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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/08/2020 in all areas

  1. Yes, that's a good idea! I don't agree with taking the approach that it's not important because people are sick and/or unemployed. I get it. I get that it makes you anxious - my husband's clutter sometimes makes me anxious and I cannot clean it up -he won't let me. And no I'm not going to make myself think at that moment "it could be worse, we're healthy, right?" Perspective has its place and I'm tired of being told my feelings aren't valid -meaning, tired of reading on Facebook that if I have a job and am healthy how dare I even think about how desperate I am to have my child back in school so I can get some breathing room like I'm used to -and yes I feel safe if i want to vent about that on the thread you started -no I would never post about that on Facebook in response to someone feeling down because she or a family member is ill or unemployed. It's all a balance and I get why you are feeling anxious.
    2 points
  2. Hi All, I just discovered this forum recently. I am 31 years old, and about 2 to 3 years ago i just discovered that women are not interested in dating short men. This somehow explained a big mystery that had always gone through my mind: the reason why I have always been single and have never had a girlfriend. I have gone through very tough times when we talk about dating. In university, i have taken lots of winds; all guys were dating (even the short ones but slightly taller than me). Up to that point i could have never imagined that the height was something to blame. I was putting a lot of effort to date but was always unsuccessful. The result was quite catastrophic, as i ended up doing my first time with an escort girl. I wish i could have offered myself a better experience. But that day i remember i was hesitating a lot; i was 21. i said to me at some point it has to happen and was hoping to get more confidence after that; i did get confidence after that. I also went through personal improvement on confidence, and I have become more confident; went to gym, etc. I have obtained slightly better results, which was dating some girls but you know what? These datings never last long. Moreover, i worked with a psy; eventually i started seeing some girls but realised that this was not lasting long; never more than one month. Every time at the beginning things seem ok although I can see that the girl is not 100% in; but then after dating for a little while they have always left me. At some point i dated a girl for 4 months but as we got really close to each other emotionally, she said to me that she didn't see me as a boyfriend and she had not imagined that we would get so close romantically. I multiplied short term dating (rarely above 2 months in length) until the age of around 29, when i then started suspecting my height as a possible issue. by searching on the web i then confirmed that this is the main reason why i have never had a girlfriend; i have never had a girl saying to me that she loves me; even some of the girls i was seeing, i notice that they were only comfortable meeting me in the house; we never went out in public together, etc. The truth is that this is a killer on the mental strength. I don't know how to handle this; every other attempt ends with a negative outcome. The reason why i was dating some girls at some point is because i had a nice car. Now i have gone back to uni to do another degree and i am confident that in 2 to 3 years after my degree i will be making around $300K per year. I am an intelligent guy and am studying at the best school in the world for what i do. But then it will be strange to have girls around you if you know they are there for money? My question is when you know that without this money girls are not interested in you, how can you handle that, for someone who wants to build a family and have kids? People in my family, including my mum, have been making fun of me because i have never presented a girl to my parents; i have never had the opportunity to bring a girl home. My mum has been pushing me hard to get into a relationship and to have a kid, but when i tell her that my height happens to be a problem she doesn't believe me. I am only child. My aunties are making fun of me, and often i feel alone; i have no one to discuss this problem with. It's very difficult to be in that situation. Note that i have verified this assumption many times and it turns out to be true that if you are a man under a certain height it's a NO GO, no matter what other skills you have. Sometimes i was even so close to finally land a girlfriend; so much close, but despite everything the girl still hesitated so long and ended up not giving me a chance. A lot of girls told me that it is true; a lot of girls have turned me quickly down as well in bars and clubs, saying that i am same height as them and i am not tall enough for them. I always feel like the last one in my group of friends; all have or have had relationships but i am the most mysterious one, whom people have never seen presenting a girl to friends or family. The least we can say is that this is very tough. And it is more frustrating if your parents do not understand you. I would like to hear from short men who are maybe more than 35 or 40 years old, about their experience? How do things change when people get older? How do women perceive short men at that age? I heard that being single at 35-40 years old, rich, and no kids make men high value on the market, no matter whether they are short. is this true? Thank you all in advance for your answers! :)
    1 point
  3. I have no advice but I know your frustration. My dwelling looks like hoarders central right now due to Corona and I've just had to deal with it. Maybe ask them to go into another room while you get your cleaning groove on.
