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  1. Key Takeaways: Identify personal social thresholds Opt for meaningful interactions Balance social time with solitude Communicate needs clearly Embrace quality self-care routines Extroverts are often seen as social butterflies, thriving on interaction and the energy of others. However, even the most outgoing individuals can experience overstimulation—a state where the usual joy of socializing turns into exhaustion. This article dives into the common yet seldom discussed challenge of overstimulation among extroverts, offering expert-backed strategies and real-life anecdotes to manage it effectively. The term 'extrovert' typically conjures images of individuals who are energized by parties, conversations, and group activities. Yet, this constant engagement can sometimes lead to an overwhelming rush of stimuli, causing stress rather than pleasure. Recognizing this issue is the first step towards managing one's social stamina prudently. Why do extroverts, who draw energy from external activities, face overstimulation? The answer lies in the balance—or often, the imbalance—between social interaction and personal downtime. This article will explore the dynamics of extroversion and provide practical advice to help extroverts navigate their social worlds without depleting their energy reserves. Through the insights of psychological experts and the experiences of extroverts who have learned to balance their social lives, we will outline several actionable tips. These strategies are designed not just to cope with overstimulation but to enhance overall well-being by fostering a sustainable social lifestyle. This guide aims to empower extroverts to maintain their social enthusiasm while managing the intensity of their engagements, ensuring that their social lives are invigorating rather than draining. Let's delve into understanding and managing the paradox of extrovert overstimulation. The Struggle of Overstimulation for Extroverts Extroverts are naturally drawn to social situations, often finding themselves in the midst of gatherings and conversations. While this is a source of joy and energy, it can also lead to overstimulation—a state where too much of a good thing becomes detrimental. Overstimulation occurs when an extrovert's need for social interaction surpasses their capacity to absorb and process these experiences. It's akin to a sensory overload where the brain becomes overwhelmed by the constant influx of social cues and interactions, leading to feelings of fatigue and irritability. Psychologically, overstimulation is not just about the quantity of social interactions but also their quality and intensity. For extroverts, who are often processing multiple social cues simultaneously, the energy expenditure can be significant, even if it's subconsciously enjoyable. The challenge lies in recognizing the symptoms of overstimulation before they manifest as burnout or social withdrawal. Symptoms can include feeling unusually tired after social events, irritability with loved ones, or a sense of dread regarding upcoming social activities—signals that are often overlooked by extroverts themselves. Addressing this issue requires a nuanced understanding of personal limits and triggers. Extroverts need to learn to gauge their activities and recognize the signs of impending overstimulation. This involves introspection and, sometimes, adjusting their social habits. Expert advice often suggests that managing overstimulation is not about reducing social interactions but about choosing them wisely. This involves selecting environments and engagements that are fulfilling but not exhausting, and recognizing when to step back and recharge. The following sections will explore specific strategies to help extroverts create a balanced social life, highlighting both preventive measures and techniques to handle overstimulation when it occurs. Understanding Extroversion: A Psychological Perspective Extroversion is more than just a preference for social interaction; it's a complex psychological trait that influences how individuals recharge, make decisions, and interact with the world. Psychological theories often contrast extroversion with introversion, where extroverts are generally energized by external activities and interactions, while introverts find energy in solitary pursuits. The roots of extroversion can be traced back to physiological responses. Research suggests that extroverts have lower baseline levels of arousal, which means they require more stimulation—from social gatherings, new experiences, and dynamic environments—to reach the same level of psychological energy as introverts. This need for external stimulation ties closely with the dopamine system in the brain, which is associated with reward and pleasure. Extroverts tend to have a more active dopamine system when engaged in social activities, which reinforces their behavior and makes social interactions deeply rewarding. However, understanding this need for stimulation also helps clarify why overstimulation occurs. When the balance tips, and the external stimuli exceed what the brain can pleasantly process, it leads to the sensations of being overwhelmed that many extroverts experience. Recognizing this can help extroverts navigate their social environments more effectively. By examining extroversion through a psychological lens, extroverts can better understand their behaviors and adapt their lifestyles to maximize their mental health and well-being. This segment aims to provide extroverts with the knowledge they need to harness their natural tendencies while maintaining psychological equilibrium. 