~*~MARRIAGE~*~

Please list the GOOD reasons to get married. From the smallest things, to the most obvious.

let me start off by saying we live together and have already had sex (obviously) so, you can leave those 2 out! lol

Let the listing begin:

Hello Aktrez,

Well these, in my opinion would be good reasons.

a - Because you're in love.

b - To make a commitment.

c - To start a family.

d - To celebrate. Because you want your family and friends to share with you in your happiness and commitment as a couple.

e - It's the right time. You have a solid and secure relationship and it feels like the logical next step.

f - It's part of your culture???? maybe

carter

hmm those are all good Carter.

I think I'm looking at more detailed reasons... Like... here are 2 we came up wtih last night:

A) Both having the same last night makes you even closer.. like family.

B) Having someone to come home to who you know loves you.

I know the whole "It's just what people do" wouldn't fly with matt. He's not one who is very big on conforming. That would honestly probably turn him off from it! lol

If you have to list reasons why marriage is a good thing, then i don't think you two are ready to get married. It's a choice people make. You can't choose your family(parents, siblings, etc.) but you can choose your spose. If one of you isn't ready or is questioning the act, then i think the problem isn't why marriage is good or bad, but why you both aren't on the same page of your relationship.

We are just talking about the good versus the bad. It's a healthy talk Star. I'm not asking for advice on my relationship here. I'm just asking for people to list the GOOD about getting married. That's all.

To be with someone in which you can find the true meaning of love

Someone to snuggle up to when you say goodnight

Someone to help you through the tough times in your life

Someone to say "I love you" to & know they feel the same towards you

Someone to bulid your dreams with

Someone to help you with the laundry

Someone to talk to & know they'll never judge you

Someone you can truly be yourself with

Then maybe you shouldn't have suggested things about your relationship in your first post BEFORE you edited it out, AFTER i made my post and just asked the good reasons for marriage. I was just offering my opinion, that is what this is supposed to be about. People here can only go on what you post so it's kind of nice when they are somewhat specific.

As a single woman, it is plainly obvious to me that married people/couples have a much better deal on financial matters...

1) Travel: you never have to pay the extra "single supplement"

2) Tax breaks if you're married, have kids....(again, not fair!)

3) Another income coming in, your bills are basically cut in half...

4) Better insurance rates

...and so on.

4) Better insurance rates

I can't believe someone would get married to get better insurance rates!

I've always thought marriage was supposed to be about the committment and what each of you was saying to the others about how you felt about you as a couple:

Yes, I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Doesn't that entail a whole lot of things and meaning. I know some say it without meaning it, but I also know the stupid silly smile someone who means it gets when they are getting married.

Living together is more like, I want sx with you, I'm willing to see you all the time, I'd like to share my life with you, but only for now.

More people need to take the committment seriously.

Everything that was mentioned, with the exception of having the last name, can be obtained in a committed relationship with another and doens't require marriage.

I guess the real question is, "Why do people want to get married?"

Is it because the piece of paper provides a way for people to confirm, to the public, how the feel for one another?

If so, think about this. If a person is committed to another but not married and chooses each day to spend their life with that person without a piece of paper to keep them there isn't that just as good?

To often people are in love with the idea of marriage but truly do not know what it takes to keep a marriage working.

Personally, I feel a lot of people throw the "marriage" word around too much when all they really want is companionship.

I'm not against marriage by no means. However, I am aware of what it really takes to make a marriage work. It's not easy but worth the effort with the right person.

All good reasons.

Star, sorry if I came accross rude in my reply to you.. I didn't word my first post right, and that is why I edited afterwards. Wasn't meant to offend you. I'm just trying to get the best feedback I can.. and sometimes, it's tough to word it exactly right.

I guess my main question isn't WHY someone should get married... as much as it is... what are the benefits.. or PERKS so to speak.

I hear so many people (not just my boyfriend) saying "Marriage sucks" and "Once you get married it all goes downhill". As well as the famous "50% of Americans get divorced.. why even bother!?"

So, let me see if I can reword my question so that maybe I can get the answers I'm looking for.

We all know the bad things about being married to someone,

Please list the perks about being married! ...

I hope that helps clear up my question just a bit. I"m sorry if I didn't come accross clear the first time around.

Thanks.

well, I agree with all the good things listed. As a romantic myself, that's why I would want to get married. But I guess one could say you could have all that without the "institution of marriage"

So the romantic in me thinks it's wonderful to fall in love and pledge your commitment to one another for the rest of your lives. To say to your partner "I look at my future, and you are there"

But pragmatically there are other things: Primarily the commitment. Granted marriages don't work out time to time, but I believe once you're married you do everything you can to work it out and you don't walk away. (ideally)

Also, being a team is very important to me. Granted, you can think as a team just as boyfriend and girlfriend, but when you're married there are so many more benefits -especially financially. You can pool your efforts -you can buy your dream house because you have a combined income, you can take time off to raise a child because your spouse will pick up the financial slack...you're a real team, and in my opinion you reap the benefits. No, it's not just about reduced insurance rates or whatever. But definitely a perk!

Yeah, I was just listing some of the practical reasons. All of which can reverse into a financial nightmare if you get divorced. To me, the best things about being married to someone you are ideally suited with:

1) Having someone to grow old with

2) Having someone there on your side through the tough times - like the song "Bridge Over Troubled Waters"

3) Sex on a regular basis! Also, the more comfortable you are with someone, the more you can let your inhibitions go...thus, even better, more adventurous sex!

4) Someone to laugh with

5) Someone to learn from

6) Someone to grow with

Well with that all aside Aktrez

I think the biggest benefit would be summed up as..

"Till death do us part"

One reason so many marriages fall apart is because they're worried about all the technical aspects and forget what it's really about, love and being with one another for the rest of their lives. I honestly can't think of any greater reason for marriage because to me, knowing i'll be with the person i love for the rest of my life is the greatest benefit and gift of all and everything else doesn't matter. This may not be one of the answers you're looking for, but it's the one i believe.

Listing reasons is healthy, it reminds you again why you are with (or should be without ) your love (Or why you should be working on it, lol)

Yes, to get married is like becoming family, and family ties bind the strongest. But when you decide to marry, you have to make sure the other person does not just say "I do" becouse it's a good thing to do. If you are christian, it is a promise you make to God to be with this guy, even if you discover you dont like the way his hair looks or his breath smells in the morning anymore after a few years.

The getting married kind of love is not a "feeling" it is a decision. Because feeling change and fade, but a conscious decision cannot fade, you made it with your head AND your heart. Its like you feel fantastic with the guy, and he makes your heart beat faster, and you eyes sparkle, but in your head you also have to know, he will be good to you when the going get's tough, and most importantly, be a fantastic father to your unborn children.

When I was still single, that was the things I looked for before commiting to anyone the questions I asked myself was:

If something had to happen and he had to lose a leg, or be confined to a bed, would I still want to be with him or look after him? (heavy hey!)

And if the same had to happen to me, would this guy stay or leave?

And the the second question is, sometimes watching him with his friends, or doing stuff in the house or kitchen, or in a club or whatever, would I want to bring his child into this world and be bound to him for eternity (that's how long children bind you )

Hope this helps?