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To get some things out of the way first • I am an low maintenance autistic who is very bad at social cues, my girlfriend is aware of this. • I recently had a death in my family, and I was very close with this family member so I'm grief-stricken right now as well, basically I'm not at my best right now, emotionally. • While this isn't my first relationship (Neither is it my first long distance relationship) It is my first relationship where I am trying to be intimate with someone. Such as holding hands, cuddling, ect. • My GF has some sexual related trauma so I'm very careful on not crossing her boundaries are I still am new to these things and don't want to do anything wrong • My GF also recently has gotten away from her extremely toxic family and her abuser Me and My Girlfriend have started dating fairly recently. We we're online best friends for nearly 6 years now and now we are moving into this new relationship. We also recently had our first meetup a few months ago and while I, of course expected it to be a wee awkward since it'd be the first time we are spending time together in person, I had a very good time with her myself. This weekend after our 2nd meet up, (I went to her city) She revealed to me that everything just felt off and our second meet up was her chance to "gauge" how everything was between us. She then said she did not think I was ever excited to see her, or that she didn't think I initiated enough with her, and how I seem like "a different person" She then mentioned how she felt like this on our first meet up, which threw me off and I questioned her as to why she hadn't mentioned it then so we could have resolved whatever this was. Since it's been months that means she's been sitting on it and I do not like that sort of thing. We've always been direct as friends as well which is why it threw me off her not speaking up immediately. She then said it was because she was so used to her family telling her she was making things up in her head whenever she brought something up and she thought she was just imagining things so she waited until now to say something after she had made sure. I understood where she was coming from but was still upset she let it fester this long to say something. She then mentioned that I am often on the phone when I am with her. (As in phone calls) I told her that if my family members call me, I am going to answer. Especially because of the recent loss we have experienced. I didn't think it would be a problem to talk with my family while I was with her (as these are the only people calling me or that I talked to during our time together) She also mentioned during the first time we met and our 2nd meet up. How she was raring to hug me and it just seemed like I did not want to hug her. This is a fault of mine, I am not a hugging person, and both times I was trying to get her bags in the vehicle first, and mine out the second time. Even though I'm not a running to hug person I DID hug her after the bags were in/out of the vehicle. I told her that I AM excited to see her and that I'm sorry my first priority isn't to hug her when getting out of a vehicle. Once again. A fault of mine, I was raised to get your bags first and do the rest after you've settled that. I also told her that about the initiative thing, I do hold her hand, I do kiss her on the cheek and forehear and when we go to sleep together I asked her to intertwine her legs with mine. As I'm not sure cuddling is okay yet, especially since the first time I tried to do it she threw me off saying it was hot (She gets hot very easily) She on the other hand does not try to hold my hand or do any other thing besides hug me and this is fine. I have no problem with this as I assumed we were taking things slowly. I informed her that I didn't think things were going to be "instant" or "immediate" and I didn't sense that awkwardness she said she felt especially at our 2nd meeting because I am comfortable around her and I wasn't rushing things because frankly, she's the person I want to be with, I didn't think there was a need to rush things as I am not going anywhere anytime soon and I didn't think she had any plans too either. I told her I'd do better at the intimacy thing but she'd have to give me time because once again this is my first time doing all of this with anyone. What I am frustrated at is that I think she had these expectations of me anf then disappointed herself when I did not meet said expectations. I had a very good time both times we saw each other and I am always so happy and excited to see her even when it doesn't show on my face. (I always countdown the weeks and days before we see each other, once again. She knows this) which is why I'm thinking she just had this version of me in her head I did not live up to. It's frustrating because I feel as if it's my fault she didn't have a good time with me but how was I supposed to know if she did not communicate to me in the moment and did it so last minute after we were no longer together in person. Please tell me what I should to be a better partner to her like this, I'm still unsure how do this relationship thing.

I've been single for YEARS by choice, randomly bumped a guy i went to school with at the beginning of this year and got along really well, and started dating. Its been going really well. He's the most wonderful man and has met my son, and they get on very well. However, I recently had a revalation - I'm a lesbian. I've always thought I was bisexual but a number of things have been light bulb moments for me (I won't lie, tiktok has helped me realise this too!) But how on earth am I going to break this man's heart? He says he's very much in love with me and sees a future with me - I know it's only been 8 months and we don't live together or anything, so in terms of logistics it'll be easy but the last thing I want to do is hurt this lovely man. Any advice on how I'm going to do this and what I can say to lessen the blow? Pretty sure he won't see this coming, but I have been avoiding him a little over the last week or so just because I don't want to be fake but also have no clue what to do/say 😔

