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  1. Dear eNotAlone: It started off innocently enough - she was a former flame of my husband's, and seemed to have some unresolved feelings around the end of their relationship. I thought that over time that she would get over it and move on. Instead, it's gotten progressively worse and more frustrating. Now she's constantly sending him messages and trying to invite herself over. My husband insists that they no longer have any relationship of any kind, yet her actions remain the same. She even asked if he could come repair something at her house, despite the fact that he has no skill at anything home-related! I don't want our marriage to be affected by this woman continually hanging around, doing things like sending him cards on his birthday and telling him how much better she is than me. I just want her to leave us alone and take her 'obsession' elsewhere. Aside from notifying her that my husband has a wife, what can we do to protect our marriage from her relentless pursuit? * * * A situation like this involving your husband's ex-girlfriend is certainly delicate, perplexing and unique. No one wants to fear the presence of another individual in a marriage, so the first order of business is to actively work to limit interactions between the two of them. This means insisting upon polite but firm boundaries being set. You may need to remind your husband that respecting you and your marriage is of top priority and should always remain at the forefront of his mind when dealing with his ex. Communication is vital in this process; speak openly and honestly with your husband about your concerns and make sure that he realizes that they are valid. Depending upon the situation and history between them, it may even be appropriate for your husband to speak directly to his ex, reiterating in no uncertain terms that the relationship is over and that ongoing communication, in any form, is unwelcome. As a couple, you might also consider consulting with an impartial third party as part of the resolution process. A therapist, life coach or clergyperson who can provide insight and understanding can be extremely beneficial in situations like this, helping manage the emotions involved and ensuring that both of your voices are heard. Don't feel bad for seeking outside help if needed; you are ultimately protecting yourself and your relationship. Your own emotional well-being should also not be neglected; this kind of stress can be exhausting. Consider self-care routines like yoga, meditation, journaling or taking time for yourself as ways to reduce tension. Talking to friends and loved ones can go a long way towards helping you cope as well. And above all, express your feelings freely and avoid bottling up your resentment or anger towards the situation. These kinds of human dynamics are never easy to grapple with. But if both parties remain open-minded and do their best to establish a sense of normalcy in the midst of the chaos, there is no reason why a solution cannot be found.
  2. If you're struggling to manage a difficult relationship with your ex, you're certainly not alone. Ending any long-term relationship can be emotionally draining and often, the thought of maintaining even a limited form of friendship afterwards is too overwhelming. So what can you do to ensure that you're able to successfully move forward in your lives, without placing further strain on either yourself or your former partner? The very first step you must take in this process is to assess your feelings and determine why exactly you are having trouble with this particular situation. Are you angry, resentful, hurt, or simply terrified? Identifying your emotions will help you to establish a more realistic path forward. For example, if you are angry, then the best course of action might be to consciously attempt to let those feelings go and forgive your ex, allowing you to move on. On the other hand, if you're hurt or scared, then putting limits in place might be the best way forward. As you begin to understand your own mind and motivation, it can be helpful to also assess your former partner's mindset as well. Do they want to maintain a connection? Or does this entire affair cause them heartache too? Knowing how the other person feels and perhaps even acknowledging that, can go a long way towards creating a more focused attitude and forming a concrete plan of action. When tackling a relationship problem, communication is key. If you and your former partner value each others' company and would like to keep in touch, then by all means make the ongoing effort to do so, provided that both parties are comfortable with the level of communication. It might also be beneficial to schedule regular catch-up sessions, even if only once every few weeks or months - this will help to ensure that a line of dialogue is being kept open between the two of you. Another very important factor is to think about boundaries. When establishing limits with your former partner, it is important to be firm and direct. Explain what is acceptable behavior and what is not, and be clear about your expectations. This will help to avoid any potential misunderstandings and awkward situations down the road. No matter what your ultimate decision might be - to maintain the friendship or to move on - work hard to stay mindful and respectful of one another. Remember that regardless of the circumstances, your former partner was once an important part of your life - and knowing this will enable you to treat them with kindness. Whether you decide to remain friends or cut off communication completely, it is crucial that you take the necessary steps to prioritize your own mental health. Unhealthily stewing in anger or obsessing over contact with your former partner is extremely damaging, so instead make sure that you take some time out for yourself and focus on healthy ways to foster acceptance. It is perfectly natural to feel overwhelmed and confused when dealing with an ex-partner. But as long as you are committed to understanding your own emotions, assessing the other person's stance, engaging in healthy communication, and respecting yourself and your former partner, it is possible to come out of the experience with a newfound sense of closure and peace of mind.
