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  1. So I went to the hospital at 2:30 AM. They gave me a 30mg shot of Toradol. That only reduced it a bit. They sent me home. I took 2 Tylenol 1 and got in bed at 5:45. I woke up before 7:30 screaming in pain. My husband took me back to the hospital. This time it was another dr. He said he is sure I have Trigeminal Neuralgia and gave me another shot of Toradol 60mg. He gave me 200 mg of carbamazepine . I have to take 400 mg a day. It is an anti seizure medication that will relax the nerve. And he have me hydromorhone 2 mg for pain. They have me lined up to see a specialist. Sorry I am not making much sense I am taking 2 medications which make you very very sleepy and confused.
  2. Swallowing anything before a procedure, especially a surgical one, can not only be both dangerous and irresponsible, but it could result in hormonal issues that are difficult to predict – and even harder to solve. A variety of medications, supplements, and foods can have unexpected impacts on the balance of hormones once they get into the bloodstream. Before exploring the risks associated with swallowing before a pre-op, it's important to break down what hormones are, and why they are such a critical factor in so many average people's lives. Hormones are chemical messengers of the human body. The purpose of hormones is to send messages between cells, organs, and tissues. Depending on the type of hormone, it will either tell a cell or organ to start or stop a certain activity. The body relies heavily on the delicate balance of hormones; too much or too little of any one hormone (known as hormone imbalance) can cause serious issues with physical and mental health. For those considering surgery, it's important to ask your surgeon about food, drinks, supplements, and medications that should be avoided pre-op. It's also advisable to avoid drinking alcohol the night before and taking any kind of antihistamines. If you are uncomfortable asking these questions, you should make sure to speak to your primary care physician first. One of the more common medications that has shown to cause a hormonal imbalance when swallowed before a pre-op is oral birth control. Taking this hormone-altering medication before surgery can cause an unexpected shifts in hormones, depending on the patients’ particular body chemistry. Symptoms of a hormonal imbalance caused by this can include extreme fatigue, disturbances in sleep, mood swings, and changes in appetite. Unfortunately, treating these symptoms with medication after the fact can often be a try and error process. Plus, with regards to surgery and medications, the goal is always to lessen the amount that the patient has to take prior to their procedure. An experienced surgeon will speak with their patient to determine what medications must be taken before an operation and if necessary, suggest alternative methods. It's also important to remember that oral supplements can do just as much damage as an entire bottle of pills. Many treatments which happen orally – such as herbs, oregano or cinnamon, for example – can disrupt the natural balance of hormones once they've made their way into the bloodstream. Oftentimes, this can means lost energy, out of sync menses, and extended PMS, making it difficult to go through the day-to-day grind until the issue corrects itself. The best option is to proceed with caution when deciding what to swallow before a pre-op. It's always a good idea to consult a medical professional, shake up your diet a bit, and be mindful of drugs, supplements, and vitamin intakes.
  3. Recently i was asked by someone to describe to them how it feels to suffer from depression, and to be perfectly honest i think thats a very very hard thing to do. I thought i would try and put it in words here before answering my friends question, so that others can read this, and share their thoughts and feelings with me, maybe you suffer or have suffered, or maybe you have a friend or loved one who suffers Before we go on, i am on medication and recieving councelling So thank you all for your concern So here is my attempt to explain things - I dont know what its like to feel normal, every day i wake up, and i find it hard to get my brain to wake, all i want to do is lie in bed and sleep. When you do wake up, you dont feel right, a strange feeling a bit like poisoning is inside of you, it saps your strength and your will. You take your pills, at a different time every day, sometimes you forget whever you have taken them or not. You feel gloom, like a pain in your heart, you feel scared and you cant snap out of it. Its like you are grieving for the part of you thats died. Things in your home get you down, the housework suffers as things build up, until you cant take it any more and have to do something. You forget to eat, or dont want too. You turn on the TV, 100's of channels and nothing you want to watch, then you turn on your pc, game after game after game sits on the shelf, none of them are fun to play. So you go back to bed, so tired, or you haev a shower and your head drifts away, sometimes you wish that you are the water, slowly going down the plug. Sometimes you want to be gone, after all, you have no friends, nobody cares Every day is the same, like living in a limbo, and the only way out is to beat the problems, or they beat you Small tiny things can make you worse, a bill through the letterbox, a bit of bad news about some awful disaster round the world, but almost nothing can make you better. Thats how depression feels to me, and i hope you dont feel down reading this, as atm im not feeling as bad as this, just remember how it feels Do you think i summed it up? Have u had a different experience? Toad
