Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: How can I give her space and still get her back?

  1. #1
    evilforkmaster
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    3

    How can I give her space and still get her back?

    My girlfriend of 18 months broke up with me about a week ago. She said that she needs time and space to figure out how she feels and that she just wants to be friends for now. Well we had something like this happen before and she went away for a few days and came back and everything was good but this time it feels a lot different. I'm trying very hard to give her the space she wants but it's hard to not talk to her and stuff. She said she misses me sometimes and there is a channce her and I will get back together but I dont know how i should go about giving her the space she wants. I IM her still and call her once and a while and she said that that is fine but I get the feeling she only talks to me to be nice. I decided to leave for the summer because it will be easier for me to give her the space she wants being almost 1000 miles away rather than four. I just dont know what i should do. People keep telling me to ignore her and what not and I have been trying to but I really want to be with her again and I'm afraid that if I ignore her she'll think I dont care and she wont want to try again, and I cant have that. She said she isnt looking to get involved in another relationship but she cant promise she wont. So anyone out there that has gone through this (I'm sure there are many of you) can you please tell me what it is that i should and should not do given my situation? any help would be highly appreciated. I just cant lose her.

  2. #2
    DopeStar
    Member DopeStar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Staring out into space.... Pondering life
    Posts
    287
    check my sig, that post might inspire you.

  3. #3
    Hoping&praying
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Michigan
    Age
    43
    Posts
    412
    ForkMaster,

    The only thing I can tell you, and this is from experience is leave her alone. My wife told me the same thing, that she needed time and space, and I didn't give it to her. It just ended up pushing her away and ultimately resulted in a divorce which is still in process. It sucks...

    I say immediately implment the no-contact rule. It is hard to do, but know that your girlfriend loves you, and will not forget about you even if you do no-contact. Just tell her upfront, I want us to be together so I am willing to do what it takes, I will not be contacting you. When you are ready you can call, email, or meet me in person. That will get you much further than begging or pleading for her to take you back.

    Read up on no-contact in these forums. It is not a game you play, it honestly has its place.

    Good luck.

  4. #4
    swifty335
    Member swifty335's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Wilmington, NC
    Posts
    103
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    You pretty much just described my exact situation...except we were together for 2 years planning on spending life together, I started taking her for granted and treating he like ****, and she left me, even though I could tell she didn't really want to. But my ex has basically said the same thing to me that your ex said to you. She needs space and that a second chance isn't a complete no, but she wants to start out slow and get to know each other all over. Since that conversation...I've been in NC with her for about 14days now. It's really hard, but it is giving me the confidence I need for when I am ready to contact her and try again. It's getting to the point where I think I will be ready to contact her within the next month and ask if she would like to hang out.

    My advice would be don't contact her until you are in the mindset of moving on and are confident, because if you're still depressed and longing for her, she WILL pick up on that.

    When you are ready, just take it slow. Act as if it was the first time you went on a date with her, and just see where it goes. The first time going out with her after the break-up should probably not be for too long; try to just be yourself and seem like you're moving on and ok without her. After all, you want to leave her wanting more, right?. Try to be the person she initially fell in love with, but even better this time.

    There is no guarantee that she will come back; if she's like my ex, you will have to take control and be in the lead if you want her back. Just don't over-do it. Remember, TAKE IT SLOW. I can't stress that enough.

    I'd like to hear more on this post also...because my situation is almost identical to evilforkmaster's.

  5. Thanks cousin thanked for this post
Top Threads
Completely Confused? What does this mean?
Hi All- I was dating a guy for almost a year. We had a pretty great relationship- Things got serious. We told each other we loved each other. Even
She's confusing me..are we done?
So my girlfriend broke up with me just over a week ago..we have been living together for about 2 years...she tell me she loves me and misses me and
Is there any hope for me? I want him back.
Me and my boyfriend for more than a year just broke up after we went to Japan for anniversary trip. It was me who broke things off cause I was so mad
Help me. I messed up. I want him back.
OUR HISTORY: I’ve been dating my ex for 4 years on and off. For the first half of our relationship I broke up with him mainly because I knew I
Pregnant histrionic gf left
I had a relationship with a girl I now believe to have HPD. We fell fast, as is expected with her HPD and my CD (We are classic cases of both
Help! What Is the REAL Reason My Ex Called Me Again??
Hi guys, I apologize in advance for the long post that follows. Part of this is to just get this all off my chest.. Me and my ex girlfriend, who
Anyone have some advice?
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and we both decided to move in (also made sense financially). Anyways 2 weeks before we were going

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Completely Confused? What does this mean?
Hi All- I was dating a guy for almost a year. We had a pretty great relationship- Things got serious. We told each other we loved each other. Even
Boyfriend told me he couldn't afford holiday, next day books one to Thailand
Basically my boyfriend of 6 months is $40k in debt (I'm debt-free). We had talked about going to Vietnam and he said he needed 6 months to save up
Not a regular here, I have a few questions...
I'll try to make this brief. Been in a relationship (23F) with a man (35) for 5 years. Typical in the beginning, though I always wondered how he
Weed or Me
Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months - he is 31 and I am 24. He has recently started smoking weed every night and I don't really
Is He Hiding from Me?
Hi All, Need some advice from those that are familiar with social media apps such as Instagram.. I'v been friends with this guy for about a
Red flag in friendship
I've been through a terrible first break up and was in a lot of pain. I was physically and mentally sick due to the stress of the break up but I'm
I broke hard NC after 7 months (B I G M I S T A K E)
No surprise, I'm absolutely devastated. She pretty much blew me off like I was a piece of trash. At first I was happy because she actually responded
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •