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  1. Something I have noticed and have wondered about. I notice alot of guys including my ex have high regard and admiration for Porn Stars such as Jenna Jameson, Tera Petrick, etc. These women have countless sex on film with anyone and will do anything sexual like gang bangs with 20+ men. Yet I hear guys have talk about them with alot of respect for these women and see them as godesses, alot of guys in entertainment date and marry them.. Yet the same men will call a regular girl who sleeps the worst names,, the S and W word etc and would never date them and look down on them and make fun of their sexual looseness. So can someone please explain this to me?
  2. Dear eNotAlone: My husband and I have been in a committed relationship for three years. Recently, I discovered that he has been viewing pornography in his spare time and it has caused me a great deal of pain and confusion. I'm not sure if I should confront him about it and if so, how I should approach the conversation. I also don't know if I should stay with him if he continues to view porn or if I should break off the relationship. Is there any advice that you can give? * * * What would you do if you found out your partner was watching pornography in their spare time? How would you react? For many couples, the answer to this question is not easy. It is important to understand that everyone's reaction to this situation will be different and it can be an emotionally charged issue. If you discover that your husband has been watching porn, it is important to take some time to process your emotions before deciding how you want to handle the situation. It is completely normal to feel hurt, confused, and betrayed; however, it is important to try to maintain healthy communication. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist — someone who can help you sort through your feelings in a non-judgmental way. When you are ready, it is important to talk to your partner about what you have discovered. Explain your feelings to them and try to remain open-minded and supportive as they discuss their own feelings or reasoning. You may find out that his viewing of pornography does not necessarily represent any other problems within the relationship, such as mistrust or lack of intimacy. If it does, it is important to work together to find a solution. Your partner's viewing of pornography does not necessarily mean that you should automatically end the relationship. Every couple handles this type of situation differently and often it takes some time to decide on an appropriate course of action. Talk to your partner about their viewing habits and come up with a plan that both of you feel comfortable with. It is also important to consider individual boundaries as there may be viewing limits, such as no viewing around children or at certain times of day, that you both can mutually agree upon. The decision of whether to remain in the relationship or not ultimately lies with you. you have to determine what works best for your particular situation. Make sure to keep communication open with your partner and remember that relationships take time and effort.
  3. Our modern life can give us quite a challenge when it comes to staying healthy. Porn, desk jobs, processed foods, lack of time in nature… it’s no wonder that many of us are struggling with illness and fatigue. However, getting ourselves healthy is still possible with a few adjustments to our lifestyle. It all begins with an open mind and the willingness to put in a little effort. Let’s start with porn. Nowadays, it’s much easier to access adult websites and easily become addicted. But if you start to feel that this is having a negative effect on your health, it’s time to make a change. Allocate more time for physical activities such as running or even find yourself a hobby outside of the house. This way, you will be able to completely detach from your online environment and explore something new, keeping your mind and body away from unhealthy triggers. Unfortunately, some of us work in desk jobs which don’t help us stay fit either. The key here is to pivot. Invest in a standing desk, take regular breaks and make sure you move your body during the day. Even if you can’t, like some of us, go to the gym after work, there are plenty of stretching exercises that can be done right at the office. Don’t forget to occasionally step outside and get some fresh air to clear your head. Processed foods are, arguably, one of the biggest culprits when it comes to staying healthy. Since they often contain sugar or other artificial flavors, they can be seriously addictive, leading to numerous health problems. To address that, it’s important to prioritize seasonal, organic food and learn how to cook yourself. If you are really busy, there are meal delivery services that will provide fresh recipes that are tailored to your individual preferences. Lastly, due to our increasingly hectic schedules, many of us don’t have enough time to spend in nature. Yet it’s one of the most important steps to improve our mental and physical health. Whether it’s a weekend trip in a national park, a picnic outdoors, or just a simple walk in your local forest, be sure to set aside time for yourself and explore what nature has to offer. Getting yourself healthy may seem like a difficult mission in today’s world. But it is certainly not impossible. Start small and observe how these small changes can bring great results. As the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day!
  4. So for some back story, I 19F and my boyfriend 20M have been in an exclusive relationship for over a year. At the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he didn't agree with watching porn in a relationship but that he wouldn't stop me if I wanted to. I told him that I am not much of a visual person, but that I may use it sometimes and I don't care if he does but he said that he wouldn't. I also provided LOTS of material of myself that he could have been using. He jacked off to porn, his friends on instagram, an onlyfans photo he paid for, and a few creepshots he took during our relationship. I used porn a few times and occasionally thought about other people during sex and masterbation. We both came clean about everything and agreed that both caused and experienced pain as a result of all of this. He said that, that is not the kind of relationship he wants and that he wants to work on this with me, he says he never saw porn in an emotional way and never wanted to sleep with or be with any of these other people, and that these are just things he's done his whole life and he didn't stop, but he wants to now. I feel pretty much the same. I still feel a little bit off about everything and was just looking for a little bit of reassurance, my biggest problem is that he lied to me for so long and disrespected me as well as the unconsenting women he photographed (he said there have only been 4 women since we have been together) and I do believe that he has come completely clean. Has anyone gone through anything similar? Should we keep working on this in your opinion?
  5. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. The first year was great, the relationship, the sex, I loved everything about it. Then all of a sudden about 8 months ago I noticed him beginning to not initiate sex as often. Then when we were having sex it seemed like he didn’t want to touch me at all, wanted me to do all of the “work”, and would not look me in the eyes like he used to, he even would close his eyes. This made me feel discouraged and I became almost ashamed of myself, not wanting to try to initiate sex anymore with fear of being rejected or have some distant sex where he’s probably closing his eyes imagining someone else. Over the weekend I finally decided to look through his phone because I just had to know for sure if there was someone else. There wasn’t, that I know of. But what I did find was porn. Which at first I chuckled at almost as if it was cute. Then I kept scrolling the history, and every single day for the past few weeks that the phone kept history on he watched porn. Sometimes even twice a day, morning and evening. So we had a very long discussion and I voiced how him watching porn like that made me feel and I addressed our sex issue and said that I think the porn has something to do with it. He brushed it off and said the classic “every guy watches porn”. He then confessed to me that he thought I was unhappy with him and that I never initiated sex anymore so he thought I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. Now that we both were able to be open with how we felt we decided moving forward to have more sex since we both want it. That was on a Sunday. That night we had sex, Monday night we had sex, it’s Tuesday night and I just gave him a blowjob. I checked his phone history after he fell asleep only to find he watched porn on Monday and watched porn this morning before going to work. It’s clear to me that he has a porn addiction. This is such an awkward topic and I know confronting him will not go well no matter how I do it or what I say. I need some honest ***ing opinions and advice because i feel so gross right now. I want to chop my head off of my body and just be a floating head. Sorry, but help please?
  6. Not even sure where to begin. Going to try to keep this as brief as possible. 2020 was a tough year for my Wife and I. Long story short, she cheated on me with an ex over the course of 8-10 months. I found out by digging through her phone after reading a similar story online. We worked on it and I asked for the very best she can offer me, sex, attention, love, all of it. Fast forward 2 years later and I’m still ultimately begging for sex, maybe once a week if I’m lucky. I very recently came to find out a friend of hers from work is sending her very suggestive messages on Instagram and that she watches porn (chrome history). We’ve talked about watching together, but she never got into it. I’ve purchased her very sexy lingerie, but has only worn one of them once after I basically gave her a giant guilt trip. What do you recommend I do here? I was upset today but didn’t tell her why, she deleted her browser history so I’m thinking she might know why I’m upset. I feel like I’ve lost apart of myself and my ego since she cheated on me. Hurting pretty good the past 2 years. Keep in mind, we have 2 toddlers. Thanks for reading.
