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It all started out when I found out that my mother-in-law has lied to me. She was taking my children away for the day and I was meeting up with my husband to have a weekend away together. I don't drive and she told me that I would need drop off my children (she never offered to pick them up even tho she picks up her other grandchildren several times a week) so I asked my dad if he would pick us up and drop me off at the station and then the kids off at her house. He said yes and my mum offered to make their meal, I said yes thanks explained to my mother-in-law what was happening. She said if it was too much trouble just to drop the kids off at her house then for my dad to take me to the station but I said no it was fine thanks the kids wanted to wave me off at the station and I asked her was she going out that day because I didnt want my dad calling when she wasnt in, she said she would be in all day. Because of misunderstandings in the past and me and my parents falling out over miscommunications involving her I asked her again if she was going out and she said no, so it was agreed that my dad would drop the kids off when they were ready. My mother-in-law was having the kids for the whole weekend and we had seen more of her recently that my own parents, my parents were having the kids for a couple of hours. I phoned my dad later that day to see if kids had been dropped off ok and he said mother-in-law phoned him and said she was going out and to drop the kids off ASAP, fair enough you might think mother-in-laws plans had changed she needed to go out but my husband told me that she goes out every Friday (I didnt tell him otherwise as I didnt want to spoil our weekend) So fast forward to this weekend. We called in at her house to pick up some presents we had ordered for kids for Christmas. She said where are the kids? I said at home as we were doing some Christmas shopping for them and dont want to spoil the surprises. She said are they old enough to be left? I said yes (my kids are in their teens) We went home and I told my kids what she had said. They announced that she had left them home alone when she had gone out the weekend they had stayed there!!!!!! Later that evening my hub and I were talking and I mentioned what she had said and he said its because she cares. He then went on to mention the fact that over the years I've had disagreements with my parents and that hes never had any with his. Yes I admit I have had disagreements with mine mostly due to the fact I've misunderstood my mother-in-law and my parents have called me irreseposonsible where the children are concerend not listening to arrrangements made, hence why this time I asked her twice if she was going out or not. At one point I thought I was going mad because I always seemed to get arrangements wrong. My hub and I have spent all weekend disagreeing on things and I know its my fault because I'm wound up about her, we also got in to a discusion about when I wasn't feeling well at a wedding and didnt speak much, I'm a horrible person for doing that according to him but when people do this to me I got to live with it. When it comes to support even if he is in the right or wrong I give it to him, if hes hurt or gone to hospital or someone in his family has died or if he has a disagreement with his friends but if I'm in that boat I'm on my own. So by bedtme I was just so wound up, yes its pathetic I know and after a day of disagreements, hearing how wonderful his relationship with his parents is etc etc, I just wanted to sleep I was so tired but he had other ideas and when I didnt agree with it I got pushed and shoved and told where to go. We havent spoken since and hes away at work for a week. Only plus point is of this mess is my mam and dad are much closer to me and have apololgised for beleiving his mum over me. I would actually talk to them about it but they've had a tough year my mums mum died and now her brother might have cancer. I just dont know what to do. One thing I did realise is he doesnt normally speak much so maybe hes venting off at me and if Im talking to him it never seemst go in, I know I talk to much I can see that with what I've wrote here and when I see people I know I never shut up either but I dont know how to break this habit. Thanks for reading.
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I recently decided that I wanted to buy a new car after paying mine off about 5 months ago. My current car is starting to show signs of some serious problems. As soon as my mother in law heard I was considering buying a new car, she said she wanted to buy my car. I was hesitant to this due to the problems it is having (it is making strange noises when I back out of a parking space and other strange noises too). I was just going to trade it in to the dealership as is and get what I can for it. My mother in law was offering $1000-$1500 for it. The dealership offered a little more (I was surprised by this) and they knew about the problems. While I wanted to help out my mother in law, I did not want to sell her a car that may have some potential and costly problems in the long run. Despited telling her this, she said she didn't care and it there were any serious problems she would not be upset. On top of this my father in law recently had a minor accident in her current car (which is about 10 years old) and it costs them $800 to fix it. So the timing on all of this was horrible. The worst part of this is as soon as she was told this she called my husband's sister. His sister calls him (takes her Mom's side) and gets angry at my husband. These two have a habit of calling each other anytime they have a conflist with my husband and his brother. My husband is now saying we should not even buy the new car and I should just keep my car. This way they would not be so mad at us and not be reminded of this. My husband also thinks his sister and Mom will never speak to him again or let us see our niece. I think they will be mad for a while and get over it. Basically, they are making me feel like the bad one here. I was trying to do my mother in law a favor and not sell her a car that I think is in bad shape. They don't see it that way. I think getting upset over this car is ridiculous. Another side note - my mother in law recently lost her dog of 12 years a few months back and is still depressed over it. This may be affecting her judgement right now.