Me & my ex was together for 3 years , during that time it was perfect in the beginning but I'm ngl I had a pill habit & when I tried to go into a year long rehab the first time she just switched up on me.i left after 3 days & she wasn't happy to see me she was drunk out all night acting different.she treated me like SH*T!! She would tell me she loves me & love balm me but then disappear for weeks barely text back then come back home love balm me again sleep, eat ,get treated like a princess then do the same thing all over again.long story short she ended up pregnant. convinced me to be around & accept the baby, the baby was born still born(dead).She was never the same.Then on new years she just went out and started her bull crap again.tellin me she loves me lying about her wear abouts getting drunk all day being in guys cars & being half naked twerking on social media she's a real exotic looking girl so she gets ALOT of attention. She would always play w/ my head while I'm sitting at home crying in the dark watching every single thing she post online, she would post about guys & then tell me to my face she posted it "just to post it" or "to get me mad" & I was the only person she loves she just needed space . I finally went into rehab to get myself together ,promised I wouldnt talk to her ever again & didn't tell her anything just disappeared..she started harassing my family & they would tell me whenever I called home.i finally called her to tell her I'm fine and to leave me alone & she said how torn she was without me.she started sending me money & saying how she's happy for me & wants to be together when I get out.i knew it was a bad idea & she wouldn't change. When I got out she was acting so perfect & trying to be home everyday but I knew it was an act & it was probably because she was all burned out from drinking & wanted someone to provide for her and take care of her like a princess until she's ready to hit the streets again. So I left after 2 days and she was blowing me up saying she cooked something special for me & etc I just ignored it.we start talking again & she says she doesn't speak to anyone but has a stalker she slept w once & he stalks her everywhere she goes. We would stay in a hotel for 2/3 weeks then she would disappear but i wouldn't care because I was focusing on myself even tho apart of me was hurt that she didn't want to be committed even after I got clean. So we kept seeing eachother off & on.then one day I go to pick her up & as she's walking to the car saying "babeeee" a guy pops out from behind a car and says"babe? Oh yeah b*tch" ,so I'm thinking this must be the stalker.. he starts chasing my car and I'm laughing at him then he goes to smack her & attack her..they walk off & go upstairs to her sister house. I stick around to make sure everything's ok.i see him walking & I'm like "ur that crazy after just f*ckin one time d*mn" & he replies "one time? I'm w that b*tch everyday she's pregnant w/ my baby right now" so I'm like ***.. he gets in my car and saying drive I'm like no ,so he can attack me plus he was staring at my chain..so she comes down w/ her sister and she's like get out my n*ggas car and the police show up.i said ur pregnant? & She says no I lied to get abortion money from him. Her sister is like"this is her baby father" to the police and she was confused to see me.i told her don't lock him up & we left. she stayed w me and was saying she loves me & he means nothing. & She's not pregnant.long story short I found her texting him & wrote him, he sent me baby shower invites & videos of them together showing her belly happy to be together. I showed her and said u lied? She goes "that's none of your business if I'm pregnant leave me tf alone". So I left after a big fight. She starts constantly texting me everyday saying she made a mistake I'm the love of her life & she will get an abortion.she did.i still didnt talk to her for weeks.finally I started back talking to her & everything seemed fine.he writes me and says are u with her because she disappeared on him, I said yes ya been talking again? He says yes she was with me all these weeks. So we break up again.long story short we get back together and she says she pregnant BUT THE BABY ISNT HIS and I get mad and she immediately starts texting him. At the same time I'm texting him because he's trying to befriend me, & telling him how I'm mad at her & leaving our home for good packing my things & he's like "yea I haven't been talking to her & I'm arguing with my ex so I'm going to bring my other b*tch to her job to get her mad" .. I get off work the next day and she's gone , moving weird not texting me, whole time she's texting him & I find out months later she was the girl he was bringing to his ex's job & was using me to find out if me & her was on good terms. So he kept trying to hang out with me, so we finally hung out , he was saying how he doesn't care for her he only uses her for sex and money but the entire time he kept checking her Instagram & posting with other girls to get her mad, also we were staying at her sister house. We started comparing our messages with her and saw she would tell us both the same thing at the same times & when she would disappear on both of us she was going to the other one. Me and her finally spoke on the phone and I some how told her what me & him was up too & she was FURIOUS.She started arguing with me him and his sister and was telling him how she wants to be with me and doesn't want him & the baby isn't his & etc. So we start talking AGAIN(WHILE SHES PREGNANT) & she's telling me it isn't his.but the whole time we together she seems off like she really wanted him & now she's pregnant she wants to be w him & is confused. So he stops talking to me I guess getting mad she keeps coming back to me and tired of me.she starts moving weird and saying she has an appointment and she'll be back even tho she said she wanted me to go w her the day before. She starts ignoring me and showing him so much attention on social media "I love my baby father he's so sexy I'm so obsessed" I tell her I knew she was with him and she blocks me everywhere telling him she only told me he isn't the dad to keep me around because I treat her nice and he treats her bad.i accepted the fact they started a new life. After around 2 months she starts texting me saying she made a mistake writing paragraphs but I would never answer.i would check her TikTok from an unblocked page I had and she would be crying saying he's treating her bad and sleeps with other women kept going back to his ex that he calls his wife and is disrespecting her while pregnant. He got evicted out of his house & they were no longer living together. Around 6 months later she calls me crying saying he's been beating her and cheating and punched her in the stomach trying to kill the baby. Stays with me for 2 months, trying to find apartments with me planning a future tells me he doesn't want me around the baby he hates me and he said he treated her this way while pregnant because all the stuff she did to him with me ,& really likes her in the beginning & could never trust her again.i get into her face book and see she's been telling him she hasn't been talking to anyone he's making sure she hasn't been with me saying they love eachother planning to go down south with his family and raise the baby and basically they can't be together because they have no house to be in. she changes her password so I know she knows I saw it.i hide this info from her still and go to Atlanta while she babysits my house.while in atlanta I tell her what I saw and she says she talks to him that way to keep him calm so he doesn't