I thought it would be interesting to share some of the responses to the first survey.
What is your age?
Response Percent Response Total
Younger than 12 4.9% 9
12 6% 11
13 14.1% 26
14 25% 46
15 18.5% 34
16 13% 24
17 4.3% 8
18 4.3% 8
19 3.3% 6
20 1.6% 3
21 0% 0
Older than 21 4.9% 9
Total Respondents 184
Please express in your own words the reasons why masturbating is or has been embarrassing to you? Why has it been difficult to talk about masturbation with female friends? And how, if ever, you overcame this embarrassment? Please express in your own words the reason why masturbating should or should not be embarrassing for young females?
1. I've only had one experience with it being embarrassing, and that was when I told a friend about it and they made fun of me.
2. People say it's 'gross', etc. And female friends think you're weird if you talk about it, I guess? I just started thinking that it's normal, so why be embarrassed. You shouldn't be embarrassed, it's natural.
3. Masturbating isnt embarrassing to me.
4. Masturbation is something that my friends find gross, and that we shouldn't do it. If they are lying or not, I don't know, but it isn't something we can comfortably talk about.
5. I only felt embarrassed the around the first time i did it because I didn't really understand it but now i don't care. Masturbating is healthy and a good way of discovering yourself in a very personal way. If anybody asks me about masturbation this is what i reply with when someone either jokes around about it or if someone who is embarrassed and uneducated asks me.
6. I think it is a double standard that it is so accepted for guys to masterbate, it is even in common conversation as jokes and such, but when a female brings it up it is just weird. I guess it kinda goes along with the sl*t issue, people think girls that are very sexual are sl*ts, and masterbation is a sexual thing that you do. I think its harder to talk about it with female friends because they seem a little more judgemental about those types of things. I actually did tell one of my closest females friends all about my sexual escapades without mentioning masterbation, shes told me her stories too, but not mention of masterbation. She even gave me tips about what to do when fingered by a guy though. The one person that Ive admitted it too is one of my closest guy friends, we just got onto the topic and I told him about it, hes really cool with stuff like that though, so I dont regret telling him.
7. My family rarely talks...ecspecially about this kind of stuff...
8. It has not been embarrassing at all to me. I'm fine talking about it to males or females.
9. Masturbation is probably thought of as an embarrassment because frankly,it's a private thing. It's the same thing when talking about growning breasts, getting one's period, or even doing poorly on a Math test. One doesn't wish to release information that can be used against them for teasing purposes.
10. I think basically male masturbation is more "accepted" in the society than female masturbation. Thats because its still a man´s world. Female´s are still just there to pleasure the men (in some men´s eyes) and we´re not allowed to enjoy sex. Its really sad. Also I think its easier for men to masturbate, because there´s also more media on that, where everybody knows what male masturbation is - not everybody knows how females actually masturbate. And everytime you dont know something about a subject, you reject it. Thats just huma
11. It's not embarrassing, and it shouldn't be. If men aren't embarrassed about it, then why should women be?
12. Masturbation used to be an embarrassing topic for me because all the other girls I knew thought it was "gross". It's been difficult talking with female friends about it because most girls deny the fact that they masturbate and instead say it's "gross" or "disgusting". I overcame this embarrassment by realizing that almost everyone does it, because it's a part of life. And although many girls say they don't do it and think it's "gross", they do it too. I think masturbation should not be embarrassing for young females because it's a part of life and growing up. Everyone experiments with different things, so why shouldn't females too?
13. It's only embarrassing to me if we talk about it together, and i mean offline friends. I can talk to online friend about anything but with offline friends, they find masturbation gross and all. I just go along with it and I don't care. I dont think masturbating is bad. It shouldn't be embarrassing because we all do it. although a lot of us are afraid to admit it (I dont understand why though)
14. Because they all start giggling and acting immature. They avoid the subject or lie about not doing it. It shouldn't be embarrassing for young females because it's only natural, and since when are we supposed to be embarrassed about that? Besides, guys brag about it all the time, we're not inferior so why can't we?
15. i don't find it embarrassing.
