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Thread: Sexual Innuendos - What do they mean, why do guys use them?

  1. #1
    hulagirl
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    Sexual Innuendos - What do they mean, why do guys use them?

    Hi,

    I'm new here and have a problem with a good friend. He calls to talk a lot and every once in awhile, he'll make sexual innuendos which kind of annoy me but I just brush them off. Should I say something to him about it? I like him as a friend (I could possibly be interested in him) but these comments confuse me. Are they a sign of disrespect towards me? What should I do?

  2. #2
    Sebulous
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    its just how guys talk to each other. Perhaps he feels comfortable around you to talk like that. I wouldn't dare drop innuendos unless I knew it was ok. Even then I would sparringly.

  3. #3
    1Adam12
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    Yes you should say something..you don't have to put up with that!!..You say your possibly interested in him..sounds like he'd want one thing from you if you date him. Why would u want someone like that..it just shows all he wants from you is basically sex and that he doesn't give a damn about you or your feelings at all!! or even has the same level of attraction towards you more than likely he'll just want sex from you then when u don't want to give it to him he will leave..

    I think Some..hence Some guys use sexual innuendo to boost their own ego or to show off their cockiness which just makes them look stupid..not to mention using sexual inneundos in the workplace will get you fired! I mean I honestly cannot think of any girl I have known or knew..but I know for a fact there are A Lot of guys out there who don't do this.

    I'm a guy and I wouldn't dare open my mouth and say those to a girl, thats asking for trouble. In my opinion its degrading to women out there who we are supposed to treat with respect..goes to show you the kind of society we live in these days..

    Anyone else have an opinion??

    Phil

  4. #4
    hulagirl
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    You're right. I know the comments are unacceptable and they do irritate me. Otherwise, he's an alright guy. When he makes these comments, I stop taking his calls sometimes, but then he keeps calling me and wants to know what I have been doing. I helped him with his ex-girlfriend who has a personality disorder. He helps me with my boyfriend problems. I was thinking to ask him if he respected me or not. If he said he did, I would ask him why then would he make these comments towards me? Is he trying to test the waters?

  5. #5
    Gunther
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    If it bugs you, just tell him you dont like him talking to you like that. If it bothers you, you should not have to put up with that kind of behavior. However I would take into account weather you think he is trying to kid you or if he is just being perverted. It sounds like it is inapropriat from what you have said. I would just tell him not to talk to you like that anymore the next time he does that.

  6. #6
    hulagirl
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    Is it okay for a boyfriend (in a playful way) to talk that way as opposed to a friend?

  7. #7
    Gunther
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    He should be able to tell from your reactions if it is appropriat or not, if you like him talking dirty to you, then it might be appropriate. If you dont like it, just tell him. If he still does it then maybe you should rethink if he is really a good friend\boyfriend to have.

    In a totaly moral sense it is not okay for him to do this, if that is what your asking. But some people dont mind it. If it isnt to much to ask could you give an example, I am not sure to what extent he is doing this.

    If you want to talk more feel free to pm me.

  8. #8
    hulagirl
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    Okay, as an example, sometimes I will give my friend dating tips. Because he gets too involved too fast (with the wrong kinds of women), I told him not to exchange bodily fluids (in other words, don't have sex too soon before you know the person). He'll say something like--"You want to exchange bodily fluids with me?", and I'll say NO, Don't exchange bodily fluids with women YOU don't know very well. This is a 'mild' example.

    As for my boyfriend, I'll ask him if he plans to be playful tonight--and he'll say Of course I intend to take your clothes off. But is this different because in this context he is my boyfriend?

    Does this make sense?

  9. #9
    Gunther
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    That clarifys quite a bit, and makes it easier for me to say this:

    If that is only a mild example then this guy is just being disrespectful but still keeping on the border of not being so insulting that you will slap him. I think that if you approach him in a semi-serious manner and ask him not to do that anymore that he will stop. And if he doesnt then he's just a jerk...

    As for your boyfriend it kind of depends on how far you have gone in the past. If you have fooled around before then what he said is okay. If he is still trying to get to second then he is out of line.

    The bottom line is you just need to ask your friend to stop making insinuations about you two being "intamate" and depending on how serious you are with you boyfriend he may or may not be right to say this.

  10. #10
    HippieBee
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    Argh!
    I'm friends (not very close any more!) with a guy that behaves the same way... I'm not even brave enough to give you an example of the type of things he has said to me.
    He's generally a pretty cool guy but he continued to make me feel really uncomfortable when I was around him.
    I was pretty firm in letting him know that he was acting inappropriately but this didn't seem to phase him. We're both seeing someone else and it got to the point that I started to feel guilty/felt like I was hiding something from my boyfriend and so I had to back off of our friendship.
    Verdict? No regrets. Sometimes I miss how close we were, but I need to be shown respect and treated with common decency.
    You have to decide for yourself when enough is enough.

    Boyfriends are definitely different, but it still depends how comfortable you are with his comments. I'd say that flirting/being cheeky with your partner is normal...

    ...And fun!

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