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Showing content with the highest reputation on 04/16/2018 in all areas

  1. Jeez, guys, you're acting like OP and her relationship are doomed. Calm down. She's still in it; she's just bored and has GIGS. She very well can stay and make this work, easily, if she's willing to work on the relationship.
    2 points
  2. The point you've reached with him is a point you'll reach with anyone. It's called being in a relationship. At some point something shifts inside of us where the work of staying together, growing together, and finding new planes to explore together is as exciting as being alone and/or seeing what else is out there. It doesn't sound like you've reached this point, especially if 10 minutes with a new person is enough to get those gears turning. Those ten minutes will happen and happen and happen a million times over in any long term relationship. I'd look at this juncture in two ways. One, it
    2 points
  3. My daughter turned 3 in January and has started establishing some physical/privacy boundaries. Much of this started when she started full swing into potty training, which makes sense. We have a set of grandparents (wife's parents) that live a few hours away. They see her less than a dozen times a year. She is comfortable around them but they don't see her all the time so she is still a bit subdued/shy with them. Well I have talked to them on several occasions because they seem to ignore/disregard my daughter when she tells them to stop something she is uncomfortable with. Thi
    1 point
  4. I'm sorry man, no epiphany, what you're doing is classic deflection. Stay here a week, something must be in the water, tons of posts just like yours. my ex MUST have a mental disorder. Sometimes people suck, it's really that basic. As a side note, this really should be a glaring lesson to any responders who throw out diagnoses. It's giving a poster the fuel to fire that 'keep my focus on my ex' flame. It's so harmful, I really wish people would stop.
    1 point
  5. I attempt to approach my cousins' kids and if they act unsure or hesitant I back off No sense in making small children afraid of me. If I'm able to gain their trust then I proceed by playing calmly with them unless they want to rough house or run around. I take my cues from them. No way would I ever force them to hug or kiss me. And I think it's ridiculous to try to guilt or shame them into doing so.
    1 point
  6. Maybe couples should make themselves a hard times fund. A little each week, that in the event they feel like they need to create a spark, go on holiday or whatever, they have "counselling" money. Save the relationship before it snowballs into something people feel like they should give up on??
    1 point
  7. I agree with everyone else saying these are good boundaries. It’s healthy for your child to talk about boundaries and establish them. And her extended family needs to acknowledge these boundaries.
    1 point
  8. Just want to say good job. She's lucky to have a dad like you. It reminds me of my own father, and I'm grateful for his respect and protection of my own sense of self since I was young. I realize as an adult what a rare gift it was that my parents did this. As an adult interacting with other people's kids, including family, it's uncomfortable for me when some of them try to push their child to show physical affection with me ( kisses, hugs). A child will when they are comfortable and want to, and as a grown up, it certainly doesn't hurt my feelings if they do not wish to. I do have a rather
    1 point
  9. I mean.....she told you flat out that she is a mess and not in the right place for dating. So STOP. If you proceed after being told to your face and being blatantly jerked around, you are not only a glutton for punishment, but you are basically setting yourself up to be used and abused as she feels like. Maybe go find women who are actually in the right place to date and want to date you. You know...someone who is emotionally stable right now. Never ever waste your life trying to save a damsel in distress, because all you will get out of that is a distressed damsel sucking the life out of y
    1 point
  10. You need to take this glaring loud cue and make your exit and make it a permanent one. Your girlfriend doesn't respect you---to the point where she's denigrating you in public and taking the side of someone who you asked not to put her hands on you. If you'd taken her someplace and one of your boys started putting his hands on her and she told him to stop and you spun around on her and said "shut up--what's you're f**** problem?", her hair would be on fire. You'd be far better off not dating the likes of her. This doesn't deserve fixing. Leave it where it lies and move on.
    1 point
  11. Reading this...wow...they sound controlling. And, you're right, the whole "When I was a kid..." thing just doesn't fly. When I was a kid, it was still OK to whip kids with things like belts, electrical cords, etc. (my parents never did this, thankfully!) and that was a holdover from my parents' generation, when practically beating a kid unconscious could be considered "discipline." It sounds like your wife's parents are hopelessly stuck in the past, thinking that what "worked" when they were kids (it probably didn't, really, but they were conditioned to think it did) is still relevant today.