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Whilst in NY a week ago, we left our kids with my mother-in-law. She is a wonderful grandmother and a decent person. Let me start there. BUT....( She's crazy! Just tell me if you think this is odd behaviour or how you think you would handle this. As soon as we get back, she starts on and on about how she bought the kids new shoes because, "argh" she was soooo mad that my son's shoe's were WAY too small for him and he was crying every time she tried to put them on. He's 2. She took him immediately to get measured and couldn't believe that he was the same size as my 4 year old! Wow. I was shocked. I'm just sitting in the car, straight from the airport, just listening to her ramble. My daughter scratched a sore on the top of her head before we left. Now, according to mother-in-law, it's infected and my daughter needs to be taken to the urgent care asap. Wow. Again, I'm shocked. I leave for 6 days and my son's feet grow 2 sizes and my daughters healing sore becomes grotesquely infected! Oh - and I'm supposed to call her and tell her where the store that we buy our eldest's school uniforms is because last year's uniforms are "just filthy and gross" Disgusting." When I was out of the car and able, I checked out my son's new shoes. They are two sizes too big!! His feet haven't grown at all! Where are HIS shoes that fit him. There was so much shoe NOT being used I could've made a whole other shoe for someone else with it! I was furious. He's learning to walk in them, because they're spider man and he loves them, but he does occasionally trip because they're like little boats on his feet. AND SHE THREW OUT HIS OLD ONES!!! My daughter's head was absolutely fine. The sore was still there but it was a scab. We put Neosporin on it and it's gotten even better! What the heck? My husband says she prolly had a hard time putting on our son's shoes, got impatient and frustrated so instead of admitting it was her inability, she blames me. Nice. He says I should respond with the same level of ridiculousness. I don't have his wit or level of comfort "putting her in her place." My husband is the only person I've ever seen make her feel as stupid as she makes others feel. Anyway - aside from all of her exaggertaing - the part I really want to call her on is that SHE LIED!! She said she measured his feet. She said she took him to the store, put his feet in the thing and he measured a size 10! Obviously she didn't. She couldn't have because he's NOT. You can put his foot up to the bottom of the shoe and see how HUGE it is! But now we have to go and buy him new shoes that actually fit him because she threw his old tennis shoes away. Am I just as guilty of over re-acting as she is?? How do I tell and show her that she is completely off her rocker! Should I let it go or is that why it's gotten this bad? Cuz I keep letting it go? She lied! Straight up lied. I don't get it.
