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About Me

  1. When love and relationships become strained, often the furthest thing from both parties’ minds is the idea of assistance in any form. Yet when it comes to an estranged sister, sometimes the right thing to do is to offer assistance even if a reconciliation isn’t possible. If you’re considering helping your sister financially, here are a few suggestions to make the process as smooth as possible. The first step is to think long and hard about why you feel compelled to support your sister. Are you wanting to help because you still care for her or because you have guilt or regret? Regardless of the reason, being honest with yourself is essential so that you don’t cause more damage through your actions. Another important factor to consider is how your sister would potentially receive your offer of assistance. Could she see it as an intrusion or a lack of respect for her personal autonomy? The last thing you want to do is create more strife between the two of you. Take a moment to consider the best way to approach the conversation. Should you reach out in person, by phone, or through email? Be aware of how the request might come across and choose the method you feel most comfortable with. Before you actually offer financial support, make sure you have done your research. Check any current financial resources your sister has access to and don’t forget to examine your own resources to ensure that you can handle helping her. Once viable options have been laid out, take a logical assessment of the situation. You may become tempted to give your sister whatever she desires or needs, but use caution and thoughtful reasoning in this situation. Come up with an agreement that is good for both of you. Having a written document outlining the details will help ensure that each party involved understands the expectations going forward. It may also be beneficial to consult an attorney during this step to make sure both you and your sister are protected. Helping a loved one financially can be a tricky situation, especially if it's a sister who is estranged. With patience, understanding and respect, however, you can create a mutual agreement that benefits you both. No matter what, remember that your offer of assistance is a big deal. While it may not fix all of the issues between you, it can show that you still care and want the best for your estranged sister.
  2. "What do you do when your own sister doesn’t want you at her wedding?” I asked my best friend as I tried to make sense of the situation. My sister had recently invited me to her upcoming wedding and made it very clear that she wanted me there, but things had changed. I had just received a new, cold email from her wedding coordinator with a note letting me know that I wasn’t welcome. As if it wasn’t hard enough being excluded from the biggest day of her life, it was even worse knowing why—because of how I looked. The truth is, I hadn't been feeling great about myself recently. It all started after I gained some unexpected weight throughout my pregnancy and had remained stuck in a much bigger size than I was before. I had been trying to take care of myself for the last few years to get back to my original size, but nothing worked out, and it began to feel like I was at a dead end. I thought my sister’s wedding would be my chance to reinvent myself and surprise her with a major glow up, but as soon as that plan was squashed, it felt like I was crushed under my own self-loathing. I knew there was nothing I could do about her decision to exclude me, but I also knew that I had to make some changes if I was ever going to move past this moment. With the help of my best friend and a few well-timed therapy sessions, I eventually found my way out of the darkness that was my own insecurities. The first thing I did was let go of any unrealistic expectations of how I should look. Every body is different, and as long as I was healthy, that was all that mattered. Taking pressure off of myself quickly helped me dive deep into finding healthier habits to practice every day. I started swapping unhealthy meals for healthier options, going for more walks instead of reaching for snacks, and instead of living in the gym, I focused on becoming more mindful of my body with yoga classes and stretching. I also started to focus more on dressing for my current shape, instead of what I wished I looked like, which allowed me to look put together and confident no matter the situation. I was beginning to make progress, both physically and mentally, and although my sisters wedding came and passed, I continued to stay motivated. Every pant size I dropped or workout I attended felt like a win, and more importantly, my mood had completely changed so that I wasn't living solely off of external validation anymore. Now, I'm not only back in pre-maternity clothes, but I'm fit, confident, and ready to take on anything life throws at me. It's been almost a year since my sister’s wedding, and while it's not exactly how I wanted to start my journey, I'm grateful that it ultimately led me to a place where I'm not defined by what I see in the mirror. Where ever you are on your journey, always remember that it’s okay to take time for yourself and do what works for you—you're allowed to set your own standards and love yourself as you are.
  3. It isn't unusual for siblings to have disagreements, but when a bride threatens to uninvite a sister from her upcoming wedding it's definitely serious. The tension between the two can cause a lot of stress and drama in the family. Luckily, there are things that the family can do to prevent this situation from becoming a huge problem. One of the first things to remember is that the bride has every right to invite who she wants at her wedding. If she feels that her sister’s presence would cause too much drama, then she is within her rights to ask her to stay away from the ceremony. That said, it’s important to keep the conversation civil and remain respectful. The bride should avoid putting her sister on the spot and emphasize her wish to keep the ceremony drama-free. It’s also important to remember that everyone has a right to express his or her feelings. The bride should be allowed to express her concerns without being shut down by her family members. However, everyone should communicate in a respectful manner and allow each other to finish his or her thoughts before jumping in with an opinion. This can help maintain a healthy dialogue between the bride and her sister. Another helpful suggestion is to encourage the bride to explore other options instead of outright telling her sister not to come. For example, the bride might suggest the sister seats with another family member during the ceremony. This way, both the bride and the sister can have their needs met without making their relationship overly strained. No matter what the situation is, it’s important to take a step back and try to really listen to each other. Everyone’s words and feelings should be taken into consideration and respected. Don’t get caught up in the heat of the moment. Once the dust settles, both parties should come to some kind of mutual understanding about the appropriate way to handle the situation. Finally, the wedding day should be a happy and special one so whatever solution is chosen should reflect that. If the bride decides not to invite her sister to the wedding, it’s important to make sure the sister feels respected and valued. It might help to suggest alternatives like throwing the sister a mini celebration afterwards or simply writing her a thoughtful note. When the bride is threatening to uninvite her sister from the wedding, it can be a stressful situation for everyone involved. However, by taking a step back and listening to each other, families can work together to create a peaceful resolution that celebrates both of their relationships.
  4. When it comes to having to pick between important dates that conflict, it can be a difficult position to be in – and often, we have to make impossible choices. I was recently faced with having to decide whether or not I should take my much-anticipated beach holiday versus attending my sister’s wedding. After much deliberation, the choice for me was clear – the holiday won out. To those who find my decision selfish, I say this: I booked my holiday first – and there was never any expectation I had to choose one or the other. My family is close – as close as they come. We were all raised with the same values; to be kind and generous and to always show up for each other when needed. Over the years, I have done my bit. Everything from standing in as the de facto father figure when our own was absent, to being the peacekeeper of the family through the tough times and even throughout more mundane tasks such as running errands, picking up groceries and so on. In regard to the recent news of my little sister’s impending nuptials, I was equally as thrilled as the rest of them. I shared in her joy, her elation and her anticipation for it all to occur. That is, until I realized it would directly cut into my pre-planned vacation. It was a no-brainer. My vacation was my one this year and for months I had been planning for it. This wasn’t just any holiday; this was to be a special getaway where I could really switch off, indulge in some well deserved self-care, treat myself and unplug from the stress of work for a few weeks. Even before my sister had announced her wedding, I had already booked flights, accommodation, and activities. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I refused to let it slip through my fingers. That’s why I pushed back against being guilted into dropping it all because of my sister's wedding. It was never fair to expect me to do that. Sure, my family was still shocked and aghast at my lack of commitment to the wedding, but that didn’t faze me. I accepted their disappointment and went ahead with my plans. My parents and siblings didn't understand why I was seemingly so selfish, all I had worked for disappeared in their eyes the moment I made it known that I would spend the happiest day for my little sister on a beach instead. But it seemed like no amount of reasoning would convince them. At the end of the day, I didn’t care. I have done what I deemed best for me and I stand by that. Yes, it may have been hard for me to indicate that I wasn't available for my sister's wedding, but it was an action that was necessary to my well-being. In the future, I hope that everyone will have a better understanding of what really matters – which, in my opinion, is that life is to be enjoyed; goof times are best enjoyed as they come and if it’s something you feel is best for yourself in a particular moment, don’t let it slip away.
  5. first of all thank you for your time and, my english may not be that good but im gonna try my best im a 15 year old girl and i have a 4 years older sister (19) who literally starts punching me on the face and pulling my hair whenever i ask her to, for example; move away when im sweeping the floor or when i ask her to clean the mess she made with food on MY bed... like im not even asking her to do me a favor she just refuses to act like a decent human being, she takes "dont tell me what to do" to a whoooooole new level.. she gets so easily offended by literally nothing and thats her biggest insecurity i once called her a snowflake and she almost broke my nose lmao i regret nothing. and because of what. because she pushed me away when i was sitting next to her holding the laptop, reading the news about the BTS meal, and i asked her to search for the price and she got offended thats why i called her a snowflake and she was TRIGGERED 🙂 when it comes to decent respect to family members or people in general, shes a complete a*hole. shes not participating in the chores (i always have to do her part of the chores) plus she always act like we owe her something; using my things without permission and throwing it on the floor when i want it back... and much more. our little sister is 12 and she never interacts with her cuz she knows how of a psychopath she is, and our older sister sometimes try to pick on her as usual but i often stand up for her because im the one who knows her weaknesses and i just cant let her win. this s**t didnt happen overnight, she used to abuse me physically and emotionally when we were kids and i learned how to use it all against her, shes just projecting her insecurities on others and i make sure shes always reminded of how weak she is to act like that.. sounds manipulative i know, shes one of the mostly people on earth that i have 0 empathy left for her, i would say that is my coping mechanism, i always win at argument, so her only comeback is the hitting and thats the only thing she wins at, but that doesnt affect me as much as it affects her, i dont really feel anything when she hits me it just gets old.. no f*cks left to give thats it, and i know how much words trigger her so i would never keep my mouth shut bcz i can 🙂 neither of us is mentally stable at this point, but i try as much as i can not to let people go through what ive gone through, something she does the complete opposite of, and i love making the people of her kind have a taste of their own medicine the most important part, are my parents paying attention to this? yes and no. i feel like theyre doubting themselves for her being like this, because... no need to sugar-coat this, child abuse is so normalized in our culture and my older sister was so mentally affected by which made her ego so fragile... are they doing anything to help? hear me out, when my sister and i get into a fight im "the only one who they can communicate with, safely" and i just need to ignore her because "im more mature"... like she always throws a tantrum like a f*cking 2 year old, crying and screaming whenever they try to discipline her saying that "they are the reason why she is like this" no b*tch stfu youre just a snowflake and you trying to make us feel bad while youre the one who always starts it off and tries to get away with it like a weak ass bi*ch like how can any parents expect and consider the victim who is also the youngest, to be more mature? how does that make you feel about yourself as a f*cking 19 year old? it bother me most when i see them not incharge of all of this, it makes me think: "when is she going to cmmit dead and leave us all in peace?" i even get death threats from her and i get bruises on my body and my scalp is hurting af its literally a miracle that she didnt break any bone in my body yet and MY PARENTS ARE NOT HELPING I SWEAR SOMEDAY IM GOING TO CALL THE POLICE
  6. This is a bit of a story, but any advice or input would help me so much. my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and in the beginning me and his sister got along fine. We weren’t super close but got along good. After about 6 months (summer) she wanted to go to the beach and do things with me, and I was super excited cuz all my past relationships have been toxic and I was excited to finally have an in law. I started a new job and wasn’t available as much, and one day she just stopped asking me to hang out. after a couple of months of only seeing her around the property, we ended up going to a local bar with other friends. When we were alone; she told me when my bf and I first met on a dating app, that he was stuck between me and another girl and only Chose me because the other girl changed her mind. Of course I immediately called my boyfriend and as soon as I dialed, her back peddling began. My bf told the truth. He was talking to a girl with that name, a year before we Met, and they only spoke a couple of Times. The situation was let go because she was drunk and denied malicious intent. 6 months later I was spending the night at my boyfriends house, we would have beeN together for a year and a half at this point. I open the drawer ive been using since the beginning of our relationship, to find underwear that doesn’t belong to me. I’m shock, all I said was these aren’t mine and left the room. My boyfriend gets up, and walks out the door. I didn’t know what was going on. When he gets back his mom is with him, and he’s clearly upset/sad/angry, and asks her if he was over to his house (neighbours) and accidentally put them there. She said no but confirmed that they were 100% his sister cuz she saw them in the wash recently. She has no idea how they made it next door, into my drawer. And of course, the sister denies it. ove this past summer I got her a job with me, since the pandemic work has been tough, and even after everything she put me through, when she asked if I could get her an interview I did. After she got the job she repaid me by talking ill of my to my coworkers (one being my cousin) and telling me the bosses were saying I was too slow at the job and I was the worst employee. She only did it to turn my self esteem. iF you’ve made it this far, im So sorry for the length. So much has happened. This last part is the most recent tho. one night she came over and was just hanging out when she asked my bf if she could spend the night on the couch. No big deal. Before anyone could say anything in response she said “if you guys wanna *** it’s okay I don’t mind listening”. as someone with siblings this completely mind blew me and my bf. He just said no. And to go back to their parents. My boyfriend found it weird and says he spoke to her and she just wasn’t thinking before she spoke. he has since kinda just pushed it aside and forgot about it, but it still sits weird with me. When we’re at family meals i sometimes see her licking her fingers and staring at him, idk if it’s supposed to be a childish joke or something a little darker. She has no boundaries. We plan to move in together within the next couple of years. And I’m scared of what’s going to happen. My boyfriend says there will be boundaries and he won’t let me be uncomfortable especially in my own home, but I feel guilty since the family is so close knit and as of now if she wants to come over she can just barge in. And scared of her reaction when those boundaries are put in place and she can’t just invade whenever she wants. thanks for reading. I’m just wondering what other people would do if they were me, or my advice on maybe what her deal is. Cuz my mind as been over ever scenario, and i mean every single one.
  7. No one in this world loves me. I'm not close to my moms family and I live my life alone with no family around me. I got in contact with my estranged father after 20 years of no contact and found out that he has a 10 year old daughter. I made a mistake and looked him up on Facebook and his daughter is extremely beautiful. There are so many pictures of them out and about doing things and I developed this toxic jealousy against her and I feel terrible about it. I'm realizing he will never love me as much as he loves her. She's his little girl. Not me. He doesn't even know me. He attempts to message me almost every day but its normally just small talk. I want this relationship to work out but I struggle with the fact that he is very capable of living life without me. He did it for 20 years. What should I do about this?
