Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'obsession'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Relationships
    • Dating Advice
    • Relationship Advice
    • Infidelity
    • Online Dating
    • Friendship and Friends
    • Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
    • Abuse and Violence
    • Long-Distance Relationships
    • Age Gap Relationships
    • Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
    • Trust and Relationships
    • Marriage/Long Term Relationships
  • Breaking up and Divorce
    • Breaking Up Advice
    • Divorce Advice
    • Getting Back Together
    • Healing After Break Up or Divorce
  • Personal Growth
    • Personal Growth
    • Career, Money and Education
    • Grief Loss and Bereavement
  • Families
    • Parenting and Families
    • Pets
  • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
  • Sex and Romance
    • Sex and Romance
    • Pregnancy
  • Emotions and Feelings
    • Emotions and Feelings
    • Jealousy
  • Journals's Journals
  • Journals's Private Journals
  • Off Topic's Topics
  • Book Talk's Topics
  • Travel and Culture's Topics
  • Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics

Categories

  • Abuse & Violence
  • Addictions
  • Adoption
  • Age Gap Relationships
  • Alternative Medicine
  • Astrology
  • Beauty & Fashion
  • Breaking Up
  • Career & Money
  • Dating
  • Depression
  • Divorce
  • Education
  • Exercise and Fitness
  • Food and Nutrition
  • Friendship and Friends
  • Grief Loss & Bereavement
  • Happiness
  • Health
  • Home and Living
  • Infidelity
  • LGBTQ+
  • Long-Distance Relationships
  • Marriage
  • Mental Health
  • News
  • Parenting & Family
  • Personal Growth
  • Pregnancy
  • Pets
  • Relationships
  • Religion and Spirituality
  • Self-Esteem
  • Sleep
  • Stress
  • Supplements and Vitamins
  • Toys & Games
  • Weight Loss & Diet

Categories

  • Relationships
  • Career & Money
  • Parenting & Family
  • Dating
  • Breaking Up & Divorce
  • Marriage
  • Personal Growth
  • Self-Esteem
  • Grief Loss & Bereavement
  • Depression
  • Mental Health
  • Happiness
  • Health
  • Pets
  • Infidelity
  • Friendship and Friends
  • Love

Blogs

There are no results to display.

There are no results to display.


Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


About Me

  1. Do you have book passages, quotes, poems that left their mark on you, speak to you, do you perhaps even use them as a mantra or orientation in life? Perhaps you just..like them? Well, I have tons and tons and I never seem to get enough and have the same curiosity drive me in the inquiry about yours as some women have for "what's in your handbag" pins. It's an obsession of mine almost. If you have bits of literature you'd like to share I bet some of us bookworms would love to read them. If possible, try to add the authors name or a book title for those who might be interested in reading more. Happy posting- and reading
  2. Key Takeaways: Identify signs of unhealthy attachment Understanding the roots of obsession Establishing healthy relationship boundaries Improving self-awareness and independence Effective communication is key Understanding Obsession in Relationships Obsession in relationships often manifests as an overwhelming preoccupation with a partner's actions, thoughts, or feelings. It's a state where one's emotional and mental energy is excessively focused on another person, leading to an imbalance in the relationship. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for fostering a healthier connection. At its core, obsession reflects a deep-seated insecurity and fear of loss. It frequently stems from personal insecurities or past experiences that have not been fully resolved. This intense focus on the partner can create a cycle of dependency, where one's happiness and self-worth become entangled with the other person's presence and approval. Obsession also affects how one perceives and interacts with their partner. It can lead to controlling behaviors, constant need for reassurance, and difficulty in accepting the partner's independence. These behaviors, while often rooted in a desire for closeness, can ironically push the partner away. It's important to distinguish between healthy devotion and obsessive behavior. Healthy relationships involve mutual respect, trust, and understanding, with both partners maintaining their individual identities. Obsession, on the other hand, erodes these foundations, leading to a one-sided relationship dynamic. Addressing obsessive tendencies requires introspection and honesty. It involves recognizing one's vulnerabilities and working towards building self-esteem and emotional resilience. This self-work is a critical step in moving away from obsession and towards a balanced and fulfilling relationship. Another aspect of overcoming obsession is learning to trust one's partner. Trust is fundamental in any relationship and cultivating it can alleviate the need for constant reassurance and control. Building trust takes time and effort, and it requires both partners to be open, honest, and reliable. Finally, it's essential to seek support when needed. Whether it's from friends, family, or a professional, getting outside perspectives can provide clarity and guidance. This support can be instrumental in breaking the cycle of obsession and fostering a healthier approach to relationships. Recognizing the Signs of Unhealthy Attachment Recognizing the signs of unhealthy attachment is the first step towards addressing obsessive behaviors in a relationship. These signs are often subtle and can be easily overlooked, especially when one is deeply involved in the relationship. One clear sign is constant anxiety about the relationship. This can manifest as relentless worry about the partner's whereabouts, actions, or feelings. This anxiety often leads to a need for frequent reassurance from the partner, which can be draining for both individuals. Another sign is the loss of individual identity. This occurs when one's interests, hobbies, and social connections take a backseat to the relationship. When a person's identity becomes too intertwined with their partner's, it can create an unhealthy level of dependency. Jealousy and possessiveness are also common indicators of unhealthy attachment. While a certain level of jealousy is normal in relationships, it becomes concerning when it leads to controlling behavior or a lack of trust. Finally, neglecting personal well-being for the sake of the relationship is a significant warning sign. This includes sacrificing one's own needs, goals, and values to keep the relationship intact. Recognizing and addressing these signs is vital for maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship. Exploring the Root Causes of Obsession Understanding the root causes of obsession in relationships is key to overcoming it. These causes are often deep-seated and multifaceted, stemming from personal histories, psychological factors, and even societal influences. One common cause is past trauma or unresolved issues from previous relationships. These experiences can instill a fear of abandonment or rejection, leading individuals to cling tightly to their partners as a way to avoid perceived threats to the relationship. Low self-esteem and a lack of self-identity can also contribute to obsessive behaviors. When individuals do not feel secure in themselves, they may seek validation through their relationships, placing undue importance on their partner's approval and attention. Attachment styles, formed in early childhood, play a significant role in how one behaves in relationships. Those with anxious or insecure attachment styles may be more prone to obsessive tendencies, constantly seeking reassurance and fearing loss. Cultural and societal norms can also influence one's perception of what a relationship should look like. Unrealistic portrayals of romance and partnership in media can set unattainable standards, leading to an obsession with achieving the 'perfect' relationship. Lastly, underlying mental health issues, such as anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder, can manifest in relationships. It's important to recognize these conditions and seek appropriate treatment, as they can significantly impact relationship dynamics. Addressing these root causes requires a combination of self-reflection, professional guidance, and sometimes, therapeutic intervention. By understanding and working through these underlying issues, individuals can begin to cultivate healthier, more balanced relationships. The Impact of Obsession on Your Relationship The impact of obsession on a relationship can be profound and far-reaching, affecting both partners and the overall health of the relationship. It's essential to recognize these effects to mitigate them effectively. Obsessive behavior can lead to an imbalance in the relationship, with one partner exerting excessive control or dependence on the other. This dynamic can cause significant stress and strain, leading to feelings of suffocation and loss of personal space. Trust issues often arise in relationships where obsession is present. The obsessive partner's need for constant reassurance and their suspicion can erode the foundation of trust, which is crucial for any healthy relationship. Communication breakdown is another consequence of obsessive behaviors. The focus on the self and one's insecurities can overshadow the needs and feelings of the partner, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. Obsession can also stifle personal growth and independence within the relationship. Partners may find themselves sacrificing their own interests, goals, and social connections, which can lead to resentment and a loss of self-identity. Furthermore, the emotional toll on both partners can be significant. The obsessive partner may experience heightened anxiety and stress, while the other partner may feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, and emotionally drained. Addressing the impacts of obsession is crucial for the health of the relationship. It involves open communication, setting boundaries, and sometimes seeking professional help to navigate the complexities and restore balance. Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships Setting healthy boundaries is essential in any relationship, especially when dealing with obsession. Boundaries help define what is acceptable and what isn't, fostering respect and understanding between partners. Boundaries can be emotional, physical, digital, or intellectual. Emotional boundaries involve respecting each other's feelings and needs. Physical boundaries pertain to personal space and physical touch. Digital boundaries address the use of technology and social media, while intellectual boundaries relate to respecting each other's thoughts and opinions. Communicating boundaries is key. It involves clear, honest, and respectful dialogue. It's not about making demands, but rather expressing needs and expectations in a healthy way. Respecting boundaries is just as important as setting them. It requires understanding and acknowledging the partner's limits and adhering to them, even if they differ from one's own. Setting boundaries also means being prepared to enforce them. This might involve assertive communication and, in some cases, reevaluating the relationship if boundaries are consistently disregarded. It's crucial to understand that boundaries are not a means of control but a way to ensure mutual respect and trust. They help maintain individual identities and prevent the relationship from becoming suffocating or one-sided. Finally, it's important to regularly review and adjust boundaries. As relationships evolve, so do the needs and comfort levels of each partner. Continuous dialogue ensures that boundaries remain relevant and effective. Cultivating Self-Awareness and Independence Cultivating self-awareness and independence is vital in overcoming obsession and building a healthy relationship. It starts with understanding oneself and recognizing one's values, needs, and emotions. Self-awareness involves introspection. It's about identifying one's strengths and weaknesses, understanding emotional triggers, and recognizing patterns in behavior and thought. This self-knowledge is crucial in breaking the cycle of obsession. Independence in a relationship means maintaining one's identity outside of the partnership. It involves pursuing individual interests, hobbies, and friendships, which enriches one's sense of self and brings a healthier dynamic to the relationship. Independence also entails emotional self-reliance. This doesn't mean shutting out the partner, but rather not being entirely dependent on them for emotional support. It's about finding balance and being able to cope with emotions independently. Encouraging independence is a two-way street. It involves supporting each other's individual pursuits and respecting each other's need for space. This mutual support fosters a stronger, more resilient bond. The Role of Communication in Overcoming Obsession Effective communication is fundamental in addressing and overcoming obsession in relationships. It's the bridge that connects understanding to action, allowing partners to express their needs, fears, and expectations. Open and honest communication helps in expressing concerns about obsessive behaviors without assigning blame. This approach fosters a safe environment where both partners feel heard and understood. Listening is just as important as speaking. Active listening involves fully concentrating on what is being said, rather than simply hearing the words. It's about understanding your partner's perspective and responding empathetically. Non-verbal communication also plays a significant role. Body language, eye contact, and tone of voice can all convey messages that words may not, and it's important to be aware of these signals in both oneself and one's partner. Finally, it's crucial to seek constructive solutions together. Communication is not just about airing grievances; it's about working collaboratively to find ways to improve the relationship and address the underlying issues of obsession. Building Trust and Security in Your Relationship Trust and security are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. They are particularly crucial in the context of overcoming obsession, as they form the foundation for a stable and balanced partnership. Building trust starts with consistency. Consistent actions, be it in communication, affection, or support, help create a reliable and predictable environment in which both partners can feel secure. Honesty is also integral to trust. This means being truthful about one's feelings, thoughts, and actions. Honesty fosters transparency and reduces misunderstandings that can fuel obsessive thoughts. Respecting privacy is a key aspect of trust. While openness is important, it's also necessary to respect each other's individual space and privacy. This respect helps mitigate feelings of suffocation and control that are common in obsessive relationships. Empathy plays a vital role in building trust. Understanding and sharing the feelings of your partner can help deepen the connection and create a sense of mutual support. Forgiveness is sometimes necessary in the journey of building trust. This doesn't mean condoning hurtful actions, but rather moving past them constructively to prevent resentment from taking root. Lastly, building trust is an ongoing process. It requires continuous effort and commitment from both partners to maintain and strengthen the trust over time. Practicing Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation Mindfulness and emotional regulation are powerful tools in managing the tendencies of obsession in relationships. Mindfulness involves staying present and fully engaging with the current moment, reducing the propensity to ruminate on fears or anxieties about the relationship. Practicing mindfulness can be done through meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply being consciously aware of one's thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice helps in recognizing obsessive thoughts and gently steering the mind towards more constructive patterns. Emotional regulation involves understanding and managing one's emotions, especially in moments of stress or conflict. It's about finding healthy ways to express and process emotions without letting them control one's actions or thoughts. Journaling is a useful technique for emotional regulation. Writing down thoughts and feelings can provide clarity and perspective, making it easier to understand and manage emotions related to the relationship. Finally, learning to respond rather than react to emotional triggers in the relationship is crucial. This involves taking a step back when feeling overwhelmed and choosing a thoughtful response instead of an impulsive one. Engaging in Individual Interests and Hobbies Engaging in individual interests and hobbies is essential for maintaining a healthy sense of self within a relationship. It encourages personal growth and reduces the risk of becoming overly dependent on one's partner for fulfillment. Individual hobbies provide an outlet for self-expression and stress relief. They offer an opportunity to explore personal passions and talents, which can boost self-esteem and confidence. Maintaining a social life independent of the relationship is also important. Social interactions with friends, family, or groups provide diverse perspectives and support systems, enriching one's life experience beyond the relationship. Setting aside time for personal interests should be a priority. It's about balancing the time spent with a partner and time spent on individual activities, ensuring neither is neglected. Supporting each other's hobbies and interests can strengthen the relationship. Showing interest and encouragement in your partner's pursuits can enhance mutual respect and appreciation. Lastly, trying new activities together can be beneficial. While it's important to have individual hobbies, shared experiences can also help build a stronger bond and create new, enjoyable memories. Seeking Professional Help When Needed Recognizing when to seek professional help is a crucial step in dealing with obsessive tendencies in a relationship. Professional guidance can provide the tools and support necessary to navigate these challenges effectively. Therapy or counseling can offer a safe space to explore the underlying causes of obsession. A therapist can help identify patterns of thought and behavior that contribute to obsessive tendencies and offer strategies to address them. Couples counseling is another valuable resource. It allows both partners to communicate their feelings and concerns in a mediated environment, fostering understanding and collaboration in addressing the issue. Group therapy or support groups can also be beneficial. Sharing experiences with others who are facing similar challenges can provide comfort, insight, and a sense of community. Online resources, such as webinars, forums, and articles, can supplement professional help. They offer additional perspectives and strategies for managing relationship dynamics. Finally, it's important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and commitment to improving the relationship. It demonstrates a willingness to grow and work towards a healthier, happier partnership. Maintaining a Balanced and Healthy Relationship Maintaining a balanced and healthy relationship requires continuous effort and commitment from both partners. It involves nurturing the bond, respecting individual differences, and fostering mutual growth. Regular communication is key. Keeping an open line of dialogue ensures that both partners are on the same page and can address any issues before they escalate. Practicing gratitude and appreciation can strengthen the connection. Regularly expressing appreciation for each other's efforts and qualities builds a positive environment and reinforces the value of the relationship. Setting aside quality time together is important. Whether it's date nights, shared hobbies, or simple daily rituals, spending meaningful time together helps maintain the emotional connection. Encouraging personal growth and supporting each other's goals and aspirations can enhance the relationship. It shows respect for each other's individuality and a commitment to mutual happiness. Lastly, staying adaptable and open to change is crucial. Relationships evolve over time, and being flexible allows partners to navigate life's changes together, maintaining a strong and enduring bond. FAQ: Common Concerns and Misconceptions Addressing frequently asked questions and misconceptions is crucial in providing clarity and understanding about overcoming obsession in relationships. Here, we tackle some of the most common concerns. Q1: Is it normal to be obsessed with my partner? While it's normal to feel strongly about a partner, obsession goes beyond healthy attachment, leading to potential emotional distress and relationship imbalance. Q2: Can obsession be a sign of love? True love is respectful and nurturing, not controlling or suffocating. Obsession, often stemming from insecurity, is a distortion of these principles and not a healthy expression of love. Q3: Will setting boundaries push my partner away? Healthy boundaries actually strengthen relationships. They promote respect, trust, and understanding, allowing both partners to feel secure and valued. Next Steps: Moving Forward with Confidence Moving forward from an obsession-oriented mindset requires commitment, effort, and often, time. The journey, though challenging, can lead to a healthier, more fulfilling relationship dynamic. Start by reflecting on the insights and strategies discussed in this article. Identify which aspects resonate most with your situation and consider how you can apply them to your relationship. Communication with your partner is essential. Share your thoughts, feelings, and intentions about making positive changes in your relationship. This openness can foster mutual understanding and support. Implementing the discussed strategies, like setting boundaries and cultivating independence, should be a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you navigate these changes. Stay committed to personal growth. Continue to develop self-awareness, work on building your self-esteem, and engage in activities that enrich your individuality. Regularly assess the health of your relationship. Are the changes making a positive impact? Are both you and your partner feeling happier and more fulfilled? This ongoing evaluation is key to sustained improvement. If challenges persist, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapy can provide additional guidance and support in your journey towards a healthier relationship. Finally, remember that overcoming obsession and building a balanced relationship is a journey of growth for both partners. Embrace this journey with patience, understanding, and a positive outlook, and you will move forward with confidence.
