I hate my mom's bf...what should i do?

My mom and dad split for good when i was 10 (11 years ago) they still remain friends which i think is cool. Her bf now, she's been with him for 7 years. At first he was nice to me, he would talk to me and tell me about his family and stuff. I get along with his daughter who is 14 really well.

But the thing is now that my mom's bf just annoys me all the time. He doesn't care about me at all. He doesn't talk to me unless he needs me to do something for him. Yesterday I was relaxing at home and he was home all day too and he didnt' say a single word to me. He's also really rude, he'll wake me up super early because he was just too loud. I've never seen him do anything around the house at all so me and my mom get stuck cleaning. I've only seen him wash the dishes ONCE in the entire 7 years that i've known him and I think that's sad.

As for the relationship with him and my mom, I can't really tell how it's going. They aren't affectionate at all. And they've never said I love you in front of me. I do know that something must be going ok since they've been together for 7 years.

I don't really know how to cope. I'm moving to San Francisco to be with my boyfriend, but until then my mom's bf will continue to make me angry. I've talked to my mom about this and nothing seems to improve. I've tried talking to my mom's bf, but i can't really understand him when he talks because english is his 2nd language.

If anyone can help me, that would be really great...

Thanks in advance.

Sounds kind of like my dad and his "girlfriend"... my parents got divorced when I was 3, and his gf and him have been together for almost 11 years.

Like yours, I'm unsure exactly how platonic they are with each other, and after a big fight last year, they only see each other on weekends. Like yours, in the beginning she was all nice and tried to suck up, and I got to know one of her sons. But now when she comes over, if my dad isn't there, it's kind of like "What's the point?"

My guess, regarding my dad, and your mom's relationship (depending on how old she is, and/or living environments, my dad is 47), is that while they might've grown out of the passion, they're comfortable with each other and really don't want to go through all the dating rituals again.

My best advice would be that if you're moving in the really near future, to just grin and bear it (seriously, I've been awoken at 6 AM on a Sunday to them watching Kill Bill before), and try not to let his every little fiber of being get to you. If this living situation has to continue for a longer period, keep egging your mom to work out some rules and restrictions between you and her boyfriend.

i'm not one to say cuz i hate doing the dishes but if he eats he cleans

the rule in my house is if you use it you clean it

and if some one make you dinner at lease clean there dish as a thank you for the food. and don't pull out the i buy the food crap so i don't clean

sh!t. man if he is being rude then be rude back. no point being nice to some one that is rude and stuff cuz

1) your not his slave cuz if he think woman need to be chained to the mop and sink, he has something to learn

2) i think you sould tell him what you think of him. and if he don't understand what your saying then tell your mom to say it to him

thanks for your time

My step-mum was the same....she was all nicey-nice until I'd been around a while and then she started being a downright B***H. She'd whinge how I was doing nothing with my life....despite the fact I worked full time and did full time university (college). Then she'd call me lazy even though I was the one who cleaned up the place, mowed the lawns, washed the clothers etc. And nothing I did was ever good enough. If I got upset I was told to stop being a wuss and guys dont cry, and constantly told I was fat and no girl would want me to the point of actually believing it.

My soultion was to move out, and everything was great after that...I never saw her. My dad and I get on really well and I always did stuff with him, but never had anything to do with her where I could help it, and if I did I made sure my dad was there as well because she wasn't like that in front of him.

Thanks for the advice guys. I guess i should just be stoked that i'll be out of this hell hole soon

If you have any other suggestions, let me know...

You are not complaining that they fight all the time, which is good. I know it is hatefull, I have been through it 4 x times.

Just keep this in mind. You are 21 (from the ages you supplied) and will leave the nest soon. Your mom will need someone in her life to spend it with, just like you have your boyfriend.

Since you will only still be in her house for a little while. Grin and bear it, but don't let him abuse you. When you leave, you can spend time with your mom, and won't have to look into his face again, if you choose not to.

Frankly it's not worth making a big fuss about. It will be over before you know it!