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  1. And what really makes me angry is that she knew my dad was in the hospital five days ago and she couldn’t friggin call me ??????? Five friggin days ago you knew this Marilyn and you thought you would tell me Friday right before my holiday . You’re a . Feel like calling her right now because she’s going on holidays today and telling her what her nice fabulous brother did. Do you want to know that your other brother is a rapist and a child molester I hope you have a good holiday .
  2. Key Takeaways: Match gifts with her unique interests Personalize gifts for a special touch Budget-friendly doesn't mean less thoughtful Experiences create unforgettable memories Well-being gifts show you care Understanding Her Interests: A Key to Perfect Gift Selection Choosing the perfect Christmas gift for your girlfriend starts with understanding her interests and passions. This is not just about what she needs, but about what makes her heart sing. Is she an avid reader, a fitness enthusiast, or an art lover? Observing her daily activities, listening to her talk about her hobbies, and recalling past conversations can give you valuable insights into her world. Don't hesitate to explore beyond the surface. If she loves music, consider the specific genres or artists she enjoys. Is she more into classical symphonies or the latest pop hits? Similarly, if she's into fitness, think about whether she prefers yoga, running, or perhaps a new sport she's been eager to try. The key is to tailor your gift to align with these specific interests. Social media can also be a helpful tool. A quick glance at her Instagram or Pinterest might reveal her current obsessions or wish list items. Pay attention to what she 'likes' or 'pins' – these are often direct signals of her desires. It's not just about the item itself, but about the thought you put into understanding what she loves. Remember, the best gifts are those that show you've been paying attention. They're the ones that say, "I know you, I hear you, and I appreciate the things that bring you joy." It's about recognizing her uniqueness and celebrating it. When a gift resonates with her personal interests, it becomes more than just a present; it becomes a testament to your relationship and the care you have for her. It's also important to consider the stage of your relationship. If it's a new relationship, you might want to opt for something less intimate and more fun. For a long-term relationship, something more personal and thoughtful would be appropriate. The duration and depth of your relationship can guide you in the intensity of the personalization of the gift. Lastly, don't forget the element of surprise. Even if you're certain about her interests, adding a unique twist or an unexpected element can make the gift even more special. It could be a rare edition of her favorite book or a special version of a product she's been eyeing. A little creativity can go a long way in making her Christmas unforgettable. The Art of Personalization: Making Gifts Unique Personalization is a powerful way to transform any gift into something uniquely special. It's about adding a personal touch that directly connects the gift to your girlfriend's identity, experiences, or your relationship. Personalized gifts show that you've put thought and effort into making the present just for her. There are countless ways to personalize gifts. It could be as simple as engraving her name or initials on a piece of jewelry, a diary, or a pen. Or, it could be more elaborate, like customizing a piece of artwork, a photo book of memories you've shared, or even a song or poem written just for her. The objective is to make her feel that the gift was created with her in mind. Consider the message you want to convey through the gift. Do you want to remind her of a special moment you shared? Or perhaps you want to celebrate her personal achievements or milestones. Personalization can also be about capturing a feeling or a message that you want to communicate, like love, appreciation, or admiration. Technology has made personalization easier than ever. There are numerous online services that allow you to customize a wide range of products. From creating a custom perfume or a bespoke piece of clothing to designing a unique piece of art, the options are nearly endless. Take advantage of these tools to create something truly one-of-a-kind. Finally, remember that the best personalizations are those that resonate with her personality and your relationship. It's not just about putting a name on an item, but about infusing the gift with a sense of shared experiences, affection, and understanding. A personalized gift, no matter how small or grand, holds the power to touch her heart and strengthen the bond you share. Budget-Friendly Ideas: Thoughtful Yet Affordable Presents Finding the perfect Christmas gift for your girlfriend doesn't have to strain your wallet. With a bit of creativity and thoughtfulness, you can present her with something meaningful without spending a fortune. The key is to focus on the sentiment behind the gift rather than its price tag. One of the most cost-effective yet personal gifts you can give is something handmade. Whether it's a knitted scarf, a custom painting, or a handcrafted piece of jewelry, the effort and time you put into creating something by hand can be far more valuable than something bought off the shelf. These gifts carry a personal touch that can't be replicated by a store-bought item. Another great idea is to curate a personalized gift basket. Fill it with a collection of smaller items you know she'll love. This could include her favorite snacks, a good book, a scented candle, or a cute mug. The beauty of this idea lies in the customization – each item in the basket reflects her tastes and interests. Consider gifting an experience. A day trip to a nearby town, a picnic in the park, or a home-cooked dinner can be more memorable than a physical gift. These experiences create special memories and offer quality time together, something that's invaluable in any relationship. Thrifting and vintage shopping are other excellent ways to find unique gifts at a lower cost. Vintage jewelry, retro decor pieces, or a classic vinyl record can make for a thoughtful and distinctive present. These items often come with their own stories and character, adding an extra layer of meaning to your gift. Lastly, remember that the most important aspect of any gift is the thought behind it. A heartfelt letter, a photo album of your best moments together, or a custom playlist can convey your feelings without costing much. It's the love and consideration you put into the gift that truly counts. Experiential Gifts: Creating Lasting Memories Experiential gifts are a wonderful way to deepen your connection and create lasting memories with your girlfriend. Rather than a traditional tangible gift, an experience can provide enjoyment, excitement, and the opportunity to spend quality time together. The beauty of experiential gifts lies in their ability to foster shared experiences and stories that you can both cherish for years to come. Consider planning a surprise day out or a weekend getaway. It could be a visit to a place she's always wanted to go or an activity she's been longing to try. Whether it's a scenic hike, a wine-tasting tour, or a concert by her favorite artist, the key is to choose something that aligns with her interests and passions. Workshops and classes offer another excellent avenue for experiential gifting. Cooking classes, pottery workshops, or dance lessons can be both fun and educational. These activities not only provide a great bonding experience but also allow her to explore new skills or hobbies. Subscription services can also be a great experiential gift. Whether it's a monthly book club, a streaming service for her favorite shows, or a subscription box tailored to her interests, these gifts keep on giving long after the holidays have passed. They offer continuous excitement and anticipation for what's coming next. Fashion and Accessories: Stylish Gift Choices When it comes to girlfriend Christmas gifts, fashion and accessories can be a hit. These gifts are not just about style; they're about understanding her personal taste and adding to her sense of self-expression. Whether it's a statement piece or something more understated, the right choice can show how well you know her. Handbags are a classic choice. From elegant clutches for evening outings to practical tote bags for everyday use, there's a wide range to choose from. Consider her lifestyle when selecting a handbag. Does she need something for work, casual outings, or special occasions? The functionality combined with style will make it a thoughtful gift. Scarves and shawls also make for versatile gifts. They can add a pop of color to an outfit or provide warmth during the colder months. Look for unique patterns, high-quality materials, and colors that she often wears. A scarf isn't just a piece of fabric; it's a fashion statement that can elevate her entire look. Jewelry is another area where you can hardly go wrong. Whether it's a pair of elegant earrings, a sleek bracelet, or a beautiful necklace, jewelry can be both personal and meaningful. Consider her metal preferences (gold, silver, rose gold) and her style (minimalist, bohemian, classic). Personalized jewelry, such as a piece with her birthstone or initials, can add an extra special touch. For the fashion-forward girlfriend, consider trendier items like stylish sunglasses or a chic belt. These accessories can be both functional and fashionable, making them a great addition to her wardrobe. Remember to keep her style preferences in mind – does she prefer bold, statement pieces or something more subtle and classic? Footwear is another area where you can explore. A pair of stylish boots, comfortable sneakers, or elegant heels can be a great addition to her collection. Pay attention to her current style and preferences, as well as the size and comfort. Shoes can be tricky to get right, but when you do, they're a gift she'll treasure and use regularly. Finally, don't forget the presentation. Packaging these fashion gifts in a beautiful box with a thoughtful note can make the unwrapping experience just as special as the gift itself. The way you present the gift can reflect the care and thought you've put into choosing it. Tech Gadgets for the Modern Girlfriend Tech gadgets are an excellent choice for the modern girlfriend who loves staying up-to-date with the latest technology. In a world where digital convenience and innovation are prized, a tech gift can be both practical and exciting. From wearable tech to smart home devices, the options are vast. Wearable technology like smartwatches or fitness trackers are not just functional; they're also a style statement. Choose a model that complements her lifestyle, whether it's geared towards fitness, health monitoring, or just staying connected. Many of these gadgets come in various designs and colors, so you can pick one that suits her style. For the music lover, consider high-quality headphones or wireless earbuds. These gadgets can enhance her music listening experience, whether she's at home, commuting, or working out. Look for features like noise cancellation, long battery life, and comfort, especially if she's likely to use them for extended periods. Smart home devices can also make great gifts. Items like a smart speaker, a digital assistant, or smart lighting can add convenience and fun to her daily routine. These gadgets can help her control various aspects of her home with just her voice, making her life easier and more efficient. DIY Gifts: Adding a Personal Touch DIY gifts are a beautiful way to show your girlfriend how much you care. These handmade presents carry a personal touch that can't be bought, showcasing your time, effort, and creativity. Whether you're a seasoned craftsman or a beginner, the thoughtfulness behind a DIY gift is what makes it special. One popular DIY gift idea is creating a custom photo album or scrapbook. Fill it with memories of your time together, including photos, ticket stubs, and little notes. This is more than just a gift; it's a keepsake of your shared experiences, something she can look back on and cherish. Handmade jewelry is another thoughtful option. With basic materials and a little bit of practice, you can create a unique piece of jewelry that reflects her style. It could be a necklace with her favorite stone, a bracelet with charms that have special meaning, or a pair of custom earrings. If you're skilled in the kitchen, consider baking her favorite treats. A batch of homemade cookies, a cake, or even a full meal prepared by you can be a delightful surprise. You can add a personal touch by decorating the baked goods or presenting them in a special way. Artistic boyfriends might opt to create a piece of art for her. It could be a painting, a drawing, or a craft project. The subject could be something meaningful to both of you, like a place you visited together or a shared favorite thing. Handcrafted bath and body products are also a great idea. Homemade soaps, bath bombs, or lotions can be customized with her favorite scents and ingredients. These gifts offer a personal spa experience, made even more special because it was created by you. Lastly, consider creating a customized playlist or a video montage. Compile songs that are meaningful to your relationship, or put together a video with clips and photos of your time together. This digital DIY gift can be a modern twist on the traditional mixtape, offering a heartfelt expression of your feelings. Health and Wellness Gifts: Caring for Her Well-being Health and wellness gifts are a thoughtful way to show your girlfriend that you care about her well-being. These gifts can encourage relaxation, self-care, and a healthy lifestyle, all of which are important in today's fast-paced world. From fitness gear to relaxation aids, there's a wide range of options. Consider wellness-related items like a yoga mat, fitness bands, or a subscription to a meditation app. These gifts can support her in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and provide her with tools to relax and destress. If she's into fitness, a piece of equipment or a gym membership can be a practical and appreciated gift. Aromatherapy products like essential oil diffusers or scented candles can create a calming environment in her home. Choose scents that she loves or that are known for their relaxing properties, like lavender or eucalyptus. These gifts can help her unwind after a long day. For the skincare enthusiast, consider a set of natural skincare products. Look for items that align with her skin type and preferences. You could even create a personalized spa kit, complete with face masks, lotions, and bath salts for a DIY pampering experience. Lastly, a wellness retreat or a spa day can be a fantastic gift. It's an opportunity for her to take a break from the daily grind and focus on self-care. Whether it's a massage, a facial, or a full-day spa package, it's a luxurious way to show her that her well-being matters to you. Home Décor: Beautifying Her Space Home décor gifts are a fantastic way to contribute to the ambiance of your girlfriend's living space. These gifts are not just items; they're additions to her personal sanctuary, reflecting her taste and aesthetic. Whether she prefers minimalism, boho-chic, or a more eclectic style, there's a myriad of options to suit her preferences. Artwork can be a deeply personal gift that enhances her living space. Consider her taste in art - does she prefer abstract, modern, or classic pieces? A beautiful painting, an elegant sculpture, or a unique wall hanging can add character and style to her home. Functional yet stylish items like designer cushions, elegant vases, or sophisticated lamps can also be great choices. These items not only serve a purpose but also add a touch of elegance and comfort to her home. Look for pieces that complement her existing décor and reflect her personal style. For something a little different, think about a plant. A potted plant, whether it's a low-maintenance succulent or a vibrant indoor flower, can bring life and energy to her space. Plus, it's a gift that grows over time, much like your relationship. Subscription Services: Gifts That Keep on Giving Subscription services are the gifts that keep on giving, offering your girlfriend a delightful surprise every month. From book clubs to beauty boxes, there's a subscription service out there to match every interest. These gifts provide continuous enjoyment and show your ongoing thoughtfulness. For the bookworm, a book subscription service can be a perfect gift. She'll receive a new book or a selection of books regularly, tailored to her literary preferences. It's a gift that not only feeds her passion for reading but also introduces her to new authors and genres. Beauty and wellness subscription boxes are also a hit. These can include a range of products from skincare items to makeup and health supplements. It's a great way to let her try new products and indulge in self-care regularly. Gourmet food and wine