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Showing results for tags 'addiction'.
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So, to give some context. I am a 22M and my g.. ex is a 24F. We have been doing LDR for 1.5 years now and we were really happy with each other and were just about to move in together. In the beginning of our relationship, we both made a pinky promes (which in itself are really powerful, at least for us) that we would stop our addictions. I would stop Gambling and she would stop Smoking. Everything was going really well until just recently, where I had.. broken that promise. I got down bad with Gambling (Poker in this case) and lost a huge amount of money which could be spend in any other kind of way which would result better. And so, I decided to tell her the truth my being transparent and honest with her. I told her that I had broken the pinky and I don't know what will happen now. She got really frustrated, she partially told me she would maybe close an eye if it wasn't for as much money as I did lose (I'd like not to disclose that). So she decided to break up with me. She lost all respect she had left for me and trust aswell. She said she values herself and has self-respect and will not continue this relationship because I am unreliable and untrustworthy (I cannot deny that, what I did was very bad and I am aware of that). I asked if it would be possible to give me a one last chance to show and prove myself that I have finally quit. I had quit gambling 2 months ago and have blocked myself from all available Poker sites that exist. There is no way I can play again even if I wanted too (I tried and I couldn't, so it proves). But.. she doesn't seem to be interested in pursuing this relationship anymore. Considering she broke up with me by chatting it doesn't feel right.. I feel like there's more to say and perhaps talk about and try to vague or relationship a bit more since we were really happy with each other and managed for 1.5 years. She would have never noticed anything if I didn't tell her because the financial situation didn't change all too much.. it's just that I lost money. But I'm not here to write any excuses to what I did. I decided to go visit her by taking a plane since she lives in another country. This would happen in few days which would be 1 week after she broke up with me. And I would like to ask you guys what you think. Is it really a good idea to meet her up personally and talk things down to the bottom so both of us can get the perspectives we are seeing or just leave it at that? I still have some christmas gifts that I weren't able to give her from previous months, so there's still some unfinished things. I'd still like to gift her that in person. I really love this girl and I'd do anything to be with her. Not only was she my girlfriend but also my very bestfriend that I shared everything with.. It hurts a lot u_u
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Looking for advice but also needing to vent and let out some of the hurt. My bf and I are going on 3 years together, we're both 30. We haven't been truly intimate in almost a year. I'm open with him about how it hurts me and how I don't feel like he's still attracted to me even though he says he is. I try to initiate intimacy but it gets met with changing the subject, moving away from me, putting focus on something in the room like the TV or the dog, making jokes. I've lost track of how many times we've fought over it and I end up depressed, feeling worse while he makes empty promises that he'll make an effort to try more. But he never does. Then yesterday he told me he has a p**n addiction and he thinks it's easier to handle himself that way than to actually involve me in it. Ouch. I don't have an issue with him watching it, hell, I watch it, but my heart hurts that he would rather do that than to make an effort with me. And he didn't seem bothered to tell me. (I'd also like to point out that during past intimate moments I'm very involved so it's not like I'm asking for an arm or a leg). He tells me often that I'm his soul mate and he would do anything for me but this issue is still so prevalent and no action actually gets taken to work on it. It's like all the effort that gets put into avoiding it could be put into actually working on it...ugh. I hate to admit it but I consider cheating on him a lot, but I know that I just want the feeling of being wanted by someone and it wouldn't be anything of substance... but I really want that feeling again... Idk I feel like I'm losing it and wanting to throw in the towel. Intimacy isn't everything in a relationship and I understand that but it's one of the ways I enjoy connecting with my partner and I thought he did too and it wasn't an issue before. I know addiction isn't personal but I can't help but feel self conscious... is it my body? My hair? Do I smell bad? Is my conversation a turn off? Really does have me looking in the mirror different... thanks cardi. Any advice for this hurting person? Anyone been through something similar? 💔😔 -
As The wind howls and boughs creak I take your hand while you sleep. There is warmth and comfort there As dreams release you from despair. Then, as the cold grey light of dawn Reveals how far you have fallen Veins constrict and palor fades As you take on a different shade. Heart dispels all seeds of doubt, pumps a sickly blue throughout. Momentary delight, free from care Hands cold to touch for your’e not there.
