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  1. My husband was supposed to fly out today. They had to fly back here because the hydraulic line on the landing gear ruptured. Came back here for repair. Tried to take off again and had another snag . I hadn’t heard from him in hours so I just aimlessly drove around upset. Came home sat at the black TV screen not seeing anything. Then got word from him that their third attempt to take off is happening . Just sat here crying into my nachos .
  2. My question is for anyone. Why does a guy wish to share his wife/girlfriend with someone else.? we are not taking about swinging here but the pleasure of watching him wife with another men. for ever my husband has asked me to have sex with some of his Friends and i always said no way well 6 month ago i said OK and to my surprise it was Very good. I have had several partners and many repeats,i feel super,not slutty at all, i am far more sexual then i ever thought i was, i have sex all the time,i lost 10 lbs lol. i feel great and it shows.My relation with my husband is equally great, our sex life is hotter then ever,we are closer then ever as well,we talk and hell we even listen.. many of our Friends know about our lifestyle and it sure add to the trill,we dint put it in your face but we don't over hide it as well. i am one of those that has to understand the why for everything, so why is our relation so much better now,why i feel so in control and so...alive your thoughts please. Susan
  3. Creative Gift Ideas for Your Husband Reaching nine years of marriage is a significant milestone that calls for a special celebration. When thinking of gifts for your husband, consider options that resonate with your shared experiences and his personal tastes. A thoughtful, personalized gift not only commemorates this special occasion but also reflects the depth of your relationship. One idea is a custom-made piece, like a personalized watch or a piece of art that captures a memorable moment from your nine years together. These gifts hold sentimental value and serve as a daily reminder of your love and shared journey. Another option could be something related to his hobbies or interests. Whether it's sports equipment, a gadget, or a book of love poems, choosing something that aligns with his passions shows how well you know and appreciate him. For the husband who loves adventures, consider planning a surprise getaway or gifting a travel voucher. This not only gives you both something exciting to look forward to but also offers the opportunity to create new memories together. Alternatively, for those who prefer more intimate celebrations, a handmade gift or a customized playlist of songs that hold special meaning to your relationship can be deeply touching. Experience-based gifts, such as tickets to a concert, a sports event, or a cooking class, are also great ways to celebrate. These experiences can strengthen your bond and offer a fun break from the routine. Lastly, consider subscriptions or memberships that align with his interests, be it a wine club, a magazine subscription, or an online course, to keep the spirit of the anniversary alive throughout the year. Remember, the best gifts are those that show you've put thought into what makes your husband unique and what he enjoys. It's about celebrating him as an individual and your love as a couple. Whatever you choose, make sure it comes from the heart and commemorates the wonderful nine years you've spent together. Crafting the Perfect Anniversary Wish Anniversary wishes are more than just words; they are a reflection of the love and appreciation you have for your husband. Crafting the perfect wish for your 9th marriage anniversary involves a blend of sentiment, authenticity, and personal touch. Start by reflecting on the journey you have shared together, the challenges you've overcome, and the joy you've experienced. Your message should be heartfelt and personal. You could recount a special memory, or highlight qualities in your husband that you admire and appreciate. This could be his sense of humor, his kindness, or the support he's provided over the years. Expressing gratitude for these traits and shared experiences makes your message deeply touching and genuine. Incorporate hopes and dreams for the future in your message. Whether it's continuing to grow together, achieving mutual goals, or simply enjoying each other's company, sharing these thoughts adds a forward-looking and optimistic tone to your wishes. It's also a reaffirmation of your commitment to the relationship and the journey ahead. Humor can also be a wonderful addition to your anniversary message, especially if it's a significant part of your relationship. A light-hearted joke or a playful quip can add a unique and personal touch. However, ensure that the humor is appropriate and in good taste, enhancing the warmth and affection of your message. Conclude your wish with a reaffirmation of your love and commitment. This could be a promise, a vow, or a simple declaration of your love. The closing of your message should leave your husband feeling cherished, appreciated, and looking forward to many more years together. Remember, the most impactful messages are those that come straight from the heart. Planning a Memorable Anniversary Celebration Marking the 9th year of marriage is a testament to love, dedication, and shared experiences. Planning a memorable anniversary celebration involves more than just arranging an event; it's about creating an experience that reflects the essence of your relationship. Start by considering what makes your partnership special. Is it the quiet, intimate moments, or the grand, adventurous experiences that define your journey together? For a truly memorable celebration, personalize every aspect of your event. Whether you're planning a quiet dinner at home, a lavish party, or a getaway, the key is in the details. Personalize your setting with elements that have significance in your relationship, like playing your wedding song or recreating your first date. Decorations, music, and even the menu can be tailored to reflect your journey and tastes as a couple. If a private celebration is more your style, transform your home into a romantic getaway. Use soft lighting, candles, and flowers to create an intimate atmosphere. A homemade meal, perhaps featuring dishes from significant moments in your relationship, can add a deeply personal touch. Don't forget to set aside time for sharing memories and expressing your feelings for each other. For those preferring an outdoor setting, consider a picnic in a place that holds special meaning for you both. This could be where you first met, had your first date, or any location that resonates with your shared history. Incorporate activities that you both enjoy, like stargazing, a walk on the beach, or a bike ride, to make the day more dynamic and memorable. If you're leaning towards a larger celebration, think about hosting a party with close friends and family. This can be a wonderful way to share your joy and gratitude with those who have supported your relationship. A theme that mirrors your wedding or the journey you've taken together can add a unique and nostalgic touch to the celebration. Remember, the most important aspect of your anniversary celebration is that it reflects the love and respect you have for each other. Whether it's a quiet evening or a grand event, the goal is to celebrate the unique bond you share and the wonderful years you've spent together. Rekindling Romance: Tips for a Special Evening Anniversaries are perfect occasions to rekindle the romance and deepen the connection you share with your husband. Planning a special evening that focuses on intimacy and togetherness can reignite the spark that brought you together. Start by creating a setting that is conducive to romance. This could mean dimming the lights, lighting candles, and playing soft music to set the mood. Surprise your husband with a gesture that holds personal significance. It could be recreating your first date, revisiting the place where you got engaged, or simply doing an activity that he loves. The element of surprise adds excitement and shows that you've put thought into making the evening special. Dressing up for the occasion can also add to the romantic atmosphere. Wearing something that your husband loves or that holds special memories can make the evening feel more intimate and special. Complimenting each other and expressing your appreciation for one another's efforts can further enhance the romantic vibe. Consider incorporating a new experience or adventure into your evening. This could be trying a new cuisine, taking a dance class together, or having a nighttime picnic under the stars. New experiences can bring a sense of excitement and novelty to your relationship, strengthening your bond. Finally, ensure that communication is at the heart of your evening. Share your thoughts, dreams, and feelings with each other. Reflect on your journey together and express your aspirations for the future. Deep, meaningful conversations can reinforce your emotional connection and remind you both why you fell in love in the first place. Customizing Your Anniversary Message On your 9th marriage anniversary, a customized message for your husband can make a world of difference. It's not just about the words, but the thought and personal touch behind them. Begin by thinking about what makes your relationship unique. Reflect on inside jokes, pet names, or phrases that hold special meaning for both of you. These personal touches will make your message resonate more deeply. Consider the tone you want to set. A message can be romantic, humorous, nostalgic, or a blend of these elements. Choose a tone that reflects your relationship's dynamics and what you wish to convey. If your relationship thrives on humor, infuse your message with light-hearted jokes or playful anecdotes. For a more sentimental tone, focus on expressing your deep love and appreciation. Integrate personal experiences into your message. Mention specific events or moments that were significant in your past year or throughout your marriage. This not only personalizes the message but also serves as a reminder of the wonderful times you've shared. Remember, it's the small details that often hold the most meaning. Consider writing your message in a unique format. This could be a poem, a short story, or a letter. Each format allows you to express your feelings in different ways, and choosing one that's a bit out of the ordinary can make your message stand out. If you're artistically inclined, you might even illustrate part of your