  3. My ex and I just broke up a few days ago, and I'm not quite sure what to do. How can I win her back? When it comes to winning an ex-girlfriend back, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Each person needs to approach the situation differently, depending on the circumstances of their breakup. Although it may seem inconceivable right now, there are ways to increase the chances of getting back together with your ex. After all, if two people have shared so much of their lives together, then they should have some common ground to reunite on. The first step in winning back your ex-girlfriend is to understand why the breakup happened in the first place. Did an argument spiral out of control? Maybe there were unresolved issues that had been bubbling for months, and one final event fueled the fire until everything exploded. Or it could be something as simple as growing apart or lack of communication. Once you know the true cause of the relationship's demise, you can start working on fixing your mistakes. The best way to approach an ex-girlfriend after a breakup is to remain open and honest about your feelings. Turn the focus away from yourself, and acknowledge her perspective and experiences instead. Let her know that while you were the primary cause of the breakup, you respect and appreciate her side of the story. Acknowledge that you made mistakes, but also want to work on a resolution. Show her that you're capable of recognizing and rectifying your wrongs. Once both parties are aware of each other's reasons for the breakup and willing to communicate, it's time to consider a plan of action for getting back together. No one plan will work for everyone, as every relationship is unique. However, there are ways to make the process easier. Taking some time to reconnect and focusing on building trust again should be the basis of any plan. This can be done through activities like talking, going on dates, and developing a strong emotional connection--all of which will show your ex-girlfriend that you still care and want to make things work. If the underlying issues that caused the breakup have been worked out, then it's possible to rekindle the romance. Depending on the kind of relationship you were in, some loved ones might such as mutual friends, family members, and relatives could be helpful. They could provide neutral supports, guidance, and healing. A supportive network can make all the difference in rebuilding trust and strengthening the bond between you and your ex-girlfriend. It's important to remember to be patient and kind throughout this process. Reconciliation takes time, and it won't happen overnight. It's also important to stay focused on the big picture and keep focused on the positive. all of this hard work could result in a beautiful reunion and the possibility of love being restored.
  4. Vicissitude is a trying element of partnerships. Even years after the end of a relationship, the effects are sometimes pervasive and bring strife or sadness. When difficulties arise with called partners, it can be hard to navigate and process complex emotions. While it’s no one’s fault, the confusion, hurt or frustration felt by this situation can be exhausting. Here is some advice on how to handle the experience of dealing with an ex-girlfriend while communing with compassion. When difficulties with an ex-girlfriend arise, it’s important to take care of yourself first. Setting limits and boundaries is an integral part of moving forward. Doing what makes you feel safe and secure, such as maintaining contact at a level that is comfortable for you, can prevent any anxiety stemming from doubts about where the relationship stands. Establishing firm, but considerate lines of communication is pivotal in managing the situation, so agree upon how and when to touch base. In this vein, effective communication skills should always be exercised. Refrain from persistent attempts to contact someone if they deny or resist pursuing further engagement. Talk, explain, and listen without blame or aggression. Even if it's difficult to reach an agreement, being clear and practicing trust will help provide a foundation for understanding. Try and remain open-minded if things don't go exactly as planned and exercise patience when attempting to connect. In the event of a misunderstanding or miscommunication, remain calm and apologize for missteps if necessary. It’s okay to have complicated feelings during times of stress, which include the desire for reconciliation and the strength to move on. Ambivalent emotions are valid, even if it is confusing. Recognizing these internal conflicts can help notice patterns within the relationship and make more informed decisions. Refusing to linger in pain, guilt, or bitterness is helpful in managing expectations of the ex-girlfriend while giving yourself closure. It’s hard to let go of people and tough situations, so lean on supportive friends, family or professionals to find solace in the grieving process. Knowing you’re not alone in your struggle will aid your path to the next chapter. Find hope and understanding with the understanding that experiencing different kinds of joy and success await you further down the line. A breakup is difficult to cope with and establishing life after that event can test one’s courage and resilience. Take steps to making sure you’re emotionally and mentally prepared to handle the weaknesses of partnering. Reassess your behaviors and reevaluate what standards and values are meaningful in curating a healthy future relationship. Exploring and connecting with everything a new relationship has to offer will help in processing the trauma of the old. In the wild ride of partnership, seeking perspective and self-healing are recovery’s mainstays. No matter the difficulties and pains associated with a heartache, there is solace in the comfort of understanding. With effective communication and self-compassion, emerging from a sticky situation with an ex-girlfriend can be done by allowing yourself to heal and grow.