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we've been together for nearly 2 yrs and unfortunately since 10 months he is no more the same person...i've break-up beacause of conflicts and now i really want to forget him...i'm as if addicted to him... today he just went away to South Africa for 10 days and i can't live a minute without thinking about him....HELP plz
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My husband and I have been together for 11 years. It has finally sunk in (duh) that he is seriously addicted to pornography. When we first started dating, I found some porn at his apartment & he rationalized: single, no girlfriend, etc. I'm not dumb, I know guys are visual, & though it bothered me a little, I let it go. Sadly, this behavior has continued throughout the last 8+ years of our marriage as well. I have regularly found magazines & videos stashed in various places - only once or twice by deliberately looking, otherwise, just by chance - flipping the mattress, packing for vacation, etc. In the past year or so, it seems to be getting worse, or he's getting more careless. I have found tokens to masturbate in a booth in a porn store, several movies, magazines, PC downloads. About a month ago, while packing for a weekend away I found more than a dozen videos & DVD's, each several hours long with multiple HARD CORE scenarios (more than 50 hours worth). I flew into an absolute rage. Although we have talked and argued about this in the past, I completely snapped & broke every last one of them. After things cooled, I finally convinced myself - after 11 years - that there was simply no point in getting so upset. He is going to do this and it's not a personal reflection on me. It used to make me feel ugly & un-sexy & pretty depressed. It finally dawned on me that I'm OK - a dean's list student who still fits in her wedding dress & get's flirted with by guys 10 years younger (blush...) & I just can't help it (& don't want to!) - I'll never be a video prostitute...sigh... Then on Sunday - five days ago, I noticed the DVD player was on. Since we don't own any DVD's & the kids can't access it, the conclusion was rational & he admitted that he had rented three DVD's. I shrugged it off & let it go... until yesterday. The machine was on again. He denied it, but again... only one conclusion. A few hours later, while looking for mortgage papers, I found ANOTHER video... this one given to him by his brother DAYS after the huge blow-up!!! I don't know how to feel or react to this anymore. It doesn't lessen his sex drive, but he constantly suggests things I know he only got from those movies. I no longer take it personally - I just can't or I'd cry myself sick, but this makes me feel so, I don't know... SAD, I guess, like I have a weight on my heart. I just don't know how to continue to feel the same about him for the next 30, 40, 50 years. I don't know if it's the dishonesty or the frequency or the completely disrespectful light women are portrayed in... I just don't know about anything anymore...
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We see the world with the language we are given Tell a child that the overgrown is a road of stone Stumbling, I flutter like a moth misinformed about a flame. Addiction to antipathy and repugnance to respect In similarity, astounding me as we fumble universally forthright towards neglect. No excuse! We avoid the call to arms in the eleventh hour procrastinating for no other reason than to teach ourselves to tell time in a digital age.
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All alone in the dark of the night. Wishing I had someone to hold me tight. Take away the cold with your warmth and touch. Is that asking way to much? What about asking for your love? Is it crazy to expect such? I gave myself to you. Expecting you to love me too. And then you used me. And the cycle continued, yet I was always to blind to see. No one is willing to love someone they call easy. No one ever bothered to look deep within, to see the beauty behind the skin. And before I knew it I was lost and alone. With sadness that was well known. I tried to take my life, to end the pain deep inside. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind. Then fate stepped in from behind. Saved me for a lover that was all mine. Now the darkness has turned to light. Happiness consumes me every day. Though my past is always here to stay. I am often rather insecure and scared. No one ever stayed, I don't want to be betrayed. So hear my cries and hear my pleas. Don't leave me, don't hurt me. I am loyal, I am true. And just to show you what I'd do. I'd even die and go to hell for you.
