Why do I feel so alone in this world =/

Why do I feel so alone in this world. Why cant good things ever happen to me without bad things right behind it? It's getting so bad that everytime something good does happen I cant even get excited or enjoy it because I am thinking what bad thing is going to happen. I cant make any new real friends because of things that happened to me in the past that has left me scard for life.

The only real friend I have I am slowly losing him because of his new relationship. I guess you could say I am jelous because his gf is stealing my only friend I have that has helped me get through most these years. He is too blinded by love to understand/see how I feel. She's changing him into someone I am starting to despise because she wasnt happy with the way he was. He's made so many sacrfices for her but she doesnt want to make any for him. Ever since he started dating her he was acting different. We would make plans to do something and then he would later make up some excuse (lie) to get out of our plans. Everytime we would want to do something he'd have to tell her what we were doing. If you refer to my past post you'd understand more of this situation.

I use to be very social when I was younger and had lots of confidence in myself. But over the last 7-8 years I became completely anti-social and kept everything to myself. I lost touch with the world and my interests. I use to be very involved in sports and now I am a very lazy person. I cant even strike a conversation anymore because I have no idea what to talk about. I have no hobbies or real interests that I can share amongst my peers without being affraid that I will be humiliated. I also became a very paranoid person because of past experiences which has left me completely affraid of people. No matter who it is I go through my mind thinking how this person is going to hurt or offend me. I no longer can judge someone by their outside and am always left affraid to find out who they really are, because there are alot of two faced people in this world. I'm too affraid to go out and try and make friends and go to parties because I have no sense of direction so I'm affraid if I were wasted I wouldnt know how to get home, or even if I'm not wasted I would still end up getting lost because the lack of my sense of direction.

People walk all over me, even if I dont do anything to them just because I am skinny. All these bigger guys think they can just walk all over me. I mean some of them do it as a joke but still I cant stand up for myself because I am always affraid things will get out of hand. You never know how someone will react. In todays world alot of people carry weapons or just take things way to serious, I'm affraid to get physically hurt or die. Thoughts of suicide have run through my mind but I'm too much of a coward to actually go through it. I just cant seem to get my life on track and be happy and not worry all the time. I wish I could start over or atleast start back just before things went downhill and try and change some of my past mistakes.

I know I am not the only one who is depressed but I do know that no matter how many people there are like me, there are also alot out there that are living their lives care free not a worry in the world. I just wish I could be one of those people and actually live my life instead of wasting away in my lonleyness with all these regrets.

I would just love to hear some advice and even some similar stories with a happy ending to them and how they managed to get their lives on track, I am starting to feel like I am at the point of a breakdown seeing as I am most likley going to lose my one and only friend

Blayzed4life, if you have AIM, contact me and we'll have a chat. I've done that, been there.

I dont have AIM, just MSN.

You have a PM.

yea dude i used to be in your same shoes when i first came into high school. I was scared because i was really small too. My friends were horrible, and more or less used me as a stepping stone. I was alone, in a big highschool, and scared.

The first thing i did was join the golf team, which i learned i was pretty good at. That where i met my friend, who wasnt shy at all, and litterally called me to his house to hang out the first day. That brought up my confidence, and allowed me to talk more to other people. It also allowed me to get more up-front with my current "friends".

I started going to the gym more, i found it really relaxing to be able to think about everything there while doing stuff. I then would walk home thinking about everything. I got more confidence as i stopped hanging out with my "friends" and got real ones.

My suggestion is to get a hobby that you like, maybe join a sports team. You will find people there who are a lot like yourself, and you can eisily become friends with them.

I have the same problem it's hard finding people you share interests with and people that are going to be there when you need them. What would you really like to do more than anything? Maybe you could learn about that or if its moving to another country or something expensive then start saving and you will have something you like to look forward too! You'll find people with similar interests and find no problem talking about it It's hard esp when you feel lonely, but please stay positive and do whatever it takes to make *you* happy.

Believe it or not, the internet is a great place to build knowledge, confidence, and strong foundations for relationships.

I have cyber-friends that I have been talking to everyday for years!

Find an interest. Not something you already do. Find something you've always wanted to try, but never got round to doing. Then, go to MSN Groups, and search for a group affilated with your chosen hobby.

As you will be a novice, there's gonna be a ton of people, all willing to help out the n00b!

Trust me, it works; I just took up Airsofting as a hobby, and have already met loads of new friends.

Another way to meet people would be, of course, to pick a specialist interest.

