not sure why people want to sabatoge my life!!!!!

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Hi SweetHarmony,

Long time no see. Welcome back. I can empathize with you. If I were in your shoes, I'd tell the girl upfront how you feel. I was in a position like yours before. My ex co-worker did the same thing. She was your gossip queen/trouble maker at work. You know what? People like that are just 2-faced. They don't like confrontation. So what do they do? They go around behind your back and talk smack. To me, that's more pathetic than anything. If I have an issue with someone, I'll directly tell them to their face that I don't appreciate it. I used to be the type who would keep quiet and not make waves, but you know what, there are times in which you do need to step up and let them know that disrespecting you isn't something that should be tolerated.

You know what makes me feel even more sick? Have you ever heard of the line, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer"? I remember someone saying that in the past. And to tell you the truth, people like that disgust me. You'll see a lot of that in the work environment for whatever reason, even if it's a volunteer job. I don't get it. Why be 2-faced for? I don't see how people can live in vanity like that. If people have issues with someone, then they shouldn't act fake about it. If anything, speak your mind and have your peace.

This girl sounds 'pretentious.' Stay away from people like that. Backstabbers will backstab. Keep your distance. It's not worth getting involved with people like her. When you do go to work, I'd keep things normal. Be polite. Mind your own business. Keep the atmosphere professional, but don't get close to her. Don't even bother with striking up friendly conversations or small talk. Tell her how you feel about how she's treating you. Speak up for yourself, and then let it be. Go off on your own way, and try to focus on something else that's positive. Focus on enjoying your volunteerwork. Try not to waste your energy on people like her. Hang in there. Office politics is almost unavoidable, but try not to get involved as much as you can. Good luck to you SweetHarmony.-Mahlina

hey...if markets are efficient...people will know and figure out what she's all about. people like that will not get very far in the long run. as long as your boss is aware of what going on, then you just do your thing and keep it professional. if she is being dishonest and doing things to impact your job performance, i would ask your boss to step in and mediate the situation or extract you from situations where you would have to actually work with her.

honestly, if your boss doesn't step in and do something, then it becomes a hostile work environment for you - this woman is actually a liability to the company because you would actually have groups for a law suit if the your company does not do anything about this kind of behavior. additionally, make sure you have a document trail and try NOT to have conversations one on one with her. that way you always have proof of your communication.

good luck, i feel for you. politics are inevitable in a work environment, but this kind of manipulative behavior is certainly grounds for dismissal.

something else to think about.....i know you probably don't want to make waves and cause strife at work, but this person who is making your life miserable is the same type of person who will move on and make someone else's life miserable if no one stands up and shows her that it is NOT ok to behave in this manner. you seem to have a strong network and support at work and would be able to stand up to her. you have to ability to prevent this from happening to someone else.

Sounds like she is trying to get your job. She is either hopeing that the amount of touble she causes you will make you quiet or get you fired. Instead of going up to her and telling her how you feel, just ask her straight up whats up with her and why is she doing what she is doing. Tell her how you feel about thats going on will only let her know what she is doing is getting to you and will only increase it.

Buy a book called the enneagram in love and carreer or something like this by author Helen Palmer. Check out how the #3 personality carries it self out in carreers, there is a special section on that. I think you will find that it matches you coworker very well. There are some guidelines there on what is the best way to keep these type of people under control. Your boss may need to take a different attitude though. You may need to become more assertive, find your own personality type in the book for tips. You will not regret reading about this, I guarantee it. It helped me TONS in a similar situation. Gives you an advantage point.

The attitude you are having sounds very humble and christlike, which is lovely, however, in the work place you must be more assertive. The type of personality type your coworker seems to have, based on your description, stops at nothing to get to her goal, and will always try to push you out of the way one way or the other. It doesn't matter if you are her superior she will disrespect you. The situation you are going through sounds very uncomfortable and unhealthily competitive. It is affecting you, read the book, learn how to handle this and take a stand for yourself.