Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 50

Thread: My husband loves me but says i'm ugly

  1. #1
    uglypuss
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    3

    My husband loves me but says i'm ugly

    My husband of 12 years recently told me that i'm unattractive. Apparently, he's always found me unattractive. In fact wanted an unattractive partner so he wouldn't have to deal with the issues involved with pretty women ( ie. the interest of other men ).

    I told a couple of girlfriends who reacted with disbelief, whether at his opinion or his voicing of it, i don't know. They chastised him gently. He just shrugged his shoulders in a "what can i say" fashion.

    In addition, he often stares at other women when we're out together. He also likes to comment on the attractiveness of women everywhere, be it real women in the street or actresses in movies. He's not shy about sharing his opinions regarding the attractiveness of others with me or anyone else. In fact, (and i know this is just speculation on my part) it seems he sort of wants others to know he doesn't find me appealing.

    I love him and I don't have any other reason to doubt his love for me. But i think if you love someone you find them attractive...i know i do. So what should i make of his low opinion of my appearance? Does it say something about his feelings for me in general?

  2. #2
    mymelancholysoul
    Member mymelancholysoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Southern Maryland
    Age
    28
    Posts
    93
    Gender
    Female
    He has no right to say you are unnattractive! As your husband, he should be calling you beautiful or at least treating you with the same respect you give him. Just because hes a male doesnt mean he has the right to bring you down by calling you ugly or commenting on how attractive other woman are. I think you need to bring this up with your husband and let him know that it hurts you when he does these things. If he cannot respect you, then I don't know if he can truly love you. I am only 16 and I am only trying to help. I do hope things work out because the way he is behaving is unacceptable. Take care darlin! -hugs-

  3. #3
    drahcir
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    32
    Posts
    391
    Thats so mean of him!!!!!!!!!!!

    Maybe ask him what he finds attractive in a girl, and do your best to fit that role. Maybe he prefers a certain type of clothing, a certain type of walking, i don't know. Ask him. And see if there is anything you can change that he might find attractive.

  4. #4
    mymelancholysoul
    Member mymelancholysoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Southern Maryland
    Age
    28
    Posts
    93
    Gender
    Female
    Yeah, but why should she have to change? Was she not attractive before? I mean, I don't think you should have to change to fit his likes and dislikes. I know in a marriage you have to make comprimises but why make yourself over for him? If he can only love and care for you based on appearances, than something is truly wrong. I still vote for talking these things out because obviously he needs to be clued in. Again, if he cannot respect you I'm not sure if he can love you.

  5. #5
    Michael2
    Bronze Member Michael2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    530
    Husband sounds like a pretentious a-hole. You need to put him in his place. Do not change for him. He KNOWS what he is doing. And honestly, its disgusting. Do not let this affect your self esteem what so ever.

    How long has this been happening?




    P.S:

    My suggestion. Withhold sex.

    Or maybe to bring it up to him, just as you are about to do the horizontal shuffle, put a garbage bag over your face and say to him, " I dont want you to look at me considering I am that ugly" Do it in a joking matter, which may then lead you into a discussion with him.

  6. #6
    NotGay,Really
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    USA
    Age
    58
    Posts
    61
    What can I say? Men are dogs, sometimes.

    I think he is being very mean spirited to say this. If he were my friend, and he said that in my presense, I would tell him to apologize. And he really has no business comparing you to other women. (I don't think there's any harm in his looking-- that's just a part of some dogs, er, guys.)

    ave you spoken to him plainly and honestly about how this makes you feel? Don't be confrontational. Just state it as simply as you did here. At the very least, he needs to understand your feelings on this.

  7. #7
    AwsomeDude
    Member AwsomeDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Dubai
    Age
    36
    Posts
    110

    :\

    maybe the guy is just asking for a lil change but he is missing the right way to pass her the message !

  8. #8
    Celadon
    Platinum Member Celadon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,257

    Re: My husband loves me but says i'm ugly

    Quote Originally Posted by uglypuss
    I love him and I don't have any other reason to doubt his love for me. But i think if you love someone you find them attractive...i know i do. So what should i make of his low opinion of my appearance? Does it say something about his feelings for me in general?
    So how do YOU feel about his comments?

  9. #9
    AwsomeDude
    Member AwsomeDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Dubai
    Age
    36
    Posts
    110

    :\

    we all knows that he loves her, but at the same time her husband is kinda of a demanding guy, referring to what she said about he keep noticing other attractive ladies, so maybe he has comments about her look for example ! and still he didnt use the right way ! but after all, all of us have the right to comment about our committees looks !
    got me ?

  10. #10
    sisterlynch
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    2,118

    here is another idea

    He needs to be punished!! He needs you to tell him that he is ugly and that you don't love him. Just hearing the words should act as punishment enough for him to give up on this little game of his. He needs to get off the pot, if he is just waisting time with you. there are a lot of great guys who need your attention and will love you no matter what.

    He has a low opinion of himself if he thinks that it is ok to treat someone this way.

    Read the book: Women Who love too Much. It talks about emotional abuse, that is what his is doing to you. Don't let him do it.

  11.  

Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
My Girlfriend's Extreme Anger and Dramatic Behavior Are Ruining Our Relationship
This is gonna be a long one. Bear with me.. Okay, so this is my absolute first post on any forum ever. I am a 21 year old male, and I am currently in
Career conflict - am I being selfish?
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 7 years. We broke up a couple of years ago for 3 months and during this time I realised how much I
In need of help setting terms for ultimatum
So often I see friends who are dating really controlling and possessive people who make them give up the things that are important to him. One
I need an outside view on things
Bear with me I have a lot to tell you but after I get your opinion I shouldn't need much more help. I am about to break up with my girlfriend of
Breaking the break up loop
I (27M) met Emily (23) (E) about two and a half years ago when we were both getting out of relationships with our respective children's parents. She
Problems with my boyfriends ex
I met my boyfriend back in April. I knew that he had previously been engaged to another woman. He told me that they weren't together and he told me
He says he is not 'ready' for our 1 year relationship?
We've been together for a year, never a day apart and its been great - he is funny, smart and makes me laugh and he says he is in love with me and

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Weird crazy breakup
Here goes. We was together 4 and a half years, lived together for the most of that with her grandparents, yeah moved in pretty quick because of
is my bf racist? is there a future?
I am a bit dumbfounded and confused.. pls comment.. I have been dating my bf for 3 years. I look asian and he looks european. Things have not always
Great conversation but she Ghosted me?!
When I asked for her phone number, she kinda looked at me (the really dude? face). I knew it was over, but seriously it bothers me that we had a
My Girlfriend's Extreme Anger and Dramatic Behavior Are Ruining Our Relationship
This is gonna be a long one. Bear with me.. Okay, so this is my absolute first post on any forum ever. I am a 21 year old male, and I am currently in
Wrapping your head around an incurable condition
How does one do that ? While my condition is not fatal it is incurable and my life quality will steadily deteriorate over time. Most possible will
My mom kept a secret for 28 years
I'm 28 years old, my mom always told me to not sleep around, said she never slept w anyone till she got married, etc. well randomly tonight she tells
Confusing relationship with ex
So my ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. There was a lot of hurt, I was really depressed for the first weeks until I got back on my feet and
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •