Jump to content

Leaderboard

Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/19/2018 in all areas

  1. Lost 9.5 kilo's now! And will start working fully again next week! And 4 months without meds now and 6 months painfree! Nice to have only positive updates now!
    2 points
  2. Hey, I'm new to this so be gentle. My boyfriend dumped me after 4 years, no real reason given other than he doesn't see a future with me. We had all these plans just half a year ago - of getting married, buying a place of our own, going on holidays etc. And now it's all suddenly gone. It's been about 4 months since the break up and I'm really not doing well. I'm 30 years old, back to living in a bloody house share with people I don't know, can never afford buying a place on my own, family live abroad. I genuinely don't know what to do with myself. I tried going out, being busy, and it does provide some relief at the time, but on my own I just feel broken. I know everyone says time helps and you will love etc, but I just can't see it happening. This man was truly the greatest love of my life so far. Not sure if anyone has any other thoughts to share but it would be good to see how others have coped with any situation like this. It just seems hopeless at the moment and I'm just tired of even trying. Can't see a way out if I'm honest, this is pure torture. I'm not going to kill myself if anyone wonders, my family would be devastated, but if I could swap places with someone who is dying and doesn't want to, I would happily swap places.
    1 point
  3. I will repeat what I just said, you are D A Y S out of a long term relationship. If she's with someone else she is rebounding if you do the same you are rebounding. An adult who has learned from his relationship mistakes would try to make sense of his new status as a single dad and coparenting rather than trying to heal yourself by jumping into something with someone else. Again, 4 kids, whatever. Baby mama drama? get the heck away from me!
    1 point
  4. Chelsea, consider bullet dodged, he sounds mentally unbalanced!
    1 point
  5. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have become husband and wife in a moving ceremony at Windsor Castle. An emotional-looking prince and his smiling bride exchanged vows and rings before the Queen and 600 guests at St George's Chapel. Ms Markle, wearing a white boat-neck dress by British designer Clare Waight Keller, was walked down the aisle by Prince Charles. At the altar, Prince Harry told her: "You look amazing." After the service the couple - who will now be known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex - kissed in front of cheering well-wishers on the steps of the chapel. Thousands of members of the public turned out in bright sunshine to see them driven around Windsor in a horse-drawn carriage. Later, Prince Harry drove the couple to their reception in a silver blue Jaguar, with a registration plate that referenced the date - E190518. Guests at the wedding included Oprah Winfrey, George and Amal Clooney, David and Victoria Beckham and Sir Elton John, who later performed at the wedding reception. Ms Markle's sculpted dress was designed by Ms Waight Keller for French fashion house Givenchy. Most striking was a diamond bandeau tiara, loaned to her by the Queen, and a trailing five-metre silk veil embroidered with the flowers of each country in the Commonwealth. Prince Harry, 33, and his brother and best man, the Duke of Cambridge, wore the frockcoat uniform of the Blues and Royals. He was given special permission from the Queen to keep his short beard as it is customary to be clean-shaven when dressed in Army uniform.
    1 point
  6. i spent the last 10+days of my breakup thinking there's still hope, thinking that the problems we had were external, thinking it was all a misunderstanding. After posting my issue on here last night, i realized, everything, everything that has happened was my fault and my fault only. i had caused everything. It was wrong that my past , people that have hurt me have caused me to become what i am today. I believe they have got good rewards from that and have a happy life now while i'm here, more than 10 years later, after being hurt by more 5 people and i continue to hurt myself and people who i want to love. my greatest fear of being alone for the rest of my life, i have to live with it, but i can't, it is too lonely, too painful. i had a wonderful boyfriend who cared deeply for me, yet because of one innocent lie he made, my insecurities surfaced and he ended it. It was all my fault. all mine. i couldn't wake up this morning, i thought, let me go back to sleep and let life end here. how nice that would be? away from pain , away from life. I'm so tired.
    1 point
  7. Thank you. I actually just looked up the codependency and it describe's me completely. But I do not want to be like that at all. I feel like a mother to him. I didnt understand why I stay with him if he treats me like this. But now I am starting to. I need to break it off but I am scared because it has been 7 years of him in my life. But I need to listen to all of you guys because I am not happy. And I want someone who will take care of themselves and love me for who I am. Thanks for the response.
