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Thread: 24 and never had a girlfriend

  1. #11
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    Hi

    I am 19, in my first year of Uni and have also never had a girlfriend but I really want one. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
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    Try joining different clubs or social groups, that will help you meet people and potential girls with a common interest. At the very least, you'll meet new people and build your social network.

    Originally Posted by cb69
    Hi

    I am 19, in my first year of Uni and have also never had a girlfriend but I really want one.

  3. #13
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    I am also in the cycle...

    A few points to make of my situation:

    1)
    I am 24 and have never had a proper girlfriend in my life. Looks-wise I think I am not bad. Throughout school, many girls have liked me, but I never realized it at the time-- it's something I've only realized after thinking about it, years later. Nowadays, I've been working on paying more attention to subtle cues from girls, to have an idea what they think of me. I do manage to talk to girls that I find attractive (while being nervous of course), and sometimes I think I get the right signals from them, but I don't know how to "take it any further". I get stuck giving the appearance that I am only a "neutral" acquiantance/friend without any special intentions.

    Of course, to have a girlfriend, she must be your friend first, which leads to my next problem:

    2) On the whole, I find it very difficult to make any real friends. I meet many people, sure, but I never seem to make the transition from acquiantance to friend. With that said, I have no problems spending time on my own, and I enjoy being in the company of only myself. I must admit that I am not the "groupy" type of person who has a need to spend a great deal of time with friends, or that he must do everything with friends or "else it's not worth doing". In spite of this, I do yearn to have a girlfriend to share time and intimacy with.

    (3) As far as confidence towards girls goes, on the whole it is low, but I am working on it. I try to say hi to girls I feel attracted to, but I'm usually too nervous to keep a conversation going beyond a minute.

    Any advice on how to improve my girlfriend-less situation would be highly appreciated.

  4. #14
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    As for me i wish i can just turn the hormone switch off as of right now and just let it come later and not bother me.I get tired of feeling down knowing i do not have one and it doesnt seem liek any like me.I wish u can just forgot about that subject oif life till your rdy but those thoughts keep going through my mind.prom was tonight and like usual i was at work and then at my house playing computer which isnt fun and i get depressed because so many people get to go.Next year will be worse though when all my friends go and i wont prolly have a gf by then either or anyone who would want to go out to the prom with someone liek me.

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  6. #15
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    I'm 28 and have never had a girlfriend. I've barely had any "girl friends" either. I know exactly how you others who have posted in this thread feel. So at the very least, we're "not alone", as the site name says.

    I'm no "handsome devil" but I don't think I'm a "disfigured monster" either. I have two university degrees, a very high paying job (lawyer), am highly intelligent, funny (I think so anyway!), and try to be friendly. I would do anything for a friend of mine.

    I am very shy, and don't think I could tell a girl that I like her, other than indirectly. I can identify completely with "untitled" and his story about his email "encoded messages". That is not retarded at all. In fact, it got you your answer. I'm not sure if you misinterpreted what she said to you, or if she really wasn't interested. If it was a misinterpretation, you need to "get over it" and move on (I know that sounds harsh but it's the reality - she has a boyfriend now). If she was not interested in you in that way, it was better to know that and be able to move on.

    I have been hung up on a couple of girls in my life (and that's literally all - 2 of them) and they never knew I liked them. The first one now has a boyfriend. I really think that people like us get too hung up on too few women. It's not healthy to obsess over someone for two years like I did with this one girl, never being able to tell her. I've come to realise that, painful as it is, if someone dosen't like you, that is never going to change and you have to move on. I thought I could never like someone again in the way that I liked her, but that has proven wrong, and now I'm obsessed with a whole other girl that I can't tell! Hahaha - ok, but I have made some progress, because I did not like this girl at all at first, so it shows me that someone can "grow on me" and cause me to feel in a way that I thought only one person on the whole planet could before. Does this make any sense? If people like us get too connected with one person, when she turns us down we are shattered, and it's like a huge setback we may never get over.