  7. My boyfriend of almost two years watches cheating porn alot. Whether its women cheating on their husbands, or seducing the viewer to cheat. Ive expressed to him how this makes me feel and hes told me multiple times he wont watch it anymore but I just found more on his phone. This makes me nervous that hes going to cheat and makes me feel gross like I'm not good enough. What do I do???? (Im sorry if this is the wrong forum to go to i just need help)
  8. I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world - the two of us have so much in common and are uncannilly linked in so many ways - however, we have this one nagging problem... When I first met him he told me about how he used to watch porn all the time which I figured was something all guys do from everything I've ever read on the subject. Not soon after we met and started being boyfriend/girlfriend did I notice something odd happening. First of all he lives in Canada, and I in the US, so when we aren't together we have "sex" on the webcam. Basically we masturbate for each other and it is a lot of fun and makes me feel better as I'm sure it does him. However, after we had been together for a few months, the frequency of these video escapades started to drop off. In the beginning it was every night or every other night, then it was more like every two-four nights. Now, from what he's told me time and again about the frequency of his desires, he needs to *take care of business* in some form or another every other day at least. If he's not doing this with me the only thing I can think is he's pleasuring himself to porn like the old days. He gets very upset and very defensive when I bring this up saying he never does that, that he saves himself for me. He basically turns the tables and starts blaming me for being untrusting. He says he doesn't do stuff by himself because he wouldn't want to "ruin things with us" by doing things on his own and then not being able to with me. I think this would be a very nice gesture, if it were really true. He also claims to have low testosterone levels even though he's never had them checked, and thinks he has some sort of erectile dysfunction stemming from stress or whatnot. He is perfectly healthy, and how much stress could someone like him have? He basically has no responsibilities, financial or otherwise! Please help me, I don't know what to do here. He will never admit looking at porn even if he did it all day long - I know this because I know how he is. I can't stand the fact that he may be lying to me. We want to get married someday in the not too distant future and I don't want a lying or maybe even *god forbid* cheating boyfriend grrrr. The guy I was with before him cheated on me numerous times with cyber sex relationships. If anyone has any advice or experience I'm all ears. - Frustrated in New York
  9. I have been active for about 3 1/2 years now. I have tried everything to get better in bed to please my boyfriend. I have went on web sites, bought magizine that give advice on sex, and went as far as going into a porn shop with my boyfriend and watching the pornos with him to try to get better. It seems like everything I do is just wrong. Can anyone help me? I dont want to live the rest of my life thinking about how men think I am bad in bed.
  10. My husband and I have been together for 11 years. It has finally sunk in (duh) that he is seriously addicted to pornography. When we first started dating, I found some porn at his apartment & he rationalized: single, no girlfriend, etc. I'm not dumb, I know guys are visual, & though it bothered me a little, I let it go. Sadly, this behavior has continued throughout the last 8+ years of our marriage as well. I have regularly found magazines & videos stashed in various places - only once or twice by deliberately looking, otherwise, just by chance - flipping the mattress, packing for vacation, etc. In the past year or so, it seems to be getting worse, or he's getting more careless. I have found tokens to masturbate in a booth in a porn store, several movies, magazines, PC downloads. About a month ago, while packing for a weekend away I found more than a dozen videos & DVD's, each several hours long with multiple HARD CORE scenarios (more than 50 hours worth). I flew into an absolute rage. Although we have talked and argued about this in the past, I completely snapped & broke every last one of them. After things cooled, I finally convinced myself - after 11 years - that there was simply no point in getting so upset. He is going to do this and it's not a personal reflection on me. It used to make me feel ugly & un-sexy & pretty depressed. It finally dawned on me that I'm OK - a dean's list student who still fits in her wedding dress & get's flirted with by guys 10 years younger (blush...) & I just can't help it (& don't want to!) - I'll never be a video prostitute...sigh... Then on Sunday - five days ago, I noticed the DVD player was on. Since we don't own any DVD's & the kids can't access it, the conclusion was rational & he admitted that he had rented three DVD's. I shrugged it off & let it go... until yesterday. The machine was on again. He denied it, but again... only one conclusion. A few hours later, while looking for mortgage papers, I found ANOTHER video... this one given to him by his brother DAYS after the huge blow-up!!! I don't know how to feel or react to this anymore. It doesn't lessen his sex drive, but he constantly suggests things I know he only got from those movies. I no longer take it personally - I just can't or I'd cry myself sick, but this makes me feel so, I don't know... SAD, I guess, like I have a weight on my heart. I just don't know how to continue to feel the same about him for the next 30, 40, 50 years. I don't know if it's the dishonesty or the frequency or the completely disrespectful light women are portrayed in... I just don't know about anything anymore...