flip out , and I texted him telling him everything & how his child will be safe with me plus how she is still saying he isn't the dad and he was acting like he hates me saying "I'm her baby father we're stuck for life give it a rest she will always come back to me" & how he left his wife alone so he can focus on his child and she can't have a reason to keep him from his kid & he doesn't want me around the baby & it's always drama. So I knew I can never be an adult with him and talk to him again.she screams at me thru text and writes a paragraph as if she was going to screenshot it to him saying I'm trying to ruin their family and etc & then began being nice to me again.they kept arguing. Finally the baby was born and even tho she said he wouldn't be in the room he was there and she was treating me so different texting extremely late, said she would facetime me the entire time but wouldn't answer my calls,but was still planning a future with me sending me photos of rings even tho she would answer like once a day. So I started replying back hours later and she gets mad & says" ur mad he's here to watch his baby born Idk what to tell u or u can just leave me alone I don't need this I'm in labor & etc, I told her I will drop her cat off to Her dad and we never spoke again. I wrote her about 10 days later asking her why did she sign me out of her Hulu account i paid for and she said she didn't with attitude. I knew she was around him..So I said "are u mad at me? She says no I just didn't like what u did by writing him blah blah that's how I knew he got into her head and she was with him I just didn't know how they were together if he was homeless and her mom doesn't let any guys in the house EVER. AND then she starts telling me she wants to see me and a bunch of bull crap & she's Going thru post partum. Then I write her "are u feeling better?" She never answers .. so I said I will leave u alone for good, goodbye & she says please don't it's not me , so she says if I choose u will u accept my baby n etc & I say why are u asking this? Because you've been thinking who to chose she says yes because I see he's getting serious now that the baby is here and everytime I think of my future I think of us and when u text me about Hulu I got the old feelings back and he saw u text me and got mad & said he has his ex wife blocked and I'm still texting u and she told him well I didn't tell u block her and he says it's the principal and started treating her mean.he saw her texting me again and said I'm going to text my ex now and she said she would have a talk w him & they agreed they would both go back to their ex's. Now the next day she's leaving to come to my house & he pops out of nowhere and says"where tf u think u taking my daughter" and when she tried to stop him he says let her go before I punch u in the face b*tch & she didn't want to squeeze a 2 week old baby hard so she let the baby go. I knew it was something because she wasn't respond .she was chasing him in the street while he's holding the baby and she's pushing the stroller I said he wants her so bad let him take her and u come and she was HYSTERICAL, CRYING SAYING IDK WHERE MY BABY IS IM SCARED.. AND Im like if u was that scared u would've called the police .. and she was telling me how he's getting serious and saying she can sleep w random men but can't talk to me and I'm like that's because he knows u love me and wants to control u .if u get serious with anyone else he will do the same thing. So he sent a photo saying he left the baby in the streets and to find her and was screaming on the phone she cannot be with me and shes like but why i thought u was going back to ur ex and he said because it's always drama and whenever ya argue she text me and I don't want her texting me. I said that's a lie hes afraid to say he wants u to himself first it was he doesn't want me around the baby now the baby isn't around and it's still a problem. So he's saying he left the baby in the precinct then he has a girl answer his phone taunting her saying the baby in the precinct .so she starts telling him she loves him and doesn't want to fight "just to find out where he is" she's telling me how this is crazy and she will never talk to him again. I tell her just go home and wait for him & she said when he brings her she will have the police escort her to a taxi to my house,telling me she wants to get married and loves me and planning so much stuff with me. He brings the baby the next morning.she says" ok we're going to custody court on Monday we worked out an agreement & he's going to stay here for a couple hours w the baby" I said he just had the baby *** why does he need to stay & I thought ur dad doesn't let anyone spend the night she's like " what's the problem he wants to spend time with his child I'm not doing this with u" & I leave her there.. I tried calling her she kept declining it then turned her phone off , then I started calling back to back she blocks me then had answered it but had it on mute so i know he told her to answer it and see who is calling her.then had him answer the phone so I had my brother get on & she's like why are u doing this I know it's u stop calling me I'm spending time with my baby leave me alone. I was angry so I called her back to back private just to annoy her & she Kept turning her phone off. She lied and said he can't spend the night but he's been there all these days ,she disrespected me & talked about me Infront of him making it seem like I don't want him around his kid to stroke his ego & I know she's talking so bad about me trying to make me seem delusional and she doesn't want me. I stopped calling yesterday and will let her be.but I know for a fact she will soon contact me and try to say she wanted to keep him calm so he doesn't flip out or try to kidnap her kid again. I have no idea what to do.the plan was for her to runaway to my house since he doesn't know where i live then go to custody court but i was afraid he would get the baby and then taunt her.hes always pretending he doesn't love her and only around her for the baby and he loves his ex but I know that he loves her and it's all a front and he wants her to himself especially since the baby is here and he's so In love but I feel like it's a tactic to have somewhere to stay & to be able to control her every move now that he has a kid with her. Its SOOO STRESSFULL, I Can't get anything done,everyone around me tells me to leave her but I just can't..I find no interest in anyone else Im just so attached to her & she started a new life .I can go a couple weeks without talking to her but I will think of her every minute ,over thinking about what their doing hows their life going ,how they will end up, I literally be spaced out thinking.its so draining and depressing ,i know i should leave but it's hard when she keeps coming back.and I have a feeling this time she won't come back because she finally got the baby she always wanted and he gave it to her & he's finally acting like a boyfriend even tho they always say"they're not in a relationship" that's a tactic she uses "if we don't sit down and say we in a relationship then we not" & I always tell her but u move and act like ur in a relationship with people and get mad when they get mad at u for cheating. She says she knows she can't be faithful to him and everytime she looks at him she thinks of how he treated her while pregnant.but I know she only tells me the bad and not the good.iknow she wants to be with him but doesn't want to let me go and at this point I might share her but I know he will never allow that smh..I've read up on narcissist & I swear she's one..im a lesbian btw😔

