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Thread: Abusive long distance jerk

  1. #1
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    Abusive long distance jerk

    Hi,

    I've vented on another forum, but thought I'd take the opportunity to vent a little more. Venting feels good!

    Here it goes: This long distance cyber relationship I had posted about on the Infidelity forum initially was also abusive. I am married, but thought I'd fallen in love with someone via internet. My marriage was suffering and I got hooked because of being vulnerable and choices I made just to feel good again. Husband and I did struggle.

    Since last May this jerk and I had communicated via email and a few phonecalls. To spare you a long story, I wasted my time with a manipulative, persuasive, deceitful, dangerous, verbally and emotionally abusive con who is now preying on a young woman of 20. He is 32, divorcee, well educated accomplished very worldly man, who wants a sex partner. He disguises it as needing companionship. Since he's blind, his world is all about him and his needs and he is desperate. He desguises that with specious care about the wellfare and life of his object/prey. But watch out if he gets mad at her or she doesn't bow to his every whim.

    My husband calls him a predator, manipulator. (I kept all things on the table, being honest with my husband about everything going on with me in hopes to work on our marriage, which we still are). Anyway, this guy is dangerous and verbally abusive. He even seemed schizoid at times--One day he's a friend; the next day he'd be vehement and insulting, even cruel.

    Weird!

    So, I'm watching out for such pukes that cross my path again, esp. when I'm vulnerable such as I was in May. My life was great without such a horrid person. I made the choices to keep talking with this disgusting person. I'm glad I can recover from manipulation and emotional abuse and move on. The way I now see it is...Eeeeeeeewwoo

    11Flower

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    Gold Member DragonGirl724's Avatar
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    this is bold but whatever.

    ok...and your husband is cool with this??? im sorry but i hate when people cheat, in an shape or form! if you guys have problems go to relationship counseling or leave! id be pissed at you if i were him & you being with him and seeking attention elsewhere! what kinda crap is that!? what good would that do??? obviously none! what if he was dating a new chick??? youd be pissed!! ugh whatever!

    so you met a jerk online, who cares!! theres plenty of them out there. post about your marriage going sour & hopes to fix it, not 'oh my cyber bf is absuive..' like really. are you serious!

    sorry but i think your upset at the wrong issue at hand.

    -DG724

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    He is not my boyfriend. He never actually was. My husband and I both had given advice to this guy when he asked me for it. He was sort of befriending both of us. No, there was no actual cheating, at least not hidden. There was never a cyber affair in the sense you put it. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about abusiveness. My husband says this ex-friend, so to speak, is a manipulative con who is persuasive and deceitful who takes advantage of people and women, and acts very innocent about it. One day, this guy is friendly. The next, he freaks out and is a schizoid rude insulting abusive teenager.

    No offense, but you really sound like you're having a bad day. Take a break. You missed the point of this post. It's about verbal abusiveness.

    Have you ever been manipulated by a guy? You are pretty young as well as maybe I'm not being clear enough for you.

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    Gold Member DragonGirl724's Avatar
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    im actually not having a bad day, finals ended couple days ago im on winter break & goin to a party in a few hrs.

    u said:

    "Here it goes: This long distance cyber relationship I had posted about on the Infidelity forum initially was also abusive. I am married, but thought I'd fallen in love with someone via internet. My marriage was suffering and I got hooked because of being vulnerable and choices I made just to feel good again. Husband and I did struggle."

    then u said:

    "No, there was no actual cheating, at least not hidden. There was never a cyber affair in the sense you put it."

    NOW IF LOVING (as u put it in original post) another person even via internet isnt cheating....then what the hell is it??

    anyone else see this as being a little strange?

    -DG724

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    Silver Member arwen's Avatar
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    Yes, to be quite honest, I don't understand either. If he's verbally abusive, and you only meet online, and you have had no affair, and he lives somewhere far, ehh...

    What's the problem? Block his email, block him on msn, just avoid contact?

    Ilse.

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    Gold Member DragonGirl724's Avatar
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    and yes i have been manipulated. i may be 21 but i have been through more crap than women in their 40's. your post just doesnt make sense.

    -DG724

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    Yes, of course, Dragongirl.

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    Silver Member arwen's Avatar
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    Hey,

    Maybe it would help if you would explain what the problem is. The fact that it bothers you so much that he is behaving in a certain way tells me that you have strong feelings, otherwise you wouldn't care. I mean, he is not really able to harm you physically, or is he? If he would be stalking you (cyberstalking) there are ways to overcome that.

    I just don't understand this story, and next to that I don't understand why you need to react on a response that you don't like by saying someone obviously has a bad day? What do you want to hear?

    Ilse.

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    Hi I.

    It was because of the tone of the post that I responded the way I did. I's just that there is so much more to the picture which wasn't explained.

    I think we ventors should have a place to vent. I think if there's to be venting that another forum could be created in order to warn others to "Watch out--content may be insulting" forum,
    Okay, enough said. I've got more venting to do. This man I thought was a friend, a non-romantic friend, is horribly mean. He's just a terrible jerk. A snake. He would act as any congenial friend would act, and then the next day manipulate the hell out of me. I trusted him to at least show respect.
    He doesn't. He didn't.

    He's abusive, manipulative and a snake. He manipulated me in different ways through his use of romantic language and verbal skills. My husband is helping me through having been hurt and/manipulated emotionally cyberly by this guy.

    I just wish the "UGH" in the first resonse could have been directed not to me, but to him.

    If there are more questions for me to answer, it'll have to be later when I've thought this through.

    11Flower

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    So here's more.

    This is the type of guy who now has a girlfriend/sex partner. He claims "singleness" and loyalty to this girl. Yet, if a woman he meets and he get along and they find an attraction, he will ask her to explore possibilities of being a sex partner. What a messed up jacked up idiot!

    Be careful of snakes and manipulators. They are abusers underneath. Don't be persuaded by their lies and twists of truth. They make you feel as your the one in the wrong. They twist your meanings to what you say and purposely confuse you. Before you know it, your hooked in.

    This guy is a sick-o in that he mistreats people shouting abusive language, cursing out, demeaning and belittling, that is, if he "gets angered beyond repair", are his words. Weird He at this very moment is hiding his "infidelity" to his present girlfriend who trusts that he is not playing around.
    Why can't such people be put out of their misery sooner than not?

    Seriously, watch out for guys who manipulate you by drawing you in to trust them, then purposely rejecting you so they have power.

    Scary people are some in this world.


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