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Thread: !! WHAT SHOULD I DO?? !!

  1. #1
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    !! WHAT SHOULD I DO?? !!

    Thank you soo much for posting a reply...I need all the help I can get!

    All persons involved in my relationship conflict are professionals in their late 20's.

    I dated Doug for 5 months, I was not fulfilled in the relationship because he was not crazy in love with me and I decided to see other people. We maintained our friendship and soon became best friends.

    I immediately started dating Richard and we were crazy about each other. Very nice and he treated me wonderfully. After seeing Richard for about 2 months, Doug and started hanging out by ourselves and ended up sleeping together several times. Since then Doug has told me that he wants us to get back together and he has very strong feelings for me.

    Since then, my relationship with Richard has changed (obviously) and I don't know what to do!

    I told them both last night that I needed a month of not dating anyone to see how I really feel. How should I make this decision?

  2. #2
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    You takes your chances

    Been there, you run the risk of losing both (maybe) but im sure you know that. Though from what you say they both want you. The answer to your question is borrow anyone of these:

    if just for fun and you know it isnt for ever look for who will make you feel the most alive

    if for longer these two questions apply strictly to love and work even if you arent planning long term
    1. can you accept this person as they are (no changes)
    2. if you had children would you want them to raise your kids if you died

    they may seem strange but they hold a lot of answers in two simple questions.

    and of course do a pros and cons list and finally let go if you can long enough to see which one you would miss most. or imagine you made the decision about one, how would you feel about the other.


    and last why not keep both? i did that for six months and then chose when i knew i was falling in love with both.

    Cheers

  3. #3
    divine.manifesto's Avatar
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    It seems like Doug must mean something to you since you have kept him close through all of this and went back and slept with him even though Richard was offering what you wanted when you were with Doug. But it all comes down to where you want your relationship to go and who will give you what you need to fulfill those goals. Good luck!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    Um, how about dropping both of them becuase you obviosuly dont care enough to be faithfull to either?

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  6. #5
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    This reminds me a little about a great movie (at least to me, others found it corny) from the 1980s called St. Elmo's Fire. rent it.

    If you don't rent it and/or do and don't find answers there, I suggest you date neither of these men for at least three months, with no contact as well and see if you miss either of them or both (and if so which one more).

    I loved the two step analysis of the poster above - not so sure it covers the entire territory but it is a darn good starting point and provides a good perspective for thinking of this.


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