  8. Hi So ya, to start with my mom found out that that my dad has an affair with another woman and they always meet. Almost every day actually. To be honest I am torn with respect toward my father and hatred. Now my father wanted to take that woman as a second wife ( my country allows polygamous relationship ). Of course, I hate that woman and to make it worst, she went to my house and bang on the door this morning because my mom won't let my dad take his phone or take a step outside without her this last few days. I mean how shameless can she be. My maternal grandma said that mom should go back to her house if dad decided to take that woman. Jokes on you, I hate that woman so much. You see my father was one of the biggest shareholder in a company and that mean he has this tons of authorities in this company. My mom found out that my dad is trying to take that woman as one of the staff there. So my mom went to see the company CEO and well at that time she could not control her anger. You know what my dad did? She scold my mom. That woman also blame my mother's friend for telling her about their affair. I mean she goes around with my dad calling her honey and stuff. They even met each respective family to get blessings and she goes around telling everyone my dad is her boyfriend and they are waiting for my mother approval. Are my mom a jokes to you? It broke my heart to see my dad acting like nothing ever happen and mom keep on crying. You see my mom is a housewife. She said that she become a housewife when my dad coaxed her to take care of the children. If not for dad, she will have a brighter life. After she married my dad she got an offer in one of the biggest company in my country, but she turned it down because she said that she does not want a long distance relationship, later she fell into depression then she got better, then she got a job somewhere closer and later she quit to become a housewife. I am the eldest out of 5 siblings and I am a first year in college with full parents support. So I could not do anything except for the mental support to mum. I am still living with her. Mom said that she is trying to hold herself and ask me to study and get good job, so she can be at ease. My mom is well she is crying almost every day and she only slept for a few hours last night. I am thinking of getting a job, but I know mom and dad will object. I just cant focus and my younger siblings does not know anything. It pain me seeing them and mom. Well I am venting here since I'll stay anonymous here. My mom only told me, her parents and some of the close friends. I will take any advice on what can I do now. Thank you.,
  9. I used to be something of a (so called) poet back in the day. I guess. ------------------------------ cranberry sauce (10/2001) regret for lazy daze & wasted nights i blew my mind out on relativity the sun still rises in the morning & sets over lost angels but i’m a young old man now sometimes i hear them mumbling they’ll come back soon just like they always do to let me know how i'm doing How are you doing? hazy days and lazy nights love for sale but not for keeps everyone looks thinner everyone looks better through sex-soaked strobe lights the movement broken in time unconnected video images from an alternate universe & i’m staring at the moon through red sunglasses invisible to all invincible to no one they’ll be coming for me soon just like they always do blues for sister someone wearing a light sundress and white hat i think i know you i think of you when i’m drinking trying to forget i think i’m sinking calling out to no one waiting to wake up from another man’s reality touch me i’m moving on the outside touch me i’m reaching from the inside they’re almost here
  10. I feel like this is so crazy to be jealous of my boyfriend's sister but I am at my wit's ends here. He and I have been dating since early last fall and he has a very close-knit family. He is especially close to his sister who is only a year younger than he. Well when we first started dating and I met the family I noticed that she seemed kind of territorial of him, hugging him and trying to sit on his lap and always be all by him (instead of me) she acts just as cuddely with her dad so I wrote it off as being a little protective of her brother. Especially since he would always choose me over her. If she was keeping him accross the room with her and I was alone on the sofa I could catch his eye and with an infintesimal tilt of my head he'd come right over to sit with me. At first I could tell this bothered her but a few visits later she and I were bonding really well and she had pretty much stopped all that. Then it got kind of strange. One morning last January he woke up beside me and looked at me groggily (still half-asleep) and the first words out of his mouth were "Lisa ...?" (his sister's name). Now I was laying in bed next to him naked and that his reaction was another girl's name by mistake was weird enough but his sister?! I was creeped out! Now I admit that she and I look similar - both built the same, long brown hair, etc the only real difference is that her hair is curly and mine is straight. Well that night I had gone to bed wearing my hair curly so it was curly in the morning. That is the argument in his favor - I resembled her and he was sleepy. On the other hand, it's odd that his first thought upon seeing a naked girl in bed with him was of his sister. I told him it made me uncomfortable but he repeatedly told me I was crazy and that 'at least it's sis not some other girl' etc. Finally I just dropped it because nothing came of our discussions. Ever since that happened I struggle with feeling jealous of the sister. When he complains about the guys she dates or spends ages talking about how great she is (so smart - got in to so and so school ..... so pretty, all the guys like her) etc I have to really work to hide that it bothers me. Other than this one thing my boyfriend is the ideal bf. He is sweet, attentive, romantic, never looks at another girl twice, treats me like a princess, a dream come true. I'd like to hear what y'all have to say about this. Am I crazy or would you be bothered too? and what can I do about it?
  11. Okay, I have a question. I'm not a professional in Photography and would like to start from somewhere. I just dont know how and were to start. I've never taken photo's from events. The only pics I take are my sister and thats just for fun, but I like to start out slowely and work my way up to big events like weddings, engagment, of any sort. What I want to know is that how can I go after customer's because i know some people are looking for professional photographer's that they've done something before in hand and do have a portfolio but I dont. I want to start of small but dont know were to start off from. Do I need to make a website first? And share what I did before? Do I need to set my prices before I post anything? Please let me know cuz I really want to get into this and its been a dream of mine to be a photographer cuz I am known for my talent. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
  12. Hey everyone. I found this awesome thing on the internet that allows you to edit a video with a picture that you wish. It makes for a very fun and nice surprise or gift for a family member, like your father or something. Or even a nice surprise for your significant other (boyfriend/husband). Have a look it is really cool: (And lol.. the picture I have on this is from my father at my sister's wedding back in 1994 lol It is so hilarious so I had to use it) link removed P.S: He was extremely happy and laughing for a good 5 minutes over this lol.