Hi all, I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable here. Apologies this is long and may not make sense! I am 30 she is 29. My partner of 8 years (married for 1) are in the middle of a bit of an argument. It's been building up with me for weeks (possibly longer but the last few weeks have just got to me). Back story: she met a new colleague at her job about 1 year ago. They become quick friends (friend A) and through this friend she met a couple of other friends (friends B and C). Great. The majority of our relationship up until that her social life was with me and my family/friends and occasionally a childhood friend when they were both free so new friends could only be a good thing. About a month after this she was invited on a night out with them. This involved her staying at Friend A's house as she would be drinking and a taxi home would be extortionate. I wont lie and say I didnt find it a bit odd but that's mainly because it was new but that was a me problem that I got over these occurrences range between fortnightly and monthly and cuppa etc through the week and after work. She will sometimes ask my permission... I'm not her keeper and I say as much. You dont need permission to live your life. Shes very stressed lately with work. So let's say the last few weeks however was quite frequent before.. 70% of her energy has been in work. The remaining 30%... friends. Shes to exhausted to watch a simple film with me because its "to hard to focus" but it's not to exhausting to meet up with friends drinking etc. But again I let it lie. It's not for me to tell her what to do. I gave up making suggestions. Another example being her mentioning that her friend had messaged wanting to go to a beer garden and how it made her really fancy a pint. I said.. well we can get sorted and go to a beer garden if you want? She swiftly lost interest. Last weekend she came home the morning after a night out and mentioned shed had a smoke (weed) with friend A and B after the night out. Ok. She smoked it in the past so have I. I havent touched it in easily 7 years now (it triggered panic attacks) and she stopped maybe 4 years ago.. just outgrew it I guess. Neither of us have a negative opinion of it we just personally dont. Anyways she said about having one with them and I just laughed and asked how it was etc and that was that. She then mentioned that Friend B invited her round one night to to play computer games and smoke. I ignored it and pretended I didnt hear. She brought it up again last night at a family bbq and I said Ok go for it. she then mentioned about going to Friend As one day over the weekend as shes just returned from holiday. Then she asked if I wanted t go on a date night with her. I said yes. Friday or Saturday. Her response "I have to see when Friend B wants us to do the game and smoke night before we decide which day". We went home shortly after and she kept asking what was wrong. I explained very clearly, the plan with Friend B to have a smoke and games at his flat makes me uncomfortable. I'm not going to tell you you cant because that is not my decision but it makes me uncomfortable. If it was for drinks I'd understand a little more but weed which shes had zero interest in, in 4 years with friends who iv never met or had a conversation with? That was just to weird for me. Anyways what come of it. I told her how that situation made me uncomfortable but it was her choice. I told her that I was sick of not being worth any energy to spend time with. I was sick of hearing the same 3 names over and over again. She responded that I was completely disinterested when she brought up date night to which I responded because I was an afterthought. Because your friends got first dibs on your time and I get what's left. Iv explained that right now I feel really insecure in myself and our relationship. This is not a feeling iv ever had about myself. She thinks I want her to stop going out with her friends.. if explained that's not it. P.S cheating is not a concern of mine. Of all my thoughts this hasnt crossed my mind. Thank you