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Hi everyone, This might be pretty long so i'll understand if you don't want to read and post back. I guess this is just a vent session anyway. Pretty depressed today actually. I have been divorced for over two years now. The break up was super ugly. My ex and his mom went so far as to call social services and cry child abuse (on my friend at the time and also my nehew) to make my life a living hell. They did this twice and the second time they threatened to take my kids away and then called them again. So my girls would have to go through the motions of doc. examination, Police interview etc. The Pol. and doc. and social workers all knew that nothing happened cuz i explained what they were up to, the threats etc. They said they had to follow protocol anyway. Ex and mom knew the system, and thats why they kept doing this to me. Any way that was years ago. Yesterday i got served with legal aid papers stating that they were going for custody. I haven't let "gradma" see the girls in over a month b/c she let my ex see them. I know that sounds pretty weird. But my ex was diagnosed with paranoid dementia disorder and is an alcoholic. He would come around my girls when his mother had them in the past and would upset them badly. So his mother and i agreed that he shouldn't see them. THen last month she took them to a camp site while she was on vacation, and when my girls came home after a few days, they told me that they seen thier "other" dad. So me and my honey were naturally very upset. I called her, and asked her why she let "Ex" see them. She said he was all better! I lost my temper and we got into a yelling match. Her last words were "I know you are going through problems of your own" I hung up on her and she called back twice, My honey answered and he told me that she said "You tell her that i'm going to tell social services that the girls are living with domestic abuse and a pitbull"!! (a couple weeks earlier i tripped over our "pit bull" and gave myself a black eye, and this "pitbull" was only two monthes old and loveable". Natually she was trying to twist the truth and use it against me. He never abused me and the pitbull boxer cross is a puppy, isn't she pathetic? My ex mother in law made me soo mad when she said "ex" was ok. He is so unstable. In December, when my honey and i decided to move intogether, i moved out of the home that is under mortgage with my ex (ex refused to take his name off the mortgage) b/c we didn't want to live there, too many ghosts and bad memories. since his name was still on it i couldn't rent it out (he would evict them as soon as he found out and move in) So i said he could have it as long as he signed the papers to get my name of it. Well he wouldn't sign the papers and he never paid the mortgage and it is now in foreclosure. Uggh he couldn't even pay the power bill and he had room mates! He's he is soo far from being Fine! Anyway that was why i stopped letting her see the girls. Now she is pushing him to get custody so SHE can see them. It sure isn't him wanting this, he doesn't even call them on thier b.days, or buy them presents. He hasn't paid child support in two years. I was very upset about this lastnight and let my anger go. I was playing Burn out revenge on PS2 and having a beer lastnight. My honey was watching UFC on the dish and then he challenged me to a game of Pool for 5 bucks. I lost and said double or Nothing, Then i won and got nothing. So i said (i thought??) I challenge you to another game for 5 bucks. He agreed, i won and he said that i bet him "something" not 5 bucks, by this time i was pretty buzzed and got irritated and said "Yeah you are trying to get out of paying me. If i was anyone else then you'd pay me or if there was one other person here you would'nt try to lie about what we bet on" and i went back in the bedroom & continued to play Burnout and drown my sorrows in alcohol. I know i was a B*tch for saying that, it was harsh. I feel so bad because i took my anger out on him when the whole night he was trying to cheer me up. He slept on the couch and this morning all i could say, "it was a stupid thing to get mad about" and hugged him, i was still half asleep, i know i could have made a better apology if i was fully conscious. He walked to work so i know that he is still mad at me. It was all my fault. Our relationship has been doing soo good lately and i screwed it up b/c i was mad at someone else! I hate my temper, especially once mixed with alcohol. Damn! Anyway if you managed to make it through this long and mangled post, thanks for taking the time to read. -
I really need a backbone, some ca-ho-nays or whatever! But HOW TO NOT BE PASSIVE/aggressive is the reason for my life I think. My daughter had an open sore on the top of her head. i think it was bug bite she scratced open. Perfect grounds for impetigo I KNOW!! My mother-in-law told me a hundred times! We put some topical antibitic stuff on it and it was healing quite well. But, as healing can sometimes itch, she scratched it open again. Well now (according to my mother-in-law) it's infected, she needs to see a Dr., it's impetigo and she's going to lose her hair! And all because I'm a crappy mum and my daughter had cradle cap SO BADLY and for SO MANY YEARS!! My daughter is 4! She couldn't have had cradle cap for THAT many years even if she really did ever have it. SO once again, my dilemma is.....HOW can I see into the future to determine how my telling off my mother-in-law will affect our already rocky relationship?? Should I not care? Is there a way to tell her delicately to back off? She is always going to be the grandmother of my children. She is always going to want to be involved. Me not going to their family things, is not a big deal. I don't mind skipping them at all. My husband doesn't even want to go more than half the time. But his family are always going to want to see the kids. So....what are my options here? I can't keep talking to her and feeling like crap after each conversation! THING IS - i can't stop taking it personally. I KNOW and have seen, that she treats and talks to EVERYONE this way. AARGGGHH!!! She's annoying. I'm frustrated and feel like never talking to her again.