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I WANT TO ASK A VERY COMMON QUESTION. HOW MANY TIMES CAN I PLAY WITH MY SELF CAUSE MY NEED IS 18 TIMES PER WEEK.I REALLY BELIEVE THAT PROBABLY I HAVE AN ADDICTION WHICH TAKE A LOT OF MY ENERGY.LAST YEAR I PLAY ABOUT 720 TIMES.THIS YEAR THE MINIMUM IS 930 TIMES. IS THERE ANY PROBLEM WITH THAT.
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GOD Hey you home? I am waiting outside of your door? I would tear down the walls to understand your heart but it seems you've locked me out for a time.. thats fine with me I'll wait here all by myself I wont wait forever Hey is anyone home? Hey are my tears wasting here alone? I would tear down the walls to understand, the fears that live inside your heart Is anybody home? Am I wasting my time, did I pick the wrong door God, are you gonna open for me Are my tears wasting for you Are you living in the trees, are you living in the seas are you everywhere but here with me Is anybody home? Is god gonna let me in the door Hold my hand and guide me home I'll wait on the porch the futures in doubt. ------------------------------------ EXILE I'll alienate the world we see exile everything from view understand it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me I'll sit at the ocean drink in hand nursing an addiction to a promised land so lead me through the desert sands living on a diet on a steady blend I got an addiction to the way that I feel liquid courage in my veins, changing what appears I'm different, a confidant, I refuse to be weak maybe its wrong, but its what I think Except when I'm down and dreaming of you us sitting in a crystal booth speaking of love and forgotten muse oh I need this, to escape you Sitting at the bar, I take a drink forget who I am, change what I think believe not me for its what it takes I sit at the bar and I take a drink close my mind to what I think alienate the word with another buzz turn on the tv with the fuzz Relax and pretend everythings okay sitting here with nothing to say I turned off my soul with another drink
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you close my eyes nobody will know you'll seal them off and you'll guard the post your days are rough because their in your mind an addiction they've become Fueled by your desire time is infinite, when you think of them like a life-long purgatory you don't want to let go Want to punish, punish for feeling punish for liking, loving, living you walk to your room, a shell of a place Fragmented memories, yell out to your brain You shut it out, turn on the tv put your head in a book, avoiding memories you walk to the kitchen get a glass to drink you'll turn the tap and think of them their arms pressed around you your lips meet their neck passionate embrace you feel like that will never be replaced you start to suffocate you must escape, you rush to your car start the ignition out the driveway your veer your radios blasting you listen to the song I know this one you say, our favorite and you try to sing along Your stammer, your sob Your tears cascade down you cant escape, this cant disappear But they'll be a point when you start to heal all the memories will fade, and tear just be strong, and don't give way tomorrow will always be a little easier than today
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I think my ex had a porn addiction. He was constantly downloading porn, hada plasma, talked about porn etc. For me, during the relaionship it was fine because I considered it fantasy. As long as he never touched another woman I was happy. But towards the end of the relationship his character changed a bit. He would always make comments about women's appearance, talk about girls who got boob jobs etc. He started expecting me to buy more clothes, wear more makeup and told me I was "letting myself go". I have a full time job so I couldn't devote my whole life to looking good and frankly I wasn't interested in it (and told him as such). He kept going on about us having threesomes, sex with other couples etc which I told him I wasn't really into. I'm now thinking he had a porn addiction. He now wants to chase chicks and have sex with them like in his movies. Does anyone have any experience with porn addictions? What happens? Any advice?
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I am very hurt, disgusted and don't know what to do or where to turn. I borrowed my husband's laptop for a presentation about 2.5 yrs ago and found some pron sites on it. I exploded (I have an unpleasant past experience with a guy addicted to porn that my husband knows about). He couldn't deny, so we talked and he said it was because he was bored (not working at the time). 6 months ago, I was concerned about some things a neighbor's teenager said (they all came over for dinner and she wanted to chat with her friends online while the adults were talking). So I checked the computer, and it was loaded with visits to porn sites. I asked him, and he denied it, saying the teenage girl did it (right!). She's a 13 year old devout christian sweetheart. So, I added some "spy" software to his PC. He spends about 1hr per day at porn sites (and judging by the descriptions, not your best quality ones - though what would I know). My question is, what should I do? If I confront, I have to admit about the spy software (which we actually discussed the last time, so I'm okay with that) but he will still deny. The only difference now is that he will know that I will know, so he'll use a different computer. He's working now, so boredom is not the issue. The biggest problem is that we haven't had sex in a month, because this whole thing has turned me off him completely. Please help!