16. I'm being serious here.. why do YOU care so much? HUH?
17. I'm fine with it because its totally healthy thing, and girls and boys shouldnt worry to much about it
18. It's embarrassing because everyone knows that the smell is different for girls than it is for guys. Sometimes girls have things like discharge or their periods and other people automatically assume that if a girl masturbates, she does it at all times, even when she's having those issues. People sort of subconsciously judge it as being more perverted and dirty for a girl to do it than for a guy because of those issues.
19. Due to the fact that in our society men and women are not considered equal, talk of things such as masturbation is not considered appropriate for females. For me, masturbation is not something that people just tend to talk about. It's like the way in which people would rather discuss sex than virginity. It's one of those things. It just seems to be a very private or taboo subject. When you do somoething like that, you seemed to be labled.
20. Masturbation is a very personal thing. It is how you get to know yourself better. Some people get easily embarrassed by it. I overcame my embarrassment when I realized maturbation is a healthy and normal thing.
21. I think it relates to the idea that all girls should be wholesome and ladylike and that masturbation seems to detract from this image. Not very long ago, women weren't even supposed to enjoy sex. They had sex to please their husbands and that was it. I think that today's society still falls back on these principles every now and then. Especially on issues like this. Of course, women shouldn't be embarrassed by it, but the fact is, most are brought up to be.
22. Cuz in the bible it says not to.
23. I feel embarrassed by masturbation because it is not something that my friends do, and it is not something that I feel I need to do. The thought of masturbation disturbs me, even though I know it is a natural thing to do.. I just feel that it is not something I need to do, or even want to do.
24. it's not so much "embarrasing", but more of a taboo if a woman does. a woman is seen as a over sexed hussy cause she self explores herself. i think its healthy but i still worry about how others will preceive me if i came out and said i masturbate. my man has already said to me that he feels cheated if i do. really silly i think.
25. I have been trying to overcome the embarrassment. I only have a problem with it if it is front of someone else. my boyfriend masurbates and has no problem with it but if I do it in front of him it's like all eyes on me. the focus and attention is on me and that makes me timid and shy. I don't want the focus to be on myself.
26. It should not because I feel it is as natural for a female to do as a male to do. It has been emberassing to me because it is not a greatly accepted concept. I over came it after reading on the internet about other people talking about it and not worried about it, etc.
27. I am not embarrassing about masturbating, and haven't ever been. Other young girls shouldn't be either because I think its natural.
28. I think that masterbation is embarrassing because women are supposed to be pure and what ever. They also are more shy than men are and I think that might have something to do with it.
29. It isn't embarrassing, only being caught is.
30. Masterbation should not be embarrassing for girls. It's just something to do. It's better then going out and sleeping with 15 men just to get pleasure.
31. Amoungst my female and male friends, we can talk pretty openly about this topic, but to actually admit that I masterbate is something I perfer to keep to myself. Men masterbate all the time, and they freely admit that. I feel that females have to maintain a certain perception, such as the "good girl" type. Otherwise, they could be viewed as "skanky".
32. To me, its a natural thing and nobody should make u feel bad about it, and there should be no reason for you to be embarrassed. I have never been embarrassed, maybe a bit shy towards talking about it, but everybody does it and it shouldn't be seen as different if you are female or male. It should NOT be regarded as anthing BUT normal behaviour.
33. umm never done it...never really brought up the subject... I dont think it should be embarrassing because people act the way they want and i dont really care who does it or not.
34. its just i never have masturbated.. and im sure my friends dont either. since i am embarrassed of talking about masturbation i dont know the reason why this is not embarrassing.
35. Its embarising because most people talk negatively about it. LIke when im with my friends or something there feel really iffy about sex like ew lesbian ew this when i dont really care about it. I havent overcame my embarrassment yet but i believe i will soon...personally, i dont give a damn what nebody thinks as long as im happy
36. masturbating has never been embarrassing to me simply for the reason that i believe that it's something personal that you should deal with not with anybody else, but yourself. so there isnt any reason to feel embarrassed about it.
37. i have never masterbated..
38. well i think its more embarrassing for females cus they actually have to llike almost go insite there bodys. different for males. you shouldnt be embarresed about it because its better then having sex at 13.