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Hi- I've never done this before, so please bear with me... I just have reached a point where I feel like I can't keep this all inside of me anymore. I have a great family, etc., but nobody that I can talk about this to. It's been a year and a half since my husband and I split up, and I'm in a new relationship with a man who I am really happy with. Most of the time I am content and excited for my new life... but it seems like a part inside of me won't let go of the pain and loss feelings about my husband. All of a sudden, I get this terrible pang of missing Matt, so bad I almost can't breathe. He is with someone new as well, and we have both moved to new towns, so it's not from running into him or anything. I just loved him so very much, and was still in love with him when I left. The driving force behind me leaving was that my in-laws had moved in with us shortly after we moved in together, and what was supposed to be short term lasted two more years until I left. My father-in-law was wonderful, but my mother-in-law was really hard to deal with. Not an exaggeration, either... her mother and sister had repeatedly tried to have her hospitalized for mental instability. It had reached the point where she would actually come into my bedroom or bathroom unannounced and yell at me for things that never happened, etc. Shortly after our wedding Matt became a contractor, and he and his dad would leave on jobs for weeks at a time, leaving me and his mom at home. After several months of that, I put my foot down and refused to have a child under the circumstances. Matt was very eager to have a family, and several large fights ensued. Finally, I couldn't take it and left. The only problem is that I was still very in love with my husband... who refused to have his mom move out or come home to protect me. So I never really got any closure on my feelings. While I hated how the situation was, I knew that I couldn't make a life like that. Is it normal to still have feelings like this? It's hard... I love my new guy very much, and I feel guilty for missing Matt sometimes. I just really loved Matt with all my heart, and I know he loved me very much. Sometimes I get the picture of him with tears streaming down his face as I told him I was leaving, and I feel sick. Like I abandoned him. How do I let this go? Thanks for listening.
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Hi all, My wife and I dont get along when it comes to matters of in-laws.Infact I can safely say that she becomes abusive even though both sets of parents have been wrong.Now I have got a job in another city . do I take up that job?? do u think the relationship will get spoilt more? Please do reply as I am in a fix . Help and advice appreciated. Regards
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I have a hard time conveying my "actual" feelings to my mother-in-law. If you've ever seen Everybody Loves Raymond, you've seen my life. AND my mother-in-law actually used to live right next door to us! Ok, but now... SHE JUST DRIVES ME NUTS! Well, that by itself isn't abnormal. As I learned from the Ray show, a lot of similar situations are out there. She re-washes my kids, their clothes, buys their clothes, makes comments about my lack of ability to keep a clean house and she takes care of my husband like he's still her little baby! Its sick. Those things I guess are sometimes tolerable. My husband always says why get upset about her buying them clothes? Now we don't have to. Am I a freak because that bothers me?? The thing I'm having a hard time with is dealing with it with HER, or facing her. I don't think she has any idea that a lot of those things she does bothers me. I know she notices the occasional friction, but I have never actually said, "please don't do that." And I have NO idea why. I've tried in a passive-aggressive really destructive way by making sarcastic comments or taking bizarre stands at the kids birthday parties or the like, but I haven't been able to really let her know how I feel. And how I feel is that I am not her child and my husband and I can manage on our own, like the grown-ups we are. I feel she doesn't think we're doing a good enough job and she has to take over to compensate. I haven't been able to determine yet if I am just being hyper-sensitive because I'm insecure about my abilities OR if she's too overbearing. Maybe its a combo... I guess what I'm looking for is what is the best way to deal with this? She's a super control, neat-freak, AND when cornered or confronted totally shuts down. Walks away. Closes herself off. (I've seen her do it with other people.) And I'm the most passive person on the planet, go ahead, look it up in Guiness...I don't, can't, deal with confrontation. ESPECIALLY initiating confrontation. Any advice, words or wisdom, relatable tales, suggestions or any other comments?? Mother-in-law perspective perhaps??
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I hear many people on here saying they don't like "playing games" or "using strategies" or otherwise similar phrases. The bottom line is - we've been doing it our whole lives whether we accept it or not. To ALWAYS tell someone "how you feel" is foolish, and you can not win that way. For ex. how pissed would your boss be if you told him/her your true feelings? How bout your mother in law? My point exactly - it's not always smart to go that route. It's not always a wise thing to tell your ex how you feel. thereforeeee, to win (yes, I see it as a game), you must organize, plan, execute, and learn from it. I'm not by any means claiming to be an expert, but just be aware that tactics and strategies CAN work. You CAN be honest with yourself by accepting that people have been using psychological tactics and strategies since the beginning of time.
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My problems continue. I feel lonely and depressed. My wife and I and our two young boys were at Disney World for a weeks vacation just last week. My in-laws (wife's sister and mother) went too. But the whole time we were there I was passive and acted quite distant from everyone. I just wasn't enjoying it there. It was hectic with two yong boys fighting and arguing alot and having to listen to my wife nagging and arguing with me for every little thing that just didn't go quite the way she wanted or expected. Not to mention my mother-in-law who has a way of making me feel like a horrible father by making little smart comments everytime I had to get after the boys when they got out of hand. I try very hard to not spoil my boys only because they have never learned to appreciate the things they do have nor how to respect their parents and the rules we have. I don't need grandma putting her two cents worth over how I treat my boys. I am a good father who loves his kids very much. But since I don't see my kids much during the week due to my working 2nd shift, my kids have become much more closer to their mother than me. And they would rather have their mother help them with things or do things with them. This shows only when we are all together. This hurts, but what hurts me even more is when they talk back to their mother or do something to her I don't think is appropriate, I will get after them and point it out to them what they did wrong. But my wife doesn't do the same when it is towards me. When we are all together, and I am trying to help my youngest son do something, or with something, he yells and says "I want mommy to do this, not you!" That's hurts. But my wife won't defend me. This happened while at DW. and when I pointed it out to my wife she just got mad at me and told me "What do you expect, I am their primary care giver!" That really hurt me so bad. I almost cried and I felt like leaving my wife right then. So I became distant from everyone at DW for fear of what I might say or do wrong in my wife's mind or my mother's-in-law mind. I felt like I was just a tag along while the kids were on vacation with mommy and their grandma and aunt. Still feeling lack of affection and (positive) attention from my wife, something happened just this past Monday. We went grocery shopping at a supermarket that has a "food court" in it. We ended up having lunch there. We ended up sitting near another family group. My wife sat with her back towards them and I was facing them. I didn't pay much attention to them at first until I noticed there was a young woman about my age and another just a little younger passing glances at me. I don't know why. But the youngest one kept turning her eyes towards me. She was attractive. So I kept glancing at her too. I am shy and usually reserved, especially having my wife and kids with me, so when we would make eye contact I gave no expression and just turned my head away. We kept passing glances at each other the whole time we were there. Was there something about me she found attractive? I don't know. But when her family got up to leave, she turned towards me one more time. I looked at her and our eyes met. I just stared until she gave me this big beautiful smile. Then I got a little embarrased and looked away. That was it. She was gone. But the rest of the day I kept thinking about it. Playing the whole scenario in my head over and over. I kept thinking to myself, "a pretty stranger smiled at me." Just like a kid, it felt wonderful. But what drew her attention towards me at all, I will neve know. And what inspired a big smile like that, I will never know either. I wish I did. I mentioned about that one woman I have been admiring from afar while picking up my boy from kindergarten. Well, nothing has changed. Today, the whole kindergarten classes had a end-of -the-year singing program. My wife and I went together and I saw that mother there too. But for the first time I saw her with her husband. I was actually a little upset over that. I was even more upset because i wanted to "see" her more and I couldn't. I was manning the video camera while my wife took pictures. That woman's husband was videotaping as well and he was up towards the wall while she was sitting down in the rows. I noticed her looking my way a lot. At the end of the program we got to visit our child's class until it was time for them to leave. That woman's daughter is in another class. But when we were leaving and walking towards the car I saw her in her car with her husband driving drive by. I watched without making it look conspicuous. Then I noticed her catching my attention. She bent alittle forward (to get a better view I am guessing) and she stared my way the whole time while passing and even turning her head to stay in view until I was out of her view completely. I sometimes feel that maybe she senses what I may be going through with my wife and that maybe she is going through the same thing. I know it is wrong, but if that is true I just want someone to be able to understand what I feel too. And have someone I can talk to.
