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About Me

  1. Key Takeaways: Distinguishing pansexuality and bisexuality Understanding gender's role in attraction Addressing common misconceptions Embracing diversity in sexuality Supportive resources for individuals Understanding the Spectrum The landscape of human sexuality is vast and varied, encompassing a spectrum of identities and preferences. In recent years, terms like "pansexual" and "bisexual" have gained prominence, offering new perspectives and understanding of sexual attraction. This article delves into the nuances of these identities, aiming to clarify, inform, and support individuals in their journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of human identity, evolving over time and influenced by personal, cultural, and societal factors. The concept of being attracted to more than one gender isn't new, but the ways we understand and discuss it have transformed significantly. This transformation has led to a richer, more inclusive conversation about the spectrum of sexuality. Understanding the differences between pansexuality and bisexuality is crucial, not just for those who identify with these terms, but for anyone seeking a deeper comprehension of human sexuality. It challenges traditional notions of attraction and encourages a more fluid and open perspective. In exploring these identities, it's important to recognize that each person's experience is unique. While labels can be helpful in finding community and self-expression, they can also oversimplify the rich tapestry of human emotions and connections. Therefore, this exploration is not about fitting people into boxes, but about understanding the diverse ways in which people experience attraction. As we journey through this exploration, we will delve into historical perspectives, societal impacts, and personal narratives. These elements collectively shed light on how pansexual and bisexual identities are perceived, experienced, and represented in today's society. By the end of this introduction, readers will have a foundational understanding of the complexity and fluidity of human sexuality, setting the stage for a deeper dive into the specific concepts of pansexuality and bisexuality. Defining Pansexuality: A Comprehensive Overview Pansexuality, often described as the attraction to people regardless of their gender, represents a distinct and inclusive approach to understanding human sexuality. This section aims to demystify pansexuality, offering insights into what it means to identify as pansexual in today's world. The term 'pansexual' comes from the Greek prefix 'pan-', meaning 'all.' Thus, pansexuality is often interpreted as an attraction that transcends traditional gender boundaries. This does not imply a lack of preferences or standards; rather, it signifies that gender is not a determining factor in a pansexual individual's attraction to others. One of the key aspects of pansexuality is its emphasis on emotional connection over gender identity. Pansexual individuals often describe their attraction as rooted in a person's personality, energy, or connection, rather than their gender identity or expression. In discussing pansexuality, it's crucial to address common misconceptions. One such misconception is that pansexuality is simply a 'phase' or a refusal to choose a more defined sexual orientation. In reality, pansexuality is a legitimate and deeply felt identity for many. Another important aspect to consider is the representation and visibility of pansexual individuals. In media and popular culture, pansexuality is often less represented compared to other sexual orientations. This lack of visibility can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of isolation for those who identify as pansexual. As we conclude this overview, it's important to remember that the pansexual experience, like all aspects of human sexuality, is diverse and personal. Recognizing and respecting this diversity is key to understanding and embracing the full spectrum of human sexuality. Exploring Bisexuality: Identity and Attraction Bisexuality is an orientation often defined by the potential for attraction to more than one gender. This section aims to provide a deeper understanding of what it means to be bisexual, exploring the complexities and nuances of bisexual identity and attraction. Historically, bisexuality has been subject to misconceptions and stereotypes, some of which persist to this day. A prevalent myth is the belief that bisexuality is a transitional phase between heterosexuality and homosexuality, rather than a distinct and stable identity. Dispelling these myths is crucial for a proper understanding of bisexuality. Bisexuality encompasses a wide range of attractions. For some, it means equal attraction to multiple genders, while for others, it may involve varying degrees of attraction to different genders at different times. This fluidity is a natural part of many bisexual individuals' experiences. An essential aspect of bisexual identity is the individual's personal journey of understanding and acceptance. For many, coming to terms with their bisexuality involves overcoming internalized biphobia and societal prejudices. These personal narratives highlight the diversity within the bisexual community. The bisexual community itself is incredibly diverse, including individuals of all genders, backgrounds, and walks of life. This diversity is a strength, offering a wide range of perspectives and experiences within the community. Understanding bisexuality also involves recognizing the unique challenges faced by bisexual individuals. These can include 'bisexual erasure' – the tendency to ignore, dismiss, or deny the existence of bisexuality – and distinct challenges in both heterosexual and LGBTQ+ spaces. Comparing Pansexual and Bisexual Identities When discussing pansexuality and bisexuality, it's essential to acknowledge their similarities and differences. Both identities share a recognition of attraction beyond a single gender, yet they differ in how gender plays a role in attraction. Pansexuality is characterized by an attraction that isn't limited by gender. Pansexual individuals often describe their attraction as being to the person, not their gender. This perspective differs from bisexuality, where gender can be a part of the attraction, albeit not exclusively to one gender. It's important to note that neither pansexuality nor bisexuality is more inclusive or progressive than the other. They are simply different ways individuals experience and understand their attractions. Respecting these differences is key to understanding the diverse landscape of human sexuality. While pansexual and bisexual identities are part of the broader non-monosexual umbrella, they each offer unique perspectives on attraction and identity. Understanding these nuances fosters a more inclusive and empathetic view of the rich diversity of human sexuality. 1. Scope of Attraction The concept of attraction extends far beyond the traditional binary notions of sexuality. In the context of pansexuality and bisexuality, the 'scope of attraction' refers to the range and nature of attractions that individuals experience. This section explores the diversity within these scopes of attraction. For pansexual individuals, the scope of attraction is often described as being gender-blind. This means that their attraction to others is not limited by or specifically focused on the gender identity of the person. Instead, it encompasses a broader spectrum, where personality, connection, and other factors play a more significant role. In contrast, for bisexual individuals, the scope of attraction includes multiple genders, but not necessarily all. The way bisexuality is experienced can vary greatly among individuals. Some may find themselves equally attracted to different genders, while others may experience fluctuating preferences over time. This variability in attraction within both pansexuality and bisexuality highlights the fluid nature of human sexuality. It challenges rigid definitions and opens up a conversation about the complexity and individuality of sexual attraction. Understanding the scope of attraction also involves acknowledging societal influences. Cultural norms and personal experiences can shape how individuals understand and express their attractions. This societal aspect is crucial in considering the personal journey of those identifying as pansexual or bisexual. Ultimately, the scope of attraction in both pansexuality and bisexuality is a testament to the diversity of human experiences. Recognizing and respecting this diversity is key to fostering a more inclusive and understanding society. 2. The Role of Gender in Attraction The role of gender in attraction is a central aspect of understanding the differences between pansexuality and bisexuality. Gender can influence attraction in various ways, shaping how individuals perceive and connect with others. In pansexuality, gender is generally seen as irrelevant to attraction. Pansexual individuals often emphasize that they are attracted to a person's qualities and essence rather than their gender identity. This perspective challenges traditional views of gender as a primary factor in attraction. For bisexual individuals, gender may play a more significant role in attraction, but it is not exclusive. Bisexuality acknowledges attraction to more than one gender, though the specific nature of this attraction can differ from person to person. For some, gender may be a part of the attraction, while for others, it might be less significant. This difference in how gender influences attraction underlines the importance of not making assumptions about an individual's preferences based on their sexual orientation. Just as every person is unique, so too is the way they experience attraction. It's also important to consider how societal norms and gender roles impact the expression of attraction. The way society views gender can influence how people understand their own sexuality and how they relate to others. While gender plays a varying role in pansexual and bisexual attractions, the key is to understand and respect each individual's unique experience and perspective. This understanding fosters a more inclusive and empathetic view of sexuality. 3. Historical Perspectives and Evolution The understanding of sexual orientations, including pansexuality and bisexuality, has evolved significantly over time. This historical perspective provides insight into how these identities have been perceived and the progress made towards acceptance and understanding. In many ancient cultures, the concept of attraction was not limited by modern definitions of sexuality. Historical texts and artifacts suggest a more fluid understanding of attraction, often inclusive of relationships that today would fall under the pansexual or bisexual categories. The rise of modern psychology and sociology brought new terminologies and frameworks for understanding human sexuality. However, these early models often adhered to a binary understanding of attraction, overlooking or misinterpreting non-monosexual orientations like bisexuality and pansexuality. The latter half of the 20th century witnessed a pivotal shift. The LGBTQ+ rights movement brought increased visibility and advocacy for a broader spectrum of sexual orientations, challenging existing norms and stereotypes. This era marked a significant step in recognizing and validating the experiences of pansexual and bisexual individuals. Today, the conversation continues to evolve, with a growing understanding and acceptance of diverse sexual orientations. The historical journey of pansexuality and bisexuality underscores the importance of continuing education and advocacy in the pursuit of a more inclusive society. 4. Common Misconceptions and Stereotypes Misconceptions and stereotypes about pansexuality and bisexuality are prevalent, often leading to misunderstandings and stigmatization. Addressing these misconceptions is crucial for fostering a more accurate and empathetic understanding of these identities. A common misconception is that bisexuality and pansexuality are just phases, or that individuals identifying with these orientations are confused or indecisive. This belief undermines the legitimacy of these orientations as valid and stable aspects of one's identity. Another stereotype is the idea that pansexual or bisexual individuals are more likely to be unfaithful or promiscuous. This unfounded assumption perpetuates harmful myths about non-monosexual orientations and overlooks the reality of individual differences in relationship styles and preferences. There is also a tendency to conflate pansexuality and bisexuality, assuming they are the same. While they share similarities, as previously discussed, there are distinct differences in how individuals experience and define their attractions. For bisexual individuals, the concept of 'bisexual erasure' is a significant issue. This term refers to the tendency to ignore or deny the existence of bisexuality, either by assuming bisexual individuals are either heterosexual or homosexual based on their current relationship. Similarly, pansexual individuals often face a lack of visibility and recognition, both in mainstream society and within the LGBTQ+ community. This invisibility can lead to feelings of isolation and a lack of support. By challenging these misconceptions and stereotypes, we can move towards a more inclusive and understanding perspective of pansexuality and bisexuality, recognizing the rich diversity within these identities. 5. Personal Narratives: Diverse Experiences Personal narratives provide powerful insights into the lived experiences of pansexual and bisexual individuals. These stories highlight the diversity and uniqueness of each person's journey in understanding and embracing their identity. For many pansexual individuals, their narrative often involves a journey of self-discovery, breaking away from traditional notions of attraction and gender. These stories frequently emphasize the importance of emotional connections over gender identity. Bisexual individuals often share stories of navigating a world that frequently operates on a binary understanding of sexuality. Their experiences might include challenges in finding acceptance within both heterosexual and LGBTQ+ communities, as well as within themselves. Both pansexual and bisexual narratives often include themes of overcoming stereotypes and misconceptions, advocating for visibility, and the ongoing process of defining and redefining their sexual identity. These personal stories also touch on the importance of community and support. Finding others with shared experiences can be a crucial part of the journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment for many pansexual and bisexual individuals. Some narratives highlight the intersectionality of sexuality with other aspects of identity, such as race, culture, and gender identity. These intersections play a significant role in shaping the experiences and perspectives of pansexual and bisexual individuals. Ultimately, these personal narratives underscore the rich tapestry of human sexuality. They remind us that each individual's story is unique and that understanding and respecting these differences is key to fostering an inclusive society. Challenges Faced by Pansexual and Bisexual Individuals While there has been significant progress in the acceptance of diverse sexual orientations, pansexual and bisexual individuals still face unique challenges. Understanding these challenges is essential for providing appropriate support and advocacy. One of the primary challenges is the aforementioned 'bisexual erasure' and the invisibility often experienced by pansexual individuals. This lack of recognition can lead to feelings of isolation and a lack of representation in both media and LGBTQ+ discourse. Another challenge is the stigma and misconceptions surrounding these orientations. Stereotypes about promiscuity, indecision, and infidelity can lead to discrimination and misunderstanding in both personal and professional contexts. Additionally, pansexual and bisexual individuals often navigate complex dynamics in relationships and community interactions. They may face skepticism or lack of acceptance from partners, peers, and even within some LGBTQ+ spaces, complicating their journey towards self-acceptance and community integration. Support and Resources for Pansexual and Bisexual People Support and resources are crucial for pansexual and bisexual individuals in navigating their identities and facing unique challenges. This section provides information on available resources and ways to find support. One key resource is LGBTQ+ organizations and support groups. Many cities and communities have groups specifically for bisexual and pansexual individuals, offering a space for sharing experiences and gaining support. Online communities also play a vital role, especially for those in areas with limited local resources. Educational materials and literature can also be invaluable. Books, articles, and online content that focus on pansexual and bisexual experiences help in understanding and validating these identities. They also serve as tools for educating others, fostering a more inclusive environment. Mental health support is another critical resource. Counseling and therapy services that are knowledgeable about and sensitive to non-monosexual orientations can provide essential guidance and support, particularly in dealing with issues like internalized biphobia and societal pressures. Lastly, advocacy and visibility efforts are vital. Engaging in or supporting advocacy work for pansexual and bisexual rights and visibility can lead to broader societal change and greater acceptance. This advocacy also includes challenging stereotypes and misconceptions in everyday life. FAQs: Answering Your Questions FAQ sections are designed to address common questions and clarify misconceptions about pansexuality and bisexuality. Here are some frequently asked questions and their answers. Question: What is the main difference between pansexuality and bisexuality? Answer: The main difference lies in the role of gender in attraction. Pansexuality is characterized by attraction regardless of gender, while bisexuality involves attraction to more than one gender, but gender can still play a role. Question: Can a person's sexual orientation change over time? Answer: Sexual orientation can be fluid for some individuals. It's important to understand that changes in how a person identifies do not invalidate their current or past experiences of attraction. Question: Are pansexual and bisexual individuals more likely to be unfaithful? Answer: No. This is a common misconception. Faithfulness is a personal characteristic and is not determined by sexual orientation. Question: How can I support a friend who identifies as pansexual or bisexual? Answer: Supporting a friend involves listening, educating yourself on their experiences, and being an advocate against biphobia and misconceptions. Respect and validate their identity as you would any other. Conclusion: Embracing Diversity and Inclusivity The exploration of pansexual and bisexual identities reveals a rich tapestry of human experiences and emotions. This journey highlights the importance of embracing diversity and inclusivity in our understanding of sexuality. Recognizing the unique challenges and experiences of pansexual and bisexual individuals is not just about tolerance; it's about celebrating and valuing the varied ways in which people experience love and attraction. This recognition is crucial for building a society that respects and upholds the dignity of every individual. As we move forward, it is essential to continue advocating for visibility, understanding, and acceptance of all sexual orientations. This includes challenging stereotypes, offering support, and promoting education on these topics. The conversation around sexuality is ever-evolving. As new understandings emerge, it's important to remain open and adaptable, willing to learn and grow in our perspectives. This openness is key to fostering a community that is truly inclusive and welcoming to all. Embracing diversity and inclusivity in sexuality enriches our society, allowing people to express their true selves freely and without fear. It is a step towards a more empathetic, understanding, and compassionate world. The exploration of pansexuality and bisexuality is more than a discussion about sexual orientation; it's a dialogue about human rights, respect, and love. By embracing the full spectrum of human sexuality, we open our hearts to a wider world of experiences and perspectives, enriching our own lives and those of others. Further Reading and References For those interested in deepening their understanding of pansexuality and bisexuality, a wealth of resources is available. This section lists books, articles, and websites that offer valuable insights and information. Books such as "Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution" by Shiri Eisner and "The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality" by Julie Sondra Decker provide in-depth looks at non-monosexual orientations, including bisexuality and pansexuality. Academic articles and journals also offer a wealth of information. Journals like the "Journal of Bisexuality" provide peer-reviewed articles on various topics related to bisexual and pansexual experiences and issues. Websites like The Bisexual Resource Center (biresource.org) and Pansexual Pride (pansexualpride.org) offer online resources, community forums, and educational materials for those seeking more information or support. Lastly, following LGBTQ+ news outlets and platforms can provide current insights and developments in the conversation surrounding pansexuality and bisexuality, keeping readers informed and engaged with the ongoing dialogue in the community.
  2. Me & my ex was together for 3 years , during that time it was perfect in the beginning but I'm ngl I had a pill habit & when I tried to go into a year long rehab the first time she just switched up on me.i left after 3 days & she wasn't happy to see me she was drunk out all night acting different.she treated me like SH*T!! She would tell me she loves me & love balm me but then disappear for weeks barely text back then come back home love balm me again sleep, eat ,get treated like a princess then do the same thing all over again.long story short she ended up pregnant. convinced me to be around & accept the baby, the baby was born still born(dead).She was never the same.Then on new years she just went out and started her bull crap again.tellin me she loves me lying about her wear abouts getting drunk all day being in guys cars & being half naked twerking on social media she's a real exotic looking girl so she gets ALOT of attention. She would always play w/ my head while I'm sitting at home crying in the dark watching every single thing she post online, she would post about guys & then tell me to my face she posted it "just to post it" or "to get me mad" & I was the only person she loves she just needed space . I finally went into rehab to get myself together ,promised I wouldnt talk to her ever again & didn't tell her anything just disappeared..she started harassing my family & they would tell me whenever I called home.i finally called her to tell her I'm fine and to leave me alone & she said how torn she was without me.she started sending me money & saying how she's happy for me & wants to be together when I get out.i knew it was a bad idea & she wouldn't change. When I got out she was acting so perfect & trying to be home everyday but I knew it was an act & it was probably because she was all burned out from drinking & wanted someone to provide for her and take care of her like a princess until she's ready to hit the streets again. So I left after 2 days and she was blowing me up saying she cooked something special for me & etc I just ignored it.we start talking again & she says she doesn't speak to anyone but has a stalker she slept w once & he stalks her everywhere she goes. We would stay in a hotel for 2/3 weeks then she would disappear but i wouldn't care because I was focusing on myself even tho apart of me was hurt that she didn't want to be committed even after I got clean. So we kept seeing eachother off & on.then one day I go to pick her up & as she's walking to the car saying "babeeee" a guy pops out from behind a car and says"babe? Oh yeah b*tch" ,so I'm thinking this must be the stalker.. he starts chasing my car and I'm laughing at him then he goes to smack her & attack her..they walk off & go upstairs to her sister house. I stick around to make sure everything's ok.i see him walking & I'm like "ur that crazy after just f*ckin one time d*mn" & he replies "one time? I'm w that b*tch everyday she's pregnant w/ my baby right now" so I'm like ***.. he gets in my car and saying drive I'm like no ,so he can attack me plus he was staring at my chain..so she comes down w/ her sister and she's like get out my n*ggas car and the police show up.i said ur pregnant? & She says no I lied to get abortion money from him. Her sister is like"this is her baby father" to the police and she was confused to see me.i told her don't lock him up & we left. she stayed w me and was saying she loves me & he means nothing. & She's not pregnant.long story short I found her texting him & wrote him, he sent me baby shower invites & videos of them together showing her belly happy to be together. I showed her and said u lied? She goes "that's none of your business if I'm pregnant leave me tf alone". So I left after a big fight. She starts constantly texting me everyday saying she made a mistake I'm the love of her life & she will get an abortion.she did.i still didnt talk to her for weeks.finally I started back talking to her & everything seemed fine.he writes me and says are u with her because she disappeared on him, I said yes ya been talking again? He says yes she was with me all these weeks. So we break up again.long story short we get back together and she says she pregnant BUT THE BABY ISNT HIS and I get mad and she immediately starts texting him. At the same time I'm texting him because he's trying to befriend me, & telling him how I'm mad at her & leaving our home for good packing my things & he's like "yea I haven't been talking to her & I'm arguing with my ex so I'm going to bring my other b*tch to her job to get her mad" .. I get off work the next day and she's gone , moving weird not texting me, whole time she's texting him & I find out months later she was the girl he was bringing to his ex's job & was using me to find out if me & her was on good terms. So he kept trying to hang out with me, so we finally hung out , he was saying how he doesn't care for her he only uses her for sex and money but the entire time he kept checking her Instagram & posting with other girls to get her mad, also we were staying at her sister house. We started comparing our messages with her and saw she would tell us both the same thing at the same times & when she would disappear on both of us she was going to the other one. Me and her finally spoke on the phone and I some how told her what me & him was up too & she was FURIOUS.She started arguing with me him and his sister and was telling him how she wants to be with me and doesn't want him & the baby isn't his & etc. So we start talking AGAIN(WHILE SHES PREGNANT) & she's telling me it isn't his.but the whole time we together she seems off like she really wanted him & now she's pregnant she wants to be w him & is confused. So he stops talking to me I guess getting mad she keeps coming back to me and tired of me.she starts moving weird and saying she has an appointment and she'll be back even tho she said she wanted me to go w her the day before. She starts ignoring me and showing him so much attention on social media "I love my baby father he's so sexy I'm so obsessed" I tell her I knew she was with him and she blocks me everywhere telling him she only told me he isn't the dad to keep me around because I treat her nice and he treats her bad.i accepted the fact they started a new life. After around 2 months she starts texting me saying she made a mistake writing paragraphs but I would never answer.i would check her TikTok from an unblocked page I had and she would be crying saying he's treating her bad and sleeps with other women kept going back to his ex that he calls his wife and is disrespecting her while pregnant. He got evicted out of his house & they were no longer living together. Around 6 months later she calls me crying saying he's been beating her and cheating and punched her in the stomach trying to kill the baby. Stays with me for 2 months, trying to find apartments with me planning a future tells me he doesn't want me around the baby he hates me and he said he treated her this way while pregnant because all the stuff she did to him with me ,& really likes her in the beginning & could never trust her again.i get into her face book and see she's been telling him she hasn't been talking to anyone he's making sure she hasn't been with me saying they love eachother planning to go down south with his family and raise the baby and basically they can't be together because they have no house to be in. she changes her password so I know she knows I saw it.i hide this info from her still and go to Atlanta while she babysits my house.while in atlanta I tell her what I saw and she says she talks to him that way to keep him calm so he doesn't flip out , and I texted him telling him everything & how his child will be safe with me plus how she is still saying he isn't the dad and he was acting like he hates me saying "I'm her baby father we're stuck for life give it a rest she will always come back to me" & how he left his wife alone so he can focus on his child and she can't have a reason to keep him from his kid & he doesn't want me around the baby & it's always drama. So I knew I can never be an adult with him and talk to him again.she screams at me thru text and writes a paragraph as if she was going to screenshot it to him saying I'm trying to ruin their family and etc & then began being nice to me again.they kept arguing. Finally the baby was born and even tho she said he wouldn't be in the room he was there and she was treating me so different texting extremely late, said she would facetime me the entire time but wouldn't answer my calls,but was still planning a future with me sending me photos of rings even tho she would answer like once a day. So I started replying back hours later and she gets mad & says" ur mad he's here to watch his baby born Idk what to tell u or u can just leave me alone I don't need this I'm in labor & etc, I told her I will drop her cat off to Her dad and we never spoke again. I wrote her about 10 days later asking her why did she sign me out of her Hulu account i paid for and she said she didn't with attitude. I knew she was around him..So I said "are u mad at me? She says no I just didn't like what u did by writing him blah blah that's how I knew he got into her head and she was with him I just didn't know how they were together if he was homeless and her mom doesn't let any guys in the house EVER. AND then she starts telling me she wants to see me and a bunch of bull crap & she's Going thru post partum. Then I write her "are u feeling better?" She never answers .. so I said I will leave u alone for good, goodbye & she says please don't it's not me , so she says if I choose u will u accept my baby n etc & I say why are u asking this? Because you've been thinking who to chose she says yes because I see he's getting serious now that the baby is here and everytime I think of my future I think of us and when u text me about Hulu I got the old feelings back and he saw u text me and got mad & said he has his ex wife blocked and I'm still texting u and she told him well I didn't tell u block her and he says it's the principal and started treating her mean.he saw her texting me again and said I'm going to text my ex now and she said she would have a talk w him & they agreed they would both go back to their ex's. Now the next day she's leaving to come to my house & he pops out of nowhere and says"where tf u think u taking my daughter" and when she tried to stop him he says let her go before I punch u in the face b*tch & she didn't want to squeeze a 2 week old baby hard so she let the baby go. I knew it was something because she wasn't respond .she was chasing him in the street while he's holding the baby and she's pushing the stroller I said he wants her so bad let him take her and u come and she was HYSTERICAL, CRYING SAYING IDK WHERE MY BABY IS IM SCARED.. AND Im like if u was that scared u would've called the police .. and she was telling me how he's getting serious and saying she can sleep w random men but can't talk to me and I'm like that's because he knows u love me and wants to control u .if u get serious with anyone else he will do the same thing. So he sent a photo saying he left the baby in the streets and to find her and was screaming on the phone she cannot be with me and shes like but why i thought u was going back to ur ex and he said because it's always drama and whenever ya argue she text me and I don't want her texting me. I said that's a lie hes afraid to say he wants u to himself first it was he doesn't want me around the baby now the baby isn't around and it's still a problem. So he's saying he left the baby in the precinct then he has a girl answer his phone taunting her saying the baby in the precinct .so she starts telling him she loves him and doesn't want to fight "just to find out where he is" she's telling me how this is crazy and she will never talk to him again. I tell her just go home and wait for him & she said when he brings her she will have the police escort her to a taxi to my house,telling me she wants to get married and loves me and planning so much stuff with me. He brings the baby the next morning.she says" ok we're going to custody court on Monday we worked out an agreement & he's going to stay here for a couple hours w the baby" I said he just had the baby *** why does he need to stay & I thought ur dad doesn't let anyone spend the night she's like " what's the problem he wants to spend time with his child I'm not doing this with u" & I leave her there.. I tried calling her she kept declining it then turned her phone off , then I started calling back to back she blocks me then had answered it but had it on mute so i know he told her to answer it and see who is calling her.then had him answer the phone so I had my brother get on & she's like why are u doing this I know it's u stop calling me I'm spending time with my baby leave me alone. I was angry so I called her back to back private just to annoy her & she Kept turning her phone off. She lied and said he can't spend the night but he's been there all these days ,she disrespected me & talked about me Infront of him making it seem like I don't want him around his kid to stroke his ego & I know she's talking so bad about me trying to make me seem delusional and she doesn't want me. I stopped calling yesterday and will let her be.but I know for a fact she will soon contact me and try to say she wanted to keep him calm so he doesn't flip out or try to kidnap her kid again. I have no idea what to do.the plan was for her to runaway to my house since he doesn't know where i live then go to custody court but i was afraid he would get the baby and then taunt her.hes always pretending he doesn't love her and only around her for the baby and he loves his ex but I know that he loves her and it's all a front and he wants her to himself especially since the baby is here and he's so In love but I feel like it's a tactic to have somewhere to stay & to be able to control her every move now that he has a kid with her. Its SOOO STRESSFULL, I Can't get anything done,everyone around me tells me to leave her but I just can't..I find no interest in anyone else Im just so attached to her & she started a new life .I can go a couple weeks without talking to her but I will think of her every minute ,over thinking about what their doing hows their life going ,how they will end up, I literally be spaced out thinking.its so draining and depressing ,i know i should leave but it's hard when she keeps coming back.and I have a feeling this time she won't come back because she finally got the baby she always wanted and he gave it to her & he's finally acting like a boyfriend even tho they always say"they're not in a relationship" that's a tactic she uses "if we don't sit down and say we in a relationship then we not" & I always tell her but u move and act like ur in a relationship with people and get mad when they get mad at u for cheating. She says she knows she can't be faithful to him and everytime she looks at him she thinks of how he treated her while pregnant.but I know she only tells me the bad and not the good.iknow she wants to be with him but doesn't want to let me go and at this point I might share her but I know he will never allow that smh..I've read up on narcissist & I swear she's one..im a lesbian btw😔
  3. I (f24) have two really good online friends. I have started to develop feelings for one of them(f23). Both of them live in different countries than me. I’ve told my one friend about my feelings and she has been very supportive of me. The one I like, we constantly flirt with each other but I fear telling her about my feelings. I don’t want to lose either of them as friends. But I also really want to tell her. How would you approach this?
  4. I've identified as bisexual since I was 12 and now im starting to question my sexuality more than ever. We have only been together for a month and he knows im bisexual (im pretty open about it) so I think there won't be an enormous amount of backlash. I told my friend (straight) about the situation and he said that he's very dissapointed in me since im basically leading him on and frankly that's the truth and I believe that I am the bad guy in this situation. I've been stressing out on how to break the news to my boyfriend for over 2-3 weeks.
  5. Hello everyone, I’ve recently reconnected with my ex girlfriend after 15 years. I broke up with her when I was 17, because it was really hard to see her due to her overbearing father. I really want to be with her and start a family. She still looks at me differently than any other woman on earth. She turns into a little girl when we are together. I can truly tell she loves me, but she won’t admit it or deny it. and I believe that it’s because she hasn’t been with a man in 10 years. She told me today that me asking her to be with me was adding a lot of pressure in her life, and that I don’t know her anymore because she has changed. I told her that the pressure was because she has to step out of her comfort zone in order to be with me, and it wasn’t completely biological. All she said was “ Wow” after that, and stopped texting. I know it’s a lot of stress when dealing with her identity, but I believe that there should be more relief that we’ve reconnected, than pressure. I would give anything to be with her, even after all these years. I’m just not sure what to do…
  6. hey again....ok since no one answered to my first one...im gonna ask soemthing else...im a girl, and i sometimes feel attracted to girls, i liek guys too i mean i have a boyfriend but sometimes i just have an urge to make out with a girl, it just feels so much sexier and it makes me feel sexy...am i bisexual or is it just a fantasy? just thought i would add that i have kissed a girl...4 girls actually thats wut made me love it!!...but i just dont knwo if its somehting i do for fun or if its something i do cuz it´s ME...??