I've identified as bisexual since I was 12 and now im starting to question my sexuality more than ever. We have only been together for a month and he knows im bisexual (im pretty open about it) so I think there won't be an enormous amount of backlash. I told my friend (straight) about the situation and he said that he's very dissapointed in me since im basically leading him on and frankly that's the truth and I believe that I am the bad guy in this situation. I've been stressing out on how to break the news to my boyfriend for over 2-3 weeks.

! : English is not my primary language. Some texts that i write here are copied from another person that express exactly how i feel but in a better way that i could write myself. I am a bi guy and I get these feelings of jealousy with regard to lesbians. So much that nowadays I don't even watch movies or tv shows with lesbian characters. I don't have the feelings when it comes to gay men. For example in the show "Arcane", i really enjoy it, is great, i like the character of Vi and the one of Caitlyn and they are cute together but, I wouldn't call them intense feelings, I just feel a bit uncomfortable and jealous. Is this a form of homophobia ? How can i work on it ? Other informations : - I think i'm okay with my actual gender - It is not particulary from that show but in all show, note that i have no female who is in a lesbian relationship actually - I have a lesbian friend and i never have this kind of feelings towards her

Ok, I'm just curious about something and wanted a guys opinion? Why are guys so obsessed with lesbians or two girls kissing etc? I mean I know it's a huge turn on for most of them but I don't get why?

i fingered my cousin who is 2 years older than me and i want to do it again but i dont know what she would say/do. what type of person am i? I know there are bi gay and lesbians but i dont know what group i fall under. thanks for ur time

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We;ve been friends for about three years Last summer she asked me what I would think about her doing something of a physical nature with her best friend, who is bisexual it seems. I told her hypothetically it was a hot concept but in actuality it would probably really upset me. When discussed it was made clear that if they were to do something, itd be just the two of them. I'm not all that comfortable with watchign two people go at it anyway. So basically we agreed that it wasn't a good idea. Case closed. Fast forward to this summer. I live in a city and she's working in the city but lives outside of it. TO cut costs shes been staying with friends...me mostly. But she stays the night with her best friend and apparently after alcohol and a little pot...stuff happened. As far as I know they made out and she doesnt remember if anything else happened after that. I mean I know in most situations like this would just be experimenting, but she's been with women before...nothing major, but we weren't dating. I don't mind, it's her life. At first glance it doesnt seem so bad and that's what I keep telling myself. But...she lied abou it. She didnt tell me at first...we had an early breakfast the next day. I jokingly said "You called me so early i thought you cheated on me or something" and she laughed it off. When i asked her what they did the night before, I got a total "yadda yadda" That weekend she behaved very strangely, calling me in tears and refusing to explain why...using the standard problems she had as a cover. The next monday I finally asked her point blank if she had done something and she denied it like crazy. She acted like it was a joke at first and then flat out lied to me. And she was a very convincing liar, as by the end she asked me "Look in my eyees. Do you believe me?" And I smiled and said yes. And after a few minutes she said she felt sick and finally came clean. We had a rough few days...I got equally drunlk and nearly made out with a girl but I held back...didn't feel right. So now we're still together and I feel so pathetic...it's been nearly 2 months and I can't get over it. I mean, it is my first cheated on scenario. And also...she's very apologetic and remorseful, but simultaneously, she seems to dodge total responsibility, blaming the alcohol and other substances. Also she lied to me so well and seemingly so easily...It's tough when you feel like you can't trust your best friend. She always used to try to make me jealous, like one of those stupid mind games couiples play, and now she's back at it and it doesn't seem remotely funny anymore. Or appropriate when she calls hanging out with the best friend a "hot date" Part of me feels like I'm overreacting, the other feels like I'm letting myself be pushed around. I just want to get over this...I want to scream out at the top of my lungs but I don't know what I want to say. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with her being attracted to women...she doesn't really show any attraction to men, only women and me...sometimes I think she might be a lesbian. If she were, I'd support her. But I'm worried I'm putting myself in a bad situation.

lol, I feel really weird asking this question but I need to know...since I do want to have a fulfilling sex life someday. Can gay men and women have powerful orgasms? When I was 18 I had sex with a girl. To make a long story short it sucked. I kept having to imagine myself being with a man to have any kind of arousal(which is why I still consider myself a virgin. That time did not count). So, since I know I could not be sexually compatible with a woman I need to know whether or not you can still have orgasms sans vaginal penetration? Like with masterbation and nocturnal emissions(wet dreams) you get a great sensation of relief, pleasure, and relaxtion. But I wonder since gays and lesbians don't have sex in the "traditional" way, can you still get full on intense sensation? Do you have to practice at having gay sex to achieve orgasm? I've made out, heavily, with a guy before but we didn't go all the way(like masterbating or anal sex) or anything. But I could already tell I liked it way more than with a female. I am thinking of ordering manuals for gay sex off the net because I only know so much. I've seen gay and lesbian couples that look sexually fulfilled, and I just wonder how it goes...Because I do want to have an orgasm, even though I can't really achieve it with a woman. Foxlocke

hey ppl sorry i this is going to be really short or if its really long but my g/f(im a lesbian) of 2 and a half years just broke up with me the day before valentines day and i am having a hard time handling it becuase she broke up with me because she wants to be with a guy and it hurts really bad because she is supposedly lesbian to so i dont know what to do anymore i have ended up in the hospital twice so if that means anything to you if you could help me out by giving me some advice on how to kinda get over it it would be greatly appreciated:sad: :splat:

Let me start by saying I adore women. I have always been attracted to women. I love everything about them. I am and have been out as a lesbian since I was 17. That's what makes what happened so weird... I work with a man that I became friends with. He is about 10 years older than me. We would go out and have drinks sometimes. We had a lot in common, we both liked talking about girls. I never considered hooking up with him, but there was always a "spark" between us, even though he new I was a lesbian. There was something about him I could not get over. He's married w/kids. We talked a lot about his marriage. He is in a marriage that is friendly, but not loving. They stay together for the kids, are polite to eachother, but are not in love, don't have sex, etc. He genuinely cares for her, but he seems very lonely. He is caring, funny, smart, honest, handsome, and very open minded. Well, we had been drinking a bit one evening and we ended up having sex. I was the aggressor. He was the most amazing person I had ever been around. I was the most mind blowing, sensual, experience I have ever had. I have never had an orgasm like this before. I have orgasmed with girls, but this was multiple orgasms that left me shaky for 20 - 40 min. It's like our bodies work perfectly together. I have not had sex with a man since high school. We continued to hook up for sex because it was so incredable. We both were clear that this was just for sex, and it was for a while. This is where it gets really weird... I am completely in love with him. And I can tell he loves me. The way he talks to me, touches me, respects me. We can talk about anything. He is very manly and very feminine at the same time. He cares about issues with women. His touch gives me goosebumps. He makes me feel amazing when he smiles at me. I just want to be around him all of the time. I was sure that I could never be with a man, relationship wise. But now I don't know. I've never felt this way before and I'm 28. I thought I was a lesbian. I am still a lesbian..I think. I don't understand how this could happen. Can amazing sex cloud your mind and change you? I'm so confused. I want him. I want him to leave his wife and have a relationship with me. I think this is the person I could spend the rest of my life with. I know it's wrong, and I don't care. I feel like a horrible person. Am I still a lesbian? There are so many feelings inside of me. Am I turning my back on what I really believe in? It just feels so right to me. I have told a couple of my friends and they are mad at me - they can't stand men. Life has really mixed me up here.

I am not gay, I am not lesbian, nor bisexual or transgender. Let me explain. I am desperately in love with my husband's brother Most posters in most forums are truly shocked by this and eventually, I feel like I am not welcome. I thought you people are bound to be an open minded group; more open minded than the others and there really is no place for someone like me to ask for advice. The minute I share my story (not much of a story, actually...) I am like leper... Will you make an exception and let me post here?

Really important question: How common is it for girls to like JUST ONE girl and no others. To feel repulsed at the idea of other girls touching her but having strong feelings for one particular girl. For it to feel different with that girl, like it's not a lesbian relationship, like it's just 'right' and whilst everyone else outside the relationship would see just two lesbians together, it doesn't feel like that to the girl in the relationship. It just feels normal. (i.e not being lesbian and not being bisexual. Fancying lads but also ONE girl on the whole planet and not finding any other women remotely attractive.) So is this normal? To not fancy any other girls AT ALL or even think mmm she's nice. But to fancy this one girl, but not really feel like you're fancying a girl. How many people have experienced this? Is this common? Thankyou to anyone who gives their opinion.

I just recently had the experience of watching the movie Better Than Chocolate and wanted to share with everyone how wonderful it is! I don't usually watch many gay/lesbian movies because I'm just coming to terms with my own lesbian identity and have always felt uncomfortable for some reason watching things like this. But this movie just blew me away, it made me feel empowered and just really good afterwards. I loved the openess of the whole movie and it gave me hope that I can have something like that myself. I was just very inclined to write in here to reccommend this movie to those who havent already seen it because it was really inspiring and I wanted to pass it on to others! Does anyone else have any other great hay/lesbian movies that they've seen? I've been looking in to renting some more but a lot of them seem to be more drama filled and I'd much rather watch a comedy or romantic comedy type of movie. Any ideas??

hi everyone, this is my first post in a while. i came here asking lots of questions a while back and learned a lot - thanks everyone! one of the things that i struggled with was the fact that i might be lesbian. it * * * *ing freaked me out because of all the prejudice that i associated with it...until yesterday. i had an epiphany which i want other people to confirm. ok. i always that being gay was about your sexual orientation. that`s what we learn and hear all the time. it freaked me out because though i thought i might like girls, it disgusted me to think about having sex with a girl. but do you know what?? i reckon being gay (or lesbian, at least) is when your mind is attracted to minds of the same sex. as someone who might be gay, i have always found that guys, while straightforward to talk to, are not as interesting to talk to as girls, who have this complexity about them. i think stright-forward mind + complex mind = harmony. i think for gay people (or anyone in between at any degree) their minds aren`t the usual minds you find in a straight guy or girl. so naturally a gay guy won`t find the same harmony with a girl and vice versa. Straight or gay, you fall in love with someone because of their mind, their personality, their energy first and foremost, not because of their sexuality. i think it`s misleading and wrong to say that being gay is all about sexual attraction. I think that is what gives some people the impression that gay people are really sexual, and maybe even disgusting or lesser than straight people . so. being gay should be defined as: being mentally, emotionally, physically attracted to someone of the same sex. don`t you reckon??