subscriptions are ideal for the foodie girlfriend. Whether it's artisanal cheeses, exotic coffee, or fine wines, these subscriptions offer a taste of different cuisines and cultures. They're not just gifts; they're culinary adventures delivered to her door. For the fashionista, consider a clothing subscription service. These services often provide a personal stylist who selects clothing based on her style and preferences, offering a unique and personalized shopping experience each month. Lastly, if she loves learning new things, consider a subscription to an online course platform or a hobby-related service. Whether it's cooking, photography, or crafting, these subscriptions can help her explore her interests and develop new skills. Books and Literature: For the Book-Loving Girlfriend For the girlfriend who cherishes literature, books can be the most thoughtful gift. A carefully selected book shows that you understand her interests and want to contribute to her love for reading. Whether she's into classic literature, contemporary novels, or non-fiction, the right book can be a gateway to new worlds and ideas. Consider her favorite genres and authors. If she has a favorite author, look for their latest publication or a special edition of one of their works. Alternatively, introduce her to a new author or genre that aligns with her interests. This can show your investment in her hobbies and your desire to broaden her reading horizons. A collection of books can also be a wonderful gift. This could be a series she's been wanting to read or a set of works by a renowned author. Book collections not only provide a great reading experience but also make for an elegant addition to her bookshelf. Limited edition or signed copies of books add a unique and valuable element to your gift. These editions often come with beautiful covers and are something she can treasure and display proudly. For a more interactive experience, consider pairing the book with a related activity. For instance, if you gift her a novel set in Italy, couple it with an Italian cooking class or a wine tasting experience. This adds an extra layer of thoughtfulness to your gift. Finally, don't overlook the power of a heartfelt note inscribed inside the book. This personal touch can transform the book into a cherished keepsake, reminding her of your relationship every time she opens it. Jewelry: Timeless and Romantic Gift Ideas Jewelry is a classic and enduring gift choice that can express your feelings in a way few other gifts can. Whether it's a necklace, bracelet, earrings, or a ring, the right piece of jewelry can be a timeless reminder of your love and affection. Consider her style and preferences when choosing jewelry. Does she prefer gold, silver, or rose gold? Is her taste more minimalist or does she enjoy statement pieces? Understanding these preferences is key to selecting a piece she'll love and wear often. Personalized jewelry adds a special touch to your gift. Engraving her name, initials, or a significant date onto a piece can make it uniquely hers. Birthstone jewelry is another great option, offering a personal and colorful addition to her collection. Designer or branded jewelry can be a luxurious treat. If your budget allows, a piece from her favorite designer or a well-known brand can make for an unforgettable gift. These pieces often come with a legacy of quality and style, making them more than just accessories. Lastly, consider the presentation. A beautiful jewelry box or an elegant wrapping can enhance the gifting experience. The way you present the jewelry can reflect the thought and care you've put into choosing it, making the moment of unwrapping as special as the gift itself. Culinary Gifts: For the Foodie Girlfriend For the girlfriend who delights in culinary adventures, gifts that cater to her foodie interests can be incredibly thoughtful. These gifts not only cater to her taste buds but also encourage her culinary creativity. Whether she's an experienced cook or enjoys exploring new flavors, there's a wide array of options to choose from. A high-quality kitchen gadget can be a game-changer for her culinary experiments. Consider items like a state-of-the-art blender, a gourmet knife set, or a fancy coffee machine. These tools can make cooking and food preparation more enjoyable and efficient. Cookbooks from renowned chefs or culinary experts can also be an excellent gift. Look for books that align with her cooking style or introduce her to new cuisines. A beautifully illustrated cookbook can serve as both a source of inspiration and a decorative item for her kitchen. Consider gourmet food baskets filled with exotic ingredients, artisanal cheeses, or luxury chocolates. These baskets can be a journey of taste, offering her the chance to explore new flavors and culinary ideas. Personalize the basket with items you know she loves or has been wanting to try. For a more interactive experience, gift her a cooking class or a food tasting tour. Whether it's a pasta-making class, a wine-tasting session, or a guided tour of local eateries, these experiences can be both educational and enjoyable, offering new skills and delightful tastes. Travel-Related Gifts: For the Adventurous Spirit For the girlfriend with a love for travel and adventure, travel-related gifts can be both practical and inspiring. These gifts feed her wanderlust and make her travel experiences more comfortable and enjoyable. From travel gear to experience-based gifts, there are numerous ways to support her exploratory spirit. Durable and stylish luggage can be a much-appreciated gift, especially if she's in need of an upgrade. Look for high-quality, lightweight options that are easy to maneuver. Smart luggage with features like built-in chargers and GPS trackers can add an extra level of convenience and security to her travels. Travel accessories like a versatile travel pillow, a high-quality camera, or a portable charger can be both thoughtful and useful. These items address the practicalities of travel, ensuring she has a comfortable and hassle-free experience. Consider gifting a travel journal where she can document her journeys. A well-crafted journal can be a place for her to record memories, stick tickets and photos, and reflect on her experiences. It's a gift that becomes more valuable with time as it fills with her travel stories. Lastly, if you want to go the extra mile, surprise her with a trip or a getaway. This could be a weekend escape to a cozy bed and breakfast, a road trip to a nearby scenic spot, or even plane tickets to a destination she's been longing to visit. The promise of a new adventure can be the most exciting gift of all. FAQs: Answering Common Questions About Choosing the Right Gift Choosing the perfect Christmas gift for your girlfriend can be a daunting task. To help you navigate through this, here are some frequently asked questions and answers that might assist you in finding the right gift for her. Q: How do I find a gift that matches her interests? A: Pay attention to her hobbies, likes, and dislikes. Listen to her when she talks about her interests, and observe the things she enjoys doing in her free time. Social media can also be a helpful tool to understand her preferences. Q: Is it better to give a practical gift or something sentimental? A: It depends on her personality and your relationship with her. Some people appreciate practical gifts that they can use daily, while others might prefer something more sentimental that reflects your bond or shared memories. Q: How much should I spend on a Christmas gift for my girlfriend? A: There's no set amount to spend on a gift. It should be something you can afford without straining your finances. Remember, it's the thought and effort behind the gift that counts, not the price tag. Q: Can DIY gifts be as good as store-bought gifts? A: Absolutely. DIY gifts often carry more personal value because of the time and effort you put into making them. They can be unique and tailored specifically to her tastes and preferences. Q: Are experience gifts better than physical gifts? A: Experience gifts, like a trip or a cooking class, can create memorable moments and are a great way to spend quality time together. However, the best choice between an experience or a physical gift depends on her interests and your shared experiences. Q: How can I ensure the gift is a surprise? A: To keep the gift a surprise, consider her routine and preferences without asking direct questions that might give away the surprise. You can also enlist the help of her friends or family for ideas and to maintain the element of surprise.
