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  1. I like the girl who has a boyfriend. At the end of September 2023, along with two other girls, we started renting an apartment together. We're all students. As for me, I'm in my final year of studies and work full-time in IT. I've developed strong feelings for one of my roommates, even though we've only known each other for a month, we already know quite a bit about each other, and we talk a lot. We chat in the mornings before heading to classes or work, or for hours late at night over tea or while preparing dinner (we've even gone out to eat together). We always fill the kettle for two people, knowing that the extra water will be for her or for me (and it works; almost always, one of us leaves the room to make tea and start a conversation). To be honest, I haven't talked to anyone this much in such a short time in many years. I haven't let anyone get to know me so well in a long time. We're both introverts, yet conversation comes easily to us. We've even found a "common language" - we both love cats. We send each other Instagram reels every day, and for the past three weeks, we've been going to the gym together 2-3 times a week. I recently introduced her to a different sport, which is my hobby, and despite her initial fear of it, she was eager to give it a try. We often go grocery shopping together, and once, I even helped her pick out the color of tights in an Action store XD. Our conversations are not awkward or stiff; they are very relaxed, and we maintain prolonged eye contact. We often share jokes, and recently, I made her laugh so hard that we both cried from laughter. It seems like she doesn't mind my company because, despite my apologies (which may have been unnecessary) for talking so much, resulting in 5-10 hours of chatting in the kitchen until late at night, she herself said that I didn't need to apologize because if she didn't want to talk, she could have ended the conversation and gone to her room. She even asked me not to laugh and showed me some of her old photos to show how her hair used to look, which was somewhat random, but I also complimented her hair, and vice versa, I showed her some of my childhood pictures. It seems that we may have broken some kind of personal space barrier during our conversations because sometimes, when she wanted to show me something on her phone, she didn't mind getting close to me or pulling her chair right next to mine. Recently, she mentioned that she liked how I optimized the space in my room and asked for help in rearranging her entire room. During one of our conversations, I managed to slip in a question about why she no longer lives with her boyfriend. She mentioned that they had a big argument, and their relationship was on the verge of breaking up, so she decided not to live with him for now. I was cautious and quickly returned to our previous topic, which seemed to go quite smoothly. To be honest, it gave me hope when I heard that their relationship had recently been hanging by a thread. I've noticed a few times that her boyfriend texts her when we're talking, but she puts the messages aside and doesn't reply for many hours during our conversations. In the past month, he has only visited our apartment twice for a few hours and once for a night (first day of renting). The first time, it seemed like she might not have wanted him to come because it was right after our late-night tea talk when she went to study, and her boyfriend suddenly arrived. She didn't seem excited to see him, but rather tired and somewhat reluctant in her tone when she said, 'Why did you come? I told you I'm studying.' The second time, they baked an apple pie, spent time in her room, and then her boyfriend left (the apple pie was tasty). Maybe I'm just being naive, or maybe I'm right in thinking that I might have a chance with her, even though she's still officially in a relationship. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to weigh the pros and cons of telling her how I feel. I don't want to ruin the atmosphere in the apartment, but at the same time, I'm trying to subtly let her know that I don't see her as a stranger in the room next door. Would confessing my feelings scare her away? I'm 22 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I've never really flirted with any girl, I'm terrible at reading 'signals,' and perhaps I'm imagining things that are just normal among women, and I come across as an idiot.
  2. As someone who has navigated the tricky terrain of finding a roommate, I vividly remember the day I posted my first ad: 'Looking for a female roommate near me'. The mixed feelings of anticipation, anxiety, and excitement were overwhelming. But with a blend of patience, caution, and open-mindedness, I learned a lot from my search. Here's my personal journey, garnished with a set of seven tips that will hopefully assist you on your quest to find the ideal female roommate. First, let's talk about what I learned from the simple act of seeking a female roommate. Initially, I was driven by a pragmatic concern – the need to split the rent. However, I soon discovered that finding a female roommate was an opportunity for personal growth and forging a new friendship. Suddenly, my hunt for a roommate was about more than just practicality. Over time, I realized that a compatible roommate shares more than just bills; they share their life experiences, dreams, and sometimes even their fears. It was this deeper understanding of shared living that helped me to refine my search, shifting my focus from "female roommate near me" to "compatible female roommate near me". This is the first lesson - consider your prospective roommate as a potential friend, not just a financial convenience. 7 Proven Tips (From a Personal Journey) In my pursuit of the perfect roommate, I accumulated a plethora of insights that I believe will be beneficial to anyone in a similar situation. So, without further ado, here are seven insider tips to find your ideal female roommate: 1. Define your ideal roommate: My roommate journey became easier when I sat down and defined what I was actually looking for in a roommate. Do you prefer someone quiet or lively? Do they need to be neat and tidy? Is it essential that they love (or at least tolerate) your pet? These questions can help you narrow down your search. 2. Use trustworthy platforms: My search began with me sifting through various online platforms. I quickly learned that not all platforms are created equal. Choose websites that verify user profiles for authenticity. This can protect you from potential scams and ensure that you're connecting with real people. 3. Set clear expectations: This is a crucial step that many overlook. Communicate your lifestyle, house rules, and financial responsibilities clearly from the get-go. This can prevent disagreements in the future. Remember, clarity is the key to peaceful cohabitation. 4. Interview potential roommates: After initial screening, I arranged meet-ups with potential roommates. This was an enlightening experience! Face-to-face interaction can tell you a lot about a person's character, habits, and compatibility with you. Consider this as a casual interview process where both of you get to evaluate each other. 5. Trust your instincts: Throughout my search, my gut feelings were my best guide. If something felt off about a person or situation, I trusted my instincts. Your intuition can often save you from potential troubles. 6. Request references: This was a game-changer for me. Asking for references from previous landlords or roommates can provide invaluable insights about your prospective roommate. After all, these are the people who have lived with them and can vouch for their reliability. 7. Be patient: Lastly, remember to be patient. Finding the right roommate is not a race; it's more like a marathon. Take your time to make a thoughtful decision. After all, you're not just sharing your home, but also your personal space and daily life. These tips, accumulated from my personal experience, can make your search for a 'female roommate near me' a much smoother and successful journey. So, here's to finding that perfect roommate and embracing a new chapter of your life! A Lifelong Bond Fast forward a few years, my search for a 'female roommate near me' led me to Lisa, who has since become a cherished friend. Our journey started as roommates, but over time, we shared laughter, tears, dreams, and fears. This experience taught me that finding a roommate is not just about sharing living expenses; it's about finding someone with whom you can share your life. Remember, it's not always about convenience, it's also about companionship. As I look back, my quest to find a female roommate has been an enlightening journey, filled with valuable lessons. I sincerely hope my tips can make your journey less daunting and more rewarding. Remember, the right roommate might just be around the corner, waiting to share a wonderful chapter of life with you! Additional Resources To further help you in your search, here are a few book suggestions that I found to be incredibly useful: "The Roommate Book: Sharing Lives and Slapping Fives" by Becky Simpson "Surviving the Roommate Apocalypse" by Danielle R. Brown "Living with Others: How to Make It Work" by William L. Moseley
  3. The room often times feel like the most shield and safe place a person can have. It's where one can reduce their stress, relax, and recuperate from the travails of life. With that said, it can also provoke anxiety when a college student's roommates wreak havoc on that peace. It can be especially disheartening when these people break into the room without permission, leaving scattered mess and a lingering sense of uneasiness. What can you do when your roommates are violating your privacy in this way? How can you make sure that it stops? Should you confront them? One common reaction many college students have is to attempt to keep their roommates from entering the room. This could involve placing locks on doors, blocking entrances, or even leaving things inside that might serve as an obstacle. Although this could seem like a reliable solution, the issue unique to college living makes this difficult. Most dorms are communal living spaces and having to go to great lengths to keep people out may result in a strained relationship and possibly invite more mischief. At this point, it's important to assess whether the intrusions are malicious or simply innocent. If they are intentional and/or happen with regularity, then you should consider confronting them directly. Make sure there are no emotions clouding your judgement and provide honest and straightforward feedback to explain why this behavior is unacceptable. Clearly state what you agree upon in order to prevent any further intrusions. If the incident appears to be accidental or the trespassing was done by mistake, acknowledge the situation and let your roommates know that their actions were improper. While you don't necessarily need to be confrontational in this case, it's still important to make your feelings known. A simple reminder that the rules of shared living are in place for a reason should suffice. Furthermore, if other people are involved (multi-occupancy dorms, mutual friends, etc.) bring up the incident and be sure that they also understand why it's wrong. Speak up before it becomes a habit. No matter the circumstance, it is essential that your roommates understand that the privacy of your room must be respected. Learning how to live together is an important part of the college experience, so developing trust goes a long way. That being said, communication is key and there is no harm in talking things out.
  4. hey guys (and girls), it would be awesome if i could get some advice. i'm a college student and ride the bus from a parking lot to campus. there is this guy that i keep seeing on the bus b/c we have the same schedule and we get off at the same stops. i think he's very attractive and i know this may sound lame, but we have the same cell phone, which i find ironic b/c i've never seen anyone with my phone before (it's kind of rare, not like a razor or anything common). but anyways, i find this guy really attractive and he totally seems like my type. my roommate keeps telling me that i should just casually sit by him and start up a conversation but i'm sorta old fashioned and would much prefer if guys approached me first. my question is...do guys like being approached first by girls (casually, not like a pick up line) or do they think it's a desperate attempt? i just wanna get to know him, so i don't have any intentions per say. please help me out with what i should do! thank you!!!!
  5. My partner and I have been together for 9 years. We work opposite shifts and finanically we can't change that right now. So we have saturday and sunday. In the beginning like all couples we couldnt keep our hands off each other. as the years passed the sex got less and less. I have mentioned this to her. we have gone over it a 100 or more times. the more it is brought up the less sex we have. She says she loves me and its that we are just too busy, or one of us is sick. She said she didnt like that I was always coming on to her or always asking for sex that was one of the reasons. then it was she felt pressured. there is always a reason. If it wasnt for the lack of sex our lifes would be great. We have everything else a couple could want. We are down to having sex maybe 18 times a year. Am I over reacting? Should I move into the spare bedroom since I feel more like her bestfriend and a roommate then I do her lover?