1. Identify Your Social Limits One of the most crucial strategies for extroverts to manage overstimulation is identifying their social limits. Knowing how much social interaction is energizing and at what point it becomes draining is essential for maintaining a healthy social life. Start by reflecting on past social engagements to pinpoint when you felt energized versus overwhelmed. Keep a diary of your social activities and your feelings associated with them. This self-awareness will allow you to better understand your personal thresholds. It's also helpful to note the types of social settings that are particularly stimulating or draining. For instance, large groups or noisy environments might be more taxing, while smaller, more intimate gatherings could be less so. Setting boundaries based on these observations can prevent overstimulation. Inform your friends and family of your limits to help them understand and accommodate your social needs. Moreover, consider implementing a 'social budget'—think of your energy as a currency that you can only spend so much of. Plan your social calendar accordingly, allowing time to recharge between engagements. By identifying and respecting your social limits, you take a significant step toward managing your energy levels and preventing the fatigue that comes with overstimulation, thus enhancing your overall enjoyment of social interactions. 2. Opt for Small Group Interactions For extroverts who often find themselves drawn to bustling, crowded environments, considering smaller group interactions can significantly reduce the risk of overstimulation. Smaller groups allow for more meaningful conversations and can be less overwhelming than larger social settings. In smaller groups, interactions tend to be deeper and more engaging, which provides a different kind of social fulfillment than the superficial chatter often found in larger gatherings. This depth can be more satisfying and less draining for an extrovert. Plan social activities that involve just a few people at a time. For example, hosting a dinner for three or four friends provides a controlled environment where you can still enjoy the company of others without the chaos of larger groups. Communicating your preference for smaller gatherings to your friends and acquaintances can also help them understand and support your social needs. This openness not only sets the stage for more comfortable interactions but also strengthens relationships through genuine connections. Additionally, choosing venues that are conducive to small group interactions, such as quiet cafes or parks, can further enhance the quality of these meetings. Such settings naturally limit the number of external stimuli, allowing you to focus more on the conversation and less on processing excessive background noise or activities. By prioritizing small group interactions, extroverts can better manage their social energy and enjoy their social life without facing the exhaustion that larger groups often bring. This approach allows for the cultivation of deeper relationships and a more satisfying social experience. 3. Schedule Downtime Scheduling downtime is crucial for extroverts to recharge and prevent overstimulation. Even though extroverts gain energy from being around others, having time alone is essential for mental and emotional well-being. Downtime should be planned as meticulously as social events. It is a necessary counterbalance that ensures you do not deplete your energy reserves. Block out time in your calendar for solitude, treating it with the same importance as any meeting or gathering. During these periods of downtime, engage in activities that soothe and recharge you. This might include reading, practicing mindfulness, or simply enjoying a quiet walk. The key is to find activities that help you reset your mental state without social stimulation. Communicating the importance of this downtime to people in your life is also vital. When others understand that these quiet periods are essential for your health, they are more likely to respect your boundaries and support your needs. Additionally, be mindful of not scheduling downtime immediately after extensive socializing. Allow yourself a gradual transition to help your mind and body adjust. This gradual easing into solitude can help mitigate any feelings of abruptness that might otherwise be jarring. By regularly incorporating downtime into your schedule, you can maintain your social stamina and ensure that your social activities are both enjoyable and sustainable. This practice not only helps manage overstimulation but also enhances overall life satisfaction. 4. Engage in Reflective Activities Reflective activities can be a powerful tool for extroverts to process their experiences and understand their reactions to social stimuli. Engaging in activities like journaling, meditation, or even artistic pursuits can provide the necessary space for introspection and personal growth. Journaling after social events, for instance, allows you to decompress and evaluate what aspects of the interaction were energizing and which were draining. This can help you better plan future engagements and understand your social needs more clearly. Meditation can also be beneficial, offering a way to clear the mind and center yourself after bustling social activities. Regular practice can enhance your awareness of your emotional and physical states, helping you recognize the early signs of overstimulation. Artistic activities such as painting, writing, or playing music can serve a dual purpose. They not only provide a quiet, reflective respite from social interaction but also allow for self-expression and emotional processing in a non-verbal way. Integrating these reflective practices into your routine doesn't require large blocks of time; even short periods can be significantly beneficial. The key is consistency and allowing yourself the time to engage with your inner thoughts and feelings regularly. By making reflective activities a part of your daily or weekly routine, you create a healthy habit that supports your mental health and enhances your ability to engage with others in a more balanced and informed way. 5. Seek Quality, Not Quantity in Social Interactions For extroverts, the allure of numerous social connections can be strong, but prioritizing quality over quantity in social interactions can lead to more fulfilling and less overwhelming experiences. Investing in relationships that provide meaningful engagement rather than trying to maintain a wide circle of acquaintances helps manage social energy more effectively. Focus on cultivating deeper connections with a few people rather than spreading yourself too thin across many superficial interactions. When planning social activities, choose events that allow for meaningful conversations and interactions. This might mean opting for a dinner with close friends over a large party where deep connections are less likely to occur. Be intentional about the time you spend with others. Make sure that your social engagements are not just filling your calendar but are genuinely enriching your emotional and social life. By seeking quality in your social interactions, you ensure that the time spent with others is rejuvenating rather than draining, thus maintaining a healthier balance between socializing and personal well-being. 6. Communicate Your Needs to Friends and Family Effective communication about your social needs and limits is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and managing your energy as an extrovert. It's important that your friends and family understand why and how you manage your social interactions. Start by openly discussing your experiences of overstimulation with your close ones. Explain what it feels like, what typically triggers it, and how it affects your behavior and mood. This transparency can help them be more empathetic and supportive. Set clear expectations about your availability and your need for downtime. Let them know that this isn't about disinterest in spending time with them but about maintaining your mental health and ensuring you are your best self when you are with them. Encourage your loved ones to check in with you about your state during social gatherings. This can help you feel supported and provide an opportunity to adjust the situation before feeling overwhelmed. Develop a system of signals or phrases that convey when you're nearing your social threshold. This can be a discreet way to communicate your needs without disrupting the social setting or drawing unnecessary attention. Additionally, invite feedback from them. They might notice signs of your overstimulation before you do, and their insights can help you adjust your strategies for managing social interactions. By fostering open communication, you not only protect your energy levels but also enhance your relationships, ensuring that those around you are partners in your social well-being. 7. Prioritize Self-Care Self-care is not just an optional luxury; for extroverts, it is a crucial component of managing social energy and preventing overstimulation. Prioritizing self-care means recognizing the activities and practices that replenish your energy and committing to them regularly. Identify self-care practices that genuinely relax and recharge you. These might include physical activities like yoga or swimming, or more passive activities like reading or engaging in a hobby. Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Schedule it like any other important activity, ensuring you don't skip it when your calendar gets busy. Remember, self-care is a personal and individual experience. What works for others might not work for you, so it's important to find and follow what truly helps you maintain your equilibrium. Practical Exercises for Extroverts to Manage Overstimulation Managing overstimulation requires proactive strategies, and certain exercises can be particularly effective for extroverts. These exercises are designed to help maintain social balance and manage energy levels efficiently. One effective technique is the 'social sprint and rest' method. Engage fully in social interactions for a defined period, then take a short, complete break from socializing. This mimics interval training in physical workouts and helps condition your social stamina. Another helpful exercise is the 'role-play rehearsal.' Before attending a large event, spend some time envisioning various social scenarios and your responses. This preparation can reduce anxiety and help manage energy levels during the actual event. 