Jump to content

Leaderboard

Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/28/2018 in all areas

  1. Hi, so er after frantically searching for a forum like this I finally came across this one, never really asked for advice within a relationship before but I'm stuck and have no one else to turn to. So to start off, I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, have been for years and I've learnt to manage with it but of course I still have my bad days/weeks. I've been in a relationship for almost a year now with my boyfriend, things used to be great, I love him dearly and he used to be really really supportive and understanding with my mental health. He used to be able to cheer me up instant
    1 point
  2. No he still doesnt drive my way or involve himself in my family functions. He is invited of course but makes up excuses. However Im with his family atleast one or 2 days a week. I over extend myself. I was going to write one of the good qualities is that he has strong family ties. He is always with them or we do things as a group. I am close to my family however he chooses to avoid us. He wont have a bbq by me . He doesnt like the town I live in. So there again goes with the critique. And he also asks me what he would do sitting around the house with my parents?(they are older) They are n
    1 point
  3. I did, I just got through the rest of the post, Im super happy you two worked things out. I think maybe you just need to relax and try not to overthink cause that causes over compensation and confusion. Theres no textbook way of dating, were all stumbling through it
    1 point
  4. If someone doesnt feel compatibile they should break up. He always comes back the next day. Thats the part thats crazy!! So like someone said before, hes either going to accept me or not. Its not fair to stay and bash. At first I thought he was trying to motivate me or light a fire to be more successful.... But i think if I made the money he likes he would still critique something.
    1 point
  5. Being attracted to people happens. It's fine. You are both unattached adults. However what's awkward is the living arrangement and right now three is a crowd when two are doing 'sexual things'. Also strange is his suggestion to immediately move in together. Why is he staying with her? Does he work? Are his finances a mess? Have his own place? Live with roommates, a gf, his ex? Right now he's taking the golden opportunity to say string-along nonsense to get handy, convenient and instant sexual gratification. It would be best to consider this an in the moment fling. Of course be discrete
    1 point
  6. This sentence applies to almost everything, yet it is the sentence that is among the most forgotten: Starts to look a lot less like "can't do" and a lot more like "I choose not to, but do choose to vent about it." Thank you Batya. (I've edited it slightly; meaning unchanged.) We could pin the thought to the home page here: Want change? Make different choices.
    1 point
  7. The thing is a stay at home mom is not a “ prisoner “ . And only giving someone basic subsistence is financial abuse the other way. Or you can pay $1500-$2000 a month for daycare for her to work.
    1 point
  8. I don't know if you've thought of the fact that if the two of you get married, one of you will be uprooted from all of your friends and family, and visiting them is highly expensive as you know. In the meantime, the human brain doesn't fully form until age 25. What one wants in their late teens to early twenties could do a 360 as to what one wants in the late twenties. You can find people with whom you have chemistry with anywhere you land in the world. I went to France for a month with a school group and had flirtations with a guy who was in a similar group from Greece, and a guy who lived
    1 point
  9. I didn't respond that I thought it was common. I don't. I do see why it's a common occurrence in her life and I do see that she changes her opinions throughout (i.e. first she complained bitterly about the 4 hour conversation she was forced to have with the friend - that was one of her prime examples of how she is treated badly by these self-centered individuals she says she encounters) and now she says it's ok because she has no job and no bedtime so she had 4 hours. But she doesn't have any time to go out and make new friends (obviously you can't normally meet people in the middle of the
    1 point
  10. Oh and stop excusing manipulative/abusive/jerk behaviour with the guy's "mental health". He's a manipulative jerk because he chooses to be. Stop making excuses. If he's functional enough to be so successful at work then he's functional enough to be a good person and respect his partner. Set higher standards for your self and aim higher. You'll also realise that being alone is much better than this mess, believe me. You can get the most successful career I the world and change everything you are to be like he wants you to be but he'll always keep on finding things to belittle you and to dis
    1 point
  11. As long as you and your bf are united and communicating together about this you are doing great. With my family, my dad is broken in so many ways. He was really messed up by his dad. That infected him in how he raised me, and even infected me. I made a huge point to stop that from coming to my kids, even if my wife and I have to raise them with them not knowing their extended family. Luckily our parents know we are serious and that we will remove them from our lives if it is in the best interest of our children. But growing up, my dad would beat the hell out of me sometimes t
    1 point
  12. No I do not. I just helped him out. To him I’m nothing but a mealticket
    1 point
  13. Hi smJackson, I tried to fathom out how to message you but I couldn't do so so thought I reply on here. Thankyou again for your reply. Two things you said were like a hammer in the chest. The first that I should have required her to leave her man from day one, I agree you are right, I should have. I suppose I was not cut out for this and didn't want to break up a home, though I was glad to engage in the affair so I'm certainly not without blame. Also the idea that she would have had sex with her partner. I always suspected that, but the way she so angrily demanded exclusivity from me and th
    1 point
  14. This isn't really about savings and salary and benefits, OP. And you know it. He keeps making excuses to avoid really committing to you, and once you jump through this hoop, he'll find another one and hold it even higher. Stay if you wish but know you're making an unwise investment and he will have an endless supply of hoops just waiting for you. Better get them legs muscled up, girl.
    1 point
  15. It's a difficult ride. He treated me so well in all of the ways a partner should want. He showed me off proudly. He treated me equally. He showered me with love. But his flirting behind my back said otherwise. Made me feel that all of the good things he did was from a guilty conscience. Made me feel inadequate. Played on my weakness because I am going through a divorce. Months of this I have been struggling with this behavior to understand that he is weak, irresponsible,not very bright and narcissistic. Going solo now. Don't want any twits. Have to focus on work and getting life in order.
    1 point
  16. I can only speak for myself, and I'd avoid feeding the pig. Taking this ridiculous douche bag seriously would only humiliate my BF and give his dad the shock value he craves. Instead, I'd limit my exposure. Whenever that's not possible, I'd limit my interaction and play oblivious whenever I must interact. This is different than ignoring. It's cheerful while failing to notice whatever is intended to shock me or insult me. Notice something else instead, and either change the subject or otherwise just fail to respond. The goal is not to impress change on the old man, it's to consider him irre
    1 point
  17. Why, Mandeelove, whhyyyyyyyy? Wait. He's ambitious but you have to get a job? That's pimp mentality right there. There's no "maybe" about it. That is exactly the case.
    1 point
  18. After reading all your threads in the past about this guy.....I, like so many others, can't for the life of me understand WHY you are STILL with this guy in the first place? So many threads about him, so much advice given (all ignored), and yet, here you are...STILL with the same jerk and the same problems, plus more. I have no words left. Except: Maybe it would be a good idea to seek therapy of some kind to help you figure out WHY you stay in this situation. Because, as you have noticed, nothing has changed, except maybe get worse, yet you remain. That's on you.
    1 point
  19. I second this entire post. As a parent, I can't for the life of me understand how any parent would be comfortable with their 16 year old daughter hooking up with some long distance guy 10 hours away. As to the question at hand, OP I think it would be wise to get your own place ... question is, can you afford it?
    1 point
  20. My wife is a teacher. She has 210 contract days to work a year, since she is an administrator too. With that, in addition to her extra time she isn't reimbursed for, she works about 20 days less a year than me, as a full time worker. But being a teacher is a much more stressful job for the pay than many other comparable ones. I make a lot more than her and I totally recognize that my job is a joke in stress compared to hers. It has never even entered my mind to attempt to get my wife to pick up a second job. If we had financial issues we would just adjust our finances, not get my
    1 point
  21. You walked around too much while the pain killer from the surgery was still in effect, so you couldn't feel the damage you did. Now that it's worn off, you can feel.it. Stay off it!
    1 point
  22. No, this isn’t normal — when my husband had that surgery he was given crutches and told not to overuse. Of course you overused — it felt fine because of numbing agents and now you have agitated the area if not caused damage. Did they really give you no instructions and no guidelines?
    1 point
  23. This has a lot to do with it. Make sure you are getting enough good quality sleep. Stay away from alcohol. Of course don't smoke....anything. Of course eat healthier and get some activity that doesn't overdo it or precipitate asthma attacks. Avoid worthless supplements, quack remedies, fad diets, gimmicks, etc. Do you have health insurance? Do cardiovascular diseases, diabetes or other chronic illness run in your family?
    1 point
  24. I feel so incredibly crappy this morning. I slept through the alarm AGAIN, and this always makes me feel sad. This medication is turning into a nightmare, and that is all I will say about it for now. Probably because I am feeling blue, I notice Turtle's absence more than if I was still pouring energy into his world. I realised this morning that there is no going back. I am moving forward. I am burning bridges. That is definitely a good thing, but my heart hurts this morning. Can't wait to get into work today. It always distracts me and cheers me up. :-) Hope you have a good day / evening
    1 point
  25. Why not skip trying to self diagnose and just get honest with the people who are trained to help you. Instead of second guessing potential treatment, recognize that nobody will treat you without presenting options. If you want to nix an option, just tell them why and explore the alternatives. The problem with isolation is living in your head. The bigger problem with that is, the conclusions you draw based on stuff you make up in your head are not usually accurate. So skip that--it hasn't worked for 10 years. Learn what your options are based on honest assessments, and then you can make t
    1 point
  26. Alcohol is also a depressant of the central nervous system. It adds to anxiety and depression .
    1 point
  27. Honestly? I would never contact him again. I guess I’m just ****y like that. No, he needs to apologize big time. You are about to lose your cat that you love. If you can’t be a bit cranky then, when can you? PS: I am really sorry for your coming loss. :(
    1 point
  28. Lots of green leafy vegetables... protein and healthy fats... eat regularly and limit the amount of sugar and processed food you eat. You are probably aching cause you are literally tense and anxious all day. Try taking time throughout the day to walk or do some mindful breathing. Agree with smackie about the vitamins, except for Magnesium and Vitamin D which most of us are deficient in and can help lift energy and relax muscles, and a good B Complex which will repair your nervous system from all the stress you are under. It’s pretty normal to be overwhelmed for the first few months
    1 point
  29. I have a Nutri Ninja blender and make concoctions in it that are healthy and I believe they keep my energy up naturally. Toss in frozen spinach, parsley, a banana, yogurt, milk, whatever you like. Some water to help it mix. Whirl it up and drink. I have diabetes so I dont use anything sugary but you could add more fruit or ice cream.
    1 point
  30. Try yoga, stretching, eating healthy (no brainer), lift weights, go for a walk after dinner for 10 mins. I find, the reason why you ache is dehydration, so drink 2 liters of water a day, stretch before you go to bed and when you get out of bed. Things to avoid, alcohol, caffeine, the computer, the couch, junk food, deep fried foods and late night snacking. Eat good protein like chicken and fish. Bananas a great for anxiety/stress. And do sleep....get plenty of sleep. Save your money, don't buy vitamins and herbal crap...it makes for expensive urine. You pee it out and has very little be
    1 point
This leaderboard is set to New York/GMT-04:00
×
×
  • Create New...