  11. Hey there, it sounds like alot of girls seem to be having issues with their boyfriends and porn so I don't feel so weird about myself having issues with it. I have been well aware of the fact my boyfriend has been looking at pron for a long time and it never really used to bother me because i didn't think about it much. But lately I got fed up with seeing him looking at it while i was on the other computer, he said "I only look at it while you're next to me because you like it too" I admit i don't mind it once in a while, but he would be sitting there saying "look at this one" etc. and I would tell him i wasn't interested, so I don't know where he got the idea he was looking at it because i was interested. I don't understand why the porn has made me feel so uncomfortable, but i feel it has something to do with the level he likes to look at it, compared to mine. I might look at some say once every 2-3 months (as in a few sites), whereas he might look at porn every 2-3 days, viewing pages and pages, while also having common sites where he downloads mp3s. I talked to him about this and he suggested he stop for a while until I got my head around it and we could work out together what i found wrong with it. I turned down his offer because I didn't want to stop him from doing something he enjoyed, although deep down it still hurt, and for some reason i thought he should have stopped anyway just because he could see how it affected me. Well one night while I was at work he had come online and searched pages and pages of porn, and when I came home i asked what he had done! he never mentioned anything of the porn, the next day i viewed the history and found what he had done. I guess the thing that hurt most about that, is that he didn't bother to tell me, and even when he owned up he said it was only a few glances behind his other work when it was clearly a BIG session. I know I'm raving on, but i feel the need to just get this out! Well finally my boyfriend and I have agreed for him to STOP using the porn all together and as far as i know he has. I guess I'm lucky that he has done this for me, but it was only through talking to him about how it was making me feel. I suggest whoever else is having these problems just talk to him about it, and try to compromise, as level seems to be the killer. Get him to lower his usage a bit, and if he really does care he will help you out. I hope that doesn't sound cruel, but if he makes you feel bad for questioning him on it or mentioning the insecurity then he's never going to fix it and its always going to be a problem for you unless there's some miraculous cure for it. Sorry for making it so long Although he has stopped I still have the insecurity of him looking, I would appreciate replies.
  12. My b/f is constantly looking on the porn sites and it is really upsetting me. I don't know what to do. I am jealouse and hurt all at once. It makes me feel as if I'm not attractive to him, that he wants someone else. to make matters worse he never sleeps with me on the couch all the time. I tell him this but he keeps going there all the time. He says it's because I don't have sex with him, but I don't want to touch him when I see that on my pc. What is soo bad about me that he has to go get hot over other women. It really really hurts. Maybe if I made a video and put it on the net it would get his attention. Maybe than he would not go there. It is soo gross why look at that. It makes love mean nothing because there is no love there. Sex is suppose to be beautiful not degrading like on the porn. Why does he hate me?
  13. Sorry this is very long. Married for 3 years, a 2-year-old in the house, I have a decent relationship with my husband. By decent I mean we have every couple's ups and downs, but I feel we could both benefit from talking a little more. I'n open to (and I have suggested) marriage counselling, he vehemently rejects the idea, as "we don't need it." After a great start, our sex life became a little slow following our child's birth, but both agreed that we'd work on it. Husband is self-employed (I work full time) and often works late at night, so we never quite got back to where we started. I anyway managed to get pregnant again, and I am currently in my 7th month. As opposed to my previous pregnancy, this has been difficult (high-risk) from the start and I have been on pelvic rest since early on. It got so bad that the doctor advised my to even avoid masturbation, because of my preterm labor. By the way, I always knew my husband masturbated and he knew I did, and neither of us had any problem with it. But. Yesterday I took the little one to the park (hubby needed to work), and we stopped to grab lunch; on the way home she fell asleep and, after putting her in her bed, I went to our converted garage to give husband his lunch that I had picked up for him. I never, ever knock and he never asked me to. I opened the door and he started yelling at me "Go away! Go away!". He was frantic. He was hunched over (hand in his pants) and I had a clear view of the monitor, and the porn he was watching. He kept yelling, so I just closed the door and went into the house. After a few minutes husband came in and told me that he wanted to talk to me, that he was embarrassed but he had his urges, and we hadn't had sex in such a long time... I confess that I was so upset by the whole thing, that I was just able to tell him that I wasn't interested in listening and that I had nothing to tell him, to just leave me alone. Since then, I can barely look at him and I won't talk to him, because I don't know what to say. Allow me to explain, I don't particularly enjoy porn, but I haven't watched more than two or three movies ages ago. If itthe sex represented is between consenting adults, I have no moral objection to porn, and I will even go as far as saying that I understand people need visual stimuli more than others. As far as I am concerned, erotic novels or fantasies are a greater turn-on than moveis, but that's personal preference. In short, I don't have a problem with porn per se, but I do have a problem with husband's attitude. I understand his embarrassment, but it's not like I've never seen (caught) him masturbating; I did not know he watched porn, and that troubles me a bit, because I feel like he's hiding that part of his sexual life from me. I mean, this is the guy who told me not to buy a vibrator (I've never tried one and I was curious) because he felt threatened by it (former girlfriend was apparently hooked...); how am I supposed not to feel threatened by him getting off watching some dude he can identify with, humping a tanned bimbo? I could have shrugged it off, I guess, if he had "involved" me in some way... if he had told me, or if, when caught, he'd been light-hearted about it. If he'd said something like "See what I have to do since I can't have you?" I don't know... I guess it's hard to feel sexy and desired when one looks like she has swallowed a basketball and has an "upper deck" the size of Kansas. And right now it's really hard not to feel like I'm left out from his life at all. Does anybody have words of wisdom for me? Thank you, techmama p.s. -- on a selfish note, I'm also furious because, being the tech savy person in the house, I'm the one cleaning viruses from his computer... I guess now I know why.
