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Showing results for tags 'second chance'.
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Dear eNotAlone: I am in a situation in which I feel stuck. I have started and ended relationships many times, but the relationship I am stuck in now is different. I was with this person for six years, she was my best friend, and we had a lot in common. We were both strong, independent people and able to make it work for as long as we did. The problem came when, after 6 years, we started fighting more and more, about small things. We tried to fight through it since we were both so invested in our relationship, but it just seemed to make it worse. Eventually the little things add up and I felt like I had to call it quits. We are now separated, and I miss her. I know that all of the fighting got in the way of us enjoying each other's company, but I still feel like we could resolve out differences if we give it another shot. I don't know if I am just deluding myself in trying to get her back though. I know that even if we got back together, it would never be the same. I can't stop thinking though that if we tried again, we would be able to get through our issues and we would be happy. What do I do? Do I get her back or leave her in the past? * * * When you are in a sticky situation, it is important to weigh your options and think about what is really best for you. In your case, you need to decide whether getting back together with your ex-partner is really the best choice for you. While it can be tempting to want to return to the past, it is important to remember that sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to. It is normal to feel like you want to give it another shot, after all, you two were together for a long time and it is natural to want to go back to something familiar and comforting. However, if you have already broken up, there must have been a reason why this happened in the first place. If it was simply a matter of little things adding up, then you should still take a look at those same things and ask yourself if they are fixable. Can you and your partner address these issues and move past them? If so, then it could be worth exploring a reconciliation. On the other hand, if the issues that led to the breakup are more about conflict between the two of you, then it may not be worth reinvesting in this relationship. Conflict and disagreements happen in all relationships, but when those disagreements become rooted in incompatibility or differences in values or beliefs, it can be difficult to work through them. If this is the case, then chances are it won't get any better if you try again. While it is natural to want to run back to the past, it is important to remember that our relationships evolve and change, and sometimes it can be beneficial to move on. The decision is yours to make. If you think that you and your partner can work through the issues that caused the breakup, then you should talk to her and explain how you are feeling. However, if the issues run deeper than the usual everyday conflicts, then it may be better to simply let go and move on. Take some time to really reflect on your situation and take into consideration whether it is really worth it to try to get back together, or if it is better to let the relationship go and start anew. -
Getting Your Ex-Boyfriend to Give You A Second Chance
Paula Thompson posted an article in Breaking Up
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How can I convince my ex-boyfriend to give our relationship a second chance? It can be incredibly painful when a relationship ends, especially when it's something you still want and deeply care about. For the moment, the goal is to simply get your ex-boyfriend to consider giving your relationship a second chance. This may feel like a daunting task, but by employing some strategical tactics, you can make this happen. First, it's important to remember that you have no control over the outcome. You can put in the effort, but the decision lies in your ex-boyfriend's hands and it will be what they choose to do. That being said, rejection isn't necessarily a bad thing. It takes immense bravery to even attempt to suggest reconciling a past relationship, and by doing so, you're taking a huge step. Knowing this can help you enact a more vulnerable and honest method of reaching out. When deciding to approach your ex, the best way to set yourself up for success is to come from a place of understanding. People like those close to them to understand where they're coming from and why they're making certain decisions. Showing compassion speaks volumes about your character and is highly attractive. If you come from a place of understanding and empathy, it enhances the conversation and may open the doorway for your ex-boyfriend to also share how they've been feeling. Sometimes relationships don't work the first time around because there are underlying problems that weren't addressed or fixed. Talk to your ex-boyfriend about these issues before suggesting a second chance. Looking in the mirror can be difficult and even confronting rage, insecurity and other toxic emotions. But having a genuine conversation about the heart of the matter can raise higher awareness of what's really going on and promote better understanding. Once that is established, the relationship has a higher chance of developing into something solid. Time and space can help, too. If the cause of the break-up had anything to do with feeling smothered or overwhelmed, it might help to respect their need for space. Allow them to traverse the world alone, free of pacing and expectations. This proves that you are willing to back off and take initiative to ensure that your