  4. Three o'clock Time for Jenny to come out And prettily get her coffee I pray to my pink paxil jar Pretty pills please help me Talk to her
  5. Fade to black Whiskey and pills No way back Lost will, forever still World in past Blood spilled My life I have killed Kids laugh and cry Love destroyed never to return Suicide in my eyes So many ways So many reasons Life faded away Heart torn and betrayed No more tears no more laughs Joy and misery combined Another world left behind God tried to take me once Now I want to go Me he no longer wants
  6. You saw this forming but never stopped to call a cloud down from the sky. like you’ve got the time. You do I guess, but I guess you lie. It’s a fitting position to be in, but I suppose you’ve been there a thousand times before. It’s so like me to dredge up the past, but I just cant let this one go. I wouldn’t wish this on the world, or maybe I would `cause I * * * * ing hate this place, or at least this town. I couldn’t tell you how to find a way out except maybe these sleeping pills and a bottle. It seems like the perfect ending to this tragedy, don’t you think? An epic verse instead of the chorus. It wouldn’t matter if you sang along, I doubt you even know the words anyway, you’re like that. Maybe you can try to lip it and hope to not get caught. But trust me, I’m watching you.
  7. I was wondering if we can share the lyrics (or part of) that really is beautiful, touching or meaningful.. u know, those kinda lyrics that really touches your heart. If its not too personal, you can also tell us why this song touches you very much. We really want to know, don't we ... Me, You, My Medication - Boys like girls Found my way to the highway I don't wanna tell you the state Im in I've had too much to smoke too much to drink where have I been It feels like the stars are getting closer and the sky is closing in And I don't know where to begin We're all looking for something To take away the pain Me and you and my medication (Making the best of it) Love is just a chemical creation (Will it be permanent?) Synthetic sensation Me you and my medication The way back to the right track maybe you can help me find the door Is it too much to ask, too much too fast, too much to ignore It feels like your bodys getting closer but you seem so far away Medicine make it ok We're all looking for someone To take away the pain Me and you and my medication (Making the best of it) Love is just a chemical creation (Will it be permanent?) Synthetic sensation Me you and my medication Can you feel it? Do you feel it? Coming down You gotta get up Can you get up Off the ground Can you hear it? Can you hear me screaming? Can you feel it? Do you feel it? Coming down You gotta get up Can you get up Off the ground I wanna hear it Wanna hear you breathing Were all addicted to something That takes away the pain Me and you and my medication (Making the best of it) Love is just a chemical creation (Will it be permanent?) Synthetic sensation Me you and my medication Important to me because when i got dumped by one of my ex GFs i was looking to anything to take away the pain, and i still am. Nothing works so far.
  8. I am a 34 year old who have been cutting my self since i was 10 the last time was last night it feels good when i do it my arm legs chest and now my neck and face i dont cut to die it just relives pressure inside i just got release from the hospital 2 weeks ago they put me on medication lithium-300mg trazodone-150mg klonopin-0.5mg elavil-10mg i have been slowly takeing myself off the pills i havent taken any for 2 days cutting just feels so good its like a sexual its like i cant get enough i keep going deeper and deeper its like a drug but i would like to stop someday but the voices that i hear wont let me the doctor gave me seroquel-200mg-&25mg so i wont hear them anymore but i due i never had the chance to tell anybody or share with anyone my feelings.
  9. I really wasnt sure where to post this topic so i fitted it in as best i could so apologies. i was wondering if anybody in the forum knew what the long term effects of taking Ecstasy (MDMA,pills etc) are? i mean about a year maybe two years ago i split up with a boyfriend, and stuipidly i wanted to forget it ever happened so i went out and took 1 ecstasy pill and was completely wasted.im not going to lie coz i think that you need all the info i can provide to give me some insight.-i have taken ecstasy many times since then and amphetamines,but decided to stop it in march this year.-realising how stupid i had been! but my question is,could the mental affects of ecstasy still be replaying to this day? sometimes i get sort of mini flashbacks that i am tripping again(high)and ive even had dreams about taking ecstasy. someone told me that it can take a long time for the drug to completely leave your body,especially the amphetamines. if anybody has an insight on this i would really like to know. im not planning to take ecstasy again,and i think maybe a lot of you will think i was dumb for doing it in the first place,but i know this,i was just going through a terrible time and it seemed the only way out.- i didnt care if i was still alive the next day or not. i dont know if anybody will know much about this,but if someone can shed any light at all id be grateful thankyou
  10. Fast flowing tears Falling, Dripping from my nose, Coloured with eyeliner, Black as the sky, Tears in free fall, Black as the night, Covering for the pain, Caused by you, The medication, Mixing with tears, Mixed with alcohol, Downing away the pain, Too many pills, Too many days, Spent alone, Crying in my room.
