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Any Single Men Here Seeing Married Women?


Blondee

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What exactly do you mean "seeing"? Like dating or being friends, because a single man {or married for that matter} should never date a married woman, {exept if he is the one she is married to} But I am sure that some knowingly do anyways, although I am sure they are not proud of it.

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I agree with you Heathcliff. I was involved with a married woman and at the time, I was married also. I got divorced, her husband found out, so she was in the process of a divorce. She lost her house and moved back in with her parents, along with her two kids. Well, she was with me for almost two years, only to tell me a few weeks ago that she was breaking up with me because she still had feelings left for her ex. I don't think her divorce ever went through, but that was her reason for leaving me. It started out bad and in the end, she spoke to me like I was her biggest adversary. It was hard to take, but I have moved on. I lost my condo and now am living with my parents. I'm back on my own two feet and have found someone who is a sweetheart, has no attachments, and treats me in a way like I have never been treated before.

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I should probably start another topic, but I feel like I should share my experience at least. It's the most complicated situation that I've ever dealt with. The woman I got involved with, I'll call her Catherine, is married to a good friend of mine. She claims to be happily married and from all appearances, I believe she is. We have both been married to our partners for the past 4 years and together with them for 5 years prior to marrying them. I was not so happy with my relationship with my wife. After many conversations with Catherine, we became very close and eventually she fell in love with me. This happens to be a pattern I'm quite accustomed to (women in another relationship falling for me). I finally approached my wife about how unhappy I was and offered her the chance to help me work on things between us. That's a whole other story. Our inability to communicate and share things with each other led to things becoming so bad. Anyway.... I'm on the verge of cutting off all contact with Catherine outside social gatherings. I could go on and on about how wonderful I think she is, but it's best for everyone if we stop seeing each other. It will give me the time and energy I need to focus on my marriage and it will allow her to do what she needs to do with her marriage. She says she loves me and is confused about her feelings since she loves her husband just as much. I figure she needs to give him the opportunity to give her whatever it is she thinks she gets from me. HAHAHAHA... there's so much more to this than what I've shared, but I think you get the picture. Getting involved with someone who is already in a commited relationship is not good.

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I'm a married woman that got herself involved in an emotional affair with a single man recently. Its funny how things turn out. I was confiding to a friend about serious problems with my marriage. I just found out 2 months ago that my husband had a sexual affair with someone he met on the internet. As much as I love my husband so much and want to work it out (we also have kids), its just been so hard to even think he'd be faithful to me or that I'd ever trust him.

 

I was so devastated I found myself trying to talk to anyone...friends that I haven't even seen or talked to since I got married. One of my friends was there to listen to me and I have always thought he was such a sweetheart. Any girl would be so lucky to have him but for some reason he just hasn't been lucky in love. I fear that I've gotten just a little too close but he has given me so much more than my husband has offered to me in our entire relationship. There's no sex involved but I know that its something that will come very soon as that seems like what we both want from each other.

 

I know this is a really bad situation and I hate myself for thinking about doing the same thing my husband did to me. I'm trying so hard to find a way to just end it but I just really don't want to lose my friends friendship as well.

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Peanut,

 

I suggest that you try to work out things with your husband before you go any further with this other man emotionally. Either mend your marriage or end it. I made the mistake of getting involved before ending my marriage and in the end, I ended up with nothing. I am slowly getting back on my two feet, but it is a slow process.

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Jesus! I know exactly how all you guys feel. i'm married and cheating with a married woman as well.....I can't believe that I am putting my entire family on the line for this other woman. And yet, I keep coming back for more. Am I stupid enough to think that anything Good can come out of this relationship? No, and yet I continue....Right now it seems that she has all the power......When i see her talking to other men at work it just drives me up the wall....My heart aches..it really does.....I got to rediscover my family and forget this B*tch(Excuse my french) for my mental health.......

 

Why do we as a species always want what we can't have?

 

I need to following the Immortal Words of Science officer Spock: Wanting is not as good as having. It's illogical but true!

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  • 2 years later...

This is a bad situation to be in...I agree...my story comes from a friend who I have known for 5 years...she went off with her husband to another state (military reasons) and came back home after a 2 year stay in the state where they were in (husband was stationed in Korea). She came back and feelings for each other where always there but we never shared them with each other. We meet up hang out, and do the "do" and fall madly in love with each other. She states she loves both of us and of course is choosing her marriage. I agree this is a bad situation and I need to just let this go...so hard when you love a person so much though.

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I've been living a fractured fairy tale for the last 2 years. Crossed paths with my first love from high school and college, after we had not had contact for 20 years. Her husband is a great guy, and yes I've gotten to know him since seeing her. He has no idea that she sees me anywhere from once to twice a week. Do I feel guilty? Well yes and no. I like the guy and don't want to see him get hurt, but mt feelings for her trump all of that. In my head, she was mine first and really always will be. As good looking as her husband is, as successful as he is, as well as he treats her, she cheats on him behind his back. She says she loves both of us, but I have my doubts. She can profess her love for her husband to her grave, but she still has yet to explain why she would risk destroying him like this. To show you how twisted this has gotten at times, she became pregnant shortly after we became intimate again. No I don't think it's mine but nothing is for certain. The kid looks like her and the only part of him I see in the baby are the blue eyes. During her entire pregnancy, she was having sex with me twice a week, right up to a week before she had the baby.

 

In my mind, there's something missing for her with him. There has to be! How could a woman sleep with another man, me, her entire pregnancy? I've never heard of such a thing and certainly never expected to be part of something like this, but I am. Since the baby, things have slowed down a little bit, we see each other only once every 5 to 10 days, with an occasional twice a week mixed in from time to time.

 

The sex is incredible between us, she's said it more than a few times to me. So on one hand I have this drop dead gorgeous woman having sex with me about once a week, but on the other hand it's a nightmare. In the 2 times I've seen her drunk she has said a few things that haunt me. Things like she never should of left me while I was in college, that she can't hurt him which I took a hidden meaning from. She's already hurting him by just being with me so that can't be what she was referring to. I think she meant that she couldn't leave him because it would crush him.

 

Should I walk away? Of course I should but I can't, I've tried and have given her many opportunities to end this thing quietly, she never takes them. Am I waiting for her? No. I'd love to meet someone that I could care about as much as I care for her, but try as I have, I just don't see much out there right now. I have to admit, I do want to see her reaction when threre is a real threat of her losing me forever to someone else. Though she has no intention of leaving her marriage, I'll never really know until she sees me exclusively dating another woman. She's being greedy right now and I am too. As cold as it may sound, I feel no real guilt about her huband. I'm not the one that made him any promises and she was the one that re-initiated the sexual component of relationship. I do want her for myslef but really have no hand to play to make that happen. I love being with her and hate it at the same time. It's like a drug. I get high when I'm with her and get down when she has to return home. Not a good situation to be in, but it is what it is.

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One of my friends was there to listen to me and I have always thought he was such a sweetheart. Any girl would be so lucky to have him but for some reason he just hasn't been lucky in love.

Unlucky in love? It could very possibly be that he hasn't had success in his relationships because he has a thing for emotionally unavailable women such as yourself.

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What gives with the shovel comment? Not really sure what you meant by the comment. If you are inferring that my post was untrue, be rest assured it's very true. Amazing how someone passes a judgement on someone they never met and don't know.

 

I never meant to imply the situation was untrue. Simply, I wanted to point out the whole situation was B.S.

 

But your defensiveness over the validity of the story does raise my eyebrow.... now.

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Believe me, I wish at times it was all B.S. and have kicked myself in the A** many times for opening this Pandora's box. Some things are left better unknown and this whole affair is one of them. You want to know what true pain is? It's seeing someone you truly loved and still love, living her life with someone else. All the while knowing that with all things being equal, she'd be with you in a heartbeat. As much as it frustrates me and angers me at times, I understand her position to a certain degree. She has a great life, he treats her like a princess, his family is great with her especially his Father who is always over the house helping out with things and babysitting the kid. She would decimate her husband if he ever found out and decimate his family, which is very close and very involved in their lives. If I were in her positon I couldn't do what she is doing and look at my spouse in the face, yet she seems to hold no remorse or no guilt about any of this. And, I certainly wouldn't be able to leave my spouse, especially after how good they've been to me and how good their family has been to me. I sometimes wished the guy was a jerk, then she'd be with me, permanently, in the blink of an eye; but he's not. I'm not proud of any of this and it sucks having to hide and sneak around. What I hope for the most is that I meet someone that I can fall in love with and make a clean break from this. Yes, we're close as far as talking on the phone a lot, going to a movie or concert, and she's told me things about her life that she hasn't even told her husband, things that only her Mother and Father knew. So yes, it's a fractured fairy tale to me. Here is this woman that I love, who I am intimate with, who is being dangled right under my nose, yet I can't have her. That is maddening at times and the only B.S. part about it is that I knew what I was getting into when we started this thing; she never promised me anything more than what we have right now. But the often said, "I love you" lines, are hard to hear coming from her. As much as I try to understand her position, it's human nature to think, "well if you love me so much then why aren't you with me instead of your husband". I'd never ask her to leave him because that sword cuts both ways. That's a decision that she'd have to arrive at on her own without any prodding from me. This thing has shut me down at times to points where I ignore her and avoid her, and given how much I care for her, it's painful to try and walk away from someone you care for, and not being strong enough to cut the ties for good. I'm not complaining, it's my fault and it comes with the territory of getting involved with a married person. I'm just trying to show people contemplating putting themselves in the position that I'm in now, that it is a very bad idea!!! You are always the odd man out, and you are guarenteed to get your heart broken whenever and however it ends.

