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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/14/2018 in all areas

  1. Do not ever stay with someone out of pity or guilt. Are you going to remain with him for the rest of your life because you are afraid of breaking up with a needy, smothering individual? What about your needs? Are you in love? You are not doing him any favors.
    1 point
  2. I would come from a health worry place if I was you not an attraction place. As someone overweight I would not react as kindly to attraction as I would with health. Tell her you want to grow old with her and you're afraid because of her health that won't happen. Don't mention weight because she will feel hurt and take it as if you don't feel attraction. Tell her she's beautiful but her health has to be number one priority and that her kids and you need her. Also I hate to say you are enabling her by letting her have access to your finances. Maybe say you want to save money and it should be
    1 point
  3. Well I'm thinking about what you all said and it's looking like I'll be at mom's for another year. That will give me the savings I need based on estimates. And having that cushion makes me feel comfortable financially.
    1 point
  4. Its okay to not move out! Get yourself in order. Don't be so eager to move. Get your life in order and don't worry about moving. Get your health in order - mentally and physically. Focus on any extra training you can get to get a more secure job if that's what you need. You need to get through a year of not jumping into a relationship as well.
    1 point
  5. Yes, this. It's inconsistent with being in a committed relationship. I think it's fine if he goes out with male or female friends, fine if that lasts all day and night, and as ThatwasThen wrote, not fine if it's a date-like activity alone with a female friend and especially involving alcohol (not because the alcohol causes behavior, because the choice to get buzzed or drunk is choosing also to play with fire).
    1 point
  6. If my husband went out on a date from lunch to midnight doing super fun stuff, I would be livid to no end. Doesn't matter guy or girl or what day of the week, they did meals, drinks, and entertainment together and hung out for 12 hours by themselves. Even if they didn't do anything, the fact that none of that involved their SO's is weird - to me though. My hubby and I would never ice eachother out like that. Now if he was away on a work trip, and had time to kill, not much you can do but kick it with coworkers or what not.
    1 point
  7. I dated in my late 30s but not my 40s. I love how you described your marriage and your journey so far. I think you're going to do fine -great -because you have so much insight and self-awareness. For me, I moved on as soon as a stranger made sexual innuendoes on line. Big turn off and not worth the safety risk. After we started dating then of course, it's part of flirting and banter so often - but again it depends on personal standards and boundaries. Had I not been looking for a long term committed relationship I might have been more ok with it. I have always been a go-getter as fa
    1 point
  8. Maew, Your words achieve something well beyond my reach, which is condensing my journey into a few engaging paragraphs. lol So very similar. Will be stopping in to catch up from time to time, even if I don't post as often. What helped me most was reading about attachment styles, giving myself psychotherapy (I am sure Freud and Jung just flipped in their graves, there are so many things wrong with that phrase), unpacking my sexuality in terms values, gender, boundaries and who sets mine and why, and studying power and the various ways it is expressed. Learning to love me started wit
    1 point
  9. Hey Joey, Wiseman has that name for a reason! Do not contact. All the best.
    1 point
  10. Aw, I'm sorry to hear that! You will love again and it will be magnificent
    1 point
  11. I don't know. When you get to be 62, you've had a few girlfriends. I guess the question is has he actually cheated on you? He wrote a letter about loving one ex. And another ex is crazy and he had to get a restraining order against her. But did he actually cheat? He is asking you to marry him. That's a pretty grand gesture. It would cost him a lot of money to divorce you. That's something. A guy usually doesn't do that lightly. I would say to trust him and continue the romance until you have information that he did cheat on you while you were together.
    1 point
  12. I bet you'll fall in love again. The relationship may not be as perfect, and your new person may be a lot different, but once you love someone again you'll feel at peace about your ex.
    1 point
  13. Chemistry can't be forced. It's rarer to meet someone and all the boxes are ticked, versus success. When I was single, I had to go on dates with about 30 men before I met my future husband. I'd say about 8 I was interested in and I wasn't their cup of tea, the rest, either I didn't have chemistry with them, or neither of us had chemistry, or we both had chemistry and went out a few times, but I ended it when I saw that they were players or jerks, or they ended it with me because they didn't like something about me. Yes, OLD is very hard. I had so many ridiculous stories I'd tell at work, th
    1 point
  14. SG, I buy and often make my own sugar scrub which works even better!! Sugar and Josie Maran argon oil. Her argon oil is the best. I bathe with it, massage it all over my body, it absorbs really well, and leaves my skin so silky smooth! I highly recommend! Just bought her self-tanner too, on line. Have not received yet, but it's supposed to give you the most natural and glowing tan! With her tan enhancer, it lasts for 21 days!
    1 point
  15. Everything the alchemist said is spot on. Literally every word. Couldn't have typed it better myself.
    1 point
  16. The single fact that he smokes pot doesn't dictate anything else. I smoke pot. I also have multiple college degrees and work in a very nice job. Something like 80%tile pay for my area. I have also had a full-time job nonstop and completely independent since I was 17. I work out and am in good shape, very active. I have been in a devote relationship with my wife for over 13 years. With 2 lovely children. I work my butt off everyday for my wife and kids. You can be addicted to ANYTHING. It is a physiological condition so it isn't entirely dependent on the substance.
    1 point
  17. Does she work? Where does she work? Why have you moved in and have a baby on the way after dating 10 mos? How well do you know her and her friends or family? Is it possible she's an escort? Have a paternity test done and find out more about her and her "friends"....or are they clients?
    1 point
  18. Yes, I asked and he said he was referring to women also taking the lead and not just waiting for the guy to do all the initiating. He also admitted to being conscious about the #metoo movement and how that impacted on making a move on me, especially as we work for the same organisation. But interns of initiating physical contact he is taking more of a lead, which I'm enjoying. Ps. I made fun of him about taking 5 dates to kiss me...he said he had tried on earlier dates but that I apparently kept running off lolol. I didn't realize I was doing that.
    1 point
  19. Honestly....to say that your gf is being unreasonable is putting it very politely and mildly. Girl is out of line, off her rocker and unfortunately it's not something you can fix. It's up to her to fix herself and to deal with her past issues. Instead, she is punishing you for them. You are literally her punching bag and she is determined that she is right to do this to you. I'll also say that if it's not Sarah, it will be someone else. Her insecurities will fixate on whatever else - how you looked at some passing woman, how often you talk to a female co-worker, etc. Unfortunately, your gf has
    1 point
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