  11. In September, I will be married 25 years (if I last that long.) About 10 years ago, my husband could not perform sexually, and it took him 18 months before he went to a Dr. to find a solution to the problem. Unfortunately, it never "worked" right. He even got a prescription for Viagra, and after having the prescription for over a month (and knowing that he had a follow-up Dr's appt. the next day) decided that he might as well try it. Recently, it's been so bad, we haven't had sex in almost 3 years. He admits that he's depressed, but he's seeing another dr. and on medication. However, when he comes home from work, he runs to work on his computer all night, or sleeps, never interacting with me. He spends his weekends working as well - but I know that he's not working all the time and fooling around on his computer at least 1/2 the time. He promises to take me to movies or to dinner, but something else always comes up. We haven't been out to dinner alone or to a movie in about 2 years. I can't remember the last time he touched my face or held my hand or kissed me. It's a chore for him to go to a party at one of the neighbors, and I cry when I see how happy everyone else is. He always says he's sorry, and then three days later we're back to the same old story. Earlier this week, when I wanted him to talk to me/spend a bit of time with me, he decided to go to bed (it was only 9pm.) I blew up and said how it pains him to spend any time with me. Yesterday, as I was downstairs doing the wash and doing some chores (we both work, and my only time to get things done is early evening) he said he needed to work. In-between folding clothes and changing the wash, I sat and read or watched tv and tried not to disturb him as he said he had a deadline and lots to do. At 8:30pm I went upstairs to put some of the clothes away and found him in his office, with the lights out, the computer never on, sleeping on the sofa. I lost it. I DON'T want to be with him anymore. I have no one to turn to (friends, family, etc.) Our son is 20 and I can't burden him with his father. Joe comments on how his dad is turning into an old man like his grandfather (he is only 48.) I want to write a letter to his shrink and make him aware of the problems I have. It isn't normal not to have sex for three years. I have needs too and instead of having an affair (I am so tempted) I watch porn to satisfy myself. I work full time, cook, clean, do the wash, etc. His only responsibility in the house is yard work and feeding our cats and dogs. Am I the only one with problems like this? Sex was great before our marriage and then just ok for the first 15 years, and now totally non-existent. I know he saw a new dr. about 1 month ago, but the new medication he has just stay in the medicine chest. I've accused him of having an affair (he has to be getting it somewhere) but I have no proof. If someone else is going through the same thing, please give me a bit of advise. Thanks!
  12. Firstly I denied you'd gone, Thought that you had simply made a mistake and would return, Denied my part in the mess we created, Wondering if turning back would be easy. Moving through the denial, came the anger, I hated what you were, Wrote bitter verse of the lesser person you are, Told myself I wished you dead, that something would befall you, Quickly I realized that it was my fault, I planned and plotted, posing myself questions, Would you come back if I changed? Became different? But even in the bargaining I knew the truth, Hardly it hit, but then was the depression. I left my job, withdrew, took pills, Longing to be near you and feel your touch again, Hating myself for pushing you away, Finally, after all this time, I accepted, We were never meant to be, and it wasn't our fault, Life has a funny way of throwing people together, And as we move on separately I hope we find happiness, These were my five stages, Not nice but needed, And from now on I'll remember you in fonder ways, Carrying a torch for the very special person you are.