  7. Dear all, I've been reading a lot of the posts here but there is so much info that I really don't know what to think of bisexuality. I am hetero and I met my boyfriend 1/2 year ago, he immediately told me he was bisexual. Bisexuality was something new for me, but I really thought it wouldn't be a problem for me. When I just knew about it, I did read some info on the internet about it because I'm quite a careful when it comes to dating. I read that many bi-sexual people fall in love because they go for the person, whether male or female. I thought this was a beautiful idea so I didn't give it anymore thought. After a few months we started to get problems. Initially about something unrelated. I am 9 years older (32 and he 23) and I had very serious doubts if there was any future for us with such an age difference. Obviously he doesn't want any children for a long time. I am just fine without for now but I would like to have children in the future and I have to consider my age. He is a very passionate person, he was very much in love with me, and he was very offended by me expressing my doubts. He felt I was not taking him seriously as a boyfriend, and that I saw him as a 'fling'. Nevertheless we couldn't let go of eachother, but we both knew after this conversation that our relationship was likely to be doomed. Because of this we became less inhibited to talk freely about our thoughts with respect to other relationships. Initially I thought he identified himself as a bisexual man quite confidently, but then I found out that he actually feels quite "confused". He told me that after being with his ex-girlfriend for 3 years, he broke up with her because he wanted a man. But when he is with a man for a longer time, he wants a woman. He experimented with men for a while, and then had a boyfriend for 2 months. He told me he broke up with him because he felt sexually frustrated with this boyfriend. Btw. he never had anal sex with these men - maybe that's why? He went back to his ex-girlfriend for a little while, this ended because he had to move to another city and then we met eachother. During our relationship, I think he also had urges to be with men but I know he never acted on it. Well, as you can guess it has made me feel very insecure and I'm actually a very confident person generally. When I hang out with gay friends, I always have a great time. But when I'm with my boyfriend in a place where there are gays, I feel very insecure. I cannot help it, I know I can never compete with a man. And I wonder if he might be gay without realising. I am afraid I will be one of those women who is left by their boyfriend because he has discovered he is really gay. Last time he told me he was going to write an end dissertation for his studies about bisexuality. In the end he is going to do it about homosexual behaviour among certain animals. Immediately, I think..o god...maybe he is not bi but gay and so on.. it's stupid, I see he is very passionate about me, we have great sex, but I feel insecure with all these things.. is it in my head?
  8. I have been with this man for 1 year and 5 months. My son and I moved in with him last June 06. My first inclination he might be bisexual was when he told me watching two guys made him h.... I asked him if he had ever been with another guy, he said no. Now, we started watching porn together and I noticed he went for the gay and tranny porn. That made me bring it up again and he said no he wasn't bi. Recently, he admitted he had a year long relationship with a man, before me. He says he loves me, wants to get married. I seem to think he still is interested in men because of the signs he shows. I don't want to continue the relationship if there is any doubt. I would appreciate any thoughts on this matter. It would be very helpful. Thanks!!!
  9. Everyone ask himself/herself the question at least once in his/her life. Am I straight, bi or homo ? It is easy for me to conclude that: I`ve always been attracted to women. Recently, however, I have developped a new interogation on my orientation. I would see myself make friendly contact and live with a man and to love him without having any sexual relation with him. So, what can that possibly mean ? I am wondering in between bisexuality and being surprisingly open minded. Could you clarify me this thing, please ?
  10. I hope I'm not offending anyone here but for awhile I've sort of been wondering about this guy me & my friend know sexual orientation. He's a very nice looking guy. He's nice and lean with a pleasant face, he's also very neat in person and the way he keeps his house. He's been married and had children so I know he's already been in a serious relationship with a woman.. but.... He doesn't really seem eager to have a relationship or really even a steady sexual thing with my female friend. She's been very friendly to him, gave him her phone number, he's invited her down to his place a couple of times. They even went out to eat a time or two, but he's not eager to call her. Nor will he bother to go see her. She says she goes over there and acts very friendly and dresses a bit seductively so he'll make a pass, but they will sit there for hours, she says, just watching television and him not even hardly noticing her or passing a pass or any affection. I've met him and he's very laid back and seems nice.. but he doesn't seem like the pushy type to me. Still.... I can see her frustration. She says they've had sex a few times, (she sort of iniated it the first time), but he never seems eager to contact her to get together to have sex with him, even though she says he seems to really enjoy it at the time. She also says that after sex, he seems withdrawn and even gets dressed right away sometimes, even though she is told him she's attracted to him and indicates she thinks he's very nice looking. She says he's not very affectionate either, except when they are having sex. Do you think that he's just not into her.... or that something else is going on here? She said he also had an incident of ED once, at first, again maybe caused by the medication he takes? I don't want to see her waste her time, because I know she likes him. Is there any way to find out if he might be bisexual without hurting his feelings? I don't know.. but most red-blooded hetersexual men that I know that are given the green light to have sex with a girl, will find no excuse not to have sex with her once he knows she's willing to have sex with him. To her knowledge she also doesn't think he's seeing anyone else either. She says that he works alot of long hours too though, so maybe that is why. I know she's told me that he takes prescription drugs sometimes to stay up at work, so maybe that affects his libido. What do you think men?
  11. Well if some of you who read my other post a few weeks back, it was about how my g/f slept with another female while on a trip out of the country, with another classmate, and told me as soon as she got back. She stated she only did it because i told her i was i was alright with her bisexual views. I never thought her being with another female would enrage me so much so i let her know i felt. She was very sorry for it and begged me for forgiveness, so I forgave her on it because she said she was willing to let go of that side of her and only be interested in me and no1 else and that nothing of that sort would ever happen again. Last weekend, me her and my friend and his gf went away on a ski trip weekend. We had our own cabin. My gf just met these people for the first time. The 2nd night we were there, we all were drinking. My gf started getting a lil loose and blunt. She was acting very happy go lucky and giddy. She started putting her arm around the other girl, acting very friendly with her, acting excited around her company, tickling her, wanting me to take pictures of the two of them. She at one point blurted out, "when i drink or smoke, i get very horny." She even earlier in the evening (before drinking) looked down her pants at the other girls lingerie that she had planned for her bf, but she stated that they were talking about it earlier. I felt very uncomfortable about it at the time, mainly because of what had just taken place a few weeks back. It made me begin wondering if this was the true her, being very close and friendly with other females, especially when under the influence. It made all confused about what she had stated to me after the japan incident, that she wouldnt act that way and was willing to let go of her lesbian ways. The part that concerns me alot is that she acts VERY different when she in under the influence of alcohol as compared to not, even when it comes to the sex between us. Shes alot more open and aggressive even with me in bed when drinking. I didnt say anything during the trip, but when we got back i did bring it up. Then the next day, my friend actually gave me even more info, he said that at one point when i was in the kitchen, she went into the bathroom with the other girl, and asked her "if she was only straight." My friends GF felt very uncomfortable at that point, and clearly said yes she was only straight. She stated that she felt that if she said that she does go both ways, that my gf wouldve pounced on her. After hearing that, i was just enraged. I couldnt believe my ears. I was totally hurt and felt disrespected once again. When i brought it to her attention, she stated that she was just being friendly with her, trying to become friends, and that she had no intentions of anything. She stated that it was just a question out of curiosity, nothing more. She said shes very friendly with females like that all the time, with her mom, sister, cousins, friends, etc. She said she wouldnt ever lie to me, and what she said a few weeks back, she meant. She said she wanted the whole weekend to be for us together, nothing else. She didnt have any thoughts towards anything of that sort. I am in a difficult position to believe her now. I dont know what to do. I dont know how to trust her at this point. A part of me wants to believe her, but a part of me is very hurt and mad. I dont know what to believe at this point. I dont know if my gf is TRULLY capable of fully letting go of her bisexual nature, even if she states she has no interest in anyone but me. She stated last night when we spoke, that she still calls herself bisexual but just says that she doesnt practice it right now. But then she also stated that if her and I were to break up, she would go back to that. This is all is very confusing. I dont know what to tihnk. I cant stand the thought of her being interested in anyone but me At this point, even knowing that the thought might cross her mind enrages me. I dont know if deep down inside, she ever would fully let it go. I get afraid of how she might be if shes drinking, and im not around. BTW, if the whole thing with her and another female didnt happen a few weeks back, i wouldnt have even thought anything of this, but the fact that it did, and especially that its sooo fresh in my mind still, is what confuses me and hurts me more than anything. I dont know whether to stay in this relationship or not. I know i prolly left out some details or what not, please ask if u need further detail on anything.
