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Something I have noticed and have wondered about. I notice alot of guys including my ex have high regard and admiration for Porn Stars such as Jenna Jameson, Tera Petrick, etc. These women have countless sex on film with anyone and will do anything sexual like gang bangs with 20+ men. Yet I hear guys have talk about them with alot of respect for these women and see them as godesses, alot of guys in entertainment date and marry them.. Yet the same men will call a regular girl who sleeps the worst names,, the S and W word etc and would never date them and look down on them and make fun of their sexual looseness. So can someone please explain this to me?

I'm a pretty conservative woman, I'm the type of "wait until marriage" kinda girl. From the start of our relationship, i discussed with my bf that I don't want to do it yet, we have to wait, etc., and he agreed. But months after that, there has been a couple of times that he wants and attempts to touch me and i feel so disrespected. I talked to him again about it but keeps agreeing, then doing it again despite of me saying no, again and again. It just keeps building so inside me, I feel so disrespected, nearly violated. Things are going out of the way for weeks now. I'm falling out of love but i feel like if I left him he would go ballistic. What should I do?

Hello, I have been dating a guy (28 years old) for 3 months, he asked me to be his gf recently. He is treating me very well but he constantly follows new naked insta models. These girls are people that he cant meet obviously but the problem is I find the fact that he is following and constantly seeking out naked woman very disrespectful. Also, the fact that he told me he will only have eyes for me and I will see with time that I can trust him, but despite saying these, him following these accounts doesnt look good to me at all. I am conflicted. On one side: - I know that guys and girls can look at other people and find otehrs attractive while in relationship too. I follows celebrities and footballers that I find attractive. But I wouldnt follow D... pictures on social media especially when I was in a relationship. It would be disrespectful to my bf and I am sure he would be worried if he saw my social media activity following bunch of accounts with d... pics. I find him following naked insta models on insta totally disrespectful. And He appears as a thirsty guy in my eyes now, who is constantly seeking out naked woman (but again I dont know if this is normal for men). - Indeed, before meeting him i've always wondered how my friends or other girls put up with such disrespectful treatment. I always told myself I would never be with someone who disrespects me like that. (Plz correct me if I am being so harsh). - So, since it has been only 3 months, I am considering to end the relationship by saying something like "we are not compatible" and continue dating and choose to be with someone who wont do that. Because I think that if I try to talk to him about his social media activity, I might appear as a controling person. Also, I dont want to tell him what to do. If he is happy following these women, he should. I shouldnt be preventing him. It shouldnt be a forced decison, it should come naturally from him. Perhaps he is not done exploring? On the other hand: - I am thinking about keeping it very simple and telling him: "I know its normal for both man and woman to look at other man and woman and find others attractive but following these accounts and constantly seeking out naked woman is disrespectful." I will also tell him that I always told myself I would never put up with such activity in a relationship and see what he will say and take it from there. -- I dont know which option is better. I feel that this relationship has a potential if we could get past the insta issue. Also, the reason why I posted here is, I want to get more opinions. Perhaps, I am overreacting and being overly jealous? Perhaps I should change the way I think about the whole thing? For instance, some people might say he is a men and men are visual, so if he is loving and caring and making me feel beautiful, loved etc, I shouldnt worry about social media. But on the other hand, his social media activity is not making me feel respected. Also is it really healthy to lust over others when in a relationship with someone you claim you care about? I would appreciate your opinions, what should I do?

Does this mean I gave up or I’m simply respecting your wishes? Because what was there really to give up? You were never mine, and I liked it that way. I liked what we had, it felt genuine and far from serious. It just was. And I kind of miss it, even though it wasn’t much. And I know trying to replace it isn’t enough, because whatever ‘it’ was felt like it could only be between us. I don’t want that kind of relationship with anyone else. I want to meet people that won’t just leave me baffled with questions that I’m too afraid to know the answers to. Like what made you so scared? why wasn't I enough?