  14. I think my ex had a porn addiction. He was constantly downloading porn, hada plasma, talked about porn etc. For me, during the relaionship it was fine because I considered it fantasy. As long as he never touched another woman I was happy. But towards the end of the relationship his character changed a bit. He would always make comments about women's appearance, talk about girls who got boob jobs etc. He started expecting me to buy more clothes, wear more makeup and told me I was "letting myself go". I have a full time job so I couldn't devote my whole life to looking good and frankly I wasn't interested in it (and told him as such). He kept going on about us having threesomes, sex with other couples etc which I told him I wasn't really into. I'm now thinking he had a porn addiction. He now wants to chase chicks and have sex with them like in his movies. Does anyone have any experience with porn addictions? What happens? Any advice?
  15. I am very hurt, disgusted and don't know what to do or where to turn. I borrowed my husband's laptop for a presentation about 2.5 yrs ago and found some pron sites on it. I exploded (I have an unpleasant past experience with a guy addicted to porn that my husband knows about). He couldn't deny, so we talked and he said it was because he was bored (not working at the time). 6 months ago, I was concerned about some things a neighbor's teenager said (they all came over for dinner and she wanted to chat with her friends online while the adults were talking). So I checked the computer, and it was loaded with visits to porn sites. I asked him, and he denied it, saying the teenage girl did it (right!). She's a 13 year old devout christian sweetheart. So, I added some "spy" software to his PC. He spends about 1hr per day at porn sites (and judging by the descriptions, not your best quality ones - though what would I know). My question is, what should I do? If I confront, I have to admit about the spy software (which we actually discussed the last time, so I'm okay with that) but he will still deny. The only difference now is that he will know that I will know, so he'll use a different computer. He's working now, so boredom is not the issue. The biggest problem is that we haven't had sex in a month, because this whole thing has turned me off him completely. Please help!
  16. My fiancé and I have been together for a little over 3 years. In the beginning of our relationship our sex life was fantastic. We literally had sex every night, sometimes several times. But now… things are so different. I’m lucky if we have sex once every 3 weeks or so. I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. He downloads a lot of porn and looks at a lot of dirty magazines and masturbates all the time. So I know his sex drive is there. But it seems like he’s more interested in having sex with himself than he is with me. I’ve tried spicing things up by wearing costumes, using toys, suggesting we do something in public… and it may work for a night… but after that he’s right back to not being interested again. It’s a big issue in our relationship because I’m a young woman who enjoys having sex… and I could probably get laid more if I were single than I do being in this relationship!! But I love him.. But I’m not satisfied. I do anything he asks me to do in the bedroom but he refuses to go down on me. (He’s never tried it before.. on any woman and for some reason won’t do it) Last night he was in the shower and I walked in to wash my hands and he was masturbating. I made a joke out of it and he said to me ‘Would you just give it a rest!’. This upset me and I replied ‘Oh so I’m not allowed to be upset by the fact you enjoy having sex with yourself more than you do with me’ and he said ‘frankly babe. I don’t care’ That hurt me A LOT. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if we can fix things because I seem to be the only one who’s doing anything to help. I’m sick of the porn and I’m sick of feeling unattractive. Does anyone have any suggestions?
  17. arg!!! what is with males and porn????? I think that if you love someone you will not be wanting to look at someone else's body and lusting over it. I think it is just wrong no matter what. there is no "its all a prefrence" if my boyfriend looked at pron I would feel betrayed and that would hurt me more than anything in this world. to feel that he felt he wanted/needed to look at another womans body, and that hurts. I dont care what guys say to defend their behavior. or girls who look at porn for that matter, it is just as wrong as sleeping with someone else. it hurts you just as much. and it is just another sick escuse to lust after other people while with someone.. and I have never heard someone in a LTR say "oh the thing that keeps us together is his/her porn sites" and another thing that is lost in this is trust... if I lose my trust in my significant other, I have nothing left....