I'm not really confused about my orientation but my bestfriend said I'm bicurious when I told her that occasionally I watch lesbian porn. well maybe once a week at least. I know my orientation is straight. i'm physically and emotionally attracted to guys. am i really bicurious or what? but i still like to believe I'm straight. thats possible right? because you can still be straight and watch lesbian porn. right?

I've been on the receiving end of a lot of unwanted crushes from guys, but this is the first time I've ever had to deal with a girl. I've had a few major crushes on girls before so I know how it feels and I know how much rejection stings, but I just want nothing to do with this girl. She's not my type whatsoever and she's likely a few years younger than me. I'm about 99% sure she's a lesbian, somewhat from stereotypes, but also my own gaydar. She hasn't come outright and said anything, but it's painfully, painfully obvious. She's in one of my university classes, a class that has a higher percentage of females. I remember taking notice of her my very first day. Not because I was interested, but because I could feel her glancing at me from a short distance. I've even caught her staring, but she looked away each time. Then each class after the first, she seemed to pop up everywhere. If I left the class during break to get something to eat, she was right behind me. Always, always somewhere within range of me and staring. I know from my own experience of falling for people I don't think I can have, everything she's doing is signs of a crush. At first I thought I might just be imaging things and had to get over myself, but it's been six months of all the same kind of stuff. I don't want to go into too much detail because she could very well read these boards, but basically every week she makes it a point to stick around class later than she has to while I'm there. And really, I have no clue what to do. She's making me uncomfortable from a distance because it feels sort of creepy stalkerish. I almost wish she'd just come out and say something, but we aren't friends and really have no reason to ever speak to one another. There's no way in hell I'm initiating the conversation because it'll make her think I'm interested. I could definitely survive until the end of the year and then hopefully never have a class with her again, but I guess I feel bad for her sort of. On a more positive note, it does, in a way, make me feel sort of good because maybe this means I'm putting out "vibes" and one day I'll attract someone I'm actually interested in. haha. What have you guys done in the past with an unwanted crush?

Okay... all my life I have liked guys. (I'm a girl, if I haven't yet gone to my profile to specify this...) I'm almost certain I still like guys. But about four months ago, I realized that I like girls, too. I've never dated a girl, though, nor had a definitely sexual relationship with one (My friend Christina and I grab eacbhother's boobs a lot, but we both have boyfriends). I'm 16. The thing is, that was just brought to my attention today, is that even though I like guys.... I DON'T like their... appendages. In fact, I would much prefer the female appendages, and have always wondered what it would be like to... well, no need for details on that. Now I know I'm young, and this confusion and questioning and experimenting is typical of the age group... but I am sexually active, and I kinda feel like, if penis is an acquired taste, I SHOULD be liking it by now. But I don't. I really don't. I don't think they're completely disgusting... but I do feel a slight bit of revulsion toward them, and I really don't like what comes out of them. I kind of have to force myself to do favors for my boyfriend. I do it because I know he likes it and he does the same for me, but I don't particularly enjoy it. I've read all sorts of stories about girls who LOVE giving head and stuff like that, and I've always maintained that they can't possibly be true. ...But are they? Do a lot of girls actually like that? To make matters worse, I am definitely in love with the boyfriend I have now. He's the best boyfriend I've ever had. But I also have a bit of a crush on my friend Christina... I had a dream about her last night, and I think what scares me is that it wasn't at all sexual. We were at some sort of convention in an auditorium, and we were sitting next to eachother, and she fell asleep on me, and I felt... fuzzy. Warm and fuzzy. I told my boyfriend about the dream, but I led him to believe that it was sexual, because honestly, that would bother him less than the more intimate atmosphere that was actually present... I feel kinda bad, but I just think he'd consider it cheating on him if I had a crush on her... *sigh* Well, I told another good friend of mine about the dream... this friend is rather well-read in the area of sexual questioning, and she said that if I have to force myself to like penis, I might be a lesbian. She said, "Take Berky's head... and put it on Christina's body. Would you like that?" Well, apart from the freaky image, I would LOVE that. If I really think about it... say if I had a choice whether Berky, with the same personality and beliefs, was a boy or a girl... I'm not sure... but I really wouldn't mind him as a girl. In any case, there are many things that tell me I'm not a lesbian... I like guys! And, there's no reason for me to be in denial, because I have no problems with the LGBTQ community. I wouldn't mind being a lesbian at all. But... I dont' know the normal stages of coming out to onesself, so I don't know if there really is this huge denial for people, in which they think they can't possibly be gay. I think it must be different for everyone.... So basically, other than posting this, my other way of trying to solve the problem is asking all my close girl friends if they like penis, and if perhaps they didn't at first. So, give me your thoughts, and straight girls, if you have a good answer to that same question, it'd be appreciated... thanks. Oh, one last thing, I'm not sure if it matters... but I RARELY have sexual dreams about guys. Very rarely. When I do have sexual dreams, it's almost always about girls. And, I've always been something of a tomboy, and I usually quite despise the "girly-girl" look, though, as I know, you don't have to be a tomboy to be a lesbian, and vice-versa.

