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Thread: how to act after being dumped

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2004

    how to act after being dumped

    well my gf of over a year dumped me a few days ago. She went on a trip to florida with some people from her swim team and apprently she found someone she likes better and has now cast me aside. She says she wants to be friends but in school shes very grouchy towards me. Im still hurting but when im around her should i try to act friendly or just keep my distance?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2003
    I guess that counts as cheating? But who knows.

    If I were you I just wouldn't talk to her at all...what for? It only gives you stress, and I can guarantee you that she is only looking out for why don't you do the same? And if she acts y towards you for no reason just tell her to get don't owe her anything anymore....and don't let ppl treat you like that!!!!!!

    NO CONTACT RULE. The reason is because if you stay friends with her, it relieves her guilt over the breakup and validates her choice to leave you. She's probably putting you down a lot right now because she has to. Why? She needs to convince herself she's moved on to something better, and is putting herself on a pedastol.

    I ramble. But if I were you I just wouldn't talk to her at all for a while. No talking, no phone calls, no MSN, no you can clear your mind.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    I agree with bzborow1's ramblings - you owe her nothing. She's the one who left. She just wants to lessen her guilt for letting you go. Don't give her the satisfaction.

    When you see her, just act detached, like she's not even there. If she says hi, don't even say hi back. If she confronts you, just knod your head, and then just leave.

    Hi yaaaah!
    I'm learning to be myself again.

  4. #4
    Member SteveNaive's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Third rock from the sun
    Well, you already got good advice here and I do not really have to add anything. I would however not go for straight no contact if you really want to be friends with her. Try to be friendly when she is around, but at the same time try to keep your emotional distance. I know it is really hard to find a balance in doing this. Show her that you do not need her as a friend, so that if she reallt wants you to be a friend she has got to putu some effirt into this. In the end, she was the one to destroy the thing you had, so she is the one to make up for it, right?! So take your time, try to heal, be friendly if you can (and want to)...
    "This feeling of safety that you prize, well it comes at a hard hard price,
    you can't cut off the risk and the pain without losing the love that remains,
    we're all riders on this train..." Bruce Springsteen - Human Touch

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