  18. I am a C-cup, and none of my boyfriends have ever complained about my breast size, but recently, my boyfriend has started to mention sometimes that he finds larger breasts attractive. Sometimes when I look on my computer's browser history, I see porno websites dedicated to huge breasts that he has been visiting. I don't mind him looking at porn, but lately it seems that he has been less and less satisfied with my breasts. He has even asked if I would consider taking some kind of pill to increase my bust, although I told him that I doubted that those "supplements" even work. Then I found information in the mail about breast augmentation surgery that he had requested in my name! I have never told him to change any physical feature about himself, nor have I ever expressed dissatisfaction over any of his attributes. I love him very much, but this is worrisome. Is it my responsibility to try to satisfy these urges? Should I look into any of these breast enlargement things? Is a c-cup really too small? My friends have told me that my breasts are large enough, and I get attention for them all the time now. Am I wrong?
  19. I am 29 yo and I have been in a relationship with my fiance for just over 4 years, I am currently 6 months pregnant with our first child together and I have an 8yo daughter from a previous marriage. He is a wonderful caring father to my daughter and she adores him but he has been physically abusive to me in the past and we have had alot of up and downs in our relationship, we moved interstate 10 months ago and everything has been perfect since then, he is never abusive towards me anymore and he has been very caring and loving towards me. In the past I was constantly finding hard core porn magazines and videos that he has bought and hidden from me and I have even found phone calls to sex lines and chat lines on our phone bills (one bill even came to over $2000) the phone calls were rare but the magazines and videos have been constant for the past 3 years, whenever I confronted him about it he would always turn it into an argument and become violent and abusive towards me and then afterwards he would apologise and promise that he will stop buying them and even used to throw them all out, but a few months later I would always find he has snuck behind my back and stocked up on his collection yet again, even though he knows how much it hurts me. Ever since we moved and I have been pregnant things have been different and I thought that all this porn stuff had stopped but yesterday I found a new stash of magazines and videos. I have always been a very self conscious person and I find it so hurtful when I find that he sneaks behind my back and buys a secret stash of videos and magazines that he brings out when I am not around. I am a very open minded person, we have watched porn together in the past and we even have a large collection of "toys" that we have bought together, we have always had a very passionate sex life and we are both quiet adventurous and like the same things so I cannot understand why he needs all this porn when I give him everything he has ever desired in the bedroom. Before becoming pregnant I was a size 6 and I am now a size 14 so I am feeling even more self conscious at the moment, we never use to be able to go a day without having sex and now I am lucky if he wants it once a week and when I ask him why, he says he is tired or he is worried about hurting the baby. I really don't know what to do anymore in the past I have given him the choice between me and his porn and he always chooses me, so why does he continue to do it behind my back. I want to confront him about my recent find but I am scared of him reacting violent like he used to in the past, but also I am not willing to put up with these constant lies and broken promises and at the moment I don't even think I can trust him. What should I do?
  20. dak6

    porn issues

    I have been battling jealousy all my life but I feel it affects my love life the most. I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half and things are going alright but this problem is bugging me to the point of sleep loss. It may seem like a small problem for some, but I get uncontrollably jealous and angry about my boyfriend looking at porn or anything that includes scarcely clad women (of course him gazing at real-life attractive women angers me too, but that's a different story). He has told me he won't do it again, but after all, he is a guy and the fact that he sometimes can't help it is what angers me the most. What can I do? I feel bad for nagging and checking and prodding him to keep his promise, but yet porn viewing in a commited relationship is just disrespectful and absolutely against my morals. Of course I don't deny that it is stimulating and there would be nothing wrong if he wasn't in a relationship with someone, but I just break down everytime I find evidence that he has looked at something. I will probably never accept his porn viewing (not that he's obssesed or anything, I've only caught him one time after he promised not to) I don't see the need to. Mostly, I'm looking for a way to trust him when he says he understands and will never do it again. Does anyone have the same case? Words of advice are much appriciated!
