why am i here?

i often feel like there is no point to my life. that i would be much better off dead. and i am so bitter about everything: past relationships, how my parents talk to me. i constantly vow that i will never fall in love again. and i cannot talk to anyone about this. my parents would freak out. the counsellors and psychiatrist i see would call the police. and well, friends are non existent. my only solace are these piles of books in my room that i don't read and dvds that aren't even out of their original packaging. anyway, my point is, there doesn't seem to be any point to my life. i am very much alone and any efforts i do make to relieve me of my loneliness is usually interrupted with school. i try to volunteer for things, and no one needs me, or the schedule is different from when they need people and when i get time off from school. i try to get some exercise, and homework needs to be done. anyway, i see no point in living anymore, and i often wake up depressed before the day has even begun. i pray to god and chant to buddha and nothing seems to come of anything i do to help myself. i often wish that i was dead, so that i wouldn't have to feel so alone and sad anymore.

Hollywood,

when & how did these feelings start? we care about you here & wouldnt want you to inflict any kind of harm onto yourself. keep us updated & never give up on yourself. more people love you than you think.

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens

when pain exceeds

resources for coping with pain."

& knowing that i can feel your loss for any light at the end of the tunnel, but rest assured that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We want to help you get there.

can you please read the information on this websyte. it will help you understand more about your pain & why it exists & ways that you can help yourself.

link removed

please, take care of yourself & keep your faith...

-DG724

you dont know how often i myself have felt like that lately ..but good things come to those who wait..dont give up! i know its hard u just have to come on here n vent or find someone that you are comfortable talking to ...it always helps me then after awhile u think things thru and u find things that u were not thinking about in the midst of your anger/saddness....my christmas wasnt the merriest ever ...i cried on three different occasions ...but then u just have to confront your problems and find a solution...bc there ALWAYS is one n things WILL get better ...posting on here was a good thing to do ...there are alot of caring ppl with problems just like you who are willing to help ...hope this gives u hope ..happy holidays

Hey - I read your post - and I just want you to know that there are people that need you more than ever.... you know what I mean right. People who would not know what to do if you left.

You are such a valuable friend and until you find your place in this crazy life please remember that and maybe that can be enough comfort to bring you through this craziness...

It will end - but people need you right now. lets get through this together

i'm very sorry to hear you're going through this right now. i've experienced very similar feelings more than once in my life, and i know it's not any fun. but please, just remember, right now you need to realize this: this will not be the rest of your life. you will not feel like this forever. i know it feels like no one needs you, but there are people. i know for a fact all of us here care about you. oftentimes it's easy to get sick of one's environment and forget that there is in fact a great big world out there. i promise you, school isn't forever. your family life isn't forever. this group of people your age that you say aren't you friends, they're not forever. you're going to get past all this one day if it's not pleasing to you. you're going to meet someone, one day, and you are going to love again. and most importantly, you're going to be loved. you're going to meet great people to have as friends who treat you the way you deserve to be treated. you're going to have your own life. youth can can be hell, i know. but please don't get lost in your sadness, you're going to get past all this one day. stay strong, please. you are too young for this. we all here want to help you and will do whatever necessary to keep you here. we know you're worth and believe that your life will and can get better...just believe it too. talking to someone outside of this won't necessarily involve any kind of authorities. people like therapists and school counselors have to keep this stuff confidential. your parents and people who love you will only want to help you. this is far more common than you might expect, so remember, you are definitely not alone. help is out there, and you are going to get through this. if you ever want to talk, i'm here..all of us are. you do have a purpose, just please stick around long enough to live out that purpose. God loves you, we all love you. please, check out these sites...take care

you can do this!

Hey, Hollywood, I haven't seen anything on this thread from you, so I thought I'd see how you were...

hey gettingoverit. yeah, i'm all right. busy with school and work and trying to make myself a better person and this world a better place. still have thoughts mostly about couplehood, and it sure would be nice to be with someone right now. i mean, i'd much rather wait and find the right person, but being among so many other couples i often wonder when my time will come up. that's about all. thanks for asking.

-H-

Hey Hollywood, I am glad to hear you're in school and keeping busy! That helps more than you may realize! I know what you mean about feeling like a 'third-wheel' with a bunch of couples around - I have been there, believe me!!

I have no doubt that your time will come, but sometimes we have to step out there and see what happens... I know, it's risky and can scare you to death (did me anyway), but in the end, we live and learn and love and burn... We get burned, we get our heart broken, we break hearts, we live... You can always 'date' without trying to find the 'right' person... You might be surprised - the 'right' person may be someone you never realized...