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My husband and I have been together for 11 years but only married for the last 6 yrs. We met through our work while talking on the telephone -- we clicked. The whole time we dated we would have wonderful conversations and we both truly enjoyed each others company. We finally got married, although I had serious cold feet not once, not twice but three times. I finally got over my fear of losing my independence and got married. Things really started to change once those papers were signed. He became controlling -- of not just the finances but over our social life too. Friends of mine, that he didn't like, were soon disappearing like flies due to my husband's attitude towards them. The wonderful conversation slowly started to fade -- he would rather watch tv now than carry on a conversation with me. He's always been verbally abusive towards his mother and brother. The only person he would take direction from was his father. He is a carbon copy of his father and I know for a fact that his mother had gone thru what I am experiencing right now. About a year ago he start becoming verbally abusive towards me. I just held my tongue not wanting to upset him more. When he was in a good mood, I brought up the verbally abusiveness. I was politely rebuffed with -- I don't hit you. I told him that maybe we needed to speak with a professional to help our relationship and his temper. His response -- nothing is wrong with his temper and if I just listened to him we wouldn't have any problems. His father passed away at the beginning of May. My husband was so close to him. The verbal abusiveness died down for a while but now it is back with a vengence to my mother-in-law, brother-in-law and to myself. A few weeks ago I talked to him again and he was just as unresponsive as before. He did make an attempt to control himself but this evening he couldn't help himself and started swearing at me again. I'm so tired -- He just lost his dad and I do love him. I don't want him to feel any more pain. But I look at my mother-in-law and don't want to grow old with this man and have to been belittled every day until I die. I don't know what to do -- should I throw in the towel and just say good bye? If anyone has an insight, please let me know. Mahalo!
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Some of you have read my previous posts. I am getting married and my fiance's mother has been less than accepting of me thus far. We've been together for over a year and engaged for five months, and she has never really had any encouragment for us. Aaron and I had set the date for August 20, 2006, almost 19 months from our engagement day. But it's been driving us crazy, all the waiting. So, last week, we decided we were sick of being apart. So we are getting married this year on September 17. He was sooo afraid to tell his mom! He has been putting it off as long as possible. He was really stressing out and it was stressing ME out! Well he finally told his mom last night... Her response: "Enthused" and "all for this" were apparently two key phrases! LOL! I'm sooo happy that she's alright with this! It takes such a huge weight off of my chest.
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Found this while i was surfin the web,thought id share it with everyone.hope you enjoy it. INSURANCE FORM STATEMENTS... The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing can be very entertaining... 1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. 2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. 3. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. 4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. 5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. 6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. 7. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. 8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. 9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. 10. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. 11. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. 12. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. 13. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end. 14. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly approached in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. 15. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. 16. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. 17. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. 18. I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull. 19. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. 20. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him. 21. I saw a slow moving, sad faced gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. 22. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. 23. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
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During sex with my wife I fantasize about other women. Not all the time but here lately quite a bit. Usually these fantasies are sexual memories from my early teen years but recently I have been having thoughts of sleeping with my mother in law. Although she is 67 she is one fine looking women. Great shape and the experience that comes with age I feel she would be one wild role in the hay. Strange or what?
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Okay, I know this is cliche and old stuff, but this is my first dealing with a soon to be mother in law. In the past, I have always dealt well with the parents. I am engaged now and to be married in May/June. My girlfriend's mother came to visit this past weekend and spent her first extended time with us. She has not seen all that much of me and had to come and size me up (she lives a fair distance away). Anyways, my girlfriend had been married when she was 20 (she is now 35) and only for a couple of years. It was a bad marriage. My fiancee's sister has met me and really likes me, her husband likes me, etc. Both of the sisters really have some issues with the mother. THey are civil with her, but they both know and warned me that their mother is a negative person, very pescimistic. Not a nice trait, and not one they inherited. Anyways, I did really well with the soon to be mom in law, but she still had me alone and cornered for a little while during the weekend and was questioning me and telling me that she "just wants my fiancee to be happy". Yet, she still was grilling me. SHe apparently did the same with my fiancee. She was saying stuff to her like, what makes you think he is the one, etc? I have left it alone because the mom in law lives a distance away, and we would not likely see her very much. I do know that she knocks my fiancee's sisters' husband from time to time. I would assume that I will get the same. I let a lot of subtle "digs" go this last weekend as it is important that there is no conflict with the mother in law that will make my girlfriend upset. However, if something should escalate to the point where I have to stand up for me and/or my fiancee, is it wise to stand up and let the mom in law know that her behavior is not acceptable? Most of the things she has done are harmless. But she has made my fiancee uncomfortable for me, because of the things she says (it really wouldn't matter if it were me or another guy, she would say the same stuff). Any good advice as to how to deal with the soon to be mother in law?
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bI been dating this girl for a year, before i get started let me describe her, A husband that died 2 years ago of a drug overdose. Shes bi-polar, Drug addict, Shes hooked on crack cocaine and from experience thats not the best stuff for ya. But shes staying with her mother and father in law at the moment and they want her out. The year we have been together we have seen eachother alot, never went out without seeing eachoter, like 3 weeks ago she left me like 3 days for this retarded guy, i dont know what the deal was about that but i forgot about it and forgave. Even though it still bubbles up in my stomach and it hurts unbelievable, but during the past 3 weeks ive probably talked to her 4 times total. She stays gone constant. I dont know whether shes on the drugs or if shes really at the place shes telling me. I believe im over reacting to my own emotions. Because to be honest with ya even tho she is out cheatin gettin all doped up. I still have this ache in my chest and the love in my mind. I miss the heck outta her and i dont know what to do or what to say. What to offer for her to striaghten herself out. What do i say to this girl that will open her eyes and make her realize she has someone sitting here who is seriously in love with her and wants to do right in life. Doesnt want drugs, doesnt want cheating, doesnt want lies and hurt....?????? help!!
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well guys this is the problem i live with my boyfriend is family, now we have been living toguether for a year. When everything started all was a dream kissi kissi and everything sudenly it became to cahnge in to a nightmare when i got my first horrible fight with my father in law. i was talking to my boyfriend about my school tuition, cause he got mada at me for not telling him about the money i had to pay monthly, sudenly we start arguing and yelling.his father gets in to the conversation mind you that he does not speak english, only spanish.and me and my man was talking in english at that time when he got in to the conversation saying why did i had to yell at my man and whay i was always demanding for him to pay for everything, the guy went crazy cursing at me. mean while i was bacause my man did not say anything to defend me, he is sopose to propose to me on December and i don't know anymore what to do or say i feel betrayed and really sad. i can't stand the fact that he let his father give an opinion about our relationship, still i'm confused and don't know what to decide.................... please give me advise
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here's the situation. 10 days prior to returning from Iraq my wife told me she had feelings for someone else. i came back went on leave to be try to work things out. didn't work. she left me for this guy and i've tried to maintain minimal contact sor the last month. well, my wifes grandma is coming here from germany and I promised that i would come down there. obviously while i'm down there i'm going to run into here. what am i supposed to do. should i try to hold my feelings for her in and try not to talk to her. I don't know I still love her. any advice would be appreciated thank you
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I am so tired of my husband's jerk father. He treats my mother in law like a house maid, she is aging very quickly lately and he still finds time to go fishing every weekeend. He keeps all his feelings to himself. When my son visits he either ignores my son or tries to control him with overwhelming rules. My husband has changed careers, which his father protested, and we have been doing much better, but still there is that cold north shoulder of a man who parented him for 16 years and is now or maybe always has been a mystery. My husband looks up to him and tries to treat him like a loving father. Yet, he expects no consideration from him in return. My father in law has worked in personel for hundreds of years. I guess he is successful. Is that what it takes to work in this society? You pour out all your emotions to your coworkers so that your family life suffers so much that people wish you were dead! He also treats the son who is 28 and still lives at home much better than the rest of us. Why does he act like this?