  21. I got home from work this evening and sat down at my computer. I began looking through the history. At first I found nothing. After looking further, I discovered that he had been surfing the web for porn. For several reasons this bothered me. For one, I find it insulting and offensive. He knows that I don't want that kind of material viewed on my computer. It also brings up bad memories of his infidelity that occurred a year ago. When I got upset about it he got all defensive and claimed he did nothing wrong. He kept saying, "I'm a 33 year old man." I guess he thinks that's a good reason to stomp all over my feelings. Then he started on me about showing him respect - EXCUSE ME. He knows how I felt about this and he had agreed not to look at that stuff on my computer. So who was disrespecting who?
  22. It never happened to me before, up until yesterday... I've had heard of it, and seen it briefly in porn videos, and I concluded the girls were simply peeing and pretending it was this urban myth of fem.ej. I still have no idea how common is this "phenomenon". The article says that "more rarely" it can be accomplished thru external stimulation (which is my case) but honestly, I'm like the most average creature when it comes to sex so basically what the BLEEP? I'm still really curious about where the hell does all that fluid comes from... I honestly thought I was experiencing some kind of incontinence, but I... *sorry for the gruesome details* kept... eerrhhmm... "squirting" even after peeing. In the end, it was like the content of a small cup... Yikes. I just never saw myself as a potential Cytherea... Girls are weird
  23. I have been with this man for 1 year and 5 months. My son and I moved in with him last June 06. My first inclination he might be bisexual was when he told me watching two guys made him h.... I asked him if he had ever been with another guy, he said no. Now, we started watching porn together and I noticed he went for the gay and tranny porn. That made me bring it up again and he said no he wasn't bi. Recently, he admitted he had a year long relationship with a man, before me. He says he loves me, wants to get married. I seem to think he still is interested in men because of the signs he shows. I don't want to continue the relationship if there is any doubt. I would appreciate any thoughts on this matter. It would be very helpful. Thanks!!!
  24. first of all...Hi! i'm new to the site... I am looking for opinions from men and women who have been in my situation... I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months and we have lived together for 3. I have a son from a previous relationship and they get along really well. as for the relationship part i couldnt ask for anything more...we are very in love, have a ton of fun together, tell each other everything and are very open and honest. Here's where the problem lies... I recently discovered that my boyfriend watches online porn...while i don't really have a problem with it, i'm struggling to understand a man's need to watch porn. he's assured me that it is nothing lacking in our relationship and the i'm not lacking anything that he desires...he said all guys watch porn and it's just sort of a "fantasy" thing...he says the girls are fake making it the fantasy part...but he wants someone "real" (meaning me). I guess my question is...should i be worried that this will turn into some sort of a problem or am i just over-reacting? do the majority of men watch porn? I have watched with boyfriends before but have never had a bf that watches it online.
  25. My boyfriend is 18 and I'm 17, and we have been together for one year. We are leaving to go to university together at the end of this academic year and I actually think we could last, because we're so good together. He is the most interesting, beautiful, artistic, gorgeous and the closest thing to perfect I've ever known. I really love him, I respect him 100% and I really mean it when I say that I have never once been remotely attracted to another guy during our relationship. I've never lied to him and I would never do a THING to hurt him. You just can't get any more faithful TO a person, Can you? However, I remember for the first few months of our relationship (the phaze when we were about to just have sex for this first time)... he was really into watching porn. He had it on his phone and he had magazines. (By the way, When he had it on his phone he had my contact name picture set as a cartoon, sexy female dog.) He tried to convince me to start liking porn. He used to openly express his desire for busty nurses on the TV and eye up other girls. He used to joke about me and my best friend (that he used to like) being lesbians together. I was so hurt and angry , I was depressed too. I finally told him about it all a few months ago and I was crying when I told him. Then he started to cry and started calling himself "worthless" and that he suddenly realised how I must have felt and totally understood... and he stopped it. That was it. I know this is probably so petty and immature.. but I was really, really hurt. :sad: I respected him as I have said, and he was like this in return? I still hurt from it... I felt violated and I keep on worrying that he is still wanking over some blondes (as he called them; as if it was something special) that he may well be thinking about me and my friend as lovers, or that he is fantasizing over SOMEONE ELSE.... He might be watching other women finger themselves... I'm sorry, but I still can't believe him. Even after he cried his eyes out saying he's sorry... I still think I'm mildly depressed about this. How can I trust him? Is this vague... am I explaining this ok? Sorry if I'm not. Please someone tell me how they'd feel, or give me a guys point of view. Just anything. Thanks xx
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