Daughter concerned about father

I'm not exactly sure how to speak with my father about a growing concern of mine.

My father was dating a woman for about a year when she suddenly broke things off and disappeared. My father didn't see it coming and was heart broken. He later found out that she had been lying to him about a severe drug addiction and was into a lot of bad stuff. So we told him he was better off without her and he would get past it. Well, for two years she was gone and made no attempt to contact him so, he started to move on when all of a sudden she showed back up... and under fishy circumstances. She is completely broke, she's homeless, she's jobless, she's been arrested for drugs in the past six months, her only friend is recently released from prison, her children aren't speaking to her and now live with their father, and she needs an operation she can't pay for. Basically, she's found herself in a lot of trouble and desperately all alone. With all that in mind, she has suspiciously come back into my father's life and declared her (newly realized) undying love for him. Unfortunately, my father was not over her, and within a week or so she moved in with him and became completely supported by him.

Initially, I understood that people make mistakes in life and in considering my father's happiness I decided not to say anything about their reconciliation. I figured that people do change and time would tell if she had or not. However, recently it was announced that they plan to marry... and soon.

I am very concerned about this situation considering the fact that she has only been back in his life a little over two months, in which time she has made no attempt to fix her financial situation by finding employment, still associates with her friends of bad influence, and has made no attempt at rehabilitation or counseling for her drug addiction (which she claims to no longer have). My father appears to be so blinded by love that he's not even a little apprehensive about marrying her.

I'm 25 now and he and I have always had a happy and healthy relationship, but that is with the understanding that my advice is generally unwelcome where his life choices are concerned. I'm afraid that if I say something to him he will turn on me, but I feel I can't just sit back and watch my father do something so foolhardy. What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

This type of woman is what you would call a Suckubus, she's addicted to drugs and trying to find someone to finance her addiction. I say you tell your dad that you are concerned that she may be playing him for a chump. I've seen it happen before, you see, men are easily manipulated by women. Chances are he's not going to like you telling him what you think, but just stick to your guns. Does anyone else in your family feel the way you do? If so, have a intervention.

Well, yeah he is right, except it is Succubus. I guess the k makes it sound funnier. She doesn't sound like a very caring person. Of course we are only getting your side of the story. Maybe you should get your dad to talk about it on enotalone. refer him to this site, and maybe he'll use it maybe he won't. He has free will, theres nothing you can do to change this. You are 25, let him make his own choices. He can screw up if he wants, but it will still be his decision. Sorry, I haven't really been any help, but theres not a lot that can be done.

As a former drug addict and succubus lol i like that word...

I totally understand how you would want to help your dad.. but

If his mind is made up there is nothing you can do to help

he is a enabeling her, helping her be an addict and giving her permission by helping her and loving her (what he thinks is love) to use him and do drugs....

I sugguest that you tell him exactally how you feel and that he should maybe seek some help, like a alanon or narcanon or couseling (thats for people who are affected by people who use drugs and alcohol)

Beyond that I know it is painful but there is nothing you can do. Unless she crosses legal lines you can call the police....

I am sorry for your situation and I hope your dad sees the real truth.