  3. Key Takeaways: Identifying causes of relationship obsession Effects of social media on past focus Importance of trust and communication Techniques for overcoming jealousy Seeking help for healthier relationships Understanding Obsession in Relationships Obsessing over a partner's past is a common, yet complex phenomenon in relationships. It often stems from a deep-seated need to understand and connect with the partner. However, when this curiosity transforms into an obsession, it can lead to unnecessary strain and conflict. Understanding the root causes of this behavior is crucial for addressing it effectively. One of the primary reasons for this obsession is insecurity. When individuals feel insecure in their relationship, they may obsess over their partner's past as a way to seek reassurance or find reasons for their insecurity. This behavior, however, can backfire, leading to increased anxiety and strain in the relationship. Another factor contributing to this obsession is the fear of being inadequate. Comparing oneself to a partner's past relationships or experiences can evoke feelings of not being good enough. This comparison can create a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, further fueling the obsession. Lastly, an obsession with a partner's past can also be a manifestation of unresolved personal issues. Past experiences, traumas, or attachment styles can influence how one perceives and reacts to a partner's history. Recognizing these personal influences is vital for overcoming the obsession and fostering a healthier relationship dynamic. The Psychology Behind Focusing on a Partner's Past The psychology behind focusing on a partner's past involves several interconnected factors. At its core, this behavior reflects a deep-seated need for security and understanding within the relationship. It's a quest for answers, often driven by fear, insecurity, and the desire for control. Attachment theory provides a valuable lens for understanding this behavior. According to this theory, our early relationships with caregivers shape our attachment styles, influencing how we relate to others in adulthood. Those with anxious or insecure attachment styles may be more prone to obsess over a partner's past, as they constantly seek reassurance and fear abandonment. Cognitive biases also play a significant role. Confirmation bias, for instance, can lead individuals to seek information that confirms their fears or suspicions about a partner's past. This selective attention often overlooks positive aspects of the relationship, reinforcing negative perceptions and anxieties. Projection is another psychological phenomenon at play. Individuals may project their own fears, insecurities, or past experiences onto their partner. This projection can distort the reality of the relationship, leading to misconceptions and mistrust. Furthermore, the influence of cultural and societal norms cannot be underestimated. Societal expectations about relationships, fidelity, and past experiences can shape how individuals view their partner's history. These expectations can create unrealistic standards and pressure, contributing to the obsession. Comparative social psychology also offers insights. The tendency to compare one's relationship to others' can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and fuel the obsession. Social media, with its curated portrayals of relationships, often intensifies these comparisons. Lastly, the role of communication patterns within the relationship is crucial. Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings and assumptions about a partner's past, while open and honest communication can alleviate fears and build trust. How Social Media Fuels Obsession with the Past Social media has become an integral part of our lives, profoundly influencing how we perceive and interact with the world, including our romantic relationships. The impact of social media on obsessing over a partner's past is particularly significant, altering the way individuals process and reflect on past experiences. The constant exposure to curated images and stories of others' relationships can lead to unrealistic comparisons. Social media often presents an idealized version of relationships, prompting individuals to question their own relationship's adequacy when compared to these seemingly perfect portrayals. Moreover, social media platforms provide easy access to information about a partner's past. The ability to scroll through years of a partner's life can trigger curiosity and, in some cases, lead to obsessive behaviors as individuals seek to uncover every detail of their partner's history. This digital window into the past can exacerbate feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Seeing images of a partner with previous partners or reading old posts can stir up emotions that might not have surfaced otherwise. This can create tension and conflict within the current relationship. Another aspect is the fear of missing out (FOMO). Observing the seemingly exciting and romantic pasts of others can lead to dissatisfaction with one's current relationship, fostering a sense of longing for what might have been. Additionally, the echo chamber effect of social media can amplify these feelings. Algorithms tend to show content that aligns with one's existing beliefs and interests, potentially reinforcing negative perceptions about a partner's past. Finally, the habit of constantly checking social media can become an addictive behavior, feeding into the cycle of obsession. The more one indulges in scrutinizing a partner's past on social media, the more ingrained the behavior becomes, creating a vicious cycle that's hard to break. The Impact of Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem Insecurity and low self-esteem are significant factors contributing to the obsession over a partner's past. These feelings can create a deep sense of inadequacy and fear within a relationship, leading to obsessive thoughts and behaviors. Individuals with low self-esteem often struggle with the idea of not being good enough for their partner. This can lead to a constant search for validation, where a partner's past becomes a yardstick for measuring one's worth in the relationship. Furthermore, insecurity can drive a person to seek control over their relationship. Obsessing over a partner's past can be a misguided attempt to gain a sense of control and predictability, especially in situations where the individual feels vulnerable. The impact of these feelings on a relationship can be profound. It can lead to trust issues, where one partner constantly doubts the other's commitment and feelings, based on their interpretation of the past. Addressing these underlying issues of insecurity and low self-esteem is crucial. It involves self-reflection, open communication with the partner, and, in many cases, professional guidance to navigate through these complex emotions and build a stronger, more secure relationship foundation. Distinguishing Between Curiosity and Obsession Understanding the line between healthy curiosity and unhealthy obsession is crucial in relationships. Curiosity is a natural part of human interaction, often leading to deeper understanding and connection. In contrast, obsession can be detrimental, leading to anxiety and strain in the relationship. Curiosity manifests as a genuine interest in learning about a partner's past, without judgment or comparison. It's characterized by an open-minded approach and a willingness to accept the past as part of who the partner is today. This type of interest typically doesn't interfere with the current state of the relationship. Obsession, however, is different. It involves excessive preoccupation with a partner's past to the point where it affects one's emotional wellbeing and the health of the relationship. Obsessive behavior often includes rumination, constant questioning, and a need for reassurance about the past. The transition from curiosity to obsession can be subtle. It often starts with simple questions but can escalate into a relentless quest for details, leading to feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and mistrust. Recognizing this shift is essential for maintaining a healthy dynamic in the relationship. Dealing with obsession requires self-awareness and often external help. It involves understanding one's insecurities, communicating openly with the partner, and possibly seeking professional advice to navigate through these complex emotions. The Role of Trust and Communication in Relationships Trust and communication are foundational elements of any healthy relationship. They play a vital role in how partners perceive each other's past and navigate their shared future. Establishing and maintaining trust can significantly mitigate the tendency to obsess over a partner's past. Effective communication is key to building trust. It involves not only talking about one's feelings and concerns but also actively listening to the partner. Through honest and open dialogue, misunderstandings can be cleared, and assumptions about the past can be addressed. Trust, once established, creates a safe space for both partners. It allows for vulnerability and openness, reducing the need to hide or obsess over past experiences. Trusting a partner means accepting their past as a part of them, without letting it define the current relationship. However, building trust and maintaining effective communication is not always straightforward. It requires effort, patience, and sometimes professional guidance. Couples may need to work through individual insecurities and learn healthy communication skills to strengthen their relationship. Ultimately, the presence of trust and open communication can transform how partners view each other's past. Instead of a source of obsession, the past becomes a narrative of growth and learning, enriching the relationship and deepening the bond between partners. Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity Jealousy and insecurity are common challenges in relationships, especially when dealing with a partner's past. Overcoming these feelings is crucial for the health and longevity of the relationship. It starts with introspection and understanding the roots of these emotions. Self-awareness plays a significant role in managing jealousy and insecurity. Recognizing one's feelings and triggers is the first step towards addressing them. It's important to acknowledge these emotions without judgment and understand their origins, whether from past experiences or personal insecurities. Communication with your partner about these feelings is equally vital. Expressing concerns and fears in a constructive manner can foster understanding and support. It's crucial to approach these conversations with honesty and openness, avoiding blame or accusations. Building self-esteem is another key factor. Focusing on personal growth and self-improvement can enhance self-worth and reduce dependency on external validation. Activities and hobbies that foster a sense of accomplishment and joy can be particularly beneficial. Setting boundaries and having personal space in a relationship can also help. Respecting each other's independence and privacy is important, as constant monitoring or questioning can exacerbate jealousy and insecurity. Lastly, professional help can be invaluable. Therapy or counseling provides a safe space to explore these emotions and develop coping strategies. It can also offer insights into patterns and behaviors that contribute to jealousy and insecurity. Strategies for Letting Go of the Past Letting go of the past is a critical step towards building a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It involves acknowledging the past, understanding its impact, and making a conscious effort to move forward. There are several strategies to facilitate this process. First, acknowledging and accepting the past is essential. Understanding that the past cannot be changed, and that everyone has a history, can help in developing a more realistic and compassionate perspective towards your partner's experiences. Practicing mindfulness is another effective strategy. Being present in the moment, rather than dwelling on past events, can reduce the hold of past-oriented thoughts and worries. Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation, can be particularly helpful in cultivating this mindset. Focusing on the current relationship and its positives can shift the perspective. Celebrating the unique aspects and strengths of your relationship can overshadow past concerns and foster a deeper connection with your partner. Developing trust in the relationship is also crucial. Trust diminishes the need to dwell on the past and fosters a sense of security and confidence in the partnership. Lastly, seeking professional guidance can provide the tools and support needed to let go of the past. Therapy can offer a structured approach to addressing these issues and building a healthier relationship dynamic. Building a Healthy Relationship with Present Focus A key to a healthy relationship is focusing on the present while learning from the past. This means actively cultivating a relationship dynamic that values current experiences and future aspirations, rather than dwelling on what has already transpired. Creating shared goals and experiences can help strengthen the bond between partners. Engaging in activities, planning future endeavors, and setting mutual objectives are excellent ways to keep the relationship anchored in the present and future. Regular appreciation and acknowledgment of each other's qualities foster a positive environment. Recognizing and celebrating each other's growth and contributions to the relationship helps shift the focus away from past narratives to present realities. Effective communication is also a cornerstone of a present-focused relationship. Discussing feelings, expectations, and plans openly can create a strong foundation of trust and understanding, crucial for a resilient partnership. Lastly, it's important to learn from past mistakes or experiences without letting them define the current relationship. This involves a balanced perspective that acknowledges the past's influence but prioritizes the present and future in the relationship. Seeking Professional Help When Needed There are times in a relationship when seeking professional help is not just beneficial, but necessary. Recognizing the signs that indicate the need for external assistance is crucial for the health and longevity of the relationship. One sign is the persistence of negative patterns. If certain issues keep resurfacing despite repeated attempts to resolve them, it may be time to seek professional guidance. This can include recurring arguments, unresolved conflicts, or ongoing dissatisfaction. Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness in the relationship are also indicators. When partners feel stuck or unsure about how to move forward, a therapist can provide direction and insights. Communication breakdowns are another common reason couples seek therapy. When partners struggle to understand each other or feel unheard, professional intervention can help develop effective communication skills. Additionally, when past traumas or personal issues significantly impact the relationship, professional help can be invaluable. Therapists can assist in addressing these underlying issues, facilitating healing and growth for both partners. Choosing the right type of therapy is important. Options include couples therapy, individual therapy, or a combination of both, depending on the specific needs and dynamics of the relationship. It's also crucial to find a therapist who is a good fit. This includes considering their approach, experience, and whether their style aligns with the couple's needs and personalities. Lastly, engaging in therapy requires commitment and openness. The process can be challenging, but it can lead to significant improvements in the relationship's health and partners' individual well-being. FAQ: Addressing Common Concerns and Misconceptions In this section, we address some frequently asked questions and common misconceptions regarding obsession with a partner's past in relationships. This aims to clarify doubts and provide practical insights. Q1: Is it normal to be curious about my partner's past? A: Yes, it's normal and healthy to have a level of curiosity about your partner's past. However, it's important to distinguish this from obsessive behavior that can be harmful to the relationship. Q2: Can a relationship survive if one partner is obsessed with the other's past? A: While challenging, a relationship can survive if both partners are willing to work on the underlying issues, communicate openly, and possibly seek professional help. Q3: How do I stop obsessing over my partner's past? A: Stopping this obsession involves self-reflection, understanding the roots of your obsession, open communication with your partner, and often professional assistance. Q4: Does social media have a role in fueling these obsessions? A: Yes, social media can amplify these obsessions by providing easy access to information about a partner's past and fostering unhealthy comparisons. Q5: Can therapy really help in overcoming these issues? A: Therapy can be highly effective in addressing the root causes of the obsession, improving communication skills, and fostering a healthier relationship dynamic. Q6: Are there any specific techniques to improve trust in a relationship? A: Techniques such as active listening, affirming each other's feelings, setting boundaries, and consistently demonstrating reliability can significantly improve trust. Q7: What if my partner doesn't take my concerns about their past seriously? A: If your partner dismisses your concerns, it's important to communicate how this affects you and consider couples therapy to address the communication gap and underlying issues. Final Thoughts: Embracing the Present and Future in Relationships While it's natural to be curious about a partner's past, it's essential for the health of the relationship to focus on the present and future. Embracing the here and now fosters a stronger, more resilient bond. Remember, every relationship is unique, and past experiences, whether yours or your partner's, are part of what shapes your journey together. It's the lessons learned and growth achieved from these experiences that matter most. Building a future together requires mutual effort, trust, and open communication. It involves working through challenges, celebrating successes, and continuously nurturing the bond you share. Lastly, if struggles with a partner's past are overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A healthy and fulfilling relationship is worth the effort, and sometimes guidance from an expert can make all the difference. May your relationship journey be one of mutual growth, understanding, and love, firmly rooted in the present and looking forward to a shared future.
  4. Unpacking the ‘Boyfriend Obsessed with Me' Phenomenon Welcome to this in-depth article where we explore the unnerving yet increasingly common phenomenon of having a boyfriend obsessed with you. In our digital age, the line between love and obsession can sometimes blur, creating a complicated web of emotions, expectations, and boundaries. You might be asking, "Is my boyfriend's intense focus on me a red flag?" Here's where we step in to give you the answers. With the expertise of psychologists, testimonies from real-life cases, and tons of practical advice, we aim to offer you a comprehensive understanding of what it means when you find your boyfriend obsessed with you. Why does this even matter? The answer is simple yet profound: Your emotional well-being is at stake. Emotional health is a cornerstone of any relationship, and it can rapidly deteriorate when one party becomes obsessive. This article serves as a roadmap. We'll pinpoint signs of obsession, dig deep into the psychology behind it, provide advice from experts, and offer you actionable steps to improve your situation. By the end of it, you should be better equipped to make informed decisions about your relationship. Statistics reveal a worrisome trend. According to a study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, obsessive behaviors in romantic relationships can lead to higher instances of emotional and even physical abuse. This is not just a ‘you' problem; it's more widespread than you might think. Let's navigate this delicate terrain together. Read on as we embark on this enlightening journey of self-discovery and relational understanding. Is It Love or Obsession? Knowing the Difference It's tempting to mistake obsession for love, especially when the feelings are intense and the attention is constant. However, the two are far from being synonymous. The initial stages of love and obsession can look quite similar, making it hard to distinguish one from the other. So how can you tell the difference? Love is built on mutual respect and freedom. It's an equal partnership where both parties feel seen, appreciated, and empowered to be themselves. Obsession, on the other hand, has a more imbalanced power dynamic. In an obsessive relationship, one partner often tries to control and dominate the other, sometimes without even realizing it. Psychologist Dr. Susan Whitbourne points out that "In obsessive love, the focus is on possession and control, not on enjoying the emotional and physical closeness of a partner.” In a healthy relationship, you share a life with someone; in an obsessive one, it feels like your life is being overtaken by someone else. If you're wrestling with the boyfriend obsessed with me situation, ask yourself: Does he respect your personal space, your aspirations, and your friendships, or does he try to absorb your life into his? Are you his partner, or have you become his 'project'? While it's charming to think that someone can't live without you, this thought becomes problematic when it manifests as them not allowing you to live without them, either. A balanced relationship comprises two whole individuals, not one person leaning so heavily on the other that they both fall over. Let's turn the pages and delve into specific signs that your boyfriend might be stepping over the line from love into obsession. Because, let's face it, if you're reading this article, you already suspect that something in your relationship is awry. The 5 Signs You Can't Ignore So, you've noticed something's off, but you're not quite sure what it is? To shed light on whether your boyfriend's behavior falls into the category of love or obsession, let's look at five red flags that are indicative of the latter. 1. Overwhelming Jealousy: A little jealousy can sometimes even be flattering, but if it evolves into him controlling who you see, what you do, and where you go, that's a red flag. This form of jealousy isn't about you; it's about his need to control. 2. Invasion of Privacy: Has he started checking your phone, emails, or social media without your consent? This level of intrusion goes beyond normal curiosity and veers into obsessive behavior. 3. Need for Constant Contact: If he requires incessant updates on your whereabouts and activities, consider this a red flag. While regular communication is essential in any relationship, the need for constant contact can be stifling and indicative of deeper issues. 4. Ultimatums and Emotional Manipulation: Does he frequently present you with ultimatums like "If you love me, you'll do this or that"? Emotional manipulation is a classic sign of an obsessive personality. 5. Isolating You from Friends and Family: One of the most concerning signs is when he attempts to cut you off from other relationships. Obsession often manifests as a desire to monopolize your time and focus. These five signs should not be ignored. They are often indicators of an unhealthy dynamic that could worsen over time. Remember, love should make you feel secure and respected, not controlled and isolated. The Psychological Dynamics of an Obsessive Relationship It's crucial to understand the underlying psychological elements that contribute to an obsessive relationship. The "boyfriend obsessed with me" situation is usually not about you, but rather about his insecurities, fears, and past traumas. And guess what? It's not your job to fix him. According to the psychological theory of attachment, adults, like infants, need secure relationships to thrive. However, obsessive behaviors often stem from insecure attachment styles, such as anxious-preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachments. In these cases, your boyfriend's obsession may be a projection of his insecurities and fears of abandonment. The control and manipulation often seen in obsessive relationships can also be understood through the lens of Cognitive Dissonance Theory. The theory suggests that when there's a mismatch between one's beliefs and actions, they'll attempt to modify one to match the other. In an obsessive relationship, the need to control often arises from the dissonance between the idealized version of you (and the relationship) that he holds in his mind, and the reality. Moreover, it's worth mentioning that obsession can be fueled by a variety of other psychological or even psychiatric issues, such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or borderline personality disorder. These conditions require professional intervention and are beyond the scope of what can be addressed solely within the relationship. It's also worth noting that psychological dynamics are nuanced. While it's easy to label the obsessive partner as the 'bad guy,' the reality is often more complex. Both parties in the relationship may be contributing to the unhealthy dynamic in different ways. This doesn't absolve the obsessive partner of responsibility, but it does mean that understanding the situation is often more complicated than it appears. If you're navigating an obsessive relationship, understanding these psychological dynamics can offer valuable insights. However, it should not replace professional psychological advice. Real Stories: Interviews with People Who've Been There Let's humanize the stats and theories with some real stories. We interviewed a handful of individuals who've been in relationships where their boyfriend was obsessed with them. These accounts offer a firsthand look at what it's like to be in such a relationship, how they coped, and what they learned. Emily, a 29-year-old graphic designer, shared her experience: "I thought his constant messages were sweet until it escalated into him wanting to know where I was and who I was with at all times. It took me a while to understand that his behavior wasn't cute; it was controlling." Another interviewee, Sarah, said, "He would often belittle me in front of our friends but then be super sweet when we were alone. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, and I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I knew something was off but couldn't pinpoint it until a friend pointed out that his behavior was obsessive." John, who realized he was the obsessive partner in his past relationship, admitted, "I would feel anxious when she wanted to spend time with other people. I realized I had issues I needed to work on when she finally had enough and left. I'm now in therapy working through my insecurities." These personal accounts serve as a testament to the fact that if you are dealing with a boyfriend obsessed with you, you're not alone. There are others who have walked this rocky path and come out the other side. Whether you choose to stay or leave, remember that the most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. People often come to understand their situation better when they hear the experiences of others. Perhaps these stories resonate with you. Take them as additional red flags or even as catalysts for change. The core lesson here is that identifying and dealing with an obsessive relationship takes both introspection and external perspectives. Sometimes, you're too enmeshed in the situation to see it clearly, which is where the experiences of others can be invaluable. Setting Boundaries: The First Line of Defense Boundaries are like invisible fences that help maintain a healthy sense of individuality and mutual respect in a relationship. If you feel like you're dealing with a boyfriend who is obsessed with you, setting clear and firm boundaries is crucial. The first step in establishing boundaries is open communication. Speak candidly about what behaviors are making you uncomfortable. The key is to be as specific as possible. Saying "You're smothering me" is far less effective than stating, "I don't like it when you go through my phone without asking." Next, make sure you enforce these boundaries consistently. This means you'll have to muster the courage to call out boundary-crossing when it happens. It can be hard, especially when the relationship has elements that are otherwise enjoyable or fulfilling. Don't forget to establish consequences for when boundaries are violated. The absence of consequences creates a toothless rule. For instance, if the consequence of checking your phone without permission is that you'll spend less time together, make sure you follow through. However, be prepared for some resistance or pushback. A partner who's been controlling or obsessive is likely to react defensively. Stay firm but empathetic in your conversations. Boundary-setting can serve as a litmus test for the relationship. A boyfriend who respects you will respect your boundaries. Conversely, continued overstepping is a glaring sign that you may be in an obsessive relationship. Lastly, evaluate the effectiveness of the boundaries over time. Are they helping? Do you need to adjust them? Revisiting and updating your boundaries ensures that they remain effective and reflective of your needs. When to Seek Professional Help Despite your best efforts, some situations necessitate professional intervention. If you've tried to resolve the issue through open communication and boundary-setting but are still encountering problems, it's time to seek expert advice. Couples therapy can be an excellent first step. However, individual therapy for the obsessed partner is often vital too, especially if the obsessive tendencies are rooted in personal insecurities or traumas. Therapists can provide strategies and coping mechanisms that are more personalized and effective than general advice. It's also essential to consider that obsessive behavior can escalate into something more sinister, such as emotional or even physical abuse. In such extreme cases, professional help is not just an option; it's a necessity. Do your research while selecting a professional to consult. Therapists and counselors should have credentials and expertise in dealing with relationships and obsessive behaviors. Don't be shy about asking for qualifications or references. Some might argue that seeking professional help is an extreme step. But when you're in a relationship where you feel trapped, stifled, and unable to grow, this 'extreme step' could be the lifeline you've been waiting for. If you're worried about cost, many organizations offer sliding scale fees or free initial consultations. Your emotional well-being is invaluable, and it's crucial to invest in it. The Role of Social Media: An Enabling Platform? Let's not sidestep the elephant in the room: social media. In today's interconnected world, platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat can exacerbate a "boyfriend obsessed with me" scenario. Does your boyfriend constantly monitor your online activity? Is he keenly aware of every person you add, or photo you like, perhaps even confronting you about it? These behaviors should not be dismissed as quirks of the digital age; they are modern manifestations of obsessive tendencies. It's not just real-world boundaries that need to be set; digital boundaries are equally important. Have a conversation about what you're comfortable sharing online, and what you'd rather keep private. Social media should not become another arena where you feel scrutinized and controlled. Interestingly, research has shown a correlation between social media usage and relationship satisfaction. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that excessive Facebook use is linked to Facebook-related conflict, which, in turn, is related to emotional and physical cheating, breakup, and divorce. Being 'connected' should not mean being 'controlled.' If you find that social media is adding an unnecessary layer of tension in your relationship, it may be time to reevaluate not just your privacy settings, but your relationship itself. Remember, every like, comment, or follow doesn't need to be dissected. If your partner is using social media to keep tabs on you, it's another indication that the relationship might be veering into unhealthy territory. Should You Stay or Should You Go? The million-dollar question: should you stay in a relationship with a boyfriend who's obsessed with you, or should you leave? There's no straightforward answer to this, and a lot depends on the individual circumstances. But this is a pivotal point that requires you to step back and reassess everything. If you decide to stay, you're implicitly agreeing to take on the challenge of helping both yourself and your partner grow. This is a formidable task and involves an ongoing commitment to open communication, boundary-setting, and potentially even professional help. Just know that you cannot "fix" your partner; he must be willing to recognize and address his issues. On the flip side, if you decide to leave, you're choosing a different set of challenges. You'll face the emotional fallout of a breakup, which is never easy. However, you'll be making a strong statement about your own self-worth and the kinds of behavior you're willing to accept in a relationship. Some people think leaving is an "easy way out," but that's a misunderstanding. The courage it takes to step out of a toxic relationship is monumental. If you decide to leave, surround yourself with a support network and potentially consult a lawyer or counselor to navigate any complexities that might arise. If you're unsure, consider a break—a defined period apart—to evaluate how you feel without the constant presence and influence of your partner. This is also a good time for both partners to seek individual therapy. Ultimately, the decision is deeply personal and only you can make it. Whichever path you choose, know that your emotional well-being should be the priority. The Consequences of Staying in an Obsessive Relationship Choosing to stay in an obsessive relationship comes with its set of repercussions. Emotional fatigue, loss of individuality, and even health issues due to constant stress are not uncommon. These are the unspoken "costs" of maintaining such a relationship. Staying for a long time in a psychologically draining relationship can lead to what experts term 'relationship burnout,' similar in many ways to occupational burnout. You'll find yourself emotionally exhausted, possibly detached, and less capable of expressing empathy and affection. Additionally, staying in such a relationship often leads to a cycle of reinforcement. Your partner learns that his obsessive behavior has no real consequences, making it likely that the pattern will continue, if not escalate. Staying might also affect other areas of your life, including your relationships with friends and family. You may find yourself increasingly isolated as you invest all your emotional energy into navigating your romantic relationship. And let's not forget the impact on your personal growth. Relationships should be catalysts for personal development, not hindrances. An obsessive relationship can seriously stunt your emotional growth and general life progression. Simply put, the costs can be high, affecting not just your emotional, but also your physical well-being. What Experts Say: Is There a Path to Recovery? Dealing with a "boyfriend obsessed with me" situation is tricky, but according to relationship experts, it's not entirely hopeless. Dr. Rhonda Freeman, a clinical neuropsychologist, suggests that obsessive love can sometimes be mitigated if the obsessed partner agrees to undergo specialized treatment like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Couples therapy can be helpful but treating obsession often requires more targeted interventions. According to a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, interventions like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) have shown promise in treating obsessive behaviors. However, experts also caution that there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Each relationship is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another. A lot depends on the willingness of the obsessed partner to recognize their behaviors as problematic and take steps to change. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, states that love and obsession activate similar areas in the brain, but with one crucial difference: healthy love triggers brain regions associated with empathy and understanding, while obsession activates areas related to anxiety and stress. If both partners are committed to the process, experts generally agree that there's a chance for the relationship to evolve into a healthier dynamic. However, the road to recovery is long, often fraught with setbacks, and requires persistent effort from both parties. Before taking any step, it's vital to consult with professionals who can guide you through the complexities of obsessive love and offer a tailored treatment plan. The Intersection with Cultural Norms and Expectations One cannot overlook the influence of cultural norms and societal expectations when discussing obsessive relationships. In many societies, romantic obsession is often misinterpreted as deep love or commitment, thereby giving it a veil of acceptability or even desirability. For example, the concept of "the jealous boyfriend" is often romanticized in media, without showing the psychological stress it can cause. Literature, movies, and even pop songs may portray obsessive love as "true love," further muddying the waters and making it difficult for people to identify problematic behaviors. Depending on your cultural background, you may also face additional pressure from family or community to stay in an unhealthy relationship. There might be a general lack of understanding or acknowledgment about what constitutes emotional or psychological abuse. It's important to recognize how these external factors can make it more challenging to address the issue and seek help. That's why education and awareness on this topic are so crucial; they empower you to break free from the expectations that can otherwise bind you. However, even within supportive environments, stepping away from societal norms is challenging. You may be shamed or ostracized for going against the grain. Be prepared for this, and remember that your mental well-being is worth the struggle. By considering the cultural elements, you add another layer of complexity but also of understanding, to the "boyfriend obsessed with me" issue. It's not just about you and your partner, but also about the societal webs you're both tangled in. How to Support a Friend in a Similar Situation Maybe you've navigated these choppy waters and have come out stronger, or perhaps you're still in the midst of it all. Either way, how do you support a friend who finds herself in a similar 'boyfriend obsessed with me' situation? Firstly, listen without judgment. Your friend needs a safe space to express her feelings and fears. Your role isn't to tell her what to do; it's to help her come to her own conclusions. Provide resources and suggest avenues for professional help, but don't force it. The decision to seek help is deeply personal and must come from her. Be a consistent source of support, but also set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Supporting someone in an obsessive relationship can be draining, and you need to look after yourself too. Encourage her to join support groups or online forums where she can hear other people's stories. Sometimes knowing you're not alone can be incredibly empowering. If she decides to stay or leave, stand by her decision and help in practical ways. Whether that means being there for emotional support or helping her move out, your steadfastness will be invaluable. Being a good friend doesn't mean solving someone's problems; it means standing beside them as they figure out how to solve them themselves. Conclusion: Reclaiming Your Independence and Emotional Health Coming to grips with a "boyfriend obsessed with me" situation is no small feat. It demands courage, self-reflection, and a willingness to make hard choices. Regardless of whether you choose to stay or leave, remember that you have the agency to influence the trajectory of your life. The relationship doesn't define you; your actions and decisions do. Your emotional well-being is invaluable and should always be the priority. Whether that means setting boundaries, seeking professional help, or taking a break to reassess your relationship, always make choices that honor your individuality and emotional health. And remember, you're not alone. Whether you find strength in personal stories, scientific research, or professional guidance, there are resources and people who can help you navigate this difficult terrain. Lastly, no matter how daunting it seems, you have the power to reclaim your life. It's a journey fraught with challenges, but it's also one that offers a reward beyond measure: the restoration of your independence and emotional well-being. Change is possible; it starts with the decision to prioritize yourself. Recommended Reading "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood - A deep dive into the psychology of obsessive relationships. "Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - Offers valuable insights into how attachment styles can influence relationships. "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker - Provides a look into recognizing the signs of dangerous behaviors including obsessive tendencies.
  5. I think I'm love-sick... or maybe it's just an obsession? Either way, I'm feeling so strongly for someone I met recently and I don't know how to move on. This person is full of life, constantly making me feel as though I must be dull in comparison. I mean, I can hold a conversation with ease and laugh at the odd joke, but things like partying, festivals, and moving around just aren't my thing. I don't understand why I choose to stay firmly planted down one path instead of trying to explore different opportunities. Nonetheless, the person I'm into—let's call him Ben—is somewhere beyond amazing. The way he talks to me when we hang out, the way his deep brown eyes captivate me, even when we're just passing by each other—everything just makes me fall further and further away from knowing what reality is and what isn't. It feels almost like I'm being pulled into Ben. It's been about 3 weeks since we first met, and now I find myself trying to dissect every text, analyzing every conversation, and picking apart his words bit by bit looking for things that could possibly make me think he feels the same. I've even obsessed over his music tastes and activities, so much so that I'm listening to the same kind of songs, watching the same videos, etc., just to feel closer to him. I worry I'm going too far, even though I'm worried the opposite will happen and Ben won't end up interested in me at all. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I expect us to be serious right off the bat, but I still want to express what I'm feeling in some way. I feel so deeply for this person and I don't know what to do - have I already jumped too deep? Where do I go from here? How should I act? What should I say? I'm thoroughly lost and unable to come up with any solutions. * * * Being cooly aloof and cautiously exploring the possibilities of a new connection can be difficult when you're feeling deeply for someone. When the ache of unrequited longing reaches its fever pitch, keeping your feelings in check while attempting to figure out the connection between the two of you can seem downright impossible. But with a bit of thought and effort, you can come up with some creative ways to safely express yourself while simultaneously opening the door to a potential relationship. The last thing you want to do right now is to rush into things. Spend some time getting to know yourself and digging into what it is that propelled you down this path in the first place. Far too many times, people turn to external relationships as a way of avoiding dealing with the uncomfortable and sometimes painful inner aspects of themselves. We each contain multitudes, and sometimes we don't want to reckon with those less pleasing parts, so we cling to another person instead. If you are in a place where you can adequately explore the depths of your internal landscape and accept yourself wholly, then you can start to consider sharing a bit more of yourself with Ben. Opening up slowly can allow both of you to form a trust-based connection while also giving you both enough space to explore feelings. Consider discussing how connected you feel, without digging too deeply into specific details. Openly expressing how you feel allows Ben to see inside your heart without pushing or demanding anything. This will help him to better understand why you're so smitten, making it easier for him to open himself up to the same possibilities. Communicating often can also give the two of you something else to bond over, fostering a deeper connection between the two of you. Participate in shared activities. Doing something together can give you both a new experience to talk about and add to your ever-growing catalog of shared memories. If there's something he enjoys that you aren't as familiar with, it's okay to try it out and find out what you both enjoy, understanding that it's difficult to wholly appreciate something until you've actually tried it. These small acts of connecting can elevate your budding relationship to an entirely new level. As always, it's important to remain mindful when it comes to feelings. If they are completely unnecessary and potentially toxic, choose to leave them behind. After all, you owe it to yourself to rest in security and surround yourself with the people who love you and treat you right.
  6. We've all heard the stories of Fatal Attraction - where there is an instant and passionate connection, yet it quickly spirals out of control and becomes dangerous. While parts of these tales are usually exaggerated, there is some truth to the idea that a seemingly innocent attraction can quickly become an all-consuming and potentially life-threatening force. It all begins very innocently - sparks fly, hearts flutter and passions ignite. We may believe that this person offers us something we've been desperately seeking for so long and, for the first time ever, we feel beautiful, desired and powerful. But what begins as joyous bliss can turn into paranoia, anger and eventually paralyzing fear. A disastrous relationship will cause irreversible damage if both people do not seek help in order to make it right again. A pattern of possessive behavior, manipulation and domination often occur in such encounters and can swiftly turn dark, especially if one partner refuses to acknowledge their controlling behavior and take responsibility for their own part in the exchange. With no outlet to express their feelings or have their voices heard, feelings of intense envy, dominance and possessiveness manifest and can lead to unthinkable acts like physical violence or dramatic broken trust. Unfortunately, too many people stay in a situation like this for far too long before reaching out for help. Perhaps it's because their sense of safety has been completely diminished, or the guilt from the money, power or other resources abused has prevented them from leaving. What are the signs that a relationship may have gone too far? If one or both partners experience any of the following, they may be in a fatal attraction: • Extreme jealousy over friends or family • Frequent accusations or suspicions without evidence that the other is unfaithful • An obsession with spending every minute together • Compulsive possessiveness of possessions or money • Refusal to accept "no" or to respect boundaries • Extreme demands to do things against one's will • Insensitive comments about appearance or lifestyle • Outbursts of rage when challenged or questioned • Refusing to accept responsibility for actions or feelings • Unwarranted threats of violence If these signs are present in an intimate relationship it may be time to consider seeking professional help as soon as possible. The effects of this kind of relationship can be devastating - leaving both parties feeling broken and betrayed. It takes strength and effort to make an effort to escape this downward spiral, but it is not impossible. Passions flare then subside in the end. The first step is recognizing that help is needed and making the conscious decision to find a counselor who can help identify and work through the underlying issues separating the partners. Seeking support from trusted friends and family can also help make this difficult process easier. Both parties should be willing to open up and work hard on improving communication skills and reestablishing trust. Through gradual awareness of thought patterns and behaviors each partner can move towards healthy boundaries and begin rebuilding their relationship. Learning healthier ways of expressing yourself is vital - speaking honestly without attacking, hinting, pouting or shutting down. Keeping healthy lines of communication open is essential to prevent hostile discord or criticism. It is important to remember that no matter how intense an attraction is – even a fatal attraction – it can be repaired with patience and willingness to try new coping techniques. Ultimately both people must be committed to being engaged and open to conversations regarding expectations and desires. Fatal attractions can leave a person with deep wounds but healing is possible. Learning about one's own triggers, needs and motivations as well as forging a stronger connection with oneself rather than expecting somebody else to fix everything can also help move through and past the tragedy that a fatal relationship can cause. Awareness is key. For those stuck in this kind of dynamic know that you are not alone and that no matter how dire your situation appears, you have within you the tools needed to make a change.
  7. An obsession can be one of the most debilitating states of being. It can cause a person to become so narrowly focused on one thought or object that it interferes with every aspect of their life. When asked what an obsession is, names such as love, attention, or even food often arise. But an obsession can be anything from a fear of rocks to a fear of social situations. For some, the inability to break through the mental block created by an obsession can be paralyzing. Those who suffer from this completely understand how consumed their thoughts become. Even when faced with logical and rational responses, the obsession still persists. Many feel helpless and caught in their own personal prison. Many experts believe that replacing the intrusive thoughts with something more calming or (even fun) is a key part of overcoming an obsession. Much like a light switching on, the mind can be reprogrammed to enjoy life and move through tasks. What advice do you offer for those struggling with an obsession? The best advice for anyone struggling to break through an obsession is to replace undesirable thoughts with either an affirmation or a positive distraction. This can be done in as little as five minutes a day. Start by first acknowledging and accepting the obsessive thoughts and feelings, without becoming overwhelmed by them. This recognition can help to release some of the pressure and allow room for positivity. Then, identify any triggers that set off the obsessive thought patterns and actively avoid those situations if possible. Once a safe space is created, then the next step is to replace the obsessive thoughts with something more beneficial. This replacement can come in the form of affirmations or positive distractions. Affirmations focus on rewiring your brain to accept positive new thoughts; this could include phrases such as “I am capable and strong” and “I deserve peace and happiness”. Positive distractions are activities that bring joy and take your mind away from the obsessive thoughts; this could range from listening to music, going for a walk, or writing in a journal. Allow yourself this five minutes of direct distraction each day and watch as what was once an obsession fades away. Many people shy away from replacements because they feel guilty or ashamed. It is important to remember that it is okay to want to feel better and it is okay to prioritize mental health. The best thing to say instead of feeling guilty is “It is ok for me to take care of myself.” If obsessive thoughts are still persisting after a few weeks out of routine changes, it could be beneficial to seek professional help. There are many options for therapy, ranging from support groups to one-on-one sessions. With the help of a qualified therapist, a personalized plan can be created that specifically meets the needs of the individual. No matter what path is chosen to overcome an obsession, it is important to remember what is true: You are complete on your own and these obsessive thoughts should not define your worth. Be patient with yourself and take time to reflect on what is best for you. Breaking through these mental blocks may not happen overnight, but with dedication and perseverance it can become a possibility.