message or create a small scrapbook of memories. Don't shy away from expressing your true feelings. Whether it's gratitude, love, hope, or dreams for the future, let your heart speak. Your husband will appreciate the sincerity and depth of your emotions. Remember, the most impactful messages are those that come straight from the heart. To conclude, sign off your message with a special closing that's unique to your relationship. It could be a phrase you always say to each other, a word that has special significance, or simply a reaffirmation of your love and commitment. This personal touch will make your message memorable and cherished. Incorporating Shared Memories in Your Wishes Shared memories are the tapestry of your relationship, and incorporating them into your 9th marriage anniversary wishes can make them exceptionally poignant and meaningful. Begin by reminiscing about the journey you've had together. Think back to the day you met, your wedding day, vacations you've taken, and even everyday moments that have become treasured memories. Reference specific memories that stand out in your relationship. These could be funny incidents, romantic dates, or significant milestones you've crossed together. Mentioning these moments shows that you cherish every experience you've shared and value the journey you've embarked on together. Use these memories to highlight the growth in your relationship. Reflect on how you've evolved as a couple since those early days. Acknowledging the changes and challenges you've navigated together strengthens the sentiment of your message and celebrates the resilience of your bond. Include memories that are uniquely yours. Every couple has their set of ‘only us’ moments – those experiences that might seem mundane to others but are incredibly special to you. These could be as simple as your evening walks, cooking together, or binge-watching a favorite show. These personal anecdotes add a layer of intimacy to your message. Don't forget to talk about the lessons learned and wisdom gained from these experiences. Whether it's learning to compromise, support each other through tough times, or finding joy in the little things, these insights add depth to your message and acknowledge the ways in which your relationship has enriched your life. Conclude by expressing hope and excitement for future memories. While it's beautiful to look back on the past, it's equally important to look forward with optimism. Share your dreams and aspirations for the years to come, solidifying the promise of more beautiful memories ahead. Expressing Gratitude and Love in Your Message Expressing gratitude and love in your 9th marriage anniversary message to your husband is essential in capturing the essence of your journey together. Start your message by acknowledging the role he plays in your life. Be specific about the qualities that you admire in him, whether it's his strength, kindness, humor, or the way he supports you. This recognition is a powerful expression of gratitude. Reflect on the challenges you've faced together and express gratitude for his support, understanding, and companionship during those times. Recognizing his presence and efforts during difficult periods strengthens the depth of your message and shows appreciation for his role in your life. Share how he has enriched your life. Mention the ways he has contributed to your personal growth, happiness, and the fulfillment of your dreams. This could be through his encouragement, love, or simply by being himself. Acknowledging these contributions highlights the mutual growth in your relationship. Don't forget to express gratitude for the small, everyday moments. These often-overlooked instances, like a morning coffee he makes for you or the way he listens to your day, are the foundation of your relationship. Recognizing these small gestures shows that you value and appreciate his everyday presence. Include how he makes you feel loved and valued. Express your appreciation for his ways of showing love, whether it's through words, actions, or gestures. This not only reinforces your bond but also acknowledges his efforts in maintaining the romance and connection in your relationship. Talk about your shared dreams and future plans. Expressing gratitude for the life you have built together and the excitement for the future adds an optimistic and forward-looking element to your message. It's a way of acknowledging that your journey together is ongoing and filled with potential. Conclude your message with a reaffirmation of your love and commitment. A sincere expression of love, coupled with a promise for the future, can be the most powerful part of your message, encapsulating the depth of your feelings and the strength of your bond. Surprise Elements to Add to Your Anniversary Adding surprise elements to your 9th marriage anniversary can transform it from a simple celebration to an extraordinary and memorable occasion. Begin by considering what would delight your husband. Is there something he's been wanting, a place he's been wishing to visit, or an experience he's been longing to have? A surprise that aligns with his desires shows thoughtfulness and care. Organize a surprise activity that you can enjoy together. This could be anything from a hot air balloon ride to a surprise picnic at a scenic location. The key is to choose something that suits both your personalities and adds a touch of adventure to your celebration. Consider reaching out to friends and family to create a surprise video message compilation. Hearing heartfelt messages from loved ones can add an emotional and personal touch to your anniversary. This gesture shows the effort you've put into making the day special. Surprise him with a gift that he's been subtly or openly hinting at. It could be something as simple as a book by his favorite author or as elaborate as a piece of tech gear he's been eyeing. The joy of receiving something he's been wanting, especially when it's unexpected, can make the day even more special. Lastly, end the day with a small yet significant surprise. This could be a handwritten letter, a special dessert, or a dance in your living room. It's often these simple, intimate moments that leave a lasting impression and make the anniversary truly unforgettable. Renewing Vows: A Touching Gesture for the 9th Year Renewing your vows on your 9th marriage anniversary can be a deeply meaningful and romantic way to reaffirm your commitment to each other. This gesture symbolizes the strength and endurance of your love. Consider choosing a location that holds special significance to both of you, whether it's where you first met, your wedding venue, or a place that has witnessed key moments of your relationship. Personalize your vows to reflect the journey you've shared. Acknowledge the growth and changes you've both experienced, the challenges you've overcome, and the joy you've found in each other. This is an opportunity to express how your love and understanding have deepened over the years. Involve close friends and family in the vow renewal ceremony. Their presence can add warmth and support, celebrating the community that has been part of your journey. Alternatively, a private ceremony can offer an intimate setting to focus solely on each other. Include symbols or rituals that have personal meaning to your relationship in the ceremony. This could be a special song, a reading that resonates with your journey, or a custom that holds significance in your marriage. These elements add depth and intimacy to the renewal of vows. After the vow renewal, celebrate with an activity or reception that mirrors your preferences as a couple. Whether it's a quiet dinner, a gathering with loved ones, or a unique adventure, choose a form of celebration that feels authentic to your relationship. Concluding the day with a reflection on your renewed vows and aspirations for the future can be a beautiful way to end your anniversary. Share your hopes and dreams for the coming years, solidifying the promise and commitment you've just reaffirmed. Looking Ahead: Dreams for the Next Decade As you celebrate your 9th marriage anniversary, it's a perfect time to look ahead and dream about what the next decade holds for your relationship. Begin by envisioning where you see yourselves in ten years. Discuss your hopes, dreams, and the goals you wish to achieve together. This shared vision can serve as a roadmap for your future journey. Consider setting specific goals or milestones you'd like to achieve. These could be related to personal growth, career, family, travel, or any other aspect that is important to both of you. Setting these goals together fosters unity and gives you both something to work towards. Discuss how you can support each other in achieving these dreams. Whether it's through encouragement, taking on shared responsibilities, or making compromises, understanding how you can help each other is key to realizing your dreams. Reflect on the values and principles that you want to uphold in your relationship. As you move into the next decade, reaffirming these core values can help guide your decisions and actions, ensuring that your relationship continues to grow in a healthy and positive direction. Lastly, embrace the unknown and the excitement that comes with it. While it's important to have plans and dreams, being open to unexpected opportunities and experiences can bring a sense of adventure and freshness to your relationship. The Role of Communication in Strengthening Marriage Effective communication is a cornerstone of any strong marriage. As you celebrate your 9th marriage anniversary, it's crucial to recognize the role communication has played in your relationship. Open, honest, and empathetic communication fosters trust and understanding, two essential components of a lasting marriage. Start by reflecting on how you and your husband communicate. Are your conversations open and respectful? Do you feel heard and understood? It's important to practice active listening. This means fully focusing on your partner, understanding their perspective, and responding thoughtfully. Active listening demonstrates respect and care, making your partner feel valued and heard. Incorporating this into your daily interactions can strengthen the bond you share. Non-verbal communication also plays a significant role. Body language, eye contact, and physical touch can convey emotions and feelings sometimes more powerfully than words. Being aware of these non-verbal cues and responding to them can deepen your connection. Conflict resolution is another critical aspect of communication. Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but how you handle them can either strengthen or weaken your bond. Approach conflicts with a mindset of finding a solution that works for both of you, rather than winning an argument. This collaborative approach to problem-solving can significantly enhance your marital harmony. Finally, make time for regular, meaningful conversations. Whether it's a daily check-in or a weekly date night, having dedicated time to talk about your feelings, experiences, and dreams can keep the lines of communication open and vibrant in your marriage. Overcoming Challenges Together: Lessons from 9 Years Nine years of marriage inevitably include both highs and lows. Reflecting on how you and your husband have navigated challenges together can provide valuable insights and strengthen your relationship. Think about the obstacles you've faced, whether they were personal, professional, or as a couple. What strategies did you use to overcome them? What did these experiences teach you about each other and your relationship? One key lesson is the importance of teamwork. Facing challenges together, rather than as individuals, fosters a sense of partnership and solidarity. Whether it's financial struggles, health issues, or family conflicts, tackling them as a united front can make you stronger as a couple. Resilience is another crucial lesson. The ability to bounce back from setbacks and maintain a positive outlook is essential for a lasting marriage. Reflect on how you've supported each other through tough times and how these experiences have made your bond more resilient. Adaptability is also important. Life often throws unexpected curveballs, and being able to adapt to changes is vital for a healthy relationship. How have you and your husband adjusted to new circumstances or changes over the years? This ability to pivot and grow together is a testament to the strength of your marriage. Lastly, recognize the power of forgiveness and healing. Holding onto grudges or past mistakes can hinder the growth of your relationship. Learning to forgive and move forward not only heals wounds but also deepens trust and intimacy. FAQs on Celebrating Marriage Anniversaries Q: How can we make our marriage anniversary special? A: Making your marriage anniversary special involves personalizing the celebration to reflect your relationship. This could be through a meaningful activity, a sentimental gift, or simply spending quality time together. Consider what makes your relationship unique and plan something that both of you will cherish and enjoy. Q: Is it important to exchange gifts on anniversaries? A: While exchanging gifts can be a lovely way to commemorate an anniversary, it's not mandatory. The most important aspect is the thought and love put into the celebration, regardless of whether it involves gifts. For some couples, creating memories or spending time together is more meaningful than physical presents. Q: How can we keep our anniversary celebration budget-friendly? A: A memorable anniversary celebration doesn't have to be expensive. Consider homemade gifts, a picnic in a special spot, or a movie night with your favorite films. The key is to focus on the sentiment and the connection you share, rather than the cost of the celebration. Q: Should we involve family and friends in our anniversary celebration? A: Involving family and friends depends on your personal preferences. Some couples prefer a private celebration, while others enjoy sharing the occasion with their loved ones. Consider what feels right for you and your partner, and plan accordingly. Q: How can we incorporate traditional anniversary symbols into our celebration? A: Each anniversary year has traditional symbols associated with it. For example, the 9th anniversary is often represented by pottery or willow. You can incorporate these symbols into gifts, decorations, or activities to add a traditional touch to your celebration. Q: What are some unique ways to celebrate an anniversary at home? A: Celebrating an anniversary at home can be incredibly special. You could cook a fancy dinner together, create a home cinema to watch your wedding video or favorite movies, have a themed party for two, or simply spend the day reminiscing and dreaming about the future. The key is to make the day feel different from your usual routine, filled with love and appreciation for each other.
  4. The Art and Science of Anniversary Wishes The practice of sending marriage anniversary wishes to one's spouse is an age-old tradition. These wishes are more than just words; they encapsulate the sentiments, experiences, and emotions shared between partners over the years. When it comes to crafting the perfect message for your husband, it is important to convey your feelings authentically and deeply. Scientific research has often pointed to the importance of anniversaries in cementing and celebrating a couple's bond. Dr. Lillian Glass, a renowned communication expert, suggests that anniversaries provide an opportunity for couples to "reconnect, reflect and rekindle" their relationship. Sending an impactful message is one of the best ways to initiate this reconnection. In this guide, we will explore five unique ways to express your feelings to your husband on your anniversary, delve into the psychology behind each method, and offer some compelling marriage anniversary wishes for your husband. Let's dive deep into this journey of love and words. 1. The Sentimental Message: Tapping Into Shared Memories One of the most effective ways to express your love is by reminiscing about the beautiful moments you've shared together. This type of message taps into shared memories, making them powerful tools for strengthening bonds. According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, couples who regularly reminisce and share memories tend to have stronger emotional connections. Shared memories act as reminders of the journey you've embarked on together and the challenges you've overcome. Example: "Remember the time we got caught in the rain on our second date? It feels like yesterday. Every moment with you has been an adventure, and I cherish every memory we've made together. Happy Anniversary, my love!" The above message combines humor, nostalgia, and sentimentality, striking a chord in your husband's heart. 2. The Compliment Message: Celebrating His Unique Qualities Another powerful method is acknowledging and celebrating the unique qualities that make your husband special. By pinpointing specific traits or actions, you not only make your message more personal but also boost his self-esteem. Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist and renowned marriage expert, emphasizes the importance of admiration in relationships. His studies suggest that couples who express admiration toward each other are more likely to stay together. Example: "Over the years, your resilience, kindness, and unwavering support have left me in awe. I'm so grateful to have such a strong and caring partner by my side. Happy Anniversary to the most amazing husband!" Such a message reaffirms your husband's positive attributes, making him feel valued and appreciated. 3. The Promise Message: Reaffirming Your Commitment Anniversaries are also moments to reaffirm the commitment and promises you've made to each other. This type of message offers assurance and signifies the enduring nature of your love. In her book "The Science of Trust," Dr. Sue Johnson explains that security and assurance are pillars of a lasting relationship. By reiterating your commitment, you fortify these pillars. Example: "Every year with you feels like a promise renewed. I vow, once again, to stand by you, to cherish you, and to grow with you. Here's to many more years of love and togetherness. Happy Anniversary!" This message underscores the depth of your commitment and the anticipation of many more years together. 4. The Future-Oriented Message: Looking Forward to Tomorrow While it's wonderful to look back at shared memories, it's equally essential to set your sights on the future. A future-oriented message emphasizes the continuation of the journey, filled with hope and aspirations for the years to come. Research from the University of California suggests that couples who make future plans together, envisioning shared experiences, are likely to have stronger bonds. It's the mutual anticipation of future moments that cements their connection. Example: "While we have countless memories to look back upon, it's the thought of all our tomorrows that excites me the most. Here's to creating more beautiful memories, facing new adventures, and building our dreams together. Cheers to our future, and Happy Anniversary!" This type of message underscores a sense of excitement for the future, offering hope and anticipation for more cherished moments together. 5. The Gratitude Message: Expressing Thanks for His Presence Last but certainly not least, expressing gratitude for the little and big things he does can make a world of difference. A simple 'thank you' can evoke deep emotions and convey profound love. According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, gratitude plays a pivotal role in relationship satisfaction. The act of recognizing and appreciating one's partner's efforts can significantly enhance the bond between couples. Example: "For every time you held my hand during the storms, for every laugh we shared under the sun, and for simply being my rock, I thank you. Having you by my side is the greatest gift, and I am eternally grateful. Happy Anniversary to the man who fills my life with gratitude every day." A gratitude-filled message makes your husband feel acknowledged, reinforcing the importance of his role in your life. Conclusion: Crafting the Perfect Marriage Anniversary Wish for Your Husband Anniversary wishes are more than just words. They are sentiments that echo the love, experiences, and emotions shared between partners. Crafting a heartfelt message that resonates with your husband involves a blend of memories, admiration, promises, future aspirations, and gratitude. By incorporating these elements, your anniversary message will not only convey your feelings but also fortify the bond you share. As you celebrate another milestone in your journey of love, remember that the essence of your message lies in its sincerity. Whether you choose to walk down memory lane, appreciate his unique qualities, reaffirm your commitment, envision a shared future, or express gratitude, ensure that your words come straight from the heart. Every anniversary is a testament to your enduring love story. So, here's to love, laughter, and happily ever after. Happy crafting!
