Getting over the fear of being hurt again...

Hello,

I was just wondering what is the best way to lose that fear of getting hurt again, and open up to someone new? I have been with someone for 9 months now and they are amazing and make me truly happy. The problem we are going through now? He feels like he is giving me his all and I am not. Unfortunately, I am haunted by a past relationship that the thought of loving someone again scares the crap out of me. It's kind of as if I put my emotions on hold and stopped thinking about them, because the thought of letting someone have me like that again is nervewracking.

We are going through problems now because of this, but I am willing to change this, since I don't want to go the rest of my life with a fear of giving my heart to someone again.

Any ideas on how one can start doing this?

Any help appreciated...

Thanks.

Hey,

I know exactly how you feel. I have now been in a relationship for around 9 months. I had the same problem as you, my past relationship did not turn out good. He always treated me like a little child, and telling me wat to do like i had no choice.

I got out of it, and withe the help of my best friend, i found someone else. The problem is when the past commes back to haunt you, whether it be them themselves, or things which remind you of them.

The best thing i found to do, was to actually talk to ur boyfriend. He doesnt no wat you are gong through mentally. Unless u tell him, he will think that there is something you are not telling him, and suspicion may one day break out. This will then lead to lots of different problems of not being close to him.

From experience, again, i did not talk to my boyfriend, i went and talked to his bestfriend, in which i felt i could talk to more about it. This is because i had become good friends with his best friend, not as a friend of my boyfriend, but as i person him self. This also caused problem when his best friend knew all about me, and i feared to telling my boyfriend.

I was also scared of ever telling him, in case he thought less of me.

One day, i decided to tell him, and thank god, i did. it releases a great weight of ur shoulders. Having someone so close to tsalk to, and so be able to have a relationship where u r not scared of saying anything. However bad it may be, when my ex decides to start talking to me, and continually, my bf is always there for me, because he symptahises with wat i have been through.

Altogether, i think u shud talk about it to him, it would clear your mind and share the load. it will bring u to closer as well becuase he may think u will be able to confide in him.

hope you are ok.

Hey, thats what boyfriends are there for right? If you talk it out with him, maybe he'll understand what is going on and not feel like you're not doing your share. Keep an open line for communication and tell him how you feel because guys tend to become insecure and start thinking too much into it when they're girlfriends aren't open with them about a certain issue.

Hey,

I have almost been with my bf for 4months now and i love him very much but i dont know what to do because when ever i stat to have a serious talk with him i get upset trying to and im not sure how come ( i have been hurt in the past ).

I asked him yesterday whether he was scared or afraid of showing me or telling me how he felt....and he said "bottom line yes." and im worried i will never be able to get him to open up, what should i do can anyone help me'/

But this wouldnt be the biggest problem for us to over come. In august i am moving to sweden for one yr to study and i know he said he would be faithful but im worried im going to lose him so now im thinking if i go ill lose the best thing thats ever happened to me

Well last night me and my bf a had the commitment talk and im so impressed but worried though even though i know he loves me. I asked him whether he would move in with me when i get back from over seas (im going for 1yr but im going to try to come back in 6months).

Well he said he would move anyday for me so im happy he said that and this would be the most serious relationship he has had and the longest as well for him but im proud he is trying to get over being a commitment phobe. I love him very much but just worried he will meet another girl

He said he wouldnt but im trying to trust him and believe him! I just dont know what to do?

Janelle

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