  3. When it comes to having to pick between important dates that conflict, it can be a difficult position to be in – and often, we have to make impossible choices. I was recently faced with having to decide whether or not I should take my much-anticipated beach holiday versus attending my sister’s wedding. After much deliberation, the choice for me was clear – the holiday won out. To those who find my decision selfish, I say this: I booked my holiday first – and there was never any expectation I had to choose one or the other. My family is close – as close as they come. We were all raised with the same values; to be kind and generous and to always show up for each other when needed. Over the years, I have done my bit. Everything from standing in as the de facto father figure when our own was absent, to being the peacekeeper of the family through the tough times and even throughout more mundane tasks such as running errands, picking up groceries and so on. In regard to the recent news of my little sister’s impending nuptials, I was equally as thrilled as the rest of them. I shared in her joy, her elation and her anticipation for it all to occur. That is, until I realized it would directly cut into my pre-planned vacation. It was a no-brainer. My vacation was my one this year and for months I had been planning for it. This wasn’t just any holiday; this was to be a special getaway where I could really switch off, indulge in some well deserved self-care, treat myself and unplug from the stress of work for a few weeks. Even before my sister had announced her wedding, I had already booked flights, accommodation, and activities. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I refused to let it slip through my fingers. That’s why I pushed back against being guilted into dropping it all because of my sister's wedding. It was never fair to expect me to do that. Sure, my family was still shocked and aghast at my lack of commitment to the wedding, but that didn’t faze me. I accepted their disappointment and went ahead with my plans. My parents and siblings didn't understand why I was seemingly so selfish, all I had worked for disappeared in their eyes the moment I made it known that I would spend the happiest day for my little sister on a beach instead. But it seemed like no amount of reasoning would convince them. At the end of the day, I didn’t care. I have done what I deemed best for me and I stand by that. Yes, it may have been hard for me to indicate that I wasn't available for my sister's wedding, but it was an action that was necessary to my well-being. In the future, I hope that everyone will have a better understanding of what really matters – which, in my opinion, is that life is to be enjoyed; goof times are best enjoyed as they come and if it’s something you feel is best for yourself in a particular moment, don’t let it slip away.
  4. I'm not expecting to make any friends in this forum. Both me and my friend's wife know what we are doing is really really wrong. I've changed the names and places to protect people and avoid anyone we know in real life discovering what is going on. I'm a guy and met my friend’s wife (Chloe) about 20 years ago as teenagers. When we met we were teenagers, despite us both being single and us having a close and slightly flirtatious friendship from the off we have always remained platonic until a few weeks ago. We have remained close friends throughout the last 20 years. Around 15 years ago Chloe met who is now her husband, Jamie and I was introduced to Jamie through Chloe. Jamie has over time become my best friend and just as much part of my life as Chloe. Chloe and Jamie got married in 2017 and I was best man. I have never felt any jealously for their relationship, me and Chloe simply never had that sort of relationship before they got together. I’ve always had a reputation as being a bit of a player and have had many short term relationships/flings with many people who both Jamie and Chloe introduced me to over the years. However in the last 10 years I have been in a relationship with the same person, Gemma. Me and Gemma had children very quickly after meeting but our relationship has been very cold and loveless for many years, despite many attempts to rekindle what we had (which was never much in the first place). Chloe and Jamie on the surface have a much more loving relationship, but Chloe has always confided with me (especially in the last year or so) that often Jamie is cold towards her and has a low sex drive. We’re now both in out mid thirties. Chloe had planned to go on holiday with her female friend to Egypt, but for whatever reason her friend cancelled a few weeks before the holiday and due to childcare Jamie was unable to take her place. Chloe approached me and asked if I wanted to take her friend’s place. The holiday was cheap, I was happy to go, Jamie and Gemma were both happy for us to go together as they obviously completed trusted us alone together. We had managed 20 years with nothing happening so it seemed reasonable that nothing would happen, even to me. Many of my friends and colleagues thought it was strange that we went on holiday together and poked jokes that we were really having an affair. During the holiday me and Chloe became closer and closer, we laughed, flirted, cuddled. About two days into the holiday Chloe told me that she did fancy me and had the situation been different with our other relationships she could see herself with me, not Jamie. It was like something clicked. I’d never thought of Chloe like that. Yes I find her attractive to look at but I had a sudden rush of feelings for her that felt so strong. That night, despite us not really having any alcohol we cuddled naked, intimately kissed and touched in bed. And this continued every night, eventually it became sexual towards the end of the holiday. For the whole holiday we acted like a loving couple who were very much in the honeymoon period. We even referred to each other as gf / bf. It was like being a teenager again, the excitement and lust we felt for each other was amazing. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It was perfect in our little bubble thousands of miles away from home. A perfect holiday romance with the added twist of us having a completely different life at home. The thing that is hard here is that, we didn’t just get drunk and have sex; we absolutely fell in love and now have really strong feelings for each other. There was no need for it to take any time for all this to happen because of the length of our friendship already, it was just uncovered (discovered) in a matter of days. Now we’re home and of course it’s now a lot more complicated. Chloe says that she is in love with both me and Jamie. I had said that the last thing I want to happen is for her and Jamie to break up, but our feelings for each other are still there and seem stronger than any guilt we have for what we’re doing. Me and Chloe have tried to see each other as much as we can since we got home. I miss her so much within a few days of not having one-on-one time with her. Chloe has said that she wants there to still be an ‘us’ when we can be sure we are alone and no one can catch up (ie – out of town together) and keeps discussing how we could arrange a trip for just me and her. Chloe says she is so torn between her feelings for me and the guilt. (Obviously the feelings are winning at the moment) I feel guilt, towards Jamie. I’m numb to any guilt for Gemma as she has shown me absolutely no affection for years. But my feelings for Chloe are completely over-riding the guilt I have. I’m terrified Chloe ends this as she can just go back to Jamie and I’m left with nothing, I only love one women, Chloe. I keep saying to myself it needs to stop and Chloe also says this on the phone but when we see each other our feelings just take over and we end up kissing passionately and more. We both seem to be able to act really normal around everyone else and as far as I know no one suspects anything, although it is probably obvious to both Jamie and Gemma that we seem to be spending a lot more time together than we did before the holiday. I’ve convinced myself that it’s plausible that we could just be closer, even as platonic friends. Neither Jamie or Gemma have said anything to suggest they suspect anything. I’m scared that we can’t stop and we get caught and that would be a nightmare for everyone. I don’t want to end this with Chloe, I love her more than Gemma and I’m scared how much this will hurt my mental health. My heart wants to find a way to carry this on indefinitely, even if, like Chloe suggests, it’s just the occasional thing. Neither of us planned this, we genuinely fell in love. Yes, maybe in hindsight it was predictable and we shouldn’t have spent a week together on holiday together. I don’t want Chloe to be with me instead of Jamie, they are both everything to me and I need them as friends, probably more so if this got out and Gemma threw me out. Jamie thinks I’m a player at heart and I believe that if he found out, he’d probably ultimately forgive Chloe, believing that she’d somehow fallen for my ‘game’ and place a lot more of the blame on me. In reality, Chloe was completely different from anyone else I’ve been with, she broke me, I love her and this was an entirely 50/50 relationship and no one had any premeditated intention of this happening. Anyone been in a similar position and how did it turn out?
