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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/15/2020 in all areas

  1. It seems like this situation is making you feel uncomfortable. Weird, not sure, confused and awkward are not words I'd use to describe something that's making you feel good or something that you feel good about. If it doesn't make you feel good, why do it? I hope you are not under any pressure to perform any sexual acts and your living situation doesn't depend on you seeing him. For what it's worth, I wouldn't suggest continuing on anything that doesn't make you feel good. You deserve to feel better than that or be around someone who makes you feel better than that.
    2 points
  2. You knew your ex to some degree. Do you think the gesture would be something that brought her peace? Or are you trying to find a way to worm your way back into her head, because there is some amount of jealousy that she is with someone new? if you're doing it for you, I agree with Cherylyn. I would leave it well alone and focus on forgiving yourself, moving on, and doing better next time. Your ex will find her own peace and closure, and possibly already has. The damage is done and the risk of doing more damage with the action is not worth whatever potential benefits could occur.
    2 points
  3. It's been roughly 6 months since my breakup with my ex of 4 years. There is still a lot I feel I've left unsaid and wonder if it would be okay of me to send a message/email/letter of apology. She is in a relationship and the apology is NOT for reconciliation. I just want to take responsibility for my actions that I've realized through constant thinking in isolation were not right or considerate of me. I've learned I need to change certain aspects of myself to make the next relationship work, and I feel the first step is this but I'm unsure. I expect no reply from her which is fine.
    1 point
  4. This is about the same guy from my latest post First of all, phone is not an issue any more. The more I get to know him, the more comfortable I feel talking on the phone with him. So, that's one problem solved. And here's another one. We've been on 5 dates (and talking on the phone when we don't see each other). I know he likes me, he's told me so. He's tried to kiss me a few times. I told him I want to take my time getting to know him better, he accepted it...but he keeps trying every time we meet...not to the point that I feel uncomfortable but to the point where I feel I have to..I'm
    1 point
  5. So you do really want to stay with him? Can you name what you love about him? Besides "when he's not being an abusive a-hole he's really nice!!!!!"
    1 point
  6. I am not understanding what you are laughing about. He is an abusive nut.
    1 point
  7. Stop smoking weed and acting like you are in obedience school.🐕 Apparently you think this is some BDSM situation and proud of it?👢 Or hopefully you are just trolling, since you are laughing and completely ignoring advice.🤡
    1 point
  8. Haha the problem is he made me cut off all contacts and block any male ive ever talked to at this point.
    1 point
  9. If you want to succeed, don't cut off your nose to spite your face and stop looking at work and business as something personal. It is not. If you are a contractor, then it's a large part of your job to do whatever makes the client happy. If they want you to copy someone's work because they like it, so be it. If they want you to use poop brown color in an ad, you can advise them against it, but if they insist, you document it in writing and do whatever the eff they want. What the client wants, likes, or needs is never about you. The more you understand this, the more you'll achieve your des
    1 point
  10. Whoa!!!!!!! I cannot believe this abusive a**hole. Please read and re-read what DancingFool wrote. This man has some serious control issues. You need to safely get out of this extremely toxic relationship --- NOW!!!!!
    1 point
  11. You've already told this guy you didn't want to talk to him on the phone and yet he waited patiently to meet you. 5 dates later and you still don't want to kiss him? I am respectful of all different styles and paces, but I wouldn't be surprise if this guy thinks this might be way too much work. You are entitled to take things at what ever pace feels right for you, but he is clearly on a different page. It doesn't make him wrong, over eager or otherwise. He could actually really like you. I was a little suspect about the over familiarity of the phone pace in your other post, saying
    1 point
  12. Business is business. Its not personal. They are letting you know its not going to happen. The professional thing to do is to reply with a thank you and maybe in the future we will cross paths again. Its ridiculous for you to feel you should be compensated for 40 minutes out of your life and doing your hair. If you really feel you should be compensated for your time, say that upfront. Professionally speaking, you will meet with companies and nothing may come of it many times throughout your career. Until its signed on the line, its all just talk. Toughen up your skin and stop compari
    1 point
  13. Understood. It sounds like you would only trample all over your dignity if you agreed to work for them, and/or work for them for less than what your boyfriend made. What I'm saying is, use this as an opportunity to sharpen your negotiating skills. You don't want to work for them anyway, so you have nothing to lose by countering with the $$ you want. They can't reject you more than they already have. In fact, the worst case would be that they agree and offer you the job on your terms. Then you can reject them based on your principals if you want. You don't have to t
    1 point
  14. BTW, abusers are cowards who are terribly afraid of other men. So recruit your brother, your father, your cousin or a trusted male friend to be present when you tell him to get out and to never contact you again. I guarantee he will not pull any of his garbage in front of another man. So, what do you think about the advice you've received? Are you still "hoping"? And it's OK to feel sad or like you "miss" him. It's human nature to bond, but it's wise to cut this particular bond.