Say, for example, near where you live, there are all your normal stores, but there are also a few small, odd ones; ones that nobody really goes in on a regular basis. For me, it was named Oriental Arts, specialising in Chinese/Japanese calligraphy. I had always wanted to try this, so I went in, and had a chat with the owner. I bought some stuff, and left. The next weeked, I went back in, and they were having a group lesson in calligraphy. The owner, recognising me, invited me over, and I soon had made 10 or 12 friends, 3 or 4 of which I would now class as 'Best' friends!

Hope this babble helps!

XxX-Ben-xXx

On the subject, a previous poster mentioned a gym. Excellent idea. When working out, you become so focused on what you are doing (especially when doing weights) that you simply blank out all your problems. Not to mention, at a gym, you will be forced to meet people, which again isn't a bad idea. And nothing bad can happen there. Worst case is you don't make a new friend at the gym, but begin gaining a physique, which should remove some of your fears.

Hope this helps.

I thought about maybe joining a gym, but do you think it would be smart to get a trainer? Cause I really dont have much experience with working out.

Hey I like you, I'm kinda lonley at the mo 2, but no-one would guess it, I've just come out of a long term relationship, and i ditched all my friends for my ex bf so my only friend is my sister, we were always best friends but didn't really hang out when I woz wit my fella. So I'm stuck waiting for her to invite me places, I have two other people talking to me now but they're both fellas who want to have sex with me, one has already succeeded on my last v.drunken nite. So I can't really talk to them about normal stuff they're always flirting and trying to have sex. God I just need a friend friend not a bf.

I'm also paranoid now that the fella I had sex with is gonna get bored and be after some1 else. Also had suicidal thoughts alot but wudn't do dat to my family. I'm just sooooo emotional, peops don't get it. It's so hard.

PS. I'll be an online buddy, I'm assumin your not from Ireland?

Yeah, at least people reply to your posts. That's a plus.

I know what you feel. I've been trying to shake off these feelings for years. Infact, your story sounds EXACTLY like mine. Word for word. Though there is more to my story. And I still feel that way. Today, I went online to see if I can find a close answer to my problem. I don't know what to do. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I don't know where else to turn. I've tried to be happy about things, hobbies, etc... But nothing works. I was so happy at one point. I thought I liked someone, then it turns out they just used me, which just shattered my whole world. Though I'm getting over it, death, distruction and problems follow me. I don't think I'm the type of person that wants anything in life anymore. I don't know. I'm just looking for guidence, even from ppl that I don't know. Or I rather have help from them. Because just ppl that I know... they don't help me at all. I end up feeling more miserable than what I first started.

things are never as bad as they seem

Wow... this is like reading about myself. 4 months ago my best friend for the past 8 years suddenly got his first gf. Now in the past when I had gone out with girls, I had NEVER compromised our friendship at all. But this girl has changed him into a completely different person. The funny thing is I was always the strong one in our friendship, and due to circumstance I happen to be the one left with nothing in this world to grasp - except family.

Our friendship has deteriorated so much now. I know if/when him and this girl break up, he will be left in a situation worse than mine. But the way he has treated me over the past 4 months while I have been going through hard times, I don't think he deserves my friendship when he falls. Hopefully by then I will be a more successful, confident person - and I'm trying to work my way there now. It's just so hard when you feel so alone.

Hi Blayzed4life, I think i have the solution to your problem. It might seem like something you never thought you could do, but neither did I when i first started. Plz here me out. Your looking for a sense of purpose arent you? something that will give you the strength and confidence to change your life for the better right? I felt similar to you at one stage in my life. I know how it feels to be pushed around, walked over and left feeling worthless and weak. When I was about 10-14 at school and when with the people i thought were my friends I got picked on, i wouldnt say i was bullied but i deffenitly felt that if i was bigger/stronger and had more confidence i could stand up for myself. I don't blame them. Being smaller I was an easy target. And because I took it and never really stood up for myself off course they were going to walk all over me, thats how life really is. Its not like i had no friends, the people that knew me liked me and on several occasions stuck up for me always askin after 'why dont you stand up for yourself' truth is like you i was afraid. Afraid that if i did it would escalate and i would make things worse than they were. Kids can be really cruel, they just dont know any better at that age.

Your here to get some advice, from someone whos been there and had a happy ending. Well my life in the past 5 years has completely turned around. I promise you, if you follow my advice and listen you will find happiness and a sense of purpose, and in the most unlikely way. I swear to you martial arts WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!!! I read your message and joined this site just to tell you because i really think you can benifit from it. Firstly in brief i'll tell you how it changed my life and then how it will change yours and how you can go about doing it. I frist started TAEKWONDO when i was about 15/16 and ive been loving it ever since, in fact i'd say im completely addicted to it and exercise in general. At first i wasn't any good to be honest, i thought id never be able to do this and it was going to be another waste of time. I trained twice a week and saw little improvment for the first month or so. But i stuck at it, simply because if you look at the front of the class you could see black belts doing these amazing kicks etc and as you look futher back you could see people at different levels (yellow to red belts) at different standards. So i knew this was something you had to work at. I knew that what you put into taekwondo you would get back (ie the longer you do it for the better you get) As time went by i got better, rose up through the belts. As my kicking skills improved, my addiction grew. I joined another club so i could train 3 times a week. Then a black belt came to our club who competed in the common wealths and came third, and thus i became interested in sparring. I wanted to compete. I joined a sparing class and was threw into the deep end. Im going to be honest with you i got kicked up and down that hall like a tin can. but i loved it. you see once you realise your not made of glass and pain isn't as bad as you thought it was you no longer become afraid!!!!! I was the only yellow belt in the sparring class, everyone else was black and had been to many competitions It took a while for me to get the hang of it. the key thing about all martial arts is that its a progression. theres always something to work on and improve, thus your always becomeing better, both mentaly and physically. I'm now blue belt, 6 down 4 to go. So what have i got out of it? well ive made tonnes of friends young and old. I'm in the best shape ive ever been, ive actally got a six pack and i owe it all to taekwondo!!! 5 years ago i couldn't have done 3 push ups now i can easily do 50. My legs are twice as strong im faster more agile, tougher, fitter, i have flexibilty that i never thought was possible, i'm better in every way!!! I have come 2nd and third in the two competitions ive entered so far, all losses to more experienced black belts. All this has given me a massive boost in confidence!! I'm not the type of person who likes to show off, or brag. Im only tellin you this for your benifit. There are alot of benifits from any martial arts but it is hard work but i can assure you that anyone and i mean anyone can do it if they want it bad enough. I don't go around acting the big man, i haven't picked a fight with anyone that used to pick on me, simply because i now know im better than them and i dont need to prove it. Word has spread and i'm now well respected. I no longer need to stand up for myself because they know i could put my foot in thier face in a blink of an eye. I would never NEVER lift my foot to anyone except in self defence similpy because it wouldn't be fair and i feel i would be abusing taekwondo and that would be dishonorable.

Now on to how it will help you, martial art clubs are a friendly place where you will meet people of all ages, all with the one goal, to become better. This puts you in the same boat as everyone you meet including your instructor!!! As all martial arts are a work in progress. As everyone is in the same boat its easy to make friends and strike up coversations (not during training tho). Your there to help each other, many of the routines and exercises involve working with a partner so you'll quickly get to know everyone. Its honestly like a large family, and i know this because ive trained in several different clubs and its the same atmosphere in each one. You have nothing to fear, at the start you may feel embarrassed if you can't do something (i did too) but you'll find everyone has strengths and weaknesses and just because your not that good at one thing you'll find something else you are good at. Also if its a large club there will be youngsters and old people all with different abilities. No one is made to feel bad and you will never ever be asked to do something your not capable off or dangerous. You have no need to fear anyone at a club as we all pledge to never abuse the art and to protect the weak and defenceless. I promise you within 3-4 weeks you'll feel right at home and you'll soon see the benifits that i saw. Now all you have to do is pick your martial art as there are loads to choose from. One to suit every body type! I highly recommend taekwondo but i would say that because it is my life now!!! They all have thier own strengths and benifits, and most you can compete in if you want to. Some people dont want to compete, and prefer to become a better all rounder than a specialist. Its completely up to you.

Please take my word as i have spent ages writing this, but i know how much it has changed my life and i want others to benifit too. Its important that even if you dont want to be a lean mean fighting machine thers just soooo many other benifits. Ive seen kids come to our club so painfuly shy they can't even look u in the eye never mind talk to you and within just 2 months they've gained mountains of confidence and never shy down if the instructor asks for a volunteer to demonstrate. Ive seen overwieght people waistlines shrink. Old people touch thier toe when they couldn't even put on socks. the weak become strong, the slow become fast. There just so much to be gained!!!! Martial arts are truly life changing and i think it exactly what you need.

I forgot to mention all the health benifits, regular exercise keeps both mind and body healthy. The strentching alone prevents sooo many health problems i couldn't possibly mention them all (arthritis and circulatory problems are the big ones). As does cardio exercise as it stregthens the heart and burns fat (preventing strokes and heart attacks). Your muscels will become stronger, which will prevent injuries particularly when older. Plus the fact you will be able to defend yourself and learn how to avoid confrontations whick could lead to injury.

You can find martial arts clubs at your school, local youth centre or leasure center (gyms etc). Karate and judo are brilliant martial arts as a kickboxing and jujitsu. Each one has its own strengths and are more suited to different bodytypes but there is something for everyone. If you need help in choseing one please let me know im more than happy to help. Below i will list other martial arts which i would love to try some day.

Muay tai

Pankration

Kung fu

Brazillian jujitsu

Kendo

Vale Tudo

Kenpo

Wrestling

Boxing

Tai chi

Silat

Aikido

Hapkido

Eskrima the list goes on!!!! try wikipeadia

Hey how you feeling now after all these years

When I found this and read it, I felt like I was reading about myself.

Believe me, I've been through the same situation. I have the same bad luck where I always have to watch out for my good times as a bad omen. I also have the bad luck where my best friends are being repelled from me in some type of thing. I never looked at it as though it was a bad thing though, I saw it as me holding them back and they hve finally moved on. I was happy for their success, but it seemed like I was expendable for it, though. I was once in a depression where I used some type of satanism. I was never good at anything, but making other lives better or worse. If their lives got better, then I was left alone. The opposite went the opposite. I shall embrace my inner hermit for the sake of others, I suppose. You can become the one you wish to be, but mind the costs. If you were a true friend, you would confront him personally about his girlfriend. If you want to be careless, then practice being careless, starting with fashion statements. If you wished, you could just as easily move back into your life by feeling what you like and what others do as well. Nothing would be accomplished if you just stood and watched as tme went by. You seem like the type that never took time to think, then suddenly you took spectating over action. Find out what went wrong, sometimes the answer takes a little bit of a walk or a talk to realize it, then fix it. Don't take your time with it, because this is a test of one's self. P.S. If this thing was already resolved before I said this, I apologize.

I completely understand how you feel but for different reasons...the crazy thing is that there are some good days here and there...I started working out intensely and maybe you can try a home workout plan like P90X. I think you would really like it. you would notice some significant changes which would boost your confidence. I used to party when i was younger and go out and even younger had guys by the bundle...i've gotten so sick of how men treat me and take advantage of my kindness that it makes me not want to even try anymore. It seems like you need to play a game to be in a relationship these days and im not a deceitful person so that doesnt exactly fit who i am. ever since i was young i wanted a family.. A loving husband and children. i think my family structure growing up made me want that so much more bcause itwasnt present then. I'm almost 30 and though that may not seem that old...woman should only have kids into there 30s..once you hit 40 it justisnt as safe..though this may not be relevent to you...it kills me to think that i may someday have to give up that dream...i know what it feels like to feel like no one in this world loves you...not even your parents...i do have a few friends that i consider close but i rarely see them mostly because of distance. i bought a puppy last year and he got me through one of the roughest times of my life...that little dude loves me no matter what...but its a dog... i know i'll never find a man that could ever possibly love me as i do him but alot would be good enough lol. I cry. A lot. i'm not as social as i was..not really at all..dont make eye contact with ppl... but that saddest thing is that..you would never know i feel the way i do inside cause i refuse to let anyone know i'm broken....i reallyhope you have found some happiness as i hope for anyone that feels as we do...i just look forward to the good days

take care

I have also had a bad year, one devastation after another. I have been crying so much I fear it is unhealthy. I don't want people I work with to know how bad I

feel. It is not easy to talk about despair and loneliness I understand about facing disappointment like anotherday18. I hope she finds some people she can trust. My life was ok, I was able to cope. Now I have so many sad days. I feel I am waiting for an answer, I want to know how to have hope in a pretty dismal situation. I feel for people who are suffering and have been mistreated.

Yeah, I know how that goes. It is the story of my life. You find a group a friends and slowly they get into relationships and do stuff together as couples and leave you out.

I have recently joined a meetup group, something I've always wanted to do and I went there and had fun. I meet some really nice people.

OMG I AM GOING THRU THE SAME THING , this guy i've been with him for 3 and a half years we had so much memories and so much fun he said he liked me so much , and after a couple of weeks he told me he got a girlfriend i acted like its okay he said she is an angel and stuff then i went back home i cried , i couldn't sleep i cutted my self tell i bleeded i really loved him i deleted his facebook and his msn .. one qustion did he leave that girl , please tell me we might be the same thing here