    I can't really offer advice, because I am probably more screwed up than anyone here, but after this long I have managed to keep my spirits up about this whole thing and not let it get me down. I can only suggest you others try to be optimistic and see the upside (if any). scrop, I don't think that looks are the reason (the ugliest guys in the world can get women for chrissake!), but it's a mental attitude. The attitude needs to change. I haven't worked out how yet, but I'm working on it, and I'm taking "baby steps". As outlined above, the first step for me was to realise that I can't get obsessed with someone who I think is perfect for me, but who I find out has no interest, to my absolute devastation. For others, the first step will be different. Eg, for scrop it may be to realise that he isn't unattractive. My advice scrop - post a photo of yourself anonymously at link removed, and let people rate you. You might be surprised! I posted photos of me and of the guy who is going with my first obsession and guess what - I'm rated 8 and he's a 4! What an ugly b*stard! hahaha. That made me feel so much better.

    I will continue to work on my issues (and yes I know the "staying up until 4am because I can't sleep thinking about this" feeling). You need a positive attitude. Someone says you have to like yourself for others to like you - I don't know if that's correct (currently I don't think so), but I think you DO need to stay positive because if you are going to wallow in self pity or agonise over these things then no woman will want be with someone with that amount of "baggage".

    I will read the advice of others in this thread in interest, and would particularly like to hear from anyone who has been in a situation like mine (nearly 30 for chrissake and never had a girlfriend) and has managed to pull through it.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member NightLily's Avatar
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    :(

    Awww you guys! Your stories are so sad. *gives all of the girlfriendless guys a big hug*

    Well maybe I can at least tell you how you could possibly find a girl to date? Something that would work on me?

    Hmm, if a guy came up to me and gave me a sincere, sweet compliment I would probably be very flattered. I would also probably be just as nervous as the guy, so remember that! I think if he asked for my phone number I may or may not give it to him depending on how comfortable I feel with him initially, but most likley I would give him my email address.

    Also, go to places where people, much like yourself, hang out. I am sure you can find somebody doing that. I would befriend just about all types of guys regardless on how he looks (and I do), and many people compliment me on my looks often.. so thinking that when going up to a beautiful woman or girl that she will spit on you lol or something of that nature, really isn't realistic. Sure, a few of them might.. BUT THEY AREN'T WORTH HAVING!! Be a gentleman and one day some lucky girl will realize what a catch you are.

    A few places I would try going if I were you:
    churches- you can actually find a good number of healthy looking, nice woman at churches.
    some sort of a class-you can take figure drawing classes or the like on saturdays or something and you can meet people that are full of passion there and share your interests.
    fixing somebody's computer!- I would say it is pretty much a fantasy of woman everywhere to need something fixed and having a man come to help you that is either hot, or extremely nice and sweet. (hot can mean very different things for different people. ex-I like tall guys, my friend likes short guys)

    Anyways, I hope that can help you guys out somehow. Just remember (this is from the inside heh).. I am an attractive woman I would say and I would never be cruel to a guy that nicely approached me. Most likley, I would smile.

    -SuzyQ

  8. #17
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    WHat about if your ugly and u walk up to girl and give them a comliment most of the time that just seems to be asking for rejection?What i mean is liek a blank stare of like "Why r u talking to me?"

  9. #18
    Platinum Member NightLily's Avatar
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    Well

    Again, if you came up to me and gave me a sincere compliment, "ugly" or not (assuming you looked somewhat sane or safe..) I would smile, and be happy. If it was anything vulgar, of course I wouldn't!.. But if it is sweet and genuine, then yeah, I would smile Shinobie.

  10. #19
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    Last edited by wlfpack81; 04-28-2010 at 02:40 PM.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member NightLily's Avatar
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    Why do you think you don't have a girlfriend wlfpack? Just because of your shyness? ..

    Maybe, you could try making friends with some "non threatening" females. Not to stereotype, but try going up to a woman that seems rather boyish or friendly. One you think you can relate to more. I wouldn't try going for the.. high maitnence.. you know what I mean. Anyways, push through your shyness a bit and try talking a girl like that. Then, you can at least get a little bit more comfortable with girls. You could end up liking her or maybe liking some of her friends if you ever meet them.

    Don't know how much that will help you, but I hope it does!
    *gives wlfpack a kiss on the cheek* See? Now you have been kissed. (joking)
    -SuzyQ

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