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About Me

  1. THE SHOW WENT ON So in a world of “ones” and “zeroes” No place for “twos” no place for heroes Well, that’s how it goes And in a city full of strangers No queen no throne Just hold my hand so we can dance alone… And carry on – the show goes on So take me home – before it’s gone A thousand ends and still beginning Everyone scores but no one’s winning Still, we’re keeping score The show goes on and nothing changes Please stay a while Go wear your face and find a matching smile And put it on – let’s dance alone The show goes on – and then it’s gone And where it goes – nobody knows So take me home – before it’s gone Just let it go – it’s just a show We dance alone – then go back home …………………. Go with the show every night and be clever Strike a pose and be gone with the wind Go till it’s gone for it goes on forever No one got hurt no one sinned Sleep every night in your morningless places Wake every day in a new different bed For now the show goes on inside your head And there it stays – the DJ plays That famous song – we’ve danced along Take of your face – we’ll find a place To call it home – the show went on Oh! The show went on - (the show went on) ……………………… But I don’t want to go with the show, on and on, on and On, I’ll stay here waiting, dancing and dancing alone ……………………… The show went on – be brave and strong The DJ plays – his final song Inside your head – the show goes on So you can stay – but I’ll be gone Before you know –a brand new show We dance alone – then go back home (Lyrics and music are mine, G. Paloumpis [photo] does the singing) As long as music plays and people share their feelings, no one is ever trully alone! B good! [video=youtube_share;NdC0Ila2Dqs] ]
  2. ALL I EVER WANTED All I ever wanted, Was someone to love, Someone special and divine, And who would be uniquely mine. All I ever wanted, Was someone to kiss, Someone who would stay close in times of despair, And who would always care. All I ever wanted, Was someone ever present when life gets tough, Someone who would hold on real tight, And who would keep me warm at night. All I ever wanted, Was someone to hug, Someone who would quell my every fear, And who would dry my ever tear. All I ever wanted, Was someone close and near, Someone who would be my one true friend, And who would stay until the end. All I ever wanted, Was someone to be my rhythm, Someone who would be my defining dance, And who would give me a second chance. All I ever wanted, Was someone who would listen, Someone who would reach out and hold my hand, And who would always understand. All I ever wanted, Was someone to wake up next to, Someone to cuddle in the morning, And who would be there when the new day is dawning.
  3. Always be like, What you are like, A little pain You are, A little releif... You are like a gentle breeze or a Passion A little silky to my delight Sometimes you are rough and stubborn and give me a bit of fight But I dont want to change you or mend you not even in the least Without decoration and adulteration Neither more nor less ... I love you, just the way you are Let me drench in your rain and dissolve I want you, just the way you are Let me turn to ashes in your flame, and complete the resolve.. Give me wounds for sure, but later come and Soothe me I would even love a wound like that You are an ocean of mylove Let me sink into that.. Hold my hands, hold these hands as we have to walk together, But you can only hold one hand of mine and walk, what about my right hand which would be left alone.....
  4. "Fear's Masquerade" You linger in the shadows with your hungering stare, I inch to move closer but my heart cries, "Don't dare!" Frigid chills fall down my spine; a needle affect, I tense to turn towards you but fail to my discontent, Blurs and swirls of color envelop my senses, My brain moves a million beats per second I've gathered from my consensus, Your cold stare freezes my body in both thought and movement, The first law of motion states I must stay in rest, unless pushed by improvement, A daze cascades over my body; white hot like burning flesh, I hold my hands up in reproach, "I'm fading" is my guess, The final toll has struck from the Bell of deprave, I stand here frozen in space and time, because I could not pry your gaze, The jig is up, I've found you out, there is nothing left for you here, I ask myself why it happened, and the answer was my biggest fear.
  5. Everything seems a little dull; a deep gray, no color here Every sound is a simple lull; no booms or bursts to conjure fear I need something to heal inside; a light to the dark in the room I need something to feel tonight; a change in a rhyme scheme or two. I just want some chaos; something different in my life I could use a touch; a held hand, or two hands upon my sides I'm missing something, something critical, something that makes me, me. Maybe its someone, maybe its just someone that I need. Maybe its a book, a bed a blanket, a tv, or some snow maybe its direction, maybe I just need somewhere to go Maybe I just need to survive. To reach tomorrow and see what I will find. Maybe I just need to need, to see if I feel anything. But I feel everything inside And everything I need Is everything I cannot seem to find I'm feeling so stale, my heart denies. It denies.