    1 point
  8. She’s an awesome person. She spoke at my campus. :)
    1 point
  9. Well maybe you could reflect on 'why' your insecurities surfaced. Something he did obviously triggered it, so it wasn't 'all' your fault then was it...? BTW: What is an 'innocent lie'...?? As for suicidal thoughts, take it from me, suicide is neither painless nor easy.....And you run the risk of serious health problems if you fail. Only 1 in 30 attempts is successful and my birth father spends his life in a wheelchair now after his failed attempt.... Now, consider that you can always kill yourself tomorrow. You are dead a long time so keep it as a fallback plan and delay it a few days and see what you can do to just get through today, the next hour, the next 10 minutes. And then do the same tomorrow...Usually it will pass.... I have also come to learn that a breakup leading to suicidal thoughts is tapping into deeper wounds and beliefs...It's not just about the other person otherwise everyone would react the same to a breakup...and they obviously don't....Abandonment and Attachment trauma are usually the biggest culprits of deeper wounds that have been opened.. Try to drink water and eat what you can. Getting out of bed is hard but force it if you can. Do you need to go to the toilet or go to work...? These will force you out of bed... Do not listen to anyone that says "Just snap out of it!" or "Don't be depressed. Be happy!" or 'Don't do anything 'silly'.." etc....If it were that easy we'd all just do that and every counselor in the world would be out of business.... I'm so sorry for your pain. But please know you are not alone right now. I'm holding you* Carus*
    1 point
  10. Depression hit my ex like freight train 1.5 years ago. A low-simmering sadness/worthlessness was always there, but it surfaced like a volcano. I'd always been the "stronger" one in the relationship, meaning the role I sort of was slotted into was the one who had more things figured out/could hold the weight of things. Well, let me just say that the year I tried to keep things together—to be there for her, as she spiraled—exhausted my heart and spirit in ways I'm still recovering from. It broke my heart to let go, but I had to accept that she was somewhere inaccessible and anything I did to "help" just kind of made her pull away even more. All this I share to say: you need to let go. He will help himself, or he won't, but being the anchor will only dismantle your own foundation.
    1 point
  11. His behavior sounds controlling and abusive. It's likely to get worse, not better. If he becomes threatening, don't hesitate involving friends, family and the police. He is the problem, not you. Nothing good will come of you staying with this man. Nothing !!
    1 point
  12. This posting made me sick, because it reminded me of my ex. Please leave him immediately. He is emotionally abusive. He should not be in your life. Move out as soon as you can and break all contact with him. I know it’s hard but you can do it. Nobody is allowed to treat you like this.
    1 point
  13. @neurodude well at least I'm not alone in this :) Maybe you're right. But I just think that a therapist will make me re-live it and I really don't want that... I'd rather look to the future if only I could. God this really sucks
    1 point
  14. You are 66, not 90. I wish you would stop bringing up your age, as you are not old. You should be keeping up the house.
    1 point
  15. Sweetheart - we know it hurts so much. I think you need some professional help. I despised the thought of seeing a therapist when it was suggested to me. Now I'm in such a great place. And guess what - it's only been 4 months. :-) Stay strong and think about seeing a therapist. They're not so bad. You can get a lot of advice and support here, I'm sure. But a real life conversation with an educated, concerned person really does wonders.
    1 point
  16. Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier and never look back!
    1 point
  17. Well, you're in a toxic, abusive relationship and I doubt very much that the two of you "love each other so much." Loving couples don't have these kinds of knock-down, drag-out fights. Despite you making excuses for him, he is angry and abusive and, no, relationships aren't suppose to be like this. You said it yourself, this is your first real relationship and you're clinging to him through an emotional dependency for love, and not actual love. You're afraid of losing him and fear is never a good basis for a relationship. And a lot of abusers use that fear to keep their partners on the hook. Your boyfriend sounds depressed and quite possibly bipolar, which is why he's flipped from being loving at first to being this beast. It sounds like he's good at rallying people to his side, isolating you even more. I suggest you Google emotional abuse and emotional dependency. You will see many of the signs of abuse in what you're experiencing. Your only solution, really, is to save yourself and get out of this relationship. Once you're out, things will start looking brighter. Yes, you're going to mourn over the loss of this relationship, but you will start feeling like yourself again and you will get out from under this terrible weight that you're enduring now. You're not to blame and there's nothing you can do to fix this. There's no shame in holding your head up high and walking away from this disastrous relationship.
    1 point
  18. They actually met and started dating in the summer of 2016 and the engagement was November 2017.....
    1 point
  19. Good hard working women do not let unfinished jobs! It's about work ethics.
    1 point
  20. Women shouldn't be hearing about any of your prior sexual experiences one way or the other.
    1 point
  21. This man does not have confidence in you and he does not respect you. That's more than clear. I really think you ought to reconsider marrying him. What he is doing is a form of abuse, emotional and verbal. What it comes right down to, he looks down on you and doesn't see you on the same level as he is and he never will. It will only get worse as time passes.
    1 point
  22. You've been thrown a few bones by some pretty generous people here. I grew up around Section 8 housing and single mothers dependent on public aid, and if you think you'd find a respectable residence valued at $1700 for your $500, I think you're either ignorant or stubborn. Our commentary is financially based because your complaint is as much. You haven't given us much to lend support over as to whether your kid is school aged, how long you've been out full time work, how far in you are in your studies considering three years have gone by in your marriage alone, etc. At face value, it really does seem you were looking for easy street while pursuing your own interests with your daughter and your education. Yes, as noted by another poster, these matters are also in his interests as a spouse, but make no mistake these are predominantly yours as, win, lose, or draw, your kid and your degree go with you. He's made a reasonable concession forking over the money necessary to comfortably accommodate the three of you. It's really not that out of bounds for him to want to mitigate a further excess financial sacrifice by asking you to help out with the check rather than enjoy establishing your own savings and discretionary spending on top of being subsidized to pursue what are primarily your interests. Honestly, I think it's quite telling you even bring up your husband's salary disqualifying you from aid as a support to your opinion. And I don't say that as someone who's at all against single mothers receiving it. Your entire tone just seems to smack of entitlement. In any case, I don't see a positive result coming from this without some pretty extensive marital counseling.
    1 point
  23. This person isn't compatible with you to begin with, girl. Men who are compatible with you don't leave drop you like a hot potato to date other girls. So while you think he's good for you, he clearly doesn't feel the same way. Yes, it's normal to go back and forth emotionally, even when you know the person isn't right for you. And don't worry about missing your chance, as there's no chance with a guy like this anyway. This isn't love anymore.
    1 point
  24. I think it was a good move. The place seems to be well run, and my coworkers seem very knowledgeable. They threw me right into a new project, a 110-unit condo development, which I think is smart on their part. It will allow them to see exactly where I sink or swim. So, the signs are all good so far. The two grumpy individuals that I encountered during the interviewing process turned out to not be very grumpy at all. They are both just sort of terse/sarcastic, which is my comfort zone anyway. I did get into a slight altercation with the IT guy on the second day, but I think it was just a misunderstanding.
    1 point
  25. We pool our money together and it is all OUR money. We are a team in everything . I think this 50-50 stuff destroys more relationships than can be counted . So I think if he’s trying the 50-50 deal he should also do 50% of the housework and 50% of child care if you have children. If he’s just asking you to contribute to the bills that you both make then absolutely that’s fair . I don’t make near what my husband does but I contribute all my pay to our bills and so does he .
    1 point
  26. What you are failing to understand is that you don't owe this to him in the first place and what you have done for him is above and beyond average. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Literally most women out there would have tossed him out long ago. Also, I'll second whoever said - he is not a hero for working and paying the bills. It's what people do. He is NOT special for working and providing for his family. Just an average run of the muck schmuck. A dime a dozen. This world is full of men who are...working to provide for their family. It's how society functions pretty much. You ALSO worked your azz off raising the children, servicing his ungrateful azz and you give yourself zero credit and that is a problem. You are his wife, not a prostitute performing services for pay for crying out loud. Yet you have allowed this pig of a poor excuse of a human that you keep calling a great husband to treat you as such and to complain, pitch tantrums and otherwise keep threatening you with divorce whenever he is not sufficiently satisfied with services rendered. This is not how marriage works. Your real fault in all of this is that you are codependent and didn't drop kick him out of your life years ago. Either way, it's not too late now. Own this divorce and get a pitbull of a lawyer to take care of your interests because you are currently way too damaged and too weak to take care of yourself. You will thank yourself later once you are finally out of this fog you've been living in.
    1 point
  27. I'm sorry to hear about so many people that are hurting in the same way I did a couple of years ago. It was the worst time of my life - period. But eventually, things got better. It's taken about 2 years to get over her but just the other day, I heard news from a mutual friend that she's got a new guy and a new house, etc. I will admit that I've been ruminating on her, but only briefly and none of the heartburn or insomnia, or urges to creep her on social media have returned. I'm going to take this as a sign of progress. Just remember that what you're going through is normal. But don't think that hurting yourself or others in any way will help ease your pain or make people understand what you're going through. A lot of you are looking for a "quick fix" to move past this painful process but it doesn't work this way. However, if you take the time to read and learn about people and relationships, positively change negative things in your life (physical, mental, emotional) through various means, you'll move through this ish faster than you think. When I really was at the bottom of the recovery bell curve, I chose to learn something new every day about relationships or some other topic - as sort of a small daily goal. I had always been a gym rat, so hitting the gym really wasn't anything new in my life. However, after trying to date half of the age appropriate women in my city (and after seeing it wasn't helping) I did start setting a goal of trying to find an event every weekend that I would go to on my own that was something I hadn't experienced before. I went to art galleries, our aquariums and zoos, went to cooking classes, took some advanced guitar lessons, high performance driving schools (awesome), etc. In a weird way, I realized I was really learning a lot about myself through these experiences and through therapy. Essentially, I gave myself the time and space to start "moving the needle" in a positive way. I won't lie. I still think about my ex but the self-inflicted pain that came from the false hope of reconciliation began to subside after about a year or so. After a while, I found that I really felt good about sharing my sad little story but even more, trying to give hope to those that are hurting out here. Be good to yourselves. The light at the end of the tunnel is closer than you think.
    1 point
  28. You have different relationship boundaries so it'll never work. You both must be young with this student exchange thing. He probably has outgrown the youthful relationship you two had and now wants to sow his wild oats again after being in a LTR. He let you go so easily and I know it's hard on you, but let him go. It will take you a while to mourn the end, but one day, when you meet a man who meets all of your main needs, you will understand why everything worked out the way it did.
    1 point
This leaderboard is set to New York/GMT-04:00
×
×
  • Create New...