  5. Dealing with the knowledge that your husband is still in contact with his ex is rarely easy for a wife. No matter the existing relationship between the husband and his ex-girlfriend, it is a sensitive and complicated situation. While it is often difficult to move beyond the feelings of betrayal, mistrust, and insecurity that linger, setting appropriate boundaries and rebuilding trust in the marriage can be accomplished with thoughtful communication and patience. It’s natural to experience strong, negative emotions if you find out your husband has maintained a relationship with an ex-girlfriend, and it’s important to acknowledge and forgive yourself for those feelings. Jealousy and insecurity are valid responses to this circumstance due to the pain of being reminded of broken trust. However, it is essential to be mindful of the importance of setting appropriate boundaries and not letting emotion dictate your actions. The first step is communicating clearly and openly with your spouse. Express your concern in a calm and concise manner, with an emphasis on expressing your feelings instead of blaming or accusing. This is not a time to lash out in anger or passive aggression. Open dialogue will allow you to discussion and come to a mutual decision on what the boundaries should be and the protocol for further contact. For example, if your husband has been sending inappropriate messages or gifts, then it may be best to end all communications to maintain the stability and security in your relationship. Being honest and open will help to build trust as long as it is done without judgement. If there was an issue violated by the spouse, working together to rebuild trust may be a tough but necessary process. Depending on the situation and sentiments at hand, both members of the couple will have different expectations. Is it more important to restore trust, or is it better to just let go of the incident and move on? If communication lags or arguments occur often, consider seeking professional counseling to help provide guidance and clarity. A therapist can objectively offer helpful advice as both parties work through the issues and find a path forward. It is possible to overcome the feelings of distrust and uneasiness when dealing with a husband’s contact with an ex-girlfriend. Setting clear boundaries and working together to rebuild trust will require patience and perseverance. Additionally, seeking the help of a trusted therapist may help bridge communication gaps and provide clarity to the situation. Even though the task at hand may be daunting and tense, couples can use this experience as an opportunity to deepen the trust within the marriage.
  6. I've just written a poem for my ex girlfriend. It's about her and how i miss all the things about her. For some reason i am totaly stuck for a title. Do any of you have any suggestions for a poem about missing your girlfriend?? I was going to go with a simple one like this-Missing You/Her. Btw iv'e never written poetry before except maybe when i was at primary school.
  7. Hi all. I have a big problem I need to work on. Any advice or thoughts you have on the subject will be greatly appreciated. I am extremely jealous of my boyfriend's past relationships. He has lots of experience - you name it, he's done it, with as many people as possible. Also, he had an "arrangement" with an ex-girlfriend, after they had already broken up, where they would get together for sex whenever they could. By the way, given how clingy this girl was and how badly she took it when they broke up, this shows very bad judgement on his part I think. No matter how horny you are, it is not a good idea to keep having sex with someone who is still in love with you. It doesn't seem fair to the girl, it probably confused her alot. But back to my problem. I can't stop thinking about his past. I react emotionally as though he cheated on me even though he clearly did nothing wrong to me. For example, I keep thinking now, in retrospect, about when we first met. We got together - I think we both suspected this may lead to something romantic - but nothing was clearly stated. Nothing romantic, we didn't even kiss. A day after meeting with me like this, he went and slept with this ex girlfriend. I KNOW he had no obligation to me at that time. So why do I always remember it and let it bother me? Similarly, I find myself judging him harshly for sleeping around so much. I believe there is nothing morally wrong with that, as long as you don't lie to anyone, and sexual experimentation can be a wonderful thing. So why am I so terribly jealous?? It must be me, my own insecurities. And THAT is what I need help with. I have no idea how to become more secure, and stop thinking about my boyfriend's past. He never lied or cheated, not to me, not to anyone as far as I know. All the poor guy ever did was sow his wild oats... Please help! Thanks
  8. i have posted here a few times about my ex gf, she cheated on me with another guy. i guess what pissed me off the most is, that she never told me she liked the other guy, I had to find out about it from my best friend cuz she didn't have the guts to tell me herself.