  12. I am not gay, I am not lesbian, nor bisexual or transgender. Let me explain. I am desperately in love with my husband's brother Most posters in most forums are truly shocked by this and eventually, I feel like I am not welcome. I thought you people are bound to be an open minded group; more open minded than the others and there really is no place for someone like me to ask for advice. The minute I share my story (not much of a story, actually...) I am like leper... Will you make an exception and let me post here?
  13. Really important question: How common is it for girls to like JUST ONE girl and no others. To feel repulsed at the idea of other girls touching her but having strong feelings for one particular girl. For it to feel different with that girl, like it's not a lesbian relationship, like it's just 'right' and whilst everyone else outside the relationship would see just two lesbians together, it doesn't feel like that to the girl in the relationship. It just feels normal. (i.e not being lesbian and not being bisexual. Fancying lads but also ONE girl on the whole planet and not finding any other women remotely attractive.) So is this normal? To not fancy any other girls AT ALL or even think mmm she's nice. But to fancy this one girl, but not really feel like you're fancying a girl. How many people have experienced this? Is this common? Thankyou to anyone who gives their opinion.
  14. Well of course by the title you already know what Im gunna put. Well Im a BOY and Im 15 years old and I am BISEXUAL. Well ive always gotten alot of stares and glimpses from boyz and girls ever since I started cumming out slowly. Usually Im use to it and I move on but then sumtimes there will be a boy or two that catch my attention. Sumtimes I've caught a boy stare at me way too long or frequent more than other boys. I have a perfect example, now its story time lol Also this aint another one of those "Is he gay or bi?" quistions so dont have a cow if ya think iot is. Well today I was looking good and feeling gorgeous and I had on sum stylish clothes (style is so important) and I had on sum makeup. Im one of those boys that you can tell Im bisexual without even knowing me. Well back to the story. I had on sum heavy but not too heavy eyeliner and mascara and sum coverup and glittery lipstick. It was noticeable cuz I notice people were staring alot at me when i passed by. Well thers this one boy who is a senior (Im a freshman go fishies!) and for a while now hes been looking and glimpsing at me alot more than any other boy Ive seen. He doesnt stare alot at me he just glimpses at me or looks at me from time to time. Like today in 6th pd my english class went to watch a baseball game and he happened to be there (lucky me) and this is were I got confused. Well I was sitting accross from him, and i noticed he kept on looking in my direction alot from time to time (of course alot of boys and girls were becuz of my makeup) but this boy looked at me alot more times than all the other boys. He was stiting next to this girl I know and I noticed that sometimes he would say sumthing to her and she would look at me and she would say sumthing and he looked at me. Sumtimes when I caught him looking he would look away quickly but sumtimes he we just looked at each other for a second or two. Then afterschool he was talking to a friend in front of the school waitng for his mom.I walked out of the school and as soon as he saw me he glimpsed at me 4 or 5 times while he was talking to my friend. He did NOT stare he just glimpsed at me. He's caught me looking at him a few times and Ive caught him but when we look at each other we dont smile or do anything we just look at each other plain and simple. I would smile but im scared to cuz if hes straight he would probably freak out cuz he knows Im probably bi (it went around the whole school so I wouldnt be surprised if he heard about it) and aslo its not really a manly thing to do (straight guys usually just nod and say wazzup in our school) but I really really want to give him a smile and if he would smile back i would be in H-E-A-V-E-N I like him alot. He looks like he might be bi/gay but I cant let my fantasies cloud the reality. My girlfriends say they think he is. One of them said that it was so obvious to tell cuz he hanged out with girls mainly and talked kinda girlish (hes NOT girly though but he aint manly) and she has kinda good gaydar cuz she knew I was bi before she knew me and before I came out. I dont know what to think, any of you have any ideas? I dont know if he looks at me alot cuz of my makeup or cuz he fancies me or thinks Im attractive. What do ya think? I know ya dont have all the answers cuz of course we are not him but a few tips or ideas will help me out in the long run. I want to get to know him but Im the shy type. My friends said they would try to find out if hes gay/bi but I dont know if that would work. Especially if you want to stay in the closet. what should i do? any advice or tips? How can I approach this guy or at least let him know Im friendly? Much love jezzy
  15. O.K. so I'm a girl...I tend to fall in love with women but am sexually attracted to men. I haven't had a relationship with a person of either gender. But can you be bisexual if you say...fantasize about being in a relationship with a woman but having sex with a man? ...Or if any sexual feelings you feel for a woman are secondary to or come along wit or are barely noticed compared to the emotions..the whole "falling in love" thing...And what if you can only picture yourself being in a relationship with a guy even though all of your heartbreaks have been caused by women, whereas the men you've liked seemed to only have been infatuation.....Oh, and I might have fallen in love with both guys and girls. but it feels different for each gender and this is all over the course of a lifetime, not just one person or something? And what exactly constitutes "falling in love?" What if I really just want companionship from women because I haven't been in a relationship and don't have anyone to talk to a lot? Yeah, I'm kind of confused...because I thought I was heterosexual and would date guys and everything, and I still want to...but when I think about it, the people I think of when I say "Yeah, I know about heartbreak, unrequited love, love" whatever...are usually women...usually - there are a few guys too. Please give me some advice. Thank you to anyone who's still reading this! (I know, I tend to ramble...)
  16. So I'm 17, male, bisexual, and co-captain of my school's wrestling team. In practice, I work with this blond, blue-eyed, muscular eighth grader whom I find immensely attractive, but no one knows this. There is a part of the eighth grade class who knows I'm bi and so I've had a few of these sort of these conversations with my hot wrestling partner: Me: There are these kids in your class who whisper things like "fag" and "gay" whenever I walk by, when they're freshmen next year I'm gonna make their lives hell. Him: Yeah I know, they say you're bisexual... Me: I know, what's up with that? Him: Yeah, I know that's not true anyway. And everytime I have one of those I mentally kick myself because I hate the situation. It's ironic because he has no idea that I think he's incredibly hot. He's a nice kid who I don't think would actively make fun of me but it would make things incredibly awkward for us when we wrestle. I doubt it'd ever be the same. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if other, less mature people on the team found out and that would make it uncomfortable for everyone. I hate denying what I am but unfortunately I don't see any other way in this situation. The issue here is having people on the wrestling team know I'm bi... is this one of those time when it's best to remain closeted for the sake of the team? Has anyone else faced similar circumstances?