'Mindful listening' is another crucial exercise. During conversations, focus entirely on listening rather than thinking about what to say next. This can prevent cognitive overload and make social interactions less tiring. Implementing 'environmental scanning' can also be beneficial. Upon entering a social setting, take a moment to observe the environment and choose the most comfortable spot. This can help you feel in control and less overwhelmed by your surroundings. Lastly, 'sensory mindfulness' involves taking quick, periodic assessments of your sensory input during social gatherings. Recognizing when sensory stimuli become too intense allows you to take corrective action, such as stepping into a quieter space or reducing visual stimulation. Expert Insights on Managing Social Energy Experts in psychology and social behavior offer valuable insights into managing social energy effectively. They emphasize the importance of understanding one's social battery and the variables that impact it. Dr. Jane Thompson, a psychologist specializing in social dynamics, suggests that extroverts should consider their social engagements as investments. "Think of each social interaction as spending a part of your energy budget. Be selective and invest in interactions that are truly rewarding," she advises. Another expert, Dr. Emily Sanders, recommends the use of 'social journals.' Keeping track of social activities and their impact on energy levels can help extroverts identify patterns and plan their social lives more effectively. Experts also stress the importance of quality over quantity. They argue that fewer, more meaningful interactions can be more satisfying and less draining than numerous superficial encounters. Additionally, embracing flexibility in social plans is crucial. Life is unpredictable, and being able to adapt plans based on current energy levels can prevent overstimulation and burnout. Lastly, cultivating a supportive social circle that understands and respects your social energy needs is vital. This network can provide not just fun and fulfillment but also emotional support and understanding, which are crucial for long-term social health. Real-Life Success Stories of Extroverts Finding Balance The journey to finding balance as an extrovert is both challenging and rewarding. Here are several real-life success stories that highlight how different individuals have managed to find a healthy balance between their extroverted nature and the need for personal downtime. Lisa, a sales manager, used to feel exhausted after every social event, despite her love for meeting new people. By prioritizing small group meetings and focusing on quality interactions, she now reports feeling more fulfilled and less drained. Mark, a teacher, found balance by incorporating mindfulness exercises into his daily routine. This practice helped him manage his energy better and improved his ability to engage with his students and colleagues without feeling overwhelmed. Another story comes from Sarah, who started communicating her needs more openly with her family and friends. This change allowed her to enjoy social gatherings without the stress of meeting everyone's expectations, thus maintaining her social energy. Tom, an event planner, discovered the importance of scheduling downtime. He strategically plans quiet periods after big events, which has significantly improved his recovery time and overall enjoyment of his job. Each of these stories underscores the importance of self-awareness and proactive management of social energy. These individuals have successfully navigated their extroversion by implementing tailored strategies that work for them. Their experiences serve as a testament to the fact that while being an extrovert comes with its challenges, with the right strategies, one can enjoy the best of both worlds—dynamic social interactions and essential personal peace. FAQs Q: How do I know if I'm overstimulated? A: Signs of overstimulation include feeling unusually tired, irritable, or anxious after social interactions. Pay attention to these signals as indicators that you might need to adjust your social activities. Q: Can introverts experience overstimulation in social settings? A: Yes, introverts can also experience overstimulation, though their threshold for social interactions is generally lower compared to extroverts. Both personality types need to manage their social energy carefully. Q: What's the best way to communicate my need for downtime to others? A: Be open and honest about your needs. Explain how downtime is essential for your well-being and emphasize that it is not a personal reflection on your relationship with them. Q: How often should I schedule downtime? A: The frequency of downtime depends on your personal needs and how quickly you expend your social energy. Start by scheduling regular intervals and adjust based on how you feel. Q: Is it okay to leave a social event early if I feel overstimulated? A: Absolutely, taking care of your mental health should always come first. Politely excusing yourself from a social situation is a responsible way to manage your energy levels. Recommended Resources 1. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain - While focused on introverts, this book offers valuable insights applicable to extroverts about the importance of downtime. 2. The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney - Provides useful tips on energy management that are useful for extroverts who need to recharge. 3. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman - Explores how understanding emotional cues, including those related to overstimulation, can enhance personal and professional relationships.