39. Guys do it. People know it. Nobody really talks about girls doing it. So it's embarressing to mention it.
40. No comment
41. I dont feel embarrassed about it, its natural but I wont talk to anybody about it because I think its too personal. I'm not ready to open myself that much to someone when its so easy for them to run and go tell somebody else. It shouldn't be embarrassing because I think sexuality starts to become a part of puberty and you can't really esacpe it and I don't think anybody, even religion, should tell you it's wrong!
42. It was embarrassing because I didnt know how many people did it, if it was an average thing do to, if it was plain WRONG. It hasnt really, because my female friends masturbate too, or are mature enough to not say a word about it if I talk to them about me. Just being confident in myself, not caring really if others want to call me names for it. It shouldnt be embarrassing because its just natural, its pleasurable and does no harm.
43. hey, its me, was our conversation the cause for you making this?? lol
44. People are embarresed because it is sexual. None of my friends masturbate, at least none of them told me they do.
45. I dont honestly know. Because other people think it's weird or somthing
46. I thought masturbation was wrong. I did it once when I was 12 but then I felt really bad about it, so I didn't do it until I was 17, and a lot more mature and informed about sexuality. I don't care now, and I think it's something natural, relaxing and all that stuff. If it's natural then it shouldn't be embarrassing, but I can understand why some girls prefer to avoid the topic. I really don't care, heh. It's not like the masturbation have something to do with the personality or something, it means nothing. I think it's a private thing and if you want to talk about it, it's cool. If you don't, then it's fine too.
47. Shouldn't be, because it's natural and healthy.
48. its only embarrasing because its meant to be a private thing. thats the way society made it. It shouldnt be embarrasing. e may feel embarrased
49. i think the reason masturbating is embarrassing to me is bc i grew up in a christian home with christian friends who think its wrong to masturbate. It shouldnt be embarrisng,i htink its totally healthy and it can help when it comes to sex.
50. Masturbating is normal and most people do it. That is why i'm not emberrassed about it anymore. Why I realized that "all my friends are doing it" there wasn't anything to be embarrased about. I never really talked about it until I had a friend who was very open about sex and female sensuality. And since she wasn't embarrassed about it, why should I be? I can talke about it with her, but never with other close-minded people.
51. im not embarrassed by it
52. when i was younger it was embarrassing to talk about it, because everyone was all weird about it at age 12-14. as i got older, it was easier to talk about it with friends, and i realized that it was a totally normal thing, and i'm not embarrassed to talk about it now. i think girls (also boys) should be educated by their parents and schools about these things. masturbation is a normal thing, everybody does it, even when they say they dont. sex doesnt get any safer, than when you're doing it by yourself.
53. it's one of those things that comes in time...some people are ready for it earlier than others; it usually depends on the environment that you've been brought up in
54. I dont think it's really been embarrassing. It hasnt been difficult to talk about it with female friends either. I don't think it should be embarrassing either. It's not for guys, it happens all the time; it shouldn't be for girls either.
55. I've been embarrassed because it isn't natural to some people. I guess it makes me feel dirty. I never usually talk about it to friends. I have never admited to doing it to anyone. I should not be embarrassing to young females, but the society has made it that way.
56. I'm not embarrassed. It's human nature, probably every woman to walk the earth has.
57. I don't think masturbating is embarrassing for girls at all. I think it should be treated fair since males do it too.
58. because it has to do with certain "areas"? haha
60. It's shouldn't... but it's hard to admit it. It's completely natural, but no girl wants to seem like a nympho to her friends..
61. I have no comments. Sorry.
62. its normal for teenagers who are going through hormonal changes.
63. It's kinda weird to talk about among my friends. Cause it make it sound like you want to have sex.
64. I don't find it embarrassing. I don't talk about it with my female friends because the topic doesn't come up too often. It does with my guy friends but it doesn't embarrass me because they do it a few times a week. I do it now and then. I had a boyfriend for 2 years that while i was changing and felt urges could satify my needs. I think girls have this image that is set by the public that girls are suppost to be polite and perfect and not have any "dirrty" secrets. and so young girls feel that it's wrong and they should be punished. But it's not true. It also depends where you live too. Now a days I find that ages 15 and up aren't embarrassed to talk about it. On message boards you find posts about it and people are proud about it. It just depends on who you talk to. And how exposed the girls are to sexual content...as in people talking / doing it etc...