relationship grows in a healthy way. It shows maturity and an ability to step back and self-analyse. It's important to keep the pressure off. If you try too hard to convince them, they're more likely to become defensive and deterred. Take things slowly and give them time to adjust to the idea of getting back together. Talk things through without pushing them too much and avoid bringing up getting married or talking about any other possibly intimidating future commitments. Let them come to their own conclusion as to whether getting back together is the right decision for them. Above all, be kind, patient and understanding. The best relationships are those that are based in mutual respect, trust and understanding – not forced obligation and "convincing". If a rekindled relationship is going to thrive and last, it must be organic and natural. Heartfelt conversations can help mend brokenness and create a strong bond for the future. -
After a second date with a girl we went back to my place. I was drunk and she agreed to kiss. It got pretty confusing not too long after, though, because as we were making out, she seemed to be enjoying it. So I (happily) continued, and she quietly said "no." I got really confused, but continued making out. We then paused but I talked her into making out again. She then kissed me and we started kissing again but also quietly said "no" every now and again, which continued to confuse me immensely. She then stopped again, mentioned she had a boyfriend and left my place. We went for a walk after but did not talk about the situation, and when talking along the way she seemed happy to be with me and there was no tension whatsoever, but when saying goodbye she offered me a handshake but I hugged her instead. In hindsight I should have apologized during our conversation but since there was no tension and she didn't seem upset with me or bring up the situation and my intentions, I thought everything was okay. I followed up the next morning by sending her a good morning text with a couple of love heart emoji's maybe as a way of letting her know I wasn't just looking for sex, she read it but didn't respond. I didn't get the chance to apologize and I didn't want to leave the situation up in the air, of course, so some days after, I sent her two messages days apart saying along the lines of "Are you okay?", she didn't respond. I'd never been in a situation like this before, and in the past when I'm with a girl, she either gave me clear signals to proceed or else clear signals to stop. I really wasn't sure how to handle it, and I think I made my first mistake there. I continued kissing her and talked her into kissing again after she stopped. I think that if I had a chance to do this again, I'd just stop and ask outright for clarity on the situation before I either proceeded or stopped, but I suppose hindsight is 20/20. Instead, I continued making out with her. Eventually I asked if she wanted to just make out (implying no sex) and she very emphatically said "NO!" After she didn't read or respond to my texts, I sent a text apologizing that I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable but she never read it. I felt (and continue to feel) terrible about how badly I misread the situation. The conversation remained light the whole way before saying "good night." I started writing this post to ask the community if they feel there is any way to salvage the situation? I know I blew it since she ghosted me, but after a few months has past, maybe the unfavorable impression of how the night ended has subsided and she would be willing to hear or read my apology. Would it be better if I pick up the phone and call her to see whether she's interested in getting back to the way things were? In the meantime, I suppose I learned some lessons about making sure I'm reading the signals correctly, and asking for clarification when I get mixed messages. I suppose now the real reason I'm writing this up is just to get it off my chest, so that I can (hopefully) stop replaying my misstep in my head and just learn from my mistakes and move on. And if you're still reading at this point, I sincerely thank you for sticking with it! Now I just have to trust that things will work out however they're meant to, whether that means a reunion or that I'll never see this woman ever again. -
ALL I EVER WANTED All I ever wanted, Was someone to love, Someone special and divine, And who would be uniquely mine. All I ever wanted, Was someone to kiss, Someone who would stay close in times of despair, And who would always care. All I ever wanted, Was someone ever present when life gets tough, Someone who would hold on real tight, And who would keep me warm at night. All I ever wanted, Was someone to hug, Someone who would quell my every fear, And who would dry my ever tear. All I ever wanted, Was someone close and near, Someone who would be my one true friend, And who would stay until the end. All I ever wanted, Was someone to be my rhythm, Someone who would be my defining dance, And who would give me a second chance. All I ever wanted, Was someone who would listen, Someone who would reach out and hold my hand, And who would always understand. All I ever wanted, Was someone to wake up next to, Someone to cuddle in the morning, And who would be there when the new day is dawning.
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I woke up this morning with my breath sinking like a lonely ship, The bow breaking against the waves and all I could think of was how I'd lost you you, somewhere, gone from my eyes forever. I'll never have you again never feel your body on mine your hand on my hand your lips on my own I could not keep you even all the beautiful things we had weren't worth a second chance.