  6. This poem I wrote most of it, the words in ''Italic'' are off songs that i related with...... Your love felt like a gift from God. Baby you and I we were so in love. We would've never given up. And you, You made me feel so high, by just looking in your eyes you made me feel so alive. We were blessed. I knew you loved me so, That look in your eyes was enough to let me know. I loved you with every breath that I took, with every beat of my heart. Would imagine one day I'd be your wife. Wouldn've died for you cos you were my whole life. Loving you was easy once upon a time but now my suspicians of you have multiplied. Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me. As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain't the same. I may never understand why but I'm doing the best that I can. My heart was shattered and I tried to breath. My stomach in knots. I couldn't believe, I just didn't wanna see. I remember feeling like I was no good, that I couldn't do it for you. I thought you loved me? You said that I was the one. I gave you my everything, my all but it wasn't enough, I feel like you've given up. No Holding hands down the street. No kisses or falling at my feet. We were so wonderful, so magically beautiful. Wish you didn't change, Wish you stayed the same.
  7. my problem is actually kinda simple..but i really need advice from u all...i have a very nice girlfriend and i really loved her so much...but, recently, there is a guy expressed his love to my girlfriend...Fortunately,my girlfriend rejected him...but, since that day,everytime when i go dating with her, she wouldnt allow me to hold her hands....this never happened to me...but she still give me some kisses everytime when we meet...i asked her why she wouldnt allow me to hold her hand but she never tells me...i m kinda scared...is this a signal that shows that shez gonna broke up with me? or am i just way too sensitive? i hope u can reply my post....i ll appreciate your advice......
  8. I wrote this on my trip up to Quebec, about the trip. See my previous post for details.. So this was the fountain where we were to meet, At this figure, towering toward the sky, water bellowing from every corner Surrounded by people, trees and ancient towers. My socks are wet. Water is overflowing as I swish my hands. But clarity and cleanness is never that simple, and the darkened fabric only grows wider and colder. Maybe your hands once felt these waters, too. It's a long shot, I know, but I can't think of what else to do, or how else to connect with you. Yet, it will be okay. I will pull through, and knowing this I turn, Letting myself air dry. It's an uphill journey from here, but know I will reach the top, and then I will know what to do. Everyone walks by, holding hands, Smiling, taking pictures. Their words are so beautiful in a language I don't understand, the river is so wide, the mountains vast in the distance. Nothing could make it hurt more, but this is where I must be, for with everything comes a lesson, and I understand I am learning even now. So, you've never seen the ocean? Well, I found this on the beach. I kiss the sea shell, and bury next to the flower bed. I mark it with a stick and hope you will one day find it, straight from my land to yours. From my heart to yours.
  9. A Dear Friend of Mine Our eyes have not yet met, Nor have we come together with a friendly hello, But this beautiful I'm beginning to know so well, Is like an eternal beacon of light over the distant horizon aglow. Upon the day we are finally able to meet, Ecstasy and gratitude embedded in the broadness of my smile, I shall greet her with a kind and loving hug, A symbol of hope for a wonderful friendship developed accross the miles. Sometimes I wish I was there to hold her hand, Or simply to embrace her in times of agony and despair, For despite the oceans that separate us, She is someone who is always there. A Valentine's card I posted to her, Depicting the unique beauty of something so wonderful yet true, For still she captures my heart in a way nobody else can, So this gift was meant just for you. There are days when I wonder how you are, Maybe you are sitting a stressful university exam, Or more pleasantly sipping an early morning latte, Perhaps in some way you are also wondering how I am. And so I chose to dedicate this verse to you, Someone special, a girl so beautiful and fine, Whether or not we are soon meant to meet, You will forever be a dear friend of mine.