  13. I have a problem that has been going on for years. My sister married my husband's brother about 4 years ago - then they ended up getting divorced after 2.5 years of marriage. They had a daughter out of the relationship. He was an alcoholic and they had a terrible relationship - it was a mistake from the get go. Now, they are divorced and my husband hates my sister with a passion because when they got divorced, she got the house and his brother didn't get anything out of it. He doesn't even want to be around her and he badmouths her whenever he gets a chance. My sister isn't perfect by any means - she has a bad temper and has a problem with the way she talks to her son (for which she is getting counseling), but his hatred of her REALLY hurts me because I'm close to my sister. I feel especially protective of her because she has a rare disease (dermatomyositis) and I am uncertain of her future in the long run, so I value her that much more. This has caused extreme resentment and anger toward my husband on my part - he has said he will stop badmouthing her in front of me but his feelings will never change. He has also said some things about other members of my family. We are going to move out of state in the future and he doesn't want to live near any of them (for the record, the rest of my family love my husband). This is making me SO depressed. I wish he would just forgive my sister and let us get on with our lives. She is in a new relationship now and he wants nothign to do with either my sister or her new boyfriend - if they are at my parents' house, he doesn't want to be there. I love my husband a lot, but I'm wondering what our future holds as I'm close to my family and his feelings, though I know I can't change then, are making me extremely resentful and feel colder toward him. I am so depressed and feel helpless. I don't know what to do. I don't want a divorce, but I just want peace and harmony in the family. Am I being unrealistic about this?
  14. hi i am 17 years old and last year my mum commited suicide. i am finding it hard to cope and cut on a daily basis. i want to stop but i am stuggling with lots of other things in my life that are making it impossible to focus on stopping. i get images in my head of my mum burning (she set herslf on fire) and i dream about her all the time. i had alot of problems with my mum when she was alive as she was mentally ill and was an alcoholic but i now feel guilty for not helping her enough to be able to let her know that i was there for her. i cant stop thinking that it is my fault that she is dead and i feel really bad for my little sister who is now in foster care. i visit my sister once a month and she asked me things about our mum. i dont know what to say to her as it just upsets me. i have a psychiatrist, psychotherapist and i go to anger management sessions . i am also on medication but nothing seems to be helping me. i have also recently started to see people around me burst into flames which sends me into a panic attack. my teachers at college know of my problems and support me but i feel that i am letting everyone down. please help, i dont know what to do. is this normal for someone who is grieving or am i just crazy?
  15. This isn't a poem, it's fiction. However, I've seen stories in here before and it is my own work inspired by alot of things I have strong feelings on so hopefully it's all cool Anyway, this is the first chapter of a story I'm working on. I'm really happy with the actual plot I've come up with (mostly the product of 5 to 6 years spent with no girlfriend and WAY to much idle imagination). The thing is, I'm at all sure I have the skill to write it. Thus, I'm posting a little segment of it here and, hopefully, I'll get some feed back. It's Fantasy fiction and I'm looking for brutally honest opinions. I can take it ********************************************************* Illis’Iyan, the jewel in the crown of the Empire. Its buildings wrought from the rock of Tirean by ancient elven masons, its streets wide and spacious and its walls high and thick. At its heart stood the mighty Temple of the Founding, with its pristine spire rising up from the city to pierce the sky like some great needle. Beneath this behemoth structure, spread throughout this city, were the enormous buildings and establishments of the Illisian Empire that saw to its governance and continued existence. If a bird flew above this magnificent edifice of man and had the mind to reckon such things, it would see a vast circular span accross the green land of Tirean. All shining white stone, broken in parts only by lush park lands and sliced through the middle by the fast flowing waters of the Eispon River, the life blood of the city. With such a wondrous city to behold, a stranger to these lands could be forgiven for thinking that all that dwell within the alabaster walls of Illis’Iyan had lifestyles that matched their home. This, however, was not the case for poverty existed within the heart of the Empire just as it did throughout its body. Such it is that we begin our tale within the less magnificent parts of Illis,Iyan; the slums. Under the shadow of the northern wall was a part of the city that was very different from the rest. In the place of the wide airy walkways and structures of white stone, carved and shaped by masters, there were only wattle and daub homes set into narrow dark streets. The unfortunate inhabits of this wretched place suffered greatly form it confines. Their lives were short and miserable, filled with long days of toil that served only to allow them to continue existence in such a sorry manner. It would seem likely that no one here could have any tremendous impact on our story but that would be an err of judgment. Within the dark streets of this slum were two small children. They sat in a hollow off the walkway, covered by filthy blankets in a vain effort to keep out the chill. To look at them, a passer by would not think much. They seemed little more than simply another two hungry children that many of the cities more affluent citizens would prefer to pretend did not exist. These children were related, twin siblings not more than four years old, a boy and a girl. Their short life story was a sorrowful one; orphaned at birth, denied a warm home, they were unwanted and survived on the charity of others. What part could two such beings play in the fate of the mighty Illisian Empire? Well we shall see in time. * * * * * * * * * * To the eye of a beholder, these small children shared a very similar outward appearance. Both had midnight black hair, pale skin and sky blue eyes set within deeply dark sockets. The girl had long hair