  5. The Significance of the Five-Year Milestone Your fifth wedding anniversary is more than just a date on the calendar; it symbolizes the strength, trust, and love you've built together over half a decade. With every passing year, your relationship has grown, evolved, and faced countless challenges. Celebrating five years of marital bliss not only honors the bond you share but also paves the way for the many more years to come. Studies suggest that the five-year mark is a critical juncture in any relationship. According to Dr. John Gottman, renowned marriage expert, couples who cross the five-year threshold have a higher chance of staying together in the long run. This is because, by this time, most couples have navigated through the initial stages of marriage, including adjusting to living together, potential financial woes, and maybe even starting a family. The resilience shown during these times plays a crucial role in the relationship's future success. Given the significance of this milestone, it's no wonder that couples want to mark it with a gift that's both meaningful and unforgettable. If you're looking for the perfect gift for your husband on your fifth wedding anniversary, this article is here to guide you. The traditional gift for the fifth anniversary is wood, which symbolizes strength, stability, and longevity in a marriage. However, in the modern era, there are countless other options to explore. So, let's dive deep into some unforgettable gifts your husband will cherish. 1. A Wooden Timepiece: Timelessness Meets Tradition A watch is always a classic gift, but for your fifth anniversary, consider giving it a twist with a wooden timepiece. Wood watches have gained popularity in recent years for their unique look and eco-friendly nature. They perfectly encapsulate the essence of five years: time tested, enduring, and ever-growing. When choosing a wooden watch, ensure it's from a reputable brand that uses sustainable practices. Check for certifications or credentials that vouch for the authenticity and quality of the wood used. Furthermore, you can make this gift even more personal by engraving a special message or date on the back. Research has shown that gifts with a personal touch are valued more and evoke stronger emotional responses. A study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that personalized gifts, even simple ones, can strengthen the bond between the giver and the recipient. 2. Adventure Together: Plan an Outdoorsy Getaway Instead of physical gifts, consider giving the gift of experience. Memories made together can often outweigh material possessions in the grand scheme of things. For the couple who loves nature and adventure, planning an outdoorsy getaway can be the perfect way to celebrate five years together. From hiking in the mountains to camping under the stars or even a tranquil retreat in a log cabin, the possibilities are endless. Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, suggests that experiences bring more lasting happiness than material possessions. His research indicates that experiential purchases, such as travel or outings, provide more enduring pleasure and are more effective in improving relationships. 3. Customized Wooden Art: A Memory That Lasts Transform a cherished memory or photo into a beautiful piece of wooden art. Many artists and craftsmen now offer services where they carve or print your selected image onto a piece of wood, turning it into a lasting keepsake. The beauty of wood is its ability to age gracefully. As years pass, the wood may develop a rich patina, much like the way memories become more cherished with time. This gift is not only a nod to the traditional wood theme but also a timeless piece that can be passed down through generations. 4. Wooden Accessories: Functional Yet Stylish While jewelry might be a go-to gift for women, men too can appreciate stylish and functional accessories. Consider gifting your husband wooden cufflinks, tie pins, or even a sleek wooden bowtie. These unique items not only stand out but also add a touch of sophistication to any outfit. The key to choosing the right accessory is to consider your husband's personal style and preferences. If he's someone who enjoys making a statement, a bold wooden piece might be perfect. However, for those who prefer subtlety, there are many minimalist designs available that blend seamlessly with any ensemble. 5. Wooden Gadgets and Tech Accessories In today's digital age, gadgets and tech accessories have become an integral part of our lives. Surprise your tech-savvy husband with a wooden gadget or accessory. From wooden phone cases to laptop stands or even wireless chargers made of wood, there are myriad options available that combine technology with the rustic charm of wood. Selecting a tech accessory that aligns with your husband's needs and preferences will show that you've put thought into the gift. Moreover, these wooden tech items are not just aesthetically pleasing but also functional, ensuring that your gift will be used and appreciated daily. 6. Handcrafted Wooden Furniture: A Testament to Longevity Much like your five-year-long relationship, well-crafted wooden furniture stands as a testament to durability, resilience, and lasting beauty. Whether it's a sleek coffee table, a charming bookshelf, or a custom-made chair tailored to your husband's taste, gifting a piece of furniture can be both symbolic and practical. While choosing furniture, it's essential to pay attention to the craftsmanship. The intricate detailing, the quality of wood, and the finishing touch speak volumes about its longevity. Furniture isn't just a physical object; it becomes an integral part of your living space, holding memories and moments of everyday life. In a study conducted by the Journal of Environmental Psychology, it was discovered that personalizing one's space can positively influence emotions and well-being. A piece of furniture, especially one that commemorates such a significant milestone, can contribute to creating a space filled with warmth, love, and cherished memories. Moreover, this can be an investment not just in terms of money but also in the relationship. Every time your husband uses or looks at the piece, he'll be reminded of the special bond you share and the thoughtfulness behind the gift. 7. A Journey Through Words: Personalized Wooden Book or Journal Words have a unique power to capture emotions, memories, and dreams. Gifting your husband a personalized wooden book or journal can be a way for him to pen down thoughts, dreams, or even sketches. The wooden cover not only aligns with the traditional fifth-anniversary gift theme but also adds a touch of elegance and timelessness to the journal. Consider getting a meaningful quote, a significant date, or even both of your initials engraved on the cover. Every time he writes or sketches, he'll be reminded of your journey together. And over time, this journal can become a tangible representation of memories, thoughts, and aspirations. Neuroscience research has shown that writing, whether it's journaling emotions or noting down memories, has therapeutic effects. Dr. James W. Pennebaker from the University of Texas discovered that regular journaling strengthens immune cells and has positive effects on health. A journal, therefore, isn't just a gift of paper and wood, but a gift of well-being and introspection. To wrap up, the fifth wedding anniversary is a celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The best way to commemorate this special day is by giving a gift that reflects the depth of your feelings and the strength of your bond. Remember, it's not the price tag that matters but the thought and effort you put into choosing the perfect gift. Whether it's a timeless wooden timepiece or an adventurous getaway, the most important thing is that it comes from the heart. Further Reading and Resources 1. "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by Dr. John Gottman 2. "Why We Buy: The Science of Shopping" by Paco Underhill 3. "Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending" by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton
  6. When faced with a difficult decision in your marriage, it's likely that things could escalate and result in threats of destruction. If you find yourself in the situation where your husband is threatening to burn the house down if you leave, here are some tips for what to do next. The first thing you need to do is assess the seriousness of the threat. Although it's common for tempers to flare during heated arguments, they usually don't result in physical confrontation. But it's important to be aware of any potential danger that could arise. Does your husband have access to flammable liquids, matches or lighters? Or any other means to burn down the house? It may seem like a silly question, however, it's crucial to know what kind of supplies he has access to and to take proper precautions. Once you've determined the seriousness of the threat, it's time to call for help. Make sure to tell your close friends or family members of your circumstances so someone can be available to step in should it come to that. In addition, you may also want to make contact with a lawyer who can explain your rights throughout the process and provide advice in case things get worse. Your safety should always be your top priority. Before leaving, take time to establish a plan of how to exit the house safely. Create diversions if necessary and inform neighbors or fellow citizens in case of any emergency. It might be worth setting up meetings with the police to not only advise them of the situation but to also guarantee your safety when you leave. If you find that there are others living in the house besides you and your husband, it's essential to defer to their wellbeing as well. Depending on their age, they may need additional counseling before they're able to manage the intensity of the situation. Consider seeking professional advice to learn coping skills that may be shared with your family. In addition to surrounding yourself with a supportive network of people, it's important to remember to stay strong and focused. Take time to connect with yourself; engage in activities that nourish your body, mind and soul. Lean on friends and family for their encouragement and comfort during this troubled time. The power of positive thinking can have an impact on your mental health and can help strengthen your resolve and increase your hope for a better future. It's key to maintain control over the situation, to remain rational and to focus on keeping yourself safe. There's no doubt that making the decision to leave a relationship is a huge challenge and it can become even more intimidating when the consequences of doing so are threatened. By utilizing the tips mentioned above, you'll be better equipped to recognize the seriousness of the threat and seek out resources needed to secure you and your family's safety.
