This is really hard for me to write. But I feel I have nobody to talk to. Latley I have had serious thoughts of killing myself. It's not because of one bad relationship, or something stupid. It's EVERYTHING.
To start off, I'm 22 I dropped out of highschool, I have a horrible job. I am still living with my mother. She has been saying she wants me out of the house. My father is in prison. I have no family or friends left. My Ex boyfriend is the only thing that would make me truly happy, but I broke his heart and he hates me. I know you all will say "don't worry things will get better go back to school, you will meet someone......." But they wont. It's to late to go back to school, I don't even have a car. no money, and if I were to move out of my mothers, I would have to get an apartment and work like 80 hours a week.
The sad thing is, I don't wanna die, I really don't. All I want is to be happy ...and well I don't see that happening. Things keep getting worse and worse. I feel like a failure. Ok well I AM a failure. And I have nobody to blame but myself for all of my mistakes, and now it's to late.
So I guess what I need advice on, is how to do it. I want it done fast!painless! and not gross. (like shooting myself, or laying on the tracks) I want it fast and easy. ...please help me , this is something I have to do.