-Not Worthy For A Topic-

I dont know why Im posting. I already tore apart my wrists and sitting here bleeding without a care. I have my bottles sitting in front of me. Remeron, Wellbutrin, and Ibuprofen in 800 mgs each. I want to waste away. I want to be nothing. I want to just be dead. I dont want attention. I dont want help. And I dont want people asking me questions or telling me Im a failure or destroying me with their words. The door is locked, the bottles are open, my wrists are bleeding. -holds head and cries- I dont know what to do...

If you read this... my question is this: if you don't want help, why did you post? If you don't want someone to notice how badly you're feeling, why come here? People can help, really! But you have to make the choice to LET THEM. That's why many of us come here... To try and help others find a better way to cope. But we only have as much power to help as you give us....

Exactly what she said . U do want help, thats why your here. U do want people to notice, thats why your here. So give life a chance, because u are not fully sure u want to end it yet. And at only 17....u have no idea what the future holds for u. It could be better than u ever dreamed it could be. Im 22, and think life sucks a lot of the time, but i have hope. I truly believe that 1 day i'll be satisfied with life.

I thought If I just said it, then I could stop it. Like I could write down these magic words and my fair godmother would appear to take away the bad. I don't want the help that doctors have to offer...Ive been there, thanks. I want it to go away. People think I want all of this...attention and pity but I don't. I could careless if people read this or not; if people noticed or not. Its like...I had to say it to make it seem real. Im sitting here with razors on one side and bottles of pills on the other. And even though the light is on, the room feels dark and heavy. Its like...its not real. Like Im standing outside myself, seeing this girl and saying, "That cant be me. Im not like that. Im strong...Im a viking....Im stronger than this..."

Can I ask what is wrong with your life?

You and I could sit here...for the next two years and I don't think I could get everything out. Its everything and nothing all at the same time. Its...nothing other people havent dealt with. So my mother never wanted me and my dad ignores my existence. So what if I was molested twice and looked at as a freak becauase I cant trust people. So what if nothing in the world gives me any happiness and I cant even feel myself anymore. Its depression, thats life. Its me being a failure...thats what it is. Its everything and nothing and the lack of feeling alive...Its more than what I said but nothing I care to describe.

hey hey hey

it's gonna be ok. please just be glad you're still here and take a few slow deep breathes. you're gonna be ok. you're alive and you're gonna get through this. we're all here for you, i am here for you. any of us will do anything to help you along. you're gonna get through this and i know it. believe it or not i've been where you are and i've seen some dark days. but you know what? i ended up living and so far ive lived to see some pretty bright ones too. you're not doomed, and you're not going to die. you're going to live. you're only 17 and i'm going to personally do anything i can to help you stay alive. you have so much to live for and you don't even know it. you are so strong, but you don't give yourself enough credit. i know you're not looking for help or attention, but just think of this as support from someone who's been there. it honestly hurts me to know you're hurting like that. but please, just remember, if it makes you feel any better, you are alive right now and you are not going to hurt like this your entire life! be stick around and see what happens. don't be hard on yourself, you are really so special. please visit this site if you want, it has a lot of interesting things to say. and please please please msg me or anyone else on here ANYTIME. you've got to get help. just at least talk to anyone..doesn't have to be a doctor. anyone. me. a friend. cousin. uncle. parent. anyone. you're alive and that's wonderful. you can keep going too. call 911 or a local hospital about your wrists if they are bad. you can still make it. call 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-222-1222 about the pills, they can help you start all this over. please take the pills away, you don't need them. try to be happy with yourself, you are worth it! you're gonna make it through this. what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and you're already so strong! use all this experience and knowledge to grow and face life witha new positive attitude outlook and help others who feel weak. you can do this i know it. please just do whatever you can to save yourself. it's not too late. take care!

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also, please read my post on this topic here: link removed

youre gonna make it and you're gonna be ok..happiness will find you, just please give it one more chance