Fall upon your knees, he said Please hang your head in shame Your worthiness is dubious Your character the same Your choices full of pleasure seeking Your question-minded soul You never thought to think of after For that, you pay a toll You never thought to worship me I barely crossed your mind Consumed with all your worldly cares I suppose you hadn't time Now judgement shall be harshly passed For merciful I'm not Turn the other way, my friend Join the wretched lot Upon my knees I will not fall I said, and did not bow Blindly I will not adhere Neither then nor now Your arguments are questionable Your logic sorely flawed Yet I who do not understand Should mindlessly applaud? Questions I indeed have asked I'll indulge my intellect And if your position is not to do so Then you I can't respect I did not need your laws to guide me I was guided nonetheless For the capacity to judge right from wrong I believe I do possess And sacrificial I have been For to be selfless I do strive But sacrifice not for hereafter It is now that you're alive And I have loved entirely Wholeheartedly and pure My existence is meant for nothing else Of nothing I'm more sure So, tell the masses, I will do so As I emerge from sleep We must not follow blindly leaders We are not shepherd's sheep

Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you talked about, even admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.---Robert Greene[/i] [/b]Everything in the world depends on absense and presense. A strong presense will draw power and attention to you-you shine more brightly than those around you. Bot a point is inevitably reached where too much presense creates the opposite effect: The more you are seen and heard from, the more your value degrades. You become a habit. No matter how hard you try to be different,** subtly, without knowing why, people respect you less and less. A the right moment you must learn to withdraw yourself before they unconsciously push you away. It is a game of hide-and-seek. **The truth of this law can most easily be appreciated in matters of love and seduction. In the beginning stages of an affair, the lover's absense stimulates your imagination, forming a sort of aura around him or her. But this aura fades when you know too much--when your imagination no longer has room to roam-(as I mentioned before re; keeping the mystery alive and well). Soon, the loved one becomes an ordinary person like anyone else, a person whose presense is taken for granted. "Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion"-Seventeenth century French courtesan, Ninon de Lenclos. The moment you allow yourself to be treated like anyone else, it is too late--you are swallowed and digested. To prevent this you need to starve the other person of your presense. Force their respect by threatening them with the possibilty that they will lose you for good; create a pattern of presense and absense. By withdrawing something from the market, you create instant value. In seventeenth-century Holland, the upper classes wanted to make the tulip more than just a beautiful flower--they wanted it to be a kind of status symbol. Making the flower scarce, indeed almost impossible to obtain, they sparked what was later called tulipmania. A single flower was now worth MORE than its weight in gold. The Sun. It can only be appreciated by its absense. The longer the days of rain, the more the sun is craved. But too many hot days and the sun overwhelms. *Learn to keep yourself obscure and make people demand your return. ***REMEMBER THIS*** This rule only applies once a certain level of appreciaiton has been attained. The need to withdraw only comes AFTER you have established your presense; leave TOO early and you do not increase your respect, you are simply forgotten. In love and seduction, similarly, absense is only effective once you have surrounded the other with your image, been seen by him or her everywhere. Everything must remind your lover of your presense, so that when you do choose to be away for awhile, the lover will be thinking of you, always be seeing you in his or her minds eye. *****REMEMBER: In the beginning, make yourself not scarce but omnipresent. Only what is seen, appreciated, and loved will be missed in its absense. Godspeed/Keep Cool! 8)

I wrote this for the married man who I desperately want but will never take. Feedback would be lovely IN YOUR BED, IN MY HEAD I just got home from his fancy place Makeup and self-loathing smeared onto my face And you're not on me, not even one cell Whilst he's everywhere, my skin is his smell I can smell his being intertwined with my hair I can smell his lust and I can't even care Talk of self respect, talk of hatred When all I'm wondering is, "Will we make it?" And if we do, what does that entail? The double life you lead comes out unlevel on the scale Numbers, measures, percentage and scores I have you less and I think of you more I think of you now, I thought of you then I tried to envision you again and again It didn't bear fruits, reality stayed real His unwanted touch made an unloving steal And yes it's true, there was something lost I can't quite describe it but I worry of its cost Was it me? Was it you? Was it us? Was it my happiness? Is life that unjust? But justice for me isn't justice for her It isn't justice for him, and not for you, I'm quite sure You talk of your life as if it's all said and done And see my own as only begun But I cannot be your fountain of youth I cannot be your lie as she remains your truth I cannot be half-hearted, I can only be whole I have too much to give you, an entire soul So walk home to your house, be with your wife Know that having me will not give you my life For isn't it true? Isn't that what I've seen? In your eyes infatuation intertwined with specks of green We are so different, there lies the appeal But loving me will not my character steal You cannot become what you never will be I can never be you, you can never be me So what do you miss and how can I give it? You talk so much of life but not once think to live it I'm not your saviour, nor are you mine Though you once were my happiness for a splinter of time And the memory stays for me a guilded treasure In the darkest of darks it's my guilty pleasure I'm aware it's not my right to make you my claim I'm aware it's not my right, but I did it just the same And oceans did move and moments were made But as the oceans stayed the same, the moments did fade I desperately clung to them with an unwavering grip The oceans kept moving, the moments would slip I would love to have them back but not at any price I think that to like myself again would be nice She is just a name, one not too often said But she exists nonetheless, in your bed, in my head