that stretched behind her back; it also fell over her face, hiding it from view. The boy had short hair, his face was un covered yet marked in several spots by dirt and grime. He cradled his sister as she rested her head upon his chest while she slept. Truth be told, these children were not long for this world. How could two small children survive alone in the dark and dangerous streets of a filthy slum? Indeed, they could not. Whatever meagre charity a passer-by might render these sorry creatures merely delayed the inevitable. However fickle the card that the gods of chance had dealt these children, their lot in the world of Alnimus was about to change. Out of the gloom came three black robed figures, walking slowly towards the twins. Their faces were covered by their hoods and in the growing darkness it lent them a sinister air. The small boy saw them approach and looked down at the muddy street in hope that avoiding their gaze would avert any interest they may have had in his sister and himself. However, these black clad figures that approached the twins did not ignore them. Instead they continued their advance until they had halted just besides the crouching children. “Railis?” said the foremost of the newcomers, addressing the boy before him. The child did not answer immediately but he saw that the strangers were not going to leave him be by the unspoken will of his silence. “Y-yes” he answered timidly. The strangers exchanged glances under their hoods. Then the newcomer to the right of the one that had spoken crouched down to near eye level with the boy. “Railis, my boy” the stranger spoke, revealing the child her gender, a woman. “You are a hard child to find and we have been looking for you these past weeks. We went to the orphanage where we understood you and your sister to be but the matron told us you both had run away. Now why would you do that?”. To Railis’s ear, the woman sounded kind and gentle but the boy had learnt not to trust words so easily. How unfortunate it was that a child of his young age had seen so early in life that even the warmest of words can come from the coldest of hearts. “We had to leave” he answered the woman, “they were hurting my sister”. He nodded in the direction of his still sleeping sibling. The woman drew back her hood. She looked to be perhaps in her late thirties yet her hair was still a rich auburn and her face showed few signs of aging. In fact, the only thing about her that would give her age away was the look of great wisdom, the type earned over years, behind her hazel eyes. “They hurt your sister?” she asked inquisitively, reaching to brush the girls hair from her face. Her brother moved her back slightly and gave the woman a dark look. “Please, be at peace. I do not wish to hurt her” the woman reassured the child, seeing the expression on his face. The boy still however did not relax his tense posture. “Her name is Arifen, is that right?” asked the woman warmly Railis nodded and then after a moment he resumed a more at ease position. The woman smiled at him, “she is lucky to have a brother that cares so much for her”. Brushing back the tangled raven hair from the child’s face, the woman was saw that the girls pretty young features were marred with several bruises. She immediately looked back at her companions who in turn exchanged looks. Before she could render any sentence on the subject, the young girl suddenly awoke and saw the three black clad adults staring at her. Giving a brief yelp of fear, the newly awoken child buried her head into her brothers chest who gripped her tightly in response. “What do you want from us?” the boy demanded, suddenly frowning at the three strangers. “Please, do not be afraid” the woman said, trying to calm the children. “Perhaps it is time to introduce ourselves. My name is Vasca Shial” she said. Then the two standing behind her drew back their hoods revealing that they were two men of what appeared to be close in age to the woman that called herself Vasca. “And these are my companions, Mathyus Deail and Asiaer Rosca” she said introducing the two men who nodded in greeting to the children. Railis regarded each of the three adults in turn and was just about to speak when he noticed the pommel of a sword at the belt of the woman in front of him. “You’re soldiers?” he asked. The woman named Vasca shook her head. “No my young friend, we are warriors, knights of the Order of the Founding. Perhaps you have heard of us” she said, knowing well that the child would have heard stories of her Orders deeds which were legendary throughout the Empire. “Yes I’ve heard of you but why do you care about us?” can the boys reply. He continued to stare at them while still cradling his sister‘s quivering form, impressing the knights with his clear and unhidden desire to protect her despite him being just a child. Vasca took a breath and considered the child’s question before answering. “It is a complicated subject to explain to you Railis. I can see you have wisdom beyond the mind of a child yet this is not the place to discuss the matter” she said. She then held her hand to the boy, “perhaps you would like to come with us and then we can tell you what you want to know”. Railis looked at the knight’s proffered hand but did not move. “We can offer you a hot meal and a warm bed” Vasca said, hoping to temp the children into accepting her offer. Again the boy did not take her hand but instead voiced a question. “Where do you want to take us?” he asked. Vasca smiled at him. “A fair question my child” she said, “We wish to take you to our home, the Temple of the Founding”. The mention of the intended destination of the knights sparked an interest in Railis, for he had heard many stories of the mighty fortress of The Empire’s finest warriors and he had wished greatly to see the building one day. With a nod, he finally took the woman’s hand and stood up. His younger sister, however was not so quick to rise. Staying seated on the ground she held tightly to her brother’s hand. “Railis!!…” she whimpered through gathering tears, caused by an unvoiced fear of the knights. Railis knelt down to help her to her feet. He then whispered something into her ear that the knights could not hear but which seemed to have a calming effect upon the girl. She wiped her eyes in the sleeves of her dress and gripped her brother’s arm tightly while keeping her eyes on the ground in front of her. Then, together with the three knights, they set off down the street to whatever fate it may lend them. Thus is was that two beings from the lowest level of life began a journey that would one day re-shape their world in ways neither of their young minds could fathom.
  16. Mothers -- ! I used to be amongst you, at the very beginning when I was ushered in through the human echo. Wicked fiends and gracious saints, I came in and joined you. Mothers -- ! I used to be amongst you, surrounded by maids, other mothers on all fours, masks and gloves, vapors and herbs, all animals, all together now as one animal, Mother. ************ “She died in childbirth” -- As they did in huts of clay and thatch and woven walls, Arctic ice and out in fields of rice, in the crags of mountains, knees bending over stars and high noon. Their time has come, since the time rivers bathed us all, every last one. And rivers have lain at the feet of what Mothers’ bones know. “She died in childbirth” -- Crimson cries splitting the skies, every sphere shaking with chains of tears. Faces drugged in sweat, legs like jaws shudder silent -- while the stains soak through all of night and seep into the sun. A flare bursts, warm wailing is here intact, coursing veins are plucked pulsing from the No-longer-intact: lacerated, ruptured, hemorrhagic -- Her coal eyes turning from scarlet to grey to black. Mothers -- ! I once was amongst you, when I was five and I pulled plastic Suzie doll from my loins to bathe in the sink; when I fed her to my breast of ribs, inside a baby nightgown. Mothers -- ! I once was amongst you, when I was fourteen and joined your tribe in small pink blots. I rejoiced and clutched them secretly, washed them out in the sink. “Died in Childbirth”. I draw a finger ‘round nymphal navel. In the mirror, a firm and placid arc, I place my palm upon this circle. No one will ever kiss this spot for what it contains. I will never stretch here and pucker through tented garb. I will never swell with another, never awaken to your thumping pangs. My roots will not grow into that essential braid linking Our knots, end to end — blue, purple And strong as a white tide. We will never exchange The Elements, You will never breathe through me. And I will never seize those around my feet who know well by experience because now it’s my turn. No one will gather ‘round as I lower myself to the bottom of Ages. I won’t be Spring, nor Summer. I won’t be gathered into the center of the Earth, spread East to West a voice of peals and rockets, defying everything, allowed anything, howling free as the wilderness. I will never be scooped up and told to roll, I will never have the rough cloth dabbed against my temples, throbbing with shrill brain. I will never look over the hill of my own making, the bastion you are leaving, and feel my soul erupt. No, I stay safely closed. My entrance never to be an exit. Darkness falls upon my prepared bed, the bed I’ve prepared for you again and again. My deep and soft chamber you will never visit on the way to becoming. No, I will not be one of them, with battle scars, or marks of distinction, skin never the same. I will never be split, I am safe from your head ready between my pelves. I will never perish on the sands, in the paddies, on the dirt or the high bed, nor in a polished room of scrubs. There will be no drum, no sudden fury for me. I will never be a million years old in the span of one day. I will never perish with your breath severed from mine, and you will never love on without me because I gave my life that you be born. But I’ll perish of your never finding, never filling me. Without sisters and grandmothers, without forceps and cutting edges, desperate drips or fingers thrust inside, people with their hair up to help me live. I’ll stay back, untouched and tied. Clean. Composed. Barren. Nullipara, null and void. Non-gravida, a grievous seed. “They died in childbirth”, a grave dug and marked for heroines. I dig a grave inside myself for unused soil and rain, the dances that won’t be danced, the light I won’t bring you to, the nest that will never be flown. I dig a grave for my chance to die.
  17. Does anyone believe in people being sensitive to ghosts? I have had a few strange experiences in the middle of the night where I've see 'someone', and I know I definitely wasn't dreaming! Also, when I was a little boy (about 4) my uncle died but they told me he'd gone on holiday. But every so often I would say I could hear music and then I used to see him (usually stood behind my mum pulling faces at her!) I don't really remember but that's what they tell me used to happen! It really used to freak them out! And there have been a few times that I've been going to do stuff like leave my younger sister in the house on her own whilst I went to the shop but as I was about to go I'd hear 'NO' shouted in my ear! It always seems to happen in the same room as well (unfortunately my bedroom!) What do people think? Sound at all familiar to anyone, or you just think I'm crazy!?
  18. Its such a long story but i'll try to keep it short. It all started about 3 years ago when i first started dating my partner it was great we conncted together and had lots of fun. I moved out of my parents house into my own and he followed. I enjoyed it so much, but slowly things started to change!! On numerous occasions i heard rumours that he was seeing other people, then i got confirmation from a friend i had not long met. But of course he denied it. Although he was still there i was very unhappy. A year late i became pregnant with our first child. We were both over the moon. We began to get closer when i found out that he had another baby on the way. Again he denied it. His sister then told me and he admited it. I kicked him out of my house and told him i never wanted to see him again, but that same evening he came to sisters and begged me to stand by him and i said i would. Every since that day i've regreted ever meeting him, his lied , cheated again and hit me. He claims he is changing, but i can't see it HELP. and
  19. Another from the archives I wrote this 10 years ago for my sisters wedding ceremony There is a lantern today, that shall be lit. It is full of oil, with a perfect wick. It's a perfect flame, with a perfect light. Only two shall see, from the perfect light. It will lighten any darkness in the years from now. It'll guide you both, when you don't know how. It is yours alone, for no-one else to see, Your vision by this lantern, is for eternity. P.S. They're still together with a third on the way
  20. I don't know which category to put this in so I hope someone has some advice. My sister is a meth addict and has been for some years now. We all just found out the extent of it a little over a year ago, after she had her 3rd child. She neglects her kids, she's always high, smokes it right in front of them, has crashed her car, fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion and her son got out of the house and accross the street... We have called social services and the police. She lives in a very small rural town and the poice said they are aware of her and her use but they need to catch her. Child services said they know it sucks, but they have to get word from the police dept before they go in. WHAT?!?! There are children in danger NOW. What is this whole, 'wait until something happens' crap? Anyway, she's pregnant AGAIN and about to destroy the life of yet another human. Is there anything we (her family) can do? Can we call the hospital where she will give birth and put them on alert? Have them test the baby for meth when its born? Just short of kidnapping her kids (which I've been adivsed against by social services) I don't know what to do for my poor little nieces and nephews. I care about my sister too but right now I'm focused on the kids. Anybody have any suggestions?
  21. I know you love me but, your like my enemy. Sometimes we battle on these grounds of my home my mother pounds the door for the sounds to stop but our pains and hate for each other drowns out her wishes and intermissions. Oh, i love you too but, only now as my misstress you not worth the misses, the kisses, me to listen, or to even be my misses. Not even the memories could save us. This damn pride is enslaveing us but, I cant get enough of you your my only one, your my drug your hugs are like heroin, your smell's cocaine, your sex, taste. Oh its extasy but, like that very tumor you've grown on me and I need you cut away from me. Despratly. The wars we go through the only cassualties, me or you. I've even asked john legend, musiq, or even trey songs what to do. john said "Take it slow." musiq said "Dont change, ask her how to love." trey said "Y'all just gotta make it strive for what was." But I cant wait. But John and Trey said "when all else fails just cheat." Then Musiq looked at the dishonesty as dishonorable and said he disagrees then a shuffled argument aranged between the three. So I said stop without yall im pressing forward cause this problem or dilema is hard to ignore. I droped to the floor asked the lord what to do give me a sign or somthing cause im torn because of you. Nothing. So this how it ends no lovers or friends just enemies til the end but this vicious circle is the reason we'll be back at it again.......... Tell me what yall think my first time letting people see what i do like this except my sister or cousins i need more feed back.
  22. Hey, this is my first post here, but i've been reading the material for awhile now. My girlfriend and i are both freshmen and started dateing last year. After a short break (she needed some time), we are going out again and had our first kiss (very first for us both also). Last night we started making out for the first time (didn't get too far w/ tongue cause her dad interrupted us). When i talked to her later that night, she said that it was "amazing" and said that we should do that again soon. But this morning we started talking and she started going on about how their confirmation class had a speaker come in that talked about chastity and that people should not make out or french kiss because it leads to sex (yes, she's a catholic). I don't agree with it at all (by the way i'm a methidist) so i talked to her about it and basically asked if it was because of her or the church, and i said that if it was because of the church, i don't think we would work out ](*,) . stupid me... so she said that i should treat her like a friend for awhile and not a girlfriend so that she could think about it... i still love her very much and later said that i was sry (we usually talk on IM so it was a message) and now i am not sure what the heck to do. My sister said that she is a bitc* and i should dump her, but i'm not sure. So if anyone else has any experiance with this kind of thing, maybe there is an easy way to show her how wrong the catholic church is, idk. I'm not compleatly sure if i can even hold her hand now because i feel so akward, but i really don't want our relationship to end... help
  23. To make a long story short about 3-4 months ago my sister met my boyfriend when we first started dating. It was at a local bar with about 5 other people that my boyfriend didn't know. So the first question my sister asked him was "so what do you do?" and he replied jokingly "i'm a drug dealer" (which he's not he has a career in finance and makes a great salary). So the other people started joking around and he never seriously answered my sister's question. So my sister didn't like what he said (understandable) and i talked to him about it, he gave me an explanation as to why, and he said he wouldn't say that anymore, and he doesnt. Well, my sister has not let this go and in fact she's going around telling mutual friends and family members what he said but in a negative way. It's really starting to bother me, it hurts, and I don't understand it. Last week we got into this big argument after she said something about him. I mean i don't understand what her deal is. She was in a 5 year relationship didnt tell my parents. And here I introduce him to my parents and my parents reallyyyy like him. I'm kind of venting in this post (and there's more but i didnt want to leave a long post), but at the same time how do i prevent this from ruining my relationship with my sister? This doesn't make sense, shes almost 30 and has a master's in marriage/family therapy. What should i do?
  24. Your friendship was all I wanted To be close To be heard But you threw everything I had away It was my fault It was all my fault- I let you down I could not let go the ignorance and jealousy in me Childishness indeed I stare at your photos now at the person I knew since a child Whom is anything but these days Always with a smile upon her face Though my heart aches I wish the best for you I hope you wish The best for me too Good luck with him He's the only one you'll love That and new friends The door closes on me To your heart Here it ends Brown hair beauty Hazel eyes Found her way alone achieved responsibilites through strife Angelic face, always tried so hard Never let them see her weak At least not as she grew up I will miss what she meant to me The fun days we had, just connecting My closest friend, I hurt you the most Her parents and sister hurt her for show But now they are all her best friends She truly is a beauty I never believed it would end It hurts to lose you This time we won't make up Dont ever think I used you I just knew nothing else to do But show my emotions, raw and all I'm sorry you didnt understand me I'm sorry I blamed you for this Even now, I wish you did and accepted me dearly As I always have of you and will miss sincerly
  25. My step sister is dating a guy and she told my family that she can't stand him because he was diagnosed as having narcisstic personality disorder. Sounds like one mental illness that I wouldn't mind having, what's so bad about loving yourself? From what the little bits of info I've heard it sounds like these people are just very assertive, have high standards and love themselves just the way they are, and this guy isn't even that good looking and he has this disorder. So what's so bad about narcissism???
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