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My fiancé and I have been together for a little over 3 years. In the beginning of our relationship our sex life was fantastic. We literally had sex every night, sometimes several times. But now… things are so different. I’m lucky if we have sex once every 3 weeks or so. I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. He downloads a lot of porn and looks at a lot of dirty magazines and masturbates all the time. So I know his sex drive is there. But it seems like he’s more interested in having sex with himself than he is with me. I’ve tried spicing things up by wearing costumes, using toys, suggesting we do something in public… and it may work for a night… but after that he’s right back to not being interested again. It’s a big issue in our relationship because I’m a young woman who enjoys having sex… and I could probably get laid more if I were single than I do being in this relationship!! But I love him.. But I’m not satisfied. I do anything he asks me to do in the bedroom but he refuses to go down on me. (He’s never tried it before.. on any woman and for some reason won’t do it) Last night he was in the shower and I walked in to wash my hands and he was masturbating. I made a joke out of it and he said to me ‘Would you just give it a rest!’. This upset me and I replied ‘Oh so I’m not allowed to be upset by the fact you enjoy having sex with yourself more than you do with me’ and he said ‘frankly babe. I don’t care’ That hurt me A LOT. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if we can fix things because I seem to be the only one who’s doing anything to help. I’m sick of the porn and I’m sick of feeling unattractive. Does anyone have any suggestions? -
Is is possible to be addicted to masturbating? If so, how would one stop without seeing someone about it?
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I don't know which category to put this in so I hope someone has some advice. My sister is a meth addict and has been for some years now. We all just found out the extent of it a little over a year ago, after she had her 3rd child. She neglects her kids, she's always high, smokes it right in front of them, has crashed her car, fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion and her son got out of the house and accross the street... We have called social services and the police. She lives in a very small rural town and the poice said they are aware of her and her use but they need to catch her. Child services said they know it sucks, but they have to get word from the police dept before they go in. WHAT?!?! There are children in danger NOW. What is this whole, 'wait until something happens' crap? Anyway, she's pregnant AGAIN and about to destroy the life of yet another human. Is there anything we (her family) can do? Can we call the hospital where she will give birth and put them on alert? Have them test the baby for meth when its born? Just short of kidnapping her kids (which I've been adivsed against by social services) I don't know what to do for my poor little nieces and nephews. I care about my sister too but right now I'm focused on the kids. Anybody have any suggestions?
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Hi, well this may be a silly question, but i can't seem to go to bed without having an orgasm. I am a virgin, but i have "Mr. V" (my vibrator haha) but i use it once or twice a day, but definitely before i go to bed. Is this normal??? And also, when girls orgasm alot, does it make your skin really smooth and nice? I have noticed my skin has become so radiant and smooth ever since i have been giving myself orgasms. thanks for your help, i am praying someone can relate. ~mimi20
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At the stand of this love she is unfinished, an hour glass with sand still flowing. Suddenly shattered, tiny pieces of glass frightened and bleeding on the sheets, one lovers' beauty singing inside the other yet she can no longer answer though her mouth is hungry for the tongue that once flamed her into a dithering fool moaning, sighing, arching, doing anything needing to dissipate herself and her lover two parched nude bodies in flagrant lust. And one is quick to say that is all it is but she is a liar for there is more to us, there is this elusive unveiling, lifted with compassionate fingers, that won't be denied, a palpable thing wanting, needing our individual truths. Now the stronger lover is torn her lovers' body has become leaden she is too quiet no matter what she thinks, I will always creep upon her flesh anchor her to me without reserve but with a kind of love like that of an overturned vase, reckless spilling the scent of jasmine everywhere a gang of thorns and buds cool pain and hot pleasure, that becomes an addiction surging and sprouting. Washing her with myself, my being - I won't let her go. Not her wet kisses or her sleepy sighs, nor her murmuring love poems that make me feel desired and less alone. -
I don't cut anymore, I used to and still get urges to so this time instead of going into a downward spiral, I just wrote a poem about it. It really is an addiction just as real as alcoholism or substance addiction (I haven't cut in almost a year!) Some call it late night bathroom surgery Some call it making love to pain Ripping sleeves off old t-shirts And dancing broken in the rain Cracked skin, chapped lips All the scars the same Some call it harmless numbness I call it ending my own shame Keep a diary nearby to record your suffering Some use just a notebook I use my own apendeges Averted eyes and dirty looks Take the blade away, take the pen away Amber essense drifting down the hall Carpe Diem just one more endless day You know babe this is not your fault Hold my hand baby, hold my hand This endless addiction Is bringing me to shame This story is not a work of fiction It's my effing life Don't try to save me I can't even save myself Just run away and flee Just like everyone effing else
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Small smoked room, filled with toxic fumes. Trying to look past the irrationalizations which consumes. It's difficult to resolve the problems If the problems were caused by Us. I told you relationships were built solely on trust. But you were too afraid to take responsibility for your actions, That's why it's so hard not to find a new attraction. You knew what I wanted, and you exposed it with ease, Now you've lost your sanity, and I'm becoming difficult to please. You can call me a stoner or even an alcoholic, But you can't look at your own addictions, it seems a bit ironic. Don't think I didn't love you for a while once before, But now it's been lost, just to call you is a chore. Maybe when we're healthy, we can be together, But you must know that, right now, we just aren't good for each other. I'm sorry it had to happen without a warning sign, but for some reason lately, I don't want you to be mine.
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hey this is going to sound stupid, but i am wondering if it is possible to become addicted to nyquil. I started taking it a few months ago and now i am taking it several times every day and sometimes large doses of it. I used to just like the drowsiness it gave me but now if i don't take it i can't sleep and i feel nervous. I tend to use it to calm down, it really doesn't help me sleep anymore unless i take A LOT of it. I used to drink like constantly and i am worried about what this is doing to my liver. I have even had to skip classes (i am in college) because i am too drowsy to go and i fall asleep in class all the time. I tried to stop taking it but i feel like crap and i find by the afternoon i can't take it anymore and i have to take some to relax. Has anyone ever heard of some one becoming dependant physically and/or phsycologically to nyquil?? OH i forgot to add, when i take a lot of it i get bad chest pains, and i get chest pains also when i drink, excersise too much, smoke, and take stonger painkillers (percocet).
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hi I am person who needs some advise, addiction. Sexual addiction. I do not know when it started but it did. I am married but I cannot stop watching cyber porn or got to a brothel. I had different level of sex. After having sex I feel so guilty and get dejectd more. I had sex with shemales too, this is the part of my addiction. I have no other addiction like smoking or drinking. I really do not know what to do ? Now I am into crossdressing.I never do it but I seems to have obsessed with it. I have downloaded pictures of TGs and I was very close to suscrbing a place where I can dress up with others since my wife does not know about it. I come from good family and have a good job. I am not sure why I am like this, can somebody help me. Thanks
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my husband is addicted to a phone chat line, in addition to general chat it offers one on one access for private chat. Is it cheating? to have phone sex with someone you have entered into a relationship with on the phone? or with a total stranger you just started talking to? looking for opinions.
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PORN ADDICTED HUBBY! I'm new to this site, and stumbled upon it while seeking advice on the same situation as original poster. I might have well written her post!!! It's been going on for four years - started about a year into the relationship, although I knew he had an "impressive" collection of videos and DVDs - I never guessed just how impressive. At first, I would participate - but when it became a ritual every time we were intimate, I became a little scared, and when I brought the subject up and spoke of how uncomfortable I was.... I was accused of being controlling. Some time later, I discovered that the collection was being added to behind my back, to the tune of a lot of money. Again I was being controlling - trying to censor an adult - I was a - I was a prude - and of course I must have some deep seated hatred of sex. These were the things I had thrown at me, when in fact none of them could be further from the truth. Right now - I am at the point where my marriage is at stake and teetering on the brink of destruction...... and he can not see it. Recently I found some DVDs tucked away - and when I asked about them I was told they were old, when in fact the release date on them clearly stated they are only a couple of months old - two years after I had been promised it would stop, and I trusted the promise, and then I was lied to - again! The trust between us is shattered. My self esteem is totally shot, and I feel completely undesireable as a woman, because he shows no desire for me. Obviously the sexual gratification he gets from pornography, far outweighs what he gets from me. It is such a shame we had such a good thing going both mentally and physically for a while, and it has been destroyed by his unwillingness to admit to this addiction and get some help for it. Now he has to decide - I've given him the choice - and I am so afraid of what he will decide. I may be needing a lot of support in the coming days folks!!! Please - no religious thoughts on this one, Okay?
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The pain spirals slowly upward Toward the ceiling As the day fades to grey Pictures on the wall portray The shallow friendships and rock star crushes While your cd plays in the next room Your clothes are folded, lifeless in the chair And the smell of you clings to my sheets The weight of the day without you Unbearable to the point of breaking The smell of drugs And alcohol Cigarettes and The stench of addiction I'm better than this When I'm with you But you're not here And their hands are wandering Despite everything I've said They don't care These words mean nothing On and on until it's finally through I'm a dirty reflection in a mirror Tear stained face Naked and broken and bruised I can't stop the sobs My hands are shaking... *I don't know how to finish this poem. I can't think of an ending. I wanted it to end on a hopeful note, but then the seconds half of the poem came in my head and the hopeful note is shot.* -E.
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Here Are 10 Strategies That Never Work – Yet People Always Try 1. The first is to give her reassurance. “I’ve changed. I won’t be controlling anymore. I won’t lie to you anymore. I won’t have another affair,” and so forth. The efforts to give her reassurance. This almost never works. 2. The second strategy is to tell her over and over again, “I love you.” That never works. 3. Third is the use of prayer and hope, which is basically wishful thinking. Robert Ringer talks about wishful thinking in his book Winning Through Intimidation. He was in big commercial real estate, barely getting by financially. And then he discovered he was doing wishful thinking, so he switched over to doing reality thinking. In less than one year, he made over $800,000 in brokerage fees. 4. The fourth strategy is arguing, reasoning, trying to talk her into feeling different or doing different. That never works. 5. The fifth strategy is recruiting others, trying to get others to side with us. That always boomerangs. 6. Acting depressed. Now, sometimes that might work temporarily through getting her to feel guilty or afraid of what we’re going to do. But it increases her motivation to get away from us. I had a man who attempted suicide twice before he heard about me and called me. He ended up in the hospital. I don’t even think she went to the hospital. But they’re back together and happy now. His acting depressed didn’t help very much. 7. Using the kids. That’s kind of like recruiting others. That always boomerangs. 8. Blaming and using moral pressure. One psychologist says, “The essense of mental disturbance can be put in one word: blaming.” Never works. It works negatively. 9. Pessimism. We become addicted to our pessimism. “I know I can’t win. You don’t know my wife. She’s very stubborn. She never changes her mind.” I say, “Never? About anything?” “Well, maybe about minor things, but not things this important.” I said, “Well, I think it’s about something this important is precisely what she has changed her mind about. She originally said she was going to stay with you and love you forever. And now, she can’t stand you. So obviously, she’s changed her mind. So obviously, she does change her mind.” But people fall in love with pessimism. That’s one of the strategies. 10. Exaggeration. One psychologist says, “The essense of mental disturbance can be put in one word: blaming.” I say the essense of mental disturbance can be put in one word: exaggerating. We exaggerate the good, and we exaggerate the bad. All of these strategies are very human. This list almost exhausts the strategies that people use. These strategies always backfire. Now, how are we going to win against the competition of other people and her negative feelings and our addiction to these strategies and our addiction to self-pity?