  8. From human psychotherapy to business management, the Enneagram test has recently been embedded in different spheres as a mechanism of understanding human behavior on a much deeper level than any preceding practices. As more people are getting familiarized with what the test entails behind it, its popularity is skyrocketing, even amongst those who don’t have any professional inclination towards understanding the intricacies of human psyche. In fact, in most organizational environments, it has become a norm for new entrants and supervisors alike, to be subject to a rigorous ‘enneagram analysis’. Such is the obsession of many that it supersedes any other personality classification system such as Myers-Briggs, Belbin etc. What makes this concept so appealing? As its hypothesis states, the enneagram is a system that consists of nine distinct types of personalities or potential strengths. By taking the test and understanding which type you belong to, you are supposedly able to comprehend which weaknesses you may posses and what opportunities may appeal to you. Those who take the test are categorized, at a macro level, into either ‘Achievers’ or ‘Enthusiasts.’ At first glance, these two terms appear quite self-explanatory, but to delve a little deeper, what lies beneath the labels? Achievers are those who find satisfaction and substance in determination, productivity and perseverance. They rely on being ahead of the curve at all times and are known for their sheer effort and diligence. On the other hand, enthusiasts are sparrows of the same feather but opposite field. They are the ones that thrive in the unknown and ever-shifting grounds of unstable situations and charm. Enthusiasts feed off passion and exhilaration, but at the same time they may flounder when reeled in and shackled by too many rules or boundaries. No doubt both have their faults and hierarchies to juggle. This is exactly why this sweeping phenomenon of the ‘Enneagram Test’ has sparked so much pandemonium. It helps ascertain what one values–be it structure (an advocate of anything ‘Achievers’) or unpredictability (a votary of ‘Enthusiasts’). Once an awareness of your leaning is developed, you can start building upon that. Not only that, you can also better appreciate other people’s strengths and weaknesses according to their own unique mold. The ‘Enneagram Test’ helps restructure how individuals evaluate themselves and others - ultimately contributing to a better overall understanding of humanity. It is realigning the manner in which we perceive our capabilities and unearthing the pinnacle of our ambition and acumen. The question then comes back to you – Are you an ‘Achiever’ or an ‘Enthusiast’? Whatever it may be, understanding which one you are gives room to plenty of opportunity for personal growth.
  9. The question of obsession is one that many of us live and grapple with in our daily lives. We may feel pulled in different directions, unsure of which path to take and sure about the meaning of the feelings that besiege our minds. We can be consumed with thoughts, feeling as though we are out of control. These thoughts can spiral, growing ever deeper and darker, until we feel as if we are drowning in a sea of uncertainty and doubt. Are these newly-realized thoughts a result of obsession? Or, are they merely a way of protecting ourselves from things that could unsettle our fragile worlds? This can be difficult to answer, but is a vital question we must address. When confronted with this issue, it is natural to feel a degree of fear and vulnerability. It can be hard to identify a sense of ownership or authorship when such profound emotions are looming. We may wonder how our actions will come to define us and, more so, if we will ever find ourselves again. In such situations, it is important to bear in mind that obsession does not constitute self-control. It does not mean you are in command of your inner-most thoughts and feelings. Instead, obsession serves only to distort, distract and disconnect. It is possible to possess a certain degree of control without resorting to obsession. For instance, making small changes in everyday life can help us to effectively address and combat the more problematic aspects of our lives. One of the best strategies for avoiding obsession involves understanding our own limitations. This can be incredibly intimidating, as being honest with oneself can be difficult. In addition, we must understand that striving for perfection is a far more harmful endeavor than attempting to perform tasks to an adequate standard. To further comprehend the implications of obsession, consider its relationship to our closest relationships and connections. If we become overly-focused on one person or circumstance, it can lead to feelings of neglect towards those around us. Obsession can cause us to lose touch with reality, living in a never-ending cycle of emotions and reactions. Due to its highly-addictive nature, obsession can have damaging repercussions. It can even manifest itself in physical symptoms, such as exhaustion, headaches and stomachaches. Moreover, failing to differentiate between dedication and obsession can be counter-productive. It is synonymous with a loss of productivity, turning meaningful tasks into ones filled with joylessness and stagnation. Understanding the difference between obsession and self-protection is essential. Seeking understanding is the best way to move beyond the realm of obsession, providing us with the tools to decipher between emotion and rationality. As frightening as this may seem, it is also an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and develop a healthy sense of emotional wellbeing. Wrestling with the complexities of our own minds is a journey that must be experienced in order to be understood. To those asking the question 'Am I obsessed?' the answer is rarely a definitive yes or no. Rather, it is a matter of reflecting on the balance of emotion and reason, and of learning how to maintain equilibrium in life.
  10. Daydreams daydreams Why am I smoking so much? Because it’s like forgetting. Numbing. Clearing my mind, filling my lungs. I just want to breath you in, it’s an obsession I can’t quite grasp or shake. It makes no sense. 
 Quiet calm collected- externally
 Cold shaken resented - internally 
 Explore- I want to. 
Answers- I need to. 
 Questions I can’t quite put together. 
 Crave craze cure
 Is it all insane or am I?! For wanting it this bad and needing you like it’s all I have. Every opportunity flashed like a disk, erased in a brisk bittersweet motion. All these notions Feel like potions I’ve been poisoned. I need this more than you know. Just to know, So you know, I don’t really know Why.
  11. So how does it feel? All this power and so many ways to use it. How does it feel to hold me in your grip Just to let me fall. I didn't show you this side, did I? The obsessive side - the one that can't let go You never knew about the person in my head The monster that I run from everyday. Did you know about my struggles? Did you know about my life? Or what I feel? And what I don't? No, to you there was only a body. No soul inside. A body you used And then left behind I could look ridiculous Hunched over this book Paranoid and intensely depressed But to me it's not strange at all Because this is BPD And if you use me I become attached And if you leave me I become obsessed. So how does it feel? To leave puddles of hell in your wake I slip on each one. To walk away a stud And leave behind a cripple
  12. I am working on a personal statement and most that I've seen (for my field at least) start off the introduction with an anecdote, written in narrative style, or a metaphor, and the first few sentences are captivating and poetic and beautiful and interesting. I need my introduction to be beautiful and draw the readers curiosity. I will paste my introduction and I hope some of you have some ideas on how to rephrase to make it start off better. I should probably explain what the topic is. My essay is going to show how I have different aspects to my personality and different perspectives. The introduction talks about Georgia O'Keefe's patio door paintings. It is the same door but she painted it over and over with a different perspective every time, and in each painting it looks completely different. I am relating this to myself, in that I have many different perspectives and aspects to me which seem completely different but I remain the same person. The door remains the same. But it looks as if it takes on an avatar in each painting. The door is dynamic. I looked at the large wall filled with paintings. They all featured the same subject, a black patio door. It was a subject of fascination and almost obsession for Georgia O'Keefe, who painted that door almost 30 times. These paintings are considered less inspired by some critics, who note their repetitiveness, yet they are, in fact, quite fascinating. O'Keefe painted the patio door with a different perspective in each painting, causing it to look different every time. This insight in perspective, the many perspectives, is very much like the way I think of myself. Thank you
  13. I am so scared that I might have an obsession. I was dating a guy for a couple of months. I started to really have strong feelings for him, because I felt comfortable around him and I thought we had a lot in common. Everything seemed cool, until we got until a disagreement (see the forum "I ruin a potential relationship"). He got mad at me and broke it off with me for a reason til this day has left me confused. Here it is almost two months later,and I still trying to figure out how what is going. He won't give me a clear answer on why he decided to quit the relationship all together. I keep hearing rumors about what he and others have said about the situation, but I want to hear whats going on from his mouth. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him and wonder what is going on. I didn't call him much during this time, but I tried callling him two separate weekends (a few weeks apart) several times, but he still won't talk to me. When I see him in school, I say very little to him and I try to not be in around him (even though it is hard to do in a small school to begin with), because I feel that he will think that I'm stalking him. The only thing I did that was off, was drive by his place, only because I'm confused about what happened and I want answers. I ended up just deleting his number from cell phone and took him off my contact list so I wouldn't be tempted to contact him, but I still think of him. I feel ike its gotten worse, because I sometimes start crying. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I've been in situations where a guy breaks up with me and I move on just fine. However, it scares me that this guy occupies so much of my thoughts when I've only know him since January. I even dream about him sometimes, too. I try to find stories that relate to my situation, but I can't. I think somethng is wrong with me. I really don't know how to let go and accept the fact that I may not get the answers I need. I'm really afraid. Please help me!