  7. Dear eNotAlone: My husband and his best friend have been close friends since high school. For the past few months, I think his best friend has started to develop romantic feelings towards me and it's making things really awkward and uncomfortable. The problem is that my husband loves this guy and doesn't know how to handle the situation. Even though I don't feel the same way, I'm worried about how my husband will handle it when he finds out. * * * Sometimes, being attracted to a close friend of your husband can be a difficult situation to navigate. People often fear that addressing these feelings to their spouse won't lead to the best outcome. In such situations, it is important to remember a few key points. Firstly, it is essential not to allow feelings for the other person to become an obsession. When talking about a close friend of your husband, the focus should be kept on maintaining a positive relationship with your husband . You should also avoid any kind of romantic behavior with the other person. This may be something as simple as keeping physical distance in social situations or making sure to stay out of one-on-one conversations. Instead, concentrate on strengthening the relationship you have with your partner. Secondly, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner if these feelings start to arise. While you don't have to tell them everything, it is important to be as candid as possible about what is going on for you. If you are feeling a strong attraction to someone else, tell your partner about it. Don't try to downplay the situation or pretend like nothing is happening. Your partner deserves to know and understand what is going on. Be prepared for the fact that your partner may not take it well. It can be difficult to accept that one's significant other has feelings for someone else, even if those feelings are not acted upon. Make sure to give your partner some space to think and process the situation without rushing them into anything. Let them know that they can talk to you whenever they need to, and that it is okay to express any hurt, anger, or confusion that they may be feeling. Navigating an attraction for a close friend of your husband can be a complicated situation, but with open and honest communication, it is possible to get through it. It can difficult, but ultimately working through it can strengthen your relationship with your partner, allowing both of you to move forward in a healthier and happier way.
  8. I was starting to wonder if perhaps I wasn't being honest with myself. After all, I hadn't even blinked at the idea of going on vacation without my husband. I know it may seem crazy to admit, but as I packed my suitcase for a two-week trip, I had not thought about my husband one single time. My heart raced in my chest and I felt guilty. After we got married three years ago, I had promised him and myself that I would love him unconditionally. So why was I so enthusiastically taking this vacation with my friends, while my husband was home toiling away at the office day after day? Was there something wrong with me or did it just mean that I had grown accustomed to his presence? The night before our flight, I lay awake trying to make sense of the recent events in my life. I was surprised by how quickly I had managed to adjust to the idea of two weeks without my other half. Though I was initially fretting the relocation, I was soon filled with an unexpected sense of liberation. As much as I missed my husband, I had a strong urge to explore things on my own and be independent. My vacation flew by in a flurry of events. I laughed, collected new experiences, and found solace in the kindness of strangers. But when I returned home, the guilt still lingered in my heart. I thought I had mustered enough proof to prove to myself that I didn't miss my husband as much as I should have. But then it happened. I opened the door of our house and the first thing I heard were his footsteps. Before I even saw him, I knew what the smell of his cologne would be like, and I suddenly longed for his presence. In that moment, I realized that I had merely grown comfortable in our relationship and not indifferent to him. I knew that is was okay to take a break from our marriage and miss him - missing someone doesn't mean you don't love them. So no, taking a vacation without my husband doesn't mean that I don't love him. Instead, it was a reminder of how much our relationship has evolved over the years. We can now go and do our own thing and still come back together and remain connected, more than ever.
  9. The clouds were heavy, and the grey sky relentlessly bore down on the small home. One woman in particular was baring an intense weight of emotion - the first time in a long time she found herself alone after the sudden loss of her husband's long standing six-figure job. She was lost in her thoughts, she was left wondering what do when the future she carefully tailored seemed to vanish overnight. It was almost as if a charming illusion that gave the facade of luck and safety beneath them had faded altogether – the string of fate had snapped and with it the momentous notion of stability. The deed was done; her husband had been laid off and the secret of how to keep pushing forward was stirred in their minds with no solution to be found. As if time had stopped still for that moment after he break the news, she soon found her feet as she reassessed her new reality. Women today face loneliness, abandonment, and misberging emotions during or after a divorce. But she was determined not to move straight into despair and despair, but to search for something more. The lack of a financial foundation was initially concerning, but she soon realized that a man or a large career did not define her existence - she could take control and become self-determined. In times of darkness and turmoil, we can often be clouded by fear, anxiety, and sadness. It is essential to learn how to build yourself back up and redirect your thoughts to something more positive and productive. For starters, cultivating connections in the form of healthy relationships with family and friends may help restore a sense of purpose. Rediscovering hobbies and passions can work wonders too. Not only can these activities bring joy and productivity during tough times, but they also foster creativity, mindfulness and self-confidence. So rather than letting the situation bring her down and cowering into a corner, she refuses to give up her identity. Additionally, taking an educational course, attending events and seminars, or volunteering in your local community are priceless methods of self-growth, even if a hectic life schedule means you can only commit to a few hours each week. Moreover, normalizing the transition is important for recovery. Seeking out outside perspectives, such as professional counseling or health advice, can go a long way in helping you emotionally and mentally transit. Last but not least, cultivating a spiritual connection, whether through meditation or joining a faith-based organization,is a great way of gleaning appreciation for one’s self, even in hard times. This might include joining support groups and or reading articles online that addresses divorce matters, leaving room for compassion and understanding. Many roads will look uncertain and disruptive to one’s life when faced with a major transition such as a divorce. It is understandable to feel fear and distress, but strength comes in finding personal accountability as a new avenue to embrace. Taking this opportunity to relish new personalities, ideas and experiences can open our eyes to meaningful revelations on a path to true healing, fulfillment, and growth.