  17. Well if some of you who read my other post a few weeks back, it was about how my g/f slept with another female while on a trip out of the country, with another classmate, and told me as soon as she got back. She stated she only did it because i told her i was i was alright with her bisexual views. I never thought her being with another female would enrage me so much so i let her know i felt. I originally thought it wouldnt pose a threat to me if she was bisexual, but i only realized after it was too late of how turned off i would feel. She was very sorry for it and begged me for forgiveness, so I forgave her on it because she said she was willing to let go of that side of her and only be interested in me and no1 else and that nothing of that sort would ever happen again. --> this is the original post from the first topic - Last weekend, me her and my friend and his gf went away on a ski trip weekend. We had our own cabin. My gf just met these people for the first time. The 2nd night we were there, we all were drinking. My gf started getting a lil loose and blunt. She was acting very happy go lucky and giddy. She started putting her arm around the other girl, acting very friendly with her, acting excited around her company, tickling her, wanting me to take pictures of the two of them. She at one point blurted out, "when i drink or smoke, i get very horny." She even earlier in the evening (before drinking) looked down her pants at the other girls lingerie that she had planned for her bf, but she stated that they were talking about it earlier. I felt very uncomfortable about it at the time, mainly because of what had just taken place a few weeks back. It made me begin wondering if this was the true her, being very close and friendly with other females, especially when under the influence. It made all confused about what she had stated to me after the japan incident, that she wouldnt act that way and was willing to let go of her lesbian ways. The part that concerns me alot is that she acts VERY different when she in under the influence of alcohol as compared to not, even when it comes to the sex between us. Shes alot more open and aggressive even with me in bed when drinking. I didnt say anything during the trip, but when we got back i did bring it up. Then the next day, my friend actually gave me even more info, he said that at one point when i was in the kitchen, she went into the bathroom with the other girl, and asked her "if she was only straight." My friends GF felt very uncomfortable at that point, and clearly said yes she was only straight. She stated that she felt that if she said that she does go both ways, that my gf wouldve pounced on her. After hearing that, i was just enraged. I couldnt believe my ears. I was totally hurt and felt disrespected once again. When i brought it to her attention, she stated that she was just being friendly with her, trying to become friends, and that she had no intentions of anything. She stated that it was just a question out of curiosity, nothing more. She said shes very friendly with females like that all the time, with her mom, sister, cousins, friends, etc. She said she wouldnt ever lie to me, and what she said a few weeks back, she meant. She said she wanted the whole weekend to be for us together, nothing else. She didnt have any thoughts towards anything of that sort. I am in a difficult position to believe her now. I dont know what to do. I dont know how to trust her at this point. A part of me wants to believe her, but a part of me is very hurt and mad. I dont know what to believe at this point. I dont know if my gf is TRULLY capable of fully letting go of her bisexual nature, even if she states she has no interest in anyone but me. She stated last night when we spoke, that she still calls herself bisexual but just says that she doesnt practice it right now. But then she also stated that if her and I were to break up, she would go back to that. This is all is very confusing. I dont know what to tihnk. I cant stand the thought of her being interested in anyone but me At this point, even knowing that the thought might cross her mind enrages me. I dont know if deep down inside, she ever would fully let it go. I get afraid of how she might be if shes drinking, and im not around. And you know what they say, when u drink, the truth comes out...so i wonder. BTW, if the whole thing with her and another female didnt happen a few weeks back, i wouldnt have even thought anything of this, but the fact that it did, and especially that its sooo fresh in my mind still, is what confuses me and hurts me more than anything. I wouldve thought that she wouldve been smarter than to do something right in my face that might remind me or make me question her desires, especially so soon. I dont know whether to stay in this relationship or not. this new incident is only pushing me further to wonder whether my GF can TRULLLYY let go of her bisexual side or if its just something she says she wants to do just for the sake of wanting to keep this relationship alive...i dunno what to believe at this point My girl has never lied to me up until this point and has always been 100% open about everything, but its still hard for me to believe everything, because right now i believe the "other side" of her can come on at anytime, and thats what i cant trust. Am i overanalyzing this or do i have every right to doubt her trust at this point?? I know i prolly left out some details or what not, please ask if u need further detail on anything. This post is not questioning whether what my GF did the first time around was cheating or not, because I already established that with that it was and she accepted it and apologized deeply. I just need feedback on what i stated the topic was, as well as what you might think this last weekend represented, thank you. Sorry to make it so long.
  18. Hi. I am 21 years old and male and have always been confused about my sexuality. I have dated women but i have never been really into it. Everytime i have a crush on a guy, it seems as if nobody i like is interested in a same sex relationship at all. My gaydar is completely messed up. I can't find anybody that will make me happy. How am I supposd to figure myself out if i never have the chance to be with someone of the same sex. It doesnt help that i have low self esteem. To many i am not ugly, but i dont see myself the way they do. I usually blame myself and the way i look for the reasons why nobody wants to be with me. I am very well liked though. Its jsut something i always do. I am very slim, and usually when i feel alone i stop eating a lot and i run. Actually today i ran 5 miles just so i can make my face appear slimmer so people might think im more attractive. I dont want to hurt myself over finding somebody and i need help and guidance. :sad:
  19. I'm a bisexual woman, and I've been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for over a year. I'm extremely confused because I recently broke up with her out of fear. Now that I did that, I can't stop thinking that she is the one I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life. I can't explain it, but I know she is my soulmate on so many different levels. She knows that I am bisexual, but doesn't approve of it while we are in a committed relationship. She encouraged me to do my own thing for a while, but we are still going to be in our relationship, however there is no strings attached at this time. I'll always be attracted to men, and wish for that "normal" life, but I can't help who I am, and how it has defined me over the years. After I get out of one same sex relationship, I head over to the opposite sex relationship, and when that doesn't work out, I go back to the same sex relationship. I've never cheated on her or anyone else, but when I think it's not working, I give up and move on to the next. Needless to say, it has been a whirlpool of the same actions and consequences. I never thought I'd ever find someone to love me as much as I love them, and then just when I thought it would never happen, I found it in her. The other day while I was having an emotional breakdown, she was there for me like always, and she comforted me and gave me the space I needed, and rubbed my back and kissed me when I needed it. It really hit me that she is my soulmate.. I can just feel it, but I am so scared. I'm scared of making the wrong decision, I'm scared of being Judged by God and the people around me. Marriage, committment, and family is a huge issue. I want it so bad, but how do I know which way to go and if marriage is an option for someone bisexual like myself? Thanks, I'll be looking forward to your advice.
  20. Well ya guys Im stuck in a rut and Im clinging on to hope! Well Im a bisexual male and Im only 15 and Im proud......but now my pride is starting to wane because of one very important quistion, "Will I go to Hell for being the way I am?". Some people say that gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, etc. people go to Hell, then there are some people who say that it's not true. I think God loves everyone and doesnt care for sexual orientation but then again with all the people and books that say that being homosexual is a sin, it leaves me confused. I read a book about sex and all that teen stuff today, its a Christian book by the way, and in it it said that its a sin and that people CHOOSE to be Gay,Lesbian,Tran,Bi, etc. Now thats were I strongly disagree because I did NOT choose to be Bi! Im not saying that God created me like this but I know "me" better than anyone else! Ever since I could remember I always was attracted to both sexes since I was 4 or 5! I mean what 5 year old boy do you know just wakes up one day and decides to become bisexual? Its appauling that people think that! Then the book said that people can change there ways and that kind of stuff. Im just so confused, what are ya's views on this?