I'm having to hire a man's suit for my wedding in July because I can't find anyone in my immediate area (Durham, England) who caters for butch lesbians. It's formal wear like tuxedo's, waistcoats, etc., I'm looking for. Please can anyone help me?

How can I be a real lesbian if I don't find a single lesbian the least bit attractive? To me, there's nothing attractive about a girl trying to look butch, there's nothing attractive about the artsy, haven't-really-showered-in-a-week-but-that's-ok-because-I'm-earthy look. I'm not stereotyping, but generally that's how it is. I tried just searching through local personals to see if I could find someone interesting looking and I was completely turned off. There's nothing about "real life" lesbians that interests me. I think I have a problem because I seem to only have a thing for straight girls. Now men. There are a LOT of men I find attractive. Men find me attractive. The problem comes when they flirt and I'm not sexually interested in them. I want talking/relationships with men who just want to have sex and I want sex with women who just want to be friends. What the F am I? hahah. I'm just frustrated.

So there's this girl I work with, I'm very interested in her but I'm not sure how to make that known because I never really liked someone like this before. I don't konw how to figure out if she's interested or not. PS- We're both lesbian, I'm not confused on if she's straight or not So I've been intersted in this girl for awhile. I imed her awhile back and we chatted for awhile. We've been working together more and all. I really enjoy talking to her and stuff, but I'd like to take things further... and that's what I attempted to do awhile back... She sent me a message about two months ago while I was at work that she had a dream about me the other night. So when I got home I asked what it was about and she said we were dating and were keeping it a secret for some reason and that I tried to kiss her. Being the giant pile of nervousness I am, I kinda laughed it off and all. Then I figured it was a sign she was interested, but I haven't done anything about that because I'm not sure. A few months have gone by and I went home for the holidays and now I'm back. We've been talking and stuff, hanging out with friends from work occasionally. She likes a straight girl which bugs the hell out of me- I'm afriad I might have gave her the wrong sign when she told me about that dream and made her think I'm not interested. I'm looking for advice, how do you know a fellow lesbian is into you in the first place? Secondly, what should I do as to not make a fool of myself, I don't want to flat out say it becuase I work with her and that would make it ackward. Thanks in advance

A Question on vaginas, I am assuming, as all penises(pl?) are surely different, that also so too must be vaginas. For those experienced men,(and lesbians) out there, is each vagina that you come in contact with distinctly different than another? I know it's kind of random, but I'm just curious.

Well ya guys Im stuck in a rut and Im clinging on to hope! Well Im a bisexual male and Im only 15 and Im proud......but now my pride is starting to wane because of one very important quistion, "Will I go to Hell for being the way I am?". Some people say that gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, etc. people go to Hell, then there are some people who say that it's not true. I think God loves everyone and doesnt care for sexual orientation but then again with all the people and books that say that being homosexual is a sin, it leaves me confused. I read a book about sex and all that teen stuff today, its a Christian book by the way, and in it it said that its a sin and that people CHOOSE to be Gay,Lesbian,Tran,Bi, etc. Now thats were I strongly disagree because I did NOT choose to be Bi! Im not saying that God created me like this but I know "me" better than anyone else! Ever since I could remember I always was attracted to both sexes since I was 4 or 5! I mean what 5 year old boy do you know just wakes up one day and decides to become bisexual? Its appauling that people think that! Then the book said that people can change there ways and that kind of stuff. Im just so confused, what are ya's views on this?

hey people, this is me abstar, i do have a boyfriend and all but... i love to go onto gay teen chat sites...and talk to lesbians, i have never ever had a girlfriend but i have explored deeply over other lesbians, i can never see my self in a relationship with a girl but i get these weird feelings, when i'm about to go down on my boyfriend i just get the feeling i'ld rather be giving oral to some young sexy girl...i fantasise all the time about it and i have enjoyed fingering a lesbian i know but i don't like go around looking at girls finding them atractive like i do my boyfriend im just losing all concentration on sex and blowjobs with my boyfriend because i keep thinking of things like a lesbian would please i wanna have pleasurable sex with my boyfriend not thinking about girls all the time is this normal whats going on with me???