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I looked at that yellow shirt Looking from button to button I remembered I held it out in front of body As if embracing an old friend By the shoulders Letting him know I respect him You were such a good friend You remember when I met her She was beautiful, right? We seemed to hit it off right away When we were talking I couldn't help but stare into her eyes My heart was racing So fast and strong, It seemed like the only thing holding it back Was you, right there with me You remember, right? The first time I kissed her Under the moonlight It almost seemed as if the moon was a spotlight It was watching over us She held you in her arms She held me in her arms I was embracing her ever so gently She felt warm, didn't she? This yellow shirt You have a lopsided collar She accidentally ripped you She tried to sew you back together This yellow shirt You're slightly faded at the bottom I spilled my drink on you I apologize I was lost in her beauty I wasn't paying attention This yellow shirt Your top button is missing It popped off when she ripped you open You sat on the floor of her bedroom and watched It was my first time I'll remember it forever This yellow shirt You don't look so great anymore This yellow shirt You torment me with memories This * * * * ing yellow shirt You were there You were their that day I saw her walk toward me, she seemed upset We reached out and tried to comfort her She rejected me I sat down with her She wouldn't look at me I asked her what was wrong You remember what she said, don't you? You remember it word for word "I can't do this anymore." That's what she said, right? She walked away I tried to catch up We grabbed her arm She turned and grabbed my wrist Her face never looked so cold Her eyes were bitter They looked the same as before But I saw myself in them My arm fell to my side She stared me down She walked away from us The ring in my pocket felt so heavy I looked down There you were, yellow shirt Reminding me of everything The memories that once felt so good The memories that now feel like torture The memories that you bring back I couldn't get rid of you You brought back so many memories I had to get rid of you You brought back so many memories I'm holding you in front of my body I'll give you a second chance I'll wear you once again I looked accross the street I know you saw what I saw But who was she with? You knew, didn't you? I couldn't handle it I had to get away Every reflection Every window or mirror Brought back memories Memories of us Memories of her I looked to the left You saw it coming, didn't you? You didn't say anything The bright lights speeding towards me On this road I had traveled with you The lights went out It was in this shirt This yellow shirt When I met her It was in this shirt This worn-out shirt I experienced my first with her It was in this shirt This * * * * ing shirt She left me It was in this shirt This yellow shirt That I laid to an eternal rest -
Hi All! After reading so much about doing NC, how many of you had an ex come back to you after they've seen that you've become a different, albeit, happier person again after they've been out of your life for a while or a long time? I'm asking because my friend, Julie, is going thru this. We were out recently and we saw her ex at a lounge we like to go to. She has not seen this guy or talked to him in five years. She was totally lost for a while after they broke up. She did all the pining and whining and crying when they broke up, but then she finally employed the NC method and she got him out of her system for good. She's a much better person and a lot of fun to be around. When we saw her ex, it was a big surprise to both of us. She knew that she would never hear from him again and she had totally moved on. Anyway, they hugged like old friends when they saw each other and we all talked for a long time that night. Anyway, she called me the other day and said that he'd been in contact with her. They did exhange phone numbers, but she said she never had intentions of really calling. She just did it as a polite gesture. This is true. She has a nice guy that she is seeing. And she talks about Dave constantly! Anyway, Julie said that her ex, Paul, has called her once a day since she's seen him. She said the conversations are light and very on the surface, but she can tell that there are some other things he wants to say, but she quickly tells him that she needs to go or that she's busy. I told her not to be surprised if he suggests that they talk serious at some point. But she says that she is totally over Paul and that things would never be the same between them, so she could care less about their past. But I think whatever he wants to say to her, is piquing her curiosity, at least mine anyway! She said that she doesn't mind being friends with him, though. But that's it. She LOVES her Dave! I'll have to keep everyone posted on this "developing story," but has some thing like this ever happened to anyone here? Let's talk! Tribecagirl
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I went no contact for a while. He came back. In the time away I realized I don't want a relationship with him, even as I write this I know it is still the truth. He wants a second chance. Why can't I just tell him no. Why did I agree to see him this weekend when I really don't want to? When I see his name on my phone I don't feel anything anymore. So why would I agree to meet him? Please I need help with this problem. I don't want to lead him on and have told him I don't want a relationship with him. Does anybody understand all of this confusion? Any help will be appreciated.
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My ex finally returned my phone call and has agreed to meet with me next week. I have not seen him in 3 months and have only spoken to him twice since the break up so there has been plenty of NC and time to heal. Of course like most of you I am hopng that at some point in time there may be a reconciliation. If nothing less I think it will provide closure but as I said I would prefer a second chance. What is the best way for me to handle this so it might lead in the direction I am hoping?
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so i've been going out with her for atleast a month and it's been going great. we'd talk on the phone for hours, txt each other, hang out during lunch, go on dates and make out during some of the more boring movies (like The Return...God i swear...) but now she's getting obsessive. and clingy. she's been txting me lately and all she wants to do is say hi, get the watsup, and cyber. i'm thinkin " * * *, i'm not your 24/7 phone sex slave." and when it's not that it's her constant obsessive "oh i love you so much" every other txt. and that's fine i think, but i'm not her 24/7 worship center either. i really, really want to break up with her, but we really did have a great time with each other the first month. she's flip if i wasn't with her. i believe in second chances, but what should i do? gradually do less with her? tell her how i feel? dump her and hope she doesn't do something crazy? -
Well, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 8 months and about 3 months in some things happened that I would qualify as cheating. We almost broke up then but after much pleading, I gave her a second chance. Over the following 3 months the whole story of the one incident came out. There were 3 differant times that she told me the "WHOLE" story and each time, added things to it, making it worse. She told me that had she told me the whole story to start with, I would have ended things immediately. She has since cut communication with the cheatee but I'm still insecure and distant at times. The reason I haven't ended things yet is for the purely selfish and perhaps irration reason of fear of being alone. I'm a fairly attractive, very romantic guy with a great job but I still have this fear and I don't know why. What do other people do about that?