  14. Ok, I'm just curious about something and wanted a guys opinion? Why are guys so obsessed with lesbians or two girls kissing etc? I mean I know it's a huge turn on for most of them but I don't get why?
  15. I have chosen to live... that, I do not regret. Though I shall never forgive... for I can never forget. My dreams have unfurled... I've grown sick of the clashes. As you burned down my world... and then rose from the ashes. Hope is lost as pain is wrought... obsession is infernal. Love is but a passing thought... hatred is eternal. For emotional theft... can bring life to its border. And then all that is left... is just Chaos and Order. *Whatever meaning you find in this is up to you, although it personally deals with a specific series of events in my life which have taken their toll on how I perceive this world.*
  16. I have loved with passion and obsession Someone whom I can’t live without I didn’t start with her, neither will I end with? I had fallen head over heels Love like crazy and whom love me back the same way Did I find her? Forget my head and forget my heart. I’m not hearing any. I have run the risk, got hurt, and came back. The truth is there is no sense living your life without this To make the journey and fall deeply in love Well, you haven’t lived a life at all, if you have not to try I have tried, but I haven’t lived.
  17. I haven't written a poem on here before. I know it's not that good but it was spur of the moment and I didn't really try I just wrote down my feelings. After feeling like crap for saying I'm moving on, I know it's for the best, and he's the one who broke us up to begin with...but it still hurts because it feels like I'm giving up and I'm not. I would never give up on him, he has so much potential and I love him, but I can't wait. Obsessed, Because every time the phone rings I expect to hear your voice Obsessed, Because every time I’m online I expect to see your screen name Obsessed, Because every time I hear I miss you I think there’s still a chance Obsessed, Because I every day I see her And remember the love we once shared Obsessed, Because every day I wake up I realize I’ve been without you one day more Obsessed, Because my every thought reminds me I’m hopelessly depressed without you
  18. There is a girl I have a crush on and she dosn't know I exsist. I know what your thinking, just tell her how you feel, right? It's not that easy, I am extremly shy, i cant talk to people I dont know but I'm the most shy around girls, and this ones extremly hot she's like the twin of Jennifer Garner, the actress from ALIAS. What should I do? I'm obsessed with her, she's all I think of and I want her to know this but I just cant figure out how to tell her without her hating me. Please can someone help me?
  19. you probably don't remember me but i remember when we met it was as if i'd drawn you in my mind and suddenly you came alive you probably don't remember me but i remember when you smiled and my eyes filled up with tears and all at once you became the answer you probably don't remember me but i remember everything you said everything you did, every reason why you laughed every time you looked my way you probably don't remember me but someone's left your imprint on my heart and when i think of you it aches so i try not to think of you at all. you probably don't remember me but here i sit at this desk with only your memory to comfort me as another man leaves you probably don't remember me but do you know that nothing compares to you no-one lives up to you, it doesn't match up to you. you left me behind to wait and to want you probably don't remember me but will you answer me this question. is this love, in its selflessness and patience? or does the greed and loneliness i feel without you make it obsession?
  20. Hello everyone This is similar to a post I posted yesterday. I have been married 15 years with no children to a wonderful man, but in Dec 2004, when my pregnant niece, who I love, hosted a dinner party, which my hubby didn't go to, The guests, who were relatives of mine, were discussing someone who had met their new husband on internet. Thinking that I must see what this on-line stuff dating stuff is about, I came accross an adult website and immediately became besotted with this English guy. We chatted a few times and emailed, but he unleashed all these fantasies in me, of having children, being made love to and seduced by an athletic, good-looking confident man, the things that my husband, while he is wonderful and adores me, is not. He I also the most beautiful man I had ever seen and when I eventually found a picture of him on his work website, that didn't change. I could not let my fantasy and obsession go and finally told him about it last Valentine's Day, about 2 months after we began emailing. I was manic as well as obsessive. The UK guy cut off all correspondence and ended up being scared of me and wanting nothing more to do with me, ignoring all subsequent emails. He told me he was getting married and to leave him alone. It hurt how he treated my feelings so callously, yet I kind of understand what he did. He was happy to chat and email as a friend, now he didn't even want that anymore. I should have been in better control of my emotions and judgement, and not escape into fantasy, but I was so frustrated with my marriage. He didn't understand. Now, I have my marriage back, but know that I think of the UK guy often and wonder what he is doing. I sent him two emails in November. He said he would never reply to my emails and true to his word, he hasn't. I have obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression which makes me very slow. Lately, my depression has been worsening as I don't have many friends and my family situation is poor, they need lots of support themselves. I know I love my husband and he loves me and there is no way I am going to hurt him to find someone else. I am tempted to have sex with local guys I have met on the site, but I know I must resist, but sex with strangers makes me feel so good, sexy, desirable and I feel like I have to make up for so much lost time. But this guy is always in my mind. Even if he could have found it in his heart to forgive me for scaring him, and at least care for what I have gone through in the past year, including severe depression and how much I have tried to battle with myself to get over my irrational obsession with him, I would be so much happier, knowing that he still thought of me as a friend and cared about me occasionally and didn't think so poorly of me. I told him I had been diagnosed with manic-depression, and other things, not all my emails to him were scary, but I am mainly depressed now. He did not care to know anything about me and probably prefers he had never met me on-line. It is like the brief email relationship we had was just rubbish. Everyone has said 100% that he will never contact me again. You know people that will never break their word, well I think he is someone like that. I am so sad, I started off with a friend, and now have only ended up being tortured. There are not many other things in life that give me joy. I cannot concentrate on studying. I feel lonely. I care about my mother and know I have to give more to her and to help my sister. But I wonder, was it this guy's turn to be blessed with a new wife and future children. What have I done that I am suffering, not just because of my marriage, but because this UK guy did not understand me and that I meant him no harm? Thank you and sorry for sounding so pathetic. aussiegirl
  21. Have you ever met a man who seemingly looks altogether on the outside, is quiete, calm and successful? Who even seems quiete in social situations and projects an aura of kindness and goodness yet..........when you start getting to know him you realize he is quietely manipulating you in order to gain control, very quietly watches your every move and uses emotional blackmail to make you feel guilty for having friends and other responsibilities? He gives you the world, lots of expensive gifts and seems to be obsessed with you, he tells you you are the most beautiful woman in the world and tells you he knows you are the one. He also lies but gets enraged when confronted and continues to deny these lies or comes up with an explanation you cannot argue with. He also tells you on many occasions that it would excite him to lead a double life.... You also find out that in his last relationship they had "physical fights" yet this man appears to be the perfect gentleman, the perfect boyriend...... How is it possible for a character to be so contradictory? Where do these relationships lead? Anyone ever met a man like this?
  22. I have been trying SO hard to eat heathy this pregnancy. I think a little too hard. I couldn't take it any more so I secretly got into my car to do "errands" and ate a bunch of fast food and sweets. I feel like a restricting/binging eating disordered woman all over again (I had problems with bulimia years ago). I feel so insane. Why do I feel like I have to keep it a secret? Why am I getting obsessed with control until Im uncontrollable? I had to tell someone what a freak I am. Thanks for listening.
  23. i'm done. done on being hung up on people who are not worth it. done with moping around. done with being unable to enjoy life. done with feeling empty and cold. done with feeling down and depressed. done with obsessing about the past. done with blaming myself. done with guilt. done with racking up emotional baggage like a high roller at a slot machine. done with building up emotional turmoil. done with hurting myself. done with making awful mistakes - one after another. done with having to restart every couple of months. done with kicking and beating myself up. done with the dirt. done with the dregs of society. done with manipulative, lying, backstabbing persons. done with bad behavior. done with stealing. done with those who hurt me. done with those who treat me badly or speak to me badly. done with not paying attention to how i'm treated. done with not picking up on my six senses. done with every single freaking rotten thing. im done done done. done with not believing what a person's nonverbal language tells me about them. done with creeps. done with those who burn and break me for no reason other than just because they can. done with bad memories, experiences. done with horror, terror, bloodshed, crying. gotta stop and put an end to the cycle otherwise i will never be able to live well. it's been a really hard road and a hard time. im so sick and tired of being sick and tired. so sick. so tired. so sick and tired.
  24. My obsession/crush/infatuation Is FINALLY OVER. It feels so good. The guy probably wasnt interested, even if he was, I really dont care anymore. I've given him an opportunity to keep in touch with me and he hasnt taken it..so im guessingg Not! A small theory could be that hes very shy/not confident enough(like he was always around me) but... im really not placing any bets on that...and its his loss either way. Did i say i dont care anymore? Meanwhile, Ive been making so many more friends, and meeting so many other people. I cant believe it! but I just dont think of him at all anymore! From 24/7 to probably once a month, I think of him, wonder how hes doing. I feel for everyone else who has a frustrating crush...its really draining. My advice is to get distracted, get a life. If he isnt doing something - FORGET IT! Waste of time and energy really!..There are so many better things/people around you. You just dont want to see it!! until I come up with another problem or random opinions to share.... Crazy
  25. I'm essentially on month 8 of NC (broke it about a month ago when I sent her one of her belongings in the mail-it was expensive and felt she should have it back)...have not spoken to or seen her in that time. For the most part, I'm doing pretty well, but I still seem to have periodic moments of obsessing over the relationship-even will shed a few tears now and then. I know the answer is time, time, time...but when is enough enough? Anyone else find they have this problem?
×
×
  • Create New...