  13. Speeding on by without a care in the world You look out shyly as the fireflies twirl Only one way in, one way out But still your mind is filled with doubt Scenes flash before you but there's no time to look As you flip through the pages of your romance book People surround you but you couldn't feel more alone Each on their own journeys with their own way to go The colours race past you, beautiful as can be But you have no more time left to see Far away from home you make your way Down this straight path with nothing to say Cursing the man-men and beating the damned Feeling the skin of your lost lovers hand The rocks build up slowly as we lay our scene A cursed hand wraps around your echoing dreams But wildflowers bloom in this sea of despair They make their way home without a worry or care You know of nothing to come or what will come after Your cries drowned out by a small child's laughter ---------------- The rainbows are slowly fading black I've wasted all the time I can't get back You say it's not too late, so save this The blue skies are quickly fading gray I have no more words left to say You say you want me, so take me And as the rain is pouring down My feet are slipping on this ground You say you know me, so tell me Why is the sun bleeding into the air? Why does it seem like you care? You say it's not real, so prove it So here we go for the 100th time Searching for the words that just won't rhyme You say you can't leave me, so love me ------------------ Always put your best foot first Sustain your hunger Quench your thirst Praise God you're alive, for it is His will Treat smiles like drugs And hugs like pills Savor the moments you want to last Embrace who you are Don't cling to the past Songs don't have to be deep for people to sing And love isn't measured by the size of the ring When it's cold, wear a jacket When it's hot, show some skin Just think of this wonderful world we are in It may not be perfect There's war and there's hate So when it comes to love, why do we wait? If you love her then tell her Life's all about risk Eventually we all fall for this world's silly tricks Smile in good times Cry in the bad Just remember the wonderful journey you've had
  14. I wish that you could see me. See what I really am. Deepest fears. Secret wishes. Desperate longings. Fiery anger. Vicious words. You don’t know me. Can’t begin to appreciate, The darkness within. I wish, Sometimes. I dream, Occasionally. I’m disappointed, Always. My heart aches, My eyes feel heavy, My soul is like lead, I’m dragging myself along. I’m losing it all again. Just when I got it back. I’m right where I started. And I can’t take this anymore. Save me. I’m drowning. Fading away. Hurting inside. Aching outside. No escaping. Pain follows. Tears flow. Take everything. Leave nothing. Empty shell. No feelings. Just pills. And cuts. Killing myself. Slowly, surely. Almost gone. Would really like some feedback.....=)
  15. Rest the trigger on your finger wait until I disappear caress the cold souless metal and blow away your tears shave off the excess blood carve away the pain as you lay aside yourself think of me and everyone remember the shame see me feel me laying on the shell take me in swallow me me and my hate take me away let me be slide me into your vein and embrace my presense as I swim inside of you shatter your flesh for me and my lonelyness forget me but reminice as you relapse fall back once again to the sadness behold the sorrow the pain you bring when you left the shower from all those who loved you tears of fire hidden in little metal pills im was your only savior your only souladjuster and I failed you but I am still here Be one with me and esperience the reality
  16. Just Seventeen - This poem could be triggering to people who suffer from self harm, eating disorders or suicidal thoughts. Just a warning. This sweet young girl, Just seventeen, She has this smile, Kind, so innocent, never mean. To those around her, she is the glue, The one who holds them tight, Yet when she is alone, her smiles are few. Silent tears fall down, Her face looks only to the ground. She’s waiting for someone to be her glue, Wishing that some day she would be found. Yet all they see are these fake smiles, To them she is so bright, Happiness they see, Never do they understand her fight. With deep new cuts, Secret trips to the bathroom, Tears are falling, She’s out of control, she knows what looms. Trying to stop, but she can't resist, Getting rid of her food, She doesn't want to feel like this, She needs to break this mood. So she cuts, she purges, She slices and vomits, The pain killers stop working, She dreams for the numbness. 88 pills, sit in front of her face, 88 pills tempt her fate, She doesn't want to die, But it may be too late. So she takes one, And just one more, She doesn't want to do this, She falls to the floor. She’s not so sweet, Not so kind, She’s not so innocent, She’s out of her mind. Scratching her skin, Cutting away, She can still feel your touch, She begs for you to go away. "Leave me alone!" She screams in vein, For no one is around, Is she truly this insane She takes the mirror, Her face it does reflect, She can feel that man, But where and how she cannot detect. She haunted, Shes scared, Fearful, Afraid. Nothing is left for her to do; She pours some pills into her hand, How many she doesn't know, Into her mouth, she feels herself floating off the land. Her vision is blurred, She turns her back, One moment your there, The next everything is black. Will she wake up? Just seventeen? There is no chance, This ending was never foreseen.
