in love with the one, but she loves me but has doubts,HELP!!

ok lets start off thks for any replys,new here.anyway we have been dateing for about year and six months.yesterday we finally had heart talk.we have been fighting for couple of months.ive been trying to pull her in and she is pushing away.she is scared ,she feels that i might not be the one or has doubts.Me i love here alot to the point of growing old togeather.she loves me but is scared about the doubts and does not want to hurt me and does not want to end relationship,same with me.she feels that maybe she should move out for a bit see how she feels about our relationship in couple of months.i know im scareing her little bit by saying that i know she is the one and she loves me.help !!!!

That's a tough one. My ex of 4 years and I were in a similar situation. However, we didn't move in together. I can somewhat relate to how she's feeling. He still thinks that I'm in denial about him at times. But, towards the end of our relationship, our situation was similar to yours, in a sense that he wanted me to stay, but I had doubts. I told him the same thing, that I didn't want to break his heart. However, at that point in our relationship, we just fought waay too much. I then realized that perhaps we weren't as compatible as I thought. We were, but it's just that the fights also helped to cause the chemistry to die out as well. I guess at that point, we grew apart.

Perhaps she's tired of the fights as well. Maybe she's growing apart from you. Who knows. But, if she's the same age as you, then I can see that she's stable in knowing who she is, and what she wants out of life. I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation. Sometimes things don't always work out for the best, and sometimes we don't always have all of the answers. But, my best advice to you is to give it a little more time. It doesn't sound like the two of you officially broke up yet. I told my ex that I didn't think that he was the one either. I didn't want to break his heart, but that attraction that I felt for him, just faded. It died out. I tried several of times to rekindle it for myself, him included. But, the chemistry's either there or it's not. I don't know her personally, so that's why I think that it's good to give it time. If she doesn't feel that same attraction, or feel like you are truly the one, deep down inside, then there's no way of forcing her feelings.

Love just naturally has to happen. People cannot pull or twist someones arms to love them. If things work out, then great, but if they don't, then I think that by then, it's good to realize and face the consequences and move on. Otherwise, holding on, and sticking around for someone, who doesn't feel the same is useless, because forcing someone to love another person might work the other way around. It might scare them off. I admit. As much as I care for my ex, his telling me that I'm in denial, scares me off. I don't think that I can ever truly love him the same anymore. And by telling me that, I truly don't see him as 'the one.' I love him and all, but think that it's time for him to kinda let go. Often times, people like to have control of their lives, and want things to work out a certain way, but sometimes they can't always have it their way, and just have to accept it. I hope that you are doing well. Just keep in mind: Everything happens for a reason. Things will usually work out for the best.

I wish the both of you the Best of LucK!

Take Care & Hang in there!

Mahlina

Right you openly admit that it scares her when you tell her that she is the one. So.... Don't say it.

Instead follow the advice of Turboz:

Give her space. Do not smother her. Respect her.

When you tell her you love her don't repeat it. Don't continually try to force her to be romantic. If she's watching TV when you want her in bed let her do HER thing. A woman wants to feel comfortable with a man before she settles with him. If she doesn't feel comfortable with you but doesn't want to damage the relationship then you do mean something to her. She just isn't sure whether she could be with you long term. Back off a little and give her space. Treat her. Surprise her with a gift every 1-2 weeks. Do romantic things when she least expects them but most of all DON'T BE PUSHY. Give her the space and respect she deserves. When she see's that you really do care about how she feels she will see the light.

Good luck

-Turboz

thks for the reply i understand what u mean im trying hard just get scared,need to relax.i do do the romantic things just get little needey and wantey . thks alot hope there is more reply

love ras

Sometimes you can try TOO HARD. This isn't bad but it does put people off sometimes.

Just relax and be yourself (I know this is easier said than done).

Good luck

-Turboz