  9. my husband of only 9 months has a 2 1/2 year old son with a psycho woman. She will not leave us alone. She lies, and is manipulative. She uses the child as a pawn. She harasses my husband at work, me at home, our parents, our siblings. We have called the police on her on many occasions. I dont know what i can do or what to say. My husband wont take legal action for whateverreason. please help me! I am at my wits end end!!!!!
  10. I'm a 21 Black guy whose been in many relationships with all types of women, white, black, latino, asian, etc. But since the college I go to is mainly white I'm mostly interested in White women. The problem is that I get a lot of negative attention from other people for dating a white woman, and most of the time this effects my relationships. I don't get this kind of attention when I date women from other races. Most of the times it's angry stares from guys and whispers from girls. But once I was holding hands with my ex gf(whose white) on a bench and we were talking when a guy whose a part of the crowd passing by shouts "Quit fu****g N*****s". Incidents like that are the main reason why I haven't had much success dating white women. I feel like I have to constantly defend our relationship and deal with crap like that. Not to mention the worst attitude comes from black women. They act like I'm betraying all Black people by dating a white woman and that White girl is taking away a Black man from a sister. The way I see it, I wouldn't be theirs anyways so why do they care? I feel like I should just give up totally on the idea of dating white women, because society is just not ready for that sort of thing. But at the same time I feel like I should be able to live my life the way I want and not be forced to choose who I date/marry based on what other people think. What do you guys think? Has anyone else here had difficulties in interracial relationships?
  11. So here is the situation in a nutshell, I am unable to get over my exgirlfriend. I think about her all the time and it has been a year since we broke up. We went out together for two years and eight months. I can't come to terms with why we broke up because I am pissed off about it. And I don't understand why this crap has to be this way. I hurt every day. It is a prison of my own making, and I don't know how to get out of it. I just spent about an hour going through the internet searching for her name so that I could see if she is doing okay. I don't know where to start getting over this. I can't seem to shake it. I think I do and then I haven't. And when I am really lonely, I wish we were back together. I do stupid crap like sleep next to a stack of pillows thinking it was her. Remembering how it felt to hold her. Stuff like that. I don't know what I am going to do, but it hurts not being around her. How do I move on and let her go? And how to I face this reality that I am not willing to see?
  12. Its my ex gf's bday in a couple of days. I've maintained NC for almost a month, will be a month on her bday. I do want to reconcile with her but I know NC is the best thing for me right now to heal and move on. Should I text her happy bday or should I leave it? We broke up in beginning of Jan after 6 years together because she felt like she wasn't in love with me anymore as a boyfriend. She was pushing for us to be friends and meet as friends about a month ago until I told her it was too soon. She then said she understands and that to call her whenever I like. Will me not acknowledging anything on her bday ruin any future chances (if there is any) of us reconciling?
  13. according to the LOA there is no such thing as coincidence...that universe always tries to tell or show us something almost exactly 1 year ago i gave my ex framed monochromatic photo of my face (late valentine's gift)...it was size about 10 by 12 inches ....i dont think he really like it...he joked that it was biiiigggg...it was actually the beginning of the end of our relationship anyway and there is my favorite song now...im listening to it for a couple weeks already...many many times (even few times in a row) i saw video first time last night ....in this video this guy is looking at the wall size monochromatic photo of his ex gf's face (exactly the same face shot as mine)..and he sings: " i tried to call but pride wouldnt let me dial"... i treat this stuff with eye-blink but it was a weird feeling seeing the video anyway wouldnt you have mixed feelings?
  14. Tonight is one full year that my ex-girlfriend became my ex-girlfriend, and was no longer my partner. She left with her lover and didn't come home. I've tried all day to associate the pain of that day with this day, but I can't shake the feeling of peace, just peace.