    1 point
  4. I mean is dude walking behind you knocking things off shelves right after you put the cups back on them? I've got PTSD and am a pretty hardcore introvert, so there's a lot that sucks about constant stair noises, overall just feeling a constant presence around, sporadic yelling at the cats out of nowhere, etc. I likewise do the cleaning around the house (I'm the cook as well). If I want a solid period of time just to catch up around the house or to cook without intrusion, I offer a good snack or small meal for her to relax with and play / watch her favorite video game or show. Playing to her interests that get her out of the way has been a pretty good strategy, and fortunately one that benefits us both without resentment.
    1 point
  5. Maybe I could get him to go watch TV in our room so he can leave me to the main level to clean it. My husband has really severe ADHD so he can get very scattered and leave things around as he goes. It is worse now that he is home 24/7.
    1 point
  6. I feel ya! I love a tidy space, but with two people (one of them a 3 year old) at home 24/7 it just isn’t possible. I try to just clean up after myself as much as I can, he does the same, and on the weekend, or after work on Friday, I try to do a deeper clean of the house. Usually this works fairly well, since we have 2 stories and he takes our daughter upstairs to play while I go Wild downstairs, and then he’ll take her down, and I finish the upstairs. Sometimes he’ll take her outside in the yard for a bit to give me some time. I have accepted that a place that is lived in every minute of the day won’t look as pristine as an IKEA catalog (even if I’d love it to be haha). I feel much more productive when it’s clean though, so maintaining a once a week scrubbing of the house is important to me. I’m not sure if this could work for you. Maybe let him know on Saturday you’d like to do that and he can either help out or just be a bit more mindful of not leaving dirty plates on the table while you’re doing that?
    1 point
  7. I don't want to be unkind here, but I can't make a reply without saying that letting a man buy you a house, while you cheat on him with someone else, is incredibly cruel. He deserves to know what is going on, so HE can decide what HE wants to do about all of this. It is okay to lose feelings with someone. It's okay to be uncertain. But your partner deserves to know what you are thinking/feeling when things are this serious. If he wants to give you space to figure it out, that should be his choice. But you are lying and taking advantage of him. I don't say that to be antagonistic towards you, it's just the truth. You need to talk to him and let him have input on these things. And absolutely do not let him buy you a house right now.
    1 point
  8. I think its a mistake to focus on a stereotype. There is no 'all women'. Only you're individual connection to a specific woman. Start there. And tell your mom and aunties to get a new song, because their tune isn't helping. They want grand children? how about they start helping your confidence and help you. Instead putting you down to make up for whatever their lives lack.
    1 point
  9. If you don't normally have a suspicious mind, and this hasn't been a problem with other guys you've dated, then why be with someone who regularly upsets you? I would find a guy constantly on the prowl with his eyeballs to be creepy, disrespectful to me and the other women, and a person with the mindset of getting off on seeing who around him is hot is objectifying women (done to this extreme extent). If that's who you think is the prized person worthy of spending a lifetime with, you have very low self-worth.
    1 point
  10. I am not sure I've read about your other rounds. Is there anyway the two of you can coexist and not discuss politics at all? Agree to disagree. I know my last bf and I had entirely different views, therefore we didn't go near them. But then again, we are no longer together . hmmmm? I will point out that you told her she's flat out wrong. But political views can be very subjective. She may very well not be wrong. It may also very well not line up with your take on things. Not wrong, just different. I think this calls for being respectful of each others differences. Her saying "all" or "everyone". . people tend use global terms when they are passionate about something. Maybe you didn't need to correct on her on semantics. You got your word in. Was it worth it?
    1 point
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