  10. I loved being a mother, but there were times when I felt like I was an utter failure. Times when it seemed like everything my husband did was perfect. As if he was a better mom than me; his experience and patience sank the notch in my self-esteem even lower. Low enough to make me feel worthless and weak, unable to keep up with him or be as great a parent as he was. I wanted to love every moment with my children, but his stellar parenting felt like a heavy burden, one that quickly brought me down and left me feeling inadequate and out of sync. It's easy for couples to feel competitive about parenting, especially when one of them is excelling beyond the other. This can turn into feelings of envy, making all the positive parenting moments seem to dim compared to his inexperience. But just because your partner is more successful in this area doesn't make you any less of a parent. It's healthy to appreciate your own successes, while also giving recognition where it is due. This helps you build a strong relationship with your partner, so that you can both thrive as parents. Take time to identify where your strengths lie and celebrate those differences. Maybe you're naturally more patient, or better able to understand how your children are feeling in any given situation. You can use this to complement your partner’s characteristics, and find ways to collaborate even when you're feeling overwhelmed. At times, it can feel daunting to reach out for support, but communicating openly with your partner is essential. Being honest about your emotions helps set the stage for an environment that welcomes problem solving and collaboration. Rather than letting jealousy and insecurity take over, express yourself and your feelings to your partner when needed. Doing so should reassure you that the two of you are in this together, rather than competing over who’s the best parent. Acknowledge their efforts and reward his stellar parenting. Offer a round of applause, recognize his dedication and congratulate him for his successes. He may not require the credit, but it’s important to let him know that you value and appreciate his work. Look out for each other and help your significant other whenever possible. Offer to take on tasks that are easier for you, or be a sounding board for potential solutions. Even the smallest things can mean a lot for your spouse’s parenting skill set; it'll show them that you care about what they're doing and that you both want it to succeed. Refocusing the lens on yourself can also be incredibly rewarding. Self-care should be first and foremost when times are tough. Create time and space to admire the little things that you do that make you a difference. Doing something as simple as writing out a few accomplishments and successes of your own can make all the difference in helping you gain some perspective. Also remember that there is no “one size fits all” approach to parenting; your parenting style is a direct reflection of who you are and what your family believes in—not your partner’s. Being aware of the negative thoughts and feelings that arise when your partner’s parenting seems flawless can help you manage those feelings in a healthier way. Don’t underestimate the power of your own capabilities, respect your partner's methods, and focus on your own unique parenting narrative. Together these steps can help ensure that your parenting relationship is one that long lasts, despite your different approaches.
  11. The phrase “home is where the heart is” perfectly encapsulates the emotional aspects of having a home—it is the place that provides peace and comfort. Imagine then, when home is no longer a source of solace to a spouse whose husband works remotely. Working from home often means blurring the line between being on the job and off, so it can be difficult for partners of remote employees to know where to draw the boundaries in order to avoid becoming overwhelmed. When home is also your partner's workplace, the whole dynamic can easily throw you off balance. The work will always come first due to the fact that there is more riding on the employee’s professional performance than the wellbeing of the relationship. This can make those working from home more focused on themselves, which may allow certain problems that are already present in the relationship to fester without being addressed. It is important to find ways of coping in order to create a happy and welcoming home environment. Communication between partners is key to a successful marriage and both parties need to be transparent about their worries, hopes and dreams. If a spouse feels like her husband is not taking the time to listen to her feelings and concerns, then it is important for her to vocalize them despite possible resistance from him because working remotely could actually mean more demands instead of less. This can leave one partner feeling neglected or pushed aside and she needs to communicate her needs if her husband is to understand and be responsive to them. It is also necessary to create quality moments to reconnect on a regular basis. These moments should be like a little escape from the everyday struggles of life. This can range from planning regular get-aways to simply spending quality time together at home. Taking the time to bond over conversations, hobbies and interests, or simple activities like cooking together can help strengthen the connection between both parties and make life at home a bit more bearable. In order to keep a strong relationship while her husband works remotely, it is important that the spouse of the employee finds activities to occupy herself. This may include picking up new skills or hobbies, catching up with friends and family regularly, exploring an area of interest or developing a professional network. Self-care should also be prioritized through activities like exercise, eating healthy meals and getting enough sleep which will boost her physical and psychological health. In the pursuit of these goals, it is vital for a spouse to set boundaries and avoid becoming too dependent on her partner. Finally, spouses of remote employees should be aware of their own triggers in terms of overwhelm and stress. Relationships are full of give and take and learning to cope with each partner’s unique abilities and limitations is essential for a peaceful marriage. Acknowledging these things can give couples the tools to establish a successful home environment even in the most stressful times.
  12. Last night I found a picture of a naked woman in my husband's cell. It makes me feel very unappreciated. Actually, it really hurts me a lot. I told him earlier in our relationship how offensive that kind of behavior from a man is to me. It's not like he doesn't know this already! He has a topless photo of me. Yet, he has a photo of some woman he doesn't know. I know that men look at other women, but I think it's crossing the line a bit when they have photos of women when they are in a relationship. We've only been married for 6 months Why is he doing this? I don't know what to do. Desiree'
  13. Whenever my teenage sons play Grand Theft Auto, I get depressed and make them turn off the sound. I had been separated from my husband for about 3 weeks, and the children and I had been in our new rental home for less than a week. I had the weight of the lives and futures of our four small children on my shoulders. The phone rang; it was my mom. She told me that a little while before, a plane had crashed into one of the twin towers in NYC, and the building was burning. No one understood how a huge plane like that, full of passengers, had gotten into the wrong airspace. While we were on the phone, she said, "Oh no, another plane has just crashed into the other tower!" While we were crying, and trying to sort out these horrors, she said the news was reporting that a plane had just hit the Pentagon, which is about 10 miles from my home. She said there was a fourth plane missing. The authorities were afraid it was headed for the White House or Congress. After we learned the whole story, each subsequent detail unfolding as we spoke, I said, "You are kidding, right?" She said, "I wish I were. I am so sorry, honey." Incomprehensible. So much carnage, so much hatred, so much loss. The rest of the day, there was no sound anywhere in the entire region. No airplanes, no helicopters, no traffic, no music. The only sound, relentless all day and the next two or three days, was of sirens. Everywhere, sirens. Never a break from the sirens. I cannot tolerate more than 2 minutes of Grand Theft Auto, or my heart is dragged defenselessly to that clear September day.
  14. Something we can all relate to at some stage in our lives, hope you enjoy it, my latest. No Shame in Crying To those who plead for another go, And the many who crave for a chance to grow, Tears of despair and hope filling their eyes, How admirable they may be for trying, There sure is no shame in crying. To the man on the street corner pleading for a simple dollar, Yearning for the donation of a passing by scholar, Aimlessly they appear to wander without a single care, Whilst the man's hopes of redemption are slowly dying, He sees no shame in crying. To the girl who simply seeks to eradicate adversity, a star in the making, Slowly her hopes and dreams are awakening, The whole world her stage, she's relinquished her lifelong facade, As her friends occupy their materialistic minds with each pair of shoes they are buying, She sees no shame in crying. To the men and women who witness the changing of lives, Of mothers, fathers, children, husbands and wives, Each day a symbol of persistent pride and triumphant tenacity, Their courage and service to humankind never denying, They see no shame in crying. To the teenage romantic who's doing it tough, Tired of being belittled and told they aren't good enough, The genuine battlers whose hearts are made of pure gold, Forget the doubters and keep on trying, Because there really is no shame in crying.
  15. What songs make you think of the love or un-love your wife/husband, gf/bf, or ex? Post why for each song as well!
  16. Hi, I am 23 years old and my husband is 40. I have never been concerned much with our age difference. However, recently, I have been a little depressed. It seems like everybody around me thinks that such a relationship is sick. I am embarrased to talk about my husband because I am afraid to be asked about his age. I would like to talk to somebody who is in a simmilar situation.
  17. Hey everyone. I found this awesome thing on the internet that allows you to edit a video with a picture that you wish. It makes for a very fun and nice surprise or gift for a family member, like your father or something. Or even a nice surprise for your significant other (boyfriend/husband). Have a look it is really cool: (And lol.. the picture I have on this is from my father at my sister's wedding back in 1994 lol It is so hilarious so I had to use it) link removed P.S: He was extremely happy and laughing for a good 5 minutes over this lol.
  18. I never thought I would be the kind of woman to have an affair but I did. 2 years ago I befriended a married man. I too am married, he for 6 years me for 12. He's 2 years my senior. We are both from the same social dance club, meeting about 3 times a week. We started out as simply good friends but the sparks flew and 6 months ago we started the affair. Even before I came into the picture he was having problems with his wife, both financially and romantically. Many times they almost headed to the divorce courts. I know this to be true as his wife confided in me intially too. But she and I had a major falling out back on new year's day. Ever since then she stopped accompaning her husband to the dance sessions. She kept feeling pangs of jealousy and felt hurt that her husband would choose to go out with his friends, a group of about 6 of us, and esp me, rather than spend time with her and they have not been on talking terms for about a month. Just last week things exploded. She and I had a major confrontation and had a shouting match with all kinds of nasty name calling in PUBLIC. Since then my lover started acting cold towards me. Normally we would talk for hours over the phone everyday but suddenly he stopped for 4 days, no msgs, no calls, nothing. I confronted him a few days back and we too had a shouting match of our own. He said that he felt scared of me and that he couldn't trust me anymore. He felt that I had purposely picked a fight with his wife so that she would leave him and he would choose to be with me. That is completely not true. I have my own family and would never go to him even if he split with his wife or me with my husband. We had this agreement right from the start. I felt so hurt and betrayed that he could think this of me. After tempers cooled we managed to talk for about 1/2 hr and agreed that we should stop being romatically involved. We also agreed to stay friends. The problem is this - We still will meet every week and my heart hurts so bad it feels like its going to burst. I've gotten so used to talking and messaging every day I feel so lost without it. Also I don't want to avoid him when we go dancing then everyone who saw me arguing with his wife will know it's true I slept with him. There has never been any proof because we never dated, only meeting occasionally in hotels. We have denied and denied and denied every rumour and I have to keep up the charade. How do I go on? How do I keep up this charade and not fall apart completely? I can't not go to the sessions then MY husband will get suspicious because he knows I love dancing too much to ever just stop for no reason. I hope someone can make sense of what I'm feeling but I think the main reason I'm posting this msg is that I can't talk about this to anyone. I think I just need some release. But if anyone can help, I'd be extremely grateful. Thank you for letting me get everything off my chest.
  19. My husband and I have been together for 11 years. It has finally sunk in (duh) that he is seriously addicted to pornography. When we first started dating, I found some porn at his apartment & he rationalized: single, no girlfriend, etc. I'm not dumb, I know guys are visual, & though it bothered me a little, I let it go. Sadly, this behavior has continued throughout the last 8+ years of our marriage as well. I have regularly found magazines & videos stashed in various places - only once or twice by deliberately looking, otherwise, just by chance - flipping the mattress, packing for vacation, etc. In the past year or so, it seems to be getting worse, or he's getting more careless. I have found tokens to masturbate in a booth in a porn store, several movies, magazines, PC downloads. About a month ago, while packing for a weekend away I found more than a dozen videos & DVD's, each several hours long with multiple HARD CORE scenarios (more than 50 hours worth). I flew into an absolute rage. Although we have talked and argued about this in the past, I completely snapped & broke every last one of them. After things cooled, I finally convinced myself - after 11 years - that there was simply no point in getting so upset. He is going to do this and it's not a personal reflection on me. It used to make me feel ugly & un-sexy & pretty depressed. It finally dawned on me that I'm OK - a dean's list student who still fits in her wedding dress & get's flirted with by guys 10 years younger (blush...) & I just can't help it (& don't want to!) - I'll never be a video prostitute...sigh... Then on Sunday - five days ago, I noticed the DVD player was on. Since we don't own any DVD's & the kids can't access it, the conclusion was rational & he admitted that he had rented three DVD's. I shrugged it off & let it go... until yesterday. The machine was on again. He denied it, but again... only one conclusion. A few hours later, while looking for mortgage papers, I found ANOTHER video... this one given to him by his brother DAYS after the huge blow-up!!! I don't know how to feel or react to this anymore. It doesn't lessen his sex drive, but he constantly suggests things I know he only got from those movies. I no longer take it personally - I just can't or I'd cry myself sick, but this makes me feel so, I don't know... SAD, I guess, like I have a weight on my heart. I just don't know how to continue to feel the same about him for the next 30, 40, 50 years. I don't know if it's the dishonesty or the frequency or the completely disrespectful light women are portrayed in... I just don't know about anything anymore...
  20. This is new to me, but after a month of this I need some advice. My husband walked in on March 15th, after I got back from taking my mother to the doctor, we had just found out she had cancer, and said I dont love you I am leaving. I was shoked and hurt and out of control. He left, we talked that night on the phone, then he came home the next morning. He left again the following Monday, he stayed gone for three nights, after my presistance and calling and begging he came home. I tried for about 3 weeks doing what ever he said was the problem trying to make things right. Until one day I could not take it anymore. I told him if he did not want ot be here then he needed to leave. He came in and said again I do not love you and I want to go. I agreed he is still here. He said he changed his mind until my son graduates next year, maybe his feelings will change, this has been another week, of course touching me is out of the question. He stays away more and more. He finds extra work not to come home. After 20 years of marriage I want to stay married, but not at the expense of my dignity. Please give me something, I am out of ideas. I just feel helpless.
  21. Hi, I've just joined today - I found this forum as I wanted to see if there was anyone else out there who has the same hubbie probs as me! My hubbie and I are are very much in love; we've been together for 10 years and we got married June 2003. We get along fine MOST of the time, except when I do certain things he doesn't approve of. Here's the most recent example; he happened to park my car in our drive for me one night, the next morning I came to start it up and he'd left it in gear (I never leave it in gear) so he said, 'don't you press your clutch in when U start it up? Oh that's dangerous!' I replied 'It's not! I don't leave my car in gear but I always wiggle the gearstick anyway to check it's in neutral'. He retorted with stuff like, 'you could have hit something then' blah, blah, blah - trivial right (the whole conversation)? Surely it's just a personal thing? Anyway........ To stop this post being too long, the whole point is that if I do something I'm always worried that he'll say 'why are you doing it like that? I wouldn't I'd do this'.......'You'll learn by your mistakes'..... etc etc. Who says I'm making a mistake by doing it my way!? If I try to respond he talks me into a corner and I can't think of answers for him, or if I get annoyed he just says I'm being childish. Arghhhhh! It makes me so frustrated. I don't know whether it's because he's four years older than me and he thinks he knows better than me or what? I'm a 27 year old adult and I have a bit of knowledge - how does he think I coped till I was 18 without him!!? Can anyone sympathise with me or have any words of comfort/advice?