  15. This past week on Valentine's day a horrific shooting happened. A young man killed his ex-girlfriend and then killed himself. I knew this young man..he was actually my friend at one point but we lost contact over the past year. He NEVER seemed aggressive at all or angry in any way. He had such a calm personality on the OUTSIDE. I had been grieving his death and taking it pretty hard. Today I found out that he had been abusive and threatening to kill her over the past year...something I just could not believe but now I am forced to. Please, Please, if you are in a situation like this one seek help immediately - even if people don't believe you about how he really is. Don't deny the reality. It is not worth something tragic like this happening...
  16. Hi It's been just over a month since my ex-girlfriend Becky dumped me and I think I'm going out of my mind. All I do is think about her - 24/7. It's relentless. I literally cannot get her out of my thoughts and it's driving me insane. All I can think about is how it could have been different and what I could have done to change things. I know I will never get her back as I've definitely burnt my bridges there so I just want to move on, but I can't. I really don't know what to do. I can't sleep at night, I've gone off my food and I'm drinking really heavily. I can't live like this. I want to get her out of my head - to just forget her, but I can't. We only went out for 4 months and to her I don't think it was anything much at all. She didn't love me, but I idolised her. I think it was just a bit of fun to her, but to me it was everything. I've been in 2 long term relationships in the past - both over 2 years, but I never felt love for those girls like I felt for Becky. I'm 31 and she's 26 so there was a bit of an age gap. I'm wanting to settle down with someone now, but I don't think she was ready for it - or if she was then she certainly didn't want to settle down with me. When she finished with me I cried and went out and got drunk on my own (big mistake, I know). When I got home I sat at my computer and wrote a huge 'f@ck you' email to her in which I called her a user and told her she'd been cruel and that I was angry and upset with her for treating me like that. I bitterly regret sending it now as I came accross as a complete idiot. She replied back politely and explained that she just didn't feel the same way about me as I felt about her. I can totally understand that and I feel such a fool now. That is not the worst part of it though. About a week later I thought I was starting to get over her and I was thinking about her less and less. I'd been out drinking heavily with my friends in town and I saw her in a pub. I waved at her and smiled, but she blanked me and just walked off with her friends. I was angry and upset and I when I got home I logged onto a phone sex internet chat room and I put her number into it for people to phone her on. God knows what I was thinking about and I can't forgive myself for it. I just wanted to get back at her for dumping me and I feel so stupid now. Why did I do that? Why? I feel like a pervert - like a stalker - like those people you read about in the newspapers who obsess over a woman. She must hate me now as she's probably worked out how her number got on that sex chat room. And since that day I've basically not stopped thinking about her. Can I just say that I've never done anything like this before. I'm normally very rational and very chilled out. I have lots of friends and I've lived a pretty normal life. Now I feel like a complete freak and I'm starting to hate myself for how I've behaved. I want to put the whole messy business behind me and move on, but I really can't see a way out at the minute. I just obsess over her non stop. I think I need to get some help from someone, but who do I see? Do I need anti-depressants? Do I need to see a psychiatrist? It's getting worse and worse as each day passes and I feel sick. It's effecting my work and home life and I don't know what to do. About 2 weeks ago I met someone else. This new girl is probably much more suited to me then Becky ever was, but I still can't get over her. I think I've jumped into this new relationship much too quickly and the torrent of emotions I'm feeling right now can't be good for me. Should I tell this new girl (Jess) that I'm not over my last girlfriend and just end it? I probably should as I can't give Jess my full attention right now. She's a lovely girl too and we have so much in common - I just can't stop thinking about Becky that's all. I'm in a real mess right now and it's all my fault. Thanks for reading and any advice would be much appreciated. michael
  17. ..I have deleted every picture and every email of my ex girlfriend but I still look at her myspace page..I try not to..but then every few days or so I end up doing it..and lately she has been on my mind a lot..I think about how much she hurt me, how much she stabbed me in my heart. and then I miss her? I am not sure if I miss her. I just feel like crying it is just weird..I want to forget about her and move forward but it is really hard. she was my first love and she disrespected me in the later stages of the relationship and was tempted to date other guys while I was with her. I dont know why I cant use this as a reason to move forward. It's like I am curious as to what she is doing or something. I want to move on but sometimes I tend to dwell on the past and how she destroyed me emotionally. I hope someone can please help me I am at a weak point right now...