Why iz it noone can see how I feel,watch az tha tearz fall and tyme standz so still. you see I can scream to everyone but doez that mean you'll listen and why is it aint noone rap feelingz n' emotionz itz all about that gucci, carz n' diamondz glistenin.. Im so sick of thiz little kidd * * * * , Itz all bout who got tha biggest ballz, who tha real king iz down to who got shot n' which crew fallz and so it seemz I gotta spit recklezz sick * * * * just 2 get that chance 2 make it. So you see music is my lyfe fuzed with my vainz deep within my arteriez my heartbeat so cloze 2 so called melodiez. But still will they listen, thiz iz my goal a vision 2 change thiz nation 2 bring back hip-hop cuz hip-hop aint dead n' if it iz then im it re-incarnated. Like lil wayne Im tha bomb like tic,tic but my bomb got tha effectz like nitrouz liquid when I emitt it. someone so cloze 2 a prodigy, tha next new generation philosopher, so come walk with me.. thiz iz my lyfe,what I see, gotta different perspective. Almost died twice but I survived so now I understand what they mean don't count your blessingz,momma alwayz taught me 2 cherrish lyfez little thingz but sometymez * * * * dont make sense like all of lyfez meaningz, tha bull * * * * stressed out lyfe lessonz. So it seemz I draw some fencez, * * * * ed up misguided pop some pillz, all tha illusionz I guezz you can say thatz what I call my un-natural deffencez.. Why iz it noone talk real, you say you real but I doubt it, pleaze someone help cuz they got me bented n' twisted, like I care what they think an if you dont kno what im sayin then you must've missed it with a flo 2 raize hell n' an additude 2 call them haterz out n' say if you dont like thiz, then you can kizz it no disrespect but im so sick of hearin bull * * * * .. Call me karmah I bring tha truth out in tha open n what goez around comez back full 3 tymez 3, Im tha quiet nyte just before tha storm my wordz come quick like that cold breeze,with thiz flo call it far from normal I spit subliminal messagez imbedded between tha linez 2 leave out tha crooked onez, seen so much I guezz you can say I been around tha block more than once 2 many tymez. ..((LeT Me KnO' WhaT YoU Th!nK))...

*This disclaimer tells you that there is no set way or structure to what I write, just an assembly put into text, it isnt poetry or a short story, it just..is* Your bloodstream was laced with alcohol, you threw yourself onto me, I picked you up, carried you home, tucked you into bed, and placed a cold compress on your head, "YOU'LL FEEL BETTER IN THE MORNING KNOWING YOU NEVER SLEPT WITH ME" I said "C'MON MAKE ANIMALISTIC LOVE TO ME" remarked the girl with the soft, cold, watery towel on her head I tucked her in, kissed her cheek, and watched eager-eyde as she drifted to sleep. Hours later her eyes opened with a small peep. "Thanks for getting me home safely" she said with a curious smile All the while, fighting denial "Did I push myself onto you"? yes you did, but I didn't take heed, I wanted you to be in a clear frame of mind should you choose to sleep with me, no regrets, no "good lord what I have I done", just clarity. She looked at me, pained and hungover "Nobody I know has ever respected me like you have done, I dont even know you but would have regretted the fun, I dont sleep around, never wanted to and never will, and for you to resist me on a plate, shows great character and will" I smiled She remarked "I have this song stuck in my head, it's real relaxing" It was the lullaby I had sung her whilst tucking her in. I looked worn, keeping vigil to make sure she didnt swallow her tongue made me tired "Come under here, hold me, and tell me about yourself" Said the girl with the now-warm-compress on her throbbing head.

So, I've had a lot of ideas and false starts over the years, but with all the things I've been through and going through right now, I think the time is finally right to write a novel based on my life to date. I think the hardest part for me will be to find my own voice, because I read so much and I have such profound respect for the authors I love. I also worry that my voice won't make sense to anyone because of my asperger's, but that's one of the main reasons I want to write this novel in the first place. Nice catch-22 there, huh? I don't know that there's a point to this, but I just sort of wanted to put that out there.

We see the world with the language we are given Tell a child that the overgrown is a road of stone Stumbling, I flutter like a moth misinformed about a flame. Addiction to antipathy and repugnance to respect In similarity, astounding me as we fumble universally forthright towards neglect. No excuse! We avoid the call to arms in the eleventh hour procrastinating for no other reason than to teach ourselves to tell time in a digital age.

For the past year or so, my life hasn't been so good. I have had tons of issues recently that have nearly driven me to the point of madness. 1) I have no real friends. I've never really had one. I've always been socially distant and withdrawn. I won't let anyone close to me, and I have an impenetrable exterior. I don't feel like I can trust people. 2) I've always been astonishingly mature for my age. Despite my introverted ways, I have excellent social skills and I can communicate fabulously with adults. I had a 9th grade vocabulary level at age 12, and now I'm taking college language classes. 3) I can't communicate with people my age. Everytime I try to, it's always got some stupid problem like drugs, sex, parties, sports, and just basic drama in general. I don't understand why teenagers do stupid things that bring awful consequences upon them. I feel stupid when I converse with individuals in my class. 4) I'm straight, and I'm attracted to women, but the idea of romance and love to me has always seemed stupid. I've never been interested in being in a relationship. 5) I'm amazingly self-centered. I do things for me and only me. I do things my way. My opinion is the only one that matters (to me). Every thing I do basically benefits me. I don't want to have to worry about anyone else, or take care of anyone else but myself, which is probobly why I'm not suited for relationships. 6) My relationship with my parents is very "bi-polar." One day we will get along great, the next day, we're barking at eachother like a bunch of wild savages. My dad made me play sports for a while, something he loves and I don't care for. To me, sports have no point other than to achieve school pride, and to flash a sign over your head that says, "masculine." Both of which are stupid to me. I finally quit sports, and totally disobeyed my parents. My grandpa wouldn't talk to me for months, and slept outside with my dog until basketball season was over. 7) I'm incredibly intelligent. My IQ (according to my school counselor) was off the charts, but I have trouble applyng myself. Last year, I made straight A's. Nothing under an A actually, and the 3rd in my class. Now, I'm making B's (Which are okay), and C's (Which to me is unacceptable). 8) I have an attitude and respect problem. I'm incredibly cold-blooded and insubordinate. I believe I should not answer to earthly authority, and I don't feel that I'm supposed to show respect to anyone. 9) I turn to to material objects for stress relief. Reading superhero comics, and playing guitar and listening to music are my only ways of venting frustration. Any advice is appreciated.

So its not really poetry, just a personal reminder of the kind of woman I want to be. The Kind of Woman I Want to Be The kind of woman I want to be is the kind of woman who savors life like a good wine. The kind of woman who knows her own style and what that really is, and for whom class means more than textbooks and grades. I want to be the kind of woman who listens to others and can take it all in and then speak concisely and intelligently upon it. I want to be the kind of woman who when she walks into a room, business will be begin , creativity will flow, and ideas will grow. I want to be the kind of woman who has not forgotten the meaning of respect. I want to be the kind of woman who commands the respect of others, not through demand, but through the action of delivering. I want to be the kind of woman who uses words as her weapon of choice. Not to hurt, but to reveal to the world that eyes need to be opened and fires need to be lit. I want to be the kind of woman who knows how to extinguish the useless fires and how to light her own. I want to be the woman who is comfortable walking into the symphony in a formal gown as she is walking in jeans into the steakhouse. I want to be the woman who accepts others as they are, and who is accepted by most others. The kind of woman I want to be will walk away from nastiness with grace, and who makes others realize that through grace they can achieve their end. I want to be the woman who can lead by example, who voices her concern, who fights the fight all while maintaining strength, courage, and the ability to know when there are things I simply cannot change. Most of all I want to be a woman with humility, understanding, and a woman who with compassion sees the hearts of people. I want to be the kind of woman who can see need and create action to remedy the need. I want to be the kind of woman for whom the word humanity is not just another entry in the dictionary.

Loyalty, what is it? What does it mean? Is it important? Let me start off with a quote "The true test of loyalty is not what someone will do for you, but what they will give up." What is loyalty? Is it one's devotion to you? Some say that loyalty is the bond of true friendship. There is a common saying, "Communication is the foundation of a solid relationship. (Plutonic or otherwise)". If this is true then Respect is the ground, which this foundation is built. We cannot communicate truthfully or be truly loyal to those we do not respect. Respect is such a simple word and an even simpler concept. Or is it? How does one gain respect? Is it really all that is cracked up to be? Well like my quote says below. "One's merit is measured not in actions, but in the quality of character". One's actions reflect one's character, but they do not define who we are. Respect, loyalty, dignity and honour. Are these just buzz words? Do they really mean anything to anyone? To those who hurt us and betray us these words are a foreign as the sands of the moon. Do they mean anything to you? I've asked for no advice, yet will you respond? What feelings and thoughts have this post brought forth? Does it bore you? Does it make you think? Just a though, just a question. Feel free to answer or move onto the next.

Colors ---------------- Love comes in colors I believe this to be true None of them are brighter then when I think of you I close my eyes and ponder why your feelings changed maybe I came on too strong or we just went our separate ways You still trust me with your deepest thoughts the loves inside your mind but the love I have for you feels just like a crime You've made your intentions very clear and that I do respect but when I cant stop thinking of you its like a noose around my neck I see you each and everyday a smile burnt in my mind I feel my arms wrap round your sides and then i feel just fine But as we walk alone at night I try to turn and say I still like you, wish you'd think this thru but my thoughts give way to shame Then we make our way back to your house I muster one last stand I'll tell you how I feel about you Since beginning to the end I try to pour my heart to you but you just turn away I guess it wasn't meant to be loves colors dark today

I looked at that yellow shirt Looking from button to button I remembered I held it out in front of body As if embracing an old friend By the shoulders Letting him know I respect him You were such a good friend You remember when I met her She was beautiful, right? We seemed to hit it off right away When we were talking I couldn't help but stare into her eyes My heart was racing So fast and strong, It seemed like the only thing holding it back Was you, right there with me You remember, right? The first time I kissed her Under the moonlight It almost seemed as if the moon was a spotlight It was watching over us She held you in her arms She held me in her arms I was embracing her ever so gently She felt warm, didn't she? This yellow shirt You have a lopsided collar She accidentally ripped you She tried to sew you back together This yellow shirt You're slightly faded at the bottom I spilled my drink on you I apologize I was lost in her beauty I wasn't paying attention This yellow shirt Your top button is missing It popped off when she ripped you open You sat on the floor of her bedroom and watched It was my first time I'll remember it forever This yellow shirt You don't look so great anymore This yellow shirt You torment me with memories This * * * * ing yellow shirt You were there You were their that day I saw her walk toward me, she seemed upset We reached out and tried to comfort her She rejected me I sat down with her She wouldn't look at me I asked her what was wrong You remember what she said, don't you? You remember it word for word "I can't do this anymore." That's what she said, right? She walked away I tried to catch up We grabbed her arm She turned and grabbed my wrist Her face never looked so cold Her eyes were bitter They looked the same as before But I saw myself in them My arm fell to my side She stared me down She walked away from us The ring in my pocket felt so heavy I looked down There you were, yellow shirt Reminding me of everything The memories that once felt so good The memories that now feel like torture The memories that you bring back I couldn't get rid of you You brought back so many memories I had to get rid of you You brought back so many memories I'm holding you in front of my body I'll give you a second chance I'll wear you once again I looked accross the street I know you saw what I saw But who was she with? You knew, didn't you? I couldn't handle it I had to get away Every reflection Every window or mirror Brought back memories Memories of us Memories of her I looked to the left You saw it coming, didn't you? You didn't say anything The bright lights speeding towards me On this road I had traveled with you The lights went out It was in this shirt This yellow shirt When I met her It was in this shirt This worn-out shirt I experienced my first with her It was in this shirt This * * * * ing shirt She left me It was in this shirt This yellow shirt That I laid to an eternal rest

After standing on the shore of Ogygia for the last year and a half, I've finally started my journey home. Calypso and I have parted ways. Our final words had the love and respect for our destiny's apart. We were both islands for each other. I didn't need to say those words of love buried in our hearts. It was there. Now my raft is drifting slowly away from her. Soon she will be just a point on the horizon. The sea rises up in front of me to challenge my will again, but I know I will persevere until I can again see the shores of my beloved Ithaca. Those material things which are reminders of my time with Calypso, will be burned on the alter of truth, their ashes sent into the stars uncounted. Their energy sent back into the cosmos I'm finally truly healing from this love affair.

hey ENA, thought id share somethings i wrote during the last two months. love to hear what you think of them your friend, amure rebirth Scavenging your memories, don’t hurt yourself. How do I stop the anxiety from helping myself? When the burning leafs of your autumn tree fall out Past memories and dreams Turn to seeds as rebirth. As the tree of life grows, Another autumn wind blows… Chasing fires on the horizon waiting my turn. Pressing buttons as the bombs slip, Silencing lambs. This venomous society is like the Klu Klux Klan. ----- real love I miss every little thing about you Even if every little bit is rotten It will never stop my love for you Because I don’t just love you for the good things Love hearts, love notes and diamond rings. I love you for the bad things too. The fights, disagreements, and the mood swings. I don’t just love you for the things you said I love you even if you wished me dead. It’s because of all the things you do, I accept and still love you. If you only find love in the lightest of places. You fell for a wish, It’s definite, that love has many more faces. But if you respect the dark when the light shines in Your happiness is forever. And the more you endeavour The stronger you perceive situations The longer you strive for that determination.

beacuse i didnt feel like pronouncing all of the language.... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 1] mussles relaxed from pills that will soon induce convulsants...... stong an powerful that can have one spittn blood like faucets.... dialating pupils, outrageous movements from ones torso..... these haulucinations seem to tear flesh apart so unremorseful..... force from sadantants, will have ure heart ripped n shreadded.... knew from the making, this can have minds lifted n embedded.... feels like coke n benzine wedded, to kill ure whole Inhibitory drugs do u in such as peircing ure lungs jumpin from da 3rd story salucadations to ure kidneys which crumble as if artificial....... cuz anxiety is ruining u from overdoseing on Secobarbitals...... the dendrits of the possesor cringe to use mo forceful antidotes..... n u wana live right? when u on ah binge struggle on ya lass rope..... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 2] faces of men twisted unorthodox parrallel to his existence...... yayo pipes from paradox promises de-swells reminisance...... bloody arms shaking from abrasive needles peirced in veins... sharing virus infected in colonies that seem to go n trains...... the horizon in their eyes closes, to show death in disguise..... these deamons come in surprise, to sho men their utter demise.... reach fo allies, held down to earth so u cant reach for the skies.... look in ya eyes, can't see anything but empty promosis n lies... premanition of premature xanax, flooding the upper level..... the brain becomes stagnant, reducing to influence from the devil... twitch in withdrawl, we see no activty from his lungs at all..... switch n appall, we pay respects for a man whos life has dissolved..... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 3] habitual practices deceived to feel licit reduce hypoxia.... the tissues decay n receive no oxygen its locked fo ya.... larynx sufferage, trachea place in throat to help him breathe... dis is from enveloped failed experiments to make humans bleed.... induce vomit the stomach cannot hold whats not meant to go in.... but u refuse to give up the ghost, to be dead n lifeless within.... pounding in the chest, shockwaves to help eyes rotate forward grounded in caressed, form ure seizures screamin help me Lord!!! da drugs are savage, they have no remorse on ure vital signs like thugs who r ravage, they beat until u can't think with ure mind.... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance....

Four years and 357 poems. A five year friendship and every ounce of self respect I’ve accumulated as an adult. This is what it’s cost me to love you, to keep it alive, then watch in horror as it was exposed. It was left there to breathe and be toyed with quite often between years one and three before you decided it could be closed, but should remain slightly ajar which became the part of me that always hoped.... I can’t think of a better analogy than carrying a torch while I attempt to explain these years of my life but I wish there were better words, more dynamic imagery and traumatic associations, something so all encompassing and spot on that I would never have to write whine fest number 358. Your heart was breaking for someone else the last night that we made love. That part of you that once would have given both arms to be where I was had become a dormant cell, a person buried and a dream left to sleep too long to acknowledge its fruition. I would do so many things different or maybe I would go back and not have done it at all, every day is a wrestling match and now my heart breaks for you like routine maintenance that may be rescheduled but never canceled. This thing I carry has eaten through my hands but I am saving the ashes like severed parts that can be reconstructed in case it is ever dropped. Now, picture a grown woman hobbling with a torch between her wrists and weary arms, thinking to herself, why doesn’t this stop??

Please help. I am not feeling very well I have not slept properly for the last 4 or 5 days. I wake up early in the morning worrying about this. Basically my long-distance boyfriend told me unexpectedly that he wants to take a distance and wants to be less involved. I know he has been extremely unhappy with the fact that I am so far and he has been quite upset about it. Anyway, he told me that something has to change if we should stay together. So we both agreed that within the next 6 months, we both will try our best to move closer to each other. He is coming over to see me next weekend as he has got an interview here. The thing is I did not expect that he would tell me that he needs distance. I asked him what he means by that. He said that this is the only way he can continue our relationship and deal with the distance. He said he knows it's very hard but I should try to respect it. He said he does not want to communicate over the phone or text messages so much, not so often. I asked him if it means we are broken up, he said it does not. I asked him if there is someone else, he said there is not and if there would be, he would have told me. He also said that he has big problems at work with his boss and he wants to find a new job and stabilise his job situation so he said he needs time for that. He said he is sorry for neglecting me but I need to accept this. He said he is doing this to save us. He said to me to be sure that he still loves me and that his feelings have not changed. But I cannot help feeling worried about it. I asked him to call me 2 days ago, he did. He said that he though he had already explained everything to me. I told him that it worries me and that I don't understand it. I said to him that I worry that he is meeting someone else. He told me that he is not. He got a bit upset that i don't seem to be able to respect his feelings. He said that he does not want to talk about this anymore. He said that he has so much to worry about right now and now he has to worry about me as well. He told me that I only add to his stress with my worries. He is coming next Saturday but I am not sure if I am strong enough to stay away from my phone? I don't want to ruin things but I am feeling uncomfortable with the way he has pulled away from me? I texted him during the night that I miss him but he is not replying to me. We have had a few occasions when he has pulled away like this normally if he has stress at work or if he is upset about something. However, this time it feels different as he said to me that he needs this to stand our distance situation? And he added that I should not worry that it's only temporary until our situation changes. But our situation will not change until 6 months later or so.. He also told me that he is upset when he see all of his friends with their girlfriends and he is always alone. He said that I cannot expect him to be the pefect boyfriend, who is waiting for me all the time. He said that he has done this for too long and he cannot make such efforts anymore? This is what worries me the most. That's why I asked him if it means he was interested in someone else. I don't know what to do. I keep crying. I cannot concentrate. I feel like this is the end but then he said that to me that if I am not happy with it and I want to break up, he will go. so we are still together but I feel like he is not "there" and it makes me feel anxious and sad. What should I do? I am so upset about this.

We, human beings are born on earth, under the same sky, under the same sunlight and moonbeam, Why do we have different destinies! Children of the poor have no money to buy books and go to school, Children of the rich go to study abroad. Those with dollars are winners and those with empty stomachs are losers. Court clerks and judges swindle. Where is Justice! Anarchic society with dictatorship, injustice, market dwellers, gambling, nepotism and gangsters, No respect for law, fighting, killing each other, causing misery and suffering. How long will I survive! Dirty society, bribery and dollars rule; cheating people out of property, people cry out. The bad ones enjoy beautiful villas while powerful figures sit down, cross legged and relaxed! No compassion, no sentiment, farmers with no land, peasants with no crops like off-season flowers. While peasants’ hands are picking fish paste , powerful figures gamble big hands in casinos. How long will I survive! A poem by Mam Sonando

constant companion my one inspiration my bones cry out for you let my heart say how I feel it will prove that love is real come now into the safety of these arms stay close, forever close, and I'll protect let yourself be draped in hues of honor and respect my dagger your servant, my shadow your shield light the path and give me voice make me that unquestioned choice with my life I pledge that you will never come to harm constant companion my one inspiration my bones cry out for you

A very long post!! Ok, so you significant other needs, seems or acts like they need some space. What do you do you ask. Give it to them, that's it, its that easy. Well it's not easy to do but it is easy to remember. Remember they wanted it and as a caring, loving person you should respect that. The respect you show them by doing this will help their opinion of you. They will see that you are giving them what they need and want and they will start to think about you differently. Now I know that it stinks, I've been there, I know, but its what needs to happen. Obviously there is something in the relationship that isn't working at the moment, and unfortunately the problem is probably you, well their problem is you. I know its sounds harsh but seriously, they have been with you for X amount of time and things were good and something changed. Now its not you fault completely, comfort levels with other people begin to increase and both parties start to get too comfortable with each other and let things happen that they really didn't want to happen (IE: sitting on the couch watching TV and not hanging out with friends and family). All of a sudden one person recognizes this, bugs out and starts to do things to get out of the situation, bad things start to happen at this point. Things probably changed slowly, may not have even noticed it at first, then one day you wake up and realized that your other is not who they use to be. So you start to become needy, trying to get them back into the cycle you knew before and you were comfortable with. This is not good and the point where things get really bad. At this point ask yourself, how bad is it? Is it worth holding onto? Do they deserve to be with you after treating you this way? Why are you fighting for something that seems to be dying? If you want to maintain the relationship then maybe what I continue on about will help you. If you want to end then do it there is no need to stay somewhere you don't want to be. So now your other thinks your needy and they start to pull back even further because you keep trying pull them back in. DON'T DO THIS. That will only make things harder on you. Ok, when you first start to notice this happening you need to take a step back yourself. Look at yourself and see what's going on around you, don't jump to conclusion just yet and remember DO NOT bug out. I know at this point all you want to do is talk to them and fix things verbally, I really don't see this working, for some it might, I guess it depends on the maturity level but if the other person was mature enough for this though they would have come to you in the first place instead of just pulling away without warning. So relax things probably aren't as bad as they seem, you just don't have any information about what's going on so you feel left out, your hurt, your sad, you may even reach the point of tears (don't do this if you can). Crying to them and preaching your love for them is only going to push them another step back and if you do it frequently enough they may start to run. You don't want that I'm sure, well maybe you do and you just don't know it yet. I mean has the relationship really been everything you wanted, you say yes now but are you sure???? This is why you need to take a step back for yourself, you need to assess the situation and start making some calls that are for you, not them, they don't want you around right now anyway so the hell with them, make it about you for a change. I know, I know, how do I do that? Well depending on how bad your situation got there are different things you'll need to do. The worst I've ever been, I was completely in love with this girl, who I thought was a great girl, but I let myself fall for her little game of wanting me around all the time, so I gave that too her, I had no friends and my family and I didn't really talk to much anymore, it was bad. I had nothing but her in a place I didn't want to be. Anyway you have to stop, stop calling them at work to say hi, stopping going out of your way for them, don't ask them nicely if they can grab you a pack of smokes on their way home from work, tell them to grab you a pack, be a little rude about it. Don't call them to find out when they will be home, don't call them to tell them when you'll be home, at this point they don't deserve anything from you. Are they giving you anything, do you feel respected by them? Probably not. So don't give them what they won't give back to you. This is not easy to do; actually it will be the hardest thing you have ever had to do. Just remember they aren't respecting you, get a little upset about it, feed off that resentment you now have towards them, that's how they got this way. Your allowed to be angry at them for what they are doing but if you want to keep them around you cant tell them. Words at this point will do you no good, they are tired of hearing you, so whatever you say, will NOT be heard. Now you have to show them what you want and how you feel. And your angry now so make sure they can sense that but don't ever get angry at them, even if they do something they deserve to be yelled at for (well there a few things that you can get mad about, cheating is one and probably the only one at this point). Just shrug it off, act as if you don't care, remember they don't care so why should you. Try not answering the phone when they call, its pretty liberating. Let them call you but don't always be available. Don't wait to see what there doing to make your plans, there is a good chance that they already have plans and YOU are probably not included. Use this against them, they are expecting you want to hang out with them and/or get upset about them going out, again, so they will call you and tell you they are going out, tell them to have fun and nothing else, do not ask where they are going, who they are with, what they are doing, act as if you don't care, just tell them to have fun and you will see them later, it will drive them crazy. If you are going too and IF they ask what you have going on tell them your going out and not much else, if they ask for more detail (and they will in time start to dig for more) be vague (IE: me and the guys are going to shoot pool) but DON'T OFFER any info to them they don't deserve that respect right. SHOW them how it feels, leave them in the dark for a bit. The whole point to this is that you need to take control and you can't do that living your life for them. So take control of the situation, they think they are in control and that's why they don't feel bad about what's going, their friends keep telling them that they are right and making them feel better about this. But if you take away the things that they are feeding off of, then they will starve to death. Even if the whole thing doesn't work out, you at least have begun to rebuild your life with out them, this way you will not get massacred if the goes down. Just remember you were not born to serve that person and they weren't born to serve you, a relationship is a two way street but when one person is using both lanes to go one way its time to take your lane back and get things moving in your direction too. I like this post I think it's a fitting end to mine, check it out, we all have Spee to thank for this one. link removed Comments? Questions? Argument? Let me know. I wrote this to help others and myself and if something is wrong or if this really helped you, I would like to know. These are just from my experiences and may not work for you, but it has seemed to work for me.

Hello. I have been feeling really uncomfortable about my boyfriend and I am not sure why. He spends all of his time with me, and I should not suspect him of anything, however, him and I have been through some rough times in the past. When things were just going wrong with him, I started hanging out with someone else, and after all that went down, I found out he might have done a little something of HIS own. A couple people have told me he did, but I have no real proof, and he has denied everything. Now, we have moved on..for the most part, and out of respect to him, I have no contact with this other man, and all I ask for is that he does not have contact with this girl. They work together, well, we ALL worked together, and after fidning some pictures online of halloween, i see a picture of them together, with their arms around each other. It makes me VERY suspicious, and angry, even though it is only a picture. I hate this girl, i really do, and I find it disrespectful that they are close in this picture, even if it is of all the employees. SHould I be upset about this..or even annoyed, or is it silly?? It just hurts me to much, and bothers me to see her hand touching his leg! He is always with me, so why am I having such a hard time believing that nothing ever happened. Chances are I will NEVER find out, if something did, so is there any sense in letting this hurt my relationship?? I dont know what to do. I love him very much, and do not want to feel upset about this. Help!!! Am i silly?