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The Monster Inside All those times I made our failure To succeed in love your fault it was mine All those I shunned as heartless All along the fault was mine I committed upon you the worst imaginable I abandoned you and made you to be in the wrong Somehow drawing a sick twisted pleasure from your pain I could not control the monster inside Sadly you were not the only one Not the first nor the last To feel the pain only I would inflict With my cold cruel means I let anger cost me my first chance to be human And let pride cost me my precious second chance I scorned others when the fault was in fact mine But now I see the monster inside I want to cage this monster and lock it away But fear that once he is gone nothing will remain This body will be but an empty shell Of what was once inside I am at a loss for how to accomplish my task To continue to let him loose would do innumerable harm To those innocents who do not deserve that pain But to end it with finality would do much the same My Angel of Epiphany has shown me that I am the monster inside
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ok im adopted from thailand and i currently live in asutralia, i was adopted when i was 4 and remember nothing of thailand nor my biological parents. i know nothing about them and the guardians i live with dont know anything or they hide information from me. its hard to live life without nkowing who ur real parents are or if they are even alive now. i have enough money to goto thailand when im 18 (next year) but i dont know if i will suffer more if i go there and find out the real reason why they left me or find out theyre dead. i dont know if i will cry to them for them to love me or smack them for dumping me.. should i leave it alone and live the life i have now which is a second chance to have a good life.. or should i goto the country where i was born and find out the truth even tho it will hurt??
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I need help with a situation... *** came by to see me she wanted to talk to me. *** wants me back big time,she was crying and practically begging for me to take her back she said she is sorry for ever hurting me or cheating on me and that she wants a life with me.She gave me a ring..(I don't know) why couldnt she have woken up before this? She said the person she was who was drunk and using drugs and hit me no longer exists she said she has smartend up and is working hard at her job now not slacking off and calling out.she has not been clubbing or drinking heavly in 3 weeks (I was able to confirm this through someone else as well,so that is true) Before hand when she first got to my house I offered her a glass of wine (it took her the enitre visit to drink the wine) the old her would have drank the entire bottle with me and still be looking for more to drink.I don't know,maybe she has changed for the better and is a new person.But how can I be sure? do I take that risk and be with the ony person I have ever loved or do I just go on with my life an live it and she lives hers.I do still love her deeply and that is why this is so hard for me. I seriously don't know what to do.I should just say and be done with her ..but why is that proving to be so hard?](*,) She wants me to spend Christmas Eve at her apartment and Christmas with her.She said she is ready to commit to me fully. grrrrr ...why does life have to be like this so hard? I have so many conflicting thoughts about this. Can somone change for the better on their own? I wanted to see thoes changes long ago,now she seems to be doing it on her own. I am perplexed about this whole thing I am beside myself with without answers... and wondering if this is a miricle or just a trick to get me with her again..will history repeat itself if I go back with her or can and will it be diffrent? The only think I am asking is if you are starting to see proof that someone is making the effort to turn their life around and that you really feel they are being sincere with you would you give them another chance? Thanks
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Ok for you all to understand I must give you the whole story so hang in there. Me and my ex have been together for 5 years this coming january. We were high school sweathearts and were very much in love until 2 years ago when I asked for a "break". I was really afraid of the committment we had with each other and I just needed time to think. I never talked about dating other people and I didnt want to. We still saw each other regularly and hung out and talked as if we were dating. But that label of boyfriend/girlfriend was not there. We slept together regularly and had a healthy relationship. However whenever she would ask what we were, I replied, I dont know. About a month and a half ago she asked to "talk". She said she wanted to see other people. In all honesty this came out of the blue. We always seemed very happy together and she seemed happy too. She told me that the last two years of not knowing what we were hurt her too much and that she needed space and possibly wanted to date other people to see if she could ever have feeling for me again. So theres the background. Now the confusing part. I know she still has feeling for me. She told me she still love me but "isnt in love with me right now" She has told me that she wants our relationship to work, but just wants to be friends now. She has been hanging out with a guy from her work a lot and his friends are really pressuring her to get together with him in a relationship. She told me she is not ready for that but is not ruling it out completely in the future. We still talk regularly but she doesnt want to talk about us cause she feels we are going in circles. I have told her exactly how I feel and I have tried to tell her everyday that I love her. I truly want to marry this girl. Everyone has always told me that we are meant to be together and I always believed it. But it seems that she is just waiting for time to sort things out and not working on rekindling what we had in the past. I know that she needs space but it is so hard for me to keep my feeling bottled up inside cause i have done it for too long. I have asked her for a second chance to show her I have changed and her reply is always "i cant do that right now". I need some help here cause I dont know what to do. I am not willing to stand back and let the girl of my dreams of 5 years walk out of my life like this. Im worried about this new guy. She tells me they are just friends but he has been being very friendly to her online recently. She was my first real relationship, my first kiss, and the only person i have ever loved. This has hurt me so much, and it hurts her to see me this way too. I just dont understand why she wont give me a second chance before dating someone else and getting hurt again. I appreciate any help anyone can give me. Especially from anyone who has been in this situation before. There are still feelings between us she is just afraid that things will go back to how they were before. I have told her all of this and she just crys everytime we talk. What do I do?
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Hi All, I've been reading so many posts that have helped me out a lot. Just for conversation's sake, I was wondering about second chances. Case in point, my friend Elana and an old ex of her's, Eric has come back into her life after about 10 years. While they were dating, he got married to another woman and they had a son together. Well, he's now divorced and the kid is 6 years old. He's been calling her and emailing her wanting to know what she's up to and how her life has been going, etc. She has not gotten back in touch with him until recently. She finally gave in and went to dinner with him. She said that he wanted to know why she was "ignoring" him when he was trying to reach out to her. She said that she was busy. And she is because she is starting her own business. Anyway, she said that he finally laid it out for her. That he missed their time together and that he missed her and wanted to make a go at a new relationship. Needless to say, she was shocked, but not totally surprised. She has not been out with him since, but he still contacts her. She said that she doesn't know what to do. I'm asking about this because why would someone who left you to marry someone else want to come back to you, like you're desparate to have them back. My friend is a strong person or she appears to be that way. I've ask her not to cave in and so far to my knowledge, she has not. But he keeps "pestering" her. I can see her start to cave in, like she's considering something. Anyway, does anyone have similar stories? What was the length of time before your ex came back into your life after no contact? What was their excuse? If you took them back or started a new relationship with them, did they REALLY change or did they revert back to their old selves? Was the relationship a success or not? How long have you all been back together? Please share stories and details. I'd like to know, so I can, hopefully, give my friend some good advice. Thanks!! Tribecagirl
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Wonder if anyone can give me some advice. My g/f and I broke up in Feb this year after 3 happy years. We got in a bit of a rut near the end and things weren't brilliant but we didn't fight all that often. Anyway, I realised I wasn't as happy with my life as I thought and have sorted this out by doing the things I used to enjoy and am a happier for it (Didn't have many friends as i'd moved 400 miles to livewith my g/f and done everything with her, now realise we have to have separate lives to enhance the relationship). I found out that she had started to see someone else the week before we split up (it only lasted a month), even tho she had denied it when I asked (I had my suspicions). She had a lot going on in her life then (her mum was moving abroad and work issues) and was really mixed up. Once I knew this I went into survival mode and done everything to secure myself emotionally and my future financially. I handled the whole thing very well, am actually proud of what I did and I know I did everything I could and gave her every chance. Once I did that, i confronted her about what she did in a calm manner and told her she'd been silly and had lost the best thing that had happened to her (words of her friends and family). I told her I still loved her and always will but that she hurt me really bad. Also had a good chat with her dad to explain things (he didn't know about this other bloke) I have sorted out all the financial stuff (we had a joint mortgage on a house and I bought her out and now own the house) and was getting on with my life. I even started seeing another girl around May of this year and was having some fun but it wasn't the same, the spark wasn't there. I finished it last month as she was wanting more ot of the relationship than I did and it wasn't fair to string her along. My ex works for the same company so it was inevitable that we'd see each other again. We have talked and it is really comfortable talking to her, things just flow and it is so natural. I really believe she is "the one" but I dont have anything else to compare it too as she has been the only one (Long term relationship wise - I am 32 and she is 25) The thing is, in the last few weeks we have been in quite a bit of contact, and she rang me out the blue the other week to tell me something she could have texted (our main form of communication since the break). I got the impression she was just ringing so she could talk to me and my colleague (female) agreed that it was strange. I keep thinking about maybe giving her another chance, she made a BIG mistake and I'm sure she knows that and I think she now realises what a big mistake it was. However, I'm not sure if I can trust her fully again and know if I cant do that, then there is no point in getting back together. Am going round to her flat on Thursday to give her the TV from the house and she is cooking me tea. All advice is welcome, thanks in advance.
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Hi everyone. I'm new here, have been reading for the last few days and it has helped. It's good to know there's other people out there in the same boat as myself. I was feeling alone, like a failure. So, I don't know if I'm after advice or what, but I just want to share what happened with me and my now ex. We first got together in August 1999. She was 16 and I was 17. We were together until January 2003. Then she broke it off with me. I was a complete mess. I lost 3 stone in as many months, and messed up my second year of uni almost totally because of it. We had always had quite a volitile relationship, we used to argue about stupid things sometimes, at times things could get pretty heated. But we were always best friends, and we always loved each other so much. It was obvious. Then after 9 months, In October 2003, we got back together. I was so unbelievably happy. I couldn't believe it. She said she had never stopped loving me, and I'd certainly not stopped loving her. However, I can't help thinking I was given a second chance and yet I learned nothing from my past mistakes. We split up again 5 weeks ago today, and it is killing me. I wanted to be with her forever, but sometimes I was so horrible to her. She used to irritate me, sure. And I know I used to annoy her. But deep down I know we loved each other so much. About 4/5 months ago, we were out and she admitted she had been thinking of breaking things off with me as things were sometimes pretty strained but that "the thought of not seeing me and being with me scared her half to death", things like that. I can't believe I didn't take that as a final wake up call to start acting better towards her. Not argue, not call each other names. But I think I was taking everything for granted. I thought that because she loved me we'd just last, as for the majority of time things were really good. We had a great summer, back in June we went to York for the weekend. In September we went to Spain for 2 weeks, and I thought we had a really good time. We did have a really good time. But less than two weeks after we got back, she finally came out and said she didn't know if this was what she wanted. She feels that 10 years down the line we would probably be married and miserable and she said she wasn't prepared to take that risk. I hate myself for not treating her as well as I should have done. She is wonderful, absolutely gorgeous and she was my best friend. I on the othr hand am not really a catch. I don't think I'll ever find anyone, yet alone have what we had again. She is the kind of girl who people drop at her feet. I'm sure she probably already has someone else, but I don't want to know. When we broke up, I asked if she was sure this was what she wanted. She said no, not 100%. But she needs to know for sure, needed time. She said she still loved me, and probably always will but that's probably not enough. But I think that's not the case anymore. I think she's well and truly over us, and it hurts like hell. But what hurts the most is that I was given a second chance at it and I blew it. I feel so stupid. I miss her so much. I feel weak, nothing interests me. I've been going out, and have had some good nights, but nothing compares to the times we used to go out and I just don't know what to do. I hate myself for the way I treated her. Sorry that was so long.
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hi, im 18 and in college......a girl added me on myspace and we started talking online (instant messaging) the first night we talked for only 2 hours or so becasue it was late and she needed to goto bed....the second day, i came home from school , ate dinner, and started talking to her from 5:00 till 12:00 non-stop....for 7 hours we talked and talked about god knows what...i honestly dont remember....we had a such a great time talking online we decided to meet in person. since she goes to the same college we meet up in a common place at school...i was walking her to work..right down the road...and descided since we hit it off so well i should try and kiss her....she didnt seem to mind at first but pulled away quickly....when i got home she messaged me and told me she didnt want to goto the movies the next day like we had planed....after a while of talking she admited that she got "Freaked out" because of the kiss and she changed her mind.....i took her to the movies(friday) and we hung out afterwards for about 3 hours(Didnt make any move)....the second "Date"(tuesday) we w're supposed to goto the movies again...but she canceled Literaly last minute ...she said she had a stomach ache...and i told her that we wouldnt be able to hang out till about 8 more days because of my job and school....she later imed me and went to play pool and we hung out afterwards for a few hours also(Didnt make any move). ...just today(wednesday) i was texting with her when i was at work and i asked her if we could hang out in thursday...she said she couldnt(No reason given)...then i confirmed what i already knew by asking if she had plans for friday(she told me before that she did..just making sure and she said she had plans but would visit me at work because she would be in the area...then i asked about sunday even tho she knew i had plans witha friend thta i told her i was willing to cancel.... later today i came home and she messaged me tell me that she dosnt want a relationship and shes nota comitment person.... i dont believe her...i think i just texted her to many times and came of as "Clingy"? i dont want that to be the end..she still said she'd hang out with me...but i want a relationship because iv never felt like this twoards any other girl... how can i get her to be attracted to me again? By the way...sorry for the long post...i just wanted everyone to know the entire store ..
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Hey Everybody- As some of you might know, I am going through a really tough time after thinking that my ex gf wanted a second chance. If I had any girl that i wanted a second chance, she was the one. She was "the one that got away". Anyhow I was sitting alone tonight and for the first time in awhile I was able to bring a smile to my face. I thought to myself that although i am heartbroken and was lead on to believe that my ex still loved me, I am ever so happy that I was capable of loving someone so very much. That I got to experience true love. What is TRUE LOVE?????????????? True Love for me is- Spending all day and night sitting by your grandmothers hospital bed as she is fighting cancer. Being so tired that you can barely see straight but still managing to send your ex a text asking how her dog is because you know that she loves her more than anything. True love is holding your crying sister because my dads drinking is taering apart the family but still manage to wonder if your ex is doing ok after her car wreck. True love is counting the number of taxis that go by at the airport as you wait for your ex to pick you up. Even though you have not seen her for over 2 years, the butterflies in your stomach keep you from sitting still. True love is when nomatter how hurt I feel right now and how heartbroken I am, I only hope that my ex is happy with whatever she is doing right now.. I hope that everyone here got to experience that love I had for my ex. Although I am not with her nor will I ever be, I am ever so thankfull that I learned that I am capable of loving one so deeply. -
Hello, Here is the background on my situation: Things seem to be going pretty good and indications SEEM to be going in a positive direction, however I do get confused at times. It has been two weeks since our breakup, our initial talks of giving it a second chance and the subsequent attempt at it. We see each other almost daily. She has noticed a change in my attitude (granted it has only been two weeks) and my question is this: I've asked her the other day, "do you want to give it a second go?" and she responded "I don't know". She says that I still need to prove to her tha I have infact turned from my neglectful ways. My problem is that it is frustrating. She can be very loving one day, and very cold the next...especially when I am around her friends. My feeling is that, they knew I wasn't treating her right and by showing any feeling towards me would upset them or dissappoint them...which I understand. Has enough time passed that she should be giving me a second chance if that is her intention? Or am I expecting things to soon? Naturally, I don't expect her to jump right back in to how things were before...I dont expect her to move back in with me. I'd only ask to be given the chance to continue to show her that I've learned from my mistakes, as her boyfriend. I have told her this and how I feel and her response was "I don't know, I'm confused". In summary... Is it too soon to expect what I do? Am I a victim of being a backup plan to a bad day? Thanks, ILP
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Here it is : - going out for 3 1/2 yrs - bf cheated once because too drunk at college - he doesn't remember anything but knows for sure it happened - love him very much - he confessed right away - this is totally not like him - he feels really guilty - I told him I was ready to give him a second chance (last one) because I love him so much. Can we ever be like we were before? Can our relationship last and be healthy? Please just give me your general opinion on this
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i am soo confused. my recent ex (jack) split up with me because i failed to tell him that my ex (jason) before him tried to rape me. i was devastated and dropped the case against jason because i couldnt cope and i started self harming. i was beginning to console myself, kept telling myself that it is time to move on and just concentrate on other things. jack called me 2 nights ago and is saying that he was out of line for leaving me like that and that he is sorry. ive been messed around soo much i dont know if i should give him another chance or not. i dont want to get hurt again but i still care about him. i am meeting him today after work to set the record straight but im worried. i love him but how can i guarantee he wont do that to me again? should i give him a second chance?
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Forgive me in advance if this is a really long post but I really need some objective feedback. I have been dating M for about 6 months now. We have had a great relationship, but there's been this nagging sense in the back of my mind saying 'be careful'. Anyway, early August he was supposed to come over my place but didn't call or didn't show. I tried to call but couldn't get him. After a while, I remembered that he'd left his old cell phone in my car, so I went to get it and get his friend E's # to see if M was with him. Anyway, as I was looking for the number, I came accross a text message he'd sent to this girl saying something like "if you don't want to talk to me I understand; my feelings won't be hurt". I, of course, blew my top, called the girl 'cause I still couldn't reach him and found out that he'd approached her at school and they'd been talking for a week. About 2 weeks later, he left his cell at my house and he got a text msg from a girl accusing him of trying to hook up with her BFF and saying 'she doesn't want my leftovers'. Of course, I talked to the girl and found out that M had been introduced to her by a cousin of hers and they'd hooked up once (kissing) and had been talking on and off for about a month. The night before he'd been texting her BFF throughout the night. Of course, both times this happened I drilled him and we fought, didn't talk for a while etc. After the last time, I said to him that the only way that our relationship had any chance of surviving he'd have to be perfectly honest with me about what he'd been doing. Basically, it turns out that over the course of our relationship he's been carrying on what I call 'phone affairs' with a few other girls. In my mind, it's infidelity even if there's no physical contact (other than the one girl) and I am really struggling with this. The other HUGE piece of this is that I am pregnant from M, which he's known about since the day I found out. My question is how to proceed. I am NOT one of those needy, codependent types that tolerates a whole bunch of crap from a man but I am having a hard time letting go. I do love him and he's a fabulous person (other than being a cheater!! LOL). I don't NEED him to be in my life, as I am highly accomplished and can take care of the baby on my own just fine. Should I give him another chance? He's very repentant and trying hard to make changes but I still don't trust him and feel like if he's done it before, he'll do it again. I don't know if love is enough a reason to stay with someone who has lied, cheated and betrayed the woman he claims to love (and the child she's carrying). What do you think?
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Im sorry this is so long.. It all started two days ago when I finally decided to stop calling (chasing) him like so many of you on here suggested. He would always act cold and annoyed when we would speak on the phone before, and yet when he called me as soon as that night, there was a different tone to his voice, softer, happier. So after the night that I decided to stop calling him, after we hung up I felt better about myself, about the relationship, about my choices. The next day (day before yesterday), I again did not call him/contact him once, and was discouraged, depressed and desperate again, because he wasn't calling me. I was falling back into the same pain that had been killing me since the ordeal started. I once again felt I HAD to call him, had to chase him, but I went on here instead and spoke to friends, and at around 11:30 PM he called me. I could tell he wondered why I hadnt called him all day, and again he sounded calm and happier. Then, out of the blue, he asked me "so what are we doing this weekend?", which caught me completely off guard, since a few days before when I was begging him to see me he told me not to pressure him, that he didnt know, that he would see me when he felt like it and i was making it worse. So in a state of shock I said I don't know but i want to figure things out before we do anything, which I think discouraged him and he hung up to take a shower. He called me before he went to sleep last night about and hour later and I told him this weekend sounded great, and goodnight. Well, yesterday rolls along, and im expecting the same thing, no calls until late etc... when all of a sudden, ten minutes after I get out of work he calls me and asks me if I would please see him today, and I said I would, but that I had to go home and do some things first. So we agreed, talked about some light things, and we hung up. On my way there I was so nervous, I didnt know what to expect, what to say, what to do, but I decided to let him call the shots, HE wanted to SEE me, so its up to him, I want going to push anything, I was fine waiting until the weekend. So I get there, we hug, and we act like friends for about the first hour. Then we ate, and he said "lets talk". So we did, and im not going to get into details because this post is long enough but we basically asked each other what bothered us each about each other/the relationship that caused us to fight all the time, and we apologized to each other and promised to try as hard as we could to stop the things that turned our little disagreements into huge, painful arguments. We promised to treat each other better and speak more respectfully towards each other even though we were upset. We figured out a lot of things last night, and we decided to give it another shot. I am praying that this time we can really be happy, like we were in the beggining, that we can enjoy being with each other, that this will never happen again. And I know its going to be a long road, and I don't know what it will bring, but no one ever does. We are taking a chance, and if in the end, it dosent work out, althouh it would kill me, I will know that we gave it our best shot, and I will be satisfied. This experience has made me grow as a person and taught me that not everything is in my control. That sacrifice and self-respect can make a world of difference and that good people can lift you up and guide you when you cant do it yourself. Thank you all for the amazing advice you have given me on here. You have no idea the impact your advice has made on me and my relationship. When this all first started I was so lost, so empty, and so desperate... and slowly, day by day, all of your kind words and good advice (although "tough love" at times) lifted me up more and more. I thought I would never be able to get through this and come out a better person, more mature, and more prepared for what life hands me, and yet I have with your help and the help of those close to me. All of you are wonderful people and life will bring you all the happiness that you deserve, whether it is with the person you were with or someone who will make your life so much better than you ever thought it could be. It's still going to be a long road to getting things back to, no better than how they used to be in my relationship, and I know I still need support to gt through it. I will still be on here every day to help you all, to help myself learn from you all, and to give of myself like you all did to me. I wish you all the very best, don't settle for anything else. Thank you especially to: sillygurl, LostAngel, Lealing, Viper62382, mysteriousGIRL, lozic21, rose2summer, robowarrior, jman311, loveisaparadox, dogheadma, shelly7, Irishman, menotyou, candy604 you all made a world of difference...I can only hope i can do the same for all of you
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