  18. My boyfriend was in a four year relationship with a woman before we started dating. At the moment, she calls and e-mails him multiple times a day, asking him to come back to her. She also sends pictures of herself in lingerie to him (I know this because she sent them to me too). None of this bothers me. I know being in a four year relationship and having someone end it with you has to be difficult. I am not ok with the fact that she asked him for money and he has no problem giving it to her. If she needed money to help pay for her surgery, the rent, help out her family, that would be perfectly fine. But to use it to buy herself clothes (he knew this) just doesn't sound right to me. I brought it up to him and he said that he felt obligated for how much pain he put her through by breaking up with her. This leaves me a bit confused, as he told me he left her because he was unhappy for a while and he finally realized he needed to do something for himself. Breaking up with her, at the time, was what he needed. I told him that this bothered me and he said he wouldn't give her any money. I believe him, but I am now questioning whether or not he's, 1) truly over her, 2) with me because he wanted someone and I was easy to get, and 3) actually in love with me as he states. Am I worrying about nothing? Perhaps I'm just being dumb, but I know hearing replies from people will make me feel better. Thanks for any help.
  19. Hey Guys! New Member My buddies Ex girlfriend wants to hook up with me and I am very interested because she is a great girl, But Im not sure how to tell my buddy or how he will react. Our friendship is not all that important to me but I still do not want to hurt him. Keep in mind they have been split for a year and a half. Thanks
  20. Yea, its been almost a year now since I haven't seen her and I have not talked to her at all since and whats even worse is that I ended on bad terms with her. To make a long story short, me and her hit it off really strong but than a little over a month later she called it off, she took me back out of pity than dumped me again and dated someone else in about week and its that same guy she is engaged with now. How I ended on bad terms with her? For no reason her best friend was being a total ***** to me so I of course laid her out, meaning I verbally insulted her and she got offended pretty bad. My ex of course got involved and it was kind of a mess and she said she was sick of me and started saying things like " Kill yourself it would do better of all of us" and some cold crap like that, I Insulted back and never spoke to her again and now its been about a year. I never meant for things to end up like this and I wish I can get in contact with her again but Im afraid because she might still hate me now and doesn't want to hear from me again. but I do miss her in a way because at one point me and her made each other really really happy and I know in my heart she will never forget those days we had together.. Do you think she still thinks about me from time to time? and is getting in contact a good idea?? Anyway, she is going to be getting married soon so yea.
  21. I came on the net as I am feeling so ashamed of myself. I need to make some sense of what I have done and stop it from happening again. I have nobody I can talk to about this. I have been reading the other posts and replys I will just tell you what happened. My ex-girlfriend (as of last night) and I haven't been dating long but it has been a very intense few months emotionally. Last night we had been arguing around the same topics that have been an issue from the beginning. Which are very basically me feeling like insecure and jealous of her many close relashionships with guys. As well as her natural flirtaous nature with everyone. Part of me knows that I have nothing to worry about but she has admitted to keping a number of "on the go" while we were going out. That is not to say she was doing anything physical with them (i hope) but just keeping them interested. It does not help that her close friends are male and ethier ex boyfriends or guys who have tried to intiate relashionships with her and have settled for being friends. I know that sounds a bit like crazy talk but it is factual. These feelings have really been eating away at me inside. Making me very upset as well as very angry. I haven't felt like this before though I have had several long term relashionships where I have been in love. We were in love, my ex-girlfriend and I. I didn't like the way that I had been feeling about all this so I had tried to break it off a couple of times. She has convinced me to come back each time. Anyway I dont know if you care about all that other stuff but I guess I felt I had to get it out there. I am not making excuses I am just explaining where the rage came from. We were arguing last night and she laughed in my face and it all welled up in me and I slapped her. I couldnt believe I did it. I didnt even think and then it was over , all over. I hate myself for what I have become. I have never hit a woman. I never wanted to be that guy. But I guess I am now. My ex-girlfriend obviously instantly dumped me. I know she still oves me and I love her but she has to end it because she is worried I will do it again. I have nothing to say that can bring her back, because I cant argue that what I have done is anything but wrong. Is this me for the rest of my life? I am going to try and get some help as I don't want for this to happen ever again. I am not really a person that would hav considered therapy for anything but I guess that is the only option in this case. I feel like I cant function at all. I cant bear to think about going to work or even eating right now. I am normally I very happy person who loves their life. What should I do? What help do I need? Is there any reason why my girlfriend should take me back? Is there any way anybody would ever want me again? I know I dont deserve and wont get any sympathy here or any where else. But I cant see how to continue with my life right now. I dont want to hate myself forever and I am not a suicideal person. I cant even think straight right now and I am not sure if this even makes any sense. Please if anyone can help.