  6. Ok, this whole thing is very new to me. I have never really had to ask for advice before, but I really don’t know what options I have left. I hope you all can really help me and my boyfriend. First I’ll start with a little background. We are both in our mid twenty’s and gay. We’ve been together for 9 months now and have problems having sex. When we first started going out we both agreed that we were taking the relationship slow. We were always making out, holding hands when we were out at the bars, and touchy feely. After the first month he started not liking being touched, then stopped the making out, then said that we shouldn’t hold hands in public because it looks like we’re insecure to other guys. After about 2 weeks of dating we had sex for the first time and it was really good. After that it was about a every week and a half to two week thing and continues like that to this day. Gradually we built up to once a week; give or take a couple days. We had a talk about 3 months into our relationship and he basically said that he didn’t like when I initiated sex, and that if he wants it he will let me know. Since that day we don’t make out unless we’re having sex, only give little pecks. I decided that I wouldn’t touch him or initiate anything and haven’t since. It also seems that we only have sex when we’ve been drinking or right after arguing. Over the past 9 months I know that I do love him and I know that he does love me, and that is the only reason that I am staying with him, is because I do love him. But the problem with sex has to change. I feel like I should be able to touch him, give tongue when kissing, or initiate sex when I feel like I want it. Here’s what I know about him. Before he met me he lived with an older guy for free that allowed him to live there for two years as long as he would do sexual things with him when the guy wanted. Of course he did that when him and his boyfriend lived there for a year without his ex knowing about it. That is when his sexual problems started. They eventually broke up over it and he continued to live there for over a year and a half with the same arrangement. When we talk about this issue he said that a lot of it has to do because he was not in control of sex; that he would have to do it when he was asked so he doesn’t like being touched or having sex initiated by me because of his “roommate”. He also mentioned a couple times that he is afraid that if I initiate sex and he doesn’t want to do it and tells me that, that I will get mad and he doesn’t want to deal with that. Apparently his old “roommate” would give him attitude and yell at him if he told him he wasn’t feeling like it. I do respect this and because I do love him am willing to work on the problem, but I don’t know where to start. I suggested that he see someone to talk about it, but that is something that he is refusing to do. He has said that when we do have sex that he enjoys it and I believe him cause of how he is when we have sex. He also has told me that he does masturbate when he gets horney. I look at it in two ways. Either in the future he will be better and we will have the honeymoon period that we never had, or I will get to the point that I cannot tolerate the issue and break up with him over it. What I am looking for are ideas to help him through this. What can I do to improve our sex life? What can I do to help him understand that I am not taking advantage of him? Do you think that there is any hope for improvements or is this a relationship a lost cause? Please help me!! Thanks in advance.
  7. To cut a long story short, about a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me. This lead me into a deep depression, that I've been pulling myself out of thanks to the help of people here at ENA. I've made a lot of changes in myself in order to feel better about myself, and people have noticed. But not everyone seems to be as happy for me as I would of hoped. I have a roommate who seems to take every opportunity now to tear me down ever since I started changing myself for the better and started doing new things. He's always making comments about how my ex will never come back to me, and how I'm going crazy (get this, he said I have a case of mania, just because I've started feeling happier each day as I pull out of my depression and change my outlook on life)... The thing is though the changes I've made were needed. I needed to start going out more and doing more things, so I've stopped sitting in front of the computer all day long because I knew that it wasn't healthy. I've stopped watching every single episode of or watching movie because I want to do other things now rather than sit in front of the TV. He always is getting pissed off now because I've stopped doing these things, stopped putting up with his jokes (which are more insulting than funny), and overall have stopped doing things he wants to do. He's the only one who makes those comments though. My other roommates who see me just as much are happy for me, and my buddies from home are welcoming the new changes, as well as, my parents who have told me myself "Wow. You've changed so much for the better". In general I'm asking what should I do? I'm really sick and tired of dealing with him. I'm trying to pull myself out of my sadness, but he seems to get sport in putting myself back in it.
  8. So we have been seeing eachother casually for 10 months, but very serious for 4 months. We have every indication that we are going to be together for a very very long time. I am 28 and she is 19. She is so much older that 19 however. She looks and acts the part of someone 25. ANyway, her birthday is coming up March 16. I told her I obviously wanted to spend her birthday with her and I asked her to go out of town with me for the weekend. The weekend would involve quite a bit of alone time, but during the mornings I would have softball games. She loves softball and loves watching my games. She said sure right away and then a few days later said it would be a bad idea cause she wanted to be home for St. Patty's day cause that is when her friends would probably celebrate her B-day. I had NO problem with this whatsoever and told the team I was not going to the tournament and that was that. I'd rather be with my girl anyhow! She is very sensitive about her age and she has 2 roommates who both think she is 20 and about to turn 21. She never told them this, but never corrected them either. They kept bringing up going out to the bars that weekend. Well, she was getting nervous and wondering what they would have planned. A month or so passed and just 2 weeks ago she says to me "hey, you really want to go to that tournament, don't you?" I said "I'd like to, but spending your birthday without you isnt an option". So she says, "lets go to the tournament...it'll be fun, plus I wont have to worry bout my roommates!" I said like 5 times over the next 2 days "Are you sure, are you sure" and she kept saying "yes". Well, the closer it gets, the more I realize I should have just said "no" to going to the tournament. She isnt as excited as she would normally be for an out of town weekend. So, I know I have to hit another HR with a gift or plan for her B-day! I hit HR's with Christmas and with Valentines Day. She loved the gifts. I got her a Claddaugh ring from Ireland with her birthstone for V-day and for X-mas I got her several things, including a picture that I made for her that professed my love for her. It was framed and she loved it. I picked up on all the little hints thru the month and got her everything she wanted! For her b-day I was gonna take her to get her 2nd tattoo (and I'll still do that) but I need something for the weekend! We will arrive at the hotel around 10pm friday night (the night of her b-day). I am lost and am looking for romantic type, melt on the spot type of gift or something...ANY HELP?????
  9. I know that quite a few of you guys have been trying to help me and I needed to come clean about sending an email to my ex. I would have chickened out over the phone. I was mad, because I was always scared to just say how I felt used. Blender, I know you are going to be angry that I did not take the advice to not feel the need to prove anything to her and that the best thing I could do was to grow. I am going to grow. I just finally wanted to be bold enough to say what I felt. I will be better... Here is what I sent Hello, Sorry for sending you this at work, but I know you don't read your home email. I woke up angry this morning and thought that if I didn't send this, I would chicken out and dammit, I need to say this. You know I was thinking that you needed someone to move in with your family when your brother moved out and there I was. You ended up at my condo to be friends with benefits and basically lived there. You ended up at my town-home, basically moved in and I ended up living with you and your sister, which was fine because as hard as it is for you to believe, I actually cared about you two, but you never even offered to pay rent. I had to ask for it after I offered you the second room. So, finally you decide to get your own place, because you guys want your own place and you end up gravitating to my apartment, basically because all of the crud that was going on at your place. So, we store a bunch of stuff at my place, you basically live there and again you offer no help at all. You need help with your business and I gave you plenty of help to even include letting you know that I would answer phones or help you find a place to start your business in. So you decide you will buy a condo for your family, but for some reason, you don't want me to help or know anything about it. Your family backs out and you decide to do it anyway. I move in with you, because I don't want you to go under and leave my apartment. So you immediately tell me that I need to pay more than your sister, because I made more money than here. That makes no sense. A roommate is a roommate. Just another way I should have know I did not mean squat. Then, I start working the other job and am making the same amount that she does and am I paying less? No, I am not. So, I am worried about you going under and realize that you need help so I get someone involved to give you a loan on your property who then decides to buy it. So, they buy it and you walk away with enough money to pay everyone back. You got the loan to pay people off to begin with and then got to sell the place and walk away with enough to no longer need me. During this last year, you are living in the apartment that we had to get together and living with all of my stuff, while I am living with K-Mart furniture, sleeping on an air mattress and eating with plastic silverware for Pete's sake, all so you could have everything you needed. I grant you that I thought I would be coming home, but a part of me knew it was over. So I am now by myself, struggling, while you live in THAT apartment with your boyfriend and I didn't have the guts to say anything about it. I would say all this on the phone, only I know I would chicken out. All of this that I went through and even though I handled it poorly, with no heart and treated you bad, more than once, I had a huge weight on my shoulder in dealing with your family, whom you know did not like me (even when I tried to be nice) and with all the bills and everything else. Not once did you try to help or hug me or take my hand and tell me everything would be ok. Not once did you say, ya know, here...this might help. ...and not once, did you truly give me your heart. Sure, you call me on Valentine's Day. Of all days, when you know my heart is just smashed and that is when you call. That evening I was walking around and thinking of all the couples that were together and then you call, when you have a boyfriend. You will say that it was to be nice and you are still my friend; but that day? None of that matters now though, does it? I did all I could for you and never asked that you do anything in return, other than give me your true love and ask you to marry me once. I did and I did and did not ask for thanks. It wasn't like I was going to get it anyway. Oh, and by the way, you're welcome.
  10. Okay, so. I’m bi. I’m 15, male and last year my mother got married and I had to move in with a stepbrother. And stepsister, but she’s in a different room, duh. Anyway, he’s a year older than me and a jock. Some of his friends/teammates the year before beat up a friend of mine, and I’m a freak at my school so when I had to room with him, so I was more worried about getting along than coming out to him. It’s turned out okay. He’s a human. We get along better than me and my stepfather. Anyway. I’ve been dating a guy and it’s going well. Eventually, he’s going to find out. We go to the same school and the only reason he desent already know is that this is a friend of mine and all us freaks are gay anyway /sarcasm. I really do thinik I should have told him last year and I do think he deserves to know since we have to live toghter but at the time I was worried about other things. Getting the * * * * kicked out of me for no reason. Now I know him pretty well but I shold have told him a long time ago. I’m not sure how he’s going to take it. But it’s not like I have a choice about rooming with him. Then there’s my stepfather, but thats another problem. I’m much much less worried about my stepbrother beating me up than my stepfather! He hates my guts anyway. At least my stepbrother and I get along. Anyway, any idea how I tell him? And how upset will he be? It’s weird but I’m more worried about telling him than my mom! She’ll be fine. Maybe not even surprised. My stepfather... hates me anyway, so no loss. (and the house belongs to her, so I’m pretty sure I’m not going anywhere...) But I really feel guilty about not telling my stepbrother earlier. Like before seeing him naked a few hundred times...
  11. my ex is dating someone else. I don't know for sure, but I finally talked to his roommate (a good friend of mine who I met my ex through) this past weekend. My ex's roommate and I were trying to plan to get together for a drink because he and I have not seen eachother since the ex and I broke up. One of the first things the roommate says to me is that " the ex wants to tell me hi and that he hopes my knee gets better." Although this is all good and nice. And obviously the ex wishes me well. I just didn't know how to respond. I actually didn't even want to hear this because it just made me feel uncomfortable and sad. Then the roommate invited me out Friday night and told me that the ex might be there. He asked me "if I was okay with the ex being at the same place." And I told him, "probably not because I still miss him and a. would feel sad if the ex acted differently toward me because we are no longer together and b. if the ex was there with another girl or hitting on another girl." I then told the roommate that "I might go but that he has to let me know if the ex would be there with another girl." The roommate then said to me "Yes Jane, I will let you know so that you have a heads up." (Aha...does this mean the ex is with another? Probably.) Needless to say, I didn't even call the roommate back that night. Of course I knew that by going it would torture me to see the ex. The roommate and I tried to make plans last night too, but they fell through. I do want to see the roommate because he is my friend, but at the same time I feel so sad again and don't know if I am ready to see him because it just reminds me of the ex. I try to tell myself that this is whole situation is "not about me." I try and tell myself that "just because people move on and date others, it doesn't mean that they are better than me." It just hurts so much to think that the ex is courting someone else. I hate that we run in the same circles. I wish I could just leave this place for a while and come back fresh when I am healed... I just can't stop crying...
  12. I have previously posted my horrible break up story last week...but a quick recap, my boyfriend of 3 years (he's 41, I'm 28 ) broke up with me on Valentine's Day over the phone during my lunch break. This was the second time, as the first he did it over i.m. last June and I took him back towards the end of July. Now, my roommate is a social worker..so she is all about getting your emotions out. So I wrote this letter basically telling him everything I was disappointed with and with him. It's a good letter as you never get a word in edgewise with him...cause he's always right and a complete and utter narcissist. So there is no way I have had the opportunity to say these things before. So, most of my males friends say NO!! Most of the girls...say yes. So I am at a crossroad... Do I send the letter or not?
  13. Does anyone ever get an apology letter from their dumper, or a phone call or anything apologizing for the awful way they treated you? Our 4 year relationship crumbled after she went into self destruct mode after kissing my roommate. She had an affair and left me after she was comfortable enough with him. She was the sweetest girl in the world, and the last several months stopped caring about me at all. The least she could do is send an apology letter, but I wasn't sure if people actually did that.
  14. I have been seeing someone on and off for the past year. I have never seen where he lives nor ever met his roommate, who is a woman. He always says...when you see my place, etc. and swears they are just friends. Today I called him and his roommate had recorded a new message saying I had reached the Jones (fictitous name). I was shocked and called back a second time to reconfirm but I didn't hear it wrong. It's another holiday so of course I won't see him today and he failed to tell me last night he had today off. In one year we've spent three holidays together, but he's cut out early on each one. He's refused to let me see his driver's license and I've never understood as I know where he lives, how old he is, and when I've called him at home there's never been an issue with his roommate passing the phone to him. I've believed him all this time. I cannot understand why I got that message this a.m., as neither one of them has that last name. Am I jumping to conclusions (about his being married?) Is there any other way to look at this? I already went to see my therapist this a.m. and told my therapist I needed to back away from this relationship, but I sure wasn't expecting that message this a.m. I am just numb and I wish I'd stay that way but I know I will not. I dread it when the numbness wears off and I plan to send him a letter tomorrow to end thingss and have no intention of ever answering the phone again (unless he leaves me a message he wants to come over and get his things). He has an explosive temper so a letter is the best way to go, I think. Any thoughts are welcome.
  15. My gf of 1 year and I seem to have a bit of an issue with sex On both our parts I guess it would be. I would very much like sex more often than we already have it (about once every two weeks) and it drives me crazy some times. I feel that I'm always the one trying to initiate and she just gently pushes my hand away. It makes me feel like a bother. She has roommates, and she says that she doesn't want us to get caught by them, so she refuses my attempts. This one time, after her roommates had gone for the week I of course took the time of solitude to try and initiate and, again, she kept batting my hands away from her. When they finally came home....she started to initiate herself, to which i responded in shock: "So you wait till they come home so you can start anything?" and she just quickly responded "Do I always have to initiate?" My jaw dropped and I just left the room. Granted I did come off a bit accusatory, but i couldn't hold it back anymore. She makes me feel so unwanted sometimes. I've been overweight my entire life (up until recently have i started working out and losing quite a bit of weight), so my confidence levels aren't as high as I'd like them to be. Just today, she came home, ready and willing to go. But as I was on top of her (prior to any nudity), she had her eyes closed. I couldn't help but think she was thinking of somebody else (since i've noticed that she always closes her eyes when we do have sex). Of course this put me off any mood, and I got semi-depressed. I would want to talk to her about this, but i can't help to think about the outcomes of me doing so would be. I feel she would feel more obliged than anything to have sex with me, and honestly, that would make me feel much worse than no sex. I'd like to get my confidence levels up, since i'm sure all that nonsense is just in my head (about her thinking about other people), but i just don't know how. I've tried talking to more girls lately, but I really feel like i'm doing her wrong in me doing that. I know I'm not, i just feel like i do. *sigh* I don't know what to do.
  16. Wasn't sure where to put this. I just got the chance to get on my roommates computer so I thought I'd give everyone an update. Well, I think I'm doing better. I'm getting use to this, that is living with a roommate and everything. Umm... I'm doing ok. Things can be hard at times, but it's not too bad My brothers already started going to therapy, they (brother's friends parents (guardians now)) said they really think the therapy will help and is starting to help. They said it's slow going with that. I'm not really sure how soon the therapy is suppose to help or see a lot of change with that. But I guess anything better is something. I was kind of thinking of looking into going to some kind of therapy as well. I'm not sure if it would help or if I would have the money for it, but I think it wouldn't hurt to at least look into it. Plus, I don't think I'm doing great on myself when it comes to dealing with everything. I just think maybe it would help, but I don't know. I think I've caught some kind of bug, I've been feeling really sick. I keep feeling like I'm going to vomit, but I don't and feeling dizzy. I don't know what it is, hopefully it goes away soon. Can't complain about it too much though, it's probably not much of anything So yeah, I'm doing ok.
  17. Hi guys, Could I have your opinion on something? Well, I live in a dorm with 3 other girls and there are two bedrooms so two girls have to share a bedroom. This is our second semester here and things have gone rather well with the occasional dramafest here and there. And you know how horrible girl drama can be. Well, there was a conflict last week on Thursday night in which two of my suitemates along with a lot of other people were getting drunk downstairs while my roommate and I were studying and doing work upstairs. One of my suitemates was sexually molested and reported that, while another one of my suitemates became so intoxicated that she had to be carried to the hospital in an ambulance. Another guy threw himself down the stairs, so basically the party turned into complete chaos. My roommate and I were the only sober ones in the entire dorm and once we saw how out of hand things started to get, we attempted to help. Once we realized that things were uncontrollably out of hand, we called security and got help. We were all going to be penalized equally for this because although we are all overage and our dorm is a dorm in which students CAN drink alcohol, one student was underage. We will be fined regardless of what happened. Well, my other suitemates are fine with this and were fine with this but I am not fine with this because I first off, have no money (AND my parents are in a very bad economical situation) and second off, I don't want such an event to go on my record. Which it did. I was a bit stressed out about that but I started getting over it until saturday morning when I overheard my roommate speaking to her mom on the phone about me in a negative manner and using a fake name in place of my name and with an emphasis on the "fake" name. SOOO OBVIOUS. Well, after that, I put on a random away message about hypocrites and went to take a shower. She seemed to have read my away message because when I got out of the shower, she was ignoring me. (This shows that she was obviously guilty). I was hurt by the comments my supposedly "friend" had made about me and began to isolate myself from everyone so that I wouldn't blow up on anyone. So, I would pretty much not talk to anyone much and just be relatively not animate when I spoke. I was soon getting over it when my parents and I got into an argument about their economical situation and about me basically having to "deal with it", so that realllly stressed me out, thus even more isolation. After that my roommates began asking me if I was ok and if I was upset with any of them and I would answer no, that I'm just stressed out. And one of them (a complete moron) said that if I didn't talk to her, she would take it as me being angry at her and I said that I told her why i'm upset and it's not because of her but if she wants to do that, then that's fine.
  18. I am a little drunken right now, but I am of right mind. I have mentioned before that I love my boyfriend so much and I do. But, I am upset a lot when I am by myself. I can't figure out if it is because of me or him. I was crying on the phone with my mom for an hour before. Basically, I I live with my best friend and I can't stand her. I know that is an oxymoron kinda. But, I am moving out for my last year of school (next year). I will be living with 3 complete strangers. When I lived with strangers over the summer when I took summer classes, it was better because they weren't filthy and they weren't mean to me like my roommate is. But, I felt so lonely. I secretly wanted to stay at Nick's house every night. he is my bf. He doesn't spend enough time with me. But, he doesn't have any other friends so I know he is just like that. But, what bothers me is that he says he loves me, but if he loved me than why can't I be with him a lot of the time?? Sure, he tries to make up for it by "asking" me to hangout with him during the week, but it is lies. He only says that because he knows I feel bad. It isn't because he really wants to do that. My mom has been smoking since she was 13 and she is 56 now. Every one in my family dies of lung cancer---at least 15 people have. I have no brothers or sisters. She will die soon. She also has REALLY REALLY bad arthritis to the point in which she can barely walk. She wil die soon. I am sooo scared. She loves me more than anything in the ENTIRE world and before she dies I need a replacement. I have no one other than her, my roommate, and my boyfriend. She also is handicapped. She has cerebral palsy. My father doesn't take care of her good and she is always lonely and she needs me. But, I stay here at school anyway for most of the time. I do this so I can be with Nick. I am a horrible daughter and I am scum. I hate how my boyfriend buys me stuff. It ignites such a rage in me. SPEND TIME WITH ME...I don't need your money. I took off from work tomorrow because we had plans to watch the superbowl and now he can't because he has soo much hw. He does though. He does. But, instead of saying I can chill with him while he does his hw and watch the game with him, he kept saying he wants to reemburse me for the money I will be losing. I DONT WANT MONEY. I DONT WANT MONEY. He refuses to talk about anything of substance either. And sometimes he acts as though I am not as smart as him. He denies this. We never fight. That isn't good. It shows we are both insecure and codependent. These are isolated examples though because normally he is very good to me and always is wonderful. He does see me a lot in retrospect. But, I am not satisfyed. WHY?? I am scared of losing him. I never tell him anything that bothers me. He says he wants to Marry me (but live with me beforehand) but we never talk about our difference. NEVER. I WANT TO. Why yyyyyy??? Why cant we do this?? We have been dating soo long now. 1.5 years. We are still not to the point in whcih we can fight openly. This sucks . And to top it off, I dont know anyone that is married and happy. WHAT IS THE USE??
  19. So I made a really stupid, ignorant comment at a Super Bowl party yesterday, and I need some advice on how to handle things now. One of my friends, I'll call her K (who I am working on building a friendship with again after my drinking hurt her repeatedly up until about a year ago) brought her boyfriend, his roommate and his roommate's boyfriend to the party. I've met K's boyfriend numerous times, and I met his roommate and bf (who happen to be gay) once, at K's birthday party a few weeks ago. I got along well with them, and it was really nice to see them again. Prince comes on for his halftime show, and he's wearing that crazy powder blue get-up...which people are commenting on. K, her bf and his two friends are sitting RIGHT by me and my bf, and without thinking, I just said "wow, that's pretty gay!" Now, I know there's no excuse for such a thoughtless comment, but it's one of those sayings I've picked up at work--people here call everything "gay" or "lame" if they think it's silly. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, though, I just wanted to take them back. I felt too self-conscious to even look over at them and say "oh God, sorry, that's not how I meant it!" or something. So I just sat there in silence. My friend, K, seemed a bit cold to me when she was leaving the party, even though we had been chatting a bit through the game, and now I'm wondering if these two very nice guys were offended by what I said. I wouldn't blame them. My question is, how do I apologize? What do I say? I don't want to stir up trouble, but I do want to make it known that I know what I said, and that I feel horrible about it, and didn't mean anything by it. I also don't want to be like that guy in "The Office" who tries to apologize for something and ends up offending people even more. Help, please!!
  20. I had just came from a meeting and i was left feeling like I wasted someone else's time. My roommate and I have been getting along for sometime. Her friends were over while my friend and I were working on a movie. They were very noisy singing songs 3:00 in the morning! I found it very inconsiderate at the fact that my friend and I were trying to get our work done and the ladies didn't notice that it was late and they were not outside but indoors @ night. I thought to myself, "The next time this happens I am going to tell the to 'LEAVE'!" However, as much as I thought of them as being rude I wasn't going to act like them. So I asked my RM after all of the company had left, "Does your company know when to leave?" She said she didn't know. I felt as if she didn't know how to control her company. I left the conversation at that and got back to work. Within seconds she was out like a log. I didn't finish until 7am. Because of me being tired I didn't go to class today. Later, I wanted to confront my RM but not the way I thought I should act, so I went to the RA to asked for help so that I wouldn't be so blunt in my actions. But I needed to drop off my notebook bag. As I was about to turn the key, i noticed the door was already unlocked. My RM was nowhere in the room. (come to find out she was doing laundry around the corner) My RM states that it is and INCONVIENCE to lock the door. ARE YOU SERIOUS? It was then that I went to the RA and explained my purpose for being there and the door issue. The meeting went like this: RA: (States everything I told her to my RM about her company.) My roommate claimed they were loud but that they did quiet down after I asked. This was true. But then I stated that they got loud again and this time they were singing out loud. I kept saying there was nothing wrong with that, but NOT AT 3AM!!!! The RA thought I was sleep during that time and I had to explain to her what my friend and I was working. We couldn't concentrate. I had asked if they could take their cd's and go to the lobby where there is more room. But because our room is so comfortable everyone migrates to this place (So says the RM). I had just found out that 3 out of the 4 girls that come to my room have no other RM's SO WHY DON'T THEY HANG OUT THERE! I'M THE ONE THAT IS BEING PENALIZED FROM THIS! My RM feels betrayed that I would go to the RA. But I explained to her what I was feeling and I felt that I should asked someone higher to help me with the situation. Yet when I went in there it was like, I was the bad guy. About the lock on the door. The RA just said just lock the door. Simple. To my RM and we had to explain to her why, AGAIN. I told her last semester about this! In the end, they still want me to talk more to my roommate. I didn't want to be blunt and just tell her friends to "Get Out!" due to frustration. I thought I was doing us a favor but instead... I ended up being the bad guy. We agreed to having company before 1am. Afterwards they should either quiet down, "YEAH RIGHT!" or go somewhere else (NOT GOING TO HAPPEN). She is locking the door. So that's a start. Other than that, I don't see there really being a change..... TO BE CONTINUED. Really.... do you think I did the right thing?
  21. Lately I've noticed that I really enjoy being alone. This year I've lived alone for the first time and I absolutely love it. I don't think I could ever have a roommate again except for my boyfriend. I feel like I have to force myself to be social because most of the time, I'd rather be in my apartment doing my own thing. I'll go out or have someone over and I find myself counting down to when I can go home. During lunch at my internship, I'm completely happy sitting at my desk reading while I eat or waiting until everyone else has eaten so I can go to the break room and be left alone. I love the people that I work with, but sometimes I just want to eat in peace I guess. The thing is, I was not like this at all before. I could be by myself and be fine but I was so social. I loved going out with my friends and was never in a rush to leave. I don't know if this is part of growing older or just a change within myself that has to do with where I am in my life. Has anyone else experienced this?
  22. I came accross an old friend on myspace, not sure if i should contact her. 10 years ago i was roommates with this girl , we had so much in common, we became great friends right away....lots of laughs, crys, hugs,, just good times. she started doing some annoying things like blow dry her hair at 7am while i was sleeping. When i asked her to use the bathroom she was very mad, etc.. Then inviting her friend over when no one was there. She was Greek and would talk in Greek all the time on the phone, i couldnt understand and found it offensive. Well to make a long story short she started being quiet around me and i had to tranfer schools.... The day i left she left me a note saying wishing me luck and at the end she asked if she can have back her cable cord she gave for the tv. I brought the tv for us which cost $200, i let her use it whenever she wanted. So i thought it was rude to ask me in a note for it back. Do you think I could have tried harder to patch things up? or am i just mistaken?
  23. Ok, I think I've come to terms with the fact that I will only be friends with the first girl I liked. Even so, a new girl has come into the picture. She came in on the decision that she wanted to date may roommate and met him through a friend. Well by association I came to know her. First as a friend, but now it has changed. I thought I had no chance I saw the two of them together and told myself I didn't have a chance. Well we've all known each other for about 2-2 1/2 weeks now and for a lil time of that she has started to change her mind of dating him. Tonight I was talking to her and we somehow got on that subject and I asked why she changed her mind and she said "Well, I've started to really get to know him and he is....weird. I want someone more laidback then that." Well I said, "Well I've got a suggestion, but meh." She said, "What is it?" I told her "Well, me." She said, "Nah, you are too laid back." I heard this and in my mind I was like WTH! that isn't possible. From there we just kept talking like usual. Other than what she said about changing her mind she has showed me more attention than anyone else in our group (besides my roommate of course). I took that as a sign of some kind of affection, apparently I am mistaken. This is sorta a half rant half question, but I was wondering if what she said killed any chance I have of getting together with her? God, the first girl was because I was too tall to dance with, now its because I am too laid back. Whats next? GAH!
  24. Not sure if this is the right place to be posting this but ... I found out a few days ago that my long term relationship was a complete lie. He was using crystal meth, picking up men on the internet and then having them come over (hosting as they call it) to his house while his roommates were at work. He's 35 and lives with his sister and her husband for free and he is having total strangers come over, have sex and use hard core drugs. Well, of course I dumped him and I am in shock but now I'm left with...do I tell someone? His sister could have her house taken away if there was a drug bust, these strangers could rob her blind, he needs to be found out about his crystal meth use etc. or do I just walk away quietly. Please help!
  25. Blech, this is embarrassing to talk about but I figure my friends at ENA could offer some advice. I've wrestled with acne for my entire life, and I'm finally starting to get it under control on my face using Proactiv, but I'm a little unsure how I can get things better on my back. I'm separated, I don't have a third arm, and there's not enough booze in the world to ask my roommate for assistance. Does anyone have some advice on how to reach those tricky spots on your back with a product like proactiv?
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