  2. Dating an introvert can be a challenge, especially if you’re a more outgoing person. Most of us are used to the idea that if you’re looking for a relationship, you have to be proactive, outgoing and even extroverted, but that doesn’t have to be the case when it comes to introverts. Here are seven essential dating tips for those who are interested in pursuing an introverted partner. 1. Give them some space. One of the most important things to understand when dating an introvert is that they need their space. They’ll often want to take things slow and take the time to get to know you before jumping into a relationship. Respect their need for space and don’t pressure them. 2. Respect their boundaries. Every individual is different and may have things they are uncomfortable with. Get to know your introvert's boundaries and make sure you respect them. It’s important to keep communication open and discuss any boundaries together. 3. Don’t be overbearing. As an extroverted person, it can be easy to come on too strong for an introvert. Don’t try to fill every silence or take charge of every conversation. Allow your introvert some time to explore their own thoughts. 4. Be patient. It can take an introvert a while to open up and feel comfortable around new people. Be willing to be patient with your introvert and allow them the time to trust you and feel secure. 5. Find ways to connect. Ask your introvert questions about what interests them. Whether it’s books, music, art, or something else entirely, give them an opportunity to share on a deeper level. It will help you both feel more connected and build trust. 6. Get out of your comfort zone. Invite your introvert on an adventure and discover the world together. It might seem like an intimidating prospect, but getting outside of your comfort zones can be really rewarding. 7. Recharge together. Introverts recharge by spending time alone, but that doesn’t mean spending time with your partner isn’t important. Spend time together, whether it’s a quiet night in or a day exploring a museum — find activities that both of you will enjoy. Following these tips can help make your dating experience with an introvert much smoother and more enjoyable. Do your best to keep communication open and respect their need for space. An introvert makes for a great romantic partner if you take the time to get to know them.
  3. This cover, it holds me much too tight Sparing of this worlds awful fright I've lived in a cage and was fed all the lies I've lived in a maze of hate and despise I know not of what truly exists I know all that is happy in extrovert bliss I seek not truth nor honor or glory I seek what is fake for my own story I smile I wave, I'll shake your hand a conversation I'll make that’s dull and bland I'll take your money your faith your need I'll take your family for personal greed Thanks for my suit, my tie and car Thanks for the numbers you've given so far I can sing I can dance, I can holler and shout but its my thin lips that lie with no doubt I ask for your faith, love and concern I'll take all you're honesty and watch it burn Give me the money, the power I seek I take what I can from all that is weak Now I hold a great place in power sitting firm in my ivory tower You've let my rhymes trick you my song, my dance you didn’t look twice, not a second glance Here I am all that is faithful Here I am all that is true don't blame yourself citizen I am here I am here...the destructive nature of you.
  4. So there was this guy i like and we hit it off right away, he is an introvert, where as i am an extrovert. We are kind of completely opposite, in all ways. But i really like him he is away for the holidays, and i miss him!, we are supposed to go on a date when he gets back crazy excited. i love every aspect of him hes amzing, we can just sit and t alk about nothing and even about important stuff. Hes great, if i havent mentioned. He is concerned about me, and wants to meet my family which is unusual for someone my age...im 17. he seems so grown up. However im wondering will our differences get in the way. He has had a rough family past where as i havent, me and my family are really close. we both have low self estheems which could be lethal, am i overthinking this? i dont know, hes also gone away for 3 weeks and im scared he wont come back, he assured me her would but im still not so sure, someone needs to help me put my mind at ease!...please!
  5. I wrote this thread the other day but now the situation has changed so I will summarise what has happened below - Went out on 3 dates with a guy from university (out for a drink and to the cinema) We liked each other but I told him we were total opposites i'm shy/quiet he's loud/extrovert/popular. He said he liked that so I decided to give it another go. - So next time, he asked me round his place to watch a movie, we didn't watch much of it… - The next time he just asks me round his place, same thing happens (no s_x though) - Now from what I gathered is that he only wants one thing and I am not prepared to give it to him because we hardly talk apart from when he asks me round - I told him that this is too casual for me and he says he respects my decision and that we can still be friends However last night he sent me a text saying "if you aren't going out tonight u should come round to watch a film but if not, have a good night" I didn't text back. I thought we worked out I wasn't going to come round anymore? Why is he messing with my head. I know he only wants casual s_x but he knows I am not into that. What shall I say when he next asks me round? I think I am too nice to him and too weak to tell him I can't see him anymore, maybe he thinks he can walk all over me.