  21. Ok, first things first, i'm a girl who so far has only been attracted to guys so far really but i met this great girl at a party. She had a camera phone and aimed it in my direction, i thought she was taking a photo of the people behind me but i felt flattered when it turned out she wanted to take a photo of me. I couldn't get to sleep that night because i was so excited at having met someone so amazing. I felt attracted to her and for the first time in ages i wanted to actually have a great social life. I think this makes it clear to me that i might be bisexual but i've never been attracted to any other girls before and she has quite a boyish appearance. I'm still confused funnily about my sexual orientation but i guess i'm a bit daunted by if its true how do i deal with it, do i tell all my friends or keep it quiet as i'm very shy. I get embarrassed enough with my friends talking seriously about sex too loud in public, how very silly of me, i know I don't know what to do about her though as well, i want to get to know her as a friend at least but i think i made a fool of myself when i texted her today. And she didn't reply after i apologised for if i'd accidently offended her, i'm going to give her space and wait a few days before i try talking to her again. But how do i know whether she may be at all possibly attracted to girls? Sorry about the long rant here but i wanted to make sure i was as clear as possible. And thank you so much for even taking time to read this
  22. (bisexual and relationship issues) I've known this man for four years online, and I think he's such a great person. He is a Christian, and lives alone in a 3 bedroom house in another State than me. We have never met before, but I feel like I really know him because he has been my friend through a lot of different circumstances in my life. (Pregnancy by another man, heartache of my baby's death, now in a committed relationship with a woman). Read more of my past threads. And I also know a lot about him, and his family etc. I'm a Christian too, and we have even prayed together on the phone during his time of need, and my time of need. My current relationship isn't fullfilling, but I don't know what the reason is completely. Is it because I am bisexual and I am not getting the full package, or is it because she isn't on the same sexual level as me. She loves me so much, and treats me like a queen, but I feel as if I have to beg for sex, and she is un-interested. I have always had a special place in my heart for *s*(the guy who i'm talking about). There was a time where I really could imagine us being together, but he never came to visit me over the years, and I had made my mind up that I wasn't going to make the first visit ever again due to a bad experience with it in the past. So yesterday we were texting back and forth. He asked if I was going to the beach b/c where I live it was warm weather, and I told him no, but if he was here I would take him. So he asked me to send him a plane ticket, and I told him no, and after all these years if he really wanted to come out and meet me, he could have saved up for a vacation. Then his reply was "well start confessing and i'll come visit you next year". I was shocked, and excited at the same time, but also nervous. I aske what he meant by "start confessing", and he replied with something that I cant' remember right this moment, but when I asked if he was suggesting something he said "maybe". Does anyone have any advice for me? I know I really want a husband and a family, and he seems like such a great guy. What do I do? Just wait and see what happens when I meet him, then go from there? Or do I sneak around having an emotional affair with him through the internet and phone calls/texting and not tell her anything of this? Or should I just break off my current relationship, knowing that in the future I know that I am going to find another? A bit confused, but I also am still in the present b/c I know that I have a full schedule at school over the next semester ahead of me, and I won't let anything "emotional" get in the way of that. Also, she treats me wonderful, and I am scared of going off with someone else just b/c I am not getting sexually fullfilled. I'd hate to end up in a sexually fullfilling relationship with someone, but them treat me like dirt. Then also, I have been in relationships with men and women, and it is apparent that I am bisexual. I don't want to be with someone who won't accept that.. he does, but I would hate for him to change that thinking if we ever got together. Thanks, M
  23. Hi, Im a 15 year old bisexual male. Well i've been single for a loooong time *sighs* and after a while I really get tired of being alone. Well lately I've been going around looking for another bi/gay guy to satisfy me. Well everywhere I go theres usually guys who will glance, stare, or look at me ocasionally. Well when i catch someone lookin at me I'm usualy like "Is he gay/bi?" or Im like "I wonder if he thinks I dress or look funny." Well I'm shy so when I catch another guy lookin at me I look away cuz I dont want them to think I have a staring problem or somthing. I sometimes have an urge to smile at them and see if they smile back but I would be embaressed if they didn't return my smile back to me. Plus Im not the type to go up to a total stranger and be like "Hi, my names blahblahblah, whats yours?" So next time I catch the eye of someone who looks at me occasionally does anyone have a idea or tip on how to find out if theyre interested in me or sumthing? I know you cant tell a persons sexuality by looking at them and some of the boys who stare look bi/gay and some dont. So anyone plz plz plz help me.
  24. My boyfriend and I have been best friends for about a year now. We are insanely mentally and emotionally compatible. He told me he was bisexual when we first started becoming close. About four months after we got really close, we started dating. I broke up with him after a mere ten days because I got panicked about the idea of dating my best friend, especially since we attend college together and he's sort of my sanctuary at school. We went home for the summer and I just couldn't get past him. Finally, after about six months of what we referred to as friendship-dating limbo, he asked me if I wanted to give things another try. I said I did. He said we'd have to take it a step at a time in order to effectively deal with his intimacy issues. I agreed to that. We dated for about three weeks until he kissed me for the first time and it was a quick kiss at that. We've only had two of those quick kisses in our month of dating as of yet. We've made out extensively while drunk at parties several times, but even then something always seemed to be off. He just didn't seem all that into it, certainly not as into it as I was, and he would just stop abruptly, as though he could just take it or leave it easily. I found a lot of gay porn on his computer while using Limewire to download some music I thought he should hear at his house one day. I had a number of times over the several months of knowing him doubted his bisexuality and thought if he did have any interest in women physically it was something forcibly exaggerated or entirely fabricated; but, I didn't want to believe this to be true, so I blinded myself to it, instead looking for clues that confirmed what I wanted to believe- that he was bisexual and our relationship would become what I wanted it to be. Finding all of this gay porn unaccompanied by any straight pornography was sort of a turning point for me. While we were lying drunk together on the couch one night, I told him I was worried he had exaggerated or fabricated his interest in women. He refuted this and said that he couldn't imagine being with a man in a relationship, that he wasn't mentally or emotionally attracted to men, only physically and that he was mentally, emotionally, and physically attracted to me, but that I was the only woman he could really imagine having sex with. I accepted that because I wanted to believe it. On Thursday, he basically came out and said he believed me to be an exception to his not being able to fully be with a woman and the answer to his not being able to fully be with a man. He said that if it weren't for me, he would believe he was gay and that I seemed to be an exception to this rule- the sole exception- and that he believed I was the answer to his not wanting to be with a man- his inability to mentally desire or accept a relationship with a man. He told me that he believed there was a substantial chance of us succeeding. He's said before he believes he's in love with me. I believe it entirely plausible that he's so mentally and emotionally in love with me that he's managed to create a small amount of physical attraction to me but I don't think this attraction can be considered organic or natural or that it's enough to be satisfactory for either one of us in a relationship. The hardest part of it all is that I managed to fall in love with him in these past ten months. I love him so much and the idea of him with anyone else is so hurtful and I'd give up just about anything (including my career and most of my friendships) if there were any way to barter for him to become heterosexual or even truly bisexual, but I know that sexual preference isn't something that can be changed. I am hoping to become an even better best friend to him through all of this but I first have to tell him I don't think it's possible that I am the sole exception to a biological rule about him and I don't think that us continuing to attempt to have a relationship is a good idea because neither one of us will be fulfilled physically. I think he just so badly wishes he weren't gay, he's sort of made me into his savior from homosexuality. His father wouldn't readily accept his coming out and it would limit his career terribly. I hate the idea of rejecting his request so much and I wish he would reach this conclusion on his own. I don't know exactly what question I might be asking with this post. Perhaps I just want general feedback.
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