  10. hello everyone, as some of u can probably appreciate, I hate being single. I go for a walk to shops, couples everywhere! holding hands, making out, with children (I don't want kids or anything) I feel like I'm have my face rubbed in it because Im single. All the guys Im attracted to are spoken for, it's just annoying and I hate being single and I hate it when my friends start saying saying about being dumped and they'll never date again at least they have HAD bf/gf whatever!! how do u cope? LA
  11. (as suggested by allie, i'm posting this here.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I met up with your family, all the kids ran up to hug me, usually it is you they attack so wildly with love, but, you were not there. I walked the streets where we roamed so young and carefee, the streets we took so many bicycle rides, the streets where we zoomed off on your moto, the streets where we fell in love, I couldn't find you. I heard our friends play their music. They drew quite a crowd. I actually found myself getting angry. Your music should be that which is heard. Your's is more beautiful, more full of truth. As it was I stood off to the side wishing you were there holding my hand. but, you were not there. Everyone told me I need to come around more, but in all these places, you are nowhere to be found. I put on my face and said I would, gave some hugs, turned away and walked the busy streets back to my car crying all the way. I wanted so badly to call you up and tell you about my night and then to rush to you for the only comfort I could find on such nights, but you are not here. Instead I cried all the way home, and spoke to you in case you were listening. I hope you are, but sometimes you feel so far, I couldn't find you in any of the usual places. No matter how many faces I see there now, they are empty.
  12. I'm standing here alone, and the breeze is saying hi, Just a comfortable feeling. Just before I'm gonna die, Clouds have crept along forever, shadows creepling further still, Crying out my beaten heart, can you hear the scream so shrill? Yet amongst the darkness deep, I did see a lonely light, And it called and called and called, with its hope no longer bright, So I let my grip a-loosen, and I took a leap of faith, And landed on my memory of all darkness, ghoul and wraith, I saw my chance before me, but it did just betray me, I turned around despairing, thinking I lost completely, But what I saw that moment on, I knew it to be meant to be, For from that moment forth I knew blind I was then - now I could see! She glanced my way holding a smile that sent a shiver through, The trees stopped swaying, leaves floated still, and I knew what to do, I reached out hard, and she did too, we tried and tried and tried, Yet slowly, slowly, bit by bit, our distance grew more wide, Then her smile faltered, mine did too, and time tried waking fast, It roared and screeched and forced its way, 'till it returned at last, The girl reached in her pocket quick, and pulled a tiny thought, A thought of hope, of joy, of love, something that can't be taught, Hurling it forth, I grabbed it's tail, and held it to my chest, My only way out of this place, this gift can do the rest, A smile, that's all, and she was gone, a tear mark on the ground, No chance to even say goodbye, she left without a sound, Time craned its neck to see my face, and nodded ever slow, Staring at me, it held my hand, "Looks like it's time to go" I closed my eyes and was sent back, head bent down the whole while, The only memory in my head, that girl and her warm smile, I wake up in my bed once more, to see the ceiling plain, Have I gone crazy? Guess it was a dream or I'm insane, I walk outside, the night still strong, and breathe the chilly air, An owl looks at me so strange, it does not cease its stare, Something's different, something's changed, I feel it in my mind, Like tiny lights swirling around, my nerves start to unwind, A twitch, my lips feel strange somehow, so THIS is called a smile? I guess the girl never did leave, she was with me all the while, I'm standing here alone, and the breeze is saying hi, Just a comfortable feeling. Just before I'm gonna cry. Just made it up on the spot...it's a metaphorical story about a part of my past
  13. i love to write and i've been feeling especially down lately so i spend a lot of time with my face buried in my moleskine, pen in hand, scribbling. i'm inspired by writers like richard brautigan, and charles bukowski, but i don't think that really reflects in what i write. the tops of my knees through to my feet are covered in small clusters of bruises: fingerprints of ghost hands on the milk skin of my legs because there is no one holding my hand and helping me jump obstacles; no voice warning me of dangers ahead. no one (gently) kisses my wounds with a promise that everything will, in fact, be okay. it's important for me to take these hits and find it out, alone. it's ugly, and it's painful, but where it hurts will eventually heal. in it's place i'll have grown a thicker skin. you can tell i really, really miss someone right now.
  14. Was that you who held my hand today, to get me past the blues? Or let me cry as I saw the florist bringing someone else good news? Have you kept me strong, and somewhat sane, as I try to raise our son? Who told me I could move my ring because my time had come? My strength was gone, yet here I stand. Couldn't get here on my own. You held me up, you dried my tears, you helped me to go on.