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I would never mess around with a married woman.

 

I second that. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me, and second of all, I would know that there is probably no future with someone who would do something like that. After all, if they cheated on their husband, the chances are pretty good that they will cheat on you too.

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I second that. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me, and second of all, I would know that there is probably no future with someone who would do something like that. After all, if they cheated on their husband, the chances are pretty good that they will cheat on you too.

 

ding, ding, ding.........

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My husband of more than 11 years recently confessed that we have had no sex life for several years because he is addicted to porn -- I don't think I could have been more crushed if there had been another woman -- I is a real self-esteem crusher to find out that your spouse would rather masterbate to porn than have sex with you.

 

I work with mostly men and have plently of opportunity for affairs, until this happened I have never been tempted....I went on a business trip a few weeks ago and it was torture -- there was a man that I found myself very attracted to and even though nothing happened, I knew that he was interested. I really, really wanted to, my body physicially ached for this man. I can not tell you how enticing it was to have a handsome man look at me as a beautiful and desirable woman. I am not sure why I didn't do it, but I wonder what will happen next time.

 

Now I am angry at my huband for "cheating" and leaving me so open emotionally and physicially to other men.

 

BTW -- even though he says he has given up the porn and is going to a 12-step program, he still has no interest in me sexually. I guess it is my bruised ego, but I feel compelled to add that I am a really attrative woman.

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I am not judgemental and do realize that infidelity and phalandering do happen. It's hurtful, unfair, deceitful, wrong. But it happens. And when it does, there's nothing more destructive for all the parties involved. Even if there is no discovery, the guilt and the impossibility of the secondary relationship are posinous to the soul. That * * * * eats you alive.

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  • 5 months later...

I am single and have been involved with a married woman for the last 4 and a half months. I have known her for 13 years and she was married before I met her. For the last 10 years she has been my best friend and I discussed everything with her. Girls, friends, and also some limited detail on her marriage problems. I have never believed in things just happen but it did. I tried to end it several times but the hurt of ending it seems just much more than the hurt of knowing that we will probably never be together. If I can give my bit of advice is to stay away. I am trapped in a relationship that goes nowhere. I have tried to see other girls but I can not stop thinking of this woman. It feels like I am cheating on her if I do. I know she loves me but I don't know if she loves me or if I am in a position to give her certain things that is lacking in her marriage. She has admitted to me that she is not sure either of what the reasons for her attraction to me is. I know that we both had feelings for quite some time before we formally started the affair but never wanted to admit it. Some days I feel really happy but days like today I am really depressed. Every now and then I realise that I will stay number 2. It is not a healthy situation. I know what the right thing will be to do but I just cannot get so far as to do it. I think the biggest fear for me is to lose my best friend I have had for 13 years. I know I will never ever have a friend like that again. I have a lot of great friends but no one comes close. All I know is that it really, really, really hurts. The worst thing is that I have no one to talk to about this. The worst thing for a single person in this kind of relationship is that you require different things. A single person is probably looking for a mate/ companion whatever you would like to call it but a married person is probably tryinig to make up for problems in his/her marriage by having an extra marital affair. Sometimes I get the feeling it is to have the feeling of falling into love all over again. In my case we almost try to have a "proper" relationship when we can. Doing things like going to the movies, to dinner and of course there is the sex part as well. I just don't know how to gather the strength to make the hurt go away. Final word of advice. STAY AWAY. It is a lot harder when you are to deeply involved.

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