A Real Dilemma

hey everyone,

i have a real dilemma on my hands. im a good student in school. usually all As, if not 1 or 2 Bs... my mom always expects it, and nothing else. shes always giving me lectures, saying, "you can do it.... ill accept nothing lower than a 90.. etc."

well.... things at home havent been that great, but then again, thats not the point. the point is this : i blew it. i think... im not sure, i think im going to get a few Cs on my report card... ... for the first time ever. shes going to murder me if my suspisions are right. im terrified. i dont know what happened either. so when she asks "what the hell happened?" ill have to say idk. and that will only make her anger worse. i want to talk to her before the report card comes, but shes really moody lately and is pressuring me about finals.

idk what to do. she always expects me to be purfect, but i canr. i just cant. im falling apart... im breaking down, and shes to self-centered to notice it.

please,

help me.

Hello,

I am not really sure what to tell you but I can ask this why do you have such a bad feeling you have c's now?You might be just paranoid then again if you do have you been really stressed lately just try to do your best in school but do it for you a's and b's are good but a c is better then an F make sure you keep up on your work ok to your mom when the report card comes and let her know that you will try harder next time dont be mad at her she is just looking out for your education which is good

Well what did happen? You obvoiusly sound like a good student. You need to come up with an HONEST explaination of why you got a C and how your going to improve it. An excuse like I don't know sounds really childish.

Hey Katie,

don't stress over this. My parents are just like yours and yes I've often gotten penalized for such things. The fact is your parents are proud of you. Bring ur grades back up and u'll be fine. Be optimistic though, u might not even have gotten c's after all.

Best of luck

(and keeep ur marks up girl!)

My best advice is to be somewhat confident - not too confident, as it may come off as arrogance, but semi-confident, if anything act timid, but don't feel it. You're parents aren't going to kill you, they will have no choice but to accept it, and you may get grounded or punished or something, but know you've done the best you can. EVERYONE reaches a burnout stage in life; I just got my first B since 6th grade last semester, and everything was fine. Life goes on. Our school's valedictorian even had a B, and he was still valedictorian.

I actually felt, at one point, like life wasn't worth living during the first semester of my sophomore year. I lost my composure at school, and basically dropped out for a week. During that time I temporarily lost my ability to concentrate, for the most part, my ability to form new memories, and I also lost my long term memory, which to this day is still not as it was before that. (I know that because I find myself in situations where I instinctively, subconsciously know I've done something before, and my parents/friends tell me I've done it before, yet I have no conscious recollection.) No, I didn't do drugs or anything like that, I just stressed myself to the point I broke. I miraculously received all As that semester, and under the Lord's advice, dropped some of my more challenging classes to pursue my own interests (in my case Drafting, Programming and Robotics). Since then I've relaxed in school, perhaps a little too much, as I just received my first B last semester, but nonetheless, it has been worth it. School has never been easier, and I still managed a 3.9 GPA. My parents, though initially disheartened to see me lose my academic ambition, accepted it, especially after seen what had happened to me. Though your parents may not realize this, hopefully you at least can. Just know that you have done the best you can, and be willing to accept the consequences. Your parents won't kill you, and, like I said, EVERYONE reaches their breaking point. This may be yours, and if so, just try a little harded next year, and you should be doing great. (Just don't pressure yourself too hard. People work better when they're relaxed. You'll get better grades trying 90% than you will trying 110%) I hope this can at least help you in knowing that you're not alone, and hopefully from this you have a better understanding of yourself. Just approach your parents how you feel best. When you're feeling good inside, things nearly always work out for the best.

Probably the smartest person I've ever met told me this: "You have a lot of dedication to your studies and your future, and as everyone knows, you're a pretty smart kid, but sometimes my friend, you need more. Learn now to just let loose and enjoy the ride hands up and eyes open."

Ironically, just today, he told me how he once got a C. He was averaging an A in the class, but the teacher ultimately gave him a C because "he only worked 75% of his ability." His friend, on the other hand, who actually copied him on many occasions, got an A in the class, with over 100%, for what he did was "oustanding for his ability," though their work was the same. The point is: Life isn't fair; school is anything but.

All I'm saying is don't stress out. I've lived through the hellish horror of being truly overstressed, and NOTHING is worth that. Just have fun, and keep up the good work. You're still doing great.

Well said A4B4! You do sound intelligent and wise--no wonder your grades are so high.

Sometimes.. when we go through hard times our grades do drop and it is something that we nearly can not control. Personally, I believe you mental health is more important then your grades in the long run.. and so if you have to take a step back from homework and blow things off for a week because you have broken down and can't get up.. do so. A while back.. in I believe it was.. 7th grade? For a quarter I got a 2.0. Before that I nearly always had a 4.0 or close to it and after 7th grade my grades rose back up to the 3.5-3.8 area. The reasons my grades dropped SO low was because of a whole lot of turmoil. Even though I have been through other extrememly hard tims in my life.. I would say that was the wrost. Not necesarilly because of the events (they were bad.. ) But more so because I was too young an inexperienced to know how to handle them. I think I was about 13. Yes.. I was 13 ..

You too may be going through a time in your life where things are especially hard for you. Maybe not as extreme as my case was (it was awfully extreme) but it is hard I'm sure none the less. If you couldn't get better grades then you just couldn't.. all lthere is to it.

Also, I'm guessing you.. are a freshman in high school..?? The adjusting to a new place can mess with your grades as well. Just give your mom the true reason as to why your grades dropped (if they did) and work on bringing them back up.. and remember.. summer is coming soon! (I .. think. heh)

Take care,

SuzyQ

my mom is the same way. i just tell my mom school is getting tougher. it cant stay easy all the time. ive been stressed. there is a lot of stuff going on in my mind. i tried my hardest and thats the best i could do. ill try to do better next time. if shes a good christian she will understand. maybe not a first but later.....

well I see coming accross a solution in 2 ways.

1) Complain about teachers, complain about how hard it is, complain complain complain. So when she see's the C's, she won't be at total and COMPLETE shock.

2) If you get your hands on the card 1st, you can do this 8) ...

Write a letter for your mom. Start off by saying "This is easier for me to tell you in writing than in person". State you have a new BF. He is of (any race your parents would dissapprove of the most). The 2 of you have slept together. You missed your period and worst of all, your BF has aids. Keep blabing on and on to make her really shocked then last paragraph go like this....

I was just lying about my BF and my situation. I wanted to put things into a better perspective once you found out about me having C's this year. I don't know how it happened and it won't happen again.

I've done #1 before and parents didn't care. I'm try #2 if parents ever ask about my grades in college lol.

I don't think many parents would really appreciate or under stand the "wittyness" of #2. I am pretty sure most would be mad...

-SuzyQ

I would just brush it off.

"Yeah I got a C. It was tough, but I'll do better next time"

C's better than a D.

hey,

Yeah, its a really stressful time. my moms loosin it all the time. my dad was layed off 2 years ago when time warner (= ) bought his company. He's been looking for a job since then, and my mom has been picking up more and more hours at work. she says that we're running out of money and shes always srtessing about something. lots of fights have been happeneing between her asnd my dad, like i said, things are falling apart.

i dont know why exactly im sudenly falling in my classes, but its just that suddenly instead of receiving tests with 95s and 98s on them, ive been getting them back with 67s and 73s on them with a note saying "better prep needed". but i know thats not it. i think its bc of whats going on at home... because if ity wasnt then what has changed in my study habits? nothing has, ive been doing the same thing year after year, always getting the same results. its not that its getting harder, i know most of it from learning it last year, and i understand everything fine.

its not that im paranoid about getting a bad grade, its something i know. ive been looking over my grades, and hearing little comments from my teachers hinting at my unsatisfactory progress this quarter. in western civ, i caught a glimse of the grade book, the grades were in chronological order, and this is what it read for me:

A-, B+, A+, B, 73, 89, 67, 76

it sux! the As and Bs in the front are homework grades, they're averaged together, then averaged with the number grades. this is my calculation:

home work average: 88.75

Test and quiz average: 76.25

total: 82.5

Extra credit work: +3

Fina total: 85.5

.... ok, so my calculations were wrong on that one... either that or i messed up one of the numbers in the book. but western civ. isnt the only class im bombing.

theres also english... omg that ones bad, she didnt like my essay, i failed 1 or 2 quizes, i did bad.

spanish isnt that bad, neither is algebra, or chorus.

the only other 3 that im worried about are gym, religion, and bio.

i saw the grade book too in gym and the grades were thus:

100, 85, 75, 75, 90.

total average: 85

bio shouldnt be that bad... but its so uncertain. religion is uncertain too.

my suspisions arent paranoia tho. just yesterday i got back 3 tests: 67 (western civ.), 73 (bio, 83 w/ 10 pt. curve we got), and 72 (religion). im so upset with, myself. i know i can do better, and i should, its just not working out. i dont know what to do. i study, and its not how i study, bc most of the time i dont study at all, yet i get As. Maybe its bc i have been studying?? it doesnt make sense.... ... im so lost and upset. i dont know what'll happen.

please,

help.