  22. A few months ago my husband and I went through a difficult time(this was before we were married). He became friends with this girl (that now i honestly dont care for). He hung out with her alot, and i found out he kissed her. He went on a trip to missoula with her. He lied to me and everything. He hurt me really bad, i seriously felt like i was dying. It seemed like i could feel my heart break in half and then more halves. Then i found out some truth behind why he did that. We made up and everything. I try to forget about her and what happened but i cant seem to. Actually i gotten a little better i dont think of it as often now. When ever i hear her name it really gets me upset. I still want to tell her a thing or two but i dont know if that is right. My husband and i do talk about this and i get my anger out then it comes back. Everytime i mention this thing that went on to him i start crying and i get terrible. Now it seems sense then i have been getting really upset and angry over the littlest things. Then my anger gets to my husband. I start being mean to him. I feel terrible. I want to get over this anger thing i have. I want to forget the terrible past, but i dont know how. I try hard to forget about it but i need help. Can anyone give me advice on how to not get angry anyomre and forget about my past, and all those terrible feelings?? If so that would really help me and my husband. Thank you!
  23. OK heres my story: I met my husband 11 years ago, we are soul mates, (so I thought). We were swept up with passion immediately and we have been together from the day we met till today I never have left him. Our relationship in the beginning was rushed, I got pregnant 4 months after we met, and we married 2 months later. He was unfaithful before I married him. I caught him, he admitted, I moved on, choosing to work it out because "I LOVED HIM". After that I turned into an angry person, always thinking he was somewhere else, with someone else. Years went on like this until finally got the trust back and actually forgave him, and we actually developed a good marriage. Well now here we are 11 years later, back at square one. Heres what happened, He and his guy friend went out, he ended up drinking excessivly and went home with a girl,( this was just this last June.) My husband told me 2 days later, I guess he was feeling guilty. NOW here I am feeling like a fool, like every thing I ever believed in for the past decade is a big fat lie, I dont feel like I can trust myself, because I have allowed my self to live a lie. I do love him, and I do want to say that in our marriage, I have never once been unhappy with "US" until now of course. I want to try to work it out again, I know that sounds so sick, but I feel like I have to much to lose, we have a beautiful daughter, we had a happy home and I want that back. I find my self walking around feeling so empty and envying our simple life we had before this happened. Am I enabling him? Am I ok? Am I doing the right thing? I know what ever happens I am goign to be ok because I do love who I am I know that I am good that I have done all the right things that I am beautiful and that I am strong. Heres a little somthing I came up with when I first found out about the fling: Our love was like a crystal bowl that we filled up with love every day for 11 years, but you chose to drop that precious crystal bowl and now with the love spilled out and the shattered bowl I find myself trying to glue it all back together, and hoping that someday we can start over filling it up again with our love. I know that it will be fragile and weak, a small bump in life may shatter it all over again. I am ok I am ok I am ok I am OK bye
  24. Sorry this is very long. Married for 3 years, a 2-year-old in the house, I have a decent relationship with my husband. By decent I mean we have every couple's ups and downs, but I feel we could both benefit from talking a little more. I'n open to (and I have suggested) marriage counselling, he vehemently rejects the idea, as "we don't need it." After a great start, our sex life became a little slow following our child's birth, but both agreed that we'd work on it. Husband is self-employed (I work full time) and often works late at night, so we never quite got back to where we started. I anyway managed to get pregnant again, and I am currently in my 7th month. As opposed to my previous pregnancy, this has been difficult (high-risk) from the start and I have been on pelvic rest since early on. It got so bad that the doctor advised my to even avoid masturbation, because of my preterm labor. By the way, I always knew my husband masturbated and he knew I did, and neither of us had any problem with it. But. Yesterday I took the little one to the park (hubby needed to work), and we stopped to grab lunch; on the way home she fell asleep and, after putting her in her bed, I went to our converted garage to give husband his lunch that I had picked up for him. I never, ever knock and he never asked me to. I opened the door and he started yelling at me "Go away! Go away!". He was frantic. He was hunched over (hand in his pants) and I had a clear view of the monitor, and the porn he was watching. He kept yelling, so I just closed the door and went into the house. After a few minutes husband came in and told me that he wanted to talk to me, that he was embarrassed but he had his urges, and we hadn't had sex in such a long time... I confess that I was so upset by the whole thing, that I was just able to tell him that I wasn't interested in listening and that I had nothing to tell him, to just leave me alone. Since then, I can barely look at him and I won't talk to him, because I don't know what to say. Allow me to explain, I don't particularly enjoy porn, but I haven't watched more than two or three movies ages ago. If itthe sex represented is between consenting adults, I have no moral objection to porn, and I will even go as far as saying that I understand people need visual stimuli more than others. As far as I am concerned, erotic novels or fantasies are a greater turn-on than moveis, but that's personal preference. In short, I don't have a problem with porn per se, but I do have a problem with husband's attitude. I understand his embarrassment, but it's not like I've never seen (caught) him masturbating; I did not know he watched porn, and that troubles me a bit, because I feel like he's hiding that part of his sexual life from me. I mean, this is the guy who told me not to buy a vibrator (I've never tried one and I was curious) because he felt threatened by it (former girlfriend was apparently hooked...); how am I supposed not to feel threatened by him getting off watching some dude he can identify with, humping a tanned bimbo? I could have shrugged it off, I guess, if he had "involved" me in some way... if he had told me, or if, when caught, he'd been light-hearted about it. If he'd said something like "See what I have to do since I can't have you?" I don't know... I guess it's hard to feel sexy and desired when one looks like she has swallowed a basketball and has an "upper deck" the size of Kansas. And right now it's really hard not to feel like I'm left out from his life at all. Does anybody have words of wisdom for me? Thank you, techmama p.s. -- on a selfish note, I'm also furious because, being the tech savy person in the house, I'm the one cleaning viruses from his computer... I guess now I know why.
  25. I have a problem that has been going on for years. My sister married my husband's brother about 4 years ago - then they ended up getting divorced after 2.5 years of marriage. They had a daughter out of the relationship. He was an alcoholic and they had a terrible relationship - it was a mistake from the get go. Now, they are divorced and my husband hates my sister with a passion because when they got divorced, she got the house and his brother didn't get anything out of it. He doesn't even want to be around her and he badmouths her whenever he gets a chance. My sister isn't perfect by any means - she has a bad temper and has a problem with the way she talks to her son (for which she is getting counseling), but his hatred of her REALLY hurts me because I'm close to my sister. I feel especially protective of her because she has a rare disease (dermatomyositis) and I am uncertain of her future in the long run, so I value her that much more. This has caused extreme resentment and anger toward my husband on my part - he has said he will stop badmouthing her in front of me but his feelings will never change. He has also said some things about other members of my family. We are going to move out of state in the future and he doesn't want to live near any of them (for the record, the rest of my family love my husband). This is making me SO depressed. I wish he would just forgive my sister and let us get on with our lives. She is in a new relationship now and he wants nothign to do with either my sister or her new boyfriend - if they are at my parents' house, he doesn't want to be there. I love my husband a lot, but I'm wondering what our future holds as I'm close to my family and his feelings, though I know I can't change then, are making me extremely resentful and feel colder toward him. I am so depressed and feel helpless. I don't know what to do. I don't want a divorce, but I just want peace and harmony in the family. Am I being unrealistic about this?
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