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Thread: single guy who cheated with married woman?

  1. #1
    GymSweetie
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    single guy who cheated with married woman?

    Hi,
    I would like to know how a single guy who cheats with a married woman might think & feel. Let's say maybe you have some commitment issues & you don't think you can love b/c you're afraid all women are out to trap you forever. So, you decide a married woman is a safe bet b/c she is already taken and thereforeeee cannot possibly be a threat to your freedom, but then you, surprise! "accidentally" fall in love with her. I would like to know especially how you then feel about her husband, do you arbor anger, guilt or jealousy for him...ever think about her sleeping with him & would your pride not be bothered by knowing that the woman you love goes home to another man? Would you ever consider exposing the affair to your mutual friends or her husband & why?

  2. #2
    Day_Walker
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    If you were really affraid of commitment I dont see why you would only limit yourself to married women as long as you could keep the relationship casual there wouldnt be a problem. Guilt is less of an issue than what her husband would do if he found out. Married women cheat for specific reason typically because they are being neglected by their husband's and most of the time it is emotional. If you start an emotional relationship with a married women then the relationship will be volitile because all the passion that her husband isnt giving her she will be getting it from you. This has its good and bad points but usually the volitility becomes a problem. However if the relationship is purely sexual and resembles more a of booty call situation then it is more lucrative. However it is rare to have that happen. In the ideal situation it would be more about bangin than a relationship outside of the marriage. Like I said that situation is rare because over time one of the parties tends to develop feelings.

  3. #3
    bzborow1
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    I would never seek a relationship beyond physical with a married woman because if she can cheat with you...she can cheat with the next guy.

  4. #4
    Fancy111
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    womens view

    I was in a sim. situation but both of us were married. Our sit. was purely sexual though. We were getting close and he said it was because of our chemistry we had in bed. For me I had to back off because I felt my self wanting to see him more. So I do agree that eventually the man or the women start to get emotionally attached. Because how could you be so compatible one way and not the other, and we always want what we can't have right.

  5. #5
    debbieh
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    I did exactly the same thing. I am commitmentphobic and so by definition I tend to want unattainable men.
    I started having an affair with a man who was already attached. The sex was great, so passionate and it wasn't long before I fell in love. The affair lasted about 18 months and it ruined me.
    The thought of them together would make me sick, and I was constantly his second choice after his partner.

    Do you want her to leave her partner? Do you want her to be with you? Is there any sign whatsoever that this will actually happen?

    If you do love her and want to be with her and she is quite content to stay where she is then I think you need to get out of this. I know it's easier said than done, like I said, it took me 18 months, but you will feel better about yourself in the long run.

    Sure it will hurt at first, but how long can you put up with being secondbest before it starts to affect your wellbeing. It certainly took away my selfconfidence and happiness. You may not realise it, but it will be affecting you. Dont you constantly feel like you're not really worthy of her? don't you feel like you are her dirty little secret? Not good enough to be her partner publicly? Don't you feel a little sad that she is hiding your relationship from the world? And doesn't it make you sick to your stomach to think that she is able to give all of these things to another man and not you.
    I didn't take me all that long to start feeling all of this. I eventually found the courage in myself to stand up and say "I am too good to be anybodys second-best, I come first!!"

    Because of learning how destructive it can be to my soul, it is something that I am so glad I got out of, and it is definitely something I will never do again. I will be somebody's first or nothing.

  6. #6
    sunnyp
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    Cheating

    Your Treading on DANGEROUSE GROUNDS! Men don't forgive affairs. Remember Nichole Brown and Ron Goldman? You could become another Ron Goldman.
    Sunny

  7. #7
    my2sense
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    I hope you will read this

    Only you can make the decisions for yourself, but listen to the voice of reason, please. I have cheated on a spouse and been cheated on by a spouse. I know many people who have done this. I have played this game both married and single, all many years ago, but nonetheless absolutely NONE of the relationships I was involved in, married, single, cheater or cheatee worked, NONE of them. It cost me time, which I can never get back, pain that has left me still wounded, money, that has set me back so far, I may never catch up. Was it worth it... NO Get away from her NOW... Not only did none of my relationships in these matters ever work, I don't know anyone's whose did. Like the song says, what's love got to do with it... believe me, absolutely nothing. Find a nice single lady and move on.

  8. #8
    Mike_Wazowski
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    I can actually feel the Passion in many of the responses here....Powerful!

    As a married man cheating with a married woman, I can only say that it is pretty impossible to just keep the relationship on a purely physical level...

    I may have some feelings for this woman, but I could never and would never trust her. And I'm sure she feels the same about me. For example, if i saw her with another guy from work having a coffee or something, i would be thinking that she may be getting busy with this guy as well.....

    You know something...I'm at work right now...Some other guy is talking to her right now, they're laughing.....having a grand ole time..........

    Man am I a dumbazz.....I thought that cause I put my family on the line to be with her, that it would mean something to her....from what I am looking at now with her laughing with another guy, I was DEAD WRONG!

    I think the poster who said that no good thing can come out of an affair hit the nail right on the head.

    It's over for me! But it hurts! help me!

  9. #9
    shyanne
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    yes you are a dumbazz. so you think that just because a woman is talking and laughing with another guy that she must be sleeping with him! do you talk with other women, do you smile and maybe laugh. give me a break dude........................ your promblem is jealousy. AND just because a women cheats once doesn't mean she will continue cheating, maybe she doesn't have a sex life with her husband and just maybe its been like that for many years now. women cheat for a reason, men cheat for no reason or because they think with the wrong head!

  10. #10
    Mike_Wazowski
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    It's funny....since I posted my post, I totally got my head on straight and dumped the married woman I was seeing so that I can try to better my own marriage.....Now, a few weeks after, I read your response to my post and I'm just sitting here laughing....at myself...

    My point was that anyone who cheats can't be trusted..and that my friend is 100% fact. If they lie to their husband/wife..then they will totally lie to their Lover as well.....

    Listen..spare me the BS about woman cheat for 'A Reason' and men 'cheat for no reason'...When it comes to cheating, both are equally guilty and cheating is cheating....no one gives a crap what her reasonn was for doing it....And there is no excuse for it.....I'm kicking myself in the head(Big head) everyday for being so stupid as to think I could find love in the arms of another woman when it was staring me in the face all the time from my family......

    Enough said...peace!

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