Need help on this one!

Well here is the situation. I am 26, and my mother who hasn't really been a very good one, is up to her old tricks of trying to ruin my life yet again.

The story goes like this, my mom has constantly tried to control and run my life for a insanely large amount of time. She blamed me and told me on several occasions that she does not love me but she is ok with my 3 other sisters. Recently, my dad had enough of her and left. I am so glad! I let her borrow a car that I had bought because she had to give my dad their car because she wanted to keep the house. Well, nothing was wrong with the car, until she wrecked it 3 times in 2 months. She didn't file a report, the girl that hit her had no insurance. The car was considered totaled by my insurance company but she refused to give a statement because she didn't want to be out of a car. She uses the car to call constantly saying tons of things are wrong. My husband is a mechanic.

On top of that I am 6 months pregnant and she has told me on several occasions that I should have an abortion, because she doesn't think I need any more kids. I have 2 currently. She called my husband names, which is why we never told her we got married. She also demands I bring the grand kids up 2 hours to see her on Christmas. I told her I had plans and what they were, she had two offers from my dad and my ex-husband to come down and refused. Then I find out my one sister is bringing her down here to my other sister who lives 7 miles away and they told me I am expected to show up so that the kids can open their presents in front of her. So I ask why can't you come here? She told me it was too far out of the way. On top of that she tried to file grandparents rights and has tried to have my kid taken away, I guess she figured she screwed me up and she can fix it by raising my daughter! NO CHANCE.

SO>>>>>>here is what I am planning on doing. I am first taking my car away from her and letting the insurance total it out. After that is gone, I am planning on having no contact with her period. I figure if she can't try to see me but can see everyone else why should I bother. Is it a good idea, to cut all ties with a mother that acts like this??

Wow. I don't know if it is a good idea.

My grandfather was never the guy who really supported his kids or gave them too much. He threw a tanturm the night his daughter was supposed ot go to her prom, and his sister had to come over and straighten him out. He insisted on finishing dinner, when his wife was in labor with his last child, and I bet she had cooked it too while she was having some labor pains.

My grandmother died and he remarried within 8 months. Promptly afterward he changed the locks, appaerently at her request, and did not tell the youngest who still lived at home. Big surprise when he came home one night.

My father, his son, dealt with most of it fairly well. Then, when my grandfather and his wife began to do things that he saw affected his kids, mostly just neglectful, he cut them off. I never saw him from when I was seven until I was sixteen, except driving by his place when he was outside. It just seemed that he did not care enough, and Dad refused to expose us to it. It was not a bad decision.

Your mother clearly shows you a lack of respect. You gave her a car and she abuses it. She still puts demands on you as if you had to take her orders. And her statement that you should have an abortion is pretty unforgiveable. I would make it clear to her why you are cutting her off and that she won't get back in without apologizing and showing she has amended her ways. Otherwise, she may see you kids, but only sporadically.

I think what your doing is fine. But be prepared for it to come from all angles in your family.

Yes, what your mother is doing is extremely WRONG.. I would do the same exact thing in your position. But, do this quickly. And if your children would like to talk to their grandmother- let them. She can't take your kids away from you unless you give her a reason to. Even if she tries, the courts will not let her, unless you abuse or aren't a very good mother (which I doubt is the case). Good luck..let us know what happens.