  17. Ok, well , I actually wrote this about a month ago... erm, dunno if its good though... As my nail jams into my skin Grazing softly As I grin Seeing comfort came to me once again Taking pills to kill the pain Though it's all just in my head I still hope for that time When it's all gone Staring boldly at the mrror Watching the tears fall down my cheeks Creating the rivers I feared to drown in Once Again Drowning out my screams in music Hiding my pain under my clothes Faking a smile so the tears don't come once more Bite my lips and pull my hair As I lay there on the floor Contemplating the ceiling I jam my nail once more Now I sit there in disappointment Wishing it all goes away I just close my eyes and say I survived another day... -TATY-
  18. So my g/f and i are going to ingage in oral sezx.Now i have measure my penis and its roughly about 5' inches.I have lots of hair even in my arsenal (you know what i mean if your eauropean about arsennal). So my g/f says she doesnt care hpow big it is.here are my following questions. 1.Is 5' inches normal? 2.How small do you ladies think is a weak penis? 3.Do you ladies care if it is hairy? 4.How much hair is to much? 5.If i want to make it longer ,What kind of Pills should i takle or what kind of foods should i eat? 6.What should i not eat? More advice is VERY VERY much welcomed. THANX!
  19. i had to vent one night, so i wrote this poem, its a little dark, but i am alot better now, i just want to know what anyone else thinks, i have blanked out the swares with asterisks. LIFE I don't know what to do, I think i'm gonna fall, Breakdown to the floor, And do nothing but bawl, This plane of life, Is about to crash, And in my heart, There will be a big gash I'm tired of being hurt, Tired of being used, I'm tired of being laughed at, And tired of being abused, My mom always says, "Life will get better", How can that be, When I'm put through the shredder, Some times i think, Everyones above, I,m just lower, And i'll never find love, I've tried many pills, I've even smoked dope, But it never helps, There's no way to cope, I got out the gun, I wanted to be dead, I loaded it up, And put it to my head, As i stared down the barrel, At the end of the muzzle, I figured it out, The whole f***ing puzzle, Life may not be great, Life may be unfair, But f*** what they say, I don't f***ing care, so now i'm okay, i'm feeling alrite, i can see my goal, its in plain sight.
  20. beacuse i didnt feel like pronouncing all of the language.... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 1] mussles relaxed from pills that will soon induce convulsants...... stong an powerful that can have one spittn blood like faucets.... dialating pupils, outrageous movements from ones torso..... these haulucinations seem to tear flesh apart so unremorseful..... force from sadantants, will have ure heart ripped n shreadded.... knew from the making, this can have minds lifted n embedded.... feels like coke n benzine wedded, to kill ure whole Inhibitory drugs do u in such as peircing ure lungs jumpin from da 3rd story salucadations to ure kidneys which crumble as if artificial....... cuz anxiety is ruining u from overdoseing on Secobarbitals...... the dendrits of the possesor cringe to use mo forceful antidotes..... n u wana live right? when u on ah binge struggle on ya lass rope..... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 2] faces of men twisted unorthodox parrallel to his existence...... yayo pipes from paradox promises de-swells reminisance...... bloody arms shaking from abrasive needles peirced in veins... sharing virus infected in colonies that seem to go n trains...... the horizon in their eyes closes, to show death in disguise..... these deamons come in surprise, to sho men their utter demise.... reach fo allies, held down to earth so u cant reach for the skies.... look in ya eyes, can't see anything but empty promosis n lies... premanition of premature xanax, flooding the upper level..... the brain becomes stagnant, reducing to influence from the devil... twitch in withdrawl, we see no activty from his lungs at all..... switch n appall, we pay respects for a man whos life has dissolved..... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 3] habitual practices deceived to feel licit reduce hypoxia.... the tissues decay n receive no oxygen its locked fo ya.... larynx sufferage, trachea place in throat to help him breathe... dis is from enveloped failed experiments to make humans bleed.... induce vomit the stomach cannot hold whats not meant to go in.... but u refuse to give up the ghost, to be dead n lifeless within.... pounding in the chest, shockwaves to help eyes rotate forward grounded in caressed, form ure seizures screamin help me Lord!!! da drugs are savage, they have no remorse on ure vital signs like thugs who r ravage, they beat until u can't think with ure mind.... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance....
