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Showing content with the highest reputation on 08/04/2019 in all areas

  1. Sometimes I read posts like these and I wonder if this is someone writing a book about fictional characters and needing some rounded insight from other people to help develope those characters. Don't talk to anyone online from a different country. Not only is it dangerous but it's pointless, if this is a real guy are you really going to pursue a relationship with him? How would that work? If you want to improve your social isolation that way, you should at least talk to people online from the same country as you. At least you'd have a better chance at a real relationship. Odds would definitely be more in your favor if he lived in the same country as you. Finding a random guy from far far far away is a waste of time and it's another Subconscious way of social isolation. You're seeking a relationship with someone you might never have the opportunity to meet. Not worth it! Put your efforts in likely friendships
    2 points
  2. Move on. She's a druggie, what more do you need to know?
    1 point
  3. I wouldn't immediately write this person off as not being relationship material based on what you wrote, but everyone has their preferences and limitations when it comes to drug use. I would be direct about your thoughts and feelings without being judgmental. Most people appreciate honesty early on in the dating process. If drugs end up making you fundamentally incompatible, better to learn that before you actually get into a relationship.
    1 point
  4. For those who have/ever had experience with low self esteem, how do you cope with it? I have been battling lowSE lately and it affects my daily life constantly. I feel low about myself as a person(my character and traits) and about my social situation. I got out of a relationship that triggered this problem. I sometimes feel there is no way out of it because although my reason kinda sees the things rationally(that I have no big reason to have such a very low self esteem) my heart feels totally opposite. What are some tips for fighting it and how should I see this problem? Share your experience with me. Thank you in advance!
    1 point
  5. No. You should not be using another guy to get over this one. You should address why you choose him, and continued to stay in contact. You need to be single for at least a year. Deal with your issues, first!
    1 point
  6. I already explained this in both my posts. It's okay if it's a suggestion you don't agree with. It does not mean it doesn't work for others, though. I would not be so quick to judge and dismiss simply because you do not understand the connection. We can agree to disagree without the snipes. OP can decide if it's advice that they want to take on board or not.
    1 point
  7. Well, since you asked - yes. You did. You entirely missed the point that getting in shape and taking care of oneself can boost one's confidence. I encourage you to read my post again if you didn't understand that. You also missed the fact that I didn't assume OP's problems were down to weight and appearance. Nowhere did I say that. And yet, you didn't offer any suggestions at all. It would be more productive to contribute to the thread with your own ideas instead of being presumptuous and snippy.
    1 point
  8. Agree with the bolded, very much. These days, in early conversations with a guy, I bring it up and work into the conversation when the marriage ended (at my age, most have been married), and how many years since the actual divorce. I do this in a conversational way, rather than interrogating, as I tell them my story as well. I do work my way out of the situation if it's under a couple of years. I had one guy last year that I really liked, who was fully divorced for a year, but he seemed to bring up his ex a lot. I didn't think there were any feelings there, but it was obvious, when I just let him talk, that there were still feelings of some sort, not feelings of love, but just.....feelings. So after a few dates of this, I told him that it wasn't the right time for us, and I backed away. He texted me the answer that I had been looking for all along: He said that he was hoping that, since he thought I was so pretty, that he could make his ex jealous. Yep, he said that. I thanked him for his honesty, and I never spoke to him again.
    1 point
  9. dear saku, you are caught between a rock and a hard place. Perhaps you should say that you would like an opportunity to talk to her simply to air out some feelings that you harbour and nothing more. That, of course, means making yourself vulnerable though. If you do decide to talk to her (and I sincerely hope you have the courage to do so), try really hard to maintain neutrality, if possible. I say this because I don't know specifics but don't accuse her or blame yourself; just state facts as you see them and tell her that. You have a right to feel like you do, and so does she. People have different interpretations of identical situations. It sounds to me that telling her outweighs not telling her. You have to be strong and take that step or else it will forever haunt you. Take the leap, saku! And, if you're not looking for a relationship with her, what do you have to lose? Remember that everyone goes through dark times and everyone gets hurt at some point or another. That's just the way life works. At the end, you may feel very proud of yourself. I feel better now. The issue for me is that there are days when I still find it hard to digest that my ex actually threw me to the curb after so many years of marriage. I mistakenly thought we had a special bond. How wrong I was. I am convinced that, with time, my broken heart will heal. He was in my life for 31 years so it will take some time to fully process that and accept my now reality. Besides, I'm not the only person on earth who is divorced, right? I wish you a restful weekend. Hugs.
    1 point
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