  5. I thought I would give a go at this journaling thing. My friends do not partake in online dating and I don't really get feedback from anyone that does. Mostly my friends shake their heads and ask `why?' I've been out of a relationship since May '14 and without rehashing all that has transpired I will say that online dating has changed considerably in the past 3 years. I've taken several breaks, mostly after meeting men looking for casual sex and men who are too afraid to put themselves out there and seem to put me in the drivers seat to pursue them and breath life into the situation. Neither of which I am comfortable with. I am a young (as so I am told) 50 something yr old professional with a rich social life, so I am definitely not lonely. If I sense there is no momentum in a man that I meet I am quick to let it go seeing that I don't have a lot of free time and being with my friends is often a much better option. After my last fail .. well I can't really call it a failed attempt, maybe a valuable lesson with dating someone I mentioned here in previous posts, that I had dated earlier this year and he made a return visit in Oct. He is clearly not ready for a relationship but I am very taken by him and we have amazing chemistry. With that being said he is dating others and at some point these things run their course and I opted out, not wanting to be part of the `rotation' and finding myself engaging in an intimate relationship with someone I did not have a commitment with. Mind you this is the first time in my life I tried to do this and much like I already knew I am not cut out for it. He still texts once in a while and says he misses me, but it messes with my emotions so the more distance I get the better. I wish things were different . . but it is what it is. To keep my sanity during that time I continued to date others (not intimately) and the pace was wearing on me and creating all sorts of unneeded anxiety. During the holidays I pulled my profile but continued to communicate with one person who's schedule is opposite of mine for the time being so meeting was a challenge. During my time off during the holidays we met for breakfast and as much as I really didn't want to go, I was pleasantly surprised. Now 3 dates later my current challenge is to see if this man can open up and let me in. Apparently I make him very nervous and at times he shuts down. I tried dating someone like him sometime ago and I thought in time he might let me in. After several weeks I realized it was never going to happen. What I do like about my new friend is that he has some old school values much like mine, maybe a little more conservative. He noticed I pulled my profile (only for a break) and pulled his as well saying he typically only dates on person at a time to see where it goes. It's nice to not have to interpret someone's intentions and refreshing to know I am not part of someone rotation. We haven't so much as held hands yet which builds up that anticipation part that seems to be so fun and he's a good `dater'. I have met so many men who don't know how to date. .funny as that sounds, but true. I am enjoying this. He is showing me that he does have sense of humor and enjoys giving me a hard time (playfully) I am optimistic that there is someone that I am able to connect with behind the shyness. He has assured me that he is typically not this way and has promised to open up. I still have another friend I will see tonight. T and I have been dating for about 3 months now and as much as I like and I am attracted to him I just don't think we are relationship material. He's gone most weekends to see his son 8 hours away. He's so sweet and endearing but not very active, pretty much a couch kinda guy, very Christian and not much of a social drinker. (my social circle is!) He has a very naïve almost immature quality to him but I feel safe and cared for with him. I often wish I could see him as someone more than a friend but that certain quality is lacking. I don't see him often and have opted out a couple times lately, but I am looking forward to catching up tonight. So this it. . at least for now. I see my shy friend this weekend. M has invited me for a day trip to the local mountains and I am looking forward to it. For now my profile is down . .tomorrow who knows!?
  6. The holiday I paid for and you said you'd pay me back, can I have that back The birthday you never bought a gift for, said it was setback Can I have that back The Valentines night, when I had to pay for my own dinner can I have that back, or were you again the winner Since we met, September 2005, I can begin to deduct how much you made me pay for, while you lived it up Those years, all two and half of feeling like a doormat Can I please have them all back
  7. Dedicated to the girl I got back in touch with 10 years after first meeting her on holiday, I can't believe I found her again. We hadn't been in contact since and she still remembered me. I'm going there next year to see her again. 10 YEARS ON 10 years on and I still remember, Just two children playing in the park, For a beautiful fortnight in November, We would laugh and chat until the sky became dark. 10 years on and I still recall, Your smiling face when we first met, Dancing in the street and dashing through the mall, Moments like that I will never forget. 10 years on and still ever fresh in my mind, A chapter of my youth so beautiful and true, Sometimes I wish I could press rewind, And relive those great times with you. 10 years on and I can't help but reminisce, About a period etched in the beauty of innocence, Engulfed by the infinite joys of pure bliss, Approaching what lay before us with steadfast confidence. 10 years on and how I still ponder, That morning we gazed deep into the winter skies, Hand in hand we chuckled as we wandered, Unaware of the time that was passing before our eyes. 10 years on and why does it still seem like yesterday, As I vividly recall an afternoon by the water’s edge, Feeding the ducks and watching the birds at play, At last retreating to the familiarity of our farmyard’s hedge. 10 years on and it’s ever vivid despite days gone by, The day we I was forced to bid you farewell, How the tears rolled down my cheeks after we said goodbye, Yet still I was happy at the story I could some day tell. 10 years on and I still remember your name, A little older and wiser both of us now may be, But united we are once more, our story has begun again, A childhood journey shared solely between you and me.
  8. Does anyone believe in people being sensitive to ghosts? I have had a few strange experiences in the middle of the night where I've see 'someone', and I know I definitely wasn't dreaming! Also, when I was a little boy (about 4) my uncle died but they told me he'd gone on holiday. But every so often I would say I could hear music and then I used to see him (usually stood behind my mum pulling faces at her!) I don't really remember but that's what they tell me used to happen! It really used to freak them out! And there have been a few times that I've been going to do stuff like leave my younger sister in the house on her own whilst I went to the shop but as I was about to go I'd hear 'NO' shouted in my ear! It always seems to happen in the same room as well (unfortunately my bedroom!) What do people think? Sound at all familiar to anyone, or you just think I'm crazy!?
  9. Hey guys, Am I the only one who doesn't celebrate national pot smoking day? Also, right now I feel discouraged because recently I met a lot of people but I find out tonight that a lot of them are celebrating this holiday. I'm not going to judge them because of it or anything but it just discourages me you know? I personally don't ever plan to do drugs. Should I stop hanging out with these people? Not all of them do it but I would say a good 2/3 or so do it.
  10. Damn these holiday seasons! Just spent the first christmas without my partner since 1999 when I was 16. It's been 3 months since the breakup (her decision), and have since found out she hooked up with and slept with an old lost friend (4 times). Took her 2 months to sleep with me. Took him a week. Sitting around with my extended family today, I felt sooo lonely without her there. I feel empty without her love. I miss being the centre of her life. I miss being important to someone. I just feel like I'm an extra in everyone elses lives now... I don't feel important to anyone anymore, and it feels horribly lonely. I can go out, and socialise with mates, pick up girls everynow and then, but it's just not the same. I'll probably never had what I had with her again.... How depressing
  11. I sent her a valentines day card, it was pretty funny I must say ( as I am humorous and awesome) . She sent me back the following. hey long time no see hey! thanks for the valentines card, just checked my emeails then, i ve been away at kangaroo island all last week. only one i got apart from a chain text, it made me feel special heheheheh. what are u up to this yr? ive got a house - back to finish my 3rd yr of uni hopefully other than that not much happening just got back from 2 months in - BIIIGGG holiday! was awesome. better go now its LUNCH TIME and i am starving!!! keep in touch. i deleted a bunch of things like locations and names. Should i invite her for cofee ??? CONSIDERING - I have asked her out before.
  12. im gonna start by saying, sorry this is very long... please read it though, i would greatly appreciate any help you can give me.. ^_^ thanx in advance... ok, i have a few questions about this girl i like. were both the same age and go to the same college. shes in 1 of my classes and have only been in college for just over a term now. i first talked to her at the sort of test week back at the start of the summer holidays. where you go to the college for a week to get an impression of it. then when she was in my class after the holidays i was like"hey, its u" and she did mention that i was the only person she remembered from the test week thing. i sat on a table facing the front of the class and she sat on 1 facing the side wall, tables are all kinda weirdly set up. i didnt sit with her cos i saw some1 from my old school first, and only noticed her when i looked round the others in the room, she was only sat about 1/2 a meter away so it was easy to talk to her, and she was facing me, well, the table was. about half the way through the term our table was removed so i sat at the other end of the room, so we sort of stopped talking, i left the room at the same tiem, or tried to, so that i could walk out of college with her and talk to her more, this has no stopped as its alot harder 2 leave at the same time, and ive got more friendly with the dude i sit with so it would be rude to walk off wile hes talkin to me. 2 weeks ago, i thought id watch her leave the room as the dude was talking to me, and as she was walking out the door she looked back at me so i just smiled. the next week i hardly talked to her at all, as i didnt get much of a chance, the odd "hi" as she came out of college as she passed was about it. she came on msn that night and i sort of said sorry for hardly talking to her that week, and got the reply "oh, didnt really notice". this week i talked to her a bit more, she knew some1 who i was talking to outside of college and came over, so i managed to talk to her for a wile then, but she went off somewhere about 10 mins later. the bit that confuses me is that she doesnt really attempt to talk to me outside of the lesson, but i catch her glancing my way during the lessons sometimes, hardly ever make direct eye contact, but everytime i turn my head in her direction [can see her out the corner of my eye when looking at the board] her head quickly turns back to the front of the class. i look away quickly if she catches me looking at her aswell though. i keep comenting on things that she has mentioned in the past, like how certain things are goin that she was worried about, and stuff to do with work and her job. we are currently just aquaintances, and she doe not make alot of effort to get to know me more, she seems alot more talkative and relaxed around her friends that she hangs around with so im a little confused about that. she seems slighty shy around me. would like to get to know her more and get her to be more relaxed around me, which is the main problem i think. i like her, alot, and would be insanely thrilled if i found out she liked me aswell, but i would be happy just being her friend, more than an aquaintance. sorry for making this post crazily long and probobly boring, but when i just type whatever im currently thinking ^_^ any help you could give would be greatly appreciated here.
  13. To the tune of Gloomy Sunday Billie Holiday's version (warning: video may be highly depressing to some) Someday is our day The other side will bring it all Here, swathed in loneliness I'll wait for my curtain call Decades before me Will crawl like eternities Dreaming of your kiss To wake with you gone from me But rage has no place And tears avail me nothing Though chains hold me earthbound The moon is my promise ring Honey, someday Our day is someday I only wish that I knew when Colors will return to me And symphonies will start again I must abide now By the pledge that you made me give While you sing with the angels I swear to you, I will live Thanks unto you I'm denied my gloomy Sunday All for the best, I know For there is but one way Honey, someday Waiting Nothing more than waiting It's only a matter of time Time carries me onward... Though we must part I'm still so glad I found you For on that day of glory These arms, they will surround you Honey... someday.
  14. I don't mean to be big headed but i'm a good looking guy. I'm 22, over 6' in height, athletic build and a decent face. On the other hand i'm a virgin, have little confidence, terrified of confrontation and prone to bouts of depression thanks to my total lack of a social life (something i'm trying to remedy). I'm a wimp basically. I hide it as best i can and most people probably see me as a 'nice guy'. I've never said a bad word to anyone in my entire life. So do looks really count for anything when confidence is low? There are so many guys out there doing fun and interesting things like going on holidays, going to parties, playing musical instruments etc. What chance does the boring guy have?
  15. Hi there, My mother, a wonderful person, was disowned about 10 years ago for no real reason from her father, my grandfather. He has disowned all of us, my beautiful nephews included. What is hard for my mother is that her only sibling, my aunt, still has a relationship with him and in the past has gotten in between my mother and her father. She is rather a manipluative aunt, who I personally am not fond of. Anyway, this is the only relative my mother has alive besides her sister (and of course kids grandkids). She has tried over the years to contact her father and he refuses her calls, Christmas gifts, everything. We have no idea why he is like this - he was always rather grumpy - but for some reason will not speak to my mother or any of her children. We have done nothing to this man! This of course has caused her a lot of grief. This holiday has been hard for her for some reason (she just turned 60 and her father is not getting any younger). What I think is particularly hard is that there is no explaination or incident. Very strange. We have all tried to find out why, even asked my aunt, my mother's sister, and have gotten just a lame answer that my grandfather just does not like us. It is horrible and confusing. I was wondering if anyone had some similar stories to share or resources I could point my mother to. I realize that she needs some help with this and, since her father may die one of these days soon, she needs to find some peace with this before his death. Are there books out there on this stuff? Support groups? Any resouces or tips would help. Thanks and happy holidays!
  16. I have been trying to get hold of my ex-bf for about a week now. I left a pleasant message asking him if he would call me please. I left him a message asking him if he'd like to buy some of my musical equipment. I'm really broke now and I really can use the cash. He broke up with me during the Christmas holidays and hasn't called me or return any phone messages I made to him once since then! Last week I called him and left him a message. To my amazement, he called me back after about 45 minutes! Why.. i have no clue, because, as I said before, I've called him several times since we met up last and he never once returned a call since Christmas. I was so shocked I didn't even answer. I was at my friend's house to hang out and relax and I didn't want to speak to my ex-bf in front of my friend, if he was going to be hateful to me, and then ruin my evening with my friend. So.. I didn't answer the phone, he didn't leave any message, but he did call me back again in another 20 minutes. Like I said, I probably would of answered it if I had been home, but I didn't want to have a conversation with him, have him be all mean and nasty to me on the phone, and have me end up in tears at my friend's house. He has been hateful in the past to me on the phone, and like I say, it's been like 2 months, so it's not like we are on the best of terms. In fact, he never even bothered to break up with me, he just stopped calling me altogether or answering my calls! My self-esteem is still trying to recover from that episode, believe me! He acted really weird the last time we were together during the night (but, that's another story in itself). Anyway, when he called me last night. .I really didn't know what to say to him. I asked him about buying my musical gear, cuz he said he needed a new amp, and I have one I wanted to get rid of, but he said he didn't need it after all. He really didn't sound too excited to hear from me, and although I was so excited to finally be talking to him again, it was really awkward and neither one us seemed to know what to say to each other. On one hand, I could go off on him, screaming and complaining about the shabby behavior I got from him in the end. I figure if i do that, he'll just hang up. However he didn't ever say, "Look, I'm sorry i didn't call you back or nothing." My birthday falls in the Christmas holiday and his shabby treatment to me really ruined my birthday and the whole holiday I was depressed and all alone. During the call, I heard another beep on his line and he said he had a call coming in... I hung on the line since I didn't know if he was going to get back to me or not since it was 2 months since he called, who's to say he'd even call me back?? I stayed on line for a few minutes and was eventually disconnected. I figured, oh, well, it's just him, being inconsiderate again. However, I get this phone message from him, saying sorry, he had to cut me off, that he had to take an important family call. His voice sounded really friendly and polite too in the phone message! Okay, no problem, that sounds like his old polite self. I must say that he was really really considerate to me when we first started hanging out. I didn't call him back because i figured, all he was doing was trying to sound polite. He said he wasn't interested in the musical stuff, and it didn't say on his message he was going to call back, nor to call him back. Awhile later, I check my phone again and see another message and it turns out to be from him! It says that if I'm really needing money, he knows of some way I can make it. He doesn't say what.....so that sounds a bit sketchy.. Like just what does he have in mind? I sure hope it's legal, cuz if it's not.. i'm not going there! lol Anyway, like I say I'm flat broke, so I call him back, saying, "Hey, i got your message and I'm home so if you wanna give a call back, I'm up for awhile at least." That was 9:30 pm and he never called back. I don't know what to do now.. I'm surprised as hell, he'd call me up in the first place after all this time. I'm also surprised he'd call me back after we got cut off, cuz he's been so rude to me in the past. Then he calls again, telling me of some "way to make money". I gotta admit I'm curious, and if he knows of a good job, I'll go check it out. I'm just wondering how to approach this. One part of me would sort of like to be friends, and then, of course, one part of me wants to get back together with him again. Then there's another part of me that is just too scared and gun-shy at this point with this particular guy cuz I'm figuring he'll just keep pulling his inconsiderate crap and I just cannot stand anymore of that emotional upheaval. And there's a part of me that would just like to tell him off. What should I do? I'm having trouble making ends meet, I've applied to all kinds of jobs with no success. Should I just swallow my pride and try call him back? I did call him this weekend and left some messages. He never responded to them. It seems he's not that good either at checking his message, or he just doesn't want to get back to me. I have to wonder why he even called me in the first place honestly... since he's been like non-existence for the past 2 months. And then to call me back twice!?!!? What do you think is up with this?
  17. Hi, I've been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months. We're both at university, and about 200 miles apart. Due to a very fortunate lecture schedule I've been able to visit him most weekends in term. I do this because we can't see each other at all in the holidays because our homes are in different countries about 650 miles apart, which is a bit less manageable! Recently he's been forced to get a job at weekends. He still wants me to go and visit him, but I don't think we'll be able to spend any real time with each other as he'll be working both days. It's also very expensive for me to visit him at weekends, and if the only time I'm spending with him is when we're asleep it seems like a lot more money... Does this seem like a situation where a relationship would work? I'd really like it to, but I don't know if its plausible if there isn't really any time that we can spend together. Thank you for your help!
  18. One of these days I was feeling down...I was at the coffee shop, waiting for my younger son to finish his swim class and I was thinking about my ex...you know how is it, don't need to tell you... I picked up my cell phone and started to look at some of her pictures which I took on our holidays but that made feel even worse. Trying to distract myself from these thoughts, I moved to the text menu, and wrote a msg like this: "You are the most beautifull person in the whole world. Please, never forget that!". I never sent it, I saved it instead. Nowadays, everytime I need to go to places that reminds me of her, or when I feel down, I pick up my phone, open the msg folder and read this little text to myself. Obviously, this text is talking about me....
  19. Hi, I'll try to make this as breif as possible....it's about my girlfriend. Upto a couple months ago, I was a single 19 year with not a care in the world....I enjoyed being single and chasing girls.... Anyways, back in October, I met a girl on link removed and we started texting each other after a bit. She's 16 and a virgin....so straight away, she was a big no no in my book as I was looking for fun and no strings attached. Anyways, we kept texting and texting and in November we finally met....On returning from meeting her for the first time I remember saying "I don't want to go out with her....phew!" however, we continued to text for some reason....and I kept texting her back....why? I thought in the future she could potentially be a girlfriend maybe but I wasn't sure. We met one more time after that....then she kissed me, obviously I kissed back but it was nothing....Whilst texting I kept telling her I didn't want a girlfriend right now my job was very hetic and I didn't have time to bring a 16 yr old into the world of sex....(that's how I saw it at the time). In this time I had already slept with another girl as I was enjoying being single. The week before Christmas she was going on holiday and I met once more the night b4 she went, we didn't kiss I don't think, I can't remember! Anyways we texted each other quite a bit whilst she was away on holiday, I remember telling her "I've completely fallen for you" once that week in a message, when she was away....anyways,the night she got back from holiday I went out into my local town and got very drunk and ended up sleeping with another random girl....my mind was still in "single mode" as I was technically single, me and my girlfriend hadn't made anything official and we had only met a handful ammount of times. That was on the 23rd that I slept with that other girl....it was absolutly nothing....If I could turn back time, I would of not done it but I was very drunk and single....anyways....On the 27th of that month I had a moment of clarity and decided I wanted a girlfriend, I'd had enough of being a player. I told her how I felt and that I wanted to be with her....she wanted to be with me too so we started being a couple....so I went round her house for the first time. Now, when I first started going out with her, she was unaware of the amount of girls I had slept with, and that I'd been with 2 girls whilst I've known her....one 5 days before going out with her officially. I told her on the 5th of Jan everything I've said here....that I'd been with 17 girls and that I'd had sex with someone whilst she was on holiday 5 days before we started being boyfriend and girlfriend.... she was upset at first but she wasn't botherd as we weren't a couple. Since we started dating on the 27th of December we've been seeing each other near enough everyday and we've declared our love for each other. Im so happy that I'm with her and would never ever cheat on her.... My problem is.... I feel guilty.If I felt for her then as I do now, I would of never gone with that girl just before Christmas. However it's been eating away at me since the other week when it got brought up again....I mean, it had been at the back of my mind since I started being her boyfriend, but now it's really bugging me. I mean, I've had the greatest couple of months ever with her, its seemd like a big holiday, but there's been an undertone of guilt that's been eating away at me. I mentioned it to her the other day (she's been skiing on holiday for a week) and she said "don't be silly, the past is the past, if I'm ok with it, you should, I'm really happy, I've never been this happy, I mean it" She's still a virgin, and I'd be willing to wait for aslong as she wants but I still can't get over this massive guilt.... It's hard because I feel so strongly for her now, I've not had a serious relationship before and neither has she. I wish I had fell in love with her at first sight as I wouldn't of gone with that other girl whilst drunk, I feel like I've tainted the "perfect girl" and the "perfect relationship" I even tried talking myself out of being her boyfriend as my guilt is so strong....and then realised I don't think I could go with any1 else anymore....she means that much to me....it's like a circle of guilt I can't get out of!! Maybe I'll get over it over time, I hope I do....because she means the world to me....it's just hard to think that I'd done that to her even though my feelings for her weren't as they are now. I really need your help, its been a really hard week with her away....i miss her
  20. I have been seeing someone on and off for the past year. I have never seen where he lives nor ever met his roommate, who is a woman. He always says...when you see my place, etc. and swears they are just friends. Today I called him and his roommate had recorded a new message saying I had reached the Jones (fictitous name). I was shocked and called back a second time to reconfirm but I didn't hear it wrong. It's another holiday so of course I won't see him today and he failed to tell me last night he had today off. In one year we've spent three holidays together, but he's cut out early on each one. He's refused to let me see his driver's license and I've never understood as I know where he lives, how old he is, and when I've called him at home there's never been an issue with his roommate passing the phone to him. I've believed him all this time. I cannot understand why I got that message this a.m., as neither one of them has that last name. Am I jumping to conclusions (about his being married?) Is there any other way to look at this? I already went to see my therapist this a.m. and told my therapist I needed to back away from this relationship, but I sure wasn't expecting that message this a.m. I am just numb and I wish I'd stay that way but I know I will not. I dread it when the numbness wears off and I plan to send him a letter tomorrow to end thingss and have no intention of ever answering the phone again (unless he leaves me a message he wants to come over and get his things). He has an explosive temper so a letter is the best way to go, I think. Any thoughts are welcome.
  21. I know I saw something about this elsewhere, but can't find the thread. Husband can't be weaned off computer games, or at least he seems to be losing his capacity to judge what's reasonable behaviour and keep to it. He used to play a lot of XBox but I was generally okay with that because I got chance to read/do other things, and I was also able to communicate with him when he played; he was quite able to do both at once. He was also aware of the time he spent playing and was good about it. New laptop and new game - this one involves him being plugged in to the computer with noise reducing headphones, so I am shut out. He means well, but has been playing this one a lot and it really bugs me. Time just seems to be going differently when he's on this one...hours slip by every night. Now given I lose him a couple of nights and a full Saturday each week for his martial arts, I think that quality time in what's left does not include at least a couple of hours after work on this game. I got so irritated today about last night that I cracked it and left the house to come to work. I said we both needed some alone time. And today is a public holiday here... So those of you who are addicted to games, what do you think would cause the best effect to get you to ration your behaviour? Any suggestions about how can I express myself, get my needs met and have him have his games within reason WITHOUT getting cranky?
  22. I can't really say I have relationships in the first place, to have relationships problems. I am a 26 year old male, I am currently at college and most of my time is spent studying, surfing on the internet and just thinking in my quiet space. I have a few hobbies as well like martial arts and going to the gym. Although I am interacting with people everyday, I can't really say I have any friends, I don't even know what the word means. There are people I talk to, hang out with at with college, but I don't know them outside of college. Similarily, I talk with people at clubs, but I don't know them outside of the club. I spend my holidays and festivals on my own. I have only dated, perhaps once or twice in my life, and I have had only one proper girlfriend, and that relationship did not last beyond a month. She was my only sexual partner in my life. I can't really say I know what "love" is. I have never been to a night club, and rarely have gone to a pub. I go to the cinema on my own. I don't really know how to behave with other people, I feel awkward and out of place. It's much worse in groups. Should I be living life without having relationships or intimacy in my life? Is this a serious problem I am having here? How should I address it?
  23. About 6 months ago I met a guy when I was overseas. He and I were both on holiday... we met in a different country, but we live in the same country ... about an hour and a half flight away. I had only been dumped by my boyfriend at the time for about 2 weeks, so no way was I even thinking about having a holiday romance. Since my holiday, this guy that I met have been talking for a short time each day on MSN... I think he is a fantastic guy All the the things I complain about 'guys doing this or guys doing that" he doesn't. I've even written posts on here on how hard it is to find a guy who likes all the things I like... and this guy is it! He's told me how he was very attracted to me... and still is. When I used to say" I want this and this and this in a guy..." He has all that! but... I don't feel ANY chemistry at all.. I haven't seen him in 6 months... and we met on holiday so maybe only thinks of me when I was tanned in my summer clothes.. know what I mean by this over-glorified idea of someone? When they may not be like that? But.. as I said, we talk most days.. he says I'm attractive that I challenge him etc etc.. and I really really like him We are thinking of meeting up in the next couple of months.. has anyone ever met someone that they really wished they had more chemistry with? Maybe there could be some... but this guy has... on paper.. everything I want.. and we get along fantastically... why can't I be attracted to him?
  24. Question for you all. If you had a friend that gained a lot of weight in a span of a few months and didnt look so good, would you point it out to that friend, esp if the friend didnt notice it themselve? Yeah, I am having one of those negative recrimination threads about my weight. I am disgusted with my weight and I can feel other teachers looking at me. I think everybody stares at me when I get chunky. I exercise and weight dont go down. My friends tell me that I look fine, but I dont believe them anymore, esp if people are repelled by me. The holidays are coming. Stress levels go up and I eat more. I've noticed that when I am worried about things like school, people, Mother, etc., I tend to go hunting for places that sell cakes. Yes, I eat cake and candy when I am nervous. Me, the blimp.
  25. I just wanted to see what everyones thoughts were on this. After a breakup and true NC begins (immediately to 1 to 6 months to 1 year after), does the dumper ever think about the dumpee??? I would guess yes, but what percentage do you think ever actually pick up the phone, or email to find out and let you know they miss you? I have been on both sides of this one, but was just curious to get peoples thoughts. We have cleared most of the holiday hurdles, but the hardest one is just 2 days away... If we still want our dumper to come back, we hope to hear from them saying they miss us and want to come back, but how many of them do you think act on it? All thoughts welcome.
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