65. well i did for the first time this year and not to mention i have become obsessed with porn. its hard to talk about it because i think it makes me weird even though i am pretty sure others do too. what i am worried about is the percent who dont, and since you dont know who those are, it is hard to talk about.
66. It's never really been difficult to me whatsoever... i just never really found interest in it.. and never really liked doing so. I find a lot more pleasure in having sex...and since my boyfriend and i are almost always together.. i guess i don't need to masturbate
67. i've never masterbated.
68. I didn't evne know females masturbate
69. I have never masturbated before, and I've never really thought about it. I don't know many people that do.
70. To me, masturbating seems to be a flaw. I don't do it much because I don't feel I have to. But saying that you do as a girl just seems trashy. I find it gross and if I admit I do it, I will see myself as gross. So I choose not to admit it.
71. I think that it's embarrassing mostly to admit to it, or thinking about getting caught. Other girls make a big deal of it being dirty and gross, so you can never tell them if you do it cause they'll probably think your dirty. I don't really know why it's embarrassing to admit to it to boys, probably because the fact that your pleasuring yourself is just odd. I have never overcome this embarrassment, atleast not yet. Masturbating should not be embarrassing for young females because it is completely natural. It isn't dirty, its just exploring yourself. And if guys can do it without getting teased, girls should too.
72. I'm not very sure what it is.
73. It was embarrassing to me because it had to o with sex and growing up. It's also a private matter. It hasn't been difficult, per se, just hesitant. How I came over my embarrassment is realizing masturbation is natural and quite obviously, I am not the only one curious. It should not be embarrassing because, like I said before, it's natural.
74. Um its just embrassing.
75. I've never been embarrassed of masturbation. It's completely a normal part of human nature. There shouldn't be any shame about wanting to make yourself feel good, whether it's emotional or physical. It is easier for me to talk about the topic more with guys than girls, but it's easier for me to talk to guys more than girls about everything, regardless of what it's about.
76. Erm...well it's kind of embarrassing, when female friends say they've never done it. I don't think it should be embarrassing for young females because you hear males talking about how they masturbate all the time, so why should it be different for females!
77. it hasn't been embarrasing
78. Female masterbation is not openly discussed among people in society. Many females do not admit to it. I have found that women in general do not discuss in detail their sexual experiences;I think that it is because of the negative view society has on sexually active women that many issues are not discussed. I also think that women worry a lot more about being judged. I overcame it through my own development of maturity. I came to realize that masturbation is just a part of sexuality. I think that it should not be emabarassing for females to discuss masterbation; I think that it allows a person to become familiar with their own body; thus allowing them to decide what they do like and they are able to become more comfortable with their sexuality.
79. masturbation is a difficult subject to talk about because nobody talks about it. when i started opening up to my friends, i realized they are all exactly like me.
80. i think it shouldnt cuz sum ppl do talk bout it and its natural so theres nuttin to be ashamed of really
81. I think that teen sexuality, in general, isn't NEARLY talked about enough in school or in the home and thats what makes it difficult for teens to relate on things that are in crutial need of explaining in this society. -CMS
82. Masturbation hasn't ever been embarrassing for me. I mean everyone (or almost) will do it sooner or later so what the point of being embarrassed?
83. Masturbaing is not embarrassing to me. It's natural. I just don't tell anyone about it. It's hard to talk about masturbation to my female friends because they might think I'm weird. But we have no problems talking about sex. It's weird. I still haven't overcame this embarrassment. Females shouldn't feel embarrassed about masturbation. After all, it's only natural. And we know guys do it all the time!
84. I think it was embarasing because my mom and dad are separated and i dont really like my step mom and i dont really like to talk to my dad about those things cause i dont feel conftorble and i dont think it should be embarasing cause its just a part of life its nothing you can contorl