  15. Hey, this is my first post here, but i've been reading the material for awhile now. My girlfriend and i are both freshmen and started dateing last year. After a short break (she needed some time), we are going out again and had our first kiss (very first for us both also). Last night we started making out for the first time (didn't get too far w/ tongue cause her dad interrupted us). When i talked to her later that night, she said that it was "amazing" and said that we should do that again soon. But this morning we started talking and she started going on about how their confirmation class had a speaker come in that talked about chastity and that people should not make out or french kiss because it leads to sex (yes, she's a catholic). I don't agree with it at all (by the way i'm a methidist) so i talked to her about it and basically asked if it was because of her or the church, and i said that if it was because of the church, i don't think we would work out ](*,) . stupid me... so she said that i should treat her like a friend for awhile and not a girlfriend so that she could think about it... i still love her very much and later said that i was sry (we usually talk on IM so it was a message) and now i am not sure what the heck to do. My sister said that she is a bitc* and i should dump her, but i'm not sure. So if anyone else has any experiance with this kind of thing, maybe there is an easy way to show her how wrong the catholic church is, idk. I'm not compleatly sure if i can even hold her hand now because i feel so akward, but i really don't want our relationship to end... help
  16. I'm a 21 Black guy whose been in many relationships with all types of women, white, black, latino, asian, etc. But since the college I go to is mainly white I'm mostly interested in White women. The problem is that I get a lot of negative attention from other people for dating a white woman, and most of the time this effects my relationships. I don't get this kind of attention when I date women from other races. Most of the times it's angry stares from guys and whispers from girls. But once I was holding hands with my ex gf(whose white) on a bench and we were talking when a guy whose a part of the crowd passing by shouts "Quit fu****g N*****s". Incidents like that are the main reason why I haven't had much success dating white women. I feel like I have to constantly defend our relationship and deal with crap like that. Not to mention the worst attitude comes from black women. They act like I'm betraying all Black people by dating a white woman and that White girl is taking away a Black man from a sister. The way I see it, I wouldn't be theirs anyways so why do they care? I feel like I should just give up totally on the idea of dating white women, because society is just not ready for that sort of thing. But at the same time I feel like I should be able to live my life the way I want and not be forced to choose who I date/marry based on what other people think. What do you guys think? Has anyone else here had difficulties in interracial relationships?
  17. I don't cut anymore, I used to and still get urges to so this time instead of going into a downward spiral, I just wrote a poem about it. It really is an addiction just as real as alcoholism or substance addiction (I haven't cut in almost a year!) Some call it late night bathroom surgery Some call it making love to pain Ripping sleeves off old t-shirts And dancing broken in the rain Cracked skin, chapped lips All the scars the same Some call it harmless numbness I call it ending my own shame Keep a diary nearby to record your suffering Some use just a notebook I use my own apendeges Averted eyes and dirty looks Take the blade away, take the pen away Amber essense drifting down the hall Carpe Diem just one more endless day You know babe this is not your fault Hold my hand baby, hold my hand This endless addiction Is bringing me to shame This story is not a work of fiction It's my effing life Don't try to save me I can't even save myself Just run away and flee Just like everyone effing else
  18. I am not trying to be races or anything...so sorri if u feel offended I am just wondering if chinese ppl's relationships are different from other relationship (or maybe it's just mine). i been with my gf for 3 years now, and i feel like we aren't doing anything but (somtimes) hug and (somtimes) kiss that is IF I do it first. If i didn't tell her that i felt we were not physical close she probably wouldn't even do those things or notice these problems (but after i told her all she does is holding my hand). It almost feels like she is forcing herself to do these things-_-. We also do nothing new>_ Sorri if i sound like i am complaining...but i think this is a big problem for me...so i wanted to ask if i am the only one with this problem? Or are chinese ppl like this~! (of cuz i am chinese too^^but i grew up in America) Sorri i kinda went offf topic but can u guys still help me out a bit? should i tell her i am not happy about our relationship again? (she seems to not have amy complains about our relationship...also doesn't seem to have much sexual desire either....of cuz she is really nice to me and she is a really good gf but i feel like somthing is alwayz missing...almost make me kinda feel like breaking up somtimes>
  19. I recently re-entered the dating scene after a horror of a 2 1/2 yr relationship which ended last week. Ok so I met this guy and on the first night we hung out talked about our goals and etc we really hit it off,he asked if he could hold my hand and i said I don't think i would be ready for that yet because i'd like to be friends first, to feel him out and he was fine with that. 2nd night/date we had a great time again talking and what not and he kissed me at the end of the date, thats when i felt abit strange because i was sure if that would ruin getting to know him better as a person but we talked about it and it didn't change anything really 3rd night/date had fun again this time we made out quite abit there was alot of hugging and he told me that he doesn't want to push me away or rush me and that he loves spending time with me and looks forward to it.He asked me where we "stood" and i said i didn't know i assumed we where "dating" he took it well, but was just at a lost as i was at how to apporoach what we where doing. Ok after that date we spoke briefly online and he hasn't made contact since.did something go wrong?.I don't want to call or text him because i don't want to come off as "clingy" I just want to know if he's alright or still interested.What would you do
  20. Hey! My friend is doing a research project on affection for a human sexuality class and talking to her has made me think about this issue and I have a question. Which do you think shows greater committment/caring/liking/love? If a man holds his hand on your waist when walking side by side or when he holds your hand?? Why do you think so? Also, does the first time holding hands/waist have a significant meaning? Thank you for the replies!
  21. I had an affair with a co worker for about for about 4 years. She is a wonderful woman with whom I share many interests. Our sex life was very satisfying and we enjoyed each others company. She finally got tierd of not having someone to be with at night and someone to hold hands with in public, so she kinda accidentally found someone else. She still wants to be friends. I know I got just what I deserve but, I felt as if my heart had been torn out. She is such a nice person that she has tried very hard to comfort me, saying that she cried a lot before she made this decision and that I am a better lover than he is. I am getting better but, I am married to a simple person who I really have nothing in common with. I care about her but I don't want to be with her anymore. This situation has been like this for a long time. We don't have sex and have not for years. I would like to find someone for her because she thinks she is in love with me and is very weak. I am afraid she would do something horrible if I just left. Is there anything I can do?
  22. so, i have been seeing this girl for about a month now. been on about 6 dates. she's very hot and cold. very guarded and protective. we've only kissed. last night i brought her out to meet my friends. we all had a great time. at the end of the night she kisses me goodbye and asked if we hangout tomorrow (today). today we got coffee and i helped her pick out a digital camera. we have lunch and do some shopping. she would hold my arm when we're walking but when i try to hold her hand... she said she doesn't like to hold hands. when i dropped her off and walked her to the door, she stops me and says, "i like hanging out with you and have a great time but i'm not physically there yet..." i was very dissappointed but what can i say or do? i just told her that it's cool. we can still hangout if she like. she said great, i'll call you and we'll talk. should i continue to ask her to hangout or just let her go? dating is very frustrating... i thought we were going well...
  23. Ok, this whole thing is very new to me. I have never really had to ask for advice before, but I really don’t know what options I have left. I hope you all can really help me and my boyfriend. First I’ll start with a little background. We are both in our mid twenty’s and gay. We’ve been together for 9 months now and have problems having sex. When we first started going out we both agreed that we were taking the relationship slow. We were always making out, holding hands when we were out at the bars, and touchy feely. After the first month he started not liking being touched, then stopped the making out, then said that we shouldn’t hold hands in public because it looks like we’re insecure to other guys. After about 2 weeks of dating we had sex for the first time and it was really good. After that it was about a every week and a half to two week thing and continues like that to this day. Gradually we built up to once a week; give or take a couple days. We had a talk about 3 months into our relationship and he basically said that he didn’t like when I initiated sex, and that if he wants it he will let me know. Since that day we don’t make out unless we’re having sex, only give little pecks. I decided that I wouldn’t touch him or initiate anything and haven’t since. It also seems that we only have sex when we’ve been drinking or right after arguing. Over the past 9 months I know that I do love him and I know that he does love me, and that is the only reason that I am staying with him, is because I do love him. But the problem with sex has to change. I feel like I should be able to touch him, give tongue when kissing, or initiate sex when I feel like I want it. Here’s what I know about him. Before he met me he lived with an older guy for free that allowed him to live there for two years as long as he would do sexual things with him when the guy wanted. Of course he did that when him and his boyfriend lived there for a year without his ex knowing about it. That is when his sexual problems started. They eventually broke up over it and he continued to live there for over a year and a half with the same arrangement. When we talk about this issue he said that a lot of it has to do because he was not in control of sex; that he would have to do it when he was asked so he doesn’t like being touched or having sex initiated by me because of his “roommate”. He also mentioned a couple times that he is afraid that if I initiate sex and he doesn’t want to do it and tells me that, that I will get mad and he doesn’t want to deal with that. Apparently his old “roommate” would give him attitude and yell at him if he told him he wasn’t feeling like it. I do respect this and because I do love him am willing to work on the problem, but I don’t know where to start. I suggested that he see someone to talk about it, but that is something that he is refusing to do. He has said that when we do have sex that he enjoys it and I believe him cause of how he is when we have sex. He also has told me that he does masturbate when he gets horney. I look at it in two ways. Either in the future he will be better and we will have the honeymoon period that we never had, or I will get to the point that I cannot tolerate the issue and break up with him over it. What I am looking for are ideas to help him through this. What can I do to improve our sex life? What can I do to help him understand that I am not taking advantage of him? Do you think that there is any hope for improvements or is this a relationship a lost cause? Please help me!! Thanks in advance.
  24. I moved to London from US for my g/f... We've been together 2 years, 1 one of which we lived together in London (in her apartment)... About 1.5 weeks ago we broke-up - we had been fighting quite a bit for the past few months and it became too much. It was very hard on us, the break-up took about a week, with every day she asking me "are we making a mistake"... Finally at the end of the week she went to Spain to visit her sister and called from there and said that she loves/cares about me and wants to be my best friend, but her romantic feelings for me are gone, and wants me to move out. She said "take your time, to find a place which you are comfortable with, there is no rush for you to move out"... So now we are still living together, but broken-up, and I'm looking for a place... I insisted that I sleep on the couch but she wouldn't allow it... So we sleep in the same bed, and she sticks her feet under mine and holds my hand (initiated by her)... She also makes comments like "i bought a cup so WE can keep OUR tooth brushes", or "i'll bring a juicer from my parents place so WE can make fruit juices"... I don't get it, why is she making these comments if I'm looking for a place to move out???? Why does she insist I sleep with her, and hold my hand etc... AND still calls me "baby" rather than by my first name.... Though now she goes into the bathroom to change, won't change in front of me... Also, doesn't bring up the subject about me moving out - doesn't ask how the search is going etc... I have a feeling that she feels sorry for me... Maybe because I moved accross the pond for her, and I have no family, and few friends here so she knows I can't just leave.... Btw - when in the apartment together we act very nice to each other, we say jokes and laugh; we don't argue, we don't make any sad comments; we don't talk about the break-up; Either feels sorry, or maybe still likes me and doesn't want to end it (and doesn't want me to move out) and we are both sort of "pretending" that nothing happened and hope it all somehow goes away and we get back to "normal" ??? Of course, I'm probably saying stupid things... Any thoughts??
  25. People have told me that this transition is quite common, but they rarely tell you how a man can really set things into motion. There is a lovely lady who has been my friend for 4 years and we often go on movie dates but sometimes we'll do something different. She recently has an apartment and I haven't been there yet but I will try to find a way over there (offering her a ride home tomorrow!) because she has already been over at my place during a big birthday party I held for myself. This year, she has really, really blossomed and the old feelings of wanting her as an actual girlfriend have re-surfaced. Sunday is my go-for-broke day, and I have some ideas which have worked in the past with another girl I dated. Gently clasping her hand, kissing it once and then continue to hold her hand as we're walking around a park. However I am still stuck on what exactly to say to her that might lead to a make-out session. I've given her compliments here and there,(not too much) and I have touched her on the shoulders. Haven't held her hand yet but once I do maybe she'll get part of the message that I'm really interested in her. So when it's time..do you guys focus the conversation on relationships, sex, without directly mentioning "I want to take our friendship to a whole new level." Or, do you casually talk about everyday stuff while holding her hand, snuggling up to her, holding her close while talking in a park, putting her hands on her shoulders while waiting in line, gently wrapping your arm around her at the movies? Thanks for your advice..I want to express my feelings towards her..in the right way.
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