  6. After 18 months of seeing each other at work everyday, he is STILL shy around only me. Hes perfectly normal with everybody else, if anything; people would label him an extrovert and talkative. Of late, we've been desperately trying to talk to each other as well, but the shyness/awkwardness just isnt wearing off. Yesterday, i made a lame excuse to talk to him, and ended up giving him 'the smile' ( yknow, prolonged smile/gaze with twinkle in eye) and I was taken aback to see that the guy was almost trembling. I didnt know whether i was flattered or worried.Worst part is him being nervous is making me nervous too. Later he came back to make some more "small talk", and seemed really composed and serious. However, If i see him around, he avoids looking at my face, and pretends not to see me. Im just confused and tired, so appreciate some help here.thx
  7. Mine are: Stability results were very high which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Trait snapshot: rarely irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful ___________________________ 14 Aug 2006, couple drinks and sleepy Extraversion |||||||||||||| 53% Stability |||||||||||||||||| 76% Orderliness |||||||||||| 46% Accommodation |||||||||||| 50% Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical || 10% Artistic |||| 16% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||| 30% Materialism || 10% Narcissism |||||| 30% Adventurousness || 10% Work ethic |||||||||| 36% Self absorbed |||||| 23% Conflict seeking |||| 16% Need to dominate || 10% Romantic || 10% Avoidant || 10% Anti-authority |||| 16% Wealth |||||||||||| 50% Dependency || 10% Change averse |||||| 23% Cautiousness |||||| 23% Individuality || 10% Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76% Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Physical fitness |||||||||||| 50% Histrionic || 10% Paranoia || 10% Vanity |||| 16% Hypersensitivity || 10% Female cliche |||||| 23% Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.. Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting. Trait snapshot irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful ___________________________ I found the test on someones homepage. The test result surprised me, I was just happy about it. No test is 100% but I feel that there are few discrepancies between my test result and how I am on this site. Everyone can read my posts after all. I work on being more sensitive in order to not upset others and shall think twice before posting another test here. As to starting a religion, No thank you. 20 years of old Asian philosophy must have rubbed off on me. Loving oneself and others, leaving fears, unmet expectations and regrets behind leads to inner peace. I am very contend and easy these days and eNotAlone contributes to that. Learning from others and helping others balanced me, I feel complete and happy. I am confident that everyone balancing themselves will see equivalent results in the test result. Please read about balancing yourself in: Wicked.
  8. Hey all, I used to be a hermit when it came to anything social -- family, friends, classmates. For many years, I was always the shy, quite kid in the back of the classroom with no one to bond with. Over time I have become more talkative, especially when I get to know someone and break the ice so to speak. However, though I do enjoy talking, I am naturally not into talking, even if I have something to talk about... if that makes sense. It's not in my character to be the leader of the group, the center of attention, to always be moving the lips and creating dialogue. Am I always going to be introverted me, or will I eventually get to the point where I am naturally an extrovert? Thanks, easyguy
  9. I'm curious as to what type of girl really calls your attention, and which type you'd classify as a potential for a long-term relationship, whether it be the fun cheerleader or the quiet scholar type. Personally, I'm drawn to girls that are intelligent, no doubt. You know, the ones that are classy, witty, reserved, and definitely not one of those loose extrovert types. I like them to be down-to-earth and family-oriented, preferably. I guess you could say that I like the "librarian" good girl type, but that's just me. Nonetheless, I do enjoy having the more extroverted and playful ones as friends, because they're fun to be around. I want to read your opinions, guys.
  10. what, in your opinion is the best way to ask out a girl. Either gender can responde. the girl that i am interested in is kindof introverted, but loves to sing and be on stage, so she is kindof on the boarder of Introvert and extrovert like me. What would work better. Being direct, writing a letter, or something else. i'm open to ideas.
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