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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/29/2019 in all areas

  1. I'm so sorry he was so childish about this. Adults talk about problems & make definitive statements. He was a coward. Sounds like he was trying to piss you off so you dumped him so he didn't have to be the bad guy. As much as you might miss the good stuff & how lousy it is to be broken up at this time of year, in the long run he did you a favor because he was not a good partner. Lick your wounds & prepare yourself to start the new year with a new outlook on love with a more suitable partner.
    1 point
  2. Oh heavens. In your naivety & fear you have gone about this all wrong if you want a relationship. Since this was based in friendship, you have to find someway to talk to him about what you want & how your feelings have changed. He's not going to start this conversation because he likes what is going on now. He has never been forced to make a commitment. You give him easy sex with no strings. Why would he want to change that? It requires no effort on his part. So if you want things to change you have to change them. Some men can't go from the FWB thing you have going on to a relationship because they have no respect for women who sleep with them without commitment. I'm not getting that vibe from your story but I also don't have a great deal of faith in your skills to accurately perceive what is going on. The other girl at the bar may be your competition but she also may just be a blip increased in importance by your fears alone. So are you willing to walk away & stop fooling around with this guy if he doesn't want a commitment? If so, speak up. Draw your lines in the sand. Tell him you want to be official. If he says yes, great! If he says no, you kind of have to walk away. If you don't, he will lose all respect for you & conclude that you don't have enough self respect or self confidence to stick up for yourself. Eventually you will find yourself on the outside when he finds the girl he thinks is worthy of being his GF.
    1 point
  3. So in four years of knowing her, nothing has changed, as would be predicted, since past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. You continue to tell her of your feelings and she continues to tell you no romance is happening. Of course she enjoys the friendship. Everyone loves a fan. But the friendship isn't working out for you. What are you doing to treat your depression? If nothing, I would seek treatment, for your own good and to enable you to be a good partner to someone, someday. Retaining the friendship will prevent you from the goal you seek--having a gf. A new woman will sense your feelings for the other lady run more deeply than a platonic friendship, (yes, women are very intuitive) and will head for the hills. What would I do? I'd tell her you can no longer be friends because it's placed a barrier on your heart and prevents you from seeking dating opportunities. She will resist ending it because all her needs are met in the friendship, but if she really cared about you, she would let you go and understand. When you're young like you are, extremely close male/female friendships are common. Most of the time, and especially when one feels romantic feelings, the friendship can't continue indefinitely. As you can predict, when one gets a serious partner, the friendship gets placed way back on the back burner or totally ends. It's an upsetting part of life, but reality none the less. Best to rip the bandaid off now instead of putting your life on hold for a dead end and getting more and more invested. If you don't have any guy friends or hobbies, I'd start expanding that part of your life so you always have a support system besides having a love interest. Take care.
    1 point
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