  21. Staring, breathing, planning, thinking. I'm living life, living till I die, death coming soon, this time, I lose. Biting, chewing, my nails, scratching, itching, the scars that'll never heal. Soul and heart, both broken, tears shredding, mind shattering, I'm fading away. Grabbing the rope, snatching the pills, finding the blade, and everything that kills. Swollowing the pills, tightening the rope, slicing my wrists, with the metal. The blood drips, my eyes bloodshot, it didn't take so long, I lie on the floor, and I'm gone, forever, and ever. I'm gone now, the burden disappeared, you can all lead a better life now, not a person to shred a tear, smiles all around, when my death is found.
  22. Hey guys, I am new to this forum -- but am very curious about something, and it's hard to talk to people you KNOW about this stuff (at least for me). After a stressful year of some losses in my family, planning a wedding, and a passive aggressive boss at work, I was at witts end. I was snapping at the most mondane things and taking the littlest things WAY to seriously -- having a VERY hard time just "taking it easy." I had tried St. Johns Wort but had some stomach issues with it. My doctor suggested I try Lexipro for 3 months -- which I am now at the tail end of. However since starting I have switched doctors (we moved) and this new doctor may differ in opinion on the medication then the dx who prescribed it -- thus my looking for some feedback. Now, for me, I feel the lexipro has helped me significantly, but I also think since the wedding is behind us, my families' situation is much better, and work has lightened up -- that may be a big part of this as well! I think the year more than anything set me into a tailspin because I normally handle most situations well, and never felt the way did prior to the medicine. So I am not sure now if it's the medicine making me view things differently, or if it's my body's way of saying that I really AM feeling better and that I am ready to move on from the medication. I wanted to know, if anyone here HAS come off of lexipro --- how they went about it? Cutting the dose back and weening off of it or cold turkey, and how the transition was for you. Since I have only been on it a few months, I was told that any transition wont be as severe as if i were on it for years -- but again, i'd like to at least have some outside feedback on how people have handled this situation. I thank you for reading this and I hope to hear back from someone. Thank you.
  23. Looking up, the skies full of clouds, big and small, wide and tall, colours and shapes, looking at them in different ways. Remembering the memories, feeling the pain, tears crawling, going insane, thinking about, those particular days. The sun poking through, shining down, looking around, light everywhere, comforting like a teddy bear, I stop, and I stare. Daydreaming zone, I enter, dreaming of the memories, reliving them, the tears pour from my eyes, losing the fight, looking at the sky, shutting my eyes, the tears keep crawling. Crawling to the kitchen, swollowing the pills, 10, 20, 30, 40, and more, crawling back into the garden, lying on the ground, looking at the sky, not a sound, not a sight, just a light, walking towards it, letting everything fade, taking my last breath, and I fade... away...
  24. I am taking my son for a check up tomorrow and we are going to make a decision on his medication. We recently switched him to Concerta, which is an all day time-released medication. That works pretty well but I think he still needs a stronger dose. His behavior has been pretty out of control lately, he has also been sick and unable to attend school all week, which is tiring for me. I would like to know if anyone knows or has heard of the medication Atterol. The school nurse recomended it when he first got started on ritalin about a year ago. Especially if any of you have taken either of these med's I have mentioned. I wonder what the side effects are. Someone here in his cubscouts mentioned that their sons take some sleeping medication to help them sleep at night as they, like my son, are often up until 1 am. Which makes getting up for school difficult too. Thank you in advance for any advice, I appreciate all the help that I can get!
  25. This if course was written not long after this attempt. I thank God everday i failed one last time... In my room, walls so bare. thinking of my empty life, for me who cares? Ive tried so hard to make it through. I used to dream of finding someone true. The world would be better off without me. I lock the door so no one can see. In my hand, the bitter pill. Tossing my options but only finding ill will. In the other hand a glass of water. I wonder if I would be like this if I had a father. Tears begin to roll down my face. I cannot believe im still here, living is such a waste. I stare at the pills in my palm yes I am crying but through all of this I am still calm. I begin to wonder if the pills will take to long, maybe a blade to my wrist or is that wrong? I put the pills on the floor, I grab the blade and check the door. I sit on my bed and close my eyes. the pain mounts in my wrist but I hold back my cries. I open my eyes but still see black. what did i do? Will i ever come back? If my life is over, please forgive me. I want to come back, i want to see. I pray this is just a dream, i pray i wake up alive and screaming. Please Lorde forgive me for what I have done. Let me come back to life, i realize life must be won. Thank you Lord, you let me live. from now on in my life, I will not take, but i will give.
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