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Thread: I was emotionally hurt by my ex-boyfriend. ...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Moreno Valley, California

    I was emotionally hurt by my ex-boyfriend. ...

    Me and my ex-boyfriend were such good friend at the very beginning of our first meeting at college. I assumed he was the perfect man for me because he agreed to meet my parent's to ask permission to take me out to dinner (Family tradition). He made me feel very confident and very happy, and sometimes he would say that he wants to marry me someday. I was in love. He became my boyfriend a few days later because he said that it was faith we met; however, he did mention he has ADD (Attention deficit), but I did not discriminate him about his condition. Although after half the month of our relationship it took a down hill, I did not know how severe his disorder. He would just say things bluntly at me, such as "YOUR Stupid", "Typical Asian, your race are all the same", "Shut up!", and just say things out of proportion. He was just becoming verbably abusive, which I will not include some of the words, but he did use every negative words in the dictionary to me. HE would say "I love you" sometimes, but I knew that he was only saying those words to get into my pants, although he never had the chance to devirginized me. I tried my best to make the relationship work although I do not know why I stayed for a while? He was very inaffectionate and starving me from simple affection (A simple kiss and holding hands), so I was always craving intimacy and affection. I never asked him for sex because I don't want him that way. I want him as a boyfriend that I could love, I don't want him in a sex way yet. It was not the right time to lose it, I'm catholic and asian I have moral values. He also won't let me hold his hand in public because he said it is gay. Then All of a sudden I was in class, and my psychology professor was talking about if a relationship is not working out you have to let them go no matter how much you love the person. I ended it even though my heart does not want to end it. Probably I was just hoping that the man I met in the beginning will appear soon, but I know he was long gone. I was crying, and he has no reaction. Just a cold hearted face (He was on medication). I tried to understand, but it was hard for me to undersatnd. I was emotionally and mentally traumatized. I tried to call him in the summer, but I could not pick up the phone. I just waited for him to call, but he never did. I have spent three months crying and isolating myself in my room. Then on After four months of waiting I called him to retain our friendly relationship I guess, although he was interested at first to talk to me. I just want a sense of closure. All of a sudden he said he has a girlfriend. I was heartbroken which conclude I still love him. I started crying which I have no clue why. I guess a part of me still loves him. He did apoligized for mistreating me, and told me to move on. He asked if I have a boyfriend and I replied that I am still single. I always turn my back to all the men who asked me out to dinner. I was having a hard time eradicating him in my mind. I could not move on and ahving a difficult time moving on. We talk a few minutes more and we both said good-bye. I was still crying and hurt. The next day I saw him, and he gave me a hug. My eyes was still puffy from last nights tears, and he asked why I looked sad. I just replied "I always look sad." He walked away to go to his college class. I waited for him after his class, but I was ignored like he did not see me sitting down. Do I still have a chance with him? Does he still want me? Why am I pursuing something that does not exist in his heart? Why am I like this? Help me...
    Lonely Tormented Heart

  2. #2
    Member bored's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    umm all i can say is the sooner you move on the better...u never gonna move on if deep down you dont want to..even if u say u do on the surface...go hit up some clubs, go chill wid friends etc..anything to get ur mind off probably would take a long time..but that's how it works for dosent mean ur "in love" wid him just cause u cant get over him in a couple month...

    o and wat does he mean thats how asians are?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    He didn't treat you well at all and if you ever got back together, what are the chances that he would change? Try your best to move on and in time you will find someone that will.

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