Teenager....dead? I WISH!

It all started when my mum and dad got divorced they always argued about me and both of my sisters blamed it on me, that was 3 years ago we all know how long soliciters can take , ever since this ive cried myself to sleep every night, cut my wrists frequently. i tried to take an overdose quite a few time but through all the pills back up again. everytime i looked at the cuts i would cry and do it all over again until it became quite a viscious cycle!I started seeing a shrink and she put me on pills i grew so much faith in her i couldtell hereverything until one day she FORGOT to turn up to one of my appointmeants. this killed me inside i kept thinkin "god i must b so selfish to even think sum1 would waste there time on me in the first place. So i stopt takin my anti-deppressants and went back to the cryin and cuttin. Then as usual right at the wrong time turns up LOVE. me n a guy called James started hangin out together he knew about my problems but he didnt mind i was so happy that for once sum1 wasnt judgin me for it. but i fell deeper and deeper w/ him and i love him soo much then he sees sum of the cuts on my wrists and gets all patronisin sayin stuff like "u dnt need to do that u only do it for attention coz u want sum1 to pity u" That night i cried so much and cut again.we made up but jus recently hes told me he doesnt love me any more and just wants to be friends i dunno what ive dun. all i konw now is that the only 2 ppl i have ever trusted in my life have let me dwn they wernt there wen i needed them the most and now i c no point in livin and really want to die but i dnt no how to do it coz everytime a pills goes nr my mouth i wanna thro up how can i put myself ut of this misery

Hi . bRoKeN

I undertand that you must be feeling terrible at the moment but suicide is not the answer. You have to stop the cutting, it is not doing you any good, the physical pain that it causes may help to take your mind off the emotional pain that you are feeling but it is dangerous and only a temporary fix.

You have to try and go out to meet more friends, maybe you should also go and visit another phsyciatrist. You have to find things that will take your mind away from the thought of suicide, being around friends will help you do that.

I think that you should accept James as a friend, if he doesn't feel love for you any more then you can't really change his mind. Your shrink only missed one appointment, remember that she is only human - you shouldn't hold it against her.

Remember that what you are feeling at the moment WILL go away, it will not go instantly but bit by bit you will begin to feel better until one day you a fine.

If you were to end it al you would be throwing away a future, the chance of meeting someone you love, friends, a job and a family. Each of those things are worth holding on for in themselves.

If you need someone to talk to then feel free to PM me or anyone on this site.

abcd1234

ok i feel the same the only person i trusted with the fact that i cut told me to talk to someone else and that im beyond help so i should stop bringing him down with me. you couldnt begin to imagine the things that lead me to do to myself i think u r sincere that u dont cut for attention some ppl do and it makes me sick to the pit of my stomach how ppl exploit our problem to manipulate ppl my dad thinks i do it for attention but i dont in fact i just want to be left alone your parents divorce isnt your falt either both my parents say it is my fault suicide is not the answeri hoped i have helped you in some way btw do i really seem beyond help?