    1 point
  12. Learning personal boundaries is important for a child's safety. Everyone needs to be taught about personal bodily autonomy. I was taught to kiss grown ups and give them hugs or I was hurting their feelings. That is WAY to much emotional responsibility for a child. And those very lessons where part of why I ended up being sexually assaulted at a young age. Because when an adult told me to do something physically, I had been taught to do it, even if it felt bad or wrong... because that it how a child is supposed to treat an adult. You body is yours. Teaching children that their body is open
    1 point
  13. That woman can't do anything without his express permission. She talks all mess at you and she knows it works because, well, here you are, but until he gives her the OK to proceed with him, nothing is going to happen. That is where your investment needs to be--in trusting him to handle his friend. Sometimes, you have to just sit back and adopt the motto: video ex taceo---I see but say nothing. Right now, observe and don't run to him complaining. You want to force her to take her obnoxiousness to the next level so your boyfriend will see the lengths she will go to to interfere in your rela
    1 point
  14. I have been with my husband almost 30 years. We have had our really hard spells. Times where I actually hated him. Long standing love needs work. Work on ourself, work on each other, and working at reconnecting.
    1 point
  15. You have NO IDEA what you are talking about. you are way off base. people should NOT enter a bathroom while someone else is going. He never said his daughter never wants to follow rules or say please and thank you --- EVERY kid needs to be told that they don't HAVE to be touched. A kid that is told that they have to let any adult touch them that wants to leaves themselves open to being molested because they will learn that they can't say no. I will tell you that when i was tickled as a kid, people would pin me down (uncles, cousins,) and it WOULD HURT. I would physically hurt t
    1 point
  16. A child has a right to protection of their body. Full stop.
    1 point
  17. Have you tired sending these people some of the numerous article out there on why children having personal boundaries is important to their safety and wellbeing? They are from a generation that didn't believe that children needed those things. Maybe some outside information would help them understand why it's so important... although it seems really strange to me that either or both of you saying that it is important, wouldn't be enough. Good for you and your wife. I hope that the rest of your wife's family can figure out how to respect your daughter so that they can have a relationship
    1 point
  18. Bottom line: Op, you were rude and instead of apologizing for your lack of good grace, you turned this around on her and complained about her bedroom abilities. Own your bad behavior and apologize for your lack of consideration to her sensibilities. There is, in my opinion, no harm in watching porn (as long as it's not an addiction) or wanking off but to do it beside her quite another matter.
    1 point
  19. Thornz, does it ever occur to you that when life is stressful, you are supposed to feel stressed and that's actually normal? You can't just always be happy or feeling good. The way you deal with stress is by addressing and taking care of the things that are stressing you. Like do what you need to do at work to meet the crazy deadline. Once you get there, it will be a relief and a sense of achievement - you did it kind of a thing. As for tickets.....I mean....it's not like you aren't aware where you park or that you were speeding. Nobody is going to e-mail anything to you when it comes to th
    1 point
  20. I would go to the post office to place a forward on my mail. If the tickets are mine, I'd pay those to get them out of the way. From there I'd find out from brother exactly how he believes that I can help him: will he allow me to contact the local hospital to request a referral to a case worker? Will he allow me to go with him to a therapist or counsellor or doctor? What would be his timeframe for me to return and work on any steps he'll allow me to help with? For me, actually handling practical matters tends to keep me focused beyond rumination and feeling lousy. I'd put in extra time at w
    1 point
  21. This could potentially be harsh so....do read on or pass.... She is not aggressive, she is very insecure and lashing out due to fear. This insecurity is due to your behavior, OP, specifically how you treat the dog and how you respond to her behaviors. I am NOT implying that you are a bad person, only that you don't really know how to respond correctly so as to build confidence in the dog. Instead, you are likely exacerbating her insecurities with the best of intentions. I hate to tell you this but you are the cause of her issues. Medication isn't going to solve this. Get a really good t
    1 point
  22. That would be enough for me to have her put down. She can no longer be trusted.
    1 point
  23. Yes, its no wonder they have given up on the two of you. It's clear that his ex is the level headed person who is caring for their GRAND CHILDREN. I'd want to stay on her good side as well if my son was a write off like he is. Sorry, but that is the reality.
    1 point
  24. I think you may be responding to me rather than Rusty. Regardless, you're not an idiot, SweetGirl28. You had a rough night. Be kind to yourself. Sending good vibes your way. Hopefully, you do not have a hangover today.
    1 point
  25. If you're not getting enough sex, she isn't a good partner. Your drives are out of sync. Two adults should be able to come to an agreement on boundaries. What is acceptable, what isn't. There should be no judgement. If there is, you're not a good match. Neither of your behaviour's are bad. You just need to agree on them, or agree to disagree. If you can't do that, you're not a good match.
    1 point
  26. Just move out and end it. That is the only way to do it. There is no way to soften the blow you are about to do. Above all be honest that you don’t ever see a future for the two of you. Don’t give him false hope. Don’t offer to be friends still because he will have hope from that. Break it off and never talk to him again.
    1 point
  27. Btw, we decided that we will not be doing playdates in homes with guns.
    1 point
  28. This is all fantastic Sara. I'm very happy for you. Xxx
    1 point
  29. Hi, I am so sorry you are going through this. It may seem weird, but I was watching Grey's Anatomy and saw the episode where a Doctor, Kepner (a very good Christian) lost her faith in God after losing a patient. She was angry at God, she started living a life against all her beliefs. She lost her faith; she was lost. So in this episode she had a Rabbi as a patient who was dying because of a rare side effect of antibiotics. He helped her get her (Christian) faith back. I found this dialogue inspiring. I hope it helps you too. Kepner was mad, patient picked up on it and asked: Patient:So Sp
    1 point
  30. How old is she? Then why hang out with her in bed jerking yourself off?
    1 point
  31. Welcome to the fall out from the MeToo movement. Where every male is scared to fart at a women without consent. Feels sh*tty doesn't it? Just like it feels to be defamed by a woman who seemed okay with getting it on, yet felt uncomfortable and then cried rape afterwards.
    1 point
  32. [ATTACH=CONFIG]11507[/ATTACH] Picture of one of my most treasured memories as a kid. My grandparents, brother, cousins and myself camping up in Wisconsin at Indian Trails. I have been blessed with wonderful grandparents whom invested so much of themselves into us kids. Just thought it'd be nice to have a face with the story. Please pray for her. Her name is Mary.
    1 point
  33. This guy is a manipulative jerk. He has treated you poorly on multiple occasions. What does he have to do to get you to move on? Don't ever prove your love through sex. As you can see he was only after one thing. He does/did not love you. When someone is giving you the silent treatment when you don't put out, it means they do not care for/respect you.
    1 point
  34. If you trust him then it shouldn’t be an issue. You don’t have to like her or spend time with her. If he is trustworthy then she can’t MAKE him cheat.
    1 point
  35. Not necessarily. Some people don't have the ability to not lash out when confronted with these things. The result is the same. You don't need to be in front of someone to break up with them. She knows what she wants to do. If he's going to act like a child, then she's better saying what she needs to say and then letting that be that. And from the sounds of it, he's not going to take it well or respect her decision. She needs to look out for herself first.
    1 point
  36. I disagree. Past stalking behavior disqualifies him from a face-to-face. Your safety trumps etiquette, and there are no judges or juries involved in your love life. It's not a democracy, so nobody else gets a vote. You see a pattern that keeps you feeling trapped and stagnating in a lousy relationship, and that's all you need to know in order to seek all the help you can use in navigating yourself safely and permanently away from someone who has a history of attempting to hold you hostage, whether physically or emotionally. Head high, and be smart rather than 'nice'.
    1 point
  37. Who can expect a serious relationship from someone you "hooked up with" at a party? That's my first question. If she was willing to hook up/make out with someone she met three minutes ago at a party -- how can you be surprised if she has not already done the same with a friend? If you don't like the idea she slept with your friend, that's fine, but if you don't want to date a girl that might have slept with a friend, meet a girl who is not interested in swapping bodily fluids at parties with new guys, right?
    1 point
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