    1 point
  15. If he's living with you, why do you want someone bringing all kinds of girls into your place? Also, these are strangers and theft of your possessions is a possibility. If you're renting from him, why haven't you sought out renting by yourself or with another woman who shares your idea of what a good roommate would be? If you're going to live your life like you're in a raunchier version of the sitcom Friends, that's what your life will be like--full of problems and ridiculous situations. What are your relationship goals? Would you like a longterm relationship with someone or not? If so, why
    1 point
  16. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Having the state of consciousness to be able to text with clear sentences and ongoing sexting and yet not aware what you're doing or no recollection of it? You're quite naive to believe this nonsense. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Secrets have a way of coming out, whether it be coincidence or your guardian angels at work to notify you that you're with is someone you shouldn't be with. Love is irrelevant if there are dealbreakers. This would be a dealbreaker to me. If it's not to you, you deserve the consequen
    1 point
  17. Well...first of is you shouldn't be sleeping with your roommates. Yes, it can make life very very awkward and uncomfortable. Second is that any kind of relationship isn't even an option. He is 21 year old kid in a candy store sowing wild oats and sleeping around. (hope you use protection and test for STI's regularly if you are going to continue to sleep with him). These other women are not girlfriends, OP, they are just a rotating stable of fck buddies. When you use terms like relationship and girlfriends....you are probably not cut out emotionally for a strictly arm's length casual fck
    1 point
  18. I completely agree with Wiseman. Writing and not sending it will help to alleviate your guilt/wrongdoings/ misconduct.
    1 point
  19. Whether she's taken whatever or not her behaviour is unacceptable. As mentioned, lots of red flags here. More importantly the trust between the 2 of you is now completely broken as you stated yourself. You cannot get past it, nor should you try too. Wish her well, end it and block.
    1 point
  20. Any unfinished business, unresolved feelings etc are yours to sort out, not something to inflict on her. Journalling, therapy, talking to trusted friends, family, etc and starting to date again would help you move forward a lot more than sending a letter. Of course it will keep you wondering. Did she get it? Will she respond? How will she respond? Will she show it to her bf? Will they laugh at it? Will she get a restraining or cease and desist order? There is a thread specifically for this feeling: "Post here instead of contacting your ex!" https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.ph
    1 point
  21. And not even just signs of violence - this is violence. Greendots (and everyone else here) is right. This man is dangerous to you. He's an abuser, full-stop, and you can bet it will not get better if you reconcile. It will get worse as he attempts to isolate and control you even more. The tears are manipulative, meant to make you feel sorry for him so he can get you back under his thumb. Don't buy it. He sure didn't care when he was beating you, did he? Stay the hell away from him. Look into some resources for yourself to help strengthen your own boundaries so you run from this behaviou
    1 point
  22. It’s not weird to have consenting sex with another adult no matter the age. What is weird is that you mention the word relationship when it’s not even in his vocabulary. He is having his cake and eating it. Thinking you are cool to fk and cool that he does others. While you stay in Your room alone lol Why are you living with a guy half your age who really just thinks a hole is a hole?
    1 point
  23. He doesn't see you as relationship material. Even if he does, an age gap that big would soon expose a whole world of differences between you and his comparative immaturity will begin to show (I speak from experience). Why do you want to have sex with someone young enough to be your son, who you know full well is also having sex with women his own age? If you're his landlord things could get really messy - look for someone your own age to have sex with and keep this lad as a tenant and nothing more.
    1 point
  24. He's not looking to date you, OP. Have sex if you want, but don't get attached. Him having other girls around is your very clear signal that you're just one of his many options.
    1 point
  25. I have to echo Billie here. OP, women in love - who are mature and rational - do not pull away to test their men. If they're pulling away, it's likely because they're losing interest or simply don't want to keep trying. Assuming your ex isn't totally immature (because then you'd have to question why you want her back anyway), is it possible she'd simply had enough and was detaching before the breakup? I think that's the likelier explanation.
    1 point
  26. This guy is dangerous. He will not change. What do your friends and family say? Would you want the same for one of your friends or siblings? Have you been in other abusive relationships, as you are questioning the behavior and reconciliation? You need to cut him off permanently. Stop the contact and block him. Contact an abuse hotline. When the shutdown lifts, I highly recommend counseling.
    1 point
  27. I'd let it go. Another way of accepting and taking responsibility for your actions is in understanding that your actions have an effect on others. Sending someone who's moved on with another person in another relationship a letter isn't fair to the other person or their partner. I feel this would be a test in what you've just learned. You can take that apology in your heart and turn it into good actions and good thoughts towards new people you meet. Turn the sadness you feel into something positive and recycle that emotion or feeling of unfinished business. I think the kindest thing you ca
    1 point
  28. Your heart is in the right place, you have a conscience and you feel remorseful which I commend you for. A lot of men or people regardless of gender have zero conscience, they're in denial nor would they ever care to apologize in a million years. You are the former and not the latter. I laud you for your integrity. However, there is a time and place for it and this is not the time nor place for it. If you wrote to her, you will indeed be worming back into her head and would you want to cause unnecessary drama in her life while she is pregnant and about to become a new mother? Don't d
    1 point
  29. If you owe her money then pay it back. If you caused some other actual harm to her and never took responsibility then you can own it and offer to make it right. Otherwise just let go man.
    1 point
  30. I totally get how you feel, Cherylyn, but personally, I would love for my ex to send me an apology of some sort (he wanted a divorce). I believe, in my case, it would bring me closure. I don't want anything to do with him anymore either, unless it's something to do with my kids. I'd be OK if I never saw him again but I sincerely would feel better if he sent an apology.
    1 point
  31. I am sorry you are in such pain. I know how much it hurts and, unfortunatey, there no off switch to turn off the pain. I've been there, too. Here's a little story: I was married for 29 years. Now, every marriage and relationship has its ups and downs, granted, but I was pretty content. After all, I did take my vows seriously. He was/is a controlling person and I believe he suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It was his-way-or-the-highway type of situation. I'm a very easy going person, so I mind really mind. He was kind at the very beginning but became gradually worse. H
    1 point
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