Hubby Wants a Baby

I've been discussing this issue with my hubby for months: He wants a Baby but I'm not ready yet (at least not these 2 years)! He wants a baby now cos he doesn't want to have a big generation gap with the kid. He LOVES kids and it's safer to give birth eariler than when we getting older. But for myself, I'm not a big fan of kids (especially at their 12s and think they know everything ). There're other things i still want to do and don't want to be dragged.

Everytime we talked about it, we ended up with a fight. He said there's no point to be together if I not plan to have children. I know he's not but I got the impression that he wants a baby more than me which I'm quite upset about.

I feel tired of this issue and had thought of giving up. I sometimes wondered if he got someoneelse, I'd be more relaxed and less guilt of not having his baby.

I really not want a baby yet! Don't know what to do ?

[/b] I think the biggest responsability in life is to be responsible for childs life and I think you are a very responsible woman for taking time to think and be honest about how you feel I think in alot of ways you have answered your own question you are not ready at least not for now and you should stick to your guns if he cant deal with it thats his probelm he has to figure out how to deal with it not you because having a child is the greatest thing that can happen to you believe me I have two but only when you are ready and dont feel like you are being selfish in anyway having a child takes alot out of you and lot of things change some for good some for bad. I think that you already made your decision you just now have to decide if your gonna stick to it or not.

Although your husband is of course important, having a child is basically taking your life on a totally different, selfless path in life for about 20 years. Don't let yourself be forced, because a child isn't a game, it's huge! But don't forget, you'll have time to do all sorts of things when your done raising children, and you'll have got the greatest thing this world has to offer too. Although children are a pain for a few years, it'll be worth it for all the good times.

Just one question...... why you didn't settle this prior to getting married?

We got married because we love each other and didn't think of having a baby by the time. When you got marriage for a certain period, you'll move on to a different stage and things changed. These changes not only in your living style but also in your mind too. He moves to a stage that having a child make a "Family" complete. I'm not yet reaching that stage. Yeah, I too think he's underestimated the responsibilities. He seems never understand how many a woman have to sacrify and the pressure for having a baby.

I don't hate my hubby, I feel a bit guilty too. But I don't want to be regreted. I don't want our relationship be parted because of this.

Tell him when you DO want a baby. Say, in 4 years or so. Then he may talk you down to 2. If so, try to negotiate for 3 years.

This advice is good if you want kids, but not right now. If you don't want them ever, he needs to know that.