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Thread: My 11 year old "son" wants to be a girl.

  1. #1

    My 11 year old "son" wants to be a girl.

    I love my son to pieces. His whole personality is feminine. Some of my

    friends tell me he's just going through a phase, and a couple

    of tranny friends told me I should start him on hormones. I love my child

    regardless of his sexual preference. I told him I will stand beside him no

    matter what. The thing is, I don't want to start him on hormones if in fact

    this is just a phase. I know in my heart of hearts he is either gay or bi.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Member Empathy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Can you give any examples that would justify your belief that he is either gay or bisexual?

  3. #3
    Silver Member Cadence308's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    I am, by no means an expert on transgenderism. I'm wondering how long your son has felt like this and when he told you? Has he aways felt like a girl? Does he enjoy doing things that are feminine and that women enjoy, like play? Has he asked you if he could become a girl? How do other kids treat your son?

    I think that you have every reason to be concerned about this and wanting to help your son do what is best for him in the long run. I think that I would based my decision to start my child on hormones if their feelings had been consistent for a long period of time.

    A few years ago I had a roommate in the graduate housing apartments at the university where I was doing my master's degree that I was sure was born a man, but living as a woman. I never talked to my roommate about this and she/he never approached me with the topic. In some ways this person seemed like a woman to me and in other ways they seemed like a man.

  4. #4
    Member JonnyG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    At 11 years old he is too young to make an assumption like this. Many kids at a young age can go through phases like wanting to be the opposite sex or having some sort of feelings for people of the same sex.

    I didnt really have feelings for girls til was 13. And i didnt really think about wanting to get into bed with one til i was 15.

    Give it time. Its good that u sound so supportive, but dont worry about it yet.


  6. #5

    My 11 yr old......

    Well ever since he was 18 months old, he'd wear a tea towel over his head and pretend it was his hair. He does get razzed somewhat at school but for the most part, he holds his own. He has expressed interest in becoming a girl and he has many girlfriends as opposed to buddies. Anyway, I do love him the way he is and I wouldn't make any rash decisions before I spoke to someone in the field. Thanx for all the feedback. Very much appreciated.
    Laughter is the best medicine.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member shes2smart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Shrine of Seven Stars
    a couple of tranny friends told me I should start him on hormones.
    Since he is only 11, I think this is a huge mistake. No matter what gender he identifies as, he needs to finish growing up before going that route. I'd be more concerned about basic physical health. I'd be very, very suspicious of a doctor who would prescribe those types of drugs/hormones to a child.

    Since you know some transgendered persons, ask them if they are familiar with any counselors who specialize in these types of issues. It may be beneficial for you/your son to talk to someone who is familiar with the topic.

    I'd suspect it's something deeper than "a phase." At that age, there's more pressure to fit in and be like the other kids -- coming up with something that is so UNlike the other kids....there's something more to it than just "being different."
    "And all I can think is that it must be a kind of rebellion
    to arm your fears like soldiers and to slay them...." -The Airborne Toxic Event

    "All you need to understand is everything you know is wrong." - Weird Al Yankovic

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2002


    I think that hormones at this age would be a bad idea. It is ok if he wants to make these desiscions at a later age, but to start him on this now, he would probably regret it later on. Try and get him to do some activites that he finds interesting and fun. Get him involved in different activites where he is talking to kids his age.
    Prepare for tomorrow, not tomorrow, but today.

  9. #8

    My 11 y/o....

    I'm not saying I'm taking him to get hormones anytime soon;
    what I said was, I wouldn't be making any sudden moves to get him

    on them w/o speaking to someone who is familiar with this. He does have an active agenda in terms of interacting w/ kids his own age.

    Again, he is 11, and I think it is more than just a phase. He's almost a teenager, who prefers females as friends.
    Laughter is the best medicine.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    the third rock from the sun i.e earth
    hi, for now i'd just say let his life run as a guy, and even if he is showing signs of wanting to be a girl just let his life run. then who knows one day when hes around 16 he may say to you that he does in fact want to be a girl. but he needs to discover himself before anything is changed. he prob hasnt discovered girls, or guy things yet. its just like how i was a tom boy when i was younger, didnt mean i wanted to be a guy. .......I hope that made sense.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    i think 11 is very young to make a decision like that. i think you should keep loving him like you do, and when hes older and he still feels the same way then you deal with that then....well thats how i see it.

    good for you for supporting your son, 10 years ago they would have put him in some therapy to convince him he is not gay, or whatever!


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