  22. so heres the story: My boyfriend and I have been dating for one year, we're extremely strong and love each other very much. One thing: he's remained friends with his ex girlfriend (who also has a new boyfriend) and well she owes him money for a trip they went on a few years back, and she's been paying him back in little increments. But she still owes him around $200. My boyfriend is a pretty loyal person, and he told her he doesnt want the cash anymore. Instead they both suggested he take pilates lessons from her (she teaches it) for free in order for her to re-pay him. He told me this and I flipped out. He said he contemplated it because he knew it would bother me. I gave him an alternative and suggested I do them with him, and he agreed. I'm still bothered by it, why would he even think to contemplate it? He knows Ive always been insecure about them remaining friends, but I've grown to accept it. He loves me, but it all still bothers me... I cant believe I agreed to do this with him. What should I do? Stick out the few lessons?
  23. Hey everyone Im new to this whole dating thing. It seems in my past relationships i have skipped this whole dating part and have jumped right into the relationship phase and thats how things progressed. Since my devasting breakup about 2 months ago i have since been ready to start dating again. I started talking to this guy i knew from a few years ago and we talked for about two weeks and then decided to go on a date. I had asked him about his previous relationships because im very paranoid about ex gf since my ex bf cheated on me with his ex gf. Long story but it left be very scared and untrustworthy of the opposite sex. SO when i asked him abotu his ex gf he said she had moved a few provences over and he was really into her but thats why it ended. I was still a little concerned so i started looking a little deeper. I then came accross his myspace account and noticed that very recently his ex gf had left him comments say "love you babe, have fun at work" and "i love you and misss you." I asked about these comments and he says he doesn't love her anymore but she still loves him. I then looked deeper and this girl left comments some of her other friends pages saying that he was going to try and get a job closer to her and move to the provence shes in. SO at this point i dont know whats going on. We have only had two dates so far and i dont know when the best time is to bring this all up again. I dont want to seem to "girly." should i jsut forget about this guy, or is it me that has the problem with not trusting him??
  24. My boyfriend...nearly my fiance'...has an ex girlfriend that he states is now his friend...and he believes that he should be able to go share the outdoor hobbies they enjoy...as well as dinner occasionally..without me being worried. Firstly, I have never met whatshername...and I do not know who left who or who ended the relationship really. And if I need to be secure and non-jealous...I should be given the same rights too...I should be able to go out to dinner and coffee with former men I have dated as friends. Somehow I do not think he will consider it the same for me. How do I approach this without starting (another) heated debate? I have talked to his mother about this...she says he is waaaay too insecure to handle me doing what he wants to do....but I figure if I am to trust him, he needs to do the same. I just don't feel comfortable with him nor I hanging about with people we have formerly slept with.
  25. I was talking tonight to the guy I have been dating for the last few months. We have never been physical, so there is no question as to whether or not I have gotten it from him. He told me tonight that a large part of the reason he has been keeping me at bay (both physically and emotionally) is because he has a sexually transmitted infection that is incurable (given to him by his unfaithful ex gf). He mentioned the name of it but I can't remember it.. It's not something I had heard of before.. anyways, he said it's a recurring fungal infection that causes bumps. Does anyone know anything about what this could be? I've never heard of a fungal infection causing bumps or sores.. If you know what it may be, how do you prevent it from spreading, etc.. ?? I love coming to these boards very much, you all have been a great help to me recently